An upcoming op leaves one member unsure of his future, and his present.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?

Mission Gym

It was a lazy Thursday afternoon. Not much going on the in way of big cases so everyone spent time working on smaller projects. Callen and Kensi were taking the time to catch up on paperwork and Deeks was prepping for a short term undercover op. He was going to be working out at a boxing gym trying to gather evidence of weapons trafficking. Sam, having experience boxing himself, offered to help Deeks prepare. They stood in the gym, Deeks in gloves, and Sam holding pads for Deeks to target.

"How long this op supposed to take?" Sam asked, moving his hands around, giving Deeks different targets to punch at.

"Shouldn't be too long, a week at most. Thank God it's not a deep cover op. I don't know if I could handle one of those right now" Deeks said, focusing on the training. Deeks' usual cheery demeanor was nowhere close by right now.

"Let me ask you something, Deeks." Sam said, swinging for his head. Deeks ducked and threw a body blow that Sam blocked. "Why are you still LAPD?" He asked.

Deeks dropped his hands for a second before ducking a swipe from Sam and throwing a couple of jabs. "I like being a cop. It's who I am." Deeks said.

"That's good and all. But you've been here for 6 years now. You are an Agent in all but name. Why?" Sam said.

"This is the first place I feel like I belong, Sam. I don't have a family. No siblings, Mom passed away, dead Dad." Deeks said, really wanting to end the conversation right there. "I don't want to change any of that."

"Nothing will change for the worse if you become an Agent, Deeks. Hell, not really much is going to change at all." Sam said. They decided to take a break. Deeks walked over to the wall and slid down it. His shaggy hair covered in sweat. He sat there breathing heavy when a shadow came over him. He looked up and saw Sam holding out a bottle of water.

"Thanks" He said, taking the water and bringing it to his lips to take a big swig.

"I get it. You feel like you don't belong. You still feel like an outsider." Sam said, sitting next to him.

"I never wanted to be some super Special Agent when I was growing up. I didn't want to go to other countries to fight battles, fight terrorists and arms dealers, deal with weapons of mass destruction. I just wanted to help people." Deeks said.

"You do, Deeks. You have helped so many people here, you just don't realize it. And it's not just people out there" he nodded his head toward the door outside. "You help people in here." Sam said, patting the ground. "I know Kensi has been wanted to see you become an Agent. Nell, Eric, even Callen. We all want to see you take what belongs to you." Sam said. He stood up and pulled Deeks up. "Think about it, man." Sam said as he walked away to go hit the shower.

Deeks stood there for a few moments, trying to process what Sam had said. He started to undo the gloves and he dropped them on the floor. He then walked into the locker room to get a shower himself

Later

Hetty was going through a stack of papers when Deeks walked up and sat down across from her. "Can I bother you for a second, Hetty?" He asked.

"I could use a distraction. What is on your mind?" Hetty said, setting the pen down and folding her hands together.

"A few years ago you gave me a file before you left for Prague. You said I could hold on to it until I was ready." He said.

Hetty nodded. "Indeed I did, Mr. Deeks."

Deeks opened the folder, looking at the contents, before closing it and handing it to her. "I'm ready now." He said.

She took the folder, opened it and looked at the paper. "Forgive me for saying this but it's about damn time." She said with a slight smile. Deeks smiled back.

"I'm a slow learner." He said.

"This will take a few days to process. It should be ready when you get back from your operation. " Hetty said, placing the folder to the side.

"Good. Just do me a favor. Don't tell anyone until I get back?" He asked.

"Of course, Mr. Deeks. Now, you be careful out there. Come back to us whole." She said.

Deeks stood up. "I will."

The Next Week

Deek's returned from the undercover op successful. They had made the arrest and stopped the flow of weapons. The team greeted him warmly, then they sat down to begin work for the day Eric and Nell came down the stairs. Hetty walked up to the bullpen carrying a small box.

"Do we have a case?" Kensi asked.

"Yes, Ms Blye. We do have a case but before we do there is some more pressing matters." Hetty said. She looked over a Deeks. "Mr. Deeks. I must ask for your badge." Hetty said.

Deeks stood up and walked around his desk to her.

"Hetty, what is going on?" Kensi said, a hint of panic in her voice.

"Simple, Ms Blye. We are saying good bye to our LAPD Liaison Officer" Hetty said.

Deeks pulled out his badge from his back pocket and stared at it for a few moments. He then handed it to her.

"And we are welcoming our new team member. NCIS Special Agent Martin Andrew Deeks." Hetty said as she opened the box, revealing a new NCIS Badge and ID card.

The whole team smiled and clapped their hands as Deeks took the badge and admired it.

"How does it feel, Agent Deeks?" Hetty asked.

"Like it belongs to me. Like I belong here." Deeks said.

"Also you will not need to surrender your sidearm. I spoke with Director Vance and he agreed to allow you to continue to use your current weapon." Hetty said.

"Wow. That is great, Hetty!" Deeks said, laughing.

"Consider this a welcome aboard gift. Now we all have work to do." Hetty said as she waved toward Ops.

Callen and Sam walked over a gave Deeks a hand shake and a pat on the back. Nell followed, giving Deeks and hug and a kiss on the cheek, following by Eric giving him a hug as well. Everyone left for Ops, leaving Kensi standing there, watching him.

"What do you say, Fern?" Deeks said.

Kensi felt tears welling up. "You have no idea how proud I am right now." She said, wiping a tear from her face. She walked over and threw her arms around his neck. "I am so happy for you." She said.

Deeks stroked her cheek. "Come on, partner. We have work to do." He said before kissing her. They broke the kiss and he took her hand as they walked up the stairs and on to another day at the office.