Rapture - The Slow Fall

by Uros Osium

With the truth of Extermination brought to bear the youngest Seraphim makes a choice; if her sister thinks Sinners and the overpopulation in Hell is a danger, then let's solve it. She concocts a plan in record time through desperation and hope. But said plan is mostly good intentions and a wish. And we all know where good intentions lead...

10. Chapter VI (II)

Chapter VI - Part II

Again. This was supposed to be a short thing, around 4k words at most, where Lucifer gets some of his siblings to talk to him, he mentions a fucked up plan, they yell, Charlie calls and things are solved rather quickly. Now it is shy of 18k words long (Ignoring these A/Ns), it explains a lot more shit and, as always, I can't make it short for the life of me. It feels like one of 'Hey momma, look at me!' moments with how fucking big and detailed I wrote it in the end.

I'll have another note at the bottom, (More like a rant, really) and that one will be significant in size, so get ready for it when you get to the end.

Anyway, lettuce begin.

*** Hell. Morningstar Castle ***

At first glance you'd think everything was fine in Lucifer's studio.

His tools were in place.

His duckies were everywhere.

The King was there, hat off to make sure nothing got in the way…

Two portals just big enough to let sound through? Now that was new.

"What the fuck, Lucifer!?"

The scream of Beelzebub, Queen of the Gluttony Ring, was also out of the ordinary.

"I may not be as loud as Bee, but you have to admit this is stupid, Luci."

The much softer, but no less chastising voice of Asmodeus, the Sin of Lust, was also a new addition.

Lucifer let out a long suffering sigh. "What part? The one about Charlie, or the one about the mortal world?"

"Charlie!"

"Charlotte, of course."

Bee was first, but Ozzie was not exactly slow when replying. Lucifer should've seen it coming. This was going to be a shit show. The fact that Satan and Mammon seemed to be busy, that Leviatan wasn't found and that Belphegor was either sleeping one of her work benders, or IN one of her workaholic attacks, had probably saved Lucifer from something worse.

Every Sin had many different views, but almost all of them loved Charlie dearly. Lucifer had been under no illusion of what this would entail during the conversation.

Calling it a discussion would mean there had been a lot less yelling after all.

"Then what do you two propose? After all, you are the only ones to answer my call." Lucifer drummed his fingers on the table, face stoic, though inside he was eating himself even more than his nerves were already. He didn't want to do this either. "I hate the idea just as much as you two. Hell, I am sure no one would be on board."

Beelzebub let out a huff through the communication spell. "Then why propose it anyway?"

"Because, dear Bee, there is one thing Luci is right on." Asmodeus pointed this out with no little resignation in his voice. "If Charlie were to depart from the position of Queen with no heir to claim the throne…"

"I know." Beelzebub hissed through the spell. "The Outsiders would come crashing down on us! Fucking Cthulhu faced motherfuckers."

Beelzebub was incensed, Lucifer could understand. The greatest hope behind all of them when Charlotte and Seviathan got together was not only for a bigger family, as all of them wished Charlie the best (and a lot of cute babies), but also an alliance between the Von Eldritch family and the Morningstar.

Outsiders, you see, aren't entities created by God. With other powers such as Him out there, there are other Creators, and other creatures. Outsiders, like the entities Lovercraft wrote about, are such creations. However, unlike God, these 'Lovercraftian' monsters were made by a much weaker Creator and, in time, its creations came to overpower and devour their maker. Now they roam and invade, far too weak to truly take over real gods' domains, but more than capable of overpowering and devouring a reality here and there.

In a way it was unsurprising that Seviathan came out as the piece of shit he was. Unlike his parents, Seviathan was very proud of his blood as an Outsider, not as a 'demon'. Lucifer knew that, at some point, it would likely end with the young man doing something stupid that'd put both families in an even worse position than they were in.

Lucifer shook his head. A problem for another time. He had far too many of those as of late.

"The only thing protecting Hell from the Outsiders are the barriers Dad dearest erected with my blood as a medium. This is not something we should have to bring up, Bee." Lucifer spoke with a level of terseness in his voice. "Charlie is my only child. It is either she finds someone to add to her love life, or-."

"This wouldn't be a fucking problem if Eve hadn't done what-."

"Bee!"

Asmodeus' portal let through a loud crashing noise that did not surprise Lucifer. No, the King of Hell had grown even darker in his expression, looking down at his hands as he squeezed his hat. Lucifer's hat could probably survive a Seraphim taking a go at his head, but now Lucifer's claws were out and his nervousness and bottled feelings, as well as fear, were testing the ancient, magical fabric as Lucifer scratched at it as one would squeeze a stress ball.

"-rry, sorry, sorry! I am so fucking sorry, Luci!" The voice of Beelzebub made Lucifer snap out of his funk with a gasp and the baste of bile on his tongue. "I may be pissed but that is no excuse! I didn't want to bring her up, I am sorry!"

"As you should fucking be, Bee!" Asmodeus was clearly pissed off. "Eve almost broke Luci last time he visited her. We thought that would never be replicated, then Lilith fucks off! I am angry at this stupid plan too, but you shouldn't say such things."

Lucifer took a gulp of air, trying to calm down. "No… no. Bee is right. This is fine."

There was a second of silence before Asmodeus asked. "Is it?"

"It was my fault too, right? Just like Lilith. Just like I am doing with Charlie." Lucifer sighed as he finally let his hat go. The poor thing began to self repair as quickly as it could. "I pushed her away, I tried to make her think her dream was stupid. I asked all of you to give her next to no support! I am surprised Mammon gave her financial aid at all!"

"Yeah, Mammon can be a massive dick, but is a nice uncle. Sometimes." Asmodeus admitted, but his voice quickly turned vitriolic. "Still need to punch him in the dick after he tried to screw me and Fizz, though."

"But Luci." Beelzebub had a much more subdued tone now. She clearly didn't want another fight. "We all know it wasn't your fault what happened with Eve."

"Wasn't it?" Self hate was evident when Lucifer asked that question. "I should've let the two of them fix things themselves. Lilith was adamant I helped, and I wanted to, but I also knew something would go wrong. We both were the reason Eve ended as she did."

Asmodeus grumbled on his side. "You didn't know things would end up like THAT."

"Perhaps." Lucifer conceded. He didn't know, of course, but self deprecation and depression hardly care about such things. "But everything I try to do ends up in ruin. I suppose this plan is heading the same route."

"That isn't true, Luci." Bee's concern came through the portaal and Lucifer knew the Sin of Gluttony wanted to be there to give him a hug, even if she had been shy of taking his head earlier. "Look, shit happened. We all know it went down badly. But you weren't at fault. You tried to help. However, unlike back then, you know THIS will have consequences. You have very good intentions but this way of doing things is retarded."

Lucifer rubbed his eyes. "I know, Bee, I know."

"By the way…" Asmodeus was very careful as he spoke now. "Since we spoke about… her."

"Yes." Lucifer didn't skip a beat. He couldn't. "I will go visit. It is necessary for this all to work after all."

"Do you…" Bee tried to reach, but it was clearly something pushed back. "Do you want us there? It has been more than two hundred years since you last talked to her. Fuck, it should be three hundred by now. She may be truly gone by now."

Ozzie wouldn't be left behind either. "We know you prefer to go alone, but if you want…"

"No. Thanks." Lucifer was truly thankful, but he needed to go alone for this. "I appreciate your offers but I should go alone. There… There is much to discuss, when I finally go see her. And don't worry, Bee." He sounded forlorn as he let his last words out. "She will be there. All of her."

Asmodeus let out a very sad sigh. "It is such a shame, you know? Lilith would've been devastated all the same when it came to you two not having children, but Eve would've balanced things out. You three could have had such a large family. Even back when we got here, when we got lost in our sins, everyone saw you three as a perfect marriage." Even Asmodeus couldn't lie to the others with a happy, smiling voice. He sounded just as hurt. "Then reality hit like a truck."

Lucifer allowed many memories, many hopes, playing through in his memory. Years, millenia, went by in his mind.

So many possible futures… all squashed.

"I know."

But hopes and dreams did not keep you alive. Actions did.

"I am going to call Charlie."

Gasps came from both sides.

"Luci." Asmodeus warned, not with anger or a negative tone. "Are you sure? Will you tell her… everything?"

"No." Lucifer was adamant here. "I won't tell her about Eve, or the entities the Von Eldritch truly are. I will just tell her the simple truth: I am planning on sending her a few demons to help." He fished the phone from his pocket, trying to keep his nerves from making him puke his guts out and overpower him. "And that I wouldn't mind if any of them were to join the family."

Lucifer could hear Beelzebub's grimace through the portal. "You just have ONE demon, Luci. No one else has agreed to this yet."

"True." Lucifer agreed as he got ready to call. "Neither of you said anything about that. So, any candidates? Or does this go against-"

Before he got an answer, phone in hand, Lucifer almost had a heart attack.

Charlie was calling.

"SHIT!" Lucifer screamed, losing his shit in the most undignified fashion he could. "Charlie is calling!"

"What the fuck?! Why?!" Asmodeus was no less nervous. He was usually far more collected, but this could very well get them all in the shit with Charlie. More importantly: Lucifer wasn't in control. Asmodeus knew this could go to hell in a handbasket if Lucifer felt like everything was going downhill.

"Pick it up, you moron!" Beelzebub pleaded, just as anxious as the other Sins as their emotions all but got sucked into her already nervous mind. "Pick up! Pick up! Pick it up!"

Lucifer did.

"HEY Charlie!" And it was a repeat of her first call in ages, though this time Lucifer burped loudly as his nerves nearly got the best of him. "Ups! Sorry about that, I was, uh, talking with your uncle Ozzie and Bee right now. Your call just, uh, surprised me a bit."

"Dad. I am out of my fucking depth."

Was it luck that Charlie sounded just as nervous or worse than Lucifer? Probably not. This could mean far too many things. At least it managed to calm down the King of Hell a little bit. His daughter came before his own breakdown.

"Woah, wow, wow. Okay Charlie, calm down." Lucifer pleaded as he placed the phone down on the table while making sure it was on speaker. "Look, tell us what is wrong, it'll make it better. Okay?"

"I don't know what to do." Charlie began. Ozzie and Bee had tried to get a word of comfort in, but Charlie had been too fast. "Vaggie is doing like she said: She is being distant, giving me time to think. I know she is troubled beyond reason and I am no better. There are so many things going through my mind that I just cannot concentrate." Charlie took a gulp of air, but she wasn't done. "Razzle and Dazzle are trying to cheer us up, but the poor things seem more lost than anything else. Angel seems conflicted about this whole thing, Pentious doesn't seem to want to go to Earth for whatever reason (I think he is afraid to go back and see how history portrays him), Nifty is FAR too happy with the idea while Husk hasn't said a single thing all day." By now Lucifer could hear her daughter getting closer and closer to either a mental breakdown or hyperventilation. With her both options would end very badly. "Alastor has been out of sight after he said he had things to prepare for and I don't know what to do about anything! My mind is in too many places to work out a plan in any way, dad!"

Fuck.

Lucifer should've expected this. Charlie was many things, but good under pressure? No, not at all. Like father, like daughter, eh?

This made him feel like a fucking dick.

Not only did he dump all that crap on her yesterday, but here he was, making plans behind her back that involved either fucking her up royally, again. Was he really better than depicted in all those religious texts?

"Charlie, calm down." Lucifer didn't know if he was, but at least he wouldn't be a monster to his daughter. He had a moment of weakness, true. But he would make up for it. "Look, tell me: Do you think you can keep up the pace?"

There was a sniffle on the other side of the line. "No… I… I want to, but I don't-don't think so."

Lucifer took a deep breath. "Charlie… I was looking for girls to send your way."

"...!" There was a gasp coming from the phone before Charlie gave her response. Lucifer already heard both Asmodeus and Beelzebub calling him stupid at the very least, so Charlie yelling "Dad! What the fuck!?" didn't surprise him much.

"First: Yes, it is what you are thinking about. I was going to send demons your way in hopes you and Vaggie would be attracted to them. I was also going to be sneaky about it, or try to. There was no plan to tell you about it." To hear the choked sob on Charlie's side of the conversation almost broke Lucifer, but he had to press on. "Charlie. I am telling you this so you understand something very, very important here."

"What the fuck do I have to understand!?" Charlie broke down and yelled. It surprised Lucifer that she didn't waste the phone. Fuck, he had expected Charlie to tap into her own powers and unconsciously open a portal to him to slap his idiotic brain out of his skull. "You were trying to meddle in my life with all of this going on! I don't know if Vaggie will stay with me. I don't know if redemption is possible. I don't know if even the humans will try to do us in! I am afraid, I feel alone and now you are trying to get me mixed with someone so I have a child because I am going to be fucking Queen of all of fucking HELL!"

Lucifer allowed his daughter to scream more, to call him names. He deserved that and then some. Hell, he deserved a beating. He'd take it and then some. This plan of his had no name with how scummy he had acted.

So, he had to give her the offer.

"Charlie."

"WHAT!?"

"Do you remember the day your mother left? I know you were spying on us."

That made the room feel colder than the last Circle of the Pride Ring. The world destined for traitors was an ice wasteland the likes of which no human soul could ever overcome, not even those with powers relegated to such an element and the suffering that came to the subzero temperatures most extreme to all known creation.

It was enough to make Charlie's anger die down, but only slightly. "I…" She gulped as her anger and sadness clashed and mingled. "I do… I didn't know you had seen me."

"I didn't. Your mother and I just felt you, honey. It was a horrid day, but we both knew you were there." Lucifer supplied as much softness with his voice as he could. Again, better not lie. "I… am sure it would've been much worse if you hadn't been there."

"..." Charlie said nothing. Lucifer knew that day had been miserable for her too. It probably marked one of the reasons why she tried her best to stay away from relationships after Seviathan. "What does it have to do with this, dad?"

"Charlotte, dear." At last Beelzebub rejoined the conversation. "Your dad is a moron."

"Aunt Bee!" And Charlie clearly had either forgotten or ignored her father's mention of this. "I… Wait, you were talking with dad about this?"

"We were telling your dear old dad that this was stupid." Asmodeus huffed. "Not… the idea per se, but keeping it hidden."

Charlie let out a strained groan. "Why?"

"Do you really want to know?" Beelzebub asked with clear trepidation. "You have a lot on your plate already, Charlie. The reason behind your father's attempt is noble, let me tell you, otherwise you wouldn't have called first." Though the trepidation left her as Bee's tone became much darker and slightly irate. "Bel would've been calling you from her personal hospital to tell you your dad was in a full body cast."

Lucifer could go so far as to say he heard his daughter raising an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Honey." Asmodeus chuckled as Lucifer heard the large rooster inching close to the portal that carried his voice. "If your dad had tried to force you into anything, every single one of your aunts and uncles would've clovered him until he became a permanent fixture in the ground."

Lucifer is able to hear much of the tense anger in Charlie leave her the next time she speaks. There is still indignation at the very least. "But you were still going to support it?"

"In a way." Beelzebub admits. "Look, your dad wanted all of us to offer someone from our Ring. Someone we work with and that is trustworthy. Someone that can help you first and foremost."

Asmodeus chimed in afterwards. "Indeed. I wouldn't mind one of my Succubi sharing your bed, my dear." The Embodiment of Lust laughed at Charlie's groan. "I still remember the days we spent teaching you about the birds and the bees…"

"PLEASE!" Charlie yelled more in embarrassment than anything else. "Not now!"

This managed to get at least a giggle out of everyone. A very short reprieve, but a needed one. Asmodeus went back to talking after it died down.

"Look, remember the crucial part I taught you? The most important bit of any relationship?" Asmodeus asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "Consent, my dear. It doesn't matter what you want to roleplay as. From the most tame shit to faking rape or even worse. Every scene, every idea, every kink, can be done. We are in Hell! Almost everything goes. And, in some cases, it is even necessary. But only when all parties agree. Darker thoughts fester here in Hell, and for people like us, such thoughts could create only pain ALL OVER Hell."

It took a second for Charlie to get what he meant. "So you are saying I should only accept if I want to?"

Asmodeus could almost be heard nodding, what with how enthusiastic he was. "Of course, Charlie! The help would come in handy, but only if you want to accept it. It is similar to what else could come out of it. But! You already have a girlfriend my dear, even if it is… unfortunate."

"That she is a soul that went to Heaven, right?" Charlie finished for Asmodeus. "... Does Grandpa really do this for a reason?"

"He has reasons, alright." Beelzebub spoke with none of her sweet tone and approach present in her voice this time. "He is a massive fucking dick. Do you know the Goetia are still angels?"

Charlie likely blinked in confusion at this. "Are they?"

"Technically demons thanks to how many rebirths most of them have had." Lucifer supplied, hoping for his daughter not to yell at him again. He was lucky enough for it to be that way. "But they are still angels. It is one of the reasons why I made sure none of them pushed to get close to you, Charlie. Among the Sins I am the only one that Father didn't punish like Lilith; I could have had an angel at my side and have children with them, but none of those children could inherit Hell because two different angelic bloodlines would've countered each other. Your aunts and uncles? They'd end up having the same problem as your mother did with me."

"The rest of us got shafted, simply put." Asmodeus growled bitterly, likely catching Charlie's attention. "None of us could ever be with a fellow immortal. If we wanted a relationship that could end with children? We would need to be with a hellborn, or humans. The human idea was shot down very quickly when Heaven sent an emissary telling us NOT to ever bring a human lover, or else. So we were left with only the hellborn. They are longer lived than humans, true, but that would mean we would outlive all our lovers if nothing else. So in the end we were fucked either way."

"As for those poor assholes? The Goetia are fucked." Beelzebub was the one to give the last of the details Charlie was curious about. "They can live forever, unless shit goes down. And since they aren't as resilient as us Sins, they have died a LOT. Funny, because they are trapped in Dad's little fucking game and go back to square one when their souls await for a 'new' Goetia to be born. Fuck, in the last millenia we could probably count around ten to twenty REAL new Goetia among their number." Bee sounded disgusted or exasperated, Lucifer didn't know which. "They likely no longer remember that they keep to their own species because that is the only way their souls can come back after they die."

The conversation died down for a moment, giving Charlie a minute or two to digest it. By the time she was done she did have more questions.

"But… aren't you, aunt Bee, and uncle Ozzie, with someone right now?" And a good question it was indeed.

"Yes." Asmodeus supplied, a lot of his happiness returning to him. "You did meet my dear Fizzie after all."

"I still need to get Vortex to meet ya." Beelzebub hummed, the buzz of her wings coming through the portal. "It would be nice to introduce him to the family. He may be a hulking hound, but he is damn nervous about the idea."

"But." Asmodeus made sure to explain before Charlie could get confused. "We did this because your dad found a way to make things fair for all involved."

"He did?" Charlie sounded surprised. "I mean. How?"

"It is similar to how I made sure you survived, Charlie." Lucifer spoke with fondness and a mix of sadness and happiness mixed in. This made Charlie pay more attention than she would've offered her father after his admission before. "The way I broke a piece of my soul to keep you with us. I didn't tell you this yesterday, but I tried because my soul had already been broken in Heaven once before. Unfortunate, but it gave me experience with how it could be done without it being (most likely) fatal."

"It did?" For a second Charlie's still burning anger at her father faded. "When did that happen? During the war?"

"Yes." Lucifer did his best to push those memories away. "A fragment of me was left behind. I was luckier than many others, but unluckier than the survivors. Still, with that experience in my past I did have easy access to my soul and a few loose pieces itching to form a new one." There was a great level of fondness in his voice, Lucifer would've needed to fight against everything in him to hide it. He didn't know if Charlie would notice, angry (and with good reason) and all, but it was there. "Anyway. In the case of Ozzie and Bee? Their solution will be less extreme; it involves a lesser loss of power and danger, true. But both were still present, as we are talking about the soul. Not that the ritual is complete, but both Asmodeus and Beelzebub have separated a bit of themselves already.."

Charlie could be heard humming in thought for a second. "So… Will Fizzaroli be immortal?"

"Just like little old me. When he accepts of course." Asmodeus chuckled, but the mirth died down quickly. "It… it wasn't an easy decision, though. He still needs to accept everything that comes along with it."

Before Charlie could ask, Beelzebub added her two cents. "Same with Vortex. Fizzaroli and him have one thing in common: No family. They have friends, yes, but no stronger connections than that, and even then the loss that comes with it is a harsh one. Immortality is not exactly a gift, Charlie. We all know it, so do you. Or, well, you WILL. You are still too young to fully understand what it does to you to be immortal."

Lucifer could only nod at that. Charlie hadn't always been the friendliest person around, for many reasons. That phase she went through early in life was a good example. As such she hadn't formed too many relationships that would have perished with time. But after her youthful bout ended? Well, Lucifer knew sooner or later she'd be friends with someone that could die of old age, not from Hell's regularly scheduled violent outbursts.

In Hell it is very rare not to learn just how cruel life can be, in fact it often happens very early in life. For Charlie? It had yet to happen. The worst she got was the year she spent trying to push everyone away as a child, when one of her nannies passed away from natural causes. A rarity in the Morningstar castle. It hit her like a truck, but it was the ONE time, as Charlie didn't have to go through that ever again after.

Lucifer pushed that memory away. It wasn't a happy one, like many of those stored in his mind. Thinking about what would happen the next time Charlie suffered through something similar wasn't exactly going to help.

"That is why we just had a few flings here and there, but also no children." Asmodeus brought Lucifer away from those thoughts easily enough. "Best case scenario? Unless we have offspring with a fellow immortal, my dear Charlie, our children would live a long, long time, but they would pass away. To us, all seven of the Sins, our only hope was the Goetia. Dear old Father made it impossible."

"So when Luci risked everything to do what he did, and succeeded? We had hope." Beelzebub added with very little of her usual flair. "Charlie, dear. We may be the Sins, and we are ALL fucked up in some way." She let out a chuckle. It wasn't self deprecation if it was right. "But none of us, not even at our worst, wanted to have someone at our side that would just DIE on us. Much less have to bury our children. We all wanted family though. We all-." Beelzebub shut up for a second and Lucifer heard his daughter wince.

Unsaid went the fact that Lucifer had already 'buried' enough of his own children to make the other Sins never want to try their own hand at it. Charlie likely thought that was what had made her aunt shut up. Lucifer just hoped that, if the truth came out, Beelzebub wouldn't be hit too hard.

At least the Queen of Gluttony felt ready to talk again if nothing else. "Point is: We have partners now because they consented to a curse, in a sense. Thanks to this, if we want to ever make children, they'd be just like us." Beelzebub went on. "In a way that is why most of us were happy when you got together with Seviathan. Though that quickly went to shit." And her mirth along with it as she said the fucker's name.

"Yeah…" Charlie grimace on the other end of the call. "But wait… Seviathan is truly immortal? I… don't think that ever came up. I just thought his family was really long lived, like stupidly long."

"That is not an important detail right now." Asmodeus made sure to cut that line of thought before Lucifer had to get involved. Better him talk than get Charlie agitated again. "Look, we went into a tangent for a reason."

"... Consent?" Charlie ventured, though her tone made it clear she didn't want to say more.

"Yes. Charlie, let's be real, we avoided interacting much with you when it came to the hotel because… Well, you have seen what happens with Heaven." Asmodeus' frown could be felt, almost literally, by everyone else in the call. "It was wrong of us, yes, but that time your dad's plan was sound. We wanted you to desist. But we didn't want to FORCE you to do it. You have a big heart, but you saw not everyone in Heaven shares that quality. We didn't want to squash your dreams or make you think we had a bias just because our family split apart so many millennia ago."

Heck, everyone nodded, or hummed their affirmation. Even Charlie offered a weak and very meek 'yeah'.

"Had we ever learned about a new angel, Winner or not, making their way to Hell? We would've been there in a second. More so because it had to do with you, Charlie. You went into a relationship that was doomed to be painful without knowing and consenting to the hardships and pain involved. That is not to say we would push you away or anything, just that this sucks." Beelzebub added after everyone agreed with Asmodeus. "The situation you are in is NOT fair, hon."

Charlie let out a very frustrated sigh. "No… no it isn't."

"Your father has shared his memory of the event with us." Beelzebub went on. Whether this displeased Charlie or not was unknown to all, not even Lucifer got a word from Charlie as Bee let this news hang on for a second. "I know his spying wasn't exactly nice either, but after looking through it all I can tell you are truly in love with the girl, faults and all. If we go back to the base idea of consenting this: I wholeheartedly believe you would've likely fallen for Vagatha. Even if she had told you the whole truth from the start you would've pursued her, I know this. You two sound perhaps not perfect, but a great couple without any doubt."

"Vaggie is…" Charlie had a moment of weakness, the Sins clearly aware that she was trying not to let her emotions win. "She is special… We had our first proper fight, I think, but I love her, aunt Bee."

"And we all know this. You won't find any of us against the idea, I am sure." Beelzebub had both Lucifer and Asmodeus quickly agreeing with her. The rest of the Sins? Most likely would feel the same, for their own good. "And… we all know that not everyone is really alright with having more than one partner. I mean, I-"

"Don't start lying now." Asmodeus teased, his grin could be heard through the call. "You are a fan of orgies."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Beelzebub's screeching, embarrassed voice broke through the call, much to Asmodeus' enjoyment. She managed to recover her composure quickly enough. "AS I WAS SAYING; not everyone is made for that kind of relationship. If I had been there to meet Vagatha in person I could use my feelers and see… As it stands now, I can only tell you that she is starved for emotional support, even after having you in her life, Charlie. She was always confused if the story she told you was true, and this hasn't changed in the afterlife. She may or may not feel attraction to men, but it is clear that traditional ones won't work. And after her experiences while alive? I doubt she'd ever want to try. If you add the kind of relationship she had with an all woman company of soldiers… It is a surprise she got close to you at all. At that point I would've been willing to be the whole lot of Gluttony on Vagatha remaining alone and afraid of being close to anyone else ever again." Bee's grimace could almost be felt through the portal. "My best guess is that you were more than just a breath of fresh air, my dear Charlie. So this kind of dilemma may be… a bit too much."

Charlie let out a groan. "Look, aunt Bee, uncle Ozzie." She took a breath. "Dad." And let that word out with some iron and anger still there. "I don't-I haven't spoken with Vaggie about children, or a lot of things. We never even spoke about marrying and stuff. It was always the plan, redemption, the hotel, making everything better, or speaking about me so she'd know me better." That last part came out with some pain. "I should've prodded a little more. I learned things, but just the surface, what little she was comfortable sharing. I know I hate to be pushy, but maybe I-."

"Charlie." Lucifer began. He wished he could be there in person, even if Charlie were to slap him for his stupidity. "You know that isn't your fault. You are a nice, accepting young gal. You gave Vagatha time and space. Even if you had dated a normal Sinner you would've done it the same way. People that end up in Hell are always… damaged. Sometimes it is damage of their own making, sometimes it is damage done to them. I know you would've done your best no matter what."

"Maybe." Charlie admitted, but it was clear she was still hurt, Lucifer knew. "But dad… I love her. I love her dearly. If she isn't on board with this, then it won't happen. And I refuse to partner with someone just to have a child."

"Charlie, none of us are asking you to do that." Lucifer said with a cautious tone. "I would never ask you for that. I know my initial plan was sneaky, scummy even, but I would NEVER force you to be with someone. Hell, you heard your aunt and uncle: I would be lynched. Not that they'd need to because I would sooner off myself than hurt you like that."

"You better not." Charlie almost growled through the phone. "Dad, I-" Charlie paused before she began. Lucifer could hear her smacking her lips, licking her teeth, shuffling her feet. Charlie was not nervous, she was terrified. "The last day… the last day mom was here. I… I remember it so vividly. I saw how she almost hit you."

Lucifer's claws scraped the table. A table that would've been almost as hard to damage as the damn pearly gates.

That was not a memory he wanted to relive.

Lilith and him had been so in love since forever, literally. The only black dot in there had been the failure with Eve, how her anger and resentment focused on the two she could reach. Lilith had always shown him patience and love before and after that. Banishment and the suffering of his friends, allies and, in general, his people, as well as the failure of his desire to help humanity, had made him grow so depressed and mentally frail so much of the time…

And Lilith had been there. For eons.

Then, as if a dam, a sturdy one, a perfect one, had been left unattended for just as long, it broke.

At first it was scorn and sarcasm. Then it transformed from soft aggression to yells and demands for him to get his shit together. Then, that last day, Lilith raised her hand.

She never struck him. Lucifer was sure she couldn't, or at least he hoped she wouldn't. He wouldn't have defended himself if she did, but to this day he wanted to believe that what he saw, how she forced it all to come out, had been the truth. There had to be *something* else there.

There had to…

Or perhaps… he had finished the relationship by being weak.

"Luci…" Bee could be heard, her voice echoing the same feelings Lucifer had in his heart. "You never told us that."

"What would it have mattered?"

Lucifer tried his best to keep appearances as he spoke. This was going to hurt him before. Deserved, really. It probably wasn't Charlie's plan to stab him in the feels like that, but Lucifer took it with grace, because he deserved that kind of slap and then some.

"I… I thought you told them." Charlie sounded horrified though. Fuck, another stellar moment from the best dad ever.

"Look, Charlie. My brothers and sisters sometimes hate each other, or me. Sometimes we love each other like the best of family. Fuck, we have broken each other's bodies to the point of needing decades of recovery. Heck, even your mother and I had a few physical fights. But it was never, NEVER, the situation you saw me and your mom before she left. It-it's complicated." Lucifer spoke, trying to wash away the guilt and the sadness in him. "But they didn't need to know that my own wi-ex wife almost made it physical while I was begging on my damn knees. They didn't need to know that it wasn't a playfight in which we broke each other, or a stupid dispute in which we sent each other to Belphegor's Ring to recover while laughing and jabbing each other." Strange perhaps, but those were great memories now tarnished with what could've been in that last day together. "Then again, what harm can it do now? Better air it out." And it was true. It wouldn't have done anything and since they now knew enough, let's put all chips on the table. "None of them deserved to be angry or hunt for your mother, or have even more shit piled on top of it all. Fuck, I am sure it would've made Ozzie think twice about Fizzaroli."

Asmodeus let out a small, meek sound of affirmation. "I am ashamed to say I almost did call Fizzy for a 'talk' when Lilith left. Despite everything else, she stayed with you. When Fizz accepted my proposition I was over the moon, but when Lilith up and disappeared…"

And another stab to the heart. Lucifer was beyond elated to learn this truth, really. He almost fucked someone ELSE's love life. Not intentionally, but hey! Who the fuck cares anymore?

"I love Fizz dearly, don't get me wrong. And we have talked things out. I hardly mind being 'the woman' in the relationship, quite literally when the time comes to make a little Princess or Prince of Lust in the future." The way Asmodeus let it drop didn't surprise Lucifer, or Beelzebub. The gasp from the phone told everyone Charlie received the news differently. "But we all know how bad this has been when we have tried to approach… others."

"I don't."

Charlie recovered incredibly quickly. It either was a self defense mechanism at this point or she was curious for real. Probably both.

Beelzebub groaned. "Look, Charlie, honey. You already have a lot on your mind-."

"I want to know why it is so important that I have a kid." Charlie stressed. "I want to know -WHAT THE FUCK- I have been missing." And her voice was growing very even and uncaring to the point of mimicking her mother before the breakup. "I want to know EVERYTH-."

"If you ever abdicate after you get the throne, without someone to pick up the load, everything ends." So, fuck it. Why not? Lucifer went and said it.

"... Excuse me, what?"

When everyone else sucked in a breath it left Lucifer as the one to just disembowel this situation. Because holy fuck it had gone off track.

"This position was a punishment, Charlie." And while not the best start, Lucifer was going to own it. "When I was thrown here, when your mother was made unable to bear my children, this position was nailed on me as a FOREVER kind of situation. I was NEVER meant to leave it. Father made sure I wouldn't: No matter how I had gone and done 'what I always do' and disappointed Him, God still had a plan for me. So long as I, my magic, powers Hell, things that God hasn't created, entities from other Creators, won't come in and ravage this reality. Dear old Dad made sure it would remain so because He used His powers and MY blood to keep it all as He intended." There, he said it. Charlie wasn't speaking so he added another bit. Why not go for broke? "Hell. The thing I am going to protect you from? If you leave the throne, if you don't have a biological child to become the next regent, those barriers will be worth less than nothing. So hey! Don't you worry: The end times will only happen if God's mumbo jumbo stops working because our regal behinds don't control Hell."

Lucifer heard how his daughter just fell into a heap. That was probably what the sound meant. There was likely no other explanation.

He hoped.

At least lying on the floor was better than jumping off a window. It wouldn't do anything to Charlie, but the people at the hotel did not need to know any of these details. Vaggie? Maybe. Everyone else? FUCK NO.

Much less the Radio Fucker. Lucifer wanted none of this reaching his ears.

"... Is this why a lot of people throughout history called you both jailer and inmate, dad?" The question was soft. It was as if the anger had been gut punched out of Charlie's lungs for now.

"Eh, I think that was mostly mortals shitting on me because of bad propaganda. Then again, we have this situation still going, so I dunno if they were all that wrong, eh?" Lucifer could literally see the eyes of both Asmodeus and Beelzebub boring holes into his very soul. "Okay, no more attempts at jokes."

"And…" Charlie grimaced, Lucifer knew she was. "What about that thing 'you all know' about? I… I think it has to do with this."

"Yeah…" Beelzebub was the one to speak, because it mostly had to do with her. "Charlie, your dad said he'd accept it if you adopted, right?"

Everyone could picture Charlie preparing herself for something horrible. She wasn't really wrong for doing so. "Yeah?"

"I… would recommend you don't."

Then came shuffling and Charlie likely sitting on the bed. "Why?" Though after some of the previous points Lucifer knew his daughter already knew 'why'.

"Most of us have tried having flings and fun, you know? As we said though, nothing serious. We couldn't stomach the idea." Beelzebub offered, not that it was a surprise. "Eternity sucks when alone, but we made sure to never get attached. Until Luci managed to keep you and raise you, we thought we were all screwed. There was no way to have our children be immortal without both parents having that quality, so none of us really wanted to try going that far. Fuck, as I said before: Having a kid, only for them to die and for us to bury, would've broken us." Bee took a deep breath. This was likely going to fuck her up, Lucifer knew. The memories weren't pleasant. "Until I felt the loneliness eat at me. I hoped. I tried. And you know what? I was right. It nearly fucking broke me."

"Aunt Bee?" Charlie found herself without breath, it was easy to hear it through the phone. "Did you… have children before?"

"Yeah. I am the only one that did, other than your dad." Beelzebub let out a laugh. A sad sounding bark more than anything else. "It… it didn't go well. Immortality is more like a necessity for us, Charlie. At first we didn't know just how much an angel needs immortality to just exist. My firstborn, my son just… couldn't sustain himself in my womb. I… tried a few more times. It always ended the same. I doubt-don't think they would've lived very long anyway if they came to term, I-"

Beelzebub stopped talking. Perhaps for the better. Charlie didn't have the heart to ask again and Lucifer didn't think this conversation was going to hurt every single damn person involved. He was just racking points today.

"None of us knew if it would be as bad for us as it was for Bee." Asmodeus decided to pick up the slack. "Bee tried adopting after that fell through. She was desperate for familial love. It was something she felt missing, something eating at her, and she was desperate enough that she ignored the rest of us when we told her doing it this way was downright selfish and, likely, would hurt her." If Charlie wanted to know, then he could deliver. Beelzebub was clearly not going to get involved in this anymore for a few. "First time went… pretty well. Kid grew up to be quite the decent sort… his descendants? Not so much."

"They tried to blackmail Bee thanks to their connection to her after three or four generations. It brought her to tears to have to cut ties and punish the family according to their crime." Lucifer supplied. The understanding, if the hissing was anything to go by, did not exactly satisfy Charlie. "Bee tried many more times. It went horribly bad in various other ways. Things came down to manipulation or emotional blackmail most of the time. The worst outcome? Everything went great."

"How… How can that be worse?" Charlie couldn't comprehend. "Why would that be a thing?"

"Charlie. Again: We live forever." Asmodeus wasn't going to beat around the bush and, hey: Lucifer wasn't the one supplying this bombshell. So he wasn't going to stop Ozzie. "Do you know most of the people that work for us have been doing so for generations? At first we saw them as people. While originally demons were less, eh. How to say it? Less 'than they are now'? No. Less civilized? Yes, that works. While they weren't as civilized, they did grow to be very similar to humans. In time we found them to be our equals, in a sense. That… led to getting attached." Asmodeus made it sound so wrong for reasons Lucifer understood, but Charlie likely wouldn't, yet. "Even with their long lifespan, even if they survive Hell and its people's natural penchant for brutality, we saw them die year after year. With time it wore us down."

Lucifer remembered the first years. He also remembered the first few millennia, and how things slowly changed.

It also brought back memories of so many people they all had gotten close to. And how full the underground tombs were in each Sin's private land. Charlie had asked, long ago, about that, but this was one thing she probably realized now that Lucifer heard a gasp through the phone.

"That… sounds horrible." Charlie said and no one denied her words. It was worse back when this all was still fresh. Everyone was desperate for companionship. Which led to their views changing down the line. "But then…How did things change?"

"We ended up seeing most of them as pets, Charlie." Lucifer offered the dirty truth. Lying was clearly not going to work, so why bother? "From people, to pets. It didn't help that society was not exactly opposed to that back then. Remember: It was an ungodly long time ago."

Charlie let out a groan of dissatisfaction through the phone. "Is…" She made a pause. Charlie was going to refute the fact that everyone here clearly thought it would happen to her. Instead, she asked with some trepidation. "Do you think that is what would happen to me?"

"It is likely." Asmodeus didn't sound like he liked the idea, but it was not impossible. "I am sorry to say this, I know it hurts you to hear, but it is a strong possibility, Charlie. It is a way to numb the pain, even if it was dehumanizing. Take Bee for example. And sorry, sis, but you are a perfect example." There came a choked complaint, but Beelzebub said nothing else. "Those I mentioned last? The ones where everything was almost perfect? She had to cut ties with the two families she managed to raise because that is how it ended up: She began to treat them as her own forever puppies. When she managed to realize her behavior, she had to end it and let them live outside of the literal hive she made for them." That was a very fucked up memory, even for their family. Lucifer didn't want to go down that rabbit hole. "It doesn't matter how much you want it to be otherwise: We are eternal, unless something happens. We either distance ourselves, harden ourselves, or… things change in ways we don't want. At some point our perception warps because we see people we love die year after year, and that either desensitizes you, or corrupts your way of seeing things in one way or another."

And the almost silent, choked gasp that got to everyone's ears was enough to tell them Bee both didn't forget and didn't forgive herself for that. The Sin of Gluttony clearly wasn't going to stop Asmodeus from talking, Charlie wanted honesty. Asmodeus at least made it brief.

"Charlie. You have a huge heart, but if you adopt, and things go well, you'll see that family die and grow in a cycle that will, sooner or later, get to you. At some point you will have a hard time seeing them as family, then as people, because otherwise your heart will break. Even if, like us, you manage to relearn how to do it, I know you won't forgive yourself for doing so. But believe me, dear; eons make you change time and time again. It won't be pretty, and I know I sound horribly cruel, but this is me warning you and nothing else: I recommend that you scrub that idea right away."

Well. Here he was. Lucifer had fucked up royally, but he had delivered Charlie all she needed to know both to hate him and, as he had wanted her to, harden up.

Bang up job? Sure. The price was likely having her not talk to him ever again, but he got what he wanted. Right?

Lucifer would've preferred to assault Heaven by his lonesome right now. Yeah, it sounded less painful.

"... You said you had people to send me, dad?"

Wait? What the fuck?

"Eh… Yes? I mean, no. Okay, let me explain." Lucifer tried to regain some semblance of authority and, to be honest, to look like he knew what the fuck he was doing. "I have one; Claudia. An Imp. She is one of the castle's most recent staff, the secretary kind."

One of the few things Lucifer had to be proud of, other than Charlie, was this: His people were the best and most loyal all around. All positions in his castle, and all workers that were tied directly to him, were well paid, treated and specifically selected among those that were considered to be, in very blatant and brutal terms 'Less shit than everyone else'. This did not mean skillswise, as Lucifer's people made sure to prepare everyone for their positions, but more along the lines of temperament, corruption and so on. Simply put: Lucifer did not tolerate anyone doing fuckery under his name. This opinion of his had been cemented in the early ages of Hell and it perdured. So what if they started at the job being crap? Lucifer believed in self perfection: All of his employees would get good with time and take PRIDE in their growth, as they should.

Except for his 'secretaries'.

His secretaries not only kept paperwork organized and everything on schedule, they also made sure he ate, bathed and did most things he sometimes got far too busy (Read: Lost in his own world, at least during his depression) to do. How? Usually by badgering him to do it until he did. Lucifer could be aloof all he wanted, but he had made sure to keep his servants out of his 'high and mighty' routine when they had a reason to poke him.

It was funny, because his secretaries were the last ones you'd think would pick a stick and poke Lucifer, telling him 'You stink, boss take a shower!'. They were generally picked amongst the most mellow, stick in the mud fellows in Hell, as well as some of the most loyal to Lucifer, or at least the more 'mythical' figure of Lucifer of ages past. But perhaps that is exactly why they did it: They wanted Lucifer to be his best and show everyone that he was the mighty (albeit short) ruler of Hell in all aspects of the word.

Then again it was trueLucifer had very little contact with most people, including his workers, but his secretaries were few and far in between anyways. His pick came from a very small pool of candidates, and he thought it sensible enough that only those closest to him and loyal to the family would indeed be the perfect pick to send his daughter.

Clearly his daughter disapproved, at least now that she knew of the plan.

Charlie spoke again, neutral still, though Lucifer could hear her questioning glare at the phone. "So just 'a girl', like you said?" Her words made it clear: She didn't trust him. "I thought you'd try something to get me to have a child the traditional way."

"Okay, fine. So… not quite a traditional woman? Claudia was born with 'everything', like some Imps do." Lucifer cleared the air just in case. This was one of those details that were important to mention.

Now Charlie was just deadpaning. "So I was right. She has something extra."

"All my other secretaries have been working with me for decades and all have families. I may be a dick but I won't rope a WHOLE family into this." Lucifer huffed with a groan. "Claudia is the newest one, and the only one I have been able to procure in almost thirty years. I haven't exactly been out there, talking with people, Charlie."

"Dad, I don't care that she has 'extra bits'. Vaggie may, I don't know!" Charlie groaned, Lucifer knew she was rubbing the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "Just… Look, let's take a step back. Why did you tell me this as if you had more than one?"

Lucifer looked at both portals at his sides. Time to throw everyone under the bus it seemed. "The idea was to get your aunts and uncles to provide people with skill sets, and that you may like, for this plan."

"... I see." Charlie took a deep breath. "And you just got aunt Bee and uncle Ozzie…" She made a short pause. "Are either of you going to add something?"

"No." Beelzebub was so fast to answer, and so harsh in her tone, that it even pushed Charlie's own bad mood back. "I know there is a reason of merit to try and have you become either a mom or a dad, but I don't condone this. I… It took so many thousand years for me to *really* find someone, Charlie, to have this solution your dad provided. Even if that wasn't the case, I couldn't do this, for many reasons."

At this Charlie was more curious than anything, if only for her aunt. But she was clearly still angry. "What reasons?"

"All the people I know and trust are Hellhounds." And while Beelzebub didn't have it in her tone, the question had clearly been funny to her. She didn't know why Beelzebub wasn't going to send a hound her way? "You are in constant contact with someone that hates them. Not only that; most of my people know about partying, how to run food industries and are heavily involved in the adoption business, even if the legal system fucked up the Pride section of it."

"Yoooou know that isn't exactly the case." Lucifer had to point it out. This was, sadly, the after effects of some of those Beelzebub had gotten close to.

"I. Know. Luci. And I still have to find the asshole that got those 'adoption centers' past you and me both." And Beelzebub was clearly not in the mood to be reminded of it all. Better not explain it to Charlie, or so Lucifer thought. "Look, point is: I don't have anyone that could be useful to you right now, Charlie. I highly doubt any of the expertises I mentioned may be crucial to you. And I refuse to send someone that could entice you or your girlfriend just because they are cute or some shit. Add that you have that Alastor with you…"

"So Alastor does hate dogs, huh?" Charlie mushed.

This had been one of the things that had been running freely in her mind since they met with Loona, Lucifer knew it. It had caught her by surprise that Alastor almost resorted to violence on a woman for simple pettiness. There had to be something there, and Lucifer didn't need to be who he was to know.

"What about you, uncle Oz?" Apparently Charlie shelved that thought for later. There were far too many to go through anyway.

"... I am willing to part with one of my girls." Asmodeus quickly raised his voice before Charlie said a thing. "And before you say anything! I was going to ask you if you wanted her in your employ after your father told me of the current situation, not this mess of a plan he had half baked."

"Gee, thanks Ozzie."

"Dad." Charlie warned. Lucifer knew he was on thin ice by now, but he just kept fucking up. "Now, uncle Oz. What do you mean?"

"Her name is Gina, and she is one of my youngest designers." Asmodeus began with a tentative tone. "When I first heard about this plan on Earth I thought about her. She is extremely mellow, shy and horribly nerdy, and I do mean 'horribly'." He let out a chuckle. "She fits the bill, at least for a human; a magical condition that makes her need glasses almost as big as my own secretary (Bless her soul, I put her through so much shit), loves to dress up for plays or roleplay, and I do mean GAMING roleplay, almost incapable of talking to anyone she is interested in and almost a shut in, which for a Succubus is quite an accomplishment, and not in a good sense. Sadly her parents probably saw how much of a 'bad' Succubus she'd make, and they probably were traditionalists of their kind: You need to be a massive whore, have sex all the time and be pregnant or knock up anything that moves on the regular. Seeing their daughter have 'defects' from birth was probably too much for them; Gina grew up in one of the orphanages in the Lust Ring. I didn't pry of course, I just know one of my employees found her doing some street acting and showing off her costumes, thought she had talent and brought her to me. I learned most of this from her and a background check."

Charlie let out a humm. "That is… I'll admit I don't know as much as I should when it comes to Hell's native population." Despite her clear upset, Charlie sounded a bit guilty here. "With all of you in charge, I always thought my time was better spent trying to help Sinners."

"Oh, and we understand my dear. Human souls haven't been cared for in ages. Though you cannot tell us that all of them are nice to have as neighbors." Charlie let out a small grunt in response to her uncle's prod. "But that is another point: Gina is attracted to Earth culture, at least its entertainment and creativity. She is also very fastidious with clothing and the like, as a good designer should. Considering you are meant to have a lot more duties now, ignoring your future position and, well, I thought her help would come in handy to lighten your load."

At least Ozzie knew how to get some appreciation of Charlie, Lucifer would admit that. "Thank you, uncle Ozzie." And she even sounded more calm. "Though… now that I think about this. Won't Succubi get a target on their back?"

Huh, that was a good point, one Lucifer hadn't thought about himself. Asmodeus clearly had, though.

"I won't lie: That is another reason why I thought about offering you Gina's services. And since you did bring up the lack of knowledge you still have on our charges, let me remind you:" And everyone present in the conversation could hear Asmodeus' grimace. Not at the trivia, but at Charlie knowing so little. Lucifer could understand: Charlie would need to learn so much in so little time. "Succubus either feed directly, or from transfers of human lust. Other than regular food, they need it. Any creature's lust will do, but most animal lust, if you are into that, or even demonic lust, is not as potent thanks to their nature as more sinful creatures by default. A lack of human lust may drive many Succubi to assault others if the reserves run low. It should not happen, but the possibility is there." Lucifer was sure the common demon would fault him for this, certainly would target Charlie if it ever happened. Lucifer was sure of it. Besides, Asmodeus sounded not only sincere, but very worried, about the possibility, even when trying to downplay it. "Gina will never try to approach a human, she barely does that with other demons. But she is a perfect, harmless face for her kind. If you do take her in she could serve as the poster girl of how safe it is to be and how Succubi have been made to look dangerous through myth and vilification."

Charlie let out a word of confirmation, though Lucifer didn't hear her real answer. He was thinking about certain ramifications he had been ignoring about this business on Earth. Blitzo speaking about his business, and the disruption of many others, was just the tip of the iceberg.

He was brought out of those mushings by Charlie. "And what about you, dad?"

Okay, okay. Here was his chance to sell this, at least to a point. He could do this and perhaps save some face. Or at least not piss his daughter even more.

"Claudia is very much like all my secretaries picked to deal with me; soft spoken, but very duty bound and bullheaded in getting the job done. Loyal to the Morningstars and always willing to help around. For an Imp? She is a coward and abhors violence. She prefers to be orderly, tidy and think things through more than becoming an angry ball of emotions. Surprising, considering her species, or not so much, since she lived in the castle from a young age."

"She is one of those the staff picks up after Extermination?" Charlie had some sincere curiosity there. "I thought that stopped long before mom left." And Charlie didn't need to mention Lilith's mood having long soured by the time that yearly dose of help died down.

"Of course not." Lucifer couldn't help but let the obvious upset shine in his voice. "It wasn't just your mother's idea, Charlie. Neither of us likes how so many kids get left behind, or lose their parents before and after Extermination. A lot of people use those days as an excuse to be massive monsters, I shouldn't need to tell you this. And after what I shared with you yesterday? You should know the idea of letting a child suffer is not exactly one I enjoy."

Charlie had the dignity to be at least somewhat abashed when she next spoke up, but the anger at Lucifer was still there. "So she is a more servile and gentle Imp? It… would be a better pick to have her as an example, instead of Blitzo's people. Not perfect, considering she probably represents the other stereotype." She didn't have the heart to say 'slave', but it was implied. "But if she is this dutiful she'll be a good help to explain her kind's side of things too. She will know far more than I do, that is for sure."

"So…" Lucifer couldn't help it. He gulped so loudly it probably was heard in Sloth. "Do you-?"

"Dad. No." Charlie hardened almost instantly. "I want to let something off my chest, okay?"

Lucifer almost cowed at this. Both Asmodeus and Beelzebub were now waiting with bated breath. It was very likely that Charlie's rarely seen anger, and Lucifer meant REAL anger, could flare up.

Instead, Charlie sounded just disappointed. "I still cannot believe you were going to go behind my back with this." And the beginning alone made Lucifer feel like shit, as he should. He knew he deserved it. "I get it, you know? Now more than I did yesterday. I knew you didn't have your heart in it when you told Vaggie and me about adoption. I know you wouldn't mind the idea, but there was something weird behind it and now I know why. I know that you worry, that you think it is too much for me, that ALL of this is too much." She made a pause, likely biting her lower lip in worry as she admitted the truth: Lucifer was right. "It is. Okay dad? It is too much. This has grown beyond everything I thought possible and I am going to be put in a position I really never felt I could fill."

"But you have to stop lying and hiding things." Charlie's frigid tone made Lucifer wince. "Just stop it. I am no longer a child and this… situation… You made it clear it is going to be a huge weight on me. It is crushing me. I don't need YOU, or anyone else, adding more to it by LYING or planning shit BEHIND MY BACK. I want people I can trust. I want my family and friends. I don't want this conspiracy to toughen me up for some horrible future if I don't play all of this 'just right'. I know we are all damn screwed, dad. I don't want what little freedom I may have to just… disappear because my own father thought it better to push me towards the path of an iron queen or something."

"Charlie…" Lucifer thought his daughter would stop him, but when she didn't, when she waited for him to talk, he found the will to at least explain himself. "I have never wanted to hurt you, but I never knew how to be a father, a good one."

The admission didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. This was the truth, one that had made him feel like shit from day one. Now? It was just obvious for all to see. Facts couldn't hurt anymore than they did already.

"I'll admit the best moment in my career as a dad was making sure you could come to life." Lucifer let out a small 'heh'. There was a tug at his soul as he could feel his family members, from daughter to siblings, hanging to every word. "I thought I'd fuck up so many times. Surprise, surprise - I did. No one expected anything less. I mean, everyone told me I could do it. But I knew better." He let out a nervous laugh, because the next part was the hardest. "I tried to be a loving dad all I could. But you know what? All I wanted was to make you strong, Charlie. I wanted you to love me above almost anything else, but first and foremost I wanted you to be stronger than I was, so that strength could push against anyone trying to bring you down. I… Perhaps all I was doing was crushing your dreams myself, Charlie, all while pushing you away." Lucifer made a pause. Was he wrong in all he wanted? Or did he just go about it in ways that just hurt and didn't help? Who knows. No one had a parenting book for someone as messed up as he was, and his Father sure didn't fucking help. "I just… am a mess. In the end I was going to call you to admit to this, but only because Ozzie and Bee convinced me. I am a bad father, Charlie. I may have good intentions, but I admit I am not good. I can't be when I am this damn, walking mess."

"Dad, you failed because you are trying to be a 'perfect' dad.." Was Charlie's response.

And Lucifer took it like a soul crushing blow. "Charlie… I am…"

"Just be a GOOD dad. Dads get things wrong all the time, but they keep trying. To be a 'good dad' is not something you just can do, dad. You have to keep trying. And you are." Charlie was angry, Lucifer could feel it, but she had softened after Lucifer opened up. "The problem is that you are trying to be perfect in your own way. You want to protect me, make me stronger and all that, and you are trying to do it no matter the consequences. Dad, you are trying to be Grandpa."

Softer she may be speaking, but those words cut. No one said anything for a whole minute as they digested just what Charlie had said.

"I don't want you to try and be the best. I want you to be you. I want my dad to be silly here and there, but I want him to treat me like an adult more. I want you, dad, to talk to me. You may mess up, you and I may get angry at each other, but we love each other." And while honesty hurt, it also made Lucifer calm down. His daughter didn't hate him. He was probably in for a world of hurt at some point if she wanted to vent her anger and let it go, but he could take it. "Which is why I have to put my foot down."

Lucifer accepted this. Whatever Charlie was going to say, it would go. "Of course. Tell us. I'll make sure whatever terms you have, they are respected."

"Good." Finally Charlie seemed to let go of much of her anger. She still sounded terse, and she made it clear. "First I want to know this: Are there more things I need to know about this… mess? About this children stuff, just in case."

Beelzebub was the one to tackle that question. Partly to finally get out of her funk fully, partly because she was the one that looked more into it than anyone else. "Not really. I mean, other than a basic necessity for this whole process that has to do with immortality and such."

Charlie let out a little 'Huh'. "I… yeah. I hadn't thought about that. What is it?"

"Both you and Vagatha are immortal." Beelzebub began with the obvious. Charlie was, well, Charlie, and Vagatha was a Winner. Both of them had that part covered. "For anyone to get that perk, you'd need a connection with them; deep friendship, trust, love. It was a basic part of Lucifer's original concoction: You need strong ties for it to work at all. Also, Luci made this particular process attuned to new life, so getting knocked up is part of the process and we don't dare experiment to change how it goes, mostly because the soul is a touchy subject and Luci got lucky." She made a small pause before admitting to the obvious. "Vortex isn't going to be immortal until he puts a pup in me and both of them get a lifetime upgrade, literally."

"Same with Fizzy." Asmodeus chimed in with a little chuckle. "Though with him it may still take some time. We are more eager to enjoy ourselves, and he does have a few doubts about living forever. As I told you, Charlie: Eternal life is not for everyone and, again, I know Fizz will come around because he said he wishes to do so, but I am in no rush for him to be ready both for immortality and a family."

Charlie had a question though. "What if, instead of a demon, it is a human?" She knew this looked like it came from out of left field, but Charlie had an explanation. "Look, not all of you are sending people my way, and, really, I think two is more than plenty. Perhaps I wouldn't mind help from someone from uncle Levi's circle, someone capable with social media. Or maybe one of aunt Bel's doctors, just in case there are problems that need them. I don't know. But I am going to spend a lot of time in the mortal world: What would happen if, in case Vaggie and I do find someone, it is a human?"

Lucifer couldn't help but shrug. No one saw it, but it was a simple question with a simple answer. "We just do with them as we did with your mother."

He could feel the frown of confusion on Charlie's face when she asked. "What happened to mom? Is this something else I was never told about?"

"Well, yeah. It was never really important." And Lucifer meant it too when he said it. He was still going to explain. "Remember I told you that your mother didn't ever die? Well, that was true." There was a good level of pride in his voice. Keeping Lilith safe had been one of his proudest moments. Ironic, considering relatively recent events. "But the immortality she had been granted by God was gone afterwards. In just a few decades Lilith aged, partly through God's punishment, partly thanks to Hell's noxious energies back then. So, in a sense, we did an 'artificial natural evolution'; your uncles, your aunts and me helped Lilith change. She was and is, human, but think of it like a different race, like the many that already exist on Earth."

"A race of immortal humans?" Charlie sounded unsure. "That is… a bit extreme."

"Well, it is more of a subrace within a subrace." Asmodeus offered. Sometimes everyone forgot that he was actually pretty damn smart despite being the horniest among the Sins. "We have the 'human' species, then we have the three distinct main races, then we have the breeds that formed with time and slightly different environments. Humans may like to think themselves so pretty special, but they aren't different from any other animal, just like demons. The only entities that don't really 'evolve' are angels, and only because, whether we like to admit it or not, we are constructs. Doesn't matter if we are born or made." That was always a sore spot for most of those that fell, but an absolute truth nonetheless. "But back to humans: They evolve and change. Lilith was made to do the same, only her process was made artificially."

"Simply put? We made Lilith a 'Fallen', silly as the name may be." Lucifer offered a final form of explanation. "The 'Fallen' are humans adapted to Hell. Magically gifted, eternally young (either youth looking or at their adult prime), physically more capable of growth in most areas, etc. In a sense they are just like Sinners, including their insane resilience, but alive. The only downside? They don't leave their soul behind if they die, so no Sinner form." And because he knew Charlie would pop the question. "We know because there have been a few humans that have changed like Lilith through time. Other than Lilith, all of them tried to go back to Earth or managed to turn into one of the Fallen WHILE on Earth. Let's say it didn't work out for them."

"Uhu… Well, at least that answers my question. More than one at that." Charlie didn't sound too sure though, but she did have what she needed. "Then I am going to lay down something that I think I have to make clear."

No one asked a single thing, even when Charlie took her time to say whatever she wanted to say. This was to do with Lilith, Lucifer was sure of it. Nothing else seemed to give his daughter pause, and she let him know Lucifer was indeed right the moment she let it out.

"I am afraid of going down mom's route. Like, deathly afraid." Charlie opened up, and Lucifer would believe her. Her voice sounded like she was on the brink of another mental breakdown. "I am afraid to death of ever raising my hand to Vaggie. I… I had enough of fights with Seviathan."

Ah, that would do it. That breakup happened long before Lilith finally pushed away, but it had been the closest to 'horrible' when it came to a relationship.

The only reason why Seviathan was alive was his father and the good relationship he had with Lucifer. Charlie got into fights plenty of times, even if she didn't like to admit to it. Shit happened on the regular and it was normal in Hell. But even down here it was frowned upon when someone beat their significant other, and for many reasons. Want the most pragmatic? Domestic violence just made Hell worse, and every hellborn was already up to shit creek in so many ways that adding another one was actively discouraged, usually upon pain of death from your own neighbors, friends and family.

So suffice to say that Seviathan, for all his Outsider pride, could count himself lucky. Seeing Charlie with a black eye had nearly ended, literally speaking, a good chunk of the Pride Ring. And the physical damage was small, mind you. Lucifer was told more than enough about what mental abuse Seviathan hurled Charlie's way.

Had this been anywhere but Hell, and had Lucifer not thought clearly about the consequences to everything and everyone, including Lilith and Charlie themselves, he would've gone scorched earth. Seeing the damage persist to this day was making him rethink his choices.

"I want love." Charlie seemed to recover at last. The memory was clear, burning in her mind, but no longer paralyzing. "I don't want friends, or companions. If someone was to start a family with me, including Vaggie, it would not be a 'strong bond'. It has to be the strongest. It has to be love, like Vaggie and I share. We have to be there for each other. It has to witsand everything. I… I cannot lose anyone else. This has to be a perfect family if it ever happens."

Fear. Trauma. Idealization.

Lucifer should've seen that a long time ago. It took Charlie decades to get a new partner after all. Hell, she had been with very few people BEFORE that. She idolized what Lucifer and Lilith had and she had always seen her uncles and aunts being miserable when in their presence, even if they tried to hide the clear envy most of them directed Lucifer's way.

Every Sin had their obvious vices. Every demon has their obvious flaws. They hid such things worse than humans, and more so than angels, but they all had something special that made them tick. Charlie had never demonstrated any negative qualities, at least not more than any other regular hellborn. She tried to keep her temper in check, she wasn't exactly greedy or envious, she didn't overeat or indulge, she was active and humble while also not being exactly chaste, but wishing for meaningful relationships instead of just flings.

In a way, if you ignore her naive way of thinking, Charlie was a very virtuous, close to 'perfect' kind of woman. But if you did add the naivete that she had…

There was one obvious flaw.

She was a dreamer. And while being such was not exactly 'bad', there were things Charlie wouldn't let go. Her hope to make Hell better? That was going to stay. Her desire for a 'perfect' relationship?

Lucifer realized far too late that such a thing could, sadly, be easily considered a flaw indeed.

It was selfish of him to consider it as such, true, but it was far too obvious that Charlie wouldn't budge on this one. Perhaps if his siblings intervened they could talk her to 'relax' her stance a bit more, but clearly Asmodeus and Beelzebub, in their own relationships and with their own hurdles, didn't have it in them to push against Charlie on this one. Hell be damned, none of them had the heart to fight Charlie here.

"I will talk with Vaggie about this." Charlie finally offered. "I… I don't know when. There is too much going on and we must figure a few other things out. But I am going to say this much: If she isn't on board now, if she isn't EVER on board, then I'll-I'll forget about… that." And while she tried to sound sure of herself and firm, Charlie was obviously hurting at the thought of never being a mother. Lucifer had known for a long time what her dreams were when it came to having a family, and now, with all this mess, he had helped shatter them down to pieces. "This is final, okay? I am sorry. I am selfish. I think first of myself instead of Hell on this one, but please-."

"Charlie." Lucifer didn't raise his voice here, but Charlie was slowly growing softer and more meek in her words as the situation finally got to her. "You are right. We won't push. This is my fault, alright? I should have had this talk with you a hundred years ago, perhaps I should've told you the truth of everything the day you grew up instead of treating you like a little girl for so long." In a way it hurt more than Lucifer could admit. He had always wanted Charlie to be his little girl. But at this rate? He was destroying chance after chance of Charlie just remaining a loving daughter, or a daughter at all. "We wouldn't be having this problem, and I wouldn't be this desperate, if I had done my job."

"Dad, this-." Charlie sounded exasperated and hurt now. At least the anger was no longer obvious. She had far too many things in her mind. "What you had planned on doing? It was a mistake. But we talked it out, okay? I know this all is more than you thought would ever happen. I know I probably am making a mistake of my own. I should perhaps be more flexible or, I don't know. Just… I don't think-."

"Charlie, honey." Beelzebub butted in. She had lost all playfulness in her tone. "Again, we live forever. What you want is very, very hard to achieve. Your dad lasted almost ALL of Creation with your mom, and then… things happened."

Asmodeus picked up after Bee petered off, her own doubts clear, much like Ozzie. Only Asmodeus managed to power through them. "No view of relationships, or any relationship itself, is perfect, my dear Charlie. It would be hypocritical of any of us to tell you to do or think otherwise than you do. All of us, from your father to Mammon himself, have tried. And, as you can see, we all, even Lucifer, have failed." It was a sad truth, but Asmodeus had some warmth to his voice in the end. "Bee and I have found new love and new hope. We wish for it to go on forever. I hope we can. In that way I can understand you, my dear. This time it may not work. Perhaps we will have a Queen without an heir for as long as we had Luci… But that is up to you and young Vagatha to decide. Do not feel pressured. Just remember that, once you are Queen, you have a duty. And you have precious few ways of changing that."

Charlie let out a sigh of defeat through the phone. If she felt pressured before, then Lucifer knew it was much worse now. In a way though, this felt fine. Now he didn't need to hide stuff from her.

In fact. He decided to make everything clear.

"Charlie, I promise no more secrets or lies when it comes to you or Hell, okay?" This was the least he could do. Much like offering full sincerity on another topic. "Only two things I will keep from you." When Charlie made a sound of discontent Lucifer was very adamant in his response. "Charlie, listen: One has to do with that one particular duty I have to uphold to keep you, and everything else, safe after I step down. You can't do anything about it, other than worry yourself sick if I tell you. Better you think a million different possibilities than know the truth behind it." Though Lucifer knew she'd kill him when she told him. It would be better than the alternative. Even his siblings agreed on this. "The other one is… technically nothing."

Charlie made a sound with her tongue, a click of disapproval mixed with an annoyed huff. "How is it 'nothing' if it is something so important you cannot tell me?"

"I never said it was important." Lucifer pointed out. To be honest, it wasn't. It could be, but right now it isn't. "It is a countermeasure, in a sense. I have been told, under no uncertain terms, that some things are already… off, with Emily's deal."

This got Charlie to stand in a jump. She was without footwear, Lucifer knew because the sound of her hooves, and her stumbling as she lost balance with her gut reaction to the news, were enough of a tell.

"What do you mean?" She didn't sound frantic, no, but she was decidedly nervous. "How could that be? It has been a day!"

"Apparently Emily accidentally killed Jack when she rescued him. Not exactly difficult considering the young man was trying to kill himself and probably on the brink already, but you know." Lucifer supplied as gently (if you can do this gently at all). While Charlie made a strangling noise, followed by a 'huh?' of confusion after she remembered Jack was very much alive, Lucifer explained. "She used her magic to bring him back. It was a split second thing. He didn't 'really' die, just… 'mostly' die."

"That's-." Charlie took the phone away from her and used her free hand to muffle a scream. Of course the news would make the already troubled girl get worse. "Okay. Fine. He died for a moment. He isn't down here, or in Heaven, so that is fine." No, it wasn't, and Charlie knew. "What… does that mean?"

"Angels aren't meant to kill mortals, not with a very, very good reason." Beelzebub was the one to point this out, if only because she had been one of the more interested in what humanity would become after Lucifer's gift. She had learned earlier than the others what was expected of them in the future. Their fall made her commit it to memory. "A 'Fallen' human, or a Sinner, is a different matter. A normal human? Heaven may still influence them, but that is all. Only if called by higher powers can angels kill. Otherwise they may suffer in various ways, including banishment."

"Banish-." Charlie's mouth clamped shut for a second. She sounded very nervous and hushed when she asked the next question. "Do you think Emily knows?"

"No, not really." Lucifer admitted. Emily had been even more isolated from reality than Charlie during her younger years. "But her natural apprehension to go back to Heaven may be due to some kind of innate knowledge of what may happen. All angels are aware of it when they do something that goes against God in some way, even if His rules are not always sensible."

"But Heaven hasn't done anything about her, or this plan. The portal is still open too." Charlie mussed. "What… What is this you are do-?"

"I won't tell you, Charlie." Lucifer warned, and this time he used a tone more like an angry father than anything else. "You must not know. Heaven may not have acted, but they will keep tabs on you. I can make sure they don't learn of my actions, but it took me centuries to master that craft. I won't be able to teach you in a few hours, or even a few months. And while I doubt you wouldn't sense it if they tried to pry knowledge for you, do you really want to know what I am doing so Heaven may come down on us for that reason alone?"

Charlie let out a hiss. She was clearly disgruntled, Lucifer could tell, but she accepted his reasoning. "Can you at least tell me if this is something, you know, 'bad'?"

"Again, only if Heaven acts. Otherwise? I think that, at best, what I am doing will garner Hell some support, but that is it. At worst? It may just have some positive effects in a few souls. I don't plan on doing more than I did back when I first offered freedom to humanity: Help." And this much Lucifer wanted to believe was true. It is what he was trying, after all. "Of course everything can go to shit. You have seen just how good I am with my plans."

At least that made Charlie chuckle. Lucifer wasn't out of the frying pan, but at least he wasn't in the fucking fire. "Yeah, sure." Charlie made a short pause as she thought of something. "Will… if Heaven acts, will you be there? Now it is not just us, dad. If they try to stop us Heaven will be acting against its own best interest. This will hurt everyone."

"There you go again, worrying about everyone. You may have some selfish desires as you say, but that doesn't change who you are." Asmodeus chuckled. "But don't worry, my dear Charlie. We all will help if it comes to blows."

"Yeah! Luci can be a dunderhead, but THAT particular idea of his has merit and Heaven is going to fuck up if they act against what you are trying to do." Beelzebub added some of her old chipper mood back to her voice. "I'd prefer if they didn't though. It would fuck up a lot of things."

"I'd prefer they didn't too, and not just for that." Charlie admitted. Lucifer could hear her shuffle in place. She was going to admit to something, wasn't she? "I… I don't think I can believe in Heaven being this marvelous place anymore." Yes, yes she was. "It is too early to tell but… I think I may even want to slap Grandpa across the face if I ever see Him. I am trying to hold all my anger in, but every time something like this conversation happens, with all this pressure building, it just makes it more and more difficult to keep it down"

No one said a thing, letting the words linger in the air. This was not exactly unforeseen to any of those present, except perhaps Charlie. She, Lucifer knew this was true, would prefer to entertain and love than to fight. Hate did not come easy to her, at all. Even anger was, as shown through this conversation, difficult.

A normal person would've let anger dictate what to say or do to Lucifer. It would've made this whole conversation impossible to begin with after Lucifer admitted to things. Shit, Lucifer was sure that yesterday would've ended in violence if Charlie had any less patience and lacked her inherent good nature.

And in two days she was thinking ill of someone, of the family she had idolized for nearly two hundred years, to the point of wishing violence upon them.

The fact that it was God Himself spoke volumes too.

"Charlie. I am not going to lie. You getting angry and wishing to be physical is a good thing." Lucifer found himself speaking before he could think. This, it seemed, was something he would need to work on… again. "If it comes to blows, you may need to show you have the power to carve a path to your dreams. I just hope it doesn't happen. I may find the idea of you finally standing up for yourself to be one of the best things ever; finally not only words, but actions. But I think I have done enough harm by hurting and angering you. Think very carefully of how you'll handle things… in case you ever meet your Grandfather."

"But you said before that it is very likely that Heaven will retaliate." Charlie pointed out with clear nervousness in her voice. "And now that we know Emily has broken their rules, even if by accident. Then isn't a fight guaranteed?"

"Again, honey, we don't know." Beelzebub tried to placate her niece as best as she could. "Perhaps they will deny your success if it does end up happening, if only on the basis of what Emily has done, accident or not. She sounds like a total sweetheart and I highly doubt she'd ever hurt anyone on purpose unless otherwise necessary to save others. Even then I believe she'd find it difficult."

"Heaven doesn't care about that of course." Asmodeus didn't miss a beat, neither did he hide his disdain. "They may not end up banishing her or anything, though I doubt it. At the very, very least? They will not let her outside arm's reach, at least of those the ones in charge trust enough. For all we know, if that young Seraphim returns to Heaven, she'll be on house arrest for eons."

"..." Charlie seemed to mull this over for a couple seconds. It would suck for Emily, but she also knew her angel friend would bear with it if this all worked out. Charlie hated the idea, but one problem at a time. "So… we may not have to fight or anything?"

"I hired security for a reason, Charlie." Lucifer pointed this out, but not in a patronizing or angry tone. More a matter of fact. "If nothing else there'll be the human element involved. Someone is going to make a fuss about this. Violence will happen. I just hope it doesn't end with Heaven OR Hell being the cause. I can at least say neither is going to act early in the game, but I won't be able to tell for sure what the future holds, at least not now." Lucifer didn't really believe his own brother's words to ring hollow, but there was this spark of hope that Michael wouldn't do something stupid. "With some luck you won't have to lift a finger… beyond trying to make redemption a real thing, I mean."

"Let's hope so. I have far too many things in my mind and far too many new problems to add to it all." Charlie groaned in a way that denoted just how done with everything she was. This day had indeed been long for the Princess of Hell. "Dad…"

Lucifer felt himself grow stiff. The way Charlie said that 'dad' made him feel beyond nervous. "Yes, Charlie?"

"No more lies? This includes going behind my back like you planned to, and things you think would hurt me." Charlie didn't need to mention this was the same thing she had talked about with Vaggie. Sincerity was a must with the young Princess of Hell. And it was no lie to say her trust was now getting wobbly with some people. "Anything you want to do that involves me, you tell me?"

Lucifer bit the inside of his cheek. He could promise that, yes. It was unlikely for Charlie to ask the right questions anyway. "No more lies, and I promise to be upfront from now on."

"..." For a second Lucifer thought his daughter was going to call him out on that. "Will you tell me about what you are hiding BEFORE you abdicate?"

Perhaps he should've promised nothing. "I will. It will take time before I have everything done so you don't have to worry about it, but I will." But in a way this lifted a weight from his shoulders, and gave him time to prepare. "I promise you, I will. You won't like the whole truth, but you need to know, you are right about that. Just… after everything is ready, okay?"

"Okay. Good." She took a deep breath. The next question hurt to just ask. "And no more meddling in my love life? Or the mess that is my love life, if we want to be sincere with it." That part Charlie DID add some fire to. Clearly the anger would be stored for a more appropriate time, for many reasons. "Also, don't think we are done with just this. We WILL have words about this when things calm down, no matter how it ends."

The fact that Charlie wasn't telling him to go pound sand and take the people he offered her was, in his eyes, the biggest win he was going to score in that area. In fact, it was the only win. Lucifer counted it as one even if it wasn't.

"I promise. If anyone else offers some help, no matter the motive, I will tell you before doing anything else." Lucifer could do that. He just hoped that no one else wanted to join Charlie for those 'words' of hers.

Charlie let out a sound of affirmation. There was a level of resignation too, and she made it more than clear. "I suppose that is all I am going to get. I'd prefer to just say 'don't send anyone else' just in case, but at this point I am in no position to refuse help."

Which both meant Charlie had resigned herself to the possibility and the need for more people that could help her out. She just didn't sound enthused with the idea that any of her aunts and uncles would send people 'suited to her tastes' too. Lucifer was sure that none of his siblings would be pushy about it, but he was also confident that, after learning of the whole mess, they'd be very specific in their choices. That is if any of them were willing to 'contribute' to Charlie's side and not just Lucifer's own little project.

"Just… Make sure uncle Mammon doesn't send anyone? It is not that I dislike sharks or anything, but his people are usually as greedy as he is, or the mafioso kind. I… no hate or anything, but I don't think we need a, pardon the expression, 'money grubber' in this project." That also didn't surprise anyone. "I love uncle Mam when he is all jokes and relaxed, but he is going harder and harder on the desire for money as of late. I doubt he'd do anything other than send me an accountant ready to turn this into a gold mine or something."

Lucifer let out a nervous laugh. Yeah, Mammon was going to be a pest, at least at first. It had been a long time since he had been made to be serious about anything important, and his own sin had taken root. Other than helping Charlie with money, which was surprising enough, he had been growing worse and worse. He wasn't the only one, but Lucifer, despite the animosity the two shared from time to time, couldn't help but worry now that he was back in the game.

If Lucifer could become a sad, depressing hermit, it wouldn't be surprising to anyone if Mammon became a worse scrooge than Scrooge himself. More violent too, because even during Lucifer's little spiral he had learned of how Mammon had been abusing his workers. Granted: This was Hell, so not like Lucifer could say shit to Mammon for being a dick. But this was starting to get to a point when mean words and threats could lead to something else.

Sooner or later Mammon would reach a spiral in which he screwed over every single good worker he had, which would cost him money, thus making the spiral worse. Lucifer would need an intervention for him before he joined his own plan and, hopefully, that would also include making Mammon rethink about sending Charlie any 'help'.

Because Charlie was wrong: Mammon also liked slutty workers of any kind and any sex. Whereas Asmodeus had been quite thoughtful with the girl he was going to send, Mammon would either do as Charlie said, or send her the biggest gold digging whore in Greed.

Lucifer shuddered at the thought. That would get EVERYONE deep in a world of shit. Fuck, Charlie would lose what little control she managed to get a hold of and snap. It would be fun to see her step on Mammon's balls in a blind rage, but the aftershock would hit Lucifer too, probably everyone else if Charlie got *really* pissed off.

So that made sure Lucifer kept this as a priority little event. Nothing remarkable in the big plan of course, but the family needed an intervention or two.

Or maybe a hundred. Time would tell.

"Don't worry Charlie. We'll make sure your uncle doesn't do anything unsavory." This was a promise coming not only from Lucifer, but from both Asmodeus and Beezlebub. Hell, they were very quick, and even more eager, to agree.

A sound of relief came from the phone. "Thanks, dad. I love uncle Mammon, but he can be a bit too much." Lucifer opted to say absolutely nothing there. "But now I feel so damn tired… Do you mind one last question before I leave?"

Lucifer didn't even need to think. "Of course, Charlie. What is it?"

"This… is really going to take a lot of time out of you, right?"

Ah. Yeah. That probably was going to add to the hurt, wasn't it?

"I… don't think I'll have much free time, no." Lucifer didn't want to admit it, but this was all his fault too. "I have a huge backlog of problems I do need to work through. I refuse to let them fall on your lap after I stop being king. There are a lot of shady things that have taken place during my long episode, as Bee mentioned."

"We ARE going to get the fucker that is mistreating all the hounds in Pride." Bee didn't even hide the reverberation in her voice, or the sound she made as she lost her patience, if only for a second. The growth came and went quickly, but it was clear she wasn't happy. "Your dad and I will paint a good few places red. I highly doubt you want to see the kennels these people have created and thrown Hellhounds puppies in."

Charlie was clearly cringing on her end. Lucifer knew she always wanted to think the best of people, but this was likely organized by human souls more than native hellborn, though the latter hadn't been slow to join in the abuse for a quick buck.

"Add to this the contingencies we'll be working on to make sure you are as safe as can be and you get a massive time sink. Then the many attempts some idiots will make to access Earth once your 'upgraded' project is known, and it will be known soon, believe me, will just mount more pressure. We also have the barriers I have to erect, the power I am going to be bleeding and a thousand other things." Lucifer groaned internally at the thought. "I may be able to offer you a day a week with some luck."

This clearly displeased Charlie, but see accepted it. She couldn't do much else, sadly. "I see… I will not excuse your actions but I see why you choose to just try and hide all this." And see it she may, but she sounded still frustrated and very much incensed. "We'll talk when you have some more time, okay dad? Right now I think I am going to get a few more things done and head to bed." Charlie let out a sigh. "At least a secretary is going to help because I am going to need someone to screen everything that is going to be coming my way."

"Oh yeah." Asmodeus couldn't hold back a little snigger. "The moment mortals and demons alike know of this plan of yours, you are going to be getting a lot more attention. Not all positive, I assure you."

"I am used to that." Charlie snarked back, her voice more good natured when it came to her uncle. "I just hope this 'Claudia' can take the usual bullshit I have to go through when someone sends me something."

Lucifer cringed at that. Yeah, his daughter had never enjoyed good PR. At least the patience she had developed to go through all that shit that her own citizens threw her way had helped him survive this day.

"She has only worked here for a few years now, but she has experience with all that and then some, Charlie." Lucifer assured. At the very least his 'plan', if you want to call it that at this point, was going to give Charlie a reprieve. "So… See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." By now Charlie sounded so damn tired that even her anger didn't come through. Hopefully she'd calm down so tomorrow goes without any trouble. "See you soon dad. And perhaps uncle Oz and Bee too?"

"Are you asking us to appear on Earth's big screen, little Charlie?" Ozzie teased. Now that the heavy shit was done with, he seemed more than happy to just play with Charlie a bit.

"Maybe?" Though Charlie apparently took him seriously. "If any of you are willing of course. I mean, I will only be there with Alastor, Vaggie and I.M.P tomorrow, dad is also coming. I don't think I can take any of the others, though. So perhaps down the line?"

"Eh, why not? It could be fun to give everyone on Earth a bit of a scare." Beelzebub chuckled. At least the idea seemed to take some of her still present fire away. "It would be a nice change of pace. Besides, we'll have to make an appearance at some point anyway."

"For sure." Asmodeus said, though he sounded less enthused. "But perhaps after someone else. I may enjoy being myself, but I think Bee would be a better first pick."

"Sure." Charlie chuckled. "We don't want you to scare everyone with your Sex Ed, uncle Oz."

"It isn't scary, Charlie, just informative." Ozzie sounded genuinely upset, that is how practiced he was. "You are just too pure for my lectures."

"Let's go with that, yeah." Charlie let another laugh escape her lips, only for it to turn into a yawn. "Okay. This call hasn't gone how I thought it would, and it was so fucking messed up at some points that I just don't want to think anymore. Good night, love you all."

That ended Lucifer's worst ever call, and talk with his daughter, that he had ever suffered through.

It wasn't the end of tonight though.

"You know she is going to flip when she learns of everything." Beelzebub pointed out. The fire from before coming back with a vengeance. Better her be angry about the issues in Pride than drowning in sorrow from the wound they had to open after so long. "This all went FAR better than it should have, Luci. But the moment Charlie learns of that 'little problem', shit is going to hit the fan, hard."

"Yeah, well, that will happen then and it will be a problem for future Lucifer." Lucifer said with no little snark and very close to being angry. "If Charlie learns of the particularities of that problem, we all lose, including her."

"So when you tell her about Eve…?" Asmodeus ventured.

"Will be when she doesn't need to worry about it any longer." Lucifer's words allowed no rebuke, but Asmodeus was not done.

"You sure about that? Perhaps we should tell her now." Though Oz knew to be cautious. "I know it wouldn't be a good idea, Luci, but-."

"Eve nearly disemboweled Lilith three hundred years ago." Lucifer was not angry, not even furious. But he forced as much coldness as he could through his words. Charlie would NOT know about Eve until Lucifer thought it was time. "She only failed because I pushed Lilith away. She only failed because she managed to cut ME in half, and her damn laughter still haunts me. Had she not found a target, then Lilith wouldn't be here and we wouldn't have Charlie either."

There was a very eerie silence that followed. No one present had good memories of that day. Even those in the know that tried to act as if they didn't care had a very damn hard time letting go of that day.

Hopes had been utterly destroyed then. Anger had flared. It was the last nail in the coffin for so many things.

Lucifer hardened his heart. There was nothing left to lose, only Charlie. "If Charlie learns of her, she'll try to 'help her'. I love my daughter, and I hate hurting her. Every time I have entertained the thought of it being for her own good it has backfired on me." Lucifer had closed his fists. He could feel golden blood dripping from small punctures he was carving into his palms. "I refuse to allow Eve a chance to test if she could get my daughter since she couldn't end my own life. I don't know if she is that far gone to just try, but I know Charlie wouldn't be herself if she allowed who should've been her second mother to suffer where she is. It is not in her nature."

Bee let out a strangled noise through the portal. "I am sorry for bringing her up, by the way. That was a dick move."

"We would've ended up talking about Eve one way or another." Lucifer conceded, though it made things no better. "Now. This mess is past us and my problems are mine to deal with at a later date. How about we get back to the plan we are supposed to work on together?"

Neither Beelzebub nor Asmodeus had anything against that. The pair had been about to slap Lucifer when he spoke about his plan with Charlie, that was true, but they all were on board with the other particular point in the conversation.

There were a lot of dates, details, number crunching and certain specifics to work through. This didn't need to be perfect, but it sure needed much fine tuning for it to work in the way intended. If all went well? Then much of it would be 'wasted' and instead just benefit a small number of humans, comparatively speaking. If shit went down? Then Heaven would be screwing itself and giving Hell a lot of brownie points.

Not to speak of the usefulness when it came to protect Charlie and her plan in general. Perhaps even keeping Emily alive. There was a lot of camaraderie won between Sins that hadn't yet met the young Seraphim considering she was in danger of getting screwed just as much as the big seven and Lucifer's followers just because Emily wanted to do something good while Heaven either hid what they were doing (already fucking up the opinion of Heaven WITHIN Heaven), or just wanted to remain stuck in their own ways for whatever reason.

A pain in the ass it was, make no mistake. Planning this kind of crap had only gotten them screwed back in the day, but now they had an 'in' with Earth for as long as Emily's deal was in effect. As such there was more leeway and Heaven couldn't rightly fuck with them. The Sins' actions wouldn't adhere to Emily's plan of course, but, unlike in the old days, Heaven acting would reveal them and, considering they'd be known soon enough, their usual forceful methods to kick Lucifer and his siblings back to Hell would more likely not give them good rep with the humans. Considering Lucifer's general plan, it would go even worse since he was, as he promised Charlie, just going to help.

Not like all his help would be harmless, but while Lucifer did see Charlie's point, he also knew a lot of humans were pieces of shit that would be better a few feet under. He was going to be damn sure that happened if whoever he decided to integrate in this plan needed someone gone. He was the fucking King of Lies; he'd find who needed to be erased and do the world a favor or two.

And hey, all the talking and planning had a good secondary effect: Lucifer didn't have to think about obvious problems. Ignoring the massive fuckup with Charlie, there was Eve.

Lucifer wished to see her again, but in his mind he knew what would happen the day he did.

"I hate you!"

The voice of Eve echoed in his mind. Distant, warped, hateful. The laugh that came after was broken and garbled. It made Lucifer stop mid sentence for a second, but he recovered quickly enough and his siblings asked no questions.

Perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps… things could work out this time.

Lucifer opted to lie to himself. Better than the alternative.

Better than the truth.

*** End of Chapter ***

Okay, so this is a thing. Now, let me explain. First, a reminder: This is a bit of a rant… and a wall of text.

Some of you, especially on AO3 if you read the comments, will have noticed I didn't plan on a few things. Namely: Charlie and Vaggie possibly inviting others into their relationship. Full disclosure: I never planned, nor do I plan, on breaking them up. I planned on making them fucking misserable tho. Why? Because when I crafted the basic idea of this universe of Hazbin, I wanted to make God, God.

And in case you are confused: Most people keep trying to explain Gods as 'people'. Gods aren't people. Gods are Gods. They are anything from forces of nature to extremely powerful entities that create or destroy for reasons that cannot be comprehended. This was touched upon in the previous chapter, but I need you to understand: God is not evil in this story. God is a complex entity that is unable to understand all of His creations' woes because, as an entity of that scale, something like a bit of pain or sadness (or a world of it, for us anyway) is inconsequential to the main drive behind His design. To basically condemn Charlie, an entity that is almost directly related to Him (as creations aren't always directly linked to God), to a miserable life in one reality is just another step to make her have a 'perfect' existence when His experiments are all done.

In God's mind this is all justified. And as far as Gods go? I'd like to portray ours as a massive dick by human standards, but incredibly gentle when compared to other Creators, like the one that made (in universe) all the Eldritch entities that, for some reason, a writer with a black cat (with a funny name) discovered and wrote about.

But while I like a level of drama, I tend to have problems making my characters (fan versions of original ones that I create myself) have shitty ends. I mean, unless that is the purpose of that character (Like the asshole evil dude that will end up shafted before the story's conclusion). I also like to make sure that only a few, but necessary, elements are inflexible in my plan.

God having done Charlie and her family dirty? That was guaranteed. Emily getting shafted (but remaining largely nice by the end) was obvious from the start (it is in the fucking TITLE! I have made no secret of her fate in that regard). But I did not want to be exceedingly cruel, nor did I want to bend the story's basic ideas (because it usually derails my thoughts and makes me stop). But the idea of making SURE that Charlie's end was bittersweet at best or miserable and sad at worst? Eh, it rubbed me the wrong way no matter what. So… what do I do? Add X.

Now, I know there are those that hate the idea of Charlie and Vaggie adding other people to their mix. I get it, I respect that. Heck, I generally don't care about lesbian sips (Weird, I know! Most guys should be all hot for it, but in my case it does nothing), but I find these two cute (Even with the 'liar revealed' plot that is beyond tired at this point and that Vivzie used for Vaggie). That is not going to stop me from exploring this. And, of course, that doesn't mean it is going to *WORK*. Again: I like to leave the story to develop organically. As such this may end up going nowhere, or backfiring. It depends. Partly because I don't know if I'll throw more people here or leave it how I had planned to this point. I have a few ideas but they may end up coming out as I intend, being rewritten or just deleted.

One said idea that was practically unchanged was Seviathan's involvement in making Charlie a fucking mess. While I am completely unsure as to whether he'll show up or not (at least in 'The Slow Fall', wink wink), his actions were always going to be present in this story at certain points. I needed a complete fucking asshole to have hurt Charlie in the past, and having decided from Day 1 that the Von Eldritch aren't demons, but literally Lovercraftian creatures from a different Creator (god), they were a good choice. Seviathan's parents at least appear to be decent (Whether they are really nice or not, though, I won't tell ya), Helsa is up in the air (I have to decide here, I never had clear plans for her in the base idea for 'The Slow Fall', but we'll see) But Seviathan? Seviathan fully embraces the chaotic, destructive and borderline pure evil (Destruction for Destruction's sake; no plan, no enjoyment, no reason, just oblivion) nature of his kind.

He was the best fucker for the job, so I gave him a gold star in 'being a dick' and handed him his role.

Of course, the Von Eldritch are heavily limited by Hell's barriers so long as the Morningstars are in power, so Seviathan could only do petty shit. Sadly, some of that 'petty' shit included permanently breaking Charlie (Even if it was a 'minor' mind break) when added to what she saw when her parents' relationship ended. Mind you: Lucifer and Lilith's end to their relationship has not been changed one bit from the original plan. In this universe Lilith was very much willing to lay hands (At least apparently. Did Charlie influence things or not?), but that is all you'll get from me on that particular area for now.

By now the poor girl is unable to see any kind of relationship, or family, working without being 100% sure there is a strong form of love there. She understands there'd be fights, discussions, yells and the like. But Charlie, in this universe, is unwilling for anything to form without being darn fuckin' sure it is love. She *KNOWS* it guarantees nothing, but she wants to believe it makes it harder for things to go tits up, and she is desperate to believe she can have a perfect relationship despite everything. If she has to remain childless with Vaggie for the rest of eternity, likely miserable to a point, then she'd very much prefer that than anything else. As such Lucifer's actions here were always going to rub her the wrong way, and that is being nice.

I mean, fuck. I ended up writing 3 different Part IIs for this chapter. One came off with Charlie as a motherfucking doormat, so that was scrapped. The other made her a Khorne berserker for some reason, which fit even less considering Charlie was meant to be angry and hurt in my mind. This one though? I think it came out nice because Charlie should be very close to done with this bullshit, but not yet ready to carve a trench in Hell with her powers, though she may bitchslap her dad at some point. One of the few reasons I thought she'd have self restraint is because everything is overwhelming her to the point of NEEDING help. She won't welcome someone new to her bed just like that, but sure as fuck she'll welcome them to her paperwork and working on ideas to sell the project to humanity, more so if Mayberry manages to get redeemed.

Again, I like to try to make this organic, which sadly takes a lot of fucking time from me. It was also a bit of a problem with the other Sins. I hadn't fully planned what to make of them and their point of view, but since I already said 'Eh, daddy dearest, the big G, fucked over one of His children. Why not make it ALL of them? Would make for an interesting experiment'. As such I thought; fuck, perhaps they may not see eye to eye with Charlie on this one, but I highly doubt they'd have the guts to tell her otherwise. Their own love life, for X or Y, sucks balls, and now some of them have found a way out. That is how it ended up devolving this way, at least in part.

So why propose this solution? Other than drama, it is a way to explore things. I mean, Vaggie is depicted as queer (sapphic or whateva), which doesn't exactly say 100% she is only into girls, only that she likes girls and girls like individuals. I know I stretch the meaning a fuckton, but hey, this is fanfiction and, considering the background I already had planned for Vaggie in this story (that part of Chapter V was planned from the start, though it wasn't really planned to be revealed THAT early. Shit just evolved that way), I thought it could fit. Vaggie, as a person, didn't really have time to explore all she was in this universe because she had some of the worst fucking luck she could get for how nice a life she had before, you know, it went to the shitter.

I know some people will not like that she may be interested in more than just straight up women, but eh, different reality, different possibilities. Heck, we have people thinking The High Republic for Star Wars, Rings of Power for TLOTR, the new Willow series and many, many, MANY other such bullshit creations, are, in fact, masterpieces when they aren't anything other than deconstruction of art, narrative and fictional universes all for 'modern sensitivities'. Fuck that shit.

[Mini update: Congratulations! Now Orcs aren't black people: They are Mexicans. You guys know the jokes write themselves any way you paint it, right? Fucking-! What has fantasy and make believe turned into?]

This is not to say you cannot like them. I am perfectly fine if you do. I will, however, not lie: They are morally bankrupt creations made to piss people off and, to be perfectly honest, horribly racist and sexists. You cannot tell me these people put so little effort into making something so bad, then allowed only certain groups of people to take part in it. If this doesn't insult you, fine, but don't lie to me or anyone else, including yourself. I like many things that are pure shit and I ADMIT they are pure shit. We all have guilty pleasures.

But hey, since this means everyone can do what they want and however they fucking please, I will do the same. At least I don't claim MY fanfiction is canon. I just call it fanfiction, duh.

So while, as I said, I will respect those that see this as a nasty move on my part, I'll do what feels interesting to me first and what seems to work with the story, as said previously. It may work out, it may not. I don't know. I just know the creative juices flow thataway, so I follow.

But back to the main topic. This is the same with Lucifer, Eve and a few other characters. I had ideas from the beginning, especially Sera and Emily, but that will be for later, MUCH later. No spoilers, though I can tell you Emily is going to be broken for a while, and she won't be alone there. Just a friendly warning.

I also have plans of what will happen on Earth and shit. As mentioned: Chapter VII will be the first time a few people react to fokin' demons, and I plan on having a few more 'reaction chapters' after. They'll probably be as fucking long as these (So between 20k to 40k words? Eh, we'll see) and should keep going from VII to… perhaps X. I am not sure, again: We'll see. I have at least 2 scenes semi planned in which these reactions pick up pace VERY fast (You'll see) thanks to a lucky coinkidink (Or perhaps not? Heh). I mean, the first stream won't get much audience, but it will be something. Then it will ramp up very fast and shit will evolve from there. A few consecutive streams and I am pretty sure we'll have at least Jack visiting Hell to give everyone a first hand experience. But again, we'll see. Perhaps things won't go that way. Either way, I have something to say about that:

Such a neat idea won't be traumatic for any of the children watching these streams and lying about their age! (This kind of lie is what lands you in Heck)

Anyway, after all this mess of a development, Chapter VI felt like a good place to drop this note, to give a few explanations and see how it goes. It may finally push some of you away, or drive in more curiosity. Either way, this chapter took me two damn weeks to make [Didn't help that Day 10 of this month I fucked myself up. New gym routine, I was stupid. 3 days of pain was my penance] and I have far too much shit to do left, so see ya guys next month.

Also, before I forget: If ya have questions, ask. If ya wanna say something, do. I may take a day or two on AO3 (depending on how busy I am), but I tend to answer. On Fanfiction? You get to wait till next month for obvious reasons, though not so many comments there, so \o3o/.

NOW that is all. Bye o3o/