A/N: Yay! I'm back! Sorry for disappearing for so long. I honestly don't have an excuse. I've had more than 50% of this chapter done for a month now and unfortunately the second half has been giving me trouble. Instead of waiting longer, I finally decided to split it and give you the part that was complete! So on one hand it is a shorter chapter than normal...on the other, you guy will probably only have to wait until December for the next update! Yipee! :)

As always - thanks to everyone who followed, favourited and reviewed this story! I'VE HIT 400 FOLLOWERS! You guys rock and I love you and I absolutely could not do this without you! :)

Thanks to Dannylionthe1st, my wonderful beta!

Read and enjoy!

Chapter 23

The hours following Charlotte's suicide and Murphy's banishment passed in a blur.

It was well past dark when they arrived back in camp, all of them stumbling in bone-deep exhaustion. As they all trudged through their makeshift gate, many delinquents stood up to greet them, although their reactions were mixed. Relief, shock, disappointment, anger, they were all present on the faces around them.

As Clarke and Bellamy called for a meeting and the rest of the delinquents gathered, Alex trailed in behind the rest, keeping to the back of the growing crowd. She avoided the gazes of those that looked her way, unwilling and unable to answer their questions. Prying eyes seemed to burn into her even as she stood away from everyone else, keeping out of reach of the campfire's light. She didn't want to face them. She couldn't. Not now.

Even though she stood among the group of teenagers, she felt separated from the meeting somehow, as if she was somewhere outside her body. The murmur of words echoed around her but she found she couldn't understand anything that was being said. Her mind lingered on everything that had happened over the past couple of days. Not for the first time she wondered if she had made different choices, if things would have turned out differently.

A ripple of discord went through the crowd dragged her out of her thoughts and she turned to see what had caused it.

"Who decided that you get to be in charge?" shouted a guy from the crowd. Another wave of murmurs went through the crowd, some even shouting their agreement.

"Look, this isn't about who's in charge," Bellamy explained, voice raised as he looked around the crowd. "This is about making sure that what happened tonight doesn't happen again."

"We need to have some form of order," Clarke added, standing next to Bellamy. "It will be a way to make sure that everyone's on the same page. We need to have some rules. Some structure. And we need to decide what to do with those who don't follow along."

"Like Murphy?" challenged the same guy as before, and Alex turned to him with a frown, eyeing him. She wasn't the only one.

Tall, broadly built with sandy blonde hair, he was probably the largest delinquent in camp. Alex had seen him around, but for the life of her couldn't put a name to his face. He wasn't one of Murphy's lot, that was for sure. They weren't stupid enough to show their faces right now.

Bellamy set his glare on the broad delinquent, clearly not impressed by the other's challenging tone. "Murphy made his own decisions. He didn't care at all for what was best for everyone else, just himself. He attacked several people from the camp and the price for that was banishment," Bellamy informed him, voice cold. "If you don't like it, then you are more than welcome to join him," he added with a shrug, although the challenge in his voice was clear as he watched the other boy.

"Look, we aren't trying to put ourselves in charge," Clarke hurriedly butted in sensing the tension growing between the two boys. Bellamy sent her a look that left Alex feeling that he didn't quite agree with Clarke's words. Then again, it wasn't that surprising, Bellamy had placed himself at the top the moment they'd landed. He wasn't likely to give it up, not even to Clarke.

"How about this - let's have a vote in the next couple of days," Clarke continued, trying to reason with the crowd. "We can elect someone to be in charge. Does that seem fair?" she asked, eyes darting around the crowd. Several people nodded in response and Clarke smiled in relief. "Good."

At that, people seemed to take that as their cue that the meeting was over and began dispersing. Bellamy and Clarke lingered for a moment, sharing a tired expression before splitting off on their own as well. The boy that had challenged them glared at them both until they were out of sight, and then disappeared in the other direction.

Alex turned and made her own way to the far side of camp, to where a small fire flickered, no one else around it.

It took her a moment to realize that something about the meeting bothered her, although it took her a second to see what it was: there had been no mention of Charlotte. Not even once.

Irrational anger flowed through her at the realization. Had she already been so easily forgotten? No one had mentioned her, no one had even asked about her. Clarke, Bellamy and Finn had even been there when she'd died. Were they simply using the occasion to boost their power within the group?

Alex stomped over to the fire, throwing herself down next to it on the mossy forest floor. She hissed in pain as the skin of her knuckles stretched at the movement. Bringing her hands up before her face, she winced at the sight of her split and bloody skin, a reminder of how easily she could have beat Murphy to death.

The anger she'd felt. The hatred.

If Bellamy hadn't been there, if he hadn't stopped her…

I would have killed him. I would have slit his throat and left him to die. And it would have been too easy.

Alex took a deep breath, clenching her eyes shut tightly, pressing the palms of her hand into her eyes until she saw flashes of colour and light behind her eyelids.

Is this what you want to be known for? I expected more from you...you're nothing more than a killer, a disappointed voice said in her head. She knew that voice. Knew the person who had said it so long ago.

Wrapping her arms tightly around her legs, she pressed her forehead to her knees. She was beyond spent. Exhausted. All she wanted was to sleep.

You're nothing more than a killer.

Alex wished more than anything that it wasn't true.

"Can't sleep?"

After hours of watching the fire, Alex slowly turned her head towards the shadowed figure standing just outside the fire's glow. Bleary eyed, she blinked, not immediately recognizing the figure or the voice. The camp around them had gone quiet and she realized that more time had passed than she'd thought and many of the other teens had gone to bed.

The ground crunched as Octavia stepped further into the light, hands shoved deeply into the pockets of the jacket she was wearing. She looked uncomfortable. Unsure. As if she didn't quite know if she wanted to be there.

Alex stared at the dark haired girl, not sure what to make of her, wondering why Octavia of all people would approach her.

Octavia cleared her throat, chewing on the inside of her lip. "Can I sit?" she finally asked.

Alex blinked, realizing she hadn't actually answered her first question. "Oh, uh. Sure," she replied with a nod, internally wincing at how rough her voice sounded.

Octavia settled down not far from her, sitting cross-legged, close enough to talk comfortably without encroaching on her personal space.

Both of them stared at the fire, the silence growing and stretching uncomfortably between them.

"Are... you okay?" Octavia asked hesitantly, deciding to break the silence between them. Alex could see her turn to study her out of the corner of her eye.

"I'm fine," she replied quietly.

"You don't look fine," Octavia bravely pointed out.

Alex's gaze was hard as it cut towards the other girl. "Then stop looking," she replied calmly, but the bite in her words were unmistakable. I didn't ask you to come check on me.

Octavia fell quiet at her comment, before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she said heavily, shoving a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Alex's brow knitted in confusing as she eyed her. Octavia wouldn't meet her eyes, this time her gaze remaining fixed on the flames.

"For what?" Alex prodded when Octavia didn't elaborate, wondering what the other girl could possibly be apologizing for. Octavia wasn't someone she had ever really gotten along with. They had butted heads on more than one occasion since they'd landed. Even so, she didn't think she had done anything that needed forgiving.

Octavia sighed. "For putting the blame on you for Wells death."

Alex stared at her, then swallowed hard. "Oh." A cold feeling swept through her. Thinking of Wells only reminded her of his prone body, dead eyes staring up blankly into the world above. Thinking of his death, reminded her of Charlotte, how she couldn't let go of her fear and anger...

I- I just want to stop thinking about it.

"I know you guys were close," Octavia hurried to continue, running a hand through her long hair, seeming to sense her reluctance to talk about it. "I heard about your past...and just assumed."

"To be fair, it's not exactly an unreasonable assumption," Alex replied dryly. "Can't really blame you for that."

"I know. I know. But I also know what it's like to be blamed for something that's not your fault," Octavia replied. "It wasn't fair when you clearly cared about Wells and you did what you could for Charlotte. So... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Alex's felt a flare of annoyance at the girl's words and want to snap back that Octavia should be sorry, that this was all her fault...but found that she couldn't. There was a sincerity in Octavia's voice that told her she truly meant every word.

Her irritation faded away.

"Its...it's alright," Alex finally responded, giving the other girl a quick, shaky smile. "I guess we all made some wrong choices tonight," she sighed, rubbing her face, grimacing at the sting from her knuckles. "I just wish I had seen what was going on. If I had..." she trailed off.

If I had Wells would be alive. Charlotte might be alive. Things could have been different.

Octavia didn't ask her to elaborate, giving her a look that Alex could have only described as sympathetic. "I don't think anyone thought tonight would turn out the way it did. That whole chaos with Murphy...Now there're rules." Octavia shuddered, a disgusted look crossing her face.

For some reason, Alex couldn't stop the snort of amusement that escaped her. "So much for 'Whatever-the-hell-we-want'."

"Yeah. I don't think it lasted as long as Bell wanted it to." Octavia smirked and they shared a short amused expression. "But it might be for the best."

Silence descended between them again, except this time it was more comfortable, the earlier tension having eased away.

Octavia leaned back on her hands, gazing up at the sky and Alex followed suit, eyes landing on the clear starry sky she could see through the gaps in the canopy above them. It was a beautiful sight. There was something drastically different between seeing the stars from the Ark and seeing them from Earth. It was something she would never get tired of looking at.

Glancing at Octavia, Alex realized how content the other girl looked. She looked relaxed. Peaceful.

It was only then that Alex remembered what Octavia's life had been before they had descended. She had grown up in one cage and escaped, only to be thrown in another.

"Coming to Earth must be the best things to ever happen to you," Alex commented softly, eyeing the other girl.

Octavia met her gaze, a flicker of emotion passing through her eyes that Alex couldn't quite place.

"Earth's pretty nice, even with everything that's happened," she shrugged. "Then again, pretty much anything is better than living in a hole in the floor for your entire life."

Octavia tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but Alex could see from the way she tensed that it bothered her.

And why shouldn't it? Octavia lived in fear for her entire life and was punished for something out of her control.

"I guess it wasn't all bad," Octavia continued after a moment. "I mean, hiding all the time sucked. But at least back then I had both Bell and Mom."

Alex gave her an understanding look. "It must have been hard, losing your mom like that."

Octavia made a sound in the back of her throat, but didn't say anything in response.

"At least you've still got Bellamy," Alex added softly, staring into the fire, a fleeting feeling of longing going through her. "Many people would kill for family like that. And he'd do anything for you," she added softly.

Octavia's posture softened and she let out a small smile. "I know. I'm-I'm lucky to have him," she pressed her lips together and shot her a questioning look. "What about you? Have any family back on the Ark?"

Alex let out a bitter snort before she could stop herself. "No. Not really. I- uh, didn't know my parents."

Octavia looked surprised by the news. "Oh. I didn't know."

"Not many people do," Alex replied flatly. "My parents were out of the picture when I was young. Don't really have any memory of them."

"How...how does that work?" Octavia asked brow furrowed in confusion. "I mean, who takes care of kids that lose their parents when they're young. It seems to happen...often enough."

Alex blinked. "Oh, um, I was raised by Mrs.M, she's one of the caretakers on the Ark."

She shouldn't have been surprised by Octavia's apparent lack of knowledge of the inner workings of the Ark. Mrs. Morell, or Ms. M. as she was called by her wards, was an elderly woman who took care of the Ark's orphans. Some said she volunteered to take care of any child who needed a guardian because she had never been able to have any children of her own.

But deep inside, Alex had always felt like Ms. M. volunteered simply because it gave her power over those around her.

"What was she like?" Octavia asked, looking genuinely curious.

Thinking back on Mrs. M's fake sweet smile and soulless dark eyes left a sickening feeling in her stomach. You'd think someone who took care of orphans full time was someone who was charitable and only happy to help. Not a nasty piece of work.

Alex shook her head, a tight smile crossing her lips. "Let's just say that I didn't get along with Mrs. M. She...was strict, and I was a troublemaker. She didn't like how wild I was as a kid."

Octavia studied her for a moment, eyes narrowed.

"I spent most of my time with Nate and - and Liam," she added, staring unseeingly into the fire, remembering how different life had been back then. Her lips twitched as she remembered the pranks they used to pull on the old woman. "We used to make Mrs. M.'s life hell."

"Liam? Oh. Right…" Octavia trailed off before clearing her throat, looking uncomfortable. "And Nate...Nate Miller?" Octavia added quickly, clearly trying to steer away from the topic from Liam. "He's been tagging around my brother quite a bit," she said, then hesitated a second. "He keeps an eye on you, you know," she added softly. "When Murphy went for you last night…he was angry. It's clear he still cares about you."

Alex decided to ignore Octavia's slip up about Liam and instead gave her a doubtful look, thinking back to how Nate had pulled Murphy off of her, had stood in front of her, protected her. It gave her a brief feeling that maybe things could get better between them. At the same time, she couldn't shake the image of disgust and betrayal that had crossed his face when he had seen her for the first time after they'd landed.

"Somehow I don't think it will change too much between us," Alex said, trying to keep the bitterness from her voice. "Some bridges can't be rebuilt."

Octavia scoffed lightly at her comment, rolling her eyes. "Well, they sure as hell can't be if you aren't even willing to try."

Alex gave her an unimpressed stare. "I don't think our problem is something that he'll be willing to forgive and forget. To him, his reaction is entirely justified."

"To him?"

"Look," Alex cut her off. "I appreciate your concern. But I think this is between Nate and me."

Octavia rolled her eyes but nodded. Grabbing a stick beside her, she began prodding the embers of the fire that had begun dying down. The fire crackled and a wave of heat swept over them both as they sat there.

Alex allowed herself to flop back onto the forest floor with a sigh. Talking to Octavia was a good distraction, but at the same time -

She blinked, eyes narrowing as she stared up at the stars. One star in particular was moving exceptionally fast, especially compared to all the others around it. Was it a satellite? She knew that some old one's still rotated around the Earth, doomed to drift in space forever, but this one seemed bigger than the rest.

Sitting up with a frown, she kept her eyes on the bright object. "Do you see that?"

Octavia look startled by her question, stick still held in the fire, before following her gaze upwards. It didn't take her more than a second to see what had caught Alex's eye.

"That doesn't look like a star," she said, her sharp eyes narrowed.

As the object slowly grew in brightness, Alex couldn't help but agree. "No, that's definitely not a star."

Octavia pushed herself to her feet. "I'm going to get Bellamy," she said, then darted back into camp, calling out for her brother as she went.

Alex followed the other girl's example, shoving herself to her feet, but keeping her eyes on the falling object, something about it making her both excited and nervous.

Was the Ark sending them supplies? Or was it something else entirely?

It didn't take long for Octavia's shouts to rouse others in camp and soon Alex was joined by others.

"What do you think it is? Do you think the Ark is finally sending us supplies?" demanded a girlish voice and Alex glanced behind herself to find a shirtless Bellamy, two clearly naked girls wrapped in nothing but blankets. She couldn't help roll her eyes as she turned away from them.

"Oh, I hope they send down shampoo. My hair has been getting grimy!" moaned the other naked girl, Alex realizing it was Roma.

Clear priorities there, Alex thought dryly.

"Screw shampoo. Maybe they're sending us guns!" a boy from the back shouted excitedly.

Alex had to snort at that. "Yeah, right. As if they're going to send a bunch of delinquent's weapons," she muttered to herself, then glanced back at Bellamy, who stood nearby, Octavia at his shoulder. "They could be sending down a radio. I mean, they've probably been trying to get in contact with us as much as we've been trying to get in contact with them. What do you think?"

Bellamy didn't answer her, his eyes glued to the bright object drifting through the night sky.

Something about his expression startled her.

Bellamy Blake looked worried.

For the second time that night Alex stood in Bellamy's tent, although this time for much better reasons.

Arms folded, she watched the discussion taking place in front of her with interest. Bellamy had finally put a shirt on and stood over their only map, which was spread out on the table that had been set up in the middle of his tent. Jones, another delinquent that seemed keen on following Bellamy's lead, stood next to him.

"It looked like it cleared the ridge," Jones was saying, pointing to one area of the map. "Could have landed by the lake."

Bellamy eyed the map but didn't say anything in response.

A rustle of fabric had them all looking towards the door as Octavia ducked through the entrance, eyes dancing with excitement. "We should get moving," she stated to the room in general, although her eyes were on Bellamy. "Everyone's getting ready to go."

"No one's going anywhere," Bellamy said firmly, eyes narrowed as he kept studying the map. Other than the occasional nod and mumble, it was the first real words he'd said since he'd joined them outside.

A startled pause followed him statement.

"What? Why not?" Alex demanded, brow furrowed as she stepped towards him, arms dropping to her sides.

Bellamy looked up at her, expression shuttered. "You heard me. No one goes anywhere, not while it's dark out there. It isn't safe. We'll head out at first light. Pass along the word," he finished, turning towards Jones, his tone leaving no room for argument.

The other boy in the tent hesitated, then nodded before ducking out of the tent.

"But why wait until morning?" Alex eyed him. Something about Bellamy seemed...off.

"Everyone within a hundred miles saw this thing come down," Octavia said, looking equally perplexed by her brother's decision. "What if the Grounders get to it first?" she asked, eyes narrowing up at him. "Bell, we need to go now!"

"The Grounders are the exact reason we need to do this by daylight," he said, avoiding both of their gazes. "We can't have people running through the forest in the dark. Someone else will get injured."

"Grounders will also be a problem during the day," Alex pointed out evenly, shaking her head, dismissing his argument. "I agree with Octavia, we should go now. There could be a radio on there. If we don't go now, we might lose our only chance at contacting the Ark," she tried to reason.

Bellamy seemed fed up of their argument and short them both a firm glare. "This isn't up for debate. I said we wait until sunrise. No one's going anywhere until then, understood?"

Octavia growled, shot him a glare then turned on her heel, storming out of the tent, the flap closing behind her, leaving Alex and Bellamy alone. Bellamy stared after his sister, posture tense.

Alex regarded him for a few seconds before talking. "Why are you so reluctant to go check it out?" she watched him carefully. "You're acting…weird."

"You don't know me well enough to say whether or not I'm acting weird, Evans," he scoffed, scowling at her.

Her eyes narrowed. "Back to Evans, huh? That didn't take long," she snarked, unimpressed. "Look, all I want to know -"

"This isn't about me," he cut her off, ignoring her first comment, turning away from her as he ran a hand through his hair. "This is about what's best for the group." When he turned back to her, his eyes were serious. "Sending someone out there right now could end with them getting hurt - or worse," he said, voice softening. "And I think we've lost enough people for one night, don't you?

At that, Alex faltered. He was right, of course.

Then his hesitation made sense. He didn't want to lose anyone else, not while they were still reeling from Charlotte.

"Oh, right," she said, turning away from him. "That-that makes sense." She hesitated, then headed for the door.

A warm hand on her wrist stopped her, grip firm but soft. She turned back and met Bellamy's concerned gaze.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Alex was momentarily struck by how similar he and Octavia looked when they both asked her the same question. They were definitely siblings.

She exhaled heavily. "Yeah, I guess. As well as I can be," she said, deciding to be honest with him. "I just need something to do, something that will keep me busy."

Bellamy's eyes softened as he watched her. She was startled when his thumb gentling circled the soft skin on the inside of her wrist before he let go, hand trailing up her arm to her shoulder, which he gave a gentle squeeze. "We'll go check it out at first light. I promise. In the meantime, maybe try to get some sleep?"

"Don't think I could sleep right now even if I tried."

Then a hint of a smirk crossed his lips. "If you can't, I'm sure we could find something to do." His hand lightly brushed the side of her neck.

A breathy laugh escaped her, before she rolled her eyes in amusement, reaching up and grabbing his hand, pulling it away from her neck. She appreciated his attempt at distracting her and gave his hand a small squeeze before letting go. "Thanks, but no thanks Blake. I wouldn't want to be 'Girl Number Three' for the night," she smirked, referring to Roma and the other girl he had clearly slept with earlier. Then she leaned towards him until their faces were only inches apart. "I'm first or not at all," she added in a whisper. From this close, she could see the way his eyes darkened and flickered down to her lips, and for a brief, brief moment she considered saying yes.

He's good at distracting. But that's all he would be - a distraction. You can't forget. Not yet. Not ever. Wells and Charlotte deserve that much.

A somber feeling swept through her, taking her brief moment of playfulness with it. Taking a step back, she bit her lip then gave him small a tight appreciative smile. "I should go. Just- just let me know when we're heading out."

He eyed her for a moment, sensing the shift in her mood. Nodding, he let his hand slide from her shoulder. "Of course."

As she ducked out of his tent and out into the chilly night air, Alex paused as she realized she missed the warmth of Bellamy's hand. Shaking her head, she hurriedly zipped up her jacket, pushing the thought away.

But not before briefly wondering what it would have been like if she had taken Bellamy up on his offer.

A/N: How was that? Alex spent some one-on-one with each of the Blake's (although I think Alex could have been a little more one-on-one with Bellamy, if you know what I mean *wiggles eyebrows and smirks*). Please review and make my day!

Anyone see that Jason Rothenberg has begun releasing sneak peeks for season 5? Oh man, I'm super exited! What does everyone think so far? Predictions?

Anon Responses:

Bee-back (x2!): Thanks so much for both reviews! I super appreciate it! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and the aftermath of the mess with Charlotte. Which I'm honestly happy to be passed - moving on to bigger, better things! :)

Jag: Thanks for your review! I love your description of Alex, I found it very accurate. Accurate, yet soft. Determined and deadly. Can't wait to hear what you think of this chapter!