Chapter Seventeen

Natalya ran along the pathway between the trees, occasionally doubling back to circle her guardians as they walked along together, an arm around the others waist. As they passed out of the woods into the more open grassy section of the park, where they'd intended to spread their picnic, they heard the first strains of music.

The lone busker was playing an upbeat pop tune that neither Planeteer could identify but as they got closer Nat started dancing to it making them both grin.

They stopped as they reached the guitar player, Linka admiring his skill as he played the fast paced number, and Wheeler disengaging from her to dance with her daughter. She rolled her eyes but regarded them both with amused affection.

The song came to an end and Nat ran to hug her laughing, while Wheeler dropped some cash in the musician's open guitar case.

"Where shall we set up our picnic?" Linka asked but received a shrug. The busker had started another song and Nat was obviously more interested in that than their lunch.

Her interest only lasted through the intro however, "this is too slow."

"Are you kidding?" Wheeler feigned horror, "this is a classic!" Then to Linka's genuine horror, he began to sing along with the music. "Don't tell me it's not worth dyin' for…"

The Fire Planeteer actually had a great voice but he was obviously singing to her and it attracted far more attention than she was comfortable with. Even when he turned to include a delighted Natalya, the more conservative Linka was silently begging for it to end. Fortunately for her, the musician chose not to play the whole thing and in spite of her embarrassment, she found herself impressed that Wheeler flawlessly followed the music cues.

The small audience that had gathered gave a round of applause and having been suitably rewarded for his efforts by them, the busker also called out a 'thanks man!"

Knowing it was expected, Linka had moved with Nat to hug her boyfriend but she was stiff and unresponsive and he proved that he'd noticed by whispering, "Don't be mad," in her ear.

She gave him a tight smile and suggested again that they find somewhere to have lunch.

Wheeler eyed her warily but agreed, letting the girls lead him over to the shade of some trees. Before they'd finished laying out their blanket however they were startled by a frisbee gliding between them.

"Sorry." A young boy ran up, hesitating as he looked at each of them. "Can I have that back?"

Nat picked it up and handed it to him.

"Thanks," he grinned at her, "You wanna come play?"

"Can I?" She looked to Linka, hopeful but clearly unsure of the response.

Still rattled by the serenade, the lovely blond hesitated, but nodded after a moment. "Stay in sight."

Nat nodded eagerly and ran off with her new friend, leaving her guardians to continue laying out their lunch.

"Are you having second thoughts about us?" Wheeler asked at last, having watched Linka silently nibble at a sandwich for several minutes. She was watching Natalya but her mind seemed to be elsewhere.

Blinking in surprise, Linka looked at him, "Why would I?"

He shrugged, "You're mad at me for singing back there. I mean, I didn't think it was a big deal but clearly it was to you, so…"

She sighed and shook her head, "It is not a big deal, it is just sometimes you…"

"Go on."

"You draw attention." She shrugged. "You like to make people laugh, I know that, I have always known that. You did not do anything wrong, it is part of you and I accept that."

Wheeler nodded but he didn't look happy, "but you hate it."

"Nyet." She reached out and took his hand, "I do not hate anything about you, I just… you put me at the centre of it and I am not comfortable with that. I cannot help it."

He squeezed her hand, "Sorry, I didn't think. I was trying to be romantic but I should know you hate that stuff."

She smiled, finally relaxing, "I do not hate 'that stuff'. I hate having an audience for 'that stuff'."

"Oh, so I can sing to you in private?" he teased, the tension easing from his frame as well.

"If you want to," Linka laughed.

Nat returned to them after a while, chatting happily while she had her lunch and enthusiastically endorsing their suggestion that they rent bikes to ride one of the trails around the park, which conveniently ended at a petting zoo.

Natalya was quiet on the flight back to Hope Island, responding in monosyllables. At first Linka thought they'd worn her out, but by the time she'd refused everything she was offered for dinner, she knew they were in for a rough night.

"I do not have to do what you say, you are not my Papa!" Nat glared at the American who had unwisely tried to interject in the argument she'd been having with Linka.

"Do not speak to Wheeler that way!" Her relative reprimanded her, but it just seemed to anger her more.

Nat screamed back at her in Russian and then ran for the door.

"Natalya!" Linka followed.

Gi blew out a long breath, "Someone's turning into a spoilt brat."

Wheeler, who had flopped down into one of the kitchen chairs, shook his head, "Today was a reward for completing her school work, if that's what you mean."

Sitting beside him Kwame said, "I think Gi is referring to her lack of gratitude to you."

"You don't get it." Wheeler rubbed his hands over his face and back through his hair before continuing, "Spoilt is demanding more, or better or different. That's not Nat, she's too damned much like Linka."

Gi turned from what she was doing at the kitchen cabinet, and said cautiously, "In what way?"

"Nat's hurting and she doesn't know how to deal with it." Wheeler sighed, "Linka doesn't throw tantrums but she does blame herself when she feels bad and pushes everyone away." He scoffed, "A tantrum might be easier to deal with, at least you see it coming."

His friends exchanged a look and Kwame spoke quietly, "Is everything ok between you and Linka my friend?"

"Huh?" Wheeler had slipped into his own reflections but caught on quickly, giving a soft laugh, "Oh, yeah, we're good. I'm just saying that there's more going on with Nat than the usual kids stuff, she needs us to be patient."

Gi stepped towards him and rested a hand on his shoulder, "She's lucky to have you. They both are."

Wheeler waved away the comment, "Let's have dinner, I can't see Nat wanting to come back and join us tonight. I'll make sure they have something later."

In their cabin, Linka lay on her bed wishing the crying child in the other would let her comfort her. Like Wheeler, she recognised that there was more going on than just being overtired or bad tempered, but she had no idea how to help her except to try to find a balance between letting her know that she was there and giving her some space to let her feelings out.

When her sobs at last abated, Nat whispered in her native language, "I'm a horrible daughter."

"What you said wasn't very nice." Linka replied softly, likewise in Russian, "But there's a difference between acting badly and being horrible. Unless you meant it?"

"I'm sorry," Nat's voice was so quiet her relative had to concentrate to hear her, "But that's not what I meant. I think bad things."

Linka frowned, "What kind of bad things?"

The young girl swallowed, "I was so happy when we were at the park, I wished that… I wished we were a real family."

"That's not a bad thing, we are a family…" Linka was confused.

"Nyet!" Nat sat up and turned to her, her face a picture of devastation. "I shouldn't be happy with Mama and Papa gone, I didn't even think about them all day. It's wrong to want someone to take their place, it's like wishing them… dead. I'm horrible!"

Linka moved to take the child in her arms and though she resisted for a moment, she finally collapsed trembling into the Planeteer's arms, words still tumbling out. "I do miss them, I do. It just hurts so much to think about it, but then I forget and that's worse."

Rocking her gently as she tried to find the right words to comfort the stricken girl, Linka let her own tears flow. "I miss them too, I know it hurts, if I spent every day thinking about the people I have lost, I would never stop crying. I wish I could take the pain away for you but it is just something we have to learn to live with." She took a breath and tried to calm herself, "It is natural that we learn to be happy again too, it doesn't make you a horrible daughter. And Nina and Gregori would want you to be happy Natalya, you know they would."

"They wouldn't want me to pick new parents." She argued.

Linka kissed her head, thinking for a moment before speaking again, "Do you remember telling me how your friend Anna's parents got a divorce and her mother re-married?"

"Yes…" Nat sounded suspicious.

"Anna likes her step-father doesn't she?" Nat nodded, "And she still loves her father?"

Nat frowned, "Of course she does."

"So, couldn't you think of us like that too? I know the circumstances are different but you don't have to stop loving your Mama and Papa to think of us as… extra parents. Do you?" Linka looked down into her eyes, watching her process the thought.

"I guess not." Her gaze was still watery, "I just don't want to forget them."

Linka gave her a squeeze and turned for a moment to retrieve something from the bottom of her beside cabinet. She gave it to Nat, and settled them back against the headboard. "Grandmuska made us a photo album, there are more back in Russia but she thought we might like to have some pictures of our loved ones here. I know there are photographs of everyone in here, from my grandparents to you, shall we go through it together?"

Natalya hesitated but then nodded slowly and turned the first page.

"Wheeler," Ma-Ti looked at his friend, knowing that while he was pretending to watch the film they'd put on, his thoughts were elsewhere. He held up his ring hand and shrugged, "Linka is asking for cheese on toast?"

The American grinned, his whole posture changing, "Coming right up."

He left before Gi could offer any more opinions on parenting or relationships, although he was sure she had plenty to say to the others when he was gone. They were doing the best they could in a difficult situation… still he wondered what Linka had said and how things now stood.

When he knocked on their cabin a short time later, Linka's voice told him to come in. They were seated together on Nat's bed with what looked like a photo album between them. "Grilled cheese anyone?"

Conflicting emotions crossed the young girl's face at the sight of him, and what he carried, but then she lowered her eyes.

Linka accepted a plate with a fond smile. "Spasiba. Natalya and I have been sharing some stories about our parents." She took the other plate and handed it to the small girl, pulling her legs up in a silent invitation for him to sit down.

"Can I?" he touched the photo album with one finger and Linka nodded, letting him take it from her. "Looks like there's a lot of great memories in here."

"Da." Linka continued the conversation. "I was younger than Nat when I lost my mother, most of the memories I have are centred around the pictures my family took. It can be a very important."

Nat had been staring down at the food she'd been given, but hadn't picked it up. "I am sorry, for what I said earlier. You can yell at me if you want to."

Wheeler smiled at her, "That's ok Angel, we all say things we don't mean sometimes. I might be offended if you let that cheese get cold though."

The corners of her lips crept up into a half smile and she raised her eyes to peep up at him. He winked and she relaxed, deciding to tuck into her sandwich after all.

When the girls had finished eating and cleaned up, they went back to telling stories of their lost relatives, this time with an attentive audience, and it wasn't until Nat tried to stifle a big yawn that they realised how late it had got.

"Time for bed." Linka stood and put the album away.

"Can Jason stay?" Nat asked anxiously, "You could share with me and he could have your bed?"

Her relative hesitated, "That would not be very comfortable… and he will not be far away anyway."

Natalya's eyes were sad, "Please?"

Wheeler didn't say anything, so after a moment's consideration Linka said, "Maybe if we ask him nicely, we could all sleep in his room tonight. He has a much bigger bed after all."

Nat looked at Wheeler, "Can we? It would be like a sleepover."

"Sure," he laughed, "if you want."

The young girl launched herself into his arms, but at Linka's urging, quickly scrambled to get ready for bed in case they changed their minds.

It hadn't taken them long, and after declaring that Linka had to sleep in the middle because 'she belonged to both of them' Nat had almost immediately fallen into a deep and peaceful sleep against the Wind Planeteer's side.

Linka watched her daughter in the dim light of the moon and sighed.

"Wanna talk about it?" Wheeler whispered. Her head was on his arm and he was turned slightly towards her with his other arm tucked over her waist, her own holding it close.

"I wish I could tell her everything…" she told him softly, "I wish I did not think that it would just make it worse."

He kissed her temple, "She loves you, give her some more time. She'll be ready to hear it someday."

Linka smiled and threaded her fingers through his. "You did not mind, did you? Us sleeping in here I mean?"

"You know I don't," he kissed her head again, but she got the impression it was more drowsy affection than conscious action. "I'd have slept in your room like she said, if you'd asked."

"I wanted you closer." She admitted and he hugged her tighter, snuggling against her as he started to fall asleep. She closed her eyes and, comforted by the presence of her two favourite people, drifted off into pleasant dreams.

To be continued…