(Author's Notes: Here's Chapter 82! It was supposed to have more scenes, but it turned out to be longer than I expected, so I ended up adding the other scenes to the next chapter, along with a couple others that I switched around. I think it works better that way anyways because there's a lot here.
Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!)
Chapter 82: Fissures
A primordial howl ripped through the sky.
The entire landscape was stained pitch black. The sprawling plains were drained of all colour, a lifeless, sallow grey, the very earth darker than the deepest depths of Tartarus.
The ground ripped open, and long, jagged cracks tore deep through the earth. Fire and lava erupted from the fissures, spewing into the sulphuric air like hellish fountains. All organic life withered and died, wilting into lifeless cinders and crystallizing into igneous rock. Smoke and ash swept across the landscape, cinders carried in the tempestuous breeze like fireflies.
The heavy air bore down oppressively. The night sky was stained with an all-consuming cloak of harsh, lightless indigo. The moon and stars had been completely swallowed by the overwhelming firmament. The only light in the sky was in the form of crimson flash of lighting, tearing across the sky and stabbing into the earth. Every time the lightning struck, the ground would split, sending new geysers of lava erupting into the air.
It was a scene of darkness – a scene of chaos.
He couldn't speak, even to shout. His ears felt clogged, as if he was underwater. He could only hear muffled wails and cries, as if they were mere vestiges of distant carnage. They were drowned out by his heavy, ragged breaths and the cracking bellows of thunder.
His mind was panicked. He could only see in front of him, his peripheral vision warping and vanishing. The infernal scene in front of him stretched out like a tunnel. It felt as though the ground below was fracturing beneath him.
He wasn't just scared… he was angry. No, not just angry…
Enraged.
His heart was racing, palpitating like a drum and sending blood coursing through his veins. His limbs felt numb, as if super-charged with energy. His chest was tight – so tight. It was as if his ribs were collapsing on themselves, squeezing the air out of his lungs and squeezing his heart. He could hardly breathe, sucking in oxygen as if he was hyperventilating.
Everything was a blur. His eyes were foggy, bleary, stinging from the smoke and ash.
As he sucked in air, he could taste the smoke in his throat. The acrid taste of sulphur curdled his tongue and burned his nostrils. His mind was a blaze of pain and chaotic fragments of consciousness. His confused mind was racing at a million miles a minute, as if being tearing through a claustrophobic maze without being able to stop.
He felt threats coming at him from every direction. The instinctual fight-or-flight response, the overwhelming paranoia, they took over. He couldn't stop to think. He had to act, or else he would be dead within seconds.
His muscles surged with power. His body was unnaturally lighter than ever before. Every movement was like a lightning strike.
Then, danger, from behind him. A blade plunging towards his back. He had to act, or that would be it.
No, not just 'had to' – he wanted to. He wanted to so badly, to free himself of this bubbling rage that boiled away in the pressure cooker of his heart. It was building like a steaming kettle, a howling whistle as it reached its screaming crescendo.
There was no time. He spun around.
There was a blur of brown metal. Two green dots within them. The shimmer of a blade descending on him. He swung his arm out violently, desperately. His hand caught the brown figure, and there was a spray of crimson liquid.
A muffled shout echoed in his ear. He spun towards it and saw a shining blade gleaming with holy wrath as it thrust towards his face. He wanted to get rid of it. He plunged his arm forwards, the tip of his spear catching the cobalt blur, piercing straight through a golden 'V' and turning it scarlet.
The threats were coming at him from every direction, the danger all-consuming. Kicking off the blue blur, he spun around, a golden wisp speeding at him with a roar. With a muffled roar of his own, he swept his arm out, catching the golden comet in the sky in a burst of red.
More amorphous enemies charged him – violet, red, pink, white figures, lunging with their weapons. He swept his arm out in a wide arc, his claws rending through them like soft clay. Red liquid sprayed out like the molten lava from the fissures.
They were soon replaced by more figures, their bodies becoming a little more distinct. A white, black, and red one, a white and red one… He plunged the edge of his shield into one's head, while spewing fire to engulf the other.
Panting, he spun around, his eyes wild as the iron taste of blood stained his nose and covered his tongue. He snarled, when he saw a black, humanoid figure standing alone on the battlefield, a glowing blade within his hand. Without hesitation, he charged towards the dark figure.
He raced faster than ever before, spurred on by his rage and bloodlust. He lunged through the flames, eager to strike, but something got in his way. The blurry form of a crimson dragon swept down from the sky and blocked his path, raising its lance at him, about to strike.
An obstacle, a nuisance. He hissed and ducked underneath the thrust of the lance, charging headlong into the figure. He plunged his lance deep inside of it, before pumping grey light into it from his shield. As the light poured out of the figure's back, he kept going, cutting forwards until he reached the black figure.
He clashed blades with the black silhouette, howling light and cascading embers erupting between them. However, he quickly overpowered his foe, knocking him to the ground and getting on top of him. He wrapped his hands around the figure's neck and plunged his claws into his flesh as he strangled him. He resisted the figure's thrashing and tightened his hold.
As the figure's desperate movements began to cease, there was one more shout from behind him – one more threat.
In his feral frenzy, he looked over his shoulder with wild eyes. This time he saw, as clear as day, a white knight charging towards him with a sword levelled with his back.
"DUKEMON!" the white figure shouted with utter rage.
He jolted to his feet and spun around, all too eager to meet his charge. He raised the conical lance that covered his right arm and plunged it forwards, past the thrusting sword. His lance struck first, piercing through the figure's white chest and tearing out his back in a burst of crimson.
It was then, in the ensuing silence, that he had the chance to stop and see what he had done.
Impaled on the end of his lance was Omegamon, who fell to his knees, gazing up at him with stunned, blue eyes. Blood leaked down his neck and poured out of his wound.
"Duke…mon…" Omegamon wheezed with wide, sad eyes.
"W…What…?" he felt himself speak in a muffled voice. What had he done? Why had he stabbed Omegamon? Why had Omegamon tried to kill him?
"O-Omegamon… I… I didn't…" his voice echoed as if from another body.
His frenzy was beginning to clear. His tunnel vision faded and he desperately withdrew his lance.
Dukemon looked around, and was horrified at what he saw… horrified at what he had done.
As he looked around him, he saw the burnt, bloodied, fragmenting bodies of the Royal Knights strewn at his feet. All twelve of his friends, dead and dying… by his own hand.
Dukemon recoiled, his eyes wide with horror and overwhelming guilt. This couldn't be happening… He couldn't have done this…
He stared down at Omegamon, watching as blood and data poured out of his body.
"Why… Dukemon…?" Omegamon whispered, before his body burst into data.
Dukemon watched as each of the twelve knights disappeared one after another… leaving him all alone in the apocalyptic landscape.
His throat tightened, choking him. He fell to his knees in guilt and despair… trying desperately to release the anguished scream that was trapped in his throat. He wanted the ground to swallow him and the darkness to consume him…
The black closed in… and then there was an intense, blinding light.
"Dukemon!" a voice shouted urgently.
Dukemon bolted upwards with a gasp.
He jerked his head around desperately. His vision was a liquid blur of sleep-addled blurriness and tears. He panted vigorously, sucking oxygen into his tightened chest.
The darkness faded, replaced by the morning dawn light that filtered in from the windows. Dukemon blinked rapidly, each wipe causing his wide, terrified eyes to see more clearly. As the tearful haze was blinked away, he became aware of his surroundings.
He was in his room… The breaching rays of dawn cast their light horizontally through the stone windows. The warm glow of sunlight against the stone, glimmering off his racked suit of armour… He was safe. It was just a dream… wasn't it?
Then, as he turned his head forwards, he noticed something red directly to his right. Although still shaken and out-of-sorts, Dukemon looked towards it.
Grani was floating right beside his bed, his large, metal body tilted forwards as he gazed urgently into Dukemon's eyes.
Although his sapphire eyes were distant and stoic, the way that Grani leaned in, past the boundaries of the bed, told him that he was worried about him.
The sight of his Zero ARMS, his trusted friend, floating right beside him instinctively caused a wave of calm to wash over his tremulous heart. Grani was there… He really was safe.
Dukemon let out a quivering sigh and leaned forwards. He brought his knees up and propped his elbows against them, placing his face in his warm, clammy palms.
His bed sheets were drenched in sweat, and there were fresh beads still dripping down his bare, scarlet arms and chest. The large, red blanket was dishevelled, having been chaotically pushed all the way down to his ankles. His mind felt hazy and his insides felt twisted and tight. His breathing was just beginning to return to normal.
The nightmare was so vivid… even more than the last one. He could still taste the acerbic vestiges of ash and sulphur on his tongue. He knew they weren't really there, but he could still feel their foul, lingering scents in his nose. It made him feel sick to his stomach…
Dukemon closed his eyes three quarters of the way, a little afraid to shut them fully. He tried to calm himself, his breathing beginning to return to normal and his heart rate evened out.
"Dukemon… Are you alright?" Grani asked him, a slight touch of concern to his tone.
Dukemon hesitated for a moment before letting out another sigh in an attempt to calm himself. "Yeah… I'm fine…" he finally spoke.
"Analysis: You look terrible… Were you having a another nightmare?" the Zero ARMS inquired.
"…Yeah…" Dukemon wearily confirmed, kneading his eyes and forehead with his fingers.
Grani frowned slightly, sensing that whatever it was had to have been pretty bad. "Inquiry: What was the subject of said nightmare?"
Dukemon stalled. He turned away, slinging his legs over the side of the bed so that his back to was Grani. "…I don't know," he lied. "I can't really remember."
He didn't want to tell him… He was ashamed… ashamed of what he did in his dream. More than that… he was scared. He was terrified that if he acknowledged the dream… put it into words… then it would somehow make it real. He felt bad for lying to Grani, but…
Dukemon's eyes tightened. The memories of yesterday came rushing back to him. Everything that Leviamon said… All of those thoughts and emotions that he had… They caused him to doubt. Was Leviamon telling him the truth when he said that Grani had kept things from him? He hadn't asked him yet… He didn't want to yet. He had been too tired. But now, his doubts and frustrations were surfacing again.
Grani stared at Dukemon's bare back uncertainly. He inspected his friend astutely as Dukemon's shoulder muscles slowly tightened and pulled together. "…You cannot remember?" he asked with hidden scepticism. "Not even so soon after waking?"
"No," Dukemon answered, a little forcefully.
Grani calmly watched him, internally debating the best course of action. "…Very well," he answered, letting the matter drop.
Grani didn't believe him. Dukemon could tell by the small pause before his reply. He was just humouring him… It made him remember what Leviamon said yesterday…
Grani didn't lie… but he wasn't telling him what he really thought. It was like he was worried about how he would react.
He always thought that the two of them could tell each other anything…
Dukemon grimaced and briskly stood to his feet.
Grani watched as Dukemon rose, the knight still facing away from him. "Final inquiry: …Are you sure you are alright, Dukemon?" he pressed one more time. Without meaning to, his question scratched at Dukemon's already frayed nerves, which were already stretched thin under the weight of the nightmare and all of Leviamon's spiteful words.
"I'm fine, Grani," Dukemon sharply retorted, his voice more harsh and forceful than he intended, but his feelings slipped out despite his words to the contrary.
Grani blinked calmly and remained quiet, slightly surprised but ultimately understanding.
After an awkward few seconds, Dukemon winced and looked over his shoulder, back at his friend. "…Really, I'm fine, Grani," he insisted conciliatorily, adding a put-on smile in the hopes that he would be a little more convincing.
Grani was silent, but he didn't attempt to refute or cross-examine Dukemon's response.
"…I need to go shower," Dukemon awkwardly stated, walking around the bed in order to get a towel and his clothing.
Grani watched quietly as Dukemon hastily gathered his body suit, towel, and undergarments in his arms. The knight seemed agitated, and wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, it appeared.
Then, right as Dukemon made for the bedroom door, he felt he had to speak up.
"…Dukemon," Grani spoke up, a light flutter of insistence to his name that made Dukemon stop in his tracks.
"…You are aware that you can always trust me," Grani stated definitely.
The words stopped Dukemon in the doorway, holding him at bay before he could leave. For a second, he looked down with guilt…
Then, Dukemon raised his head and looked over his shoulder, shooting Grani a half-smile.
"…Yeah…" he answered, weakly but with his sincerity breaching through like the dawn light through the windows. "…I know, Grani."
Grani nodded. "Affirmative," he confirmed. "I hope your shower freshens you up. We are leaving on campaign tomorrow, so we must prepare."
"Yeah… I'm sure I'll be fine," Dukemon agreed, a little lighter than before.
Dukemon looked back forwards and passed through the doorway, walking away from Grani and out into the dimly-lit, castle hallway. As he did, his sharp, yellow eyes trailed down to the ground.
"It was just a nightmare…"
An hour passed.
Dukemon had a long, relaxing shower. He stood underneath the warm, running water, trying to do his best to cleanse the nightmare from his mind. He was doing well to forget the dream, as so much of it was a blur. It was just those final moments that remained stuck in his mind…
He tried hard not to think about them. He tried to focus on the fact that they would be going back to the frontlines first thing tomorrow morning. However, as much as he tried to forget about the dream, Dukemon couldn't completely forget about Leviamon's insinuations yesterday. They stirred at the back of his mind, clinging like tentacles.
Dukemon attempted to shut down those lingering thoughts. He decided that he needed something to focus on, and his rumbling stomach was just the distraction that he needed.
After leaving the shower, Dukemon went to the cafeteria, where he ate breakfast with Magnamon. The two made some light small-talk while they ate, and quickly finished up their morning meals.
Dukemon walked away from the cafeteria alongside Magnamon. He glanced down at the shorter knight, who was clad in his golden armour, fresh back from repairs from the blacksmith and looking almost as good as new.
"So, Magnamon…" Dukemon began, attempting to fill some of the silence after they left the cafeteria. "Looks like we're setting out tomorrow… Are you back at one hundred percent?"
"Yes, more or less," Magnamon answered with a sheepish smile. "I've been working hard on recovering these past few days. Duskmon gave me the go-ahead yesterday."
Dukemon smiled genuinely. "Good. I'm glad you're doing better," he responded, relieved to hear that his friend was feeling better. "We're gonna need you in top condition on the battlefield. You're our pocket ace, after all."
"Heh, I don't know about that…" Magnamon answered humbly. He glanced up at Dukemon, rubbing the back of his neck. "There won't be any more reckless heroics from me… All I care about now is defeating the Demon Lords. I'll just have to leave the heroics to you from now on." Magnamon grinned and playfully winked at Dukemon to punctuate his words.
"Hey, I haven't done anything that reckless lately… at least, not since me and Dynasmon acted as decoys…" Dukemon murmured.
"Well, let's keep it that way. We know how that turned out for both of us," Magnamon advised. His expression deepened a little. "There won't be any room for mistakes like that… the Demon Lords aren't going to hold back. One wrong move, and we could end up dead…"
Dukemon turned his grimacing face away as an image from his dream intruded into his mind. He tried to put the golden blur that his dream self struck down out of his mind. The mere memory of it caused his stomach to churn nauseously.
"…Yeah…" Dukemon murmured, a faraway look in his eyes.
Magnamon blinked and then shuffled sheepishly, realising that he made things overly awkward and heavy. "Er, sorry, Dukemon… I didn't mean to be so negative. I just mean we need to be careful," he self-corrected.
"Oh, uh… It's fine, Magnamon," Dukemon responded, putting on a reassuring smile to conceal his thoughts. "I knew what you meant."
Magnamon nodded. Then, he looked forwards with a concerned frown. "…It's just… I'm a little worried that not everybody's mind is in the right place, going into this battle… I'm sure you know what I'm talking about…" the golden knight pointedly hinted.
Dukemon squirmed inside his armour. Was Magnamon talking about him? Did somebody say something to him? Or was he just that bad at hiding it?
"…I do?" Dukemon questioned, pretending not to know what he was talking about.
Magnamon arched an eyebrow at Dukemon's curious response. He wondered if he had it wrong.
"Um… Sleipmon," Magnamon clarified. "Haven't you noticed? Ever since Cherubimon was killed, he hasn't been himself."
"…Oh…" Dukemon awkwardly responded. He suddenly felt extremely guilty. He had been so wrapped up in himself that he hadn't even thought about Sleipmon lately. He had no idea how Sleipmon was doing… "Uh… yeah, I guess he has been pretty down."
"I completely understand why. Anybody would be after losing somebody close to them," Magnamon explained with a soft frown of sympathy on his face. "It's only that-… I don't know. He seems more than just sad, somehow… I'm worried about him…"
"Yeah… yeah," Dukemon said, sighing as he brought up his hand to rub his eyes, partially to cover the shame on his face. There he was feeling sorry for himself over some nightmares when his friend had lost someone dear to him. The guilt he felt began to turn to anger at himself for being so self-centered. "I should go see how he's doing…"
"I might be making it seem worse than it is. He's keeping busy at least," Magnamon backtracked slightly. "Still, I'm sure having another friend checking up on him wouldn't hurt. You're good at getting people to open up."
Dukemon smiled slightly. "I am?" he wondered, a little unconvinced.
"Sure you are. You make talking with you feel so easy," Magnamon encouraged him with a smile. "There was a reason you were the one who we got to babysit Leviamon."
The off-handed remark mentioning Leviamon immediately caused Dukemon's smile to fade and his shoulders to stiffen. The guilt and frustration that he felt persisted like a half-healed wound. "…And look at how that turned out," he murmured.
Magnamon blinked with confusion, a little surprised that Dukemon felt bad about it at all. "Hm? That wasn't your fault, Dukemon. We were given clear orders from Yggdrasil, so there was nothing we could do about it. You don't have any reason to feel bad," he assured him with a shrug. "Besides, Leviamon would have turned on us eventually."
"You think so…?"
"I'm sure of it. He didn't come to us out of the goodness of his heart; he came to us because he was desperate after he burnt bridges with the Demon Lords," Magnamon confidently explained. "He was probably hoping that we and the Demon Lords would weaken each other before making a power move."
"Yeah, I guess so…" Dukemon half-heartedly replied. He couldn't exactly argue Magnamon's beliefs after everything that Leviamon said to him. The Demon Lord basically confirmed to him that he had just been using Dukemon and the others all along.
The golden knight looked up at Dukemon curiously, noting his friend's downtrodden mood. "…It looked like Leviamon used you as his verbal punching bag yesterday… Are you okay? What did he say?"
"Nothing important," Dukemon dismissively answered, flicking his wrist in a sweeping motion. "It's basically as you said… Leviamon was just using us for his own ends…" His words lingered and the crimson knight glowered bitterly. "…I was an idiot to put any sort of trust in him."
"I'm sure he was convincing… but it's dangerous to let somebody like that get too close," he warned him. After a moment, Magnamon's brows furrowed behind his helmet. "Honestly, I'm glad that we don't have to deal with him anymore. You can't trust two-faced monsters like him…"
Dukemon stifled a cringe and self-consciously brought his hand up to rub the nape of his neck. Hearing the hardhearted words of even someone as tolerant as Magnamon caused a spike of a uneasiness to stab into his stomach. If he felt like that, then the rest of the Royal Knights must feel that way as well… Duftmon, Examon, and RhodoKnightmon did for sure. Even Alphamon likely shared that sense of distrust…
"…Yeah…" Dukemon responded with a melancholy to the admission. "I guess you can't."
"I just hope he doesn't cause any more problems for us. But I guess we'll have to deal with him eventually, one way or another," Magnamon offhandedly mused.
Dukemon continued staring at the floor as the pair reached the end of the hallway. He felt a distempered stirring inside of him. He was glad he just ate otherwise he felt he might have lost his appetite. Still, the food in his belly wasn't enough to save his deteriorating mood.
"Anyways…" Magnamon said stopping at the crossing hallway and turning to his friend. "What are you going to do now?" As he looked up, Magnamon arched his brow and tilted his head at Dukemon's downtrodden appearance. "…Dukemon? Are you okay?"
"Oh… Yeah…" Dukemon forced a smile and rubbed the back of his head. "I just had a rough sleep is all. I'm not myself this morning."
Dukemon turned away, looking down the corridor to the left. "I think I'll go look for Alphamon or Omegamon to see if they need help with anything for tomorrow."
"Oh, okay," Magnamon replied. "I haven't seen them this morning, but I'm sure they're around somewhere."
"Yeah… I'll talk to you later, Magna," Dukemon told him, giving the golden knight a small, tired smile before moving forwards.
"We'll catch up later," Magnamon agreed, turning away and moving in the opposite direction.
Once he was gone, Dukemon released a sigh and continued making his way down the stone corridor.
"Don't worry about it, Dukemon. He wasn't talking about you…" Dukemon tried to remind himself. "You're not like Leviamon. Not really…"
Dukemon took a deep, centering breath and strode forwards with steel in his eyes and fire in his step. His patience was wearing thin and he didn't want to waste time thinking about trivial things like Leviamon. He had to prepare for the battle tomorrow. He needed to be ready.
"Just put it out of your mind… You've got better things to worry about than some Demon Lord."
Dukemon's golden eyes sharpened like spear tips as he strode forwards with a brusque and defiant resolve.
"Focus, Dukemon. All that matters is your friends and the battle…"
"Nothing else."
Dukemon searched all over the castle.
First, he checked the offices, but couldn't find either Alphamon or Omegamon there. It struck him as odd, as he could usually find at least Alphamon in his office in the morning. However, Shutumon said that she hadn't seen either of them yet that day.
Dukemon then decided to check around the first floor of the castle again. He thought there was a chance that they were talking in the council room or, perhaps, speaking with MetallifeKuwagamon in the computer room. However, upon searching, he found they were nowhere to be seen in any of the usual places.
Next, he tried looking outside, thinking they may have gone out to speak with the guards. He scoured the castle grounds and the gardens for the black and white pair, but his luck was no better than before.
Starting to grow frustrated after having spent over half an hour searching, Dukemon decided that the last place he would check would be the castle basement. If they weren't there, he would just go about his day until they showed up.
Dukemon marched down one of the basement corridors. He briefly checked the medical ward to see if Alphamon was in there, but all he found was Duskmon running behavioral tests on their Troopmon prisoner.
Continuing down the hallway, Dukemon found Dorbickmon walking down the hallway towards him. The mercenary was grumbling about having to sleep overnight in the dungeons before he looked up to see Dukemon.
"Oh, it's you," Dorbickmon grumbled, cricking his stiff neck.
"Dorbickmon," Dukemon greeted, stopping in front of the mercenary and eyeing him somewhat standoffishly.
"The sleep was lovely, thanks for asking," Dorbickmon sarcastically stated. "Dunno why I had to sleep in a cramped dungeon when there're so many spare beds around here right now."
"Maybe it's because you're not a part of the Order," Dukemon briskly replied. "If Examon wouldn't let you sleep in his room, then that's between you and him."
While Dukemon didn't particularly harbour ill-feelings towards the dragon, in that moment, Dorbickmon was an easy Digimon to be impatient with, especially with the mood Dukemon was in. He wasn't entirely sure what the mercenary was doing there at the castle, particularly when they were so close to leaving for a very important campaign.
Dorbickmon grumbled. "He said his bed was only big enough for him and his wings, and he 'couldn't risk having an interruptive sleep on the eve of a campaign'. How is it that that jerk Grandis gets to sleep in a barracks and I have to sleep in the dungeon like a criminal?" he complained. "It should be the other way around!"
"You're allowed to leave the dungeon anytime, aren't you? We have Wizardmon in there too; it's just easier," Dukemon swiftly replied, not wanting to argue with him. "Anyways, you haven't seen Alphamon or Omegamon have you? Alphamon wasn't in there?"
"Nah, I haven't seem 'em," Dorbickmon replied. "Why don't you ask Examon? He's looking for you anyways."
At this, Dukemon tilted his head curiously. "He is?" he wondered. "What for?"
Dorbickmon shrugged and looked away furtively. "You'll have to ask him," he evasively replied. "He wanted to talk to you about something important, I think."
"Er… Alright?" Dukemon tentatively replied, frowning at the ominous words. "Do you know where he is?"
"Yeah, I think he went to the library. He said something about wanting to return a manual before leaving tomorrow. Didn't want to miss the due date or something," Dorbickmon said with a roll of his eyes.
"Okay, thanks," Dukemon said, walking past the mercenary and shifting his search into looking for the draconic Royal Knight.
Dukemon strode down the corridor, taking a right at the next corner. Upon turning, he continued making his way down the torch-lit hallway towards the library.
He felt a nervous feeling inside of him as he walked. What did Examon want to talk to him about? Whatever it was, it sounded serious, and even Dorbickmon seemed shifty about it.
Did it have something to do with what happened in the UDC? He remembered that the Four Great Dragons had asked Examon to speak with him in private for some reason. Could it be that Megidramon had taken the opportunity to tell Examon about whatever was or wasn't going on with the Digital Hazard? He wouldn't put it past Megidramon; the dragon would take any opportunity to mess with him…
Dukemon sighed and fidgeted with his collar as he approached the library. He tried to remind himself that there was no point in guessing. He would find out from Examon soon enough.
The Royal Knight stopped in front of the open doors to the library, turning to approach the entrance. However, right upon reaching the threshold, close enough to smell the musty aroma of paper inside, Dukemon came to a halt.
He saw Examon standing just on the other side of the doorway, filling out a form at the front desk. He watched as the dragon placed the charcoal pencil back in a bowl and placed his book return form into the proper pile.
At first, Examon didn't immediately notice him; he was too focused on his task.
Despite being the one who was looking for him, Dukemon didn't call out to him to catch his attention. He found himself hesitating… That slight pressure in the pit of his stomach caused his tongue to linger reticently at the bottom of his mouth.
It was only then, when Examon turned towards the exit, that their eyes met.
Examon's eyes widened ever-so-slightly, and he paused. For a few, uncertain seconds, there was an uneasy silence between them… The negative space filled the small gulf between them within the library threshold.
The empty beats of each wordless moment stretched out, each knight afraid to make the first move…
It was finally Examon, who parted his lips and breathed the first word.
"Uh, Dukemon," he awkwardly greeted, gazing over at the knight. He was so used to Dukemon taking command of their conversations that he had been waiting for him to start. "Hello."
"…Hey, Examon," Dukemon answered, with an uneasy, nervous smile. "I heard I might find you here."
"I was just returning a book before we leave," Examon explained. "Were… you looking for me?"
Dukemon frowned quizzically. "I was told you wanted to speak to me…" he tentatively explained, wondering if he misunderstood.
At this, Examon looked momentarily surprised. After a second, he reflexively averted his gaze. "Ah… You've been speaking to Dorbickmon…" he deduced.
Examon realised that there was no way he could avoid it now. He supposed he would just have to be honest like he told himself that he would. The only one who knew about his quandary apart from Dorbickmon was Alphamon… Alphamon, while understanding, hadn't seemed all that pleased about his lack of an answer. He was worried about how Dukemon would react… He felt like he was turning his back on his friends by even considering it. However, he had other priorities too…
Either way… Dukemon was important to him, and he wanted him to know. He felt he deserved to know what he was thinking.
"Yes… I do, actually," Examon confirmed, attempting to steel his nerves behind a portrayal of calm confidence. "I know you are probably busy, but do you have a few minutes?"
"Uh, yeah. I always have time for you, Examon," Dukemon agreed.
Despite his positive words, Dukemon found himself quietly regretting his response. His nerves were still frayed, and he was uneasy about whatever it was that Examon wanted to broach. The dragon was clearly nervous about it, and that made him nervous. However, there was a part of him that just wanted to get it over with.
Dukemon attempted to stand with his usual easygoing confidence, but he ended up just looking like he was trying too hard to appear cool.
"…So… what's up?" Dukemon asked, placing his hand on his hip and craning his head towards Examon from a side-facing pose.
Examon stared down at him, the intensity in his eyes increasing the longer he held his gaze. "…Dukemon, I have a confession to make…"
Dukemon's face balked with utter shock. "E-Examon… You do…?" he stammered, suddenly taking his words to mean something else.
Examon nodded, a soft frown forming on his scaly brows. "Yes… I've wanted to talk to you about it for awhile now, but I haven't been able to find the right words…" he explained, taking a step through the threshold.
The crimson knight began to self-consciously scratch at his cheek with a finger. "Examon… I had no idea…" he exclaimed, blinking with shock and embarrassment.
The large dragon released a heavy sigh. "…It… has to do with the Four Great Dragons…" he mechanically specified.
At this, the excess blood in Dukemon's cheeks began to drain away and he frowned at the dragon knight with growing confusion. He began to realise that he had completely gotten the wrong end of the stick…
"Er…" he paused, cocking his head with a scrutinizing squint. "…The Four Great Dragons?" he wondered.
Examon nodded. "I'm referring to the end of our meeting with them, when they asked me to stay behind to speak with them…" he clarified.
It was in that moment of context that Dukemon's uneasiness began to return.
His worries were right; it was about what happened in the UDC. When the Four Great Dragons asked Examon to stay behind, it always struck him as odd... What did they want to say to him without Craniamon and him present? He had always wanted to know what they had spoken about… He had always wanted to ask Examon, but he had been afraid to. He didn't want to seem too curious, yet he really wanted to know the answer. He had hoped that Examon would tell him on his own terms with time.
Yet, at the back of his mind, there was the re-emerging worry that Megidramon had used the opportunity to tell Examon about his dreams about the Digital Hazard. That was why he had been afraid to ask. He worried that Megidramon wanted to have his fun by sowing seeds of distrust.
"…Right. I remember that," Dukemon recalled, awkwardly rubbing the side of his neck.
"Thank you for covering for me, by the way. Although, you really didn't need to…" Examon added with a slight smile. "I promise that I was telling the truth when I told everyone that I wasn't aware of the Four Great Dragons' plans for Dark Point…"
Dukemon's hand slid off of his neck and he looked down a little."I know… I believe you, Examon," he assured him. "I know you wouldn't lie about something like that. It wasn't because I didn't believe you…"
Examon smiled sadly and he broke his gaze with Dukemon. "I know… Thank you… for believing in me." he responded, looking to the side to hide the guilt in his eyes. "…However, that's what I want to confess to you about…"
Examon released a sigh and forced himself to look back squarely on Dukemon.
"…There is something that I have been neglecting to tell you… all of you," he admitted. "I'd like to tell you everything now…"
These ominous words caused Dukemon's chest to twist and his brows to furrow with nervous suspicion. He looked up at Examon guardedly, the seeds of worry in his heart beginning to morph into ones of doubt.
"What are you talking about, Examon…?"
Examon met Dukemon's confused gaze with calm acceptance. The nervousness that accompanied his dithering was gone; he felt better now that he was resolute in telling him.
"When the Four Great Dragons asked to speak with me in private… it wasn't simply to catch up. There was something specific that they wanted to ask me…"
At the dragon's ominous prelude, Dukemon could feel his insides twisting into knots. Whatever it was, it sounded bad… What could Examon possibly be confessing to?
"…Oh?" he asked stiltedly, subconsciously folding his arms across his chest as his uneasiness intensified. "What is it?"
Examon drew another long breath before exhaling placidly. He stared at Dukemon's confused golden eyes with steadfast resolve.
"…The Four Great Dragons asked me to return to the UDC… to lead the Dramon Corps and become the Dragon Emperor again…"
Dukemon gazed at the taller dragon for a few stunned beat before releasing a cross between a sigh and a laugh of relief. "Oh, that's all? You had me worried there. I thought it was something serious," he remarked with a relieved grin.
Examon blinked and couldn't help but cock his brow. This wasn't the response that he was expecting. Had he underestimated Dukemon this whole time? He was taking it much better than he thought he would. "You're… not upset?" he tentatively asked.
"Me? No. I can understand why they would want you back, you're a hot commodity. I am a little miffed that Megidramon and them had the gall to try and swipe you under our noses, but it's understandable under the circumstances," Dukemon responded, smiling at the dragon.
Dukemon unfolded his arms, placing his hands on his hips. "That's got to be awkward for you, though," he mused. "How did they deal with it? It can't have been easy to turn down your old bosses… especially exalted Digimon like the Four Great Dragons. Did Megidramon fly into a temper?"
Examon blinked, and the relief that he felt was swept away like leaves in the breeze. It dawned on him that Dukemon wasn't being understanding… he had merely jumped to the wrong conclusion. This was all a big misunderstanding.
Examon cringed and he suddenly felt an extreme sinking feeling in his stomach. His job of telling Dukemon the truth just became that much more difficult. He went completely silent as he attempted to find the words required needed to explain to Dukemon that he had not, in fact, turned the offer down.
His lack of a response stretched out; he was bad at things like this. He felt he should just be honest, but Dukemon was his friend, so he also thought that he should be tactful…
Dukemon watched Examon's face and demeanour change. The wordless seconds dragged on without so much as a chuckle or a confirmation from Examon. Dukemon was a perceptive Digimon… he was typically good at picking up social cues. The lack of a response from his friend struck him immediately. With every prolonged second of Examon's silence, so too did each passing moment become increasingly revelatory for Dukemon.
The crimson knight's smile slowly vanished behind his visor as he came to the stunning realisation. Examon didn't need to say anything; the look of guilt on his face was enough.
"…You didn't turn them down… did you?" Dukemon weakly challenged as the truth dawned on him.
An automatic wince appeared on Examon's visage, but he attempted to suppress it to keep his face as stoic as possible.
"I… told them that I needed to think about it," Examon coolly admitted.
Dukemon grimaced as he felt a sharp stab of pain in his heart. He felt his insides twisting like a wet towel being wrung out. The thought that Examon was seriously considering quitting the Royal Knights… He didn't understand.
Why? How could he even be considering it? He had thought he was happy here. What changed? And how could he so easily turn his back on his friends? Didn't he care about them? After all of the support and friendship that Dukemon had given him, he could still consider it? What doubts could Examon possibly have? Was it because of him? Did he distrust him? Was he worried about the Digital Hazard?
As these thoughts whirled around his head, his confusion changed into feelings of hurt and abandonment. The pain arose from his wounded heart, already tender as it was from the events of late.
Dukemon instinctively tried to put up a front to hide the true pain that he was feeling, not wanting to appear weak and show how affected he was. He tried to summon a suit of armour around his heart, attempting to be as cool and aloof about it as Examon was. However, attempting to place a metal coat around a heart as powerful and raging as Dukemon's was like trying to put a lid over a violently boiling pot. As such, his attempt to harden himself only served to expedite his transition from sadness to anger.
Dukemon scoffed and folded his arms. "Oh, I see!" he briskly replied. "So, that's it, then. 'Thanks for everything and goodbye'?"
Examon blinked. "No, I haven't definitely decided that I'm leaving yet. I'm still just thinking about it," he firmly restated.
"Really," Dukemon cynically replied. "If that's true, then what are you telling me for? You wouldn't even be telling me this if you haven't already made the decision in your heart… Are you hoping for me to give you my blessing or something? Do you want me to ease your conscience so that you can fly off into the sunset without any regrets?"
"No, that's not it at all!" Examon insisted, ardently taking a step forwards.
"Then was is it?!" Dukemon demanded in a flash of frustration. "I don't know how you can even be considering it! I thought you were happy with us! We were doing great things together! Is that not enough for you anymore? Is it not what you were expecting? Did I do something wrong?"
The dragon knight frowned uneasily; Dukemon was taking this much worse than he expected. Maybe if he could explain…
"No, I-… It isn't that," Examon responded, attempting to find the right words. "When the Four Great Dragons asked me, they told me that I could lead the Dramon Corps…"
Dukemon's eyes widened for a moment before hardening into a look of bitter anger. "So that's it? They dangled a fancy, new position in front of you and that's all it takes to make you consider turning your back on your friends? I didn't know you were that opportunistic, Examon. When you joined us, I thought you were making a commitment."
"No, that isn't what I—" Examon grimaced with guilt and frustration. The more that he was pressed, the harder it was to find the words that he wanted to use. He felt that Dukemon was getting the wrong idea entirely.
"I was – I am committed. That's not what this is about at all. Don't misunderstand me, Dukemon. I take my oath very seriously. That's why this is so hard."
"It shouldn't be that hard. If you are as committed as you say you are, you wouldn't even be considering it... If you're not after the prestigious promotion, then what exactly is the problem? Is it us?" Dukemon questioned, eyeing the dragon with simmering embers in his words.
"No, it's not any of you… It's me," Examon responded, trying to temper the emotion in the voice and put on as calm a front as possible.
Dukemon scoffed at what felt like the empty platitude. "Right…"
Examon frowned, trying not to let himself become perturbed so that he could present his argument as calmly as possible. "Things have happened… I've changed. The UDC has changed… You were there, Dukemon. You saw what it was like. Ever since I left… society took a turn there. I'm worried they're changing for the worse. It's as if the Dramon are trying to prove something to the world. It feels like they're becoming more militaristic… They even went so far as to attack and capture Dark Point," Examon explained, looking steadily at Dukemon. "I'm worried about what might happen next… It's all because of me. At least if I can go back, I can stop it."
Dukemon turned away bitterly. "…That's a bit arrogant, isn't it? Thinking that you're the cause of everything…" he muttered cuttingly. "You think that everything's magically going to go back to normal just because you go back? There are forces bigger than just you, you know… I don't know what he told you, but Megidramon's using you, Examon. He just wants your strength so that you can be his pawn again. I'm sure the other Dragons want that too. You're blind if you think you that you can trust them. You're just going to be swept up into their designs without even realising it!"
Examon's expression hardened slightly at Dukemon's uncharacteristically accusatory words. He tried to put aside the stinging in his heart, knowing that Dukemon was sometimes prone to emotional outbursts. "…What? The Four Great Dragons wouldn't do that," he maintained. "Despite what you think, I know my own mind."
"Do you?" Dukemon accused him. "You couldn't decide if you wanted to join the Royal Knights, and now you can't decide if you want to quit. You seemed all too happy to join the Royal Knights when I first gave you the invitation, but then you wanted to quit again after the slightest setbacks. It took me having to convince you to stick around." Dukemon turned back to the dragon sharply. "Is this like that again? Are you hoping that I'll convince you to stay?"
"No," Examon briskly replied, his voice becoming like a cool breeze. His posture tightened up and he folded his arms, leering back at Dukemon adversarially.
"Then what is it?" Dukemon pressed harder, clenching his fists.
Dukemon stood opposite to him with a fiery glare. Examon was the opposite to Dukemon's simmering embers, himself becoming like a wall of ice. It was rare for the two friends to fight like this. The gulf between them felt wider than ever before.
"I know this is hard for you to understand, but the UDC is my home," Examon explained, his tone a little more stiff and standoffish than before.
Dukemon blinked with surprise and his frown returned. "…Oh, I see. I can't understand because the only home I have is with the Order. Is that it?" he answered defensively.
Examon's frigid frown tightened ever-so-slightly. "That… wasn't what I was trying to say, but… yes," he bluntly deliberated. "Maybe that's why you can't see why my loyalties are divided. You have only ever had loyalty to the Royal Knights. You have never had to choose one thing you care about over another."
Dukemon went silent for a few moments, the sudden hurt that he was feeling inside of him tempering the fires of his anger like a bucket of freezing water.
"…I see," Dukemon murmured, his tense shoulders slackening momentarily. He grimaced and tore his eyes away from Examon.
Examon watched Dukemon with guilt burgeoning inside of him. He wondered if he had been too harsh, but he felt he was only giving what he received. "Duke—"
"So, does anybody else know about this? Does Alphamon know?" Dukemon curtly interrupted.
"…Alphamon is the only one that I have told. He wants me to come to a decision as soon as possible," Examon answered with calm clarity.
"You've had since we left the UDC to decide…" the crimson knight rigidly reminded him.
"I admit, I've been procrastinating thinking about it," Examon responded, his eyes narrowing, "But we have also been busy. I have had to prioritize the war."
"Alright, so what's the plan, then?" Dukemon pressed. "If you do decide to return to the UDC? What are you going to do? Are you just going to leave us in the middle of our campaign?"
Examon frowned deeply, quietly hurt that Dukemon would think he would do such a thing. "…I wouldn't abandon you all on the eve of battle," he adamantly insisted. He was unable to help but remember the time he left the Royal Knights mid-mission to go to the rescue of the UDC. He had promised himself that he would never do that again.
Dukemon grimaced and turned away.
"…Maybe you should," Dukemon suggested with bitter reluctance.
The suggestion came as a total shock to Examon. He blinked and his tensed brows slackened. "What…?" he incredulously asked, never having thought that Dukemon would actually say that. Had he really hurt him that much?
Dukemon folded his arms, his features tight behind his mask. "…We're going into battle tomorrow," he explained. "What good will you be on the battlefield if your heart isn't in it? It's going to be life-and-death… good Digimon are probably going to die. If you're just going to be going through the motions… if you're not even going to be sure if you want to be there… then you're just going to be in the way." Dukemon closed his eyes tightly, as if to hide the reluctance behind his words.
"Dukemon…" Examon said in stunned shock. While he didn't disagree with his argument, he vehemently disagreed with the notion that he would give anything less than his all. "I would never fight half-heartedly."
Dukemon turned back to him with tight, accusatory eyes. "But you joined the Royal Knights half-heartedly, didn't you?"
Examon grimaced. "I… I didn't…" he weakly insisted.
Dukemon gazed at the dragon knight, swallowing his pain. He stood up straight and leered standoffishly, his eyes tempered of their rage and replaced by aloof disappointment.
"You and I had some real heart-to-hearts, Examon… One of the things that you said to me was that you wanted to change the world… not just the UDC. You said that that was why you became a Royal Knight," he remarked sadly. "…I guess I was wrong about you. I thought you had more determination, Examon… I didn't think that your resolve was so weak and fickle."
Examon's expression danced from surprise to guilt until finally igniting into anger. That last comment burrowed deep underneath Examon's scales and into his heart, causing his eyes to sharpen like spears.
"My resolve?" Examon questioned, his voice cold and his teeth clenched between syllables. "You want to question my resolve, Dukemon?"
Examon glared coolly straight into Dukemon's eyes. "Don't forget, you got me to agree to join the Royal Knights under false pretenses. You told me I could prioritize the safety of the UDC. Yet, even when I learned that you had lied and I had to protect everywhere equally, I still decided to stay," he explained in a pointed tone. He clenched his fist. "I stayed, even when less than half of the Royal Knights wanted me there. I had to put up with the snide comments, being looked down on for being a Dramon, and being completely out of my element. With some of the things I had to put up with, it was a miracle that I stuck with it, and don't try to tell me otherwise."
Examon took a firm step forwards. "It was my determination that kept me here despite the hardship, not anything that you did. I could have easily decided that I had had enough, but I didn't. I did all that precisely because I want to change the world for the better… So don't ever question my resolve."
Dukemon grimaced and looked down, chastened by Examon's retort. However, his sheepish expression didn't last, as his confused thoughts returned his frustration.
"Then… if you still feel that way, why would you leave?" Dukemon inquired. "The Royal Knights are the best way to do that. We need you, Examon!"
"I told you already; I turned my back on the Dramon and now they need me…" Examon simply explained. "They need me more than you do, I believe…"
Dukemon lowered his head, his eyes shadowed from Examon's view. "Then…
"…the real reason you want to leave doesn't have anything to do with the Dramon…" Dukemon suggested, raising his eyes to challenge the dragon. "The truth is that you feel guilty… and you resent that I got you to join the Royal Knights under false pretenses."
Examon was quiet as he met Dukemon's gaze.
"Admit it… you think this was all a big mistake."
Examon winced faintly, and his expression softened sadly as he reflected on his feelings in that moment.
"…Perhaps."
The single word was like a tiny spear to his heart.
"…I see," Dukemon mutedly replied.
Examon looked down guiltily. "Dukemon…" he hesitantly spoke. "When you told me about the Digital Hazard, I didn't judge you for one second… After we came back from the UDC, I wanted to tell you about what I was thinking… I was really hoping that, when I did, you would extend the same courtesy to me."
Dukemon's face fractured for a split second, the mere mention of that sore point exacerbating his already heightened emotions. "That isn't the same thing and you know it! I never once judged you for being a Dramon or for anything that you've done in your past! You're telling me that you want to leave, just like that! Like these last three years haven't meant anything to you!" he exclaimed, glaring at Examon with a hurt glare. "Well, if we mean so little to you after all this time, maybe you should go. I'm not going to beg you to stay like before…"
"Dukemon… I…" Examon began to respond, but then merely shook his head with exasperation.
The dragon stared at the knight with sad and tired eyes. "…Alright… Maybe I will…"
Dukemon blinked and his eyes widened. Despite his emotive words, he didn't really mean what he said… Yet, hearing the words coming from Examon's mouth… it suddenly felt real.
"Examon…" Dukemon spoke, opening his mouth to try to say something, but suddenly finding himself without a response.
"…This isn't getting us anywhere. I… think I had better go," Examon sadly responded. His eyes were tight and his words were punctuated with finality.
"I…" Dukemon stammered as the weight of everything that had he had said in the heat of the moment began to catch up with him. He had nothing he could say now.
"I promise I will see this next battle through, at the very least," Examon wearily explained. "I will see you when we set out tomorrow, Dukemon… I will do my best."
"Er… yeah…" Dukemon answered, grimacing as he folded his arms tighter.
Examon nodded at him softly and then turned around. The dragon knight wordlessly turned away and began making his way down the corridor.
As he watched him walk away, Dukemon's regret and doubt began to resurface. He took a step after him and desperately reached out towards Examon's back. After a second, though, his frustration resurfaced, and he stopped himself before he could call out to him. He regretted some of the things that he said, but he told himself he couldn't just go chasing after him.
Instead, he spun around and turned his back to the departing Examon. He stared straight ahead, down the hallway, telling himself that he wouldn't look back. However, after a few moments, he found himself already venturing a glance over his shoulder.
Dukemon looked behind him uncertainly, secretly hoping to still catch a glimpse of the dragon. He thought that maybe he should go after him. However, all that he could see of Examon were his wings and tail disappearing around a stone corner. The moment had passed…
Dukemon grimaced and sighed, looking forwards once again, focused on the empty stone corridor. His heart ached. He didn't want to fall out with Examon, but he couldn't help himself. He was hurt and angry…
He told himself that he would try and cool down. Maybe once he was feeling better, he could talk to Examon more calmly and apologise. Maybe… Perhaps he just needed some perspective…
It was then that Dukemon remembered what he was doing in the first place. He had been looking for Omegamon and Alphamon. Since Alphamon already knew about it, maybe he could get his opinion on what Examon was doing. He felt Omegamon should know too, if Alphamon hadn't told him already.
He just had to find them…
Dukemon frowned uncertainly and looked over his shoulder one more time, half-hoping to see Examon there, the other half worried what he might say if he did. He didn't want him to leave… but he felt as if he only pushed him away harder.
He knew he screwed up. He let his emotions get the better of him again. Maybe if he could talk to Alphamon and Omegamon, they could talk Examon around… They were better at these situations than he was…
Dukemon sighed and irately rubbed the back of his head.
There was nothing else he could do about it now. He just had to find Alphamon and Omegamon. He just wasn't sure where they would be…
With a heavy heart, Dukemon continued pressing forward. He still had yet to check the second floor, but he wasn't sure why they would be there. Still, it was worth a try…
As Dukemon headed for the stairs at the opposite end of the corridor, there was just one thought present in his mind…
"Examon… Damn it… I'm sorry."
Dukemon wandered the castle in search of Alphamon and Omegamon.
After leaving the basement level, Dukemon checked around the first floor just in case he had missed them. He asked a few of the guards on duty, but none of them had seen them.
He decided that he would check the second floor where the Knights' living quarters were. It was one of the few places that he hadn't checked. However, Omegamon and Alphamon were both early risers. Alphamon he could see maybe having stayed up too late working, but not Omegamon. Still, there could have been some other reason why they were there, and he had might as well cover every bit of ground before moving on to another location.
Dukemon strode up one of the wide, spiral staircases, his boots clattering against each, stone step. Upon reaching the threshold halfway up the stairway, the knight stepped out into the second level of the castle.
He walked out into the L-shaped corridor that contained most of the knights' living quarters. He could see that a few of the bedroom doors were closed, while some of the other doors were wide open. However, there were no immediate signs of any Royal Knights still in their rooms. He knew it would be a long shot.
Dukemon stepped into the stone hallway. With a heavy sigh, he leaned back against the wall behind him, not caring if it dirtied his cape.
It was still so early in the morning, yet he already felt so tired. After his nightmare and his fight with Examon, he was emotionally exhausted. Now he found himself scouring the castle for Alphamon and Omegamon with all that hanging over him. This wasn't how he had wanted the day before they set out on campaign to go…
Dukemon wasn't even sure why was so intent on finding them anymore. Maybe he felt as though they hadn't had a chance to talk lately.
There was a reason for that… Dukemon knew that he had been furtive with them since he came back from the UDC. He had been scared that they would find out he was hiding his nightmares about the Digital Hazard from them, or that Megidramon would somehow do something. He didn't like lying to them, so he had kept them at arm's length.
However, now… after that last nightmare and everything that happened with Leviamon… he really wanted to see them. Even if they didn't have the answers to his questions, Dukemon just really needed to see Omegamon right now… He felt like if he could, some of the weight encumbering his heart would ease. His stable presence always helped to ground him. Being able to be around him and his other friends who he trusted implicitly… He hoped – he really hoped – that that would put him at ease.
Still, he had just burned one of his friends with his heightened emotions…
Dukemon closed his eyes and exhaled through his nostrils, attempting to settle his distempered heart. He stood there in silence, trying to lose himself in the quiet.
However, he found that it wasn't completely silent. It was then that he noticed, faint, muffled voices coming from his right.
Dukemon looked down the length of the corridor. While the last door on the left-hand wall - Omegamon's bedroom door – was closed, the door at the end of the hallway – Alphamon's door – was ajar. That seemed to be where the distant voices were coming from.
The crimson knight stood up and began making his way down the corridor. He was careful to move slowly and quietly, not wanting to interrupt the voices before he was able to identify them.
Dukemon passed his own room, and began to move closer to Omegamon's room beside it. The closer he got to the end of the corridor, the more certain he was that the voices were coming from Alphamon's room…
He passed Omegamon's closed door, and sneakily stepped closer to Alphamon's. At that range, he was certain that he could identify the voice that was currently speaking. He recognised the deep, suave baritone of Alphamon's voice, but he wasn't quite close enough to make out his words past the nearly closed door. From his intonation, he could tell that Alphamon was speaking to someone with a serious and poignant manner.
Frowning curiously, Dukemon couldn't help but inch closer to the door. He didn't intend to eavesdrop, but he was curious… He just wanted to see who Alphamon was talking to.
Dukemon carefully reached the end of the hallway, standing in the blind spot of the door. Attempting not to make a sound, Dukemon leaned in so that he could peek through the crack between the door and the frame.
As he peered into Alphamon's bedroom, the first thing he noticed was the black knight himself. Alphamon was standing in front of his dishevelled bed, standing so that he was slightly turned away from the door. It was clear from his active body language that he was speaking to somebody.
"—and I understand what you mean, completely…" he was close enough to hear Alphamon say.
Dukemon inched a little closer, just enough that he could see who Alphamon was speaking to.
A familiar, white body came into view. Standing next to Alphamon was the pristine form of Omegamon, similarly positioned with his shoulder to the door, but turned towards Alphamon so that he could speak with him closely. As Dukemon set his eyes on Omegamon, an automatic wave of relief washed over him.
Dukemon's heart fluttered upon seeing the white knight, and the soft thrum of safety and affection began to push away the anxiety and guilt clouding his weary heart.
However, before he could even considering opening his mouth to speak, something struck Dukemon as unusual.
Something was off. Both of the Royal Knights wore concerned expressions on their faces. Not just concern… but guilt and worry – at least, that's what it seemed like to Dukemon from their side profiles.
Then, something else crossed Dukemon's mind. He wondered… what was Omegamon doing in Alphamon's bedroom? If they had something official that they needed to talk about, why would they do so here? Why wouldn't they speak in Alphamon's office instead?
Dukemon frowned with slight confusion, and that confusion grew as he watched Alphamon place his hand on Omegamon's arm. He watched Alphamon grip his black sleeve softly, gently thumbing his bicep.
The sense of relief in Dukemon's heart stalled, and a bud of unease began to form within him. Something strange was going on with them… Come to think of it, he had noticed that they had both been acting strangely recently. He could never quite place his finger on how or why, but something had struck him as off about his two best friends.
Dukemon, rather than announcing himself as he had intended, pulled back to further hide behind the door. He wanted to know what they were talking so closely and so seriously about… He began to not care that he was eavesdropping.
"That being said, Omegamon, this is what we agreed would be best. It is for his sake as much as anyone's…" Alphamon further replied, although with what sounded like uneasiness in his voice.
Omegamon bowed his head, his tensed eyes gazing down at Alphamon's collar. "I just hate lying to him…" he sighed with traces of regret.
Dukemon frowned with unease and confusion. 'Him'? Who was 'him'?
Were they talking about Ouryumon? Had Omegamon finally acted on his feelings? Was he witnessing something that he shouldn't?
No… Something wasn't quite right. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but Dukemon felt that they were talking about something else. The nagging worry he felt in his chest made him think that something more serious was going on.
Alphamon slid his hand up Omegamon's arm and gripped his shoulder, smiling at the white knight empathetically. "I know… I hate it too. It feels wrong to be dishonest with such a close friend of ours."
Dukemon's brows furrowed deeply. What were they being dishonest about? Who were they talking about? What could be so serious that they had to lie about it? These questions swirled around his mind like a gathering maelstrom. Dukemon recalled their previous interactions with him… Omegamon had been acting strange, and Alphamon had been almost acting too normal. It had almost seemed like they had been holding something back.
Were they… were they talking about him…?
The pang of worry in Dukemon's heart intensified. The hooks of paranoia burrowed into him, and they anchored him in place outside of the bedroom. Now he had to know… He wouldn't be able to think about anything else otherwise.
Omegamon sighed and nodded. "Yes… but I know it has to be done," he conceded. "I just don't know how long I can keep up the pretense for. I'm not very good at this; I feel guilty."
"I understand, Omegamon," Alphamon sympathetically replied. "It is not something that I want to keep from him forever. It is just the timing right now isn't right. I wouldn't want to tell him right on the eve of our final campaign against the Demon Lords… We need everybody to be focused now more than ever. After the threat of the Demon Lords is eliminated and things are peaceful… that would be the ideal time to sit him down and talk to him about it."
"Perhaps by then the danger will be gone altogether…" Omegamon hopefully suggested, although not without uncertainty on his face.
"What are they talking about?" Dukemon wondered, listening in with a worried frown. "Talk to who about what? They're—they're not really talking about me, are they?"
"And until then we will merely keep an eye on him. We can check up with him regularly to make sure he's alright," Alphamon suggested. "There is no need to worry too much at this stage."
"Perhaps…" Omegamon hesitated. He sighed. "I hope not, at least…"
A tense silence emerged between the two knights. Within that silence, Dukemon desperately tried to convince himself that they weren't talking about him. He didn't want to give into his worst instincts again. After all, they never actually said his name. But… who else could they be talking about? Who else would they be worried about? He couldn't help but assume they were talking about him…
It was Omegamon who broke the silence. "…Should we at least tell the others?" he wondered.
"No… I don't think that would be wise," Alphamon admitted with a repentant sigh. "I know that I said I would share my burdens with you all more… but, in these circumstances, I believe it is best for you and I to carry this burden on our own."
The black knight gazed regretfully at his white counterpart, who seemed like he had reservations. "Consider it this way: if we told all of the Royal Knights except for him, then it starts to feel less like we have his best interests in mind and more like there is a conspiracy against him. I don't want everyone else to start treating him differently, especially if there is no cause. It is also probable that he would pick up on it easier or one of the others might let it slip accidentally. It is a very delicate matter, after all…"
"Yes… Yes, you're right," Omegamon agreed, convincing himself of Alphamon's point. "It is better that you and I have control over when and how we broach the matter with Dukemon."
Dukemon's stomach plunged deep into his chest.
There it was. The word he had tried to convince himself he wouldn't hear… the word he had been dreading. Hearing Omegamon say his name cut into his heart like a knife.
With a single word, all of his fears and insecurities had been confirmed. He immediately knew what they were talking about.
Dukemon had wanted to believe that, no matter how different he was, his friends wouldn't judge him. When he had confessed everything about the Digital Hazard to them, he had let himself believe that they trusted him. He really believed their words… Yet, at the back of his mind, he wondered if they had just told him what he wanted to hear. Over the past few days, he wondered more and more… and now, it was all but confirmed. To Dukemon's mind, the horrible truth had just revealed itself to him, shattering any illusions that he might have had…
His closest friends didn't trust him.
Dukemon's face contorted into a pained grimace, but he forced himself to remain quiet. He wanted to turn and leave right then and there, but a morbid part of him wanted to stay and see what else they said. Despite how painful it was, he wanted to know why they felt this way. He wanted to know the truth of their feelings…
He dug his heels in and braced himself for the worst.
Inside the room, Omegamon sighed, glancing at Alphamon with a guilty grimace. "I feel like a hypocrite…" he admitted. "For all my talk about friendship… For all the grief I gave you for keeping a secret from us… Here I am, keeping something this important from one of my best friends."
Alphamon smiled wistfully. "I understand completely, Omegamon. I feel that way as well…" he sombrely stated. "I do not enjoy this… but I will carry this hypocrisy for his sake."
"My sake?" Dukemon incredulously thought as he shut his eyes tight. "How could this possibly be for my sake…?"
Omegamon's torn expression went unnoticed by the crimson knight hidden outside. "Yes, as will I… I know Dukemon. If we confronted him about it now, he would only dwell on it and likely do something reckless. We cannot risk that in the coming battles…" he agreed. "Normally, I would still be advocating for telling him honestly, but…" Omegamon trailed off, sounding unsure whether he should continue.
"Yes, Omegamon?" Alphamon wondered, sensing the white knight's hesitation.
"…Perhaps I am overthinking and worrying about nothing," Omegamon cautiously prefaced, almost as if he wanted to believe he was. "However… I cannot help but feel that Dukemon has been acting differently lately. Do you remember that outburst when we asked him about Megidramon before…? He grew very defensive at what was very innocuous questioning…"
"Hmm…" Alphamon considered pensively. "I cannot fully disagree… I do remember that too."
Omegamon sighed. "I've tried to write off my concerns, but… I worry that he is keeping something from us. Something important…" he uneasily suggested. "I don't want to suspect him, but… ever since we returned and Leviamon started idling around our castle, Dukemon has been acting strangely. He has seemed distracted and irritable."
"I agree… Do you think it has to do with the time he has been spending with Leviamon?" Alphamon wondered.
"Perhaps. Or maybe he is intuiting that you and I have been keeping things from him…" Omegamon winced. "…Or…"
Alphamon's expression darkened. "Or… you're worried that his change in mood might have something to do with what Yggdrasil told us…"
Dukemon's tightly closed eyes suddenly snapped open wide with shock. Despite the pain that he was feeling at hearing his friends suspecting him, Yggdrasil's name cut through it like the sharpest blade.
"Yggdrasil…? What does Lord Yggdrasil have to do with this…?" Dukemon wondered as his heart and stomach twisted in his chest.
"I don't know… I hope not with all my heart, Alphamon, but…"
Omegamon paused portentously.
"I'm worried…" he spoke, his fused voice fluctuating. "Lord Yggdrasil Itself said that the Digital Hazard was on the verge of activating. If even our Lord is telling us to watch Dukemon… what else are we supposed to do but believe It…?"
Dukemon's blood ran cold, as if the icy depths of Cocytus itself were running through his veins. He went as still as a statue. The dread was overwhelming. He forgot even to breathe.
Lord Yggdrasil… their god… had told Alphamon and Omegamon that the Digital Hazard might activate? It told them to watch him…?
The truth was even more horrible than he thought. His insecurities had led him to believe that they were talking about the Digital Hazard… but to actually hear them say it, with the awful knowledge that his god believed that it would activate was beyond even his darkest thoughts…
Dukemon's heart stung. His throat began to feel tight, suffocating. His hands trembled. He began to feel sick to his stomach.
It was as if everything he knew and believed in was coming crashing down around him. His best friends… his god… they didn't trust him.
"…I don't know, Omegamon. We haven't seen signs of that yet… We cannot assume just yet," Alphamon reasoned.
"No… And I want to believe that Dukemon trusts us enough that he would tell us if he started having problems with the Digital Hazard, but… what if he doesn't?"
"Trust them…?" Dukemon thought. His body was tight and shaking. "I thought I did, but… how can I? I was right not to tell them… How could I when they don't trust me…? I can't believe this is happening… Nothing makes sense anymore."
"…He would surely tell Grani, at least," Alphamon suggested. "Even if he doesn't feel like he can tell us, I'm certain of that much. Grani would know…"
"Do you think we should ask Grani?" Omegamon worriedly asked.
"No… I believe that Grani would tell us if he felt that he needed to," Alphamon cautiously responded. "It is best to keep calm and simply monitor the situation as we have been doing."
"Grani…?" Dukemon wondered, his mind a dark storm of fear, uncertainty and suspicion. "Does Grani know too? Has he been watching me as well…? Was Leviamon right about him too?"
"Yes, I suppose you're right, Alphamon… I'm shouldn't let myself become so worried the day before we leave," Omegamon responded with an embarrassed sigh.
"I understand your worries, Omegamon, but it will all be fine. Let us leave this conversation here," Alphamon encouraged him. "We should get back to the others before they start wondering where we've gotten to."
"Yes, I suppose so…"
Dukemon bitterly turned away. That was his cue. He had to leave before they came out. He didn't want them to know that he knew. He couldn't face it.
The crimson knight turned around, his vision a blur. Through his hard, stinging grimace, Dukemon looked around desperately. He wasn't sure if he could get out of the corridor before Alphamon and Omegamon saw him. He didn't even want to be around anybody right now… He didn't want them to see him like this.
His bleary gaze landed on the door to his bedroom to the left of Omegamon's. That was the only place he could go. It was his one sanctuary right now. He doubted that anybody would look for him there.
Dukemon began quietly moving away from the doorframe, holding his cape still and walking with feather-light steps. He was determined not to allow his friends to know he was there.
"Alphamon?" Omegamon spoke, his voice hitching with alarm. "The door is open…"
"What?" Alphamon exclaimed with slight worry. "Oh no… I was certain that I closed it. The latch must not have caught again. The old thing is finicky and needs replacing."
"Do you think anybody heard us?"
"I truly hope not. However, nobody is on this floor this late in the morning. I didn't hear anybody pass."
"I hope you're right…"
As the black and white knights came out, they were met with the empty corridor of the living quarters. The door to Dukemon's room was closed, and they passed by it none-the-wiser.
Inside, Dukemon leaned with his back against the door.
His head was tilted back against the hard wood. His eyes were shut tightly and his hands were balled up into trembling fists. As their footsteps faded, he released a shaky breath.
His heart felt like it had been carved in two with a rusty knife. He felt that everything he believed was wrong… Nothing made sense anymore.
His shimmering golden eyes opened a crack and he gazed into his room with a fractured gaze of sorrow and anger.
"How… How could this be happening? ...No…"
"…How could I be so stupid?"