Last time, on Revenge of the Island! Twenty-one campers went on a scavenger hunt that was spooky… and very, very painful. The campers slowly started to disappear, making some of our contestants freak out. Mike had a meltdown. Cameron lost his temper. And Brick peed his pants. Multiple times. And despite Brick abandoning his troop, Jo bore the brunt of the blame for commanding the cadet to do so. But it was pageant queen Sugar who took a one-way boat to loserdom. Who will lose next? And who will lose their own mind before doing so? Find out right here, on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!
Intro plays.
A small cluster of campers - Shawn, Mike, Jasmine, Zoey, Sky, and Samey - are engaged in the age-old ritual of tossing a frisbee outside the cabins. Some competitive banter is exchanged, emphasizing camaraderie, but the scene as a whole feels dour due to the drama of the previous episodes and the toxic nature of the island.
Jasmine catches the frisbee. "So… Sugar, huh?" Jasmine says, turning the conversation towards the Mutant Maggots' recent elimination. She throws it to Shawn.
"Yeah," Shawn responds, catching the disc. "It was between her and Anne Maria. They were constantly arguing. It was really bringing the team down." He throws it to Mike.
Mike catches the disk. "Yeah, people need to resolve their petty disagreements so the team can win."
Samey's expression shifts, and she seems deep in thought. "Petty disagreements…" She's too lost in thought to see the plastic frisbee flying toward her. It hits her in the side of the head. "Ow!"
"I'm sorry!" Mike apologizes. "Are you ok, Samey?"
Samey clutches her head but quickly takes her hands away from her face, revealing an expression of newfound determination. "It's Samantha. Not Samey. And I'm fine. I need to take care of one thing." Samey, now going by her actual name, Samantha, abruptly leaves the circle.
"What was that about?" Sky asks.
"I may have an idea…" Jasmine replies, her thoughts drifting to Samantha's twin, Amy. She considers helping her friend but realizes that Samantha needs to resolve this issue alone.
SAMANTHA CONFESSIONAL: They're absolutely right. If Sugar and Anne Maria's arguments over… hair products or whatever… can get one of them eliminated, then Amy's long-standing beef with me can only put an even BIGGER target on my back! She did almost get me eliminated a couple episodes ago with that whole ripped sail thing… I've tried ignoring her, but that only seems to dodge the issue instead of fixing it. I remember someone on our team saying I wasn't approaching this issue from the right angle. Who was that again?... Oh, yeah…
Samantha enters the Rats' girls' cabin, where Dawn is meditating cross-legged. Dawn opens her eyes. "Oh, greetings, Samantha. If you don't mind me calling you that instead of Samey. It's because I sense a change in your aura."
"Ok…" Samantha says, slightly off-put by Dawn's apparent telepathy. She regains composure. "Do you remember when you said something about how just dressing differently or ignoring Amy wouldn't make the problem go away? What did you mean by that?"
"Changing your appearance can be a step towards personal growth, but the real issue lies in the energy between you and Amy. Changing your clothes or completely ignoring her will only degrade Amy's self-worth further and cause her to be even more irritable and antagonistic. You need a genuine conversation, a chance for both of you to express your feelings and concerns openly."
"That's impossible," Samantha replies bluntly. "She'll NEVER listen to me. She'll find a way to turn it into a fight."
"I believe the issue lies just as much with you as it does with her," Dawn philosophizes. "With an attitude like that, you're not confident when speaking to her. When she sees that lack of confidence, it confirms in her mind that you aren't as strong as she thinks, and she'll target it."
"I don't understand…" Samantha says.
Dawn tries a different perspective. "Basically, both of you think that to feel better about yourself, you need to make the other feel worse. Whether it be insulting or ignoring the other, you both are waging a spiritual war against each other. It's very distressing to see."
Samantha goes on the defensive. "So you're saying I'M the bad guy for ignoring Amy? She's bullied me for years; she deserves it!"
"There is no bad guy," Dawn replies. "It's just-"
"You're saying how Amy is treating me isn't bad? You're condoning her?"
"You're inability to face this issue just shows-"
"I thought you were supposed to be a spiritual guru. But clearly, all this meditating means you know nothing about actual… human social interaction!" Samantha jabs. "Just talk to her? She's not that bad? Are you kidding me? Go back to talking to birds! Clearly, humans are too complicated for you!"
Dawn sighs. "Don't you see what your image of Amy is doing to you? Now you're just turning into her. Defensive and vindictive."
"I am NOT-" Samantha abruptly stops, realizing her temper has reached a boiling point. She holds her head in her hands and tries to calm down. "I'm sorry. I'm never like this. I don't yell."
Dawn pauses. "Try and use this experience to understand why Amy acts cruelly to you. She probably feels similar to how you do now."
"Yeah…" Samantha is now back to her normal, unassuming self. "I suppose there's a little bit of Amy in me. In all of us."
"That feeling is not Amy. It's insecurity. And we all feel it," Dawn says. "As soon as you stop seeing Amy as an unfeeling bully and someone who is deeply insecure just like you, then you will be able to mend this spiritual gap."
"I'm not insecure!" Samantha says before holding her hand in front of her mouth at another outburst. She was proving Dawn's point. "I'm sorry. You're right. I'll try to work on this."
DAWN CONFESSIONAL: I'm glad I was able to help Samantha on her spiritual journey. But I can sense so much discord with the auras of this island that it will do very little to alleviate the spiritual discord that I constantly feel in this place. Everyone's spirit here is deeply entangled with fear and resentment. But, by far, the worst of all is Chris. What a sad, sad, sad little man.
Chef is quietly cleaning dishes in the kitchen when he is interrupted by an unexpected visitor.
"Chef!" Chris exclaims, barging into the kitchen unannounced. "I just heard about this new energy mix that's supposed to improve tone definition in my calves. Do you have agave, dragon fruit, açaí, quinoa, artichoke heart, cumin, garlic, saffron, vanilla extract, champagne, goat's milk, diphenhydramine, bismuth subsalicylate, and a slight bit of polonium?"
"...I have bread."
"Chef…processed carbohydrates can harm my collagen! You don't want me to get wrinkles?"
"I think if you eat polonium, you'll have much more to worry about than wrinkles."
"...Whatever. Where are the campers?"
"Eatin' breakfast."
"Great." Chris exits the kitchen and enters the main mess hall with his signature gravitas. "Greetings, you pathetic, desperate little rugrats!" The twenty remaining campers look up from their unsavory meals, but the sight of Chris is not exactly an improvement.
"Quiet!" Scott yells. "I'm trying to eat!" Scott motions to his "food," which twitches briefly.
"I'm sure getting one step closer to ONE MILLION DOLLARS is more appetizing than… whatever it is you're eating right now."
Cameron raises his hand. "Um, excuse me, Mr. McLean, have you seen my retainer?"
"No. No, I have not." Chris ignores Cameron's concern. "Today's challenge involves PAIRS!"
"Pears? Like the fruit?" Rodney asks.
"Not the fruit, Rodney," Chris says exasperatedly. "Pairs. Like two people. Joined together."
Rodney tries to get a handle on what Chris is saying. "Oh, like conjoined twins. I saw one of those once."
"No, not literally joined together… though that might be an interesting idea for the future." The contestants exchange wary glances at Chris' statement.
"Can we pick the pairs?" Ella asks. She looks at Brick, who is still upset about his failure in the last challenge. He stares down at his meal and does not return any acknowledgement.
"No. That's boring. I pick the pairs," Chris says. "I cooked up some real fun ones."
ELLA CONFESSIONAL: I hope I get Brick. He is in a rather dreary mood and could use some cheering up! I always know how to cheer people up! Well, I think I do, anyway…
SAMANTHA CONFESSIONAL: If Chris created these pairs to maximize drama, he would HAVE to put me with Amy! Then, we can finally resolve our differences. (Samantha feigns confidence, but a look of worry flickers across her face.)
SKY CONFESSIONAL: I'm okay with getting anyone on my team; I don't have problems with anyone. Well, actually, there is one guy who acts really weird around me… It's kind of uncomfortable. But the chances it will be him are slim, right?
DAVE CONFESSIONAL: Please, Sky, please be Sky, please, please…
Chris pulls out a notecard. "Time for the pairs. Maggots, you're first."
"Ella and Cameron. Shawn and Anne Maria." The first two pairs exchange unsure glances. "Mike and… Zoey." Mike and Zoey seem more enthused at their grouping but remain silent. "Sky and…Dave."
"All right!" Dave exclaims.
Sky winces. "Yeah…"
Chris reads off the final pair. "And finally, Jo and Brick."
"Oh great," Jo scoffs.
Brick protests. "Last time I listened to Jo, we lost!"
Chris offers his explanation. "I know. That's why I put you two together. Maybe you can resolve your differences. But hopefully, you just get madder at each other. It's better for ratings."
Chris moves on to the Toxic Rats. "Rats! Let's see what's in store for you." He pauses to glance at the card. "Sam and Jasmine. Topher and Lightning. Dawn and Scarlett. Amy and…" Chris pauses, shifting his glance between Rodney, Samantha, and Scott. Any of them could make for a compelling partner to Amy. "...Samey."
"It's Samantha," Samantha corrects. "And thank you, that's exactly what I wanted."
"What?" Amy reacts, confused more than repulsed.
"That leaves ginger farm rat and ginger farm Hulk," Chris says, indicating Rodney and Scott.
"So what IS the challenge?" Shawn interjects.
"An escape room!" Chris declares. "Five of them, actually. Follow me, It's easier if I just show you."
The scene cuts to a clearing on the island, where two 5x2 grids of hastily assembled rooms sit. One 5x2 grid is green for the Rats, the other red for the Maggots. Chris begins his explanation. "This structure will test your trust, honesty, and communication. Each of the five stages has two rooms for each team - one room for each pair member. In order to unlock the door, you both need to answer a question about your partner. In order to GET the answer, your partner needs to hand you a key on their side with the correct answer written on it. And vice versa. You will also be given a baton. After you unlock the door, pass the baton on to the next pair. You have to get BOTH batons across the finish line to win. First team to do so doesn't have to send someone home."
"What about the other team?" Lightning asks dimly.
"They… DO have to send someone home."
"Are these, like, trivia questions?" Sam asks. "Don't worry Jas, if the topic is video games, I know my stuff from Atari to Z…uhh…"
"Zelda?" Jasmine suggests.
"Oh, yeah."
"Well, sort of. I went through some footage, mostly unaired confessionals, and every time I heard or saw someone do something weird or incriminating I jotted it down." Chris chuckles ominously. "Let's get this game started. I want to see some sparks fly."
Cut to the contestants, all in their rooms, each one adjacent to their partner. Chris sounds an airhorn to begin the challenge.
The first two duos are Topher and Lightning for the Rats vs. Anne Maria and Shawn for the Maggots. Anne Maria approaches her door first and reads off the question left there. "Where is Shawn's… bunker? What?"
Shawn winges, clearly displeased at this.
SHAWN CONFESSIONAL: I set up a secret survival bunker on the island just in case the mutated creatures get a little bit… out of hand. But it's a secret! I deliberately found a place with no cameras. I think. Anyway, there's only enough supplies for one person, which is why I didn't want anyone to know. There might be one or two people I'd let in… but certainly not Anne Maria! Her hairspray would mess up the air ventilation!
Anne Maria wants a quick answer. "What does this question mean, beanie? Give me the key!"
"Uh, let's do yours first," Shawn says, eager to change the subject. He glances at his door. "Does Anne Maria wear a wig?"
Anne Maria is incredulous. "What? NO! Here." She quickly grabs the 'NO' key and slides it through a slot connecting the two rooms.
"Are you sure?" Shawn presses.
"Whaddaya mean 'Am I sure'? It's MY hair!"
"But, see, I figure they wouldn't ask this question unless it was true. It's supposed to be embarrass-"
"I don't care why or how or whatever. The answer is NO. N-O. Isn't this a trust exercise? Whatever happened to that?"
"I mean, look at it. It's clearly a wig. Let's be honest."
"What did you just say? You're lucky this slot is too small ,or else I'd come over there and pluck every hair off your stupid head!"
"But, knowing Chris, if I get it wrong, I'll probably get an electric shock, or something."
Chris smirks in the foldout chair that he observes the challenge from. "Wow, am I really THAT predictable?"
"Well, it's a good thing I gave you the right answer. Now take the key!"
Shawn hesitates before daintily taking the key as if it were toxic, and lightly inserting it into the lock. It fits. The door opens. "What? How?"
"Because you can't fake hair like this, moron!"
SHAWN CONFESSIONAL: I don't understand. What kind of drama comes from Anne Maria NOT having a wig? Now she just hates me and… oh, wait a minute.
Meanwhile, Topher and Lightning struggle with their own questions.
"What word did Lightning use to describe Topher while Topher was in exile?" Topher reads.
Lightning ignores this and grabs his clue with gusto. "Sha-bam!" He looks down at the card. "Does Topher still hold a grudge against Sam?"
Topher is quick to react. "What? How can you even, like, know that? It's subjective…"
Lightning offers his own perspective. "Lightning holds a grudge against everybody on this team. For being LOSERS!"
Back at the Maggots, Shawn finally concedes. "Alright, here." Shawn puts a key through the slot. Anne Maria picks it up.
"What is this?" She asks, confused at the answer on the key. "It's just numbers."
"It's GCS coordinates."
"Well, I've got no idea what any of this means so consider yourself lucky." Anne Maria tries to open the door with the key Shawn gave her. She receives an electric shock instead. "AGH! You idiot, you did that on purpose!"
"No, no! I got the wrong one!" Shawn defends. "I can't keep strings of numbers straight." Shawn takes another key and gives it to Anne Maria. It works.
"Ugh. Finally."
SHAWN CONFESSIONAL: For the record, that really was an accident.
ANNE MARIA CONFESSIONAL: For the record, I know that was on purpose.
Lightning tries to recall his specific word usage. "I called you sneaky or stupid or… somethin'." Lightning looks down at the keys before him and sees the answer. "Sha-shady! That's the one!"
"Sha-shady?" Topher is confused by Lighting's bizarre usage of prefixes.
"Sha-exactly." Lightning puts the key through the slot and Topher takes it.
"Thanks…I think..." Topher replies. Topher grabs the "YES" key from his side. "Here."
"Yes?" Lightning looks at the key. "Whatever. Not my problem." Lightning clearly has no interest in petty grudges on his team.
TOPHER CONFESSIONAL: Of course I still have a grudge against my team. Sam especially. Can't stand 'em. But Sam made me realize something. If I want to be effective as both a contestant and a future host, people need to like me. Even if I don't like them. So I'll keep performing this role of the team player who wins challenges and isn't here just to boost his own reputation on TV.
Shawn and Anne Maria pass their batons to Ella and Cameron, while Lightning and Topher pass their batons to Scott and Rodney.
"That was… fast," Scott says, taking the baton from Topher while eyeing him suspiciously.
"Fast is good! Fast means we win!" Topher states emphatically.
"Let's just get this over with," Scott groans, turning his attention to his door. "Who does Rodney have a crush on?" Scott rolls his eyes. "Oh, for crying out loud. Is this middle school? What kind of baby question is this?"
Rodney does not seem as nonplussed. He stares down at the keys, each one inscribed with the name of a different female camper - including eliminated ones. "Uh… how can I…I can't choose!"
"Just read me my clue," Scott demands. "It better not be anything as stupid as that."
Rodney reads the clue. "Which contestant has Scott spoken to the most?"
"That's it?" Scott scoffs. "I don't… who even would that be? I don't like talking to anyone here!" Scott looks down at the keys. "It's probably one of the guys. I don't know. Sam?" Scott slides the key through the slot.
Rodney puts it into the lock and quickly recoils from a shock. "Ow!"
"I have no idea who this even is. I don't keep track…" Scott's eyes drift across the keys and rest on the key labeled 'Scarlett.' He recalls his secret alliance. "...oh."
"You found it?" Rodney says hopefully, still shaking off the static from a few seconds ago.
"...You haven't guessed yet," Scott defects. "You put a guess in."
"I… uh…"
Meanwhile, Cameron and Ella brief themselves on their questions for the Mutant Maggots.
"What item did Cameron bring with him that he doesn't want the others to know about?" Ella reads.
"Who does Ella hate?" Cameron reads. "Ella hating someone? That's hard to believe."
"Hate is such a strong word," Ella objects meekly. "I wouldn't go that far…"
Cameron is quick to answer his question, so as to encourage Ella. "What I'm hiding under my pillow? Well, it is embarrassing, but I want to help the team win. It's a stuffed bear. I bought it because it's my first time sleeping away from home and I thought it would bring some sort of psychological comfort."
"There's nothing wrong with a little boy with a stuffed animal," Ella reassures. "I don't know why they even allowed a child here, it's dangerous!"
"I'm the same age as everyone else."
"Oh, sorry, Cam…"
"...don't worry about it. Just give me your key and we'll be good to go."
"Right, of course…" Ella hesitates. "But oh, I can't!" She holds her arm theatrically to her forehead, as if she were about to faint.
Scott's temper is quickly wearing thin. "Come on, dude, just pick already!"
Rodney stammers incoherently. "B-But how can I let down Amy? Or Jasmine? Or…"
"Pick already!"
"Okay…" Rodney finally acquiesces. He picks up a key and puts it through the slot.
Scott examines the small piece of metal that came through the hole. "Staci? Really? Who even cares about HER?" Scott moves to the door and inserts the key. "Well, whaddaya know, it works."
Outside of the challenge, Chris makes an aside to Chef, unheard by any of the contestants. "All the keys worked. I just wanted to mess with Rodney's head." Chef chuckles.
Rodney is eager to move the subject away from his romantic woes. "Now…you do yours!"
Scott ponders the keys in front of him, as well as his position in the game as a whole. "You better not tell anyone about this…" He grabs a key and puts it through the slot.
Rodney looks at what Scott has given him. "Scarlett?" He says in disbelief.
"Shut it!" Scott snaps. "What did I just say about not telling anyone?"
Rodney tries the key. It works.
SCOTT CONFESSIONAL: I'm sure all the viewers at home are wondering why I didn't throw that challenge. You see, I was thinking about my standing within the team. If we lose, who is the team going to be more than happy to blame because he took too long to answer? That's right, ME. Now that people like Topher are stepping up their game and actually becoming useful, I can't rely on the sheer in-com-pe-tence of my other team-mates to shield me from being targeted. Now all I have to do is find some way to give Rodney the heave-ho before he tells anyone else. You see, I got to play it safe, don't put a target on my back… this is a strategy I thought up all by myself. 'Cuz I'm smart.
SCARLETT CONFESSIONAL: Before you ask, yes, I told him to lay low and yes, I did have to teach him what "incompetence" meant. And how to pronounce it.
Ella finally admits her answer. "Well, I cannot tell a lie. So it is true that I divulged in private that… I do not care for this particular person's abrasive behavior." She puts a key through the slot.
Cameron picks it up and reads the name off. "Jo? That's understandable," Cameron acknowledges as he puts the key in the lock and unlocks his door. "I doubt Jo cares anyway." The door opens and Jo is standing right behind it.
"Doubt I care about WHAT?" Jo asks combatively.
Cameron attempts to save face for Ella by confessing his own secret. "Uh… doubt you care that I sleep with a stuffed animal?"
"Are you kidding?" Jo snorts in laughter. "That's hilarious." Cameron grimaces and hands the baton over.
On the other side, Ella hands her baton to Brick. "Good luck, Brick," Ella simpers.
"Luck has nothin' to do with it!" Brick declares. "It's about skill and… following orders!" His confidence falters, remembering the previous challenge. "But sometimes the orders are confusing, and seem wrong! In that case… I…thank you ma'am." Brick attempts to close the conversation completely before he can confuse himself further.
"What's the word, jarhead?" Jo says, directing her voice toward the wall that Brick is on the other side of.
Brick takes the clue. "Which person on the island does Jo admire the most?"
Jo is taken by surprise. "I… what?"
"Which cast member do you admire the most? That's what it says."
"I don't… Why would I admire anyone here? Get real." Jo dismisses the question and takes the clue from her door. "What's this gonna be, 'how many times has Brick peed his pants since getting here?'" Jo looks at the card. "How many times has Brick peed his pants since getting here? Nailed it!"
"Look, it's only happened once, alright? Why do you keep bringing this up?"
"Because it's funny. And there is no way that it only happened once."
"Why can't you give me the benefit of the doubt for one second?"
On the other team, Dawn and Scarlett address their questions. Dawn reads hers out loud. "In her notebook, who did Scarlett call… 'delusional and asinine'?"
"You," Scarlett answers quickly, without hesitation. She puts the key marked 'Dawn' through the slot.
"Me? What did I…" Dawn stammers in disbelief.
"Why are you surprised? I've already implied I don't care for your half-baked metaphysical gibberish."
"But why be so upfront about it?"
"I do not wish to continue this conversation."
"This does not signal good team cohesion. How can we live in harmony when you hold this bitterness?"
"We seem to be doing just fine as a team. I told you my answer without hesitation. This challenge is dependent on speed. There is no problem here other than petty feelings." Scarlett takes the clue from her door. "Who did Dawn call 'cold, unfeeling, and unnatural'?" Scarlett pauses briefly. "This is me, isn't it?"
"I…yes…" Dawn begrudgingly selects the 'Scarlett' key and puts it through the slot.
DAWN CONFESSIONAL: Scarlett is one of the only people I've run across with a truly cryptic, incomprehensible psyche. I knew she was a bit cold, but this almost feels unnatural! No one else on the team seems to see it. I don't want to start hurling accusations at fellow team members, but there's a noticeable difference between someone who's quiet because they're shy and insecure, and someone who's quiet because they simply find no value in expressing any sort of emotion or connection. And Scarlett crosses that line!
SCARLETT CONFESSIONAL: My strategy was to lay low but irritating people like Dawn make that too difficult. Pseudoscience is my weak point.
Dawn and Scarlett open their doors and pass on their batons to Sam and Jasmine. Meanwhile, Brick and Jo are still at a standstill.
"First you caused me to lose yesterday's challenge, and now you're doing it again!" Brick accuses.
"Hey, you're the one that can't admit you're still not housebroken!"
"I put my answer through the slot! It was ONE time! Just try it, you'll see!"
"I'd prefer not to get electroconvulsive therapy," Jo says.
"You just don't want to admit you're wrong," Brick argues. "You told me 'team before pride.' What happened to that?"
"Ahhh... fine," Jo finally concedes. "But if this doesn't work…" Jo tries the key. It works.
"See?" Brick says.
"ONE TIME is still pretty bad. That's one more time than everyone else here. Except maybe Cameron."
JO CONFESSIONAL: I hate to say it… but when he's got a point, he's got a point. But only because he's quoting ME! He wouldn't have come up with that if I hadn't said it in the first place.
"You still need to give me your answer," Brick reminds Jo.
"I know, I know," Jo replies. "Here." She puts a key through the slot.
"Chef?" Brick reads the name off the key in confusion.
"Well, I certainly don't admire any of the other contestants!" Jo retorts.
Chef glances over at Chris. "I told you. They respect me here," he admits proudly.
"For the last time, Chef, the budget can't afford a raise," Chris quickly susses out Chef's hidden meaning. "We spent too much money trying to make this island even semi-habitable."
Chef grimaces, knowing that Chris is more than willing to spend extra money on comfort and vanity products for himself.
Jo and Brick pass their batons to Mike and Zoey. "Well, I guess we're up!" Zoey chirps.
"Haha, guess so!" Mike confirms. In the back of his mind, he's worried about what the challenge could potentially reveal about him. "Uh- I'll read yours first!" He jumps at the opportunity to delay his question as long as possible.
"Um, okay…" Zoey adjusts, as she suddenly feels like she's put in the spotlight.
Mike picks up the card. "Which Mutant Maggot did Zoey warn Sky that 'he's completely unpredictable, he'll freak out over nothing'?" Mike hesitates nervously, tripping over his words. "Guh…-uh-um, that's not me, is it?"
"No, of course not!" Zoey assuages. "That was Dave." Zoey picks up the key. "Why… did you think that would be you?"
"No reason! Uh, just- yeah, no reason at all. Just joking," Mike stammers before forcing a fake chuckle.
On the Toxic Rats' side, Sam and Jasmine address their leg of the challenge.
"Alright, let's get cracking!" Sam says enthusiastically as he grabs his clue. "When talking to Shawn, which one of the following people did Jasmine NOT name as among the Toxic Rats' weakest members?" Sam's enthusiasm immediately drops, as does his facial expression. "Wait, what?"
"No, it was just… casual!" Jasmine quickly jumps to the defensive. "I didn't mean it like, sabotage!"
"But Shawn's on the other team," Sam points out the obvious.
"I know, I was just…just get it over with. Just read the options," Jasmine says, ashamed and discouraged.
"Amy, Rodney, Lightning, Topher, Scott, Dawn and… me," Sam wavers at the last option, hoping Jasmine hasn't been denigrating him behind his back - especially to the opposite team.
"Uh, you! Yeah, you," Jasmine responds quickly.
"Phew," Sam sighs in relief. But before he can put the key through the slot, Jasmine stops him.
"Wait, no. It was Dawn."
"Uh…"
"Dawn! It was Dawn! Just put the key through!" Jasmine's embarrassment shifts to irritability.
"Alright, you don't have to rub it in, jeez," Sam frowns, and puts his own name through the slot.
Jasmine tries to cool her head. "Why did Sam get in trouble with Chef?" Jasmine reads.
Sam looks at his options. "Uh… because I tried to take extra food once?" Sam puts the corresponding key through the door.
"Oh, come on," Jasmine grumbles. "You don't expect me to believe anyone would actually WANT Chef's food, do you?"
"Uh… yea?" Sam defends lamely.
"If you don't want me to think you're a burden on the team, give me the right answer!" Jasmine snaps, her temper really beginning to flare.
"Well maybe if you quit yelling at me, I might be more willing to cooperate!"
"Well maybe I don't want to get an electric shock from the door because my teammate is too scared to tell the truth!"
"I'm not scared!"
"Prove it, then! Answer the question!"
"I'll do it!"
"Then do it!"
"CHEF YELLED AT ME FOR STORING MY UNDERWEAR IN HIS FREEZER!"
Sam yells his answer loud enough that everybody can hear his peculiar confession. The entire campground falls dead quiet. A couple snickers finally break the silence.
"Uh…" Jasmine doesn't entirely know how to react.
"It… keeps them cool. It's more comfortable when… oh, forget it," Sam defeatedly puts his key through the slot. Jasmine takes it and feels a bit ashamed causing Sam to debase himself.
JASMINE CONFESSIONAL: That could not have possibly gone worse. Not only did Sam find out that I'm talking negatively about him to Shawn, but now he probably hates me! What's going to stop him from telling everybody that I've been ragging on our team? He already tattled on Topher!
Mike and Zoey try to wrap up their round quickly. "Okay Mike," Zoey takes the card from her side. "Mike injured his index finger a couple days after arriving." Zoey pauses to give an aside. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mike. Are you okay?"
"It's fine… it wasn't even a fracture. Just kind of a… bruise."
Zoey continues reading. "How did he do this?"
"I don't know, I just kind of… hit it the wrong way, I guess." Mike looks down at the keys. One is marked vaguely, as 'accidentally struck against hard surface.' One next to it is marked more specifically; 'punched a tree.' Mike's hand drifts over the 'accidentally' one before switching at the last second to 'punched a tree.' He winces as he puts it through the slot.
Zoey picks it up and stares at it for a bit before she chuckles. "Punched a tree? Why? Did you think you were in Minecraft or something?"
Mike is relieved that Zoey doesn't seem particularly off-put by the strange response. "Ha, yeah, I guess so!"
MIKE CONFESSIONAL: Ok, what really happened was I took a walk in the woods to try and blow off some steam. At home, I have a punching bag in my basement that I used to let off some stress. But I don't have that here! So I tried using a tree. It's very embarrassing. I was going to answer with the 'accidentally struck against hard surface' key but I figured that wasn't specific enough. I didn't want to cause Zoey to get an electric shock from the door. At least Zoey didn't think my answer was weird!
ZOEY CONFESSIONAL: Okay, I know Mike has some weird ways of… acting out. But if only he'd stop trying to hide it I might be able to help! I just made that joke about the tree because I didn't want him to feel embarrassed. Because if he's ashamed of it, it will only make it worse! I think. I don't know. I sure wish Dawn was on our team.
"Both teams have gotten to the last two pairs; Dave and Sky for the Maggots and Amy and Samantha for the Rats!" Chris announces, ratcheting up the tension.
"Alright, Dave and Sky, the dream team!" Dave proclaims. "Me and my partner Sky," he underlines, making Sky feel even more uncomfortable.
"Let's just do this quickly… we want to win!" Sky uses the speed element of the challenge as an excuse to reduce any interaction with Dave. She picks up her clue. "Uh…"
"What's it say?" Dave asks.
"What was Dave doing last night?"
Dave begins to sweat slightly and plasters on a fake smile, a thin veneer of confidence. "Uh, sleeping, I guess. Weird question. Weird." Dave glances at his door. "Uh… hold on, I still have to read this one." He takes the clue. "What does Sky think of Dave?"
DAVE CONFESSIONAL: Yes! This could not have gone more perfectly. This question is obviously about a crush. Now Sky will be forced to admit she likes me. Ok, sure, maybe I have to admit I was spying on her last night, but if she likes me, she'll just think that's cute or mysterious or something. Probably.
SKY CONFESSIONAL: At this point, I was weighing my options. How bad do I REALLY want that million dollars? I mean, really. Is it worth it?
On Samantha and Amy's side, Samantha hopes to finally bury the hatchet with her sister - but the challenge has other plans.
"What did SAMEY…" Amy deliberately says 'Samey' instead of 'Sammy' or 'Samantha.' "...learn about Amy while speaking to Dawn?" Amy immediately snaps to the defensive. "Why were you GOSSIPING about me? And what does DAWN know about ME?"
Samantha winges.
SAMANTHA CONFESSIONAL: At the end of our conversation, Dawn told me to remember that Amy was actually "insecure." But if I call her that, she'll only get even madder! I don't know if I have much choice, though…
AMY CONFESSIONAL: What dirt could that witch even scrounge up about me? SAMEY is the one with all the problems! Samey's a bowl of mush, and I'm a parfait, which is German for perfect.
"Insecure," Samantha rips the metaphorical Band-Aid off. "She called you insecure. And I agreed."
Amy tries to play it cool in order to undermine Samantha and Dawn's accusation. "Pfft. Yeah. Sure. Like I care what you two think. Doesn't mean it's true. Just give me the key."
"Wait," Samantha commands, with a surprising amount of authority in her voice. "You need to answer YOUR question. I'll read it."
"Samey, just give me the stupid key!"
"We both need to answer our questions in order to win," Samantha argues plainly. She takes the clue. "Why did Amy join cheerleading?"
"Because I'm good at it. Simple." Amy takes the key labeled as such and gives it to Samantha.
"And you're sure this is the correct answer?" Samantha presses.
"Ugh, don't try to prove I'm 'insecure' or something by questioning me about everything now. Use it," Amy snaps.
Samantha attempts to use the key. It doesn't work and she gets a shock from the door handle. "Ow!"
"Ha! Why did you believe me?" Amy laughs.
"Because I thought you wanted to win the challenge," Samantha replies with frustration and contempt, but also faint satisfaction. Not only is Amy going to blow this challenge for the team, but by doing so, Samantha will finally have the upper hand on her sister. "And I thought you wouldn't lie to cover up something you don't want to admit!"
"I have nothing to hide," Amy states bluntly.
"Then answer the question."
"I'll think about it," Amy says smugly. Samantha rolls her eyes.
The scene cuts back to Dave and Sky. Sky seems hesitant while Dave waits expectantly for her revelation.
"Dave…" Sky finally speaks.
"Yes?" Dave grins.
"Do you want to win the challenge?"
"Uh… yeah, of course. Do you?"
"Then don't take this the wrong way." Sky takes a key and timidly pushes it through the slot, as if she were poking a sleeping bear.
Dave eagerly takes the key. "I knew it! I…" Dave's face drops. "...What does this mean?"
"Dave, just use the key."
"Off-putting and uncomfortable?" Dave reads off the key.
"Dave. Use the key."
"But… that's not possible…"
"Dave, I know what you were doing last night, too. I saw you outside my window. So just make this easier for both of us and complete the challenge."
"That wasn't me," Dave flatly denies, before immediately conceding. "Is that the problem here? I was just… taking a walk."
"Dave. We are the last pair. Just use your key and give me mine."
"I… I… wait…"
"DAVE!" Focus!"
"Look, here," Samantha says. She puts her key through the slot. "This is my truth. Tell me yours."
Amy takes the key. "Well, why should I? You just gave me the key!" Amy uses the key on her door, which opens.
"Amy, we BOTH need to unlock our doors to win!" Samantha cries.
"Your sister's right, Amy," Chris confirms, waiting outside the room. "Get back in there and answer your sister's question. Or don't. I don't care if you lose."
"Ugh! Why does this have to be so complicated?" Amy complains.
Meanwhile, Dave is absolutely penitent. "I'm sorry for being a creep," Dave apologizes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I-"
"That's great, Dave. Just give me the KEY," Sky tries to emphasize the importance of the matter at hand.
"I…" Dave falters. "...Okay." He takes the key labeled 'spied on Sky' and puts it through the slot.
Sky takes the key. "Why is it wet?"
"That's my sweat."
"Ew. Okay. I wish I didn't ask." Sky puts the key into her door, and it opens. Dave unenthusiastically follows suit.
Chris greets them with his performative enthusiasm. "The Maggots WIN THE CHALLENGE!"
"Why am I alive?" Dave mourns, a stark contrast to Chris' liveliness.
"SAMEY!" Amy barks. "You screwed it up! You're the only one not out of your room!"
"That's not my fault," Samantha replies, trying to stay calm. "You were in charge of the key. This is on you."
"There you go again, blaming it on me," Amy accuses. "And I'm insecure? What a joke!"
"Then why couldn't you admit you joined cheerleading because you wanted to be better than me?" Samantha demands. "Because you were so afraid of the idea that I could have a talent that you don't!"
"Because it's not true!" Amy defends. Most of the other campers were arriving at the finish line, witnessing the argument.
Samantha lowers her tone again. "You joined cheerleading because I was getting praised for it. You were afraid that you were being ignored. You were afraid. You were used to being the popular one. You were afraid that your popularity was only skin-deep, that someone who looks just like you would usurp your role."
"Just like Golyadkin!" Cameron interrupts.
Amy is caught off guard. "Who?"
"You know… from Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel 'The Double.' It's a classic story of identity and-"
"Quit trying to sound smarter than me! I mean - smarter than everyone!" Amy jabs.
"Listen to yourself!" Samantha pounces on Amy's remark. "You attack anyone that makes you feel insecure about your abilities! Anyone that makes you feel not as smart, or as talented, or as likable, or anything!"
"No… you're attacking me!"
"Honestly, I just feel sorry for you at this point," Samantha finally concludes. "You are clearly full of worry and distress. And it controls you. But it's not you."
Dawn smiles. Samantha seems to be understanding her philosophy.
Amy struggles to come up with a response. "I…I can't…"
"Well!" Chris interrupts. "Sorry to interrupt this episode of Dr. Phil, but we've got a show to run. I'll see the Rats at elimination tonight." Chris pauses. "And I'm sure a lot of you have some… thoughts about today's challenge. Feel free to let loose in the confessionals. Really dig into your psyche. It makes great TV."
RODNEY CONFESSIONAL: Sometimes I wish I was a raccoon.
DAWN CONFESSIONAL: I am so proud of Samantha for trying to understand her sister's inner turmoil. I'd like to help Scarlett, too, as she clearly is taken by some negative spirit. But she is so unflinching and… detached. I can't get a read on what's going on in her soul.
SCOTT CONFESSIONAL: Dumb challenge. Gotta get rid of Rodney now though. He knows too much. Good thing we lost, maybe I can even get him out tonight.
SAM CONFESSIONAL: Apparently Jasmine thinks I'm useless, so that's new… also, she's been telling Shawn about our team. I feel like I should tell the rest of the team - but I don't want to be known as the tattle-tale… guy. I already told Chris about Topher. I knew I wasn't at the top of the Toxic Rats totem pole, but I'm beginning to get the sense that I'm… unpopular. Just unlucky, I guess. Bad RNG, man!
SKY CONFESSIONAL: I'd like to say this will mean Dave stops bothering me. I'd LIKE to say that. But I get the sense that he's only going to become more desperate to prove himself. This is NOT what I wanted to deal with when I came on the show!
Some of the Toxic Rats - Scott, Jasmine, Topher, Lightning, and Samantha - are mingling around the dock before the campfire ceremony. Rodney is not among them, so Scott seizes on the opportunity. "Did I tell you guys about what Rodney said to me in the challenge?"
Heads turn around. "No, what?" Topher asks.
"His secret was that he hasn't been trying at the challenges," Scott lies. "Ever since Staci got out, Rodney's been kind of down so he's been trying to get himself out."
"Sha-what?" Lightning exclaims. "Why would anyone like that girl?" He decides to focus on the less relevant revelation.
"That's not my point," Scott clarifies. "My point is that he's dragging us down. Vote him out now and we won't have to deal with him anymore. He WANTS to leave."
"We were thinking of voting for Amy," Jasmine countered. "She cost us the challenge today, and she's been unhelpful in the past. At least Rodney is relatively amicable. Amy's just unpleasant to keep around."
"Is that you talking or Amy Junior?" Scott motions to Samantha, indicating Jasmine's friendship with Samantha could be influencing her choice. "Vote with your brain."
"Rodney's a little stupid… well, maybe more than a little…" Topher starts. "...but unlike Amy, he's a decent guy. Kind of. Maybe if we just tell him to get his head back in the game, he'll listen."
"No, don't tell him!" Scott exclaims, worried his lie will be exposed. "...I don't want him to know I told his secret. Plus, he'll deny it."
"Trust me, I can let him know tactfully, without revealing anything incriminating," Topher placates. "I have considerable training in how to be likable." The others roll their eyes.
"I'm telling you, he won't listen to reason. Just let him go, he doesn't want to be here!" Scott argues.
"I haven't actually SEEN Rodney putting in any less effort than the rest of us," Jasmine points out. "But everyone can attest to Amy being a burden on the team."
"I heard it with my own two ears. Rodney doesn't want to play anymore," Scott states with finality. "He's GOT TO GO. NOW."
The campfire ceremony begins. The Toxic Rats weigh the many possible ways it could go. Jasmine hopes Amy will get the boot - she worries that Amy is too cruel to the other campers, especially Samantha. But Jasmine also wouldn't mind getting Sam out of her hair… she worries that he could still carry a grudge over the day's challenge. Meanwhile, Scott is banking on Rodney to get the boot, as he doesn't want Rodney telling everyone that Scott has been hanging out with Scarlett a lot. Sam thinks that his team hates him. Lightning thinks about winning the Super Bowl.
"Alright campers!" Chris greets the 10 Toxic Rats at risk of elimination. "A lot of open wounds today. A lot of beef. Love it. You guys are great at being terrible to each other." Some Rats grimace while others avert their gaze. "As per usual, those who are safe, get a marshmallow. A regular, sugary white one. The camper who has been voted off will receive a toxic marshmallow. Presented today by our intern Dakota." Dakota emerges from the evening, hesitantly holding the metal briefcase that contains the toxic marshmallow. She is not wearing any protective suit.
"Yo, Dakota!" Sam waves.
"Hey… guy…" Dakota blanks on Sam's name. She turns her attention to Chris. "Are you sure this is safe?"
"Nope!" Chris cheerfully remarks and immediately moves on. "The following campers are safe. Topher." Chris tosses a marshmallow to his fan. "Jasmine, Lightning, Dawn, and Scarlett." The four named also receive a token of safety. Scott, Sam, Samantha, Amy, and Rodney remain without a marshmallow.
Chris eyes up the bottom five. "Next safe is… Samantha."
Samantha catches her marshmallow. "It feels good to finally be called by my actual name!" Samantha waits for Amy to make an irate remark but no such thing comes. Amy seems genuinely concerned about how this vote could go.
"Scott, you also get to stay another day," Chris says. "As does… Sam." Both receive a marshmallow, while Rodney and Amy are exposed as the bottom two.
"Amy. Rodney," Chris draws attention to their vulnerable state. "Bet you're feeling the nerves now, huh?"
"What did I even do?" Rodney seems baffled.
"Not my problem. I'm just the messenger," Chris remarks. He pauses to milk the tension. "The final marshmallow goes to…"
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…Rodney."
"That was a close one!" Rodney sighs in relief.
"Dakota! The toxic marshmallow!" Chris demands.
"I don't want to touch it, it's gross!" Dakota cries. Dakota decides to take the entire closed briefcase and drop it at Amy's feet. "...here."
Amy gets up. She looks like she's about to spew some anger, probably at her sister. "What kind of-" Amy stops. "I can't-" She stops again.
"Care to elaborate?" Chris says slyly.
"I… have nothing to say. Other than this; I am sorry."
The camp goes silent. For the first time in the entire competition, Amy has shown a shred of compassion.
"This is just like the play 'The Browning Version,'" Scarlett whispers, barely audible, to Jasmine, who does not know the theatrical monologue Scarlett is referring to.
Amy finally speaks. "Samey… Sammy… Samantha… whatever. You're right. I am the worse twin."
"No, that's not what I meant!" Samantha mollifies. "It's not about who is better or who is worse. It's about… mutual respect."
Amy admits the answer to the challenge. "I DID join the cheerleading team because I was afraid that you were outshining me. But I guess it was never a competition to begin with."
"Wrong!" Chris interrupts. "It IS a competition and YOU LOST! You've got a boat to catch!"
"Excuse me, I'm trying to have a moment!" Amy snips, her contemptuous tendencies showing again.
"Someone get her out of here!" Chris commands. A couple interns emerge from the set and usher Amy away from the campfire.
Amy arrives at the dock, where Chef is waiting with the hose. "Don't you dare," Amy threatens, absolutely not in the mood to get soaked by a stream of water. Chef stands motionless. It looks like he's actually not going to do anything. Then, of course, Chef turns on the hose anyway and blasts Amy with it. He chuckles.
Chris steps in front of the camera as the boat takes Amy, the eighth camper voted off the show, away. "Yikes. I don't know what happened there. After all that anger and turmoil from the challenge we get FORGIVENESS and KINDNESS? Ew… Trust me, I'll try my best to prevent that from happening again. Wanna see how? Tune in right here next time, on TOTAL! DRAMA! REVENGE OF THE ISLAND!"
NOTES:
Long delay on this one, my bad.
This is in part due to it being a difficult one to write - not because of the Amy/Samantha resolution, that was surprisingly easy to write. But because the challenge was really difficult to write. It took me way too long to come up with an idea and when I finally did I was worried it was too complicated. Then I had to come up with individual questions tailored to every contestant. It hit writer's block many times when trying to think of question ideas.
Among the ingredients in Chris' request to Chef include…
diphenhydramine - You probably know this chemical by the brand name Benadryl -
bismuth subsalicylate - pepto bismol, the sweet, pink fluid you may drink for an upset stomach-
and polonium - an extremely radioactive chemical element famously discovered in 1898 by Marie and Pierre Curie, named after Marie's homeland of Poland.
Though associated with France due to her marriage with Pierre Curie, Marie Curie was born and raised in Poland - her birth name is Maria Skłodowska.
More trivia - it was, and still is, common for Polish people to immigrate to France. Other famous "French" figures who you may not know came from Poland include Frédéric Chopin (born there), Raymond Kopa, and Juliette Binoche (parents born there). Famous "British" writer Joseph Conrad was also born and raised in Poland. I don't know what you can do with this information, I just find it interesting!
As far as I can remember, while his problems with urination have been mentioned multiple times, Brick really HAS peed his pants only once in this fanfiction - in the previous episode, Finders Creepers. When he falls in the grave. Near the end of the episode Scott points out that he can "smell pee" when near Brick, and I assumed this was the same pee from Brick's fall earlier. But this is getting way too weird to talk about so let's move on!
At one point, Samantha says "This is my truth. Tell me yours." This is a reference to the Manic Street Preachers' hit album "This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours." The album title comes from a quote from Welsh politician Aneurin Bevan, known for creating the National Health Service in the UK.
At one point, Scott says "Is that you talking or Amy Junior?" This is a riff off of a line from Breaking Bad where Saul asks "Is that you talking or Yoko Ono?" Yoko Ono was John Lennon's wife, who was accused of influencing John Lennon to leave the Beatles. Saul is using it as a metaphor/joke for someone who is being influenced by someone else to walk away from a good thing.
At the campfire ceremony, Scarlett compares Amy's contrition to 'The Browning Version,' a 1948 Terence Rattigan play (and 1951 movie starring Michael Redgrave) where a longtime professor (Crocker-Harris) at a boys school is retiring and comes to the realization that nobody liked him there - he was too mean and strict, and everyone will be glad to see him gone. At his retirement ceremony, the previously stone-faced Crocker-Harris gives a speech on the verge of tears (movingly performed by Redgrave in the film) apologizing for his failures as a teacher. I was using this scene as a kind of reference for Amy's apology at the campfire, so I figured I'd throw in a little name-drop by someone who might actually know the play (Scarlett). Amy's like "I… have nothing to say. Other than this; I am sorry." is very similar to Crocker-Harris's " I find now that I have nothing to say, or rather I have three very small words, but they are most deeply felt. They are these: I am sorry." If you're interested in acting or dramatic theater/performance, I recommend giving this film, or at least this scene, a look - Rattigan's writing and Redgrave's acting come together brilliantly: .