CHAPTER 6: PARENTAL PONDERINGS PART II

Later that night, when Lizzie and Matt were tucked into bed with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads, and Sam was engrossed in a televised sporting event, Jo McGuire speed-dialed her old friend Roberta Gordon. After the pleasantries, Jo led right into the matter with "So. Roberta. Is everything all right with Gor—with David these days?"

Roberta hesitated. "Well, now that you mention it, I think he might be going through a childhood identity crisis. His ego has been rather fragile lately."

Jo rolled her eyes. Roberta was always talking like a psychiatrist. "How so?" she asked, thinking perhaps they had arrived at the root of the problem.

"Well, from what I gather, there's this new boy in school, Barry Fudgeman or something, and though David won't admit it, I can tell that he feels terribly threatened."

"Why?" Jo asked with concern. "Is this kid a bully?"

"No! Not at all! But apparently he's exceptionally bright. David's always felt so secure in his intellectual achievements, but I believe the arrival of this new boy is shaking his confidence."

"Well then," Jo mused, almost to herself. "That might explain it."

"Might explain what?" Roberta asked.

"Why he would say something he wouldn't usually say."

"What do you mean?" Roberta asked. "What did he say? Was he mean or disrespectful to Lizzie?" Roberta loved her only son, but she was not about to tolerate unacceptable behavior.

"Well, I guess you could say that," Jo answered. "You see, apparently…apparently David told Lizzie that Santa Claus is not real."

Roberta gasped. "He didn't!"

"Yes, he did."

Roberta gasped again.

"And not only that," Jo went on, "but I think he might have said something about Santa Claus being a sex symbol…"

Roberta pondered. "Now why would he say that? That doesn't even make sense."

""I know!" Jo agreed. "I think Lizzie's words were that—that David said Santa Claus was not a Christian symbol, he was a sexual symbol."

Now Roberta laughed. "A sexual symbol! Oh my! That's hysterical!"

Taken aback, Jo said, rather stiffly, "I'm sorry, Roberta, but I don't exactly see the humor in—"

"No,no! My dear friend! Not sexual...Secular," she provided. "A secular symbol!"

"Oh!" Jo said, feeling silly that she had not figured this out for herself. "You mean...because he's not Jewish?"

"I mean because he's not Jewish, he's not Christian, he's not anything. He's just…commercial."

"Great!" Jo said. "Like we don't have enough of that during Christmas! Is that why you don't like Santa?"

"No, of course not! I have no problem with the commercialism. We all do it to some extent, don't we? Mostly I love the traditions, the food, the getting together with family. If a little commercialism seeps into that, so what?"

"Then is it…" Jo asked carefully, "is it because you're Jewish? Is that why you don't want your son to believe in Santa?"

"Not at all!" Roberta said. "Yes, it's true we're Jewish, and some Jewish families are adamant on this point, but you know us, we're not really that religious, are we? So it's not because we're Jewish, it's because we're realists. We don't want our child growing up with any false expectations about—"

Sensing a philosophical argument coming on, Jo averted it by suggesting, "Well then maybe it has something to do with this Fudge kid? Maybe if David's feeling insecure, when he lets loose this knowledge known by virtually no other children his age, perhaps he experiences a sense of superiority and power…"

"Yes!" Roberta exclaimed. "That must be it! What else could it be! Jo, you're so perceptive! Would you come into Practice with me?"

The two friends shared a brief laugh at the thought, then settled down with a mutual sigh.

"Well," Roberta announced. "If David's having personal issues, that's something Howard and I will help him get through. But as for this other problem, the imposition my son has made upon your chosen style of parenting, we will absolutely talk to him again about keeping the Santa Secret. But in the meantime, it appears there's some damage that has to be undone."

"Yes, I'd like to," Jo said, glad Roberta was always so diplomatic and easy to deal with. "Sam has put a patch on the wound for the moment, but I'm not sure how long it'll last. And once Lizzie finds out, poor little Matt won't be far behind. Someday they'll fight, like they always do, and Lizzie will get mad enough to blurt it out, just to get back at him. I think she'll feel terrible the moment she does, as I'm sure David did, the moment he told Lizzie. But once Matt gets an idea in his head, he won't let go of it as easily as Lizzie did. He'll find some way to use this information to his advantage! The little conniver! I'd like to put that off as long as possible. So yes! It would be wonderful if we could do something to 'undo the damage,' as you say...but what shall we do?"

Roberta thought a moment, then "Hey!" she exclaimed, seemingly out of nowhere, "Have you seen that Starbuck's has a peppermint mocha Frappuccino?"

"Oh yes! Sure! But what…what does that…?"

"Can you get away?" Roberta asked. "Can you leave Sam with the kids? Let's meet at Starbucks, shall we? Like we haven't done in far too long!"

"Oh, we haven't…" Jo agreed, lamenting how busy her life had become.

"So let's do it now!" Roberta suggested. "In about half an hour? If two smart gals like us put our heads together over a couple of peppermint mocha Frappuccinos, I'm sure we can easily solve half the world's problems in an evening, including how to restore your little girl's well-intentioned belief in Santa Claus."

"Absolutely!" Jo agreed. "A half hour? I'll be there. In fact, I'll be there with bells on!"