AN: Hey guys, I'm back! I'm so, so sorry this chapter took so long! Real life got in the way, and then my brain got stuck on a bunch of other stories. Some of which I started writing (*ahem* check out Defying Gravity - Captain America if you're interested) and others just wouldn't leave me alone (Grrr, Daredevil - so many ideas...none of which are on paper). And I'm really sorry it took this long, but maybe the fact that this chapter is nearly 10,000 words long makes up for it? I was going to split it into two, but there wasn't really a clear break so I left it as is!

I wanted to send out a huge thank you to everyone for reviewed, followed and favourited this story. I'm blown away by how many people are enjoying this! So thank you! thank you! thank you! This chapter is dedicated to YOU (Carrera, sophiewhettingsteel, wedontkilltheliving, Bee-back, narelclollie (!), tumblrandmemories, TSCxHG, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x (!), Noor, kethelin, Give me my love, and sagge (!). You guys are incredible!

Thanks to my beta Dannylionthe1st for all her help! I couldn't have done this without her!

Enjoy!

Fun fact: this chapter should put this story over 100,000 words! O.o

Chapter 19

"In peace, may you leave this shore.
In love, may you find the next.
Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground.

May we meet again."

-The Traveler's Blessing

The burning behind her eyes had long since faded into a dull, tired ache. Her body unable to produce any more tears even as she watched Wells slowly disappeared beneath each shovelful of dirt, further cementing the fact that he was gone.

He was dead. He wasn't coming back.

The thoughts seemed to turn over and over in her head. How had it only been the night before that she'd seen him alive and well? Hadn't they smiled and teased one another, thinking that things were only going to get better from now on?

Something clenched painfully in her chest, momentarily shattering the hollowness that had taken over when she first laid eyes on him hours beforehand.

If only she'd stayed with him. She should have been there for him when he needed her the most. But no, she been tired. So she'd left him on his own at the edge of camp, knowing that the area around them was dangerous.

Now he was dead.

Gritting her teeth, her fists clenched tightly at her sides as a wave of self-loathing washed through her.

She wasn't sure how long she stood in front of his grave, now the fourth in the row of their dead. She felt disconnected. Numb to the world. Those that had shown up to pay their respects blurred around her, their words sounding far off, like they were standing on the other end of a long corridor. She could hear them talk, but she couldn't make out the words being said. She was sure someone recited the Traveler's Blessing, and then those who'd shown up slowly began drifting away until only a few remained.

Movement on the other side of the freshly covered grave caught her attention, and she forced her tired eyes to look up, only to land on Clarke. The blonde girl clutched Finn's arm as if her life depended on it, her eyes red and puffy, her face wet with tears. Alex could only watch how Finn held her tightly in response to her distress, whispering words of comfort into her ear.

Alex was unprepared for the unexpected feeling of annoyance that welled up inside her. Here was Clarke acting as if Wells meant the world to her, gaining sympathy she didn't deserve. She'd treated him poorly, ignoring him, told him she hated him and that he meant nothing to her. She'd been treating him like shit from the moment they'd landed. And here she was, crying as if they'd been as close as ever.

'No,' she forced the feeling back, knowing she was wrong about Clarke. 'They'd finally began sorting their shit out. They were talking again; things were getting better between them. She has just as much a right to cry over him as you do...Maybe even more. They were friends long before you came along.'

'He was alive until you came along,' a cynical voice added, and her breath caught in her throat before she could shove the thought down, down, down, where she could ignore the painful truth behind it.

For a moment, she allowed her eyes to slide closed, taking a deep breath before opening them again, finally taking note of the few who were still standing nearby. Besides herself and Clarke, there were others who lingered. Monty stood awkwardly behind Clarke and Finn, wringing his hands tightly, eyes darting back to the dropship where Jasper still lay, clearly showing where he'd rather be. To his left, Harper stood silently, eyes red as she stared down at the grave, Jemma clutching her hand tightly. The younger girl looked uncertain, afraid, like she didn't know what to make of the situation.

Alex couldn't bring herself to care that Charlotte was nowhere in sight.

There were a few others who lingered around the edge of the clearing, some looking awkward, but at least making an effort to show up and pay their respects. A couple of the younger teens, who Alex vaguely recalled as Sterling, Monroe and Diggs, peered down from around the side of a tree. Even Octavia and Roma made passing appearances, pausing at the edge before turning back the way they'd come.

Sadness washed over her when her gaze landed on Nate, who stood towards the back of the crowd. As if sensing her stare, he glanced up and met her eyes, his expression somber. Although he watched her, he made no move towards her, no sign of offering her any form of comfort. The only movement he made was fidgeting with his beanie, which he held between his fingers, tugging at the loose threads. Nothing changed in his expression as he eyed her, but Alex couldn't help remember how he'd tried to protector her from seeing Wells' body, to shield her from seeing her friend in such a state. He'd been her friend for years... they'd grown up together. He'd seen her at her best...and at her worst. They'd shared laughs and tears. They'd slept over at each other's houses and pulled pranks on Liam when he didn't keep a wary eye out. They'd spent hours in a ViewBay, dreaming of adventures they share on Earth.

The three of them had been inseparable. The Terrible Trio. Then things had gone so, so wrong.

Maybe if she tried again to explain to him that she hadn't hurt Liam. That the whole thing was a terrible mistake, he would hear her out. Maybe they could work on going back to the way things were.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Those thoughts were dashed away when his eyes hardened and he turned away, the action furthering cementing the ache in her chest.

...Maybe Liam had been the only thing holding them together, and without him here they had nothing between them. Maybe whatever they'd had was too broken to be repaired.

It hurt her more than she'd thought it would as she realized that her best friend was gone.

Liam, Nate, Wells... that's your curse. Poor Alex, doomed to be alone. After all, why would anyone want to be your friend when they always end up getting hurt? Or worse?

Her fists clenched at the thought, fingernails digging painfully into her palms.

A hand rested on her shoulder, snapping her out of her thoughts. She tensed, annoyance and despair battling through her. How could she deserve comfort when she seemed to be the cause of it all? Turning her head, she was startled to meet Bellamy's brown eyes and it took all her strength not to let it show on her face. She couldn't read his expression, which was unusually blank... Or was it calculating? Then, even as she watched, his expression softened and her throat clenching painfully in response.

For a second she was completely overwhelmed with emotion, and her sight blurred, breath catching in her chest. Turning away from him so he wouldn't see the anguish on her face, she closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath, followed by another, until the pounding of her heart returned to a normal level, and the pain in her chest subsided into something manageable. Something she could shove back and add it to the pile of things she couldn't deal with right now. Wouldn't deal with right now.

Seeing her reaction, he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, before dropping his hand to his side and turning away. No words passed between them, but it brought her a slight sense of comfort. She watched him move away out of the corner of her eye, following the footsteps of some of the other delinquents as they began heading back towards the dropship, leaving only Alex, Clarke and a few others to stand in silence.

Eventually even an exhausted looking Clarke was guided away by Finn, who kept her tightly pressed to his side, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as they went, Clarke's sniffles filling the air until she could no longer hear them.

Then she was alone.

Alone with her thoughts. Her head filled with questions that she had no way to answer.

Why didn't he call for help? Fight back? How had nobody heard anything?

...Why did I leave him alone?

Self loathing spiked through her like a hot wire before dissipating entirely, leaving only a heavy weight around her shoulders and a hollow feeling in her chest, with the knowledge that if she'd stayed with her friend the night before, he would still be alive.

The grave in front of her blurred, and she let her eyes slide closed, willing away the burn of tears.

"God, Wells, I'm sorry," she choked out around the lump in her throat, pressing her hands to her mouth. "I'm so, so sorry."

Saying you're sorry isn't going to bring him back. Her mind told her. It didn't help Liam, and it certainly didn't help Wells. Now get up, stop snivelling and get to work.

She took a deep breath, then another, forcing back the overwhelming emotions until only a bone-weary tiredness remained.

With one last look at the fresh mound of soil that now covered Wells, Alex forced herself to turn away.

There was nothing she could do for Wells now.

The next few days passed in a blur.

Alex did everything she could to keep herself busy, to keep her mind occupied, ignoring everyone and everything around her in the process. She hunted for meat, picked berries and gathered wood, hoping to work herself to the point of exhaustion, so that when she finally allowed herself drop onto her self-made mattress, she could only pray that her mind was too worn out to be plagued by nightmares.

But her weariness did little to help, and her dreams were often plagued by dark, menacing figures. Some she recognized from long ago, others were fresher. Newer. And although none of them ever said a word, accusation and betrayal and regret sat upon their faces as they stared down at her cowering form. Their accusations were clear, like a cold knife in her chest. She had done this to them. She had hurt them...she had killed them.

So she did her best to keep busy, hoping her bone-tired body would keep them away.

The atmosphere around camp had changed completely in a matter of days. The high that had come from being on the ground, living on Earth, had completely dissipated, replaced instead by a fear for their survival. They had been on there for eight days - eight days - and already there were four people dead, six, if they counted Trina and Pascal, who hadn't been heard from since shortly after they'd landed.

The delinquents were understandably scared. Would more of them be dead in another five days? How were they going to continue surviving if they were dropping like flies? It felt like everyday they were discovering something else that could easily kill them. How were they going to survive when they were surrounded by a new, dangerous world and had no way of escaping it?

The groups worry and fear had taken the form of low whispers and wary glances. Guard duty had gone from being a nightly endeavor, to full time day rotations. No one was to go out of camp on their own, and everyone was encouraged to walk with at least two others at all times. With the revelation that the Grounders were out there and were more than willing to come to camp to kill one of their own had the delinquents realizing how truly defenceless they really were. When would the Grounders come back? Would they come back? How could they stop something inevitable like that? They had nothing. No weapons. No defenses.

Bellamy was quick to the opportunity and make the most of the situation, using the delinquents fears to his advantage. He was divided up the delinquents into different groups, assigning them various responsibilities. Some would gather food and fill water containers. The rest would begin gathering logs. His planning was calculated and efficient. And if Alex had had the energy to care, she would have probably been impressed.

The wall that they'd been slowly working on for the past couple of days was now the group's number one priority. They had to get it done as quickly as possible.

The sooner it's up, the sooner we have something to hide behind. Alex had thought bitterly.

Saws made of serrated metal - pieces broken off from the dropship - were handed out, and Alex was quick to grab one of her own before taking off into the forest, moving away from the mass of teenagers who spread out looking for suitable looking trees for the wall. She knew it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, that she should keep close to the others, where there were safety in numbers and someone would always be around to watch her back. But she didn't care. Not right now.

She needed space. She wanted to be alone.

When she was far enough from the group so that she could only hear the distant chatter from the dropship, she began looking around, her gaze flickering from tree to tree, intent on keeping her mind busy, her hands busy. The tree she was looking for needed to be big enough to be useful, yet small enough that she could drag it back to the drop ship on her own. Grey eyes landing on a midsized tree a few strides away from where she was standing, she knew she'd found it.

Adjusting the sharp strip of metal in hand, Alex narrowed her eyes, gritting her teeth and set to work.

Over the next couple of hours Alex managed to cut down a few trees, before slowly dragging them back to the edge of camp on her own, handing them off to those putting the pieces of the wall together, then darting back off into the forest. Each one left her panting for breath, unused to the activity, and the ache of her muscles distracted her, giving her something else to focus on. She pointedly ignored the stinging blisters that were slowly blooming across the heel of her palm.

The pain as the bark dug into the tender flesh was a reminder that she was still alive. Wells was not.

Each time she ventured further and further away from the safety of the dropship. A simple thought settled into the back of her mind...What if she ran into Grounders? They might be dangerous, but so was she. Maybe she'd be lucky enough to catch Wells' killer and bring the justice he deserved.

Why did they do it? Why target one of the honest-to-god good people in the group? He hadn't done anything to them. She paused to take a steadying breath, hand clenching painfully around the saw. He hadn't even committed a crime to get on the dropship! He'd done the bare minimum to get on the dropship...to be with his best friend. To be with Clarke. He didn't deserve this...He didn't deserve any of it…. She thought morosely.

Despite doing her best to keep an eye out, she didn't see any sign of anyone else in the area. No delinquents. No Grounders. The area was quiet. But after seeing how well those Grounders had blended into their surroundings by the river, she knew it was possible they were watching her and she wouldn't have a clue. Not unless they wanted her to.

Cowards. The bitter thought brought a scowl to her face as she marched through the bush. She didn't know if she felt relieved or disappointed when nobody appeared.

Finally approaching one of slow growing sections of wall where some of the others had been stacking the logs using mud and smaller branches to wedge the bigger pieces into place - she allowed the log that she'd been dragging to finally drop to the soaked mossy floor.

With a huff she cracked her neck and rolled her shoulders, trying to loosen her tired and aching muscles, her exhaustion finally seeming to catch up to her. But as much as she wanted to rest, to sleep the day, she knew she couldn't. Not yet. If she stopped to think, stopped to rest, then her brain would take her places she didn't want to go.

So she continued working. Forcing her body to the point of exhaustion.

Sometime in the afternoon, the dark clouds that had rumbled overhead eventually let loose, and the downpour that resulted scattered many of the delinquents back into their tents and into the dropship, leaving the forest only eerily quiet around her. Only a few of the older teens stayed outside to keep working.

Alex relished the feeling of the rain on her skin. The large, cool drops washed away some of the grime and sweat she'd accumulated over the past few days. It didn't take more than a couple of minutes for her to be drenched to the bone, her clothes sticking to her like a second layer of skin. Eventually, her hair plastered to her head uncomfortably, stands sticking to her forehead uncomfortable. Wiping her hand across her face in an effort to push them away, she immediately regretted the motion when the blister on her palm came in contact with her sweat covered skin. Freezing at the sharp sting of pain, she sucked in a breath through clenched teeth, before releasing it slowly in a hiss.

Dammit.

Eyeing her hand, she noted that the blister had finally split, a thin, white strip of skin peeled away, attached only on one side, leaving the raw, red layer underneath exposed. Alex grimaced at the dirt that had already made its way into the cut and tucked her hand out of sight, distantly wishing that the Ark had sent them down with a first aid pack of some sort so she wouldn't have to deal with some nasty type of infection.

Ha, she scoffed. Yeah, right. If the cut was going to follow the downward spiral of her life, she was bound to get some deadly infection from Earth…

Lost in her thoughts, she completely missed the footsteps approaching her from behind, so when she turned around ready to head out again, she was thoroughly unprepared for the shoulder that bulldozed into her own. The force of the blow sent her staggering back, her heels catching on the log she'd just dropped off, and she crashed painfully on the ground, landing hard on her hip. Burning pain shot through her blistered hand as she tried to protect herself from the fall. The serrated metal she'd been carrying tumbled out of her hand and into nearby bushes.

Her exhaustion fled from her mind as adrenaline spiked through her. She hadn't heard anyone approaching! What if Grounders had come while everyone was hiding away in the dropship, making the most of the fact that she was alone and separated from the rest of the group?

But when her head snapped up to see who'd shoved her, she only found Jones and Mbege - two of Murphy's goons - standing over her, staring down at her wearing identical amused leers. Jones was carrying a bundle of branches under one arm, and both were drenched to the bone, droplets of water trickling down their faces.

A combination of relief and wariness washed through her. While it wasn't Grounders, the two of them approaching her couldn't be a sign of anything good.

But these two you can deal with. Her mind supplied calmly. It's Murphy you need to watch out for.

Hackles instantly rising, Alex looked passed them, searching for their rat-faced leader, but fortunately for her, Murphy was nowhere to be seen. She should have felt some sort of relief at the knowledge, but it was hardly a comfort with two of his followers standing over her.

"Alright down there, Evans?" Jones asked, cocking his head to one side, his voice dripping with fake concern, as if he hadn't been the one to put her down there in the first place. "You should really watch where you're walking, you wouldn't want to trip and hurt yourself."

"Especially when you're all alone. You never know who you could encounter out here," Mbege added with a smirk, taking a step towards her.

Not about to let them get any closer while she was flat on her back, she ignored the sharp sting of her palm and shoved herself into a crouch, before pushing herself to her feet, making sure to stand tall, and keeping her back turned away from them.

Don't show fear. Keep your anger in check. They'll only use it against you if you don't.

She eyed them with a scowl, noting that they were standing between her and the way back to the dropship - between her and help. Even if you shout for help, there's no guarantee that anyone will hear you, they're all hiding out in the dropship. You're on your own. Taking a small breath, she reined in her temper, figuring that the best way to deal with the two would be to talk her way out of it.

"What do you want?" she asked them bluntly, shifting, feeling the mossy ground squishing beneath her feet. While she eyed both of them, but focused mostly on Mbege, the closer of the two. He was close enough that she wasn't sure she could make it to the knife in her boot before he was on her. "Shouldn't you be licking Murphy's boots? I'm sure he's looking for you."

They shared an amused look, as if they knew she was going to try to talk herself out of it.

"Nah, he's busy," Jones shrugged, giving her a cold smile. "We were just passing by and wanted to make sure you were okay, you know, with your boyfriend now being dead and all. Murphy seemed to think you might need some consoling, if we happened to come across you," he continued, setting down the branches he'd been carrying, his eyes raking over her body. "How 'bout it, Evans? Want me to console you?" He stepped toward her.

Don't let them get to you. You react and you'll give them exactly what they're looking for.

Even though her hairs stood on end at his leer, her blood boiled at the mention of Wells. Nails dug painfully into the tender skin of her palm. Her glare darkened. "I'm only going to warn you once - back off," she snapped, body tensing, ready to fight if she needed to.

"Huh - what do ya know? " Mbege cocked his head, eyeing her before giving a nasty smirk. "Maybe you're not that sad… After all, isn't this exactly what happened to your last boyfriend? Mysteriously stabbed in the night? Was that what happened - you'd had enough of Jaha and decide to get rid of him too?"

The accusation should have hit her like a blow to the gut. His words were meant to hurt, aimed to damage. So she flinched. But not because of the sting the words brought, but because his words echoed her own thoughts. She was the common denominator. Even Mbege could see it.

Liam...Wells… their lives would have been different if you weren't in it. Maybe you do more damage than good.

The two guys infront of her seemed unaware of her inner conflict, because Jones laughed like what Mbege had said was hilarious. "Shit, maybe I wouldn't fuck you after all. Who knows...I'd probably be the next found dead!"

Mbege clapped Jones on the back and smirked at him. "What's this - got nothing to say, Evans? Not even going to deny it?" he frowned at her in amusement. "Although I guess she really did us a favour with Jaha. No real loss, since nobody actually liked that shit anyway."

Shoving back the pain, a snarl crosses her face as she glared at them. "Shut. Up!" she snapped, fury and hurt running through her veins.

"Ohhh, she speaks!" Jones laughed, mockingly. "I thought for a moment you'd gone mute on us. Which would be a fucking shame... I was really looking forward to hearing some details," he jeered, leaning towards her almost conspiratorially, putting a hand to his ear as if he expected her to share a secret. "So tell me...did Jaha scream like a girl when you sunk his knife into his neck?"

A scream of rage building in her chest, she stepped towards him, fists clenched, fully determined to break something. His nose, his whole fucking face. Fuck the consequences.

She hadn't taken more than a step forward before she was interrupted.

"Hey!" A deep voice barked from somewhere to her left, one that Alex instantly recognized as Bellamy's. "What's the hell's going on here?"

Although she halted her advance towards the two, Alex barely spared Bellamy a glance, keeping her eyes instead on Jones and Mbege, wary that if she turned her back, they could use it to their advantage. But she couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of relief she felt at Bellamy's arrival, his presence cooling some of the hot rage that had built up inside her.

Things hadn't been as tense between them lately, not like when they'd first landed. Something had changed between them during the time they'd spent in the cave. He'd helped her without question when she'd needed it. Although she wouldn't quite call it trust between them - she didn't understand his motives enough for that, no further than he would do absolutely anything for his sister - but since they'd arrived on Earth, he'd saved her life more than a few times, which was something she could apparently rely on.

She wasn't stupid enough to think that they were friends, or even allies. They merely shared similar views - protecting the younger kids in their group and keep surviving. But she knew that if anything she did threatened his sister's safety, they would be back to standing on opposite sides of the same line.

Even so, she would have Bellamy watch her back over these two anyday.

The two boys in front of her tensed at the sight of Bellamy's incoming figure, who was striding towards them purposefully, arms laden with decent sized branches. Like everyone else, he was soaked to the bone, his dark hair plastered to his head, dark blue t-shirt fitting him like a second skin, doing nothing to hide the definition in his arms and shoulders. His jacket was nowhere in sight.

Dark eyes were fixed in a glower clearly directed at the two before her, although he briefly scanned her expression, eyes narrowing as he studied her. She momentarily met his gaze before looking away.

Jones and Mbege looked wary as they eyed Bellamy, as if not sure how to deal with him. It was clear that they respected his authority in the group, but Alex wondered if some of the animosity Murphy held towards Bellamy had tainted their perception of him. It wouldn't surprise her at all. Murphy's intense dislike for Bellamy and his lead in the group was as clear as day.

Then Jones expression eased into a friendly grin. "Bellamy!" he said in greeting, stepping towards the taller man, before waving a hand back towards her. "We were just having a friendly conversation with Evans here, just making sure that she's alright with everything that's happened and all."

Liar.

"Oh, really?" Bellamy merely stared at the shorter man, expression unchanging as he cocked his head to one side. "Is that so?" he asked dryly.

Mbege nodded, stepping up to stand alongside his friend. "We were just wondering if she needed a shoulder to cry on, maybe some consoling, if you know what I mean." He wiggled his eyebrows, looking impressed with himself, as if they were doing something that Bellamy would approve of.

Alex frowned, feeling slightly perplexed. Did they think that Bellamy would be happy about what they were doing?

Clearly, yes, Bellamy did know what they meant, and no, he did not look happy about it by the way his glare darkened while he stared at them.

Jones looked worried about the change in Bellamy's expression, but before he could scramble to put together a reassuring answer, an evil idea popped into her head. Not giving them a chance to think any more she quickly spoke up. "Actually. When I told them I didn't need a shoulder to cry on, they offered to help carry this tree for me," she stated pointedly, motioning to the log behind her.

The comment had the desired effect, Jones and Mbege's head snapped around towards her, their eyes wide. Maybe they were still under the impression that her and Bellamy were on poor terms. Which was probably understandable, she realized, as pretty much every time her and Bellamy in the same place in front of the other delinquents, they were usually at each other's throats.

All three boys gave her looks bordering on disbelief, Bellamy's the most skeptical of them all, although he gave her a slight quirk of his eyebrow, amusement flickering across his face. Clearly none of them had expected her to defend them.

"Right...Fine," Bellamy said, turning back to the other two. Then he smirked, stepping towards Jones, the other boy flinching in response. "Since you were offering to be so helpful…" Bellamy continued, then shoved the branches he was carrying into the arms of the other boy, who staggered back in response, looking surprised. Then the smirk fell from Bellamy's face and he glared at them. "Now get back to work!" he barked at them. "And I don't want to see either of you slacking off, got it?"

Jones gave a hasty nod and hurried away, Mbege picking up the branches they'd dropped earlier and scurried after him, not before shooting a nasty look back their way. Then they disappeared out of sight. Leaving Alex and Bellamy alone, with nothing but uncomfortable silence between them.

Alex distantly wondered what they were going to tell Murphy, now that they'd seen Bellamy defend her.

"It's not smart to be out here alone. You know there's Grounders out here," Bellamy finally stated pointedly, running a hand through rain soaked hair, pushing it out of his face as he eyed her, his expression hard to decipher. His voice had lost the edge it had taken when addressing the two other boys, instead replaced with something softer. Kinder. Something she didn't care to think sounded like concern.

A scoff left her as she sank down onto the log behind her. The anger that had coursed through her at Mbege and Jones' words evaporated from her body, leaving exhaustion in its wake. Her body felt heavy and shaky. Not for the first time she wished she could find somewhere she could just curl up and rest, somewhere where her sleep wouldn't be haunted by nightmares.

"What do you care?" she asked, tenderly prodding the raw patch of skin on her palm, eyes staring almost unseeingly at the ground beneath her. "Maybe if a couple more people disappeared, you'd have your wall up in a matter of hours," she said with a downward twist of her lips, referring to the fact that Bellamy hadn't wasted the opportunity in using Wells' death to his advantage.

A pause. Then, "Don't be stupid," he shot at her.

Startled and offended at his incongruous comment, her head snapped up to meet his glare with one of her own. "Excuse me?"

He took a few steps towards where she was sitting before leaning on the tree across from her, hands shoved in his pant pockets as he stared down at her, eyes hard. "You heard me," he replied, tone condescending. "Do you really think wandering around out here on your own, looking for Grounders, is going to help anybody?" he asked pointedly, eyebrows raised, giving her a knowing look.

Jaw clenched, Alex turned her head away from his gaze mulishly, knowing he was right, knowing that by being out here on her own was dangerous. Before she could open her mouth to defend herself, he barreled on.

"I get you want answers, and I get you are probably looking for some sort of revenge, but getting yourself killed isn't going to do anyone any good," he said. "Besides, what do you think Wells would say about what you're doing."

A sharp stab of pain shot through her chest at her friend's name, and this time when she glared up at Bellamy, there was anger in her gaze. "Don't," she bit out.

But Bellamy was unrepentant. "No, I think I will - you clearly need to hear this. Yes. Wells is dead. But being stupid and reckless isn't going to bring him back." He stared down at her. When she flinched, his face softened slightly and he sighed. Stepping forward he crouched in front of her, resting his forearms on his knees. "The group needs every last person we can get right now… Besides, what are Charlotte and Jemma going to do if you end up dead?"

She flinched, feeling struck, knowing once again that he was right. She wasn't helping anyone by being reckless. If the group was going to survive they needed to stay together. To work together. Besides, if she became just another casualty, who would watch over Jemma and Charlotte?

For a moment, neither of them said a word.

She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself and her thoughts. Glancing up she frowned at him, "Why do you care?" She asked the question that had been bother her.

He eyed her for a moment before shrugging. "This isn't about you, Evans. It's about the bigger picture," he answered truthfully, and she shot him a dry look in response. "Out of all the delinquents - if we ignore the past few days - you are one of the few who has a smart head on their shoulders... you work hard and you understand what we need to do to survive." At her dubious look, he rolled his eyes. "I've seen you working tirelessly these last few days, Evans. Unlike Clarke, you are willing to get your hands dirty." He eyed her, and she assumed he was looking at the purple bags that had probably settled around her eyes. "In fact, I have a feeling you haven't even slept much either."

At that, she shot him a dry look, "Really? What gave it away?" She drawled sarcastically, then continued, "I assume this isn't a conversation you're going to be having with Clarke then?"

He snorted. "No," he answered flatly. "I don't have time to hold the Princess's hand and get her to work. Besides, she's already got Spacewalker fawning all over her," he grimaced, looking disgusted, then pushed himself to his feet, head tilting back to check out the patches of clouds they could see through the treetops. She followed his gaze.

The heavy rain had finally slowed down to a slow drizzle, although the clouds remained dark overhead. It would be a few more hours until sundown, but they would lose a lot of light as the sun began to duck behind the nearby mountains.

Bellamy turned back to eye her, then stepped forward and extended a hand. Nodding his head back in the direction of the dropship, he giving her an expectant look. "Come on, let's head back before it gets dark."

She hesitated, then nodded, reaching out and grasping his hand, which enclosed her own snuggly before easily pulling her to her feet. Although she could feel the mud and grit on his skin from a hard day's work, his hand was still pleasantly warm in her own. He gave her a tug in the direction they were going to go before releasing her hand.

Wells wouldn't want you to be like this, she thought firmly to herself, falling into step behind him. If you're going to survive this, you need to get your head on straight. Think about Jemma. Think about Charlotte...And Nate.

Glancing up at the sky once more she paused.

Think about Liam.

As she trailed behind Bellamy on their way back to camp, her footsteps following his, Alex was lost in thought. Bellamy's words had struck a chord within her. She knew that he had a point. She was hurting from Wells death. She had failed the one person down on Earth who had been nice to her, hadn't looked at her differently because of her crime. But she couldn't just think of herself. She needed to remember that there were others relying on her. Jemma. Charlotte. Both of them were so young. So innocent about the world around them.

Be strong for them. Show them that we can survive here without needing to fear for our lives everyday. That we can make this work. That I'll be there for them, she nodded to herself firmly even as she felt a pang of regret. She hadn't been purposely ignoring them, but ever since Wells death she'd avoided interacting with anyone in the group...and she realized that unfortunately that included the two younger girls. But no more...no more running and hiding. I'll find Charlotte and Jemma and apologize...We need to get our shit together if we're going to survive here. I'll show both of them how to defend themselves, what to do if they get attacked. I can't put it off anymore, they need to know just as much as everyone else.

That was something she could do. Something she could focus on.

Even though it hadn't taken them long to get back to the dropship, the sun - which was somewhere behind the dark clouds above them - must have finally ducked behind the nearby mountains, throwing the forest around them into near darkness. Now that the rains had finished, many of the delinquents were trying to get the fires back up and running.

Catching sight of her tent she was unprepared by the yawn that overcame her and she paused at the edge of camp, realizing how tired she was.

Bellamy must have heard her stop, because her turned back to her, giving her a smirk when he caught her mid-yawn.

She shot him an unamused look. "What?"

He simply shook his head, smirk still in place. "Nothing," he said, turning away and heading away from her. "I'm pretty sure I've already said it this week, but, get some sleep, Evans. You look like you're going to keel over."

She snorted, rolling her eyes. "That's no way to compliment a lady," she grumbled, indignantly.

He turned back to her and his smirk turned into a grin. "Well, Evans, you'll know when I pay you a compliment." He gave her a suggestive look, eyes trailing down her body then back up to her face, "And there's lots to compliment," he winked, then turned and walked away, sending a brief wave over his shoulder.

Blinking at his back, he was long gone when the blush had fully reached her face, tinting her cheeks red.

What...where did that come from?

Shaking her head to clear the thoughts, she disregarded what Bellamy had just said as some trick from her exhausted mind.

Sleep. I just need sleep. Jemma and Charlotte can wait until tomorrow.

Rubbing her hands tiredly over her face, she decided to skip dinner, consisting of whatever food the group had managed to gather over the day, and instead just head to her tent and go to sleep.

So that's exactly what she did.

Entering her tent, she threw herself down on her 'bed', which she'd been avoiding for the past few days in favour of avoiding her own mind. Kicking off her boots, she zipped up her jacket for warmth and curled up under her blanket, which consisted of a section of parachute that had been folded up and stuffed full of leaves.

She'd been there for no more than a couple of minutes before she was fast asleep…

...and found herself wandering the corridors of the Ark, in a way she hadn't done in years, since before her incarceration. The familiar metal halls were eerily silent around her, and she knew without thought that she was the only living being in the area.

So she walked. And walked. She visited places she hadn't seen in a long time. Through the familiar halls of Go-Sci, where she'd spent a lot of her time. The Miller's residence. The Kane's residence. The Eden Tree.

She avoided the one place which she was supposed to have considered her 'home'. She could smell the old woman's sweat, that no perfume could mask. For a brief moment, she felt bony fingers wrap tightly around her arm, threatening to drag her into the dark. She reared back, shaking her head. Earth, her tent, was more of a home than the place she grew up in. She was never going back there. Not if that witch was still there.

As she continued wandering, she suddenly became aware of the feeling that someone was following her, like an itch on the back of her neck, causing the hairs on her body to stand on end. There was a presence at her back, but each time she turned to look, there was only shadows that moved out of the corner of her eyes, sent chills down her spine. Anytime she turned to face it, the halls behind her were empty.

'Alex.' A voice suddenly whispered in her ear, so close that she could feel it's breath ghosting over her ear, moving over the skin of her cheek.

With a startled scream, she whirled around, only to come nose to nose with a familiar face.

Shocked, she froze, staring in disbelief.

"Atom?" she asked, studying the dead boy who stood casually in front of her, his hand shoved deep into his pant pockets. His dark eyes stared at her unblinkingly. It was only when he cocked his head to the side and his lips curved into a cold smirk that she realized that the thing before her was not Atom, but merely a monster wearing his face. A terrified trembled washed through her and she stepped back. His grin only grew in response.

"Now, now," 'Atom' said with a pout, taking a step towards her, clutching at his chest as if his heart ached. "That hurts. Is it something to do with my face?" He pointed a finger towards his cheek. "Maybe this one would be better?" he asked her, and before her eyes, his skin darkened, his face transforming until it was no longer Atom.

It was Wells.

A pained moan escaped her at the sight and she brought up her hands to hold back the sob that threatened to escape her.

"Why?" he demanded angrily, fists curled at his sides as he took a menacing step towards her. "Why did you do this to us, Alex?" He spat her name like a curse.

She only took another step back before her back touched the freezing metal wall behind her. She could only cower back as he towered over her, anger radiating from his skin like heat, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Wells. God, I'm so sorry. I wasn't there when you needed me," she said, allowing herself to slide down the wall, her hands covering her face as she cried.

For a moment he said nothing, then: "We know," he said softly, soothingly.

Her sobs froze in her chest at the familiar voice, a voice she knew better than any other. Head snapping, she peered up through her fingers at the person crouched before her, only to stare into familiar hazel eyes, framed by messy sandy hair.

"Liam?" she croaked in disbelief, to the boy who she hadn't seen since the day she was thrown in the Skybox, where he'd been laying in a pool of his own blood as she'd been dragged away, kicking and screaming.

He gave her a soft, but familiar grin. "Hey, Al," he said, reaching out and running a hand through her hair. Her heart ached at the familiar nickname and her mind seemed to forget entirely that he had switched faces not once, but twice before, his personality blending from one to another. She leaned into his hand.

"Liam..." she breathed in relief, before taking a deep breath. "I'm so sorry," she told him, words that she'd needed to say to him for years, pouring out of her mouth. "I tried to stop them, but I couldn't...I wasn't fast enough."

His hand came to rest at the back of her neck and he smiled soothingly. "I know, Al," he reassured her, bringing up his other hand, the glint of silver catching her attention. She only felt perplexed at the fact that he was holding a knife, her knife, the one that had done so much damage during her life.

When he leaned down towards her again she could only meet his eyes, noting that his smile had curved into something darker, something more sinister. She didn't have time to move before the hand holding her neck tightened and the other struck her like a snake.

Pain pierced her neck and then she was choking, gagging on the warm fluid that filled her throat. Jerking away, she reached up to grip his hand, his skin cool and clammy, fingers still tightly clenched around the cold handle of the blade he had just buried in her neck. She could feel the warm fluid slipping past the blade and over his hand, coating her own. Coughing, choking, warm blood bubbled up her throat, filling her mouth with its coppery taste, before spilling past her lips. Panic clawed through her as she attempted staunch the flow, but her energy seemed to drain out of her faster than she could react.

Shocked, she could only stare at him in disbelief.

She didn't know who she was seeing. Atom? Wells? Liam? Somehow, the monster in front of her was a mixture of the three. It simply smiled, almost serenely, as if it hadn't just stabbed her in the side of the neck. Then it leaned down, bringing their heads side to side, his lips brushing her ear. "We know you're sorry, Al. We know. But being sorry just isn't. good. enough."

"Alex?" someone said and Alex' eyes snapped open at the sound. Jolting up with a gasp, her hands flew to her neck, grasping for a wound that was never actually there, her fingers finding her skin clammy instead of slick with blood. Heart pounding in her chest, she gasped for breath, the knowledge that she wasn't choking on her own blood taking a moment to sink in, and slowly the ache in her chest subsided.

She was in her tent, exactly where she'd laid down to rest what felt like moments before.

A dream. It was only a dream.

Movement from the opening to her tent caught her attention and she turned to see Harper was peering down from the opening in her tent, expression somewhere between worried and sympathetic. Alex realized that it must have been her who she'd heard calling her name, the sound thankfully waking her up from the nightmare she'd been stuck in.

With a small groan, Alex rubbed her face, realizing that not only was her face soaked with sweat, her hair sticking to her skin. She'd been crying in her sleep.

No wonder Harper's staring at you like you're about to lose your mind. She's probably thinks you're acting like a child… who cries in their sleep?

"Hey, sorry," Alex hurried to reassure her, quickly wiping her face with her sleeve, waving her forward, before she tried to untangle the mop of blonde hair on her head. She must have been tossing and turning in her sleep. "You can come in... if you'd like?" she offered tentatively.

Harper's eye knit together softly and she bit her lip, looking uncertain for a moment before nodding and moving the flap aside, ducking into the small tent and kneeling in the space next to her.

Alex squinted at the sunlight that came through the gap. With a jolt, she realized she must have slept through the entire night. In fact, she could already hear the activity from the rest of the camp, so she might have actually overslept.

She frowned. That would be a first.

Her confusion must have shown because Harper answered her unasked question. "Jemma said you were completely out this morning, so we decided to let you get some sleep. She said… Well, that you haven't been sleeping much the past few days. We were hoping that it would help," she grimaced, looking sorry. "Guess good intentions can't keep nightmares away."

Alex huffed a small bitter laugh. "Nothing keeps nightmares away," she grumbled, mostly to herself, before continuing, giving her an honestly smile. "But thank you, anyways. I appreciate it. Sleep hasn't been easy to come across lately, to every little bit helps," she shrugged, then nodded towards the activity going on outside, "I actually feel much better than I did." And it was true, she realized. She felt better than she had in a few days.

Harper smiled, eyes crinkling in the corners as she nodded. "Great! I'm glad," she said sincerely. "Today should help too. It's actually a nice day out there today. No more rain!" she grinned at her, but the expression didn't last long on her face, which slowly slipped back into a worried look.

Alex frowned at the change of expression, concern going through her. Despite Harper being more than helpful watching over Jemma and Charlotte, she knew that the other girl wouldn't seek her out unless she needed to, like most of the others in the group. Especially without one of the two younger girls in tow. "Something wrong?" she asked, fully turning to face the other girl, crossing her legs in front of her, bracing her forearms on her knees.

Harper bit the inside of her cheek, "I guess. I'm...not sure, actually," she replied, fiddling with her fingers in her lap, looking like she was gathering her thoughts, as she gazed around the tent. She took a deep breath, then continued, "I guess I've just noticed that something was off with Charlotte since...well, you know," she gave a small grimace, her words hurried, as if she spoke fast enough, it would gloss over the mention of Wells death. It didn't, but Alex appreciated the effort.

"Off? How so?" Alex asked, eyeing her. She hadn't seen much of Charlotte the past few days, the other girl keeping to herself, but she'd assumed that was because of how distant she had been, and not because the young girl was acting any stranger than normal.

"Distant? More quiet than usual?" Harper offered with a tentative shrug. "The thing that's got me worried is that she's been avoiding Jemma too...and wandering off in the middle of the day. To the point that even Jemma mentioned it this morning."

Alex frowned. That is odd. Those two have been inseparable since we landed.

"I guess I'm just worried that she's afraid about what happened and is pulling away from the group," Harper continued softly, giving Alex an almost regretful look, her face sincere. "I know...I know things have been rough for you lately...but, but I was wondering if you could, maybe, talk to her about it?" she asked then bit her lip, giving her a small smile. "I'm worried that something could happen before we get the wall up and I don't want her to get hurt."

Alex couldn't help but smile at the other girl. Something about Harper was so nice, so sincere. She was always making sure everyone was alright, always willing to help others around camp. There weren't many people like her around, making Alex briefly wonder what she'd done to end up in the Skybox alongside the rest of the delinquents. She seemed too good to be down here with the rest of them.

So she nodded. "Of course. I'll check on her the moment I see her."

Harper seemed to sag slightly with relief at her answer, sending her a beaming smile. "Thanks, Alex!"

Alex wondered if the other girl thought she was going to say no to checking on Charlotte.

After Harper had left the tent and Alex had tied up her boots, she went looking for the absent girl. As she walked, she realized that while her sleep had been full of nightmares, she actually felt better than she'd felt in a long time. The cloud that had fogged her brain had disappeared. And though her muscles ached from working hard, she felt energetic.

She felt like she was going to be okay. She would live for Wells. He saw the potential in them being on Earth, of their survival here, so she would be damned if she didn't do her best to make it happen.

Glancing towards the area where Wells was now resting, she gave a small smile. I promise, Wells. I'll do my best, she thought, feeling like a weight had been removed from her shoulders.

It took her only a few minutes to find Charlotte, the girl wandering between the forest on the opposite side of the dropship. The young girl was wringing her hands together nervously, eyes wide as she stared out into the forest.

"Charlotte?" Alex called out to her as she approached to catch her attention. She was thoroughly unprepared for Charlotte's reaction. The young girl whirled around to face her, her eyes wide. Alex frowned as she physically watched the blood drain from her face. She had bags under her eyes like she hadn't slept in days.

Harper was right, something was wrong.

Charlotte was terrified.

Of what though? Something? Someone? Did she see something?

Alex slowed her approach, coming to a stop a fair bit away, giving the girl space as she studied her, knowing how easy it was to feel crowded when she was scared. Trying to give her a reassuring expression, Alex eyed her trying to puzzle out what was wrong.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked her softly.

She was surprised when Charlotte's face crumpled and the young girl launched herself at her wrapping her arms around her middle, sending her stumbling back. Leaning down, she wrapped her arms around the young girl's shoulders, shocked when she could feel them shaking.

The little girl was sobbing into her chest.

"Wow, hey. You're okay. You're okay," Alex repeated reassuringly, hugging her as tightly as she could, wondering what the hell had made her so afraid, so shaken as to put her in this state. She pressed her cheek onto the shorter blonde's head, rocking her gently back and forth. It took a few minutes, but slowly her sobs subsided into shaky hiccups.

When Alex was sure that Charlotte was a bit better, she pulled back slightly and looked down at her, but Charlotte wouldn't pull her face away from her chest. With a sigh, Alex ran head hand over the girls braided hair.

"Come on," Alex began. "let's sit down." She turned, keeping an arm around Charlotte as she guided her to a nearby log, allowing her to sit down.

Charlotte seemed to sag, dropping her face into her arms as Alex crouched in front of her, unsure what she could do for the clearly distraught girl other than be there for her, keeping her hand on her shoulder. After giving her a second, Alex decided she may as well ask. "You want to tell me what's wrong?" She asked softly.

Charlotte hesitated then shook her head, keeping her face pressed into her arms.

Biting her lip uncertainly, Alex stared at the other girl, unsure of what to do. If the young girl didn't tell her what was wrong, then she couldn't do anything to help her.

"Charlotte, please. I can't help if you don't tell me," she pleaded, running her hand over her head again, tilting her head down to try and catch the other girl's eyes.

"I can't," Charlotte hiccupped, shaking her head vigorously. "If you know…" she trailed off.

Alex blinked, alarmed. Had Charlotte seen something she wasn't supposed to and now feared for her life? Alex hastened to reassure her. "Charlotte! You don't have to fear anything. Or anyone. Whatever it is, whatever you saw, I swear I'll protect you. I can help you get through this," she promised the distraught girl. "But you need to tell me what you saw," she added more softly.

Charlotte shook her head. "No, you won't," she accused. "You'll hate me."

Stunned by the accusation, Alex sat back on her heels to stare at her.

"What?" she frowned, "Why would you think I would hate you? You know that's not true." But even as she said that words, a cold feeling settled in her stomach. Reaching out she grabbed the girl's shoulders and nudged her back until they were face to face. "Charlotte - Why would you think I would hate?" Alex asked, her voice more urgent, but it couldn't hide the chill that went through her.

Charlotte lips quivered as she met her eyes and shook her head strongly before pulling away from her.

"Because, because I -I did it!" Charlotte sobbed, her red, tear streaked face staring up at her in despair.

"I killed Wells!"

AN: Poor Alex, she's been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and unfortunately for her it's not going to get much better any time soon. This chapter really sets things in motion!

But at least things are improving between Alex and Bellamy? What did you guys think about that? :)

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Bee-back: Thanks so much for your review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!