(Author's Notes: Hey, all! It's been a while, hasn't it?
First of all, sorry for the exorbitantly long wait. There wasn't one huge reason or anything - it was more a series of small inconveniences happening spaced out over a few months. In July, I was busy with course work and there was a heatwave. In August, a relative was visiting and there were also a bunch of birthdays. I was busy the first couple weeks of September with other matters. All this is to say that the delay wasn't down to a lack of passion or anything on my part. Rest assured I'm very eager to keep writing and see this through to the end of the story. Luckily I've been able to pick up the pace these past few weeks and hopefully I can keep up the pace for the most part.
Another reason why the chapter took so long is, as you can see, this chapter ended up being a two-parter (i.e. it ended up being much longer than I originally intended.) I know I said there wouldn't be any more two-parters, but it was unavoidable in this case. I think this should actually be the last one, but things can always happen. We'll see! What ended up happening is that I decided to divide this chapter between the two related but separate plot threads, so we'll be seeing a different group in the second part.
Anyways, I'll post the second part either next Sunday or the Sunday after, depending on how long it takes me to finish the final scene.)
Chapter 88: Brotherhood (Part I)
It was morning.
The sun shone over the Royal Knights' temporary encampment that lay on the south bank of the Origin River.
The camp was bustling that morning. The Order and Saversburg militaries were packing up and getting ready to leave. After having suitably rested, the Royal Knights had given the order to finally head west at a full march. They were to meet up with Megidramon and the Dramon Corps ahead of their decisive assault on the Demon Lords.
Given the urgency and finality of the task, the decision was made to leave their baggage train behind for the sake of speed. It was going to be an all-or-nothing battle over a tactically-insignificant yet existentially-significant location, so Duftmon and Tactimon agreed that the risky decision was justified.
The order to march coincided with another development at camp that morning. Physicians, medical supplies, and transport arrived from New Terminal to help with the Order's wounded. This took some of the pressure off of the Order and their overstretched medical team in tending to the wounded. This allowed them to prepare to leave in good conscience.
The medical tents were busy. The physicians, nurses, and medical assistants had their hands full with the wounded. They moved quickly but effectively, delegating tasks and prioritizing those in most urgent need. It was so busy that they barely had a chance to stop since the medical reinforcements arrived a few hours ago.
"TigerVespamon, bring some of those fresh bandages over here."
TigerVespamon was no exception. He had been working since he woke up halfway through the night, helping High Physician Duskmon and the other assistants with the wounded. It came as a big relief when help from the Republic arrived to help them. Even then, his work still wasn't done. He had heard the order that they were moving out soon, but he wanted to do all he could here while he still could.
TigerVespamon carried an armful of clean, neatly folded bandages fresh from the crate that a Saberdramon carried in. He placed them down on a table and passed a bandage to Duskmon, who applied it to the missing arm of a Galgomon.
"Thank you," Duskmon responded as he securely applied the thick bandage to the bloody stump. His attention was mostly devoted to the patient, so he didn't look up at the hornet man. However, the eye on Duskmon's left shoulder turned to focus on TigerVespamon directly. "I apologize for keeping you occupied for so long. I realise that you should be preparing to leave with the Strike Forces. I won't keep you for too much longer now that reinforcements have arrived."
"No, it is alright, High Physician Duskmon," TigerVespamon insisted with a subtle bit of ardency beneath his calm tone. "I wanted to do this. I want to do whatever I can to help."
Duskmon's eye looked at him for a few moments before looking behind them. "Very well, but don't stay too much longer. It won't be long until they leave without you," he advised him. "For now, go and see if any of the physicians from New Terminal need anything."
"Yes, sir."
TigerVespamon backed away from Duskmon and the patient. He turned and looked around at the crowded tent. Many Digimon of the Order were laid out on beds and stretchers. Digimon of all shapes and sizes with various wounds. Missing limbs, burns, broken bones, concussions…
All of this… it was all down to the Orb of Yang.
TigerVespamon's hands slowly balled into tight fists. Bitter memories flashed through his mind.
Blitzmon and Bolgmon storming through his monastery. The other monks – his family – being killed by them. Lying there, unable to lift a finger to help as Blitzmon and Bolgmon forced Angemon to tell them where the Orb of Yang was. They blackmailed him with TigerVespamon's own life. They used Angemon's love for him to cause… all this.
The sickening twist of guilt swirling inside him was rivalled only by the unpleasant bubbling of anger. Each feeling vied for dominance, but in that moment, his guilt triumphed.
"If only I had been stronger… All of this could have been avoided…"
TigerVespamon turned away with a bitter grimace. He couldn't just stand by… He needed to do whatever he could to help. That was the only way…
"Excuse me," a voice addressed him from nearby.
TigerVespamon looked up. Standing a few meters away from him was a Stingmon in a white doctor's outfit with bloodstained surgical gloves over her hands.
"Can you please give me a hand with this patient? I need you to help me while I close up his wound," she asked him.
"Of course, Doctor," he responded, readily walking over to her.
Stingmon lead him over to a Knightmon who was unconscious on a bed. A white bandage, speckled with red splotches, tightly covered a gash on his left bicep from where a shard of his armour had torn into his skin from the explosion.
As TigerVespamon put on a pair of surgical gloves, he watched as Stingmon sat down beside the patient's left side, next a table that contained her surgical equipment and a packet of data.
"I assume you have sutured a wound before?" Stingmon asked him.
TigerVespamon nodded. "Yes. Several times," he responded. "I am familiar with the process."
"Good. Can you please remove the bandage and then pinch the wound while I apply the suture?" she asked him as she carefully threaded a sterilized needle.
TigerVespamon nodded and carefully untied the bandage while keeping pressure on the wound.
After threading the needle, Stingmon turned back to him. For a moment, she paused as she gazed at his face.
"I'm sorry, but…" she tentatively begun. "…do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar, but I'm pretty sure I don't know any Vespamon species Digimon…"
TigerVespamon looked up at her with surprise. He awkwardly hesitated. "Oh, um… You work at New Terminal Central Hospital, correct?" he offered. "Well… perhaps, after the siege…"
"Oh! That's it!" she excitedly exclaimed. "I remember now. You were there helping us after the Siege, weren't you? I remember you were helping Duskmon with the wounded – and you asked after that GrandisKuwagamon."
TigerVespamon's cheeks tinted a little and he looked down at the bandage, which he carefully removed to reveal the open gash. "Yes, that's right… We ran into each other there…"
"Pinch after I apply the data," Stingmon instructed him, leaning down so that she could begin carefully piping the data into the wound. "Thank you for that, by the way. This is the least we can do to return the favour after you all helped us so much."
TigerVespamon watched as the plasma-bound data oozed into the wound. "We certainly appreciate the help…"
"Alright. Now," she told him, placing the data tube aside and taking the threaded needle again. TigerVespamon pinched the wound, causing it to bleed more, but pushing the two sides close enough together to sew. As Stingmon bent down over the wound, she glanced at TigerVespamon out of the corner of her compound eye.
"…So…" she began, as she began sewing up the wound. "'TigerVespamon', isn't it? I hope you don't mind me asking, but… you're from the Royal Base, right? How did you end up with the Order of the Royal Knights?"
TigerVespamon's face fluctuated with discomfort before settling into a small, awkward smile. "Um… Actually…" he corrected with an air of beleaguered resignation concealed by politeness. "I am not a member of the Royal Base. I can understand why you would think so; my name and species give that impression, but I have never had any affiliation with them…"
Stingmon immediately winced at her faux pas, but she didn't pull her focus away from the wound she was suturing even for a moment. "Oh. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed…" she sheepishly apologized while continuing her work.
TigerVespamon smiled softly. "No, I understand… I hear that question a lot. It is rare to see a Vespamon who is not a member of the Royal Base, let alone a TigerVespamon… The truth of the matter is that I simply evolved this way, independently of the Royal Base. Sometimes I consider dropping the 'Tiger' prefix altogether, but that would simply cause more confusion…"
"That's no excuse. I should know better…" Stingmon responded with a sigh. "You shouldn't have to explain or worry about changing your name. Your name represents who you are. Your identity. You shouldn't have to deny your own identity just to accommodate other people…"
TigerVespamon pinched the bleeding wound tightly and securely so that Stingmon could continue to sew it back together. As he did, his small smile became somewhat wistful.
"And if that identity was false…?" he wondered.
Stingmon frowned, but continued working. "I'm sorry?" she asked.
TigerVespamon shook his head. "I'm sorry. It is nothing. Thank you, Doctor," he responded. "Is this tight enough?"
"Perfect," she confirmed, nearly half done. "So, TigerVespamon, where did you go to school?"
"To my embarrassment, I do not have a formal university education. All of my studies were completed monastically. I grew up living with monks of the Heavenly Choir…" TigerVespamon explained,
"Oh, I see. That's great!" she stated. "You must have shown a lot of potential for Duskmon to take you on as an assistant at the Order. Though, have you ever thought about going all the way and getting a doctorate? You're clearly very smart."
"Oh…" he reacted with surprise. "No, I'm afraid that would be impossible…"
"If it's the tuition cost that's the issue, you could apply for a patronage. That's what I did," Stingmon encouraged him. "How long have you been working for Duskmon? I'm sure that would be favourable on your application."
TigerVespamon looked down sheepishly. "Um… to be completely honest, I do not officially work for Duskmon. All I have really done is offer my services to him in my free time," he awkwardly explained. "My role in the Order is not as a physician; I am a soldier of the Strike Forces…"
Stingmon's initial reaction was that of surprise. Then, her enthusiasm diminished and she deflated somewhat. She threaded the end of the wound and bound it tightly, securely closing the remainder of the gash up.
"Oh… I see…" Stingmon replied, sounding a little disappointed.
TigerVespamon removed his hands and reached for the bottle of antiseptic while looking at her. "Does that disappoint you?" he wondered, perceiving the tone in her voice.
"I'm sorry," she replied, offering a small smile at him. "It's just… I saw you working with Duskmon earlier. You're a natural at this. It just feels like a waste…" She frowned. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business."
"It is alright," he assured her. "I do not mind discussing it… However, I do have my reasons for becoming a soldier."
TigerVespamon carefully sprayed the antiseptic on the wound before moving his hand. With care yet also firmness, he pressed the bandage to the mended gash.
"Please understand that I abhor violence. It goes against my teachings as well as my own heart," he explained. "However… I also know what it means to need to protect those that one cares about. One requires strength… Without strength, one is powerless to protect anything. Through discipline and training, I acquired that strength and became the TigerVespamon before you. I seek to use my power to protect the innocent from those that would harm them, whether those be the Demon Lords or anybody else. It is my responsibility as an Ultimate to do so. I do not use my power for my own sake - only in the defence of others."
"I understand that," Stingmon assured him as she tied the bandage. "And that's noble of you… However – and I'm sorry for saying this to you – but… I believe that our world has too many soldiers." After securing the bandage, she sat up and smiled sadly at him. "Protecting those we care about is all well and good, but, in the end, fighting each other only causes destruction. If everyone was a soldier – if we simply fought and killed one another like in the old times - how could we ever build anything?"
TigerVespamon looked down thoughtfully. "Yes, I suppose… Do you believe the world would be better if we were all healers and builders, Doctor?" he wondered.
"I think it would…" Stingmon smiled. "I'm not so naïve to think that we will ever free from violence… Would such a world be ideal to me? Of course it would…" she gently responded. "However, a world where I heal only illness and accidental injuries is a very long way away… Right now, I just believe that the ratio is off. I wish that there were more healers and diplomats. We have too many who would resort to violence without considering other alternatives."
"What if the foe that we are facing seeks only to destroy and conquer?" TigerVespamon contended. "Those evil Digimon such as the Seven Great Demon Lords… Should they be challenged with mere rebukes? Should they be negotiated with?"
"No, that isn't what I mean… I understand the need to protect ourselves from those who mean us harm. After all, they attacked the city I've come to call home, and many have suffered needlessly because of them… They should be stopped," Stingmon explained.
She looked down at the unconscious Knightmon she had been working on. "That said… violence begets more violence. When a Digimon kills another Digimon, it doesn't end just there. It's not just the physical wounds that violence leaves. It leaves invisible wounds as well… Grief. Resentment. Guilt. Hatred. These feelings can eat away at a Digimon as badly as any illness…"
TigerVespamon looked downwards at his lap. Resting between his legs, his gloved hands were caked with crusting blood. He delicately clasped his fingers together.
Deep inside of him, he acknowledged the dark niggling that he felt. That gentle simmer of anger that he tried not to think about. He couldn't get rid of it. He couldn't escape it. He couldn't bury it, no matter how hard he tried.
His clasped fingers tightened and squeezed together strongly. He bowed his head, concealing the bitter expression that threatened to appear on his face.
"Yes… Yes, it can," he softly agreed.
"To be free of all that pain and suffering…" Stingmon suggested, gazing down at the Knightmon beneath them. "Wouldn't a world of peace be ideal…?"
At this, a fond smile appeared on his face. He raised his head to look softly at her for but a moment before his smile waned. "I would like to believe in a world without violence..." he agreed wistfully. "But… these days, I feel that such notions are nothing more than a pleasant fantasy."
"Maybe you're right…" she agreed soberly. "Maybe violence is inevitable. Maybe it's in our nature as Digimon to fight each other, like some people think. But, if that's true, then that's all the more reason why physicians are necessary. To mend the wounds of those who do want to protect… to heal the innocent."
"Perhaps so…" TigerVespamon contemplated.
Stingmon looked over at him uncertainly. "I'm… not trying to be arrogant or judgemental when I say this. That's not what I'm trying to do. It's just… It's a very easy thing to destroy life. It's much harder to preserve it… and it's, in my biased opinion, a much more worthwhile thing to do."
TigerVespamon nodded softly. "…Yes, I do believe you are right about that…" he conceded.
Stingmon sighed. "But I also know that one can say that fighting to protect is one way to protect life…" she admitted. "And I'm not saying that that's wrong – it's just… when the fighting is over and all those Digimon are dead… what happens next? Then, is it finally time to heal and rebuild? Or will there always be one more enemy…?"
TigerVespamon looked down at his hands again. Carefully, he unclasped them and looked at his bloodstained palms.
"You are very wise, Doctor…"
Stingmon smiled and looked down sheepishly. "Not really… just opinionated…" she wryly answered. "And please, call me Stingmon."
"Stingmon," he tentatively said. "May I ask were you are from? You said that New Terminal is your new home, correct?"
"I'm from Glade Hollow. It's a town in Restart Forest, out in the Western Reaches," she explained with a smile. "I moved to the Republic to pursue medicine."
TigerVespamon stared at her, his calm expression giving way just slightly to a mixture of puzzlement and surprise. "Glade Hollow…?" he asked, his voice laced with nostalgia. "You are from there?"
Stingmon reacted with a surprised-yet-pleased tilt of her head. "Oh, you know it? That's a surprise; most Digimon don't a small town like that. I usually have to explain," she explained with a grin. "Where are you originally from, TigerVespamon?"
TigerVespamon hesitated for a few moments. He wasn't sure if he should say. He wasn't entirely sure what to say. Neither of his homes remained…
He looked down a little, but his mandibles opened as if to speak.
"Hey, TigerVespamon!" a loud voice called out to him from outside the field hospital. TigerVespamon turned and saw WarGreymon gruffly waving him over. "Get your butt over here, already! We're leaving soon! You gotta get ready!"
TigerVespamon waved before turning back to Stingmon with a guilty grimace. "…I'm sorry, Doctor, but I have to go now," he apologised.
Stingmon smiled understandingly. "I know…" she told him. "You have a job to do…"
"Thank you… "
"Also…" she began, "I want you to know… I do appreciate everything that you and the Royal Knights are doing right now. I can see firsthand how much you're all sacrificing for everyone. What I was saying before… I was just speaking in a general sense. I know how crucial it is that the Demon Lords are defeated. I hope you're all successful."
Stingmon approached him and placed her hand on his shoulder, looking into his eyes. "Just… please, be careful," she beseeched him. "Make sure you stay alive, okay? Please… We need more Digimon like you in this world…"
TigerVespamon stared back at her with surprise. At first, he didn't respond, and he simply looked down a little.
However, after a few moments of reflection, he finally nodded.
"I… will try. Thank you," he responded, turning and carefully taking off his blood-stained gloves. "Goodbye, Stingmon. Good luck."
"To you too," she told him.
TigerVespamon turned away and began walking away. However, after a few paces, he stopped.
Then, without turning around he spoke. He felt that he should tell her the truth…
"…I was from Restart Forest as well… but my hometown no longer exists there."
At first, Stingmon was silent as she absorbed his stunning revelation. Then, her compound eyes widened and her body slowly slackened with dawning shock.
"Wait…" she whispered, "do you mean…?"
TigerVespamon turned his head slightly to look at Stingmon, with gentle sadness in his red eyes.
"…I would love nothing more than a world where we all could live in peace again…" he softly stated.
And, with that, he began making his way out of the medical tent and towards the army encampment.
"TigerVespamon! Wait!" Stingmon called after him.
"Doctor Stingmon, we need your help over here," another of the physicians called out to her before she could go after him.
Stingmon looked towards the physician, and then back at TigerVespamon. However, he was already gone. With a troubled frown and many questions, she turned away. As much as she wanted to know more, she knew she had a job to do…
And so did he.
In another part of the camp, Paildramon walked through the ranks of the Aerial Strike Forces. Everybody was getting ready to leave.
She supervised the preparations of the Aerial Strike Forces. She made sure that everyone was packed up, but that they only took the bare necessities. Speed was essential. Anything superfluous needed to be left behind.
Paildramon made her way through their designated section, advising her subordinate soldiers and answering their questions if needed. She watched the Aerial Strike Force soldiers finish packing up and making sure their weapons were ready to go. She was confident that they would be ready by the designated departure time.
She looked back at the medical tent.
This was her responsibility now. She had to make sure that everything went to plan.
As Paildramon walked to the other side of the Aerial Strike Force's section, she heard a soft buzzing that was gradually becoming louder. The familiar buzz grew louder from behind her, and she soon knew the exactly who was creating it and why.
"Weeeell! Look at you!" a familiar, mocking voice teased her. "Seems like you've got everything under control here, Over-sergeant. My bad, I guess that's 'Acting Leftenant' now…"
Paildramon rolled her eyes with a small, resigned smile. She came to a stop and turned around to see GrandisKuwagamon landing behind her, observing her with an impish grin.
"GrandisKuwagamon," she greeted, placing a hand on her hip. "Cyberdramon let you off your leash, then?"
"Please. I don't need his permission," GrandisKuwagamon cockily asserted. "So, are the rumours true? You got yourself a nifty, new field promotion? That's a lucky turn of events for you. Hopefully it comes with a raise."
Paildramon shot him a look. "Stop it. I feel terrible about this," she swiftly rebuked him. "When Leftenant HippoGriffomon asked me to take over for him as leftenant while he recovers from his injuries, I couldn't exactly turn him down. The Aerial Strike Forces need leadership going into this decisive battle, and if HippoGriffomon physically can't do it, then it's my responsibility to step up in his place."
"Ohhh?" GrandisKuwagamon mused, a cynical grin resting on his face. "That's very noble of you."
Paildramon levelled him a flat stare. "I try my best. And if you think this is some calculated ploy to usurp his position, you can think again," she told him in no uncertain terms. She turned her head, looking away with a faint grimace. "After all, it's my fault he's laid up in the field hospital to begin with…"
The black-shelled mercenary cocked his head to the side curiously. "Huh? How the hell do you figure that, P?" he wondered.
Paildramon sighed. "…In that last battle… I hesitated. HippoGriffomon was hurt as a result."
"Hesitated? You? How?"
Paildramon glanced meaningfully in GrandisKuwagamon's direction. "I was supposed to evolve to Imperialdramon…"
GrandisKuwagamon frowned with sudden understanding. "…Oh," he replied. "You mean…"
"I was worried I would lose control…" she admitted. "I thought that if I tried to evolve in that battle, I might not be able to control Imperialdramon's power… and, well, you saw what happened last time…"
GrandisKuwagamon subconsciously rubbed his abdomen, where the new, healed chitin of his carapace was a slightly different colour compared to what was around it. "Yeah. I felt it too…" he wryly responded.
His soon grin faded. "…Seriously, though… Whatever happened with you and it in New Terminal… that was just a crazy exception, wasn't it? You said it was because of problems with your father and a misunderstanding with your brother, as well as the whole crazy situation of the Demon Lords attacking your home, right? I know shit is hitting the fan right now, but it's different than what happened in the siege, isn't it?"
Paildramon sighed. "Maybe… That's what I've been trying to tell myself," she responded. "But what if that last time degraded my control over Imperialdramon's power?"
"Then we'll be there to stop you before things get outta control again," GrandisKuwagamon assured her, folding his arms. "Not that we'll need to, cuz that won't happen."
"I almost killed you and VictoryGreymon last time that happened," she reminded him. "Can you be sure of that?"
"…Yeah, I can," he responded confidently. However, despite his self-assured words, he turned his head away slightly. "You're one of the strongest Digimon I know."
Paildramon frowned. "That strength is exactly the problem, though," she contended.
"I don't mean your raw power, P. I mean your inner strength," GrandisKuwagamon clarified. "You got to where you are because you defied your father and went into the military, right? You know what's important to you and you're not afraid to put your all into achieving what you want to achieve – protecting what you want to protect." He sheepishly rubbed his neck. "I, uh… respect that about you."
Paildramon blinked and looked at him with surprise. However, a small smile formed on her face. "…Thank you, Grandis," she responded.
GrandisKuwagamon tilted his head up and away. "Yeah, whatever… Don't tell anyone I said all that. I've got a reputation to protect," he insisted.
Paildramon grinned. "Yggdrasil forbid you be seen saying something nice," she teased him.
Her smile faded as she looked past him at the Aerial Strike Forces, as if trying to find someone in particular. Her gaze landed on TigerVespamon, who he saw walking towards where his and ShineGreymon's tent was.
"…Have you spoken to TigerVespamon lately?" she asked him.
GrandisKuwagamon looked over his shoulder, following her gaze. There, he spotted TigerVespamon as well. "…Uh, no. Not really," he replied guiltily. "We haven't really had the time… and honestly, I doubt he wants to talk to me. We haven't spoken since Shadow Retreat… I was actually gonna ask you: how's he been doing?"
"I see…" Paildramon mused. "I've spoken to him a few times, but haven't had the time to speak with him at length. He seems… much the same. Calm, focused… but with an air of sadness? Anger? I'm not sure… He isn't easy to read, but I can guess how he's feeling."
"Yeah, I figured as much…" GrandisKuwagamon muttered.
Paildramon could see the worry on GrandisKuwagamon's face. "…You should go have a talk with him."
GrandisKuwagamon frowned uncertainly. "…I dunno… He's probably still pissed at me…"
"We don't know what this battle will bring… The world is at stake, and it may be our last… You don't want to have any regrets, GrandisKuwagamon. If you have things you need to say to him, you should say it to him now," Paildramon advised him. "You have nothing to lose by trying."
GrandisKuwagamon sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Well, when you put it like that…" he grumbled. "…Do I have time?"
"We've got about half an hour. Maybe a little more," Paildramon encouraged him. "Just be honest about how you feel."
"Yeah, got it…" GrandisKuwagamon replied. "Got any other advice for me?"
Paildramon raised her eyebrow, but she soon became distracted by something behind GrandisKuwagamon. As she looked past him, a playful smile flashed onto her face. "Mm… Perhaps one piece of advice…"
"This oughta be good." GrandisKuwagamon folded his arms, though he soon became aware of what sounded like thudding. Thudding that sounded like it was getting louder and closer to him.
"…Look out behind you," Paildramon advised him, her smirk not leaving her face.
GrandisKuwagamon's body tensed up and his instincts began screaming at him to run. He knew he was in danger – but he was too late.
Before he could get away, a large pair of orange arms appeared on either side of them. Then, they closed around him, constricting around his chest and waist. Before he knew it, he felt his winged back impact a large mass of warmth.
"Grandis! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!" a warm, deep voice exclaimed affectionately.
"GAH! Geddoff me you overgrown lizard!" GrandisKuwagamon protested as he was pulled into a bear hug. He thrashed his legs as he was lifted off the ground with ease. "Victory…! Let go! Too… tight!"
VictoryGreymon wore a wide, innocent smile as he hugged the protesting bug. "Huh? …Oh! Sorry!" he replied, gently lowering GrandisKuwagamon back onto the ground and letting him go.
GrandisKuwagamon inhaled and staggered away from the large, friendly dragon man. "Vic… what'd I tell you about hugging me?"
"Um… not in front of people?" he attempted to remember.
"Oh, don't mind me…" Paildramon responded, looking at GrandisKuwagamon with a small grin.
"Not at all…" GrandisKuwagamon muttered, shooting him an annoyed look as he limbered out his back.
"You seem to be doing better now, VictoryGreymon," Paildramon observed. "Are you feeling better?"
VictoryGreymon smiled sadly and he sheepishly rubbed his neck. "…A little…" he responded. "I'm still a bit sad about… well… Knightmon and all of the good Digimon that we lost…" His forlorn, green eyes began to trail down, but then he straightened up and smiled a little bit wider, as if to force those thoughts away. "But I know that I can't afford to be sad right now! We have to keep moving forwards. For everyone's sakes!"
Paildramon nodded a little, looking at him thoughtfully. "Have you finished packing up?" she asked him.
VictoryGreymon straightened up and saluted. "Yes, ma'am!" he confirmed. "Sorry. I hope I didn't interrupt.'
"You didn't. We were just chatting," she assured him. "Stand easy."
VictoryGreymon relaxed and looked at GrandisKuwagamon. "Are you coming into battle too, Grandis?"
"I am, yeah. Can't afford not to at this point."
"I didn't think the Rooks took part in battles like we did."
"Not all of us do. Just the combat specialists," GrandisKuwagamon informed him. "And we aren't exactly gonna be on the front lines… we're acting as a special, irregular force. Critical strikes behind enemy lines – that sorta thing. If I've got a chance at Lucemon's head, I'm taking it."
VictoryGreymon frowned and closes his fists, bringing his hands up to his chest with worry. "Gee, that sounds dangerous…"
"No more dangerous than being on the front lines," GrandisKuwagamon responded with a confident grin.
"What would your targets actually be?" Paildramon wondered. "For all your bravado, you wouldn't really be facing up against one of the Demon Lords, would you? That wouldn't be a good plan. Even the Royal Knights have trouble with them."
GrandisKuwagamon scoffed. "Bravado? Hey, I went toe-to-toe with Three-eyes." Upon seeing Paildramon's doubtful expression, he continued. "…I did!" he insisted.
"Alright…"
"I believe you, Grandis," VictoryGreymon assured him with a supportive smile.
"Ugh… Anyways, no, we probably wouldn't be dealing with the Demon Lords themselves. We're just supposed to take out some of their high-level officers – sever the links between the head and the body," GrandisKuwagamon explained. "I hear only the Royal Knights will be fighting the Demon Lords, though who knows? Shit gets messy in combat."
"Hopefully all goes to plan this time…" Paildramon responded, sighing grimly as she recalled their last couple battles.
"Yeah…" VictoryGreymon agreed, his voice becoming a little bit more somber, a change from its usual buoyancy.
"…Oh, by the way, GrandisKuwagamon," Paildramon spoke up, looking at him directly. "I heard some information from Recon that I thought you should know about – if you hadn't heard already."
GrandisKuwagamon eyed her quizzically. "Yeah?"
"Well… I heard that Blitzmon and Bolgmon were spotted amongst the Demon Lords' camp..." Paildramon tentatively told him, cautiously watching his face for his response.
VictoryGreymon blinked. "Your friends…?" he asked, looking at GrandisKuwagamon with worry.
GrandisKuwagamon's eye widened momentarily. Then, he clenched his fists. "…What…?" he asked. "What the hell are they doing there…?"
"They were working for Bagramon, so it isn't too surprising," Paildramon mused.
"Why are they tagging along with their army though?" GrandisKuwagamon asked. "That's not how they operate. They wouldn't want to get involved in all that. Not Blitzmon, anyways…"
"I don't know anything more than that. I'm sorry," Paildramon apologized. "Only that Digimon matching their descriptions were seen there, along with a handful of companies from Kowloon. I figured it would be better if you knew ahead of time…"
GrandisKuwagamon grimaced. "…Yeah. Thanks for telling me," he responded.
"…What are you going to do?" VictoryGreymon asked him, his voice rising a little with concern. "If you see them on the battlefield, I mean… Are you going to be okay?"
"Yeah… I'll be fine," he insisted, his voice flat with bitter resignation. "I'll fight them if I have to… I'll kill them if I have to…"
VictoryGreymon frowned. "But… they're your friends, aren't they?" he asked him. "Maybe things have changed, but they were your friends once, weren't they? You don't really want to kill them, do you…?"
GrandisKuwagamon scowled. "What the hell choice do I have? If they're stupid enough to be there and if they won't listen, what the hell am I supposed to do?" he barked back. "It's the same thing with Dukemon, isn't it?"
"…You can try to talk to them…" VictoryGreymon gently urged him. "It's not too late. I don't think…"
"In the middle of a damn battle, Vic? Give me a break! It's stupid, reckless shit like that that'll get you killed," GrandisKuwagamon roughly told him. "You have to forget that way of thinking, VictoryGreymon, or else you're gonna end up dead."
Paildramon looked between the two of them as they debated. The soldier in her knew that GrandisKuwagamon had a point, but…
"Well…" she spoke up, despite herself. "I'm not necessarily saying that you should do what VictoryGreymon's saying… nor am I saying that Blitzmon and Bolgmon deserve a second chance…" Paildramon gazed at him meaningfully. "But you tried to reach out to me when I wouldn't listen to reason…"
GrandisKuwagamon paused for a moment. "…That didn't exactly end well for me, remember," he noted, giving her a dry look.
"But, Grandis…" VictoryGreymon tentatively spoke up as well. "If I didn't do those things, then I never would have gotten through to you… You wouldn't be standing beside us right now…"
GrandisKuwagamon's brow flattened as he gazed at VictoryGreymon's beseeching expression. He then looked at Paildramon, who was grinning at him, as if to say, 'he's got you there'.
"…Ugh…" he groaned. "…I'll see. I'm not promising anything."
VictoryGreymon's face brightened up.
"Only do what you can do, GrandisKuwagamon," Paildramon added.
"Yeah, I plan to," GrandisKuwagamon replied. He nodded behind him. "I should get back before Cyberdramon gets his armour in a twist."
"Yeah, I guess I should too. To the Strike Forces, I mean," VictoryGreymon agreed, looking at GrandisKuwagamon. "Oh, um, just one more thing, Grandis…"
"Huh? Yeah?"
VictoryGreymon went over to him and pull him into a big, warm hug, this time from the front. GrandisKuwagamon immediately tensed up and struggled for a second, but upon feeling VictoryGreymon's tight hold, he slackened and reluctantly accepted his fate with a sigh.
"…Be careful, okay, Grandis?" VictoryGreymon softly implored him, gently holding him close. "I know what I said, but don't put yourself in too much danger."
"Yeah, yeah. Now hurry up and get off me already," GrandisKuwagamon complained, lightly pushing away from him as soon as he felt his grip loosen. "Damn touchy-feely lizard."
VictoryGreymon smiled widely. "I'll watch your back, okay? I promise!"
GrandisKuwagamon scoffed and folded his arms. "Give me a break. I don't need your help," he insisted. "That's your problem, Vic. You always focus on other people when you should be focusing on yourself. You just keep an eye on your own ass, got that? Don't worry about anybody else."
"Well, I'm always going to look after the people important to me…" VictoryGreymon responded. He smiled warmly. "But I can see your point… Thanks, Grandis."
"Just trying to give you some advice to keep your dumb ass alive," GrandisKuwagamon told him with a taunting grin. "You're your own worst enemy. Trying to make peace with enemies, trying to block attacks for other Digimon… This is a serious battle, Vic. One slip up and you're dead. So don't go getting yourself killed, and don't try to save everybody like a wannabe hero."
VictoryGreymon rubbed the back of his neck. "I know… I'll be careful too."
Paildramon walked over to them, placing her hands on their shoulders. "Be careful, the both of you," she told them.
"Yeah… You too, P," GrandisKuwagamon responded, though it looked like he wanted to say more.
"Yeah. Same to you, Leftenant," VictoryGreymon responded. He formally saluted her. "I'll go to the muster point now."
GrandisKuwagamon watched as VictoryGreymon walked off. When he was gone, he looked back at Paildramon tentatively. "…Uh… hey, Paildramon…"
Paildramon observed him for a few seconds. Then, a small smile appeared on her masked face. "It can wait until later, GrandisKuwagamon," she told him. "We don't have a lot of time, and you need to go find your brother."
"Yeah… It wasn't anything important," he sheepishly said, looking away. "Guess I'll see you on the battlefield?"
Paildramon nodded. "On the same side, this time…" She looked at him meaningfully. "I'll see you after it's over. Stay alive until then."
GrandisKuwagamon flashed her a cocky grin and an informal half-salute. "'Til then," he coolly said.
With that, he turned away and began walking back into the camp. He still had someone he needed to talk to…
His brother.
TigerVespamon stood in front of the place where his and ShineGreymon's tent had been.
When he arrived there, he found that the tent had already been neatly packed up into a bundle. It had been placed next to TigerVespamon's pack.
TigerVespamon had already packed his things when he woke up early that morning. Not that he had much to pack… He had brought only the bare necessities: his weapons, rations, a first aid kit… Anything more was unnecessary, and he would be bringing even less into battle. He intended to only bring his Royal Meisters, which lay inactive and propped up against his pack, as well as one other thing…
In his hand, he gazed at a small, clear, crystal pendent that rested in the black palm of his hand. The sun shone upon it, causing the pristine surface to refract light brilliantly, making it shine like a miniscule star.
It was the star crystal that Angemon had given him.
As he held it in his hand, he could feel the crystal's warmth… Within it, he could feel the love with which Angemon had bestowed it to him.
TigerVespamon was deep in contemplation as he gazed at the crystal. He thought about what it was that he wanted. He thought about Angemon and the rest of his family, and what they would have wanted for him. He thought about the feelings that stirred within him on the eve of battle.
He was… confused. He didn't know what he wanted or what he should do. It was as if there was a battle within him
A soft, calming sigh escaped his mouth and he took the star crystal in his other hand.
"Hey, Vespa!" a familiar, affable voice called out to him. "There you are. I was looking for you. You're back just in time."
TigerVespamon turned around to see ShineGreymon waving and walking over to him while sporting his usual charming grin.
"Oh, ShineGreymon…" he greeted. He glanced at their packed tent, feeling a little bit guilty. "I apologise for not being here to help you pack up. Thank you for doing that."
"No worries, dude," ShineGreymon answered. "You were helping the wounded right? That's more important. Nothing I couldn't handle here on my own."
"Thank you," TigerVespamon responded. He raised the star crystal pendant up to place the necklace around his scarfed neck.
ShineGreymon noticed this and cocked his brow with surprise. "You're bringing that into battle?"
TigerVespamon stopped as the chain of the necklace hovered above the smooth, metallic chitin of the nape of his neck. "Yes, I was planning to," he answered, letting the chain settle against his scarf.
"Are you sure you want to, Vespa? Isn't it important to you?" ShineGreymon asked him, walking over. "I'm sure it'd be safe here. The camp guards will make sure nobody rummages through our stuff, if that's what you're worried about."
"Ah…" TigerVespamon looked down at the pendant, before tucking it underneath his scarf so that it rested above his thorax.
The hornet man then turned to ShineGreymon, looking at him with resigned serenity. "Yes, it is important to me. Very much so…" he affirmed.. "However, there would be no point in leaving it here. Its fate and my own are intertwined."
"…Huh? What do you mean?" the confused dragon man asked.
"What I mean is… if I fall in battle, then it will not matter what happens to it," TigerVespamon explained, his voice straightforward but carrying a hint of somberness with it.
He looked down and took the pendent in his hand. "If I am gone, there will nobody else to remember the love with which this gift was given. In that sense, it is valuable only to me, and me alone… Only I remain to carry on the will of Father Angemon and the others."
He looked at ShineGreymon with a sad but accepting smile. "…So, if I cease to exist, then the memories that came with this star crystal will cease to exist as well. All of those memories will be forgotten to time… We will be no more remembered than a single leaf that falls in autumn."
ShineGreymon grimaced at his cynical words. However, then, he abruptly stepped forwards and placed his hand on TigerVespamon's shoulder.
"Don't talk like that, Vespa…" he told him, his voice growing sharp with frustration. "Don't talk like it doesn't matter – like you don't matter! Because it's not true!"
ShineGreymon looked down, his blue eyes locking sharply with TigerVespamon's reds. "If you died, I'd remember you! You're my friend, man! So don't start acting like you're destined to die in this next battle or something!" he passionately explained. "If what you're saying about that pendant is true, then it's your responsibility to stay alive so that you can keep Angemon's and everyone's memory alive! Isn't that right?"
TigerVespamon looked at the slightly taller Digimon, his eyes widening with stunned shock. "I…"
"And it's not just me, either," ShineGreymon continued. He looked past TigerVespamon, gesturing with a nod to a black, scarab man who was walking through the camp towards them. "…As much as I don't like the guy for the stuff he's done… GrandisKuwagamon would miss you too. He's family… so he'd definitely miss you."
TigerVespamon frowned uneasily and turned, following his gaze towards GrandisKuwagamon. To his surprise and unsettlement, he saw his brother walking in their direction.
"TigerVespamon…" ShineGreymon spoke, gazing meaningfully at him. "Before, you told me you felt like you were falling…" His grip on the hornet's shoulder tightened."If that's true, then let us be the ones who catch you. You're not alone, even though it might feel like it. My friends were there for me when I was going through what you're going through… Let us be here for you too."
"I…" TigerVespamon looked back at him, willing himself to look back into his friend's eyes. "…Thank you, ShineGreymon… " he sincerely responded. "I… I think I know that. Thank you for reminding me…"
ShineGreymon's serious expression lightened up like the light dragon that he was. He flashed him his usual confident smile. "Heh…It's nothing. Just me being an awesome friend, like usual," he cockily asserted. However, then his smile levelled out, becoming more genuine and meaningful. "So… don't die, okay?"
"I won't…" TigerVespamon promised him. "I… will survive."
He gazed down at the pendent that rested below his scarf, a tender and loving expression on his face.
"…I will survive so that their sacrifices will not be in vain… I will survive so that all the love and wisdom with which they imparted to me will not be lost," TigerVespamon promised, his normally serene voice fluctuating with emotion.
"They took me in after I lost everything… and they gave me so much more than I could have ever expected. I owe it to them to live on… I want to live on… I want to pass on the same light to this world that they did… I want to feel the same love that they had in their hearts. I do not want to feel this anger anymore…"
ShineGreymon smiled warmly at his friend's sincere words. "I'm glad to hear you say that, Vespa… I'll help you however I can." He removed his hands from TigerVespamon's shoulders and glanced back at GrandisKuwagamon. "But right now… I think there's somebody else you should try talking to... We've got time… It might do you some good."
TigerVespamon drew a slightly hitched breath before exhaling calmly. "…Yes… I should, shouldn't I?" he agreed.
Composing himself and drawing in his inner strength, he turned around to face GrandisKuwagamon, who was approaching him.
GrandisKuwagamon walked over, attempting to appear cool and aloof, but having a subtle, nervous tension in his movements as he stopped in front of them. "Uh… Yo," he greeted. "…TigerVespamon."
ShineGreymon grinned and stepped away. "I'll just leave you two to it. I'd better make sure Victory's not forgetting anything," he excused himself before slyly zipping away.
TigerVespamon looked at GrandisKuwagamon uncertainly. He felt his defenses threatening to rise, but he forced himself to keep them at bay. As much as he felt standoffish and anxious about seeing him, he knew that he had to do this. He had to communicate with him… he had to open up this line of communication that he had been so reluctant to before. If he didn't do this now, he might not ever be able to change like he wanted to.
"…GrandisKuwagamon…" TigerVespamon greeted, a little cautious, but acceptingly.
"…Mind if we talk?" GrandisKuwagamon asked. His voice was stiff, but measured, as if walking a tight-rope with his tongue.
TigerVespamon was silent at first. Without intending to, he gave off a quietly icy aura. He was unsure of himself, but his attempt to keep his emotions under control made him come off as aloof.
However, as the awkward silence began to prolong, he released a conciliatory sigh. "…That… would be fine… I suppose," he peaceably replied, his shoulders slackening as he spoke.
GrandisKuwagamon released the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. "Alright… Uh… You're into religion, right?" he awkwardly asked.
TigerVespamon eyed him dryly. "Yes… I suppose I am."
"Then, uh… this is probably the only time I'll ever do this… and you're probably the closest thing to one of those priests as I'm ever gonna get…" he preambled. He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, nearly shuffling in his exoskeleton.
"So, uh… Will you hear my confession…?"
TigerVespamon gazed at his brother, the muscles under his compound eyes easing with stunned surprise. He saw the vulnerability and the tenderness in his red eye. He felt the sincerity in his voice. It struck through even the icy wall around his heart.
"…I will…"
"…No excuses. I'm just gonna tell you how it is," he explained. GrandisKuwagamon released a breath and lowered his hand to his side. "I've… done a lot of bad things."
"I've stolen… I've destroyed.. I've hurt Digimon… I've killed. In some cases, I've even made them suffer. I even sold out New Terminal to the Demon Lords to save my own ass…"
GrandisKuwagamon sighed and looked to the side just slightly. His voice was soft, and it was unclear if he felt guilty, ashamed, or simply resigned.
"…I'm not proud of what I've done. I could come up with all sorts of reasons for why I've done the things I've done. Maybe some are justified, maybe some are self-serving. I dunno… All I know is that I made those choices, and I can't change the choices that I made," he explained, looking back at TigerVespamon uncertainly.
"I dunno if anybody's keeping tabs. Maybe Anubismon is counting every sin I've made, and weighing them against the good things I've done. Maybe I'm due for some divine retribution. Who knows? All I know is that I've made some big mistakes… and I'm trying to do whatever I can to make up for them. Not because I'm trying to stay out of prison, but because I wanna try doing some good for once. A lot of people chose to believe in me when I didn't deserve their trust… I guess I don't wanna let them down again. I've screwed up too much for too many people already."
TigerVespamon observed GrandisKuwagamon with a deep, penetrating stare.
"…You have hurt a lot of Digimon, GrandisKuwagamon…" he critically explained, his smooth yet sharp voice sounding like a poised sword that would not give any quarter.
However, then he released a conciliatory sigh. "With that being said… you were right about one thing," he continued. "I was fortunate to have been saved by Father Angemon and the others… You were not… I do not know what it was like for you, having to grow up without Digimon who would be there to support you. I… would like to learn more about what you went through… I would like to try and understand…"
GrandisKuwagamon looked at him with surprise. "Are… you sure?"
TigerVespamon nodded. "Please…"
"Okay… I'll try to keep it brief…" GrandisKuwagamon began. "I think I mentioned this before… but after the attack, me, Blitzmon, and Bolgmon headed west to New Terminal. We thought we'd have a better chance of surviving there than heading back into the forest. We snuck onto a caravan headed for the city."
"You mentioned something to that effect, yes… However, you did not mention what happened to you once you arrived there. How did you survive?"
"We nearly didn't… When we arrived, it… wasn't what we expected. We thought… I don't know what we thought. That living in the big city would somehow be better or that someone might actually look out for us, I guess," GrandisKuwagamon explained with a shake of his head. "It wasn't like that… We were starving. We had to steal food from markets and street vendors just to survive. We slept in alleys. We begged for money… Sometimes we'd get the odd bit or two, but mostly Digimon didn't want anything to do with us… and the few ones who did usually had ulterior motives."
TigerVespamon frowned. "Such as…?"
GrandisKuwagamon gave him a look. "…One example… Me, Blitz, and Bolg eventually ended up in a gang that exploited kids like us. They forced us to steal for them and other stuff like that. We didn't have any choice. It was either that or starve to death… The guys in charge were real pieces of shit… They kept money from us and kicked us around any chance they could get… It wasn't until a stronger, rival gang led by Lamortmon came in took them out."
"Lamortmon?" TigerVespamon wondered.
He nodded. "Yeah… Lamortmon was the exception. When he took out those gang leaders, he freed us. He didn't think it was right, using kids for dodgy labour," GrandisKuwagamon responded. "But… that was the first time we had any real agency. We finally had the freedom to do something about our situation. So, we asked Lamortmon if we could join him. We wanted him to train us. We wanted to get strong, like he was."
"And… did he agree?"
The mercenary grinned nostalgically. "He was reluctant at first, but we kept following him around until he agreed… The old man could never really say no to us. He finally agreed and he trained us when he could. We were determined to become strong together… to forge our own future. That's how Black Pincer Company was born," GrandisKuwagamon explained. "Lamortmon was the only one who took a chance on us… Before him, everybody else… they'd look at us and see insect Digimon… virus type Digimon. They'd judge us immediately and automatically assume we were up to something illegal. It's not like we wanted to steal."
"No… I suppose not," TigerVespamon agreed, frowning softly as he listened.
"It bothered me at first… We were just trying to get by, but everybody treated us like we were gutter trash. I hated it," the black beetle explained. "After a few years, though? I didn't really care anymore… If you get kicked around long enough, you eventually get used to it… Maybe you even start to think they have a point." He shrugged cynically. "We were given a bad name for so long… I guess I didn't see why I shouldn't live up to society's expectations of us. What else could we do? There was no point trying to fight it. We just had to do whatever we could to get ahead… even if we had to sacrifice our morals to do so."
TigerVespamon looked down silently. There was a deep and pensive look on his face.
Then, GrandisKuwagamon sighed. "…Look, I'm not saying all this to make you feel bad about our sob story or something. I'm not trying to excuse myself either. The point I'm trying to make is that… where we ended up, this wasn't exactly the plan. When we were living on the streets, we realized that the only way we were going to survive was if we were strong. After the attack… we wanted to become stronger. And we also learned that nobody else was gonna help us, so we were gonna have to do it ourselves."
"And, there was one other thing…" GrandisKuwagamon mentioned. "We wanted revenge… We wanted to make that band of X-Antibody MetalTyrannomon pay for destroying our home."
TigerVespamon looked up at him with surprise. "What…?" he asked, astonished. "GrandisKuwagamon… You… Did you?"
"Yeah… We did," he admitted with a small, resigned smile. "After training with Lamortmon for a couple years, we were finally able to track them down…"
TigerVespamon stared at his brother. "…What did you do…?"
"…What do you think? We hunted them down…" GrandisKuwagamon said, turning his face away from his brother's watching eyes. "…We asked them why… and then we slaughtered them. We gave them what they deserved."
TigerVespamon swallowed. He had nothing to say. He felt as if the oxygen had been sucked out of his lungs.
He… had always wondered about them, though he tried not to. Angemon had taught him not to… But now, hearing this… He didn't know how to feel.
"We… didn't just kill them either. We absorbed their data - their X-antibodies… We needed to know they were dead…" GrandisKuwagamon explained, unable to look his brother in the eyes. "After all that… all those years of anger… we… I thought it would make us feel better. In reality…? It made me feel empty. Honestly, that was the point where everything changed… It was like we crossed a point of no return…"
TigerVespamon gazed at him, stunned. So many emotions were flowing through him. Part of him wanted to rebuke him, but he also couldn't even bring himself to.
GrandisKuwagamon braved a glance at TigerVespamon's face. Then, a cynical but accepting smile formed on his lips. "…I know what you're thinking… We killed those monsters, and then we absorbed their data… and then we became monsters ourselves."
"GrandisKuwagamon…" TigerVespamon responded with a soft wince.
"Maybe you wouldn't be wrong to think that… Maybe we did become monsters that day," he admitted. "I was disgusted with myself… Sharing the same X-antibody as that piece of shit… I tried to suppress it all I could." GrandisKuwagamon rubbed his chest thoughtfully. "Things changed that day - for all of us… Blitzmon became even more focused on our company. And Bolgmon… he had always been aggressive and reckless… but after that day, it felt like he got worse – a bit more unstable or something. Maybe it was the trauma of what we did or a by-product of the data absorption… I dunno. We didn't really think much of it at the time."
GrandisKuwagamon sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Anyways… That's all. You know everything else," he explained. "I just wanted to be completely honest… I'm sure you have a lot you want to say about it… Go ahead. I can take it."
"I see…" TigerVespamon released a long, steady breath. "That… must have been difficult for you…"
GrandisKuwagamon looked at the golden hornet with surprise. That wasn't the response that he was expecting. He had been expecting a rebuke or a tirade about what a bad Digimon he was… He hadn't been prepare for what sounded like… understanding?
After a few moments, GrandisKuwagamon grinned a little. "What was? Us picking a fight against the world? Nah…" he wryly stated.
"We just… didn't want to be pawns in someone else's game," he continued. "We wanted to have the strength to control our destinies. No, destiny ain't the right word… We wanted freedom. And we thought that, when we became Black Pincer Company, we finally had it… We didn't need to depend on anybody else. We didn't need to be defined by anybody else. If we were strong enough, nobody would care that we were virus types – nobody would care we were insects – or that we had X-Antibodies. Our abilities would define us. And, if we did that, maybe we could carve out a tiny piece of this shitty world for ourselves…" GrandisKuwagamon smiled with bitter irony. "At least, that's what we thought…"
TigerVespamon nodded a little bit, not replying, only thinking.
"But you wanna know the truth?" GrandisKuwagamon asked, folding his arms. "…The truth is that I'm proud that I'm a virus-type. I'm proud that I'm an insect. I'm proud of everything that I've overcome to get where I am today. Have I done things I'm ashamed of? Yeah… And I'm trying to make up for that. …But in the grand scope of things? I probably should have died a thousand times growing up, whether it was that night in Manu or on the streets of New Terminal… but I didn't. I didn't because I worked my ass off to survive. I became strong. And I've done a lot of things I should apologize for, but that ain't one of them…"
"I suppose you did overcome the odds stacked against you…" TigerVespamon admitted. "I cannot diminish that, even if I can question your methods for doing so."
GrandisKuwagamon looked at the golden insect across from him. His carapace was so clean compared to his. His hands were unblemished. Even the scarf he wore was clean despite everything.
"…But…" the black insect spoke, looking at his brother closely, "I guess you did the opposite."
"How so?" TigerVespamon wondered, arching his brow.
"Tell me if I'm wrong, but… it seems to me that, rather than be a bug and a virus type, you tried to cast all that aside to become an angel Virus Buster… You talk like an angel, you carry yourself like an angel, you believe in God…" GrandisKuwagamon explained, trying his very best not to sound judgemental when he said that.
However, despite his efforts, a sour expression formed on his face. "It was like… I embraced it, but you rejected it…" he bitterly explained. "When I saw that… saw what you were like now… it pissed me off. Maybe almost as much as how I pissed you off."
TigerVespamon frowned and looked down. "…Why does the way I am anger you?" he asked him.
"Because it felt you're rejecting the life we had with Mom and Dad. …Not just that… it felt like you're rejecting me," GrandisKuwagamon explained, some of his frustration showing through in his voice. "It felt like you were acting like you're better than me. Like being a virus type bug with an X-Antibody was something to be ashamed of. Like all those years of overcoming everything life threw at me to become the strongest I could be didn't count for shit! Like, because you were found by Angemon, you felt you had the license to look down at me."
TigerVespamon's eyes hardened into a bitter, conflicted wince. "…I am sorry that I made you feel that way…" he began, his normally soft voice sounding tensed. "I did not mean to imply that I was better than you…"
"…But be honest… that's what you thought, right?"
TigerVespamon looked away with shame. "…Perhaps…" he lowly admitted, though he took no pride in saying so.
"I believed that the path that I chose was the correct one… I wanted to be like Angemon and the others. I was an insect raised by angels of the Heavenly Choir. I… I wanted to belong. I wanted to embrace this new life that I made for myself. They made me feel that I did belong, even though, deep in my heart, I knew I could never truly be one of them. I could never join the Powers… I wouldn't have been accepted into the Sky Colonies… Officials from the colonies looked at me as a charity case that Angemon took pity on. However, that was not the truth…"
TigerVespamon grimaced. "Yet, even so… I could never truly escape my origins… Strangers who didn't know me would always ask… 'Why are you so far from the Royal Hive?' or 'You were allowed to quit?' I was never allowed to forget who I was or where I came from, even though I wanted to move on and create a new life for myself. I always ended up feeling like a fraud… as if I was merely putting on an act," TigerVespamon explained, clenching his fists.
"And then, when I finally thought that I had found my direction… you came back into my life again," TigerVespamon told him. "After the siege, when I learned who you were and what you had done… all of those feelings of inadequacy and fraudulence came rushing back. I looked at you and I was ashamed… You were everything that I was attempting to escape from: my past… my identity… what could have been. You brought my insecurities to light. You were a threat to the life that I had made for myself."
TigerVespamon's tightly tensed eyes glimmered. "And then… Blitzmon and Bolgmon appeared. And they destroyed that life that I jealously coveted. Whether directly or indirectly, they destroyed everyone I cared about… and to know that you had been friends with them…"
"I was… so angry," he continued, the clear surface of his voice rippling just slightly. "I still feel so much anger within me… Anger at them, anger at Murmuxmon, anger at you… anger at myself. I hate feeling this way… It goes against who I am and all that I have been taught… but I cannot help it."
"…Anybody would be angry in your boots. The fact you're holding it together at all is amazing…" GrandisKuwagamon murmured, eyeing his brother cautiously.
"I can hardly call this 'holding it together'," TigerVespamon retorted. Then, he looked away with shame. "…Even now. All of this ire within me… I am unable to take it out on anybody else, so I end up taking my fury out on you. I want to hate you, GrandisKuwagamon. It would make everything so much easier to hate you. Yet, you are my brother, and when I thought that I might lose you again… what was left of my heart nearly broke…"
GrandisKuwagamon looked down. "…If hating me is what you need to get you through the day… then you can hate me. Hell knows I deserve it… and if anybody has a right to hate me, I'd say you deserve to be right near the front of the line…" he gently assured him. "After all, if I hadn't made some of the choices I did, maybe Angemon and the others would still be alive."
TigerVespamon's face softened. "I do not want to hate you, GrandisKuwagamon… I am still finding it hard to forgive you… but I do not hate you. The truth is, I am hurting because I still love you."
A soft frown formed on the mercenary's face. "…What can I do?"
"I do not know… You have hurt a lot of people…"
"I know… I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness."
A pained look of uneasiness flashed onto TigerVespamon's face. "I do not even know if it is my place to forgive you… What I feel isn't simply self-righteous indignation at your actions, GrandisKuwagamon," he ardently explained. "I feel… frustration. I become frustrated because of the privileged upbringing that I have had. I find myself wondering why you and your friends chose the path that you did. I wonder why you couldn't have ended up more like myself. I end up wondering why you three reject basic morality for simple greed and expedience."
TigerVespamon's head bowed with shame. "And then I catch myself… or somebody else reminds me that your circumstances were far worse than mine. And then I feel guilty," he explained "Then, I wonder if I am a small-minded, vindictive Digimon for feeling the way that I do. After all, other Digimon are able to forgive you. Whether it was Father Angemon, or Jesmon, or VictoryGreymon… they were all able to forgive you. Digimon who you have hurt worse than me. When they can forgive you so easily, I end up wondering what is wrong with me. What is defective with my heart that makes me unable to forgive my own brother?"
He grimaced with frustration. "I end up feeling like I am lacking. I am supposed to be an acolyte of the light. How can I even pretend to be that when I cannot even follow the core tenet of forgiveness for my very own brother?" he asked, clenching his fists tightly. "When I think about that, I feel bad about myself… and then I feel angry for feeling bad about myself, and I end up blaming you even more. I… I do not want to feel this way anymore…"
TigerVespamon looked down, shame and sadness emerging on his face. "With his dying words, Father Angemon asked me not to hate you… and he asked me not to hate myself either," he explained. "It was hard for me to accept that for a little while… but now, I realise that he was right. That is why… That is why I want to try to move on with you."
GrandisKuwagamon saw the emotion on his brother's face. He sighed, accepting his anger. Then, he reached over, placing his hand on TigerVespamon's shoulder.
"…I said some pretty terrible things to you too, during that fight we had… I have a pretty vicious tongue, and I know how to hurt people with it," he explained. "That being said… I didn't mean the things I said. I don't want you to feel guilty that you grew up happy. Hell… I'm happy you didn't have to go through the things that we went through. I don't want you to ever feel guilty about that… I guess I was probably jealous, to be honest. Sorry."
TigerVespamon frowned and reached up, placing his hand on top of his brother's hand on his shoulder. At first, he was going to remove it, but then he decided against it, and allowed his hand to rest on top of his.
"You are not making this easy… Now I feel even more guilty," TigerVespamon dryly explained.
GrandisKuwagamon grinned. "Tough luck… Because you're my brother. And… I love you too."
TigerVespamon raised his head to look at his twin brother.
"I am unsure if I ever said this properly, but… I am so glad that you are alive, GrandisKuwagamon."
GrandisKuwagamon smiled warmly. "…Yeah, same…" he responded.
"…It's funny, huh?" the ebony scarab spoke, removing his hand from his shoulder. "We're twins, but we couldn't be more different…"
"I suppose not…" TigerVespamon considered. "Maybe that's why we clash so much."
"Heh…" GrandisKuwagamon chuckled. "You're like the white keys on the piano, and I'm like the black keys…"
"Major and minor scale," TigerVespamon mused with a small smile. "But when those keys are played together, they can make beautiful music…"
GrandisKuwagamon looked at the golden hornet. "…Think we can do that?" he wondered.
TigerVespamon thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. "I think we can…"
GrandisKuwagamon nodded. Then, his eye trailed down before a moment before looking back up at his brother's face.
"…I really am sorry about Angemon and the rest of the monks."
TigerVespamon felt the sincerity in his voice, and he nodded gently, tiredly. "…I know… I am sorry for the way that I made you feel as well."
GrandisKuwagamon let out an weary exhale and then stepped back. He felt drained as well from the emotional purge that they just experienced. Still, there was one more thing he had to know…
"So, uh…" he began awkwardly. "What are you going to do if you see Blitzmon and Bolgmon in battle?"
TigerVespamon looked at him, too tired to be anything but matter-of-fact. "You do not want me to kill them, do you?"
GrandisKuwagamon looked away to conceal his uneasy grimace. "…Honestly? …I don't know. I don't think I do… but I don't have any right to ask you not to."
TigerVespamon raised his head and looked up at the sky. "…I cannot forgive them… Yet, I know what Angemon would want me to do… and I know that I do not want to feel the way that I do any more," he responded, contemplating the bitter wrath that he still felt within him. "I… will see. If the situation arises, that is."
GrandisKuwagamon sighed, but nodded. "…Yeah…" he wearily agreed.
As TigerVespamon lowered his gaze from the sky, he caught sight of a familiar figure standing a little ways behind GrandisKuwagamon. A small smile formed on his mandibled face.
"I think there is someone else waiting to talk to you, brother…" he pointed out, nodding discreetly behind him.
GrandisKuwagamon turned around curiously.
Behind him, he saw Jesmon standing about ten meters away. The caped Royal Knight was standing awkwardly. He didn't want to approach and interrupt such a delicate and private conversation between the two brothers, but it was clear he was waiting for them to finish.
Upon seeing the two bug brothers look at him, Jesmon flinched and quickly looked away, not wanting to appear like he had been listening in.
GrandisKuwagamon grinned and decided he'd have a little fun. "Hey! Are you eavesdropping on us, kid?" he called over to him.
"What! N-No! Really! I was just waiting for you to finish!" Jesmon insisted, holding his hands up.
"GrandisKuwagamon," TigerVespamon lightly rebuked him, although still grinning slightly. "Remember your station."
"Oops. Sorry," GrandisKuwagamon teasingly replied. "That's Sir Kid now, isn't it?"
Jesmon sighed. "'Jesmon' is just fine thanks, Grandis…"
TigerVespamon looked between GrandisKuwagamon and Jesmon. "I will give you two some privacy…" he stated, reaching down and picking up his pack and Royal Meisters. He turned to leave. However, before he did, he looked back at GrandisKuwagamon.
"If we do not see each other before the battle…" he began, venturing a worried and uncertain glance. "…Promise me that you will be careful."
"Only if you promise to do the same," GrandisKuwagamon retorted with a confident grin.
TigerVespamon smiled a little and turned away. "I do not intend to die," he assured him.
With that, TigerVespamon walked towards Jesmon, formally saluting him and giving him an encouraging nod. Then, he passed by the Royal Knight and made his way towards ShineGreymon and the others.
Jesmon stood awkwardly, eyeing GrandisKuwagamon and wondering if he should speak. After hesitating for a couple seconds, he stepped forwards, offering him a small smile.
"So, uh… did you two get the chance to clear the air?" he wondered.
"Yeah, you could say that…" GrandisKuwagamon admitted, scratching the back of his head. "I think we both got a lot off our thoraxes."
Jesmon smiled wider. "I'm glad… I really am," he honestly told him. "After seeing you two fight before… I wasn't sure if you two would. I hoped you would… I would have tried to help if I weren't so busy."
"Heh… So, you're still just as sappy and meddlesome as a Royal Knight, huh?" GrandisKuwagamon razzed him. "So, what are you doing, consorting with the likes of me? Don't you have more important things you should be doing right now?"
"I, uh… I wanted to talk to you before we set out," Jesmon hesitantly explained. "I probably won't have another chance to talk to you before the battle, so…"
GrandisKuwagamon tilted his head curiously, but shrugged. "Uh, sure. I guess we have enough time. I can't get in trouble for being late if I'm talking to a Royal Knight, right?"
Jesmon chuckled a little. "I'm still a junior Royal Knight. I don't have that much authority yet," he responded.
"Heh… Hey, don't sell yourself short!" the former mercenary told him, still sporting a grin. "I mean, hell! To think, the punk who ran off on his own and got himself captured by some mercs went and got himself promoted to an actual Royal Knight!"
Jesmon glared at him flatly, folding his arms and huffing. "I don't think you're allowed to make fun of me anymore," he countered poutily.
GrandisKuwagamon chuckled. "I'm not? Well that sucks…"
However, his teasing grin then levelled out and a more restrained, but sincere smile appeared on his lips.
"…I'm serious though," he told him. "It was a hell of a whirlwind, but I know how much you worked your pointy ass off to get to where you are. You pretty much carried us in saving Shadow Retreat…"
GrandisKuwagamon rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "You even saved my ass too…" he admitted, averting his eye a little.
He shuffled a little in place, finding it hard to get the next words out. Meanwhile, Jesmon blinked with stunned surprise, shocked to hear any sort of commendation from GrandisKuwagamon. It took him totally off-guard.
"Uh…" GrandisKuwagamon spoke, forcing himself to look at the knight. "I dunno if I ever told you this, but… thanks. For that… and for believing in me."
Jesmon's eyes widened and he felt his cheeks beginning to heat up. Was… GrandisKuwagamon actually thanking him?
GrandisKuwagamon grinned and shrugged. "The truth is, I'm pretty damn impressed with you… You set a hell of a goal for yourself and… you actually pulled it off, despite what cynical bastards like me told you. I… respect that. You should feel proud, Jesmon."
Jesmon's face turned as a red as the cape around his neck. He looked down bashfully, shocked and taken off-guard by the mercenary's uncharacteristic praise.
"…Th-Thank you, Grandis…" he appreciatively mumbled. Despite the redness of his face, he felt a warm, fuzzy glow in his heart, and he couldn't help but smile at GrandisKuwagamon's words.
"Don't mention it… Seriously," GrandisKuwagamon insisted, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "So, what'd you want to talk to me about?"
Jesmon tensed and he stood up straighter, suddenly feeling even more self-conscious. "Uh, well, it's nothing big or anything!" he hastily stammered. "I just, uh… well…"
GrandisKuwagamon placed a hand on his hip and gave Jesmon a flat look. "Uh huh…? Come on, spit it out already. They're gonna leave without us at this rate."
Jesmon fidgeted with the collar of his cape. He wanted to pull his hood up over his head at this point. However, he finally looked back up at the scarab to speak.
"I just wanted to say…" he began to say. He paused, his tongue clinging to the roof of his mouth.
"…Good luck, GrandisKuwagamon," he said to him. He gazed into his eye with an earnest and sincere tenderness. "And… promise me you'll survive."
GrandisKuwagamon saw the passion with which Jesmon said that to him, and he accepted the feelings that he imparted. A small grin formed on his face. "…Is that an order?" he wryly asked.
Jesmon smiled a little. "No… because, knowing you, you'd probably go out of your way to disobey it," he responded with a bit of humour.
GrandisKuwagamon chuckled. "Heh. Ya got me," he glibly admitted.
"Seriously though... I'm not going anywhere," GrandisKuwagamon assured him. "I've got too much I still need to do. Things I gotta make up for. Stuff I gotta close the loop on. I've been a survivor all my life, so I'm not about to change the habit of a lifetime just because we're going up against some Demon Lords."
Jesmon sighed and smiled with relief. "Good… I'm going to hold you to that, alright?"
"Yeah, well, the same to you," GrandisKuwagamon retorted. "Don't go getting yourself killed before you become a 'real' Royal Knight."
"Hey! I am a real Royal Knight!" Jesmon complained.
"'Junior', didn't you say?" GrandisKuwagamon teased him. "Nobody's going to remember a Royal Knight who got himself killed before he finished orientation week. That'd be pretty embarrassing, to be honest. So make sure you keep that spiky butt of yours alive so all that hard work doesn't go to waste."
Jesmon huffed and folded his arms, though he knew that GrandisKuwagamon was looking out for him in his own way. "I plan to," he informed him.
"Glad to hear it," the insect Rook responded.
Jesmon smiled a bit. Despite his nerves, he was glad he was able to talk to GrandisKuwagamon before they left. He felt a little more at ease now.
"Hey, Jesmon!" a familiar voice called out from behind him.
Jesmon turned around and saw Dynasmon waving him over.
"Come on! We're heading out now!" Dynasmon called to him.
"I'm coming!" Jesmon called back to him. He turned back to GrandisKuwagamon. "I'd better go now."
GrandisKuwagamon looked behind him too. He saw Cyberdramon watching him, arms folded and tapping his foot impatiently. "Yeah, same. I can see Cyberdramon glaring daggers at me."
Jesmon nodded. "So… I guess I'll see you on the battlefield. …Be careful, okay?"
"Yeah, I will," GrandisKuwagamon responded. "Don't get distracted. Stay focused. The Demon Lords are tough."
"I'll make sure. See you then."
GrandisKuwagamon grinned and gave him a casual salute. "Later, Sir Jesmon."
As Jesmon saluted and turned away to join the other Royal Knights, GrandisKuwagamon began to walk towards Cyberdramon and the other Rooks.
While, GrandisKuwagamon walked, he glanced over at the Strike Forces. There, he saw TigerVespamon and VictoryGreymon standing side by side while Paildramon stood in front of them, addressing them and the rest of the Strike Forces.
He watched the three for a few seconds before turning forwards and looking ahead with a look of determination in his eye.
"Don't worry… I've got too much I want to protect to die now…"
His resolve held firm as he suppressed an uneasy grimace that threatened to appear on his face.
"You hear that, Blitzmon? Bolgmon? …I'll fight and kill whoever I have to make sure that I do…"