Heaven Knows Everyone Is Miserable Now
Chapter 2: The House On The Hill
Kagura and Shinpachi stood by the front door, backpacks fastened tight and weapons ready. Gintoki leaned against the wall frowning as they waited for the new addition to their party to come downstairs.
"What's he doing up there? We need to go." Kagura hissed impatiently.
"How should I know?" Gintoki replied.
"Do you really think it was a good idea to bring him with you?" Shinpachi wondered.
"What was I supposed to do? I didn't–"
"Gin-chan didn't think," Kagura snorted, some brashness in her tone "Typical."
"When you grow up maybe I'll explain it to you." Gintoki grunted offended.
"When you grow up maybe I'll let you!"
"Please not now, you two."
"She started it."
"No, he did!"
Soft footsteps down the wooden staircase put an end to their fight. Hijikata appeared renewed with a clean face and a change of clothes, wearing his worn police jacket over Gintoki's borrowed shirt.
"Looks like the real deal, doesn't he?" Gintoki said half cringing.
"Much better." Shinpachi nodded.
Hijikata seemed impervious to the compliments. His face had lost the haunted expression they had seen before and a firm coldness had replaced it, hardening his resolve.
"Do you have a car?" he asked.
"No, Gin-chan is useless. He can't hotwire them." Kagura answered flatly. Gintoki sent her an angry glare.
"Traitor."
"I'm just telling the truth."
"Doesn't matter. You go on ahead, I have to get back there." Hijikata said.
The room stood silent for a moment.
"You don't mean back to the disgusting gore fest I got you out of an hour ago?" Gintoki asked in disbelief. Hijikata's blue eyes didn't flinch. He was serious and Gintoki felt a surge of rage come up, "Don't be an idiot. We didn't save your sorry ass so you could go around being a moron. Car or no car we are getting out of here as soon as possible. Can't you hear them?" Gintoki paused so Hijikata could hear the wasted dragging their feet outside. Dozens of them. "This is the result of your little heroics with the gun by the way."
Hijikata didn't seem fazed. His expression remained unchanged. The blue of his eyes unnerved Gintoki beyond words.
"Are you even listening to me?"
"I am going back there, I have to." Hijikata declared.
"Hijikata-san, be reasonable. We barely have a chance to get away if we wait for the horde to cluster near the road. How would you even get there alive?" Shinpachi argued, unable to hide the troubled expression on his face.
Gintoki couldn't handle Shinpachi's bleeding heart. Kagura's mistrust of the stranger was one thing, Shinpachi concern for him was another altogether.
"Wrong question Shinpachi. We should be asking him why he wants to go back there and kill us all in the process." Gintoki cut in bitterly, already regretting saving the cop scum and giving him his only spare shirt.
"There's gear and ammo stashed in the trunks and I have to–" Hijikata faltered before uttering his next words, "I have to take care of the bodies."
Gintoki opened his mouth to protest but nothing civil seemed prone to come out. He searched Hijikata's face for any emotional cues but found only that cold immaculate mask Hijikata had put up to act his will.
"Are you stupid?" Kagura's derision broke the charged silence that permeated the room "Those people are dead, they're already gone. What's the point of burying them? Who cares about their bodies? Do you wanna be next?"
"Kagura-chan..." Shinpachi intervened and grabbed her by the shoulder.
Hijikata didn't break eye-contact with Gintoki as he answered Kagura's question.
"I don't expect you to understand and I'm not asking you to come with me. We each must do what we must."
He adjusted his gun-holster and walked towards the door. Gintoki didn't move, letting their shoulders brush past each other.
"Are you doing this out of some misplaced guilt?" he asked, "It's common, you know. We can't save everyone so we start piling all this unnecessary shit on our minds until we can't think straight," Hijikata halted to listen but kept his back turned, concealing his expression "If I knew you were out to get yourself killed I wouldn't have saved you in the first place."
"That's what I said." Kagura muttered.
Shinpachi elbowed her in the gut but it was too late to stop the callous remark.
Hijikata didn't reply. The front door closed quietly after him.
Burying Hijikata's companions might have proved impossible in theory, but leaving the man alone to his fate didn't sit as comfortably in anyone's conscience. The role of devil's advocate fell to Shinpachi whose deeper humane sensibilities prompted him to convince Gintoki and Kagura to help the former policeman fulfil his task, if only for the gear and weapons stashed in the ditched cars.
"Your aim might be crap but we can always count on you for brains, can't we, Pachi?"
Shinpachi gritted his teeth at Kagura's condescending support, smile waning. He knew better than to refuse her cheap support since it was a fact Gintoki couldn't go against Shinpachi and Kagura's shared wishes, though he submitted to them with every degree of reluctance.
"Do you think that guy will just share his stuff with us?" Gintoki asked, looking out the window at Hijikata's distant skulking figure. Kagura too inched closer to take a look.
"The highway is the other way," she said "Isn't he going the opposite direction?"
"If we just sit here waiting for him to get killed we will never know!" Shinpachi insisted.
Gintoki moved away from the window and took a deep breath before setting his eyes on Shinpachi, stare hard and uncompromising.
"It's your call."
"I'll take responsibility." Shinpachi said. He gripped the handle of his short blade and turned to Kagura who was eager to get moving.
"So what do we do? Any ideas?" her zest for adventure sealed the deal.
"Yeah, I got one." Gintoki replied, and they followed him out of the house.
They cleared a path to the nearby town, luring rotters away with rocks and any piece of garbage that resonated loud enough to distract their keen hungry senses. Under pretext of safety, Kagura bashed the brains of two roamers stuck in unfortunate circumstances; one under a fallen street lamp and another crushed between two cars.
The sounds of the undead horde moving away towards the highway crept behind their ears like eerie whispers. Shinpachi's head jerked incessantly as he looked over his shoulder to ensure there were no unwanted guests on their heel.
"Shouldn't we have gone after him, Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked, glancing around anxiously.
"Only if you want us all dead." Gintoki replied.
"I don't think he went back there." Kagura pointed out.
They had reached a residential area where half a dozen houses surrounded a small local park, destitute and overgrown with weeds. The barest outline of an old stone path appeared under the layer of dirt covering the ground.
Kagura climbed up the playground castle to survey the area around them. At the top she had a good view of the surrounding neighbourhood and the horizon stretched far enough that she could make out the horde gathering near the highway.
"Any dead ones nearby, Kagura-chan?"
"Most of them are pressing towards the road but there's two of them coming this way from that street on the left, can I get them?"
"Not yet, let them be for now," Gintoki said, claiming the only surviving swing seat, "We need to search these houses for some kind of fuel. A gas cylinder would be nice."
"What!?" Shinpachi blurted out, then, covering his mouth, he took a deep breath before continuing, "What do you mean? Gas cylin- Are we gonna... oh no." the idea presented itself horribly in his head.
"Yes, we're gonna have a big blow up. Right here." Gintoki nodded, pointing at the playground.
"Sounds like a party!" Kagura cheered.
"Sounds like the worst plan of all time!" Shinpachi rebuked, "How are we even gonna blow up gas cylinders? We let the only guy with a gun and good sense walk away!"
"Calm down Pachi-boy, you are making our friends excited."
Gintoki got up from the swing seat and reached for his fixed blade.
"Give me a hand, will ya?" he gestured towards the broken chains of the swing next to his and then to the rotting old man stumbling and growling towards them, "Hold this guy down for me, Shinpachi."
Shinpachi nodded silently and proceeded to throw the chain around the ankles of the rotter. Kagura came down the slider to get rid of the one following behind and, at the same time Shinpachi pulled back the chain in one swift move, Kagura's bat hit her target's head and Gintoki's boot met the back of his own target not two seconds before his blade found its skull.
"Fast work there." Gintoki applauded as the two decomposing bodies stumbled to the ground.
Shinpachi dropped the chain and nodded slightly stunned before resuming their conversation.
"But why here? Wouldn't it be easier to set fire to a house? I hate the idea but–"
"We don't know what is inside the houses. We could end up with a fire too big to handle and no time to escape from it."
"So what are we gonna blow up here? The trees?" Shinpachi's dull tone blared with sarcasm.
"That van doesn't look too bad." Kagura said pointing to an upturned van on the curb. The ground near it was dotted in small footsteps, most of them speckled in blood. Shinpachi's eyes narrowed at the sight and his stomach did a turn as his brain processed the picture.
"What are we supposed to do?" Shinpachi wondered, a strange emotion seeping in.
Gintoki answered nonchalant while he too beheld the van, eyes detaining a bit too long on the faded characters and puzzle pieces painted on the side.
"We want a loud bang, so best case scenario we drop the cylinder in there, light a fuel trail and run as fast as we can."
"OI GIN-SAN!"
"Tone it down Pachi or we ain't gonna need that explosion." Kagura chided.
"You and Kagura keep this area clear. See if the van still has some fuel left. I'll take care of the rest."
Shinpachi and Kagura nodded at once. They knew better than to waste time professing their worry over Gintoki's lone incursions. He always did what he wanted to anyway.
Blade at hand and ears pricked, Gintoki made his way through the first two houses without any luck. He escaped a couple of scares from pale wrinkly dwellers whose colourless eyes followed nothing but his nimble shadow as he slid in and out of quiet rooms, weighing every noise he made.
By the third house, he found a medium sized gas cylinder light enough for him to carry to the park. He was maneuvering it out of its safety bracket when a hand clamped over his mouth and he was pulled back against a solid torso. The shock sent his heart racing and he instantly reached for his blade. The words that came out of the assailant's mouth, however, were a refreshing variation to the customary drooling gnarls of rotters.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Hijikata hissed.
"As incredible as it sounds, I'm saving your ass," Gintoki doled out, "Again."
"I find that hard to believe," Hijikata replied, voice low against his ear, "I can feel your knife digging in."
Gintoki had pulled out his fixed blade in reflex and very nearly jabbed it into Hijikata's lower abdomen.
"What can I say, you caught me by surprise."
He sheathed it back and Hijikata let him go. Breath haggard, they faced each other in silence until both had had enough of the other's flaming gaze boring into their own.
"What are you doing? I told you you didn't have to come. Where are the kids?"
Gintoki snorted at the drab compassion.
"They're the reason I'm here. I couldn't care less about your suicidal tendencies."
Hijikata frowned, teeth set. He took the comment like a hit and his response came late.
"I'm not– "
"Look, I don't care," Gintoki cut him short, out of patience, forcing himself not to look down at the ring on Hijikata's finger, understanding too well how it was reason enough for Hijikata's reckless behavior, "They've decided to help you get to those cars so we're doing it."
"And you let them decide?" Hijikata asked him, a hint of bitterness in his voice "How irresponsible are you? Letting a pair of kids make these decisions for you?"
Whatever semblance of pity Gintoki had for the prime sample of human misery in front of him disappeared in a flash. For a second he thought about resuming the bit where his knife had all but started to graze Hijikata's skin.
"I see now why your people left you for dead," the words tasted like venom in Gintoki's tongue, but he dealt them without missing a beat, sheer anger steering him. The images of Kagura and Shinpachi's sleeping faces held him steady, "You're not very trusting, are you, Hijikata-kun? Trust is not really your thing, I get that. But it doesn't mean it has to be like that for everybody else. The rest of us are fine with showing some actual human emotion."
"You don't know a thing about me." Hijikata replied. He kept his tone level but Gintoki could feel the cold impartial mask quivering.
"I don't know if you've had the time to take a look at the fucking world, but it is ended. Pretty much done for. Those kids want to help you, hell, Shinpachi even made a whole speech about the morals of saving you, though I'll be honest Kagura only agreed to come after he mentioned the possible valuables stashed in those cars, but still, that's gotta count for something."
Hijikata didn't budge. His lips formed a thin line.
"It has to," Gintoki urged, and as he said it, he took a step towards Hijikata, "Because I helped you and you threw that help away. Only over my dead body will you do that to them too."
He had bridged the distance between them in a matter of seconds. Hijikata was close enough now that Gintoki could perceive all the gaps in his tough guy facade, yet something in his eyes that should be flickering remained bleak and stony, impregnable. The look of someone who knows they are broken. Gintoki's heart wrenched.
"Is this how you protect them?"
It wasn't the question Gintoki expected. But he answered it nonetheless.
"It's how we protect each other."
The explosion could be seen for miles. Clouds of pitch black smoke rose from a fury of bright red flames leaping at the sky. The initial burst had torched the sparse playground weeds to dust, baked the structures to charcoal and lit the surrounding trees on fire; a flaming inferno that called every nearby rotter to their roast. The horde that had gathered at the highway roused by the shots of Hijikata's gun had grown three times its size on its way to the burning playground.
Kagura looked on from the highway in boastful awe, chest rising and falling with drawn breath.
"That's a real barbecue!"
"Please Kagura-chan, don't call it that. Those are people." Shinpachi admonished her with a sigh. The muscles on his legs throbbed from the hasty climb up the slope to the highway.
Gintoki and Hijikata approached the car where Harada's headless body still sat at the wheel. It was indiscernible, a red mass of putrid flesh held together by the little clothing it had left.
Gintoki fought a gag reflex and looked away.
"'Bet you're glad coming back to this," he said half in jest, half with nausea, "Whatever there is in these trunks better be worth it."
Gintoki waited for a comeback but it didn't come. Instead he got to watch as Hijikata yanked away the dead crawler clinging to Harada's corpse and reached his arm inside to get the keys off the ignition.
"There's ammo, guns and medicine on the trunk. Take whatever you need. I'll get the other one."
He threw Gintoki the keys and walked off to the other car. Gintoki caught the keys at the last second and almost dropped them on the ground.
"Jerk."
When they were done packing up, mostly water, grub and ammo, the wind picked up and brought a thick cloud of smoke their way. With visibility lowered and the smell of burnt flesh and butane gas clogging their lungs, the prospects of remaining in the highway for long plummeted to zero.
"Shinpachi, grab your things and see if the way to the forest on the other side of the road is clear," Gintoki told him. They were working in teams of two sifting through the trunks of both cars. "I'll go get Kagura and the other idiot."
Shinpachi grabbed his pack and scuttled away, hand over his mouth. He'd already started coughing a while ago.
Gintoki closed the trunk and ran up to the car in front. Kagura's eyes instantly met his as he approached.
"Is everything alright, Gin-chan?"
"Yeah, but we gotta bolt. I already asked Shinpachi to check out the path by the forest-"
A big gust of smoke flew by, mussing up their hair, and for a moment Gintoki lost sight of Kagura. He couldn't see a foot in front of him. A strand of panic rose as low growls joined the whistling breeze, their direction hard to pinpoint with the wind buffering Gintoki's hearing and the smoke screening his surroundings.
"I'll see if Pachi is alright!" Kagura yelled.
The curtain of smoke cleared up and Kagura's face appeared up again, eyes scrunched up against the foul wind. She squeezed Gintoki's arm as she walked past him.
Gintoki nodded and turned to Hijikata who was zipping up his backpack by the trunk.
"Hurry up, we gotta go."
"I can't leave them here." Hijikata said glancing at the bodies inside the car.
"You can't help them now. We gotta go." Gintoki insisted. He grabbed Hijikata's pack and shoved it against his chest to stir him on.
"You don't get it!" Hijikata shouted, his eyes were red and not from the smoke. Gintoki started.
"No, you're the one who doesn't get it!" he yelled back "This is the last time I'm warning you-"
"It was all my fault. She died because of me. They all did!"
Gintoki froze, he couldn't even cough out the smoke entering his lungs.
"They die and we burn them. All of them. It's all I do." Hijikata's eyes which had long left Gintoki's to face the ground in shame lifted to watch the fire consuming the small neighbourhood in the distance, "I hate that."
Gintoki was looking at him like he was seeing him for the first time. For a second he'd forgotten the danger of their current situation, even the stench hanging in the air and the dark smoke stinging his eyes. But a second was enough. Something grabbed his backpack and pulled him from behind, growling and desperate. Gintoki fought to keep his balance while teeth clacked unbearably close to his neck, eager for a bite. His hand flew to his blade after the initial shock but Hijikata got to it first and buried it deep in the rotter's brain, right through its left eye. The rotter collapsed to the ground tilting Gintoki, yet Hijikata had a firm grip on his jacket and pulled Gintoki forward into his arms.
"You can thank me later."
Hijikata picked up his backpack and they ditched the highway for good.
The hot toxic fumes of the fire loomed behind them. They trekked through the forest as fast as they could. The fresh air gave them a much needed boost of strength now that they carried heavier packs and fled the possibility of far-travelling sparks starting a forest fire. The tiniest scent of smoke or a particular vivid memory of it gave them pause and they looked over their shoulders in distress. Their worry over it almost equaled the one they felt over bumping into a dormant horde, so they got out from under the trees as soon as they came upon a new road.
It was a narrow path with a single lane. A lonely country road that led no place, left or right, unless they chose to follow it. They were too lost to rely on Gintoki's map and five minutes of looking at it as a group ended up in mindless argument. As was custom with Gintoki and the kids, they decided which direction to take by playing rock-paper-scissors. Kagura won and they went left.
They walked in silence most of the time as they had done in the forest. Once in a while they stopped to check out nearby rustling sounds and put an end to wandering roamers. Yet after two hours of walking the complaints began and with Hijikata taking the role of consummate adult in the group, Gintoki joined Shinpachi's whining rant, adding to it his own string of foolish commentary. The ribbing played out quite well for him because he couldn't get the grief-stricken image of Hijikata out of his head. Focusing on nonsensical woes felt therapeutic in comparison.
At the front, however, Kagura carried on stubbornly, bearing the full weight of her choice. Her confidence faltered with each step. They had been walking for hours and hours with nothing but green and asphalt for a view. Not even a river. Eerie blooming ridges fenced them in from both sides with the occasional valley slope revealing more nothing. At first the natural sights had been a welcoming change from the urban devastation they'd gotten used to. But as the day went on and night approached, no car and no shelter found, Kagura's heart grew heavy with guilt.
They had come to the end of another bend on the road when Hijikata glimpsed a change ahead. He walked a couple of footsteps behind Kagura while the two loudmouths bickered non-stop at the back.
"Oi, sadist girl," he called her, "I think I see something over there. What do you think?"
Kagura followed the direction of Hijikata's pointing finger and squinted.
"It's too dark to be sure, I don't see anything."
"I don't mean on the road." Hijikata noted, stopping beside her.
Kagura looked again and amidst the setting sun she saw them. Thin lines crossing the sky a dozen different ways. A smile spread over her dumb stare and she tore her eyes off the view to look at Hijikata.
"Are those power cables?"
"I hope so," Hijikata said, his words barely heard over Gintoki's shrill ravings, "Because I don't think I can't take much more of this."
Kagura's smile widened.
"Don't worry, Toshi. As soon as we reach town I'll get him something sweet. That always shuts him up."
They didn't find anything sweet in the town they came upon. The sun had set by the time they reached the outskirts and venturing to its center in the dark didn't remotely qualify as an option. They were too tired to go scavenge in the night and, even more so, if their main purpose was to find some kind of nightcap to gag Gintoki. He had kept on a roll, tongue loose without filter. The mindless walking had emptied him of sanity. The idea to gag him at any cost had become very tempting as soon as they found a place to spend the night: one of the many abandoned houses that still stood by the river that ran across the town.
"I swear I'll shove my bat down your throat if I hear one more word." Kagura muttered angrily after Gintoki had lost the last spare room to her. There was no chance they were gonna share the living room that night.
"You know playing scissors five times in a row was considered illegal back in the day?!"
"Shinpachi, hold me back!"
Shinpachi grabbed Kagura by the arm and pulled her away from Gintoki's lax position on the tatami floor.
"Kagura-chan why don't you go on ahead? I'll let you know the watch order."
"As long as you don't let him wake me up." she snapped, giving Gintoki the evil eye.
"Don't worry, I won't."
Shinpachi watched her go and, as her heavy footsteps faded away, so did his smile. He turned to Gintoki with a frown.
"What's with you, Gin-san? We're all tired, just give her a break."
"Oi, oi Shinpachi, you're a hundred years too early to be giving me that speech," Gintoki told him, "I know what I'm doing, alright?"
"You do? You've been riling her up all afternoon, and me, and Hijikata-san. You should go get some sleep, why don't you let me take first watch?"
Gintoki's cool demeanor faltered for a second. The suggestion was unthinkable.
"No need to go all condescending on me, Shinpachi."
Color rose to Shinpachi's cheeks.
"I wasn't – "
"I'm fine. I just needed to let off some steam." Gintoki said straightening up.
Despite knowing full well the reason behind his unnerving behavior, Gintoki couldn't find the words to describe or to apologize for it. Hijikata. The policeman. He had trouble accepting his presence in the group. The fact it had been Gintoki's own selfish decision that had made that happen weighed heavy on him. He couldn't understand how he had strung Hijikata along so easily. Try as he might, through jokes and ramblings, to ignore every single interaction he'd had with the man – and which his brain had decided to replay to eternity – he couldn't make peace with it. No justification was good enough, especially not now that they were moderately safe and far from being ambushed and eaten. Hijikata had become the stranger again. The threat. His maniacal confession at the highway invited a whole new interpretation, yet Gintoki did nothing, as if the state of the world wasn't punishment enough. He thought he had made a good job of dealing with his faults and uncertainties, but looking at Shinpachi's weary face, Gintoki knew he could add another failure to the pile of things he wanted to erase from existence and which, instead of thawing his bad mood, only fueled it.
Gintoki's empty stare, fixated an inch away from Shinpachi's face, turned to the room's sliding door where he'd last seen Hijikata exit to go fill a bucket of water from the river.
"Gin-san, are you sure you want to take first watch?"
"Yeah, I'll wake you up later." Gintoki nodded.
"Right, then I'll switch with Kagura," Shinpachi said getting up "What about Hijikata-san? Does he get the last watch?"
Over my dead body, Gintoki thought, though he had a feeling Hijikata wasn't one to get much sleep.
"Yeah, I'll talk to him."
"Be nice, Gin-san. Goodnight."
Shinpachi left the room and headed upstairs, shoulders slack with relief despite his clear exhaustion. Gintoki found it hard to relate. He crawled backwards and leaned against the wall with a sigh. The tatami floors were speckled with dirt and dust. He hadn't taken his boots off yet. His feet throbbed with pain, bloated and worn from the intense day of travelling on foot. The light from the lamp set in the corner of the room flickered signalling the impending doom of its battery. Gintoki turned it off and fell back against the wall in the dark while listening to the sounds outside.
The river murmured along gentle and steady, so naturally familiar and soothing that it lulled Gintoki into a semi-dormant state. No sudden thumps or dragging feet disturbed him. For a short while he was at peace and his convulsed thoughts careened to the back of mind. Images of his old life gushed forward, revving his ugly old scooter as he drove home, passing by tiny Kagura walking hand in hand with her mother on their way to the supermarket, Zura's tedious face as they studied together for their exams, Shinpachi crying after his sister had left him with Gintoki for the night, the smell of Otose's cigarettes, the occasional pick up at his favourite bar, Catherine's loud knocks at his door telling him to turn down the TV –
Hijikata's return startled Gintoki and he awoke from his recollections with a gasp. He took a long breath as if he had escaped from drowning, his eyes glistened with effort as he recovered from the fright.
Hijikata stilled and pointed his flashlight the other way.
"Sorry, didn't know you were still here." he muttered awkwardly.
"Where else would I be?" Gintoki replied hasty, covering his fluster.
"Don't know, didn't see any light here."
"The lamp's battery died."
The flashlight gave off enough light for Gintoki to notice Hijikata's nod.
"I've left the bucket in the kitchen. I'm not sure how safe that water is to drink, so I poured a bit of vinegar I found in one of the cupboards."
"Great." Gintoki replied.
"Have you decided the watch order?" Hijikata asked, settling down near his backpack.
"Yeah, I go first, then Shinpachi, then Kagura."
"I go last then?"
"No, you do whatever you want." Gintoki stated flat.
Hijikata didn't reply immediately. He fell to silence and a heavy feeling pressed into him, pushing and pushing until he couldn't see sense. He flicked off the flashlight and buried him and Gintoki in darkness, unable to deal with the humiliating fact he was indebted to these people. All his old habits kicked in at once, the itch for a smoke, the grinding of teeth, the endless inward cursing. It had been a while since he had felt that angry. He couldn't say if he preferred it to being depressed and grief-stricken, he couldn't even say if those old habits matched the person he had been once before, before the outbreak, before her.
He stood up and left the room without a thought, right hand feeling his way through the house while he abandoned his left to the old coping mechanism of thumb flicking over the silver wedding band.
Outside the night was cold. Cold and silent. The worst night for Hijikata to exorcise his frustrations, his loneliness, his sorrow.
At first he walked. Feet sure and steady in the world's darkness. He walked and walked until he started seeing them, the dead. One, two, three, four. Later on he couldn't remember how many he had tore through. He only knew he had returned to the abandoned house without firing a shot. Gun cold and holstered.
"Hi-Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi's perplexed whisper welcomed him back, eyes half-scrunched with sleep "Where were you?"
"Couldn't sleep, took a dive in the river."
And he had. Washed off the putrid blood and gory bits, his body was clean, his skin cool to the touch.
"You can take my room upstairs. I'll sleep in Kagura's after we switch."
"Thanks."
Hijikata climbed the stairs impervious to kindness. The river water had chilled him to the bone.
Hijikata didn't miss the shadow behind him as he climbed the stairs. He picked his pace at the last step and turned quickly to shut the door but Gintoki's hand caught his and held the door in place. He entered the room and closed the door behind him, a finger over his lips.
"Quiet or she will kill me."
Hijikata cursed how well his eyes had adjusted to the dark.
"Didn't peg you for a fan of skinny-dipping in the middle of the night." Gintoki whispered again, a bit lower this time.
"You followed me?" Hijikata wondered confused.
"No, but I'll admit I was a little worried."
"Worried I'd bring the rotters here?" Hijikata uttered with spite.
Gintoki opened and closed his mouth with nothing to say. Hijikata scoffed.
"Figured as much."
"No, you're wrong."
Hijikata didn't know where the hand had come from, just that Gintoki had suddenly grabbed his arm, proving to be much closer than Hijikata had believed. His body temperature cooled by the freezing river water was on the rise. He wore the shirt Gintoki had lent him before. He had pulled it his over his head carelessly as he dressed. A mistake.
"I'm sorry about before," Gintoki said, releasing his arm "I don't want to trust you, but I do."
Hijikata held his breath.
"At the highway... thanks for having my back."
Hijikata brushed him off.
"Whatever. We're even now."
Katsura's house stood on top of a hill, walled in the traditional fashion. It looked so quiet and undisturbed from where they stood that it seemed untouched by recent events, namely the catastrophic outbreak and the subsequent end of the world.
Down in the village, at the foot of the hill, the absence of sound told a different story. Some of the sights were familiar to anyone that had walked through a city ravaged by the rot. It didn't sit right with Gintoki to consider that the new 'normal' but what else could he call it? Streets trashed and bloodied, blemished forever as stages of slaughter, despair and fear. However, the village before him lacked any living, dead or undead proof to whatever had taken place there. A deluded, naïve part of him hoped that Katsura had been the reason for that; that he had saved those he could and sheltered them in the big house above. But what village could be that safe, that without sound, that dead?
"Are you sure this is the place?" Kagura asked from the back-seat.
"Yeah." Gintoki replied.
Hijikata drove slowly through the streets and as they got closer to the foot of the hill, stockade walls started showing up and behind them bodies; first a couple laying motionless in a corner, then another strewn across the pavement. Hijikata steered the car around but as he went on he found the road scattered with corpses, every one of them unmoving.
"We should proceed on foot." he said.
No one contested him. They got out of the car, weapons at hand, and staggered. The smell hit them like nothing they'd ever encountered.
"There's too many." Kagura said, going back inside the car for something to cover her nose. Shinpachi threw up before he got to the nearest ditch.
"This ain't natural." Gintoki said dumbfounded.
"What is nowadays?" Hijikata replied morose.
Gintoki sent him an outrageous but affirmative look, forehead creased with lines. He crouched by the next body over and examined it quickly, looking for answers. Out the corner of his eye he caught Hijikata doing the same.
"Anything?" Gintoki asked.
"Clean shot through the head. No signs of death before it either." Hijikata answered.
Gintoki gazed again at the corpse in front of him. A woman in her forties maybe, baby blue shirt splattered with blood from the bite on her neck. A bullet had tore a gaping hole through her temple.
"Bitten, but I don't think she had time to turn." Gintoki summed up. The gag reflex came back. He got up and retraced his steps back to the car.
Kagura handed him a clean shirt and he wrapped it around his neck and pulled up to his nose just like she had.
"There's biters too," Hijikata said already a few meters ahead, navigating through the bodies impervious to their stench, "They're mixed together, it's hard to figure out what happened."
"No shit." Kagura grunted.
Shinpachi had recovered from his vomit break and appeared by her side with a pale countenance, cleaning his glasses with the hem of his shirt. Kagura patted his back and Gintoki passed him a bottle of water.
"Are you sure you wanna go up there, Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked, hands still shaking from the heaving effort.
Gintoki's eyes hadn't left Hijikata who continued to inspect the length of the street heedless of nausea, taking out his gun before peeking into the next corner.
"It's clear. The road up the hill is just ahead." Hijikata said.
Gintoki turned to Shinpachi and summoned his most sympathetic look.
"We've got to. If anyone knows what happened to these people it's Zura."
"What if he's not even there? What if it's a trap?" Shinpachi's questions, anxious and jittery, brought up reasonable concerns. Even Kagura stayed silent with no funny comebacks.
"It won't be." Gintoki answered.
"You can't know that, Gin-san! What if he is dead and whoever did this is-"
"Shinpachi," Gintoki's voice came low, its tone belligerent and final, "He isn't dead. We're going up that road and there won't be any trap."
Shinpachi and Kagura didn't nod. They stood listening quietly, eyes widened. Their reaction prompted a reality check from Gintoki and a wave of regret washed over him. He focused on the bright eyes of the two youths facing him, skin recoiled at the authoritative tone he'd heard come out of his own mouth.
"Why would anyone stick around this place just to set a trap?" he said exhaling a deep breath, "Yeah, he could well be dead, but I know Zura. He thought all this survival crap out, he'll be fine. He will help us out."
"Yeah, and if he bailed he will at least have left us a note or something!" Kagura chimed in, a ghost of a smile on her lips.
Shinpachi looked from one to the other and nodded, conviction dawning in his expression. He gave Gintoki a full nod and after covering his nose was ready to go.
The house gate hung open on both sides, its left door all but smashed. The same tire marks they'd noticed on their way up drew a perfect curve right outside the big house. Gintoki would have noticed them too if his attention hadn't been stolen by the gentle swaying body hanging from a sturdy maple tree beyond the gate.
The high sun cast a timid shadow under it. A small dot barely moving. Dark locks of hair tangled around the noose. Gintoki's chest heaved with a big soundless sob. His lungs emptied themselves of air. His knees gave out and he fell to the ground unable to look up. He closed his eyes to stop the tears from coming, yet his body convulsed with no idea how to stop.
Kagura ran to him, the instinct to hold him in her arms overtook her, but a hand closed around her forearm and pulled her back. Her fiery eyes swollen red with held back tears met Hijikata's icy blue stare. He shook his head softly, signalling it was best to leave him alone. She fought against his grip, wrenched her arm violently but Hijikata didn't let her go. It took Shinpachi's hold to steady her and Kagura, unable to do anything for Gintoki, threw her arms around Shinpachi's shoulders and cried desperately into the crook of his neck.
Shinpachi's glasses fogged as he too let out hot tears. Hijikata took it as a mercy that he didn't have to see the pain in the kids' eyes.
"I'm gonna go check the house." Hijikata said, no assurance whatsoever he'd been heard.
He walked past Gintoki without so much as a glance in his direction. Instead he looked up at the hanging man. The cries had roused him – roused it. Eyes beady white, dead. He struggled against the fatal clasp on his neck, too tight for him to utter anything but insignificant, inaudible gasps.
The noose was not the only thing around Katsura's neck. Someone had scribbled on a piece of cardboard that hung over his chest. Bold characters that read in dark blood, 'HOPE IS DEAD'.
The house had been trashed and ransacked of supplies but the basics of the old life remained, those of no use to the kind that had plundered and defiled it. Hijikata had found no rotters or corpses inside it and no explanation to the carnage they'd seen outside. However, given the state of his companions no explanation would have been of avail.
He climbed down the hill again and drove the car up to the house, clearing a few bodies out of the way. Shinpachi and Kagura had withdrawn inside by the time he got back. Hijikata parked the car across the gate to block the passage as much as possible and then began unloading their backpacks. Gintoki had abandoned his previous spot and relocated to a sitting position against the tree. He leaned against it like he too was lifeless. Hijikata had trouble stomaching the sight. He could see himself there. His own face. So he kept busy. He couldn't go back there. He couldn't.
Shinpachi's helping hand surprised him.
"Let me help." his voice sounded young, too young. He picked up two bags and walked back to the house in stride as if he led them.
Hijikata followed with nothing but warmth.
The moon shone in the night sky. Stars shone. A beautiful sight pinned above for absolutely no human soul capable of enjoying it. Kagura had fallen asleep without eating a morsel. Shinpachi had spread out a futon for her in the adjoining room. His face was bloated from crying, disparate from the dignity he tried to exhibit with every move.
"I'll go look for more mattresses upstairs." he told Hijikata, flashlight in hand.
Hijikata lifted his hand to stop him. He swallowed the last bit of his canned meal and chucked the can away.
"Eat first."
"I'm not hungry." Shinpachi replied stubbornly.
Hijikata stood up. He towered more than a foot over Shinpachi and he took advantage of that fact to convey his message.
"You can't stay strong on an empty stomach."
It seemed to do the trick. Shinpachi's bold stare softened and he sat down by the low table where Hijikata had set a sparse dinner for them.
"I'll go see about the futons. Shut the lamp after you've finished, batteries don't come cheap nowadays."
Hijikata climbed the stairs to the upper floor, dodging the wood splinters he'd noticed on his first house sweep earlier that evening. He found two futons in the closet of the guest room and another in the master bedroom, but the last was torn and smeared with footprints. Didn't really matter since one of them would have to keep watch anyway.
Hijikata expected a long night ahead of him.
Shinpachi was already nodding off by the time he returned with the futons. He urged Shinpachi to sleep regardless of protest, telling him the sooner he fell asleep the earlier he'd be up for a shift. Leading the post-outbreak police effort with Kondo had coerced Hijikata into acts of tyranny, but he had learned how to manage egos well enough.
There was only one left to deal with. The one he knew he couldn't manage at all. The one worse than a mirror.
Gintoki didn't flinch as Hijikata approached him.
The moon hung low, casting long shadows. Katsura's small dot had developed into a lengthy crevice, a black chasm by Gintoki's feet.
"The kids are asleep. There's a lot of places for you to mope around inside."
No response. Hijikata looked at the feet dangling by his head.
"Help me pull him down." It wasn't a question or a command.
Gintoki's breath hitched, the first sound Hijikata had heard from him since he had collapsed on his knees. He turned around to go fetch something to get to the rope. Gintoki's rugged voice stopped him.
"Give me your gun."
He was standing now. Wavy strands of hair covering his eyes.
"You are not shooting him in the middle of the night." Hijikata stated matter-of-fact.
Gintoki lunged at him. Grief slowed him down. His movements were jerky, not thoroughly thought out. Hijikata had little trouble standing his ground.
"Calm down, listen to me." he grabbed Gintoki by both shoulders. Moonlight played with the color of Gintoki's eyes and Hijikata met a darker shade in them, charged and alive.
"First we lower him down. You hold his legs while I cut the rope from behind."
Gintoki scoffed.
"It's your skin."
Hijikata didn't reply. He brought back a stool he had found knocked over in the kitchen and put his plan in motion. Katsura's undead corpse stirred the second Gintoki grabbed his legs. Hijikata tied up Katsura's hands before cutting the rope with his knife but, once he did it, the weight of Katsura's entire body overwhelmed Gintoki and they toppled to the ground. The maneuver tipped Hijikata off balance as well. He stumbled back and fell on his ass.
He lost his senses for a second, brain numb from the impact, not processing the pain so much as the feel of dry leaves under his palms. When he came to, Katsura's corpse was on top of Gintoki looking for a place to sink its teeth. Hijikata scrambled to his feet, heart suddenly in his throat. A silver gleam flashed in the darkness and Gintoki's blade found the inside of Katsura's skull.
Katsura's body slumped on top of him; in peace at last. Hijikata pulled the body away and helped Gintoki to his feet. Streaks of foul blood ran down his face.
"Next time I'll just shoot you and then him." Gintoki hissed, wiping the blood off his face with the back of his hand.
Hijikata had nothing to say in his defense. Relief coursed through him.
"Fair enough."