You knew the moment he asked you that you never wanted to go back to your old life ever again

NO LOOKING BACK

Eric and Nell's apartment

The sound of soft thunder brought you out of your dream state. You opened your eyes to stare directly into the eyes of Iron Man. Looking up slightly you see the face of the man wearing the Iron Man shirt, his glasses gone and his eyes closed. It takes a few seconds to dawn on you that both of you are napping on the couch this rainy Sunday afternoon. A small smile on his face as you feel his arm wrapped around your waist in a loving and protective way. That is one thing that you love about him, one of ten thousand things. You always feel safe in his arms, secure, protected. No matter if you are scared, upset, angry, or hurt. His embrace, his caress always makes the demons of your mind go away and in their place feelings of contentment and love fill you until you feel you are going to burst.

If there is one thing you will always regret in your life is that you didn't act on these feelings for him sooner. You knew he saw you as more than a friend as time went on. The late night movie marathons, the video game binges, even the little things like going for walks all cemented in your mind that you enjoy this person, your partner and your friend. But fear and doubt always grew in the back of your mind. You have dated many men before him who couldn't handle your quirks. Your personality was too strong for them, and in the end you drove them away. Each time they took a piece of your heart with them and all that was left was pain.

But slowly, way too slowly for your taste, those gaps started to be filled by him. You found yourself smiling, genuinely smiling, when he made a joke, when he embarrassed himself, and even just when you saw him every morning.

You let him into places no one had been in many years. You took him to meet your family, you invited him over, and you convinced him to dress up as an Elf for Christmas. And he did it without question. He may have complained a bit at times but you knew deep down he was just glad to spend time with you, and you were with him as well.

But you could never take that last step with him. You never could let yourself admit that you are in love with him. Even late night text conversations with Nate couldn't push you past your fear. Thankfully, by the grace of whatever God exists he finally forced his way through those blocks. That night was a night in heaven. You spend the night together in your bed, skin against skin, after a marathon of giving each other. You can't really call it sex, because it was so much more than that. It was the perfect definition of making love.

Two months later and you are still on cloud 9. You can feel your heart bursting through your chest when you wake up in his arms. Even spending all day every day with him, both at home and at work, you can't stand being away from him for too long. He had to spend a week in DC and you hated every second of it.

Much to your embarrassment that little event ousted your secret to Hetty when Eric returned. Eric, in a shocking display of courage, told Hetty that if there was a problem with you being together then he would tender his resignation immediately. But what she said surprised you even more.

"Mr. Beale. If I were to have a problem with you and Miss Jones deciding to act on your feelings then I would be nothing more than a hypocrite. You are not the only people in this building who have decided to have a personal relationship outside of work. And just as I gave them time to sort out their feelings and try to find a balance between work and their personal life so will I give you time as well. I do have to warn you that if this becomes an issue that jeopardizes our team then I will intervene. And I know you don't want that to happen just as much as I do." Hetty replied, leaning back in her chair with her fingers splayed and pressed together.

You felt like a gigantic weight was lifted off both of your shoulders.

"Now I have held you long enough. One more thing I require of you is to tell the team. They deserve to know" Hetty said with a smile.

You both silently gave her your thanks and left, joining the team in the bullpen. Deeks, having the curiosity of a 3 year old, instantly asked what Hetty wanted.

"She had to talk to us about my trip to DC." Eric said.

"That it?" Deeks seemed disappointed.

"No that wasn't all. She also asked us to tell you all something." Nell said.

"What was that?" Kensi asked.

Without saying a word you reached over and took Eric's hand in yours, your fingers intertwining like they always did now.

Callen picked up on it. With a raised eyebrow he pointed between the two of you.

"You and him, officially?" He asked. Realization dawned on the others quickly.

You both nodded.

"That's great!" Kensi said, excited to see her close friend happy.

The team gave their congratulations before Deeks offered to take everyone out to a celebratory drink. Wisely no one declined that night.

You stretched your body out, almost like a cat as you yawned. The movement caused him to jerk a bit and he opened his eyes drowsily. He groaned a bit.

"Go back to sleep." You say in a low voice, gently placing a kiss on his jaw.

He mumbles an acceptance before closing his eyes. You snuggle closer to him, feeling the warmth of his body against your cheek.

"I love you, Eric." You whisper as you feel your body relax in his arms again, slowly drifting back to sleep. You made a promise that you would say it whenever you felt it. You were never going to hide your feelings to him. You were never going to look back on how things were. You were always going to be with this man until only death separates you.

When I finished No Going Back I really wanted to turn it into a two parter and do a follow up from Nell's perspective. So here you go. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it.

Plug time!

As always if you have Spotify please check out the Tales from the Mission Soundtrack. Either search by the name or by my Username (Serotonin2501) and look in my playlists. I do have some new music based episodes in the works so once those published I will add to the soundtrack.

Also We are now 1 month away from the year anniversary of TftM and I currently have a poll for which episode you want for the Anniversary episode. The poll will close Feb 1.

Thank you for Reading, Reviewing, Favoriteing, and Following.

POST UPDATE

Whoops. Didn't realize I was a total idiot and forgot to add said poll I've been pushing for the past few episodes to my profile.