August 14th 2023

Chapter 226
We Bloom and Remember

He hadn't known what to expect for this year, when February would have come along, but when they did arrive at the start of that month, he found himself in just the kind of headspace he'd expected to end up in. Last year had been difficult in its own way, it being the very first anniversary since his mother's passing. Now they were coming up on the second one and, even if he wouldn't know for sure until it had been three, four, five years, ten years, twenty… He felt that there could be no doubt, that he would be feeling messy and all over the place every single year when he was reminded once again of the day when his mother had been taken from him, from all of them.

He didn't want those emotions to spill out, to touch any of the children most of all. Maya almost couldn't help but be in that line of sight, could she? No, she saw it all coming, sensed it in him, and because she was who she'd always been, she was right there to support him as best she could. That included shielding the girls in whatever way possible without shutting them out either. It wasn't so hard, most of the time. Being around them, he would feel their energy, their life, their joy, their love… and he would be right there with them. It would be harder to get in that space with them and stay there, the closer they came to the actual day, and on that day most of all, he knew, but they would deal with everything running up to that day and its dark clouds.

Maybe in anticipation of all that, he'd been spending every weekday at the ranch, from morning to afternoon, with one or both of the boys. Today, he had them both, Ezra and Finneas, and they were off to Sullivan Stables right after Maya left to drop off the girls at school. He'd offered to do one of the two schools, seeing as he was leaving, too, but Maya insisted she'd be just fine doing the preschool and the elementary school on her own, leading their girls into a rousing singalong the whole way. He knew she was doing it to set him on his way without having to make any stops on the way, even if he would have made this one gladly, so he went along with the boys.

"We're here, huh, Finny?" Lucas chuckled. It was like clockwork, when they'd take the last turn before the arch would come into view, letting them know that they were arriving at Sullivan Stables. Finneas would go and start squealing, babbling, pointing out the window. This wasn't as good news for Ezra if he'd been asleep, which he usually was by the time they made it to this point, as the sounds would startle and wake him and make him start to cry. Finneas would be startled, confused, and would very likely start to cry, too, if Ezra didn't stop, so it was a good thing that, more often than not, all it would take would be a few seconds of the baby hearing his mama's voice singing to him from the speakers and he would quiet down. It was that quick, three, four seconds tops, and he'd start to blink, like a hand had just reached out and brought him back down from wherever he'd been floating off to.

He was even better once Lucas could scoop him up and hold him. They took off together, Finn holding to his uncle's hand and walking on his giddy little legs. Lucas was still not 'here' here, officially speaking. He wasn't looking after the horses, the ranch at large. They were visitors, for the most part. Today though, he had committed himself to helping in the preparations for this year's edition of the Equestrian Ball. Part of him might have preferred not to get involved, thinking about what had happened not too long after the ball two years back, but really it was because of all that… because of his memories of his mother and how much she'd loved being here, with his father, with all of them, that he needed to be involved, to make it as good of a ball as his mother would have raved about.

He didn't have to worry about where the boys would fit into this scenario. Neither one of them could really do anything to assist, no, but everyone was always so happy to see them, to hold them or play with them. Olivia Zhu, valiant assistant that she was, made it her personal mission, which was great for Ezra and Finn, less so for anyone trying to get a turn with either of them.

At lunch, they retreated out to the Bed and Breakfast, where they were joined by those who were able to join them, which today included Donna, Carson, and Sylvie, who held Ezra throughout the meal. She would sign with one hand, always where the baby could see her do it, a great smile on her face. Lucas knew that she and her husband had started talking about children, and to look at her, the baby fever was running high in her. After everything she'd been through, the night they'd both been attacked, he could only with Pawel and her all the best.

While Sylvie had the baby, Donna was having the best time entertaining Finneas, who she insisted had the makings of a great and expressive dancer. Lucas would look at his nephew and… yeah, she might have had a point with that one. The little guy loved to move around, and if they tried to get him to do something, a hop, a turn, he would go right ahead and give it his best shot. If they said 'again,' he'd do it again. If they cheered him on, he'd cheer back and do the thing he'd been asked to do all over again. He was doing this now, as Lucas and Carson looked on, amused at watching the small boy and the old woman 'dancing' in their chairs. The archive director was doing much better now, enough that they could almost forget the illness that had worried them all so much and made them fear losing him. He wasn't getting any younger, no, but to look at him now, one could have believed that he was winding the clock back, and they took this with a breath of relief.

Lucas would bring the boys back home in the afternoon, just in time to receive Maya and the girls as they returned, too. Finneas would be so happy to wait for all his cousins to come along, especially if he got to play outside with the dogs while they did this waiting. Finally, they would spot the minivan coming along, and the dogs would be the first to know, the way they'd stop and turn and start to bark excitedly. That'd be the signal for Lucas to get up collect the small boy, bringing him back up to join Ezra as they waited for the minivan to pull up and come to a stop.

What followed would be a lot of talking all at once, and everyone slowly but surely making their way into the house. Bags would be collected in the midst of this chaos, set aside, along with shoes, or jackets, when they were required, as they were that day, and more often than not this would be followed by the girls hurrying up to their rooms to look for one thing or another. As they did in the morning when they came down and in the evening before going up for the night, they would greet their Granny's picture as they went past it on the wall.

That day, he looked up to find Marianne lagging when she reached the picture, and he wasn't surprised. All her life, they'd called her Melinda's soulmate, and it had been said in sweetness, as a joke, for the most part, but then for having known them together, and for now having to see Marianne without her grandmother these past two years… It was as though she'd actually lost a part of herself, and she had no idea how to function without it. There were plenty of people out there who would be said to understand what he was going through these days, as they drew closer to the anniversary. His father, his uncle Mike, his wife… But it was his daughter, his firstborn, who felt to him as though she was closest to what he was feeling.

"Hey, Pumpkin?" he spoke up. She didn't turn around, but he knew she heard him. "Do me a favor, can you bring the picture down for me?" That made her turn her head, unsure she had heard him right. He pointed and nodded, and, after a beat, she did as told, carrying the frame with care back to where he sat on the sofa's armrest. She held it out to him as he moved to sit on the seat and motioned for her to join him.

"She didn't like getting her picture taken," Marianne remarked.

"Well…" Lucas chuckled, the words bringing back several memories at once. "It wasn't exactly that she didn't like it, more like… She loved taking pictures of everyone else, the people she loved… When you came along, I'm telling you, it's a good thing she didn't have a camera like your mom and your Grandpa have, because she couldn't have kept up with getting them all developed," he let her know, smiling, and seeing that smile echo back on to his daughter's face, he felt his heart grow lighter and lighter. "So, when she had to be the one to get her picture taken, it wasn't the same. She never needed the spotlight on herself. That's why it looked like she didn't like being photographed," he explained, nodding to the picture in its frame.

She wasn't even covering her face, or giving an expression that said that she didn't want the picture taken, far from it. To the untrained eye, there was someone who was more than happy to pose for the image. But then those who knew her, really knew her, they'd look at the image and they'd see it, in the back of her eyes, in the corners of her smile. Some part of her was waiting to move out of the camera's shot.

"You know what the best way was to get her to have her picture taken?" Lucas asked his daughter. Marianne smiled up at him.

"Please, Granny, can I take your picture?" she pretended, and Lucas tipped his finger to her. Bingo. She looked back at the picture. "I miss her…" she quietly spoke. He wrapped his arm around her, feeling those same emotions awaken in him. "I miss her all the time, but now…"

"Now you feel it even more," he guessed, and he could see her reach to swipe tears from her eyes. "That's okay, you know? I'm right there with you. I think it might do us both some good if we talked it out sometimes, yeah?"

"Yeah…" she mumbled. "Dad?"

"Yeah, pumpkin?"

"I don't know if I want to go to the ball this year."

"That's okay," he told her without hesitation. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Sometimes I do, but then… sometimes I don't. Because of Granny, and… I don't know…"

"How about we leave it on the table? The day of the ball, if you don't want to go, we won't go. But if you do, then can I get first dance with you?" he asked her. The way she looked up at him, like she knew he was trying to coax a smile out of her, she looked just like her mother, and it made him smile. "You're right, that was very corny of me."

"Huckleberry," she accused, smirking.

"Yeah, that, too."

TO BE CONTINUED

See you tomorrow! - mooners