CHAPTER 12: GORDO DOESN'T KNOW EVERYTHING

"Yes, Santa," Jo took up. "Do you think Miranda would like to come over and play? Right now, I mean. And if her parents are new in the neighborhood, and aren't doing anything tonight, they would also be welcome to come over and join us. For some eggnog and cookies. I do apologize, I should have thought of it sooner, I've been meaning to stop over and say hello, but you know how it is during the holiday season, too many things on your mind, always so, so busy…"

"Ho! Ho!" Santa replied. "Yes, I know how it is. Mrs. Santa was saying the very same thing to me only the other day. But I'll—I'll stop back over at your new neighbor's house and extend the invitation before I, uh, set out on my sleigh—"

"Do you have your sleigh here?" Matt asked excitedly. "Are your reindeer here? I set up a feeding station for them in the backyard! Wanna see?" he asked, dragging Santa to his feet.

So Santa was compelled to take a short trip into the backyard, and Sam and Howard went with him and Matt, leaving only the ladies in the living room for a moment. And in that moment, Gordo finally decided to come back downstairs, and was relieved to discover that the Santa Claus charade was apparently over.

Or so he thought, until Lizzie ran to him, bouncing up and down before him, exclaiming, "Gordo! Gordo! Where have you been! Good, you're here! You haven't missed him!"

Gordo's heart sunk. "Missed who?" he asked, knowing full well what Lizzie was so excited about.

"Santa! You haven't missed him! He's still here! Matt took him into the backyard, but he'll be back in a minute, and then you can see him, and meet him, and tell him what you want for—"

"No thanks," Gordo said quietly. "I'll pass."

"Gordo! What's wrong with you? Why don't you—?" Lizzie stopped short, then remembered, "Oh, that's right. You don't believe in Santa, do you? You think you're so smart, don't you? Well, that just shows how much you know, you stupid Doody Head! Cos Santa Claus is real, and he's right here, he's at my house right now and—"

"Lizzie, YOU'RE the Doody Head!" Gordo exploded, unable to contain himself any longer. "It's NOT Santa Claus! It's my DAD. It's my dad, dressed up in a Santa Claus suit! Your mom and my mom made him do it because of what I said to you the other day, and I'm sorry, but you're NOT right, I'M right, and there is no Santa Claus and—"

"Your dad?" Lizzie asked quizzically. "Gordo, why would you say such a thing?"

"Cos it's true!"

"No, it's not!"

"Yes, it is!" Gordo insisted.

"No. It's NOT," Lizzie repeated, just as Santa walked back into the house. "Gordo, your dad is right here."

"Yeah!" Gordo agreed, pointing at Santa Claus at the far end of the room. "That's him! That's my dad! He's right there!"

"No," Lizzie said, turning to look as the group continued coming through the doorway. "There's Santa, and there's Matt…and there's my dad…and there's your dad. Right there!"

As Gordo observed the procession of people coming back into the house, all at once, for probably the first time in his young life, he was left speechless. Yes. There was Santa Claus. And there was his dad.

His dad was not Santa Claus.

He couldn't explain it.

And as Gordo stood in the hallway with his mouth hanging open, Santa approached him and bellowed, "Ho! Ho! Ho! And who is this little boy?"

Gordo stared up into the bearded bespectacled face and stuttered, "I…I…" This Santa was not his dad. This Santa was not even wearing the same suit Gordo had seen his father put on the kitchen table earlier this evening. The red was richer, the black belt wider.

Gordo felt his mother come to his side and put her arm around him. "Santa," she announced with a smile, " this is my son, David."

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Nice to meet you, David!"

"But…" Roberta added after overcoming a moment of hesitation, "I think you should know…his friends call him Gordo."

Here Santa laughed louder and longer than he had since he'd entered the house. His robust mirth nearly frightened Gordo to death. Was he about to receive some kind of punishment for not believing? But Santa only repeated "Gordo! Gordo!" as he rubbed his huge belly and then patted Gordo's skinny belly. "How in the world did you ever come up with a nickname like that, young man?"

But Gordo could only stutter, "I…I…"

"It's a long story," Roberta said. "One that Lizzie and David can tell little Miranda when they meet her."

"Yes! Yes!" Santa agreed. "Miranda! I'm sure she'll be delighted to know she will be having two new friends now, not just one! So! If you all don't mind, I suppose I should be going then. After all, I have a very busy night ahead of me!"

A few moments later Santa was gone, and everyone was talking all at once.

Howard came over to his wife and said "Roberta. The boy is going to be psychologically scarred by this confusing experience."

Roberta rolled her eyes and replied, "Oh shut up, Howard and have some more eggnog."

Jo was in a frenzy, exclaiming, "The new neighbors are coming over! The neighbor's wife is coming over! We have to clean this place up!"

Sam was back at the TV in the kitchen, yelling, "Touchdown, Broncos! Hey, Howard! Come and see this!"

Lizzie and Matt were bouncing around excitedly, still reeling from their visit with Santa as they helped their mother pick up the discarded wrapping paper from all over the living room floor.

Gordo, however, continued to stand open-mouthed in the hallway, trying to figure out what had just happened.