Halfway across the world, one soldier's words ring true
HOME
Mission
To say that Deeks was having the week from hell was about the biggest understatement he had ever heard. From his fight with Kensi, to Thapa showing back up, to Sam getting shot and Thapa being killed trying to save him, to Kensi suggesting a night off from each other (which he didn't seem to mind, he was in a lousy mood anyway and didn't want to upset her). All of it kept piling on and piling on. He was getting maybe 3 hours of sleep a night if he was lucky and he just found himself hating life right now. So it should have not been any surprise when he walked in and saw the note on his desk to see Hetty when he got in the first thought was What now? He set his bag down and walked over to her desk where she was enjoying a cup of tea and she had set out a cup of coffee for him.
"Sit down, Mr. Deeks." She said, waving to the seat.
"For me?" Deeks looked at the coffee.
"Of course." Hetty smiled.
He grabbed the cup and took a drink of it.
"So, you wanted to see me?" He asked as he set the coffee down.
"Yes. As you know Thapa's body is being transported back to India in a few hours. He is to receive full State honors as well as India's highest military honor." Hetty said, folding her hands.
"As a show of our respect for what he has done for us the Navy is sending him back on a Gulfstream and Director Vance, Grainger, and I want you to accompany the body. You will not have to attend the ceremony if you do not want to. But we want to show his family how much we appreciate his work." She said.
Deeks starred off into space, trying to process everything.
"You do not have to accept this, if you do not want to, Mr. Deeks. No one will think less of you." Hetty said, almost reading his mind. Deeks found himself for a few moments actually considering turning it down. He forced it out of his head and looked at her.
"Okay. I'll do it."He said.
She nodded her head. "Thank you, Mr. Deeks. I already have a bag prepared for you. The flight leaves in two hours so you have some time." Hetty said.
Deeks didn't say anything; he just stood up and walked back to his desk. Callen and Kensi came in a few minutes afterward. Deeks asked how Sam was and Callen updated him on his condition. Deeks explained to them how he was going to be gone for a few days.
When he broke the news to him Callen and Kensi both nodded in silent agreement. Kensi tried to hide it but her eyes betrayed that she was worried about him.
When the time came for Deeks to leave the whole team met in the Bullpen to see him off. Eric and Nell gave him some movies to watch on the flight, Callen shook his hand with a firm look that he was going to be ok, and Kensi gave him a tight hug. She didn't want to kiss him in front of everyone but she did whisper in his ear.
"Call me when you land. I don't care what time it is." She said.
"I will." Deeks said.
He grabbed his bag and walked outside where the car was waiting to drive him to the airport.
Gulfstream
Deeks climbed aboard the plane and handed his back to the stewardist on the plane.
"Welcome aboard Detective. I'm Mary. I'll be taking care of you on this flight. We should be taking off in about 20 min of you want to get settled in." The woman smiled.
"Uh. Thanks." Deeks said as he sat down in one of the chairs and buckled in.
"Where is everyone else?" Deeks asked.
"You are the only passenger on this flight, Detective. We weren't made aware otherwise."
Deeks nodded like he understood when he didn't but he didn't want to go any further.
He looked down on his phone and saw he had two messages.
Have a Safe flight. Try to get some rest. I put some sleeping pills in your bag in case you need them
Hetty
He must really look like Hell. He sent a quick Thanks and looked at the other message.
I'm really sorry this week has been so bad for you. It has been bad for all of us but I know you are taking it worse. When you get home I am going to do whatever it takes to make you happy. Until then I love you.
He smiled a little bit as he sent I love you too back to Kensi. He then flicked his phone to Airplane Mode right as Mary told him they would be taking off in 5 minutes. He felt the plane taxi down the runway and then take off. As they climbed Deeks started to settle into his chair. Mary came by.
"Would you like something to drink?" She asked with a smile.
"Can I get some water, please?" Deeks asked.
"Of course, Detective." She said as she walked to the back of the cabin and fixed his drink. She brought it back and set it down on the table next to him.
"Let me know if you need anything else." She said.
"Thank you." Deeks forced a smile as she turned and walked away. He opened his bag and found the pills Hetty gave him. He pulled one out, tossed it in his mouth and took a drink of water. He pushed the seat back and started out over the ocean, slowly feeling the pill start to take effect as his eyelids became heavier and heavier until he finally surrendered to the darkness of sleep.
As he slept he dreamed. He dreamed of Monty, he dreamed of Sam and Callen, of Eric and Nell. He dreamed of his friends he had lost, he dreamed of his family, he dreamed of the ocean waves and the snow covered mountains. But above all he dreamed of her. He dreamed of her wavy hair, her perfect skin, her mismatched eyes, her beautiful smile, her amazing body, her gentle touch, her soothing voice. No matter what he dreamed about it always came back to her.
The plane shook Deeks out of his sleep. He realized he was covered with a blanket and a pillow was under his head. He sat up and looked out the window, seeing they were over land. He look up as Mary walked up to him.
"Glad to see you're awake. We are landing in 2 hours. Are you hungry?" She asked.
"Yea, a little." Deeks said.
Mary smiled and walked away. She returned shortly after with some eggs and bacon with fresh coffee.
"You've been asleep for almost 19 hours so I figure you would like some breakfast." She said.
"Thanks." Deeks said as he started to eat. Ridiculously expensive plane aside it was still airline food but he was starving so it felt like a 5 star meal to him. After he finished up eating he got his back out and went to the lavatory to get ready. He washed his hair in the sink, brushed his teeth and trimmed his facial hair. Opening his bag he pull out a black set of clothes and smiled. It was his LAPD Dress uniform. Hetty had the forethought to pack it for him. He quickly changed and stepped out, retrieving his hat from the bag and setting back down. Mary brought him another cup of coffee as they made their decent into New Delhi. As they landed and pulled up to the tarmac he saw a group standing there with a herse. There was a group of military men and a woman and two small children, one male and the other female. They pulled to a stop as Deeks stood up and exited the plane.
When he set foot on the ground he stood rigid at attention. He turned on the balls of his shoes and walked to the cargo door. He stopped next to it and stood at attention as the military guard stepped foreward with a cart. One opened the cargo door and started to pull the casket, draped in the American Flag, out of the plane. As soon as the casket came into view Deeks saluted and held the salute. The solders lowered the casket onto the cart and then started to remove the Flag. Reverently folding it one of the soldiers stood in front of Deeks and saluted him before handing the flag to him. Two more unfurled an Indian flag and draped it over the casket as they slowly took it to the herse
Deeks stood there, still holding the salute. In the back of his mind he thought how much he didn't want to be there. He was hot, he was tired, he was cranky, and it was too dry, too sandy here. He then flashed back to Thapa's words.
I've been walking the warrior's path for so long that home isn't a place anymore. It is a feeling. It is my wife's smile, my children's laughter, the friendship I never expected. I built my home on these feelings so I would never have to leave. So home is not in the heart. Home... is the heart.
He decided to heed Thapa's words. He felt himself drawn away from the airport. He found himself in a cabin in Montana, up in the mountains. He looked around and saw Monty there, asleep at his feet. He was lying on the couch in front of the fire and she was there too. She was curled in his arms, whispering "I love you"s to him. For the first time in days, he felt home.
They finished loading the casket into the car as one of the soldiers and the family walked up to him. The soldier saluted him.
"My name is Gugan Singh. On behalf of the Indian people, I thank you for bringing Thapa home." He said.
"He was one of the bravest men I have ever known. His death is a great loss for your people." Deeks said.
The little girl said something to the soldier.
"She wants to know if you were with her father when he died." He translated.
Deeks knelt down to be eye to eye with the girl.
"I was. You're father saved a man who is very close with me. I will never forget his sacrifice." He said. The soldier translated for the girl who stepped forward and grabbed Deeks in a hug.
The son stepped forward. "I hope to one day become a great warrior like my father." He said and the solder translated.
"He will always watch over you. You will make him proud." He said.
Deeks pulled out a note pad and scribbled on it. He tore a page off and handed it to them. "This is my address. Please feel free to write me whenever you want. If you find yourself missing him then write me and I will answer." He said.
Deeks stood up as the woman spoke. "She says the last time he was home he spoke of you. He talked about how you were a confused man but a honorable one. One that he was glad to call friend. He would have wanted you to have this." She held out a wrapped bundle. He unraveled it to reveal a Kukri. "Gurkan tradition states the warrior is buried with his Kukri and he will be. But this is one of his spares. He would have wanted you to have it." She explained.
A tear started to well up in Deeks' eyes. "I will cherish it for as long as I live." He replied.
"Would you like to stay for the ceremony?" She asked.
Deeks thought long and hard. "I am afraid I can't. I must go home." He said.
She smiled. "I understand. But you will always have family here. Farewell Mr. Deeks. May the strength of the Gurkah follow you." She said as she took his hand in hers.
The family turned and walked away, getting into the vehicle and driving off. Deeks wrapped the Kukri back up and went back onboard the plane. He sat down and packed the Kukri in his bag. Mary walked up giving him some water. "We will be refueled in 20 min and will be on our way shortly afterward." She said. Deeks changed out of his uniform and sat down right as they were getting ready to take off.
Los Angeles
The trip back was just as uneventful as the trip over. Deeks managed to nap a few hours at a time but when he got back he was exhausted. The feelings he had crept back in. He was home but he wasn't Home. Not yet.
It was well past midnight when he pulled up to his apartment. Slowly he climbed the stairs and opened the door. Monty came up to him, wagging his tail. He reached down and petting his friend on the head. "I'm back." He said. He looked up and saw her standing in front of him. She was dressed for bed but had obviously not gone to sleep. She was waiting for him. She stood there, staring into his eyes. It was her eyes that finally did it. Like a dam breaking he collapsed to his knees and started to cry. She knelt down and wrapped her arms around him, holding on to him and softly rocking him back and forth. He cried for everyone who was lost to him. Everything that he had bottled up for days came flowing out.
Kensi could do nothing but hold on to him. She whispered to him that it was alright. Everything was alright but it did little. Eventually his sobs tapered off and she released him. "Come to bed." She said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him up. She led him into the bedroom and slowly started to peel his clothes off. Her hands traced over his skin as she took her own clothes off and then pulled him into bed with her. She whispered to him. "I love you," as they made love. When they finished he collapsed onto the bed next to her. She curled up against him and softly stroked his back as he fell asleep. She closed her eyes and followed soon afterward.
1 year later
Deeks stood on the beach staring into the mismatched eyes of Kensi. He smiled and laughed, looking down trying to will himself to talk.
"An old friend of mine told me once of his home. He was a brave man, a warrior. He talked about how his home wasn't a place. It was a feeling. It was the smile of his wife, the laughter of his children, the friendships he had. He said he built his house on those feelings so he would never be away from home. I never really understood what he meant until he died. As I was escorting his body back I imagined my home. And you were there Kensi. When I saw your smile for the first time in many years I finally felt home. And no matter how far apart we may be, I know I will always be home when you are in my heart. I love you Kensi Blye, and I look forward to the many years as your husband." He said as he slid the ring onto her finger. Kensi had to pull a hand away to cover her mouth from the soft sobs escaping. A quick glance saw she wasn't the only one. He looked over at the Navy Chaplin and nodded.
"By the power vested in me by the State of California and the United States Navy, I now pronouce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." He said.
Deeks reached out and cupped Kensi's cheek as he pulled her into a kiss. Everyone stood and started to applause as they broke the kiss and turned to the crowd.
"May I present Mr. and Mrs. Martin Deeks." The chaplain said as they started to walk down the pathway back to the boardwalk where their reception was set up.
Deeks leaned into Kensi. "I told you I would eventually tell you what he said." She laid her head on his shoulder, obviously moved. "Let's build that home together." She said. "Together" He repeated as the guest started to line up to congratulate them
You know you have some good writing on your hands when you almost depress yourself writing it. Hope you all enjoyed it.
Check my profile for a poll on what your favorite episode out of the first 20 are. Im curious to see which one you all pick as your favorite. I have my own personal favorites but I want to see what you all think. Thank you for your continued Reads, Reviews, Follows, and Favorites. More to come!
