Heaven Knows Everyone Is Miserable Now
Chapter 6: Trapped
The towels Sarutobi had left to dry on the wash line flapped in the morning breeze. An autumnal wind blew through the forest trees and surfed over the sacred fence protecting the shrine. Hijikata heard nothing but the sound of rustling leaves flit across the courtyard outside. High above his head, beyond the narrow upper windows of the main room, he glimpsed dim stretches of sky and a lighter shade of grey heralding the coming dawn with no change to the weather. Rainy skies remained and a soft drizzle poured on and off, touching everything and nothing.
The towels would take a while to dry, Hijikata thought. He was struggling to stay awake while he watched Zenzou. Shinpachi and Sarutobi were asleep and Kagura and Gintoki kept watch at the gate, unusually silent. The warm bath the previous night had mellowed them all. The bad humor that usually festered with hunger had been easier to tame after their bodies were warmed and their stomachs filled, albeit poorly. Shinpachi had done the best he could with what was left of the spicy ramen flavor packets and the endless batch of moldy onions he had found stored in one of the farm houses. There had been potatoes too once, but Zenzou and Sarutobi had gone through the stash before their arrival, and the little rice they still had they didn't dare eat. It felt too much like a last meal.
Hijikata jerked his head as his mind conjured the memory of a bowl of steamy white rice, Mitsuba leaning over the rice cooker with the paddle in hand, ready to serve him and her brother; a journey back in time to an ordinary moment which Hijikata knew was not as simple as nostalgia would like him to remember. He hated to admit it but he had only tolerated Sougo's visits for her. Their animosity had never truly disappeared since he and Mitsuba had tied the knot. The kid had been content to pester and tease him while he was dating his sister but as soon as ideas began to settle, as soon as Mitsuba had started to plan her life away from her little brother, Sougo had begun to make Hijikata's life hell. Her death hadn't put a stop to it either. The inverse had happened and Hijikata was glad to be away from the same flesh as hers. Sougo had a singular way of pressing his buttons, like a little kid who, overlooked by his parents, plays in secret with the carcass of a dead animal, squeezing and poking at it in hopes it will squeal. He didn't let Hijikata's shortcomings slide and he had never missed the opportunity to flung them in Mitsuba's face. Hijikata had pitied him at times, ignorant of the way he made his sister miserable. But what would it do to mull over that now? It was too late and Hijikata could barely remember her voice. Her face still came to him in nightmares, but her soft, kind eyes became fainter with each new iteration that visited him. Even Sougo's bitter smile, masking all the ways in which he despised him, was slowly dissolving and turning into a smile of relief, a smile that showed how happy he was to be rid of him.
"Something heavy on your mind?" Zenzou was awake and staring at Hijikata from behind his bushy mop of hair. His voice tore through the silence of dawn like an arrow, quiet and deadly. In an instant they had switched roles and Hijikata wondered how long Zenzou had been watching him.
"No, just 'craving a smoke." Hijikata replied.
"You could'a simply asked." Zenzou said good-humouredly. He reached for the backpack behind his pillow mound and rummaged inside it until he found a crushed cigarette pack. He flicked open the cover with his thumb, pulled out a crinkly cigarette for himself and tossed the pack over to Hijikata.
Hijikata caught it with both hands and immediately lit one, too grateful to object to Zenzou smoking. Zenzou signaled him for the lighter, cigarette secure between two fingers, and Hijikata paused. Something about him felt off. Aside from the flat stretch of blanket where his leg should have been, he looked restored. Color had returned to his face, a fine tan hue. A stranger wouldn't have been to tell a part of his body was rotting away and eating him from the inside out.
"Here." Hijikata handed Zenzou the lighter, hesitant to throw it back. He watched Zenzou light it without a hitch, fingers nimble. One flick and it was done.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it."
They smoked in silence. Hijikata drew on his cigarette with relish, blowing out cloud after cloud of white smoke. The burning tips of their cigarettes shone bright in the dark room, a flickering orange glow whose cosy atmosphere Zenzou broke with a cough.
Hijikata started alarmed, reminded for a second of the sick man's health.
"It's been a while," Zenzou said, motioning him to sit down, "I'm fine."
Hijikata nodded unconvinced. He leaned back against the wall pondering whether or not to call for help, yet Zenzou didn't allow him enough time to consider a flimsy excuse. He skirted over their awkward silence and began to probe Hijikata for answers, out of boredom or some other concealed motive, Hijikata couldn't say.
"You look like you've seen your share of miserable things." Zenzou said.
"You saying I look guilty?" Hijikata countered.
"You look like you've done things you regret. Isn't that the same?"
"What I've done had to be done. It didn't ask for my opinion first."
"Yes, yes," Zenzou chuckled, "That's the spirit."
Hijikata twisted the crinkly cigarette between his fingers. Ash fell onto his pant leg and he brushed it off mindlessly. He spoke without looking Zenzou in the eye, the shadows made it impossible.
"Are you in pain?"
"I'm always in pain now," Zenzou answered, "I'm learning to live with it. Well, living might be a poor choice of word."
Hijikata inhaled deeply. The smoke entered his lungs but he felt no relief. Zenzou rambled on.
"Every kid has always dreamed of brandishing a sword, of being the hero... of pulling the trigger. This new world of ours, isn't it the perfect opportunity to try it out?"
"Where are you going with this?"
"I want you to kill me," Zenzou confessed, "I don't wanna become one of those things."
Hijikata was quiet. He understood it then. Zenzou was gauging his willingness to end his life, to sacrifice a part of himself to do it. To kill Zenzou before Zenzou could no longer decide for himself. Before Zenzou was the one doing the killing.
A bitter taste prickled Hijikata's mouth and he realized he had bitten his cigarette.
"Why me?"
"Because out of all the people here you're the one with the least to lose," Zenzou said brazenly. He paused for a second, reconsidering, but his next sentence was honest, rattled by a half-cough, half-chuckle, "Don't take it personally."
Hijikata replied fast, stoic.
"I don't."
"Think of it like a favor you'll be doing me. You've done people favors, haven't you? You must know by now how they go both ways." Zenzou said. His tone betrayed a penchant for manipulation but Hijikata sniffed despair like a trained dog.
"It will be a favor you won't be able to repay." he replied.
"Take Sarutobi from here after I'm gone." Zenzou's tone dropped as he spoke her name. He sounded genuine now, desperation apparent.
"Oi, that's not what I meant by repaying a favor. That's just another favor."
"I'm not leaving this place," Zenzou said, "Not walking, not crawling, definitely not alive. I'm holding everybody back. In a few more days there will be nothing left to eat. You'll have to leave this place for longer periods of time if you want to find any food, but even that will be hard while that horde is nested in the town," he put down his cigarette, his fingers had begun to tremble, "I can handle the pain, but this is not how I want to live the rest of my days. An invalid. Can't you see what I am asking of you, Hijikata-san? Weren't you a cop? This is not you doing me a favor. It's me doing you one. Just kill me, dammit!"
A wisp of smoke blew from Hijikata's parted lips. He couldn't answer Zenzou's plea.
"Didn't you kill her too?" Zenzou's voice was emotionless as he changed strategy, his tone contemplative, restraining the despair which had briefly surfaced before, "And I don't mean Soyo. I mean her." Zenzou raised a finger and pointed to the wedding ring around Hijikata's finger.
Hijikata flinched. A flash of anger crossed his face. He sought Zenzou's eye and fought the urge to punch him.
"I don't suppose you wear that ring to keep the ladies away," Zenzou said with a laugh, "'You gonna tell me she's still alive?"
"That's none of your business."
"I'll take that as a no."
"If you don't shut up right now-"
"I didn't know it was such a sore spot."
"You better-"
The door to the outer corridor slid open and Kagura walked in, eyes wild and searching. Footsteps trailed along the corridor behind her. She answered the question rushing to Hijikata's lips before he could ask it.
"Gin-chan went to get 'Pachi and Sa-chan. We gotta go. Now." her voice was breathless and her hands shook.
"What happened?"
"They're here." Kagura said, kneeling down by Hijikata.
"Who? Where?" Hijikata asked.
"Gin-chan and I heard them on the other side of the gate."
"Who?"
Kagura's hand found Hijikata's and squeezed it. Zenzou answered.
"Sweepers."
Hijikata's heart rose to his throat. His pulse picked up. He couldn't move. Kagura's wide eyes pinned him in place. He could see the apprehension in them, the raw fear rendered by the thoughts running amok inside her head. People at the gate. People who might hurt them. Bad people. Not the mindless rotting bodies always hungry, always dragging their feet regardless of natural law. Real people. People with nimble feet and cognizant minds. Armed. Unknown.
"How many?" Hijikata lowered his voice, his words came out raspy and strained.
Kagura shook her head.
"I don't know, we just heard footsteps. They were too fast for creepers."
"Shit," Hijikata inhaled the last of his nicotine and sprang to his feet reaching for the gun inside his holster, "Wait here for the others," he told Kagura, "I'll go check the perimeter, see if the gate is holding. Is it locked?"
Kagura nodded.
"Good. It will take them a while to breach it."
"Are you so eager for a kill, Hijikata-san?" Zenzou's defiant tone had returned to admonish him, "Those guys are too clever," he mused, "How many settlements and camps do you think they've raided? Let's just get this over with so you can get outta' here with your hides intact. I'm a much easier kill."
Hijikata was silent. He tightened the grip on his gun, considering the offer. Kagura's head turned back and forth between the two men in dismay.
"H-hey, what's going on?" she spoke unsure, voice like a baby bird's, "Toshi?"
"C'mon, Hijikata-san, you know I'm right. You're losing precious time."
Brisk footsteps interrupted them. A blur of lavender ran past Kagura and moved in front of Zenzou shielding him from the scope of Hijikata's gun. His finger had barely grazed the trigger before a large hand grabbed his own and held it down.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Gintoki hissed under his breath so close to Hijikata's face Hijikata could smell the rainy wee hours on him.
"I'm doing us all a favor."
"I'll fucking kill you!" Sarutobi growled. She had her hands around Zenzou's shoulders, sizing him up, making sure he was still there, yet she released him in a split second and bolted for Hijikata's throat with her knife. Gintoki stepped between the two and pushed her away but Sarutobi did not relent. She bound for Hijikata again, eyes flaring behind her glasses. Only Shinpachi and Kagura's grip on her backpack managed to hold her back.
"Sarutobi-san, please stop. This is not the time!" Shinpachi cried out, barely able to keep his voice low.
His pleading tone sobered the oldest in the group and they shared a moment of silence in acknowledgment of their folly. Sarutobi kneeled by Zenzou and put an arm around his back.
"Grab my shoulders." she said.
"Sarutobi-"
A loud thundering sound ripped through the hollow corridors of the shrine. Birds shot out of the trees fluttering and flapping their wings against the spindly branches. Something akin to a battering ram bashed against the shrine's gate and made the ground shake.
Zenzou grabbed Sarutobi's forearm, the looming danger imbued his words with candor.
"Sarutobi, you know this place better than anyone. Take the kids through the small gate behind the sanctuary and run. It's the only way out of here."
"I'm not leaving without you!"
"Ayame!"
Sarutobi froze as he called out her name. Tears filled her eyes but she refused to cry.
"You know the hidden trails, the traps around this place. You're the best chance they got. I won't get far, not even with your help. We've already buried Soyo. Do you wanna leave these kids to the same fate?"
Sarutobi's glasses were foggy. Her lavender bangs hid her expression. Zenzou held her head between both of his hands and placed a kiss on top of it.
"We did good."
Whatever Sarutobi replied no one was able to catch. She got up, adjusted the straps on her backpack and beckoned Shinpachi and Kagura to her side.
"You two, with me."
They nodded but looked at Gintoki for reassurance first.
"Go with her. We'll be right behind." Gintoki said.
"We'll buy you some time." Hijikata added.
"If you lay a finger on him, you're dead." Sarutobi said under her breath. Her eyes focused on Hijikata but it was Gintoki who replied, with a cold smile on his face.
"Same to you," he said, "If anything happens to them."
Sarutobi shrugged, nose runny from her held back tears. She gave Gintoki a walkie and showed him the inside of her coat where she had another one tucked in.
"You take Hattori's. Check in when you're clear but never reveal your position. We'll be going west around the mountain towards the farms." she said and left the room with the two kids running after her.
Inside the room no one spoke. For a moment they stood quiet, listening to the battering at the gate, unsure what to do. The sound, however, stopped much sooner than they anticipated. Either the Sweepers had given up or the dead had caught up with them. Hijikata had no time to determine which because Gintoki snatched the gun from his hand and aimed it straight at Zenzou before he could stop him.
"You can drop the act now," Gintoki said, "I didn't mean what I said lightly. If anything happens to the kids, Kinky-Glasses will eat a bullet."
Despite the threat, Zenzou chuckled. He raised his arms half-heartedly.
"Don't be hasty, Gin-san. I promise you she won't lay a hand on them. Do you even know how to use that?"
"We'll find out." Gintoki said, pulling the hammer.
"Wait," it was Hijikata's turn to step in, "Let me have that."
"No. There's something he ain't telling us. She didn't either," Gintoki said, nudging the gun towards the spot Sarutobi had stood in minutes before, "She was too worried about him so I couldn't be sure," he adjusted his grip on the gun, "I heard those guys at the gate. They said your names. Hattori and Sarutobi. They know who you are."
Zenzou was silent. His unreadable expression masked his guilt.
Sweepers. Zenzou had said. Kagura had not relayed much of what she and Gintoki had heard at the gate yet Zenzou had known, he had answered promptly without a hint of doubt.
Hijikata gritted his teeth. He stood beside Gintoki with clenched fists, adding it all up.
"You lied. They weren't after the little girl. They were after you two."
A crashing sound came from the gate. Chunks of stone and wood tumbled as the wicket gate toppled to the ground in one fell swoop. The Sweepers had broken in. Hijikata dry-swallowed, the fear all but gone in the face of Zenzou's reveal. Gintoki stood motionless beside him, aim steady.
"You're one of them." Gintoki said.
"We were," Zenzou replied without pretense, "It's too long a story to tell now. But protecting Soyo was not a lie. She was in danger. We tried to save her and now we are paying the price."
"Too fucking late for that." Hijikata snapped.
"Sa-ru-to-biii~! Ha-tto-riii~!" the jovial, singsong voice of a woman chimed at the steps of the main hall, "We know you're holed up in here. Very kind of you to leave the bodies behind, but kinda dumb too? I thought you guys were more careful than that," she said, "A real disappointment."
"It looked like Sarutobi's job to me." another voice remarked, male, nonchalant.
Hijikata and Gintoki turned to Zenzou for answers but the footsteps got louder as the Sweepers climbed the front steps towards the main hall.
"Hide in the adjoining room," Zenzou told them in a whisper. He reached for his pack and took out a gun, "Take this and run. You won't buy time for anyone now."
Hijikata took it and scrambled to the adjoining room with Gintoki right behind him. The mattresses where Shinpachi and Sarutobi had slept in that morning lay in the middle of the room rumpled, the remnants of a past life. Gintoki made for the side door that led to the farm houses but Hijikata stopped. He couldn't go along with the plan. Guilt rooted him to the hardwood floors of the shrine. The begging plea of a suicidal man weighted heavier on his conscience than the contempt he had for his veiled betrayal. Besides, if Zenzou had spoken the truth, at last the truth, they were leaving him not only to die but to the mercy of his enemies. Alone, sick, maimed. It was worse than leaving him to be eaten alive.
Gintoki looked over at Hijikata impatiently. Hijikata would not hold it against him if he went after Sarutobi and the kids. He had too much to lose. Two bright kids. Two strands of hope. But not Hijikata. Hijikata could be tied down by his guilt, his morals. It was almost a privilege in a way.
"Come on!" Gintoki beckoned him, voice hushed.
"I'm sorry," Hijikata said, "He deserves a better death than this."
Zenzou had sought Hijikata to be his executioner because he didn't want to burden Sarutobi or Gintoki with his death. He didn't want to mar their futures. How bad could Zenzou be, how terrible a man, broken as he was, if he was still brave enough to put other people's futures ahead of his own? He had had no other choice but to conceal his past. His and Sarutobi's secret.
"Are you sweet on Kinky-Glasses or what?" Gintoki's voice rang deep, vibrant, "She treats you bad but you like it, uh?"
Hijikata's brows furrowed, his mouth opened slightly in confusion. He could see Gintoki's mouth curl up in a devious smile.
"You're an M, aren't you?"
The side door of the adjoining room opened and two men appeared with guns pointed at them. Shadows hid their faces but their silhouettes cut sharp in the doorway.
"Hold it there, fellas."
Hijikata knew he was staring at the muzzle of a hunting rifle as he laid Zenzou's gun on the floor.
"You too, Curly," one of the men said to Gintoki, "Drop it on the floor."
Gintoki sighed aloud and did as the man bid. He put down Hijikata's gun slowly and raised his arms.
"Now, now, we want all of them. Jack knives, shivs, forks, nail clippers, pencils, we know how people get creative with killing these days." the man said.
"Nail clippers is a good one." Gintoki commented.
"Just shut up and empty those pockets, Nii-chan."
Hijikata's brows furrowed anxiously as he watched Gintoki struggle not to reply. The darkness of the room was their sole advantage if they wanted to escape, yet the muzzle Hijikata had sensed in front of him touched his forehead and forced him to comply. Hijikata heard Gintoki toss his knives on the floor. The clattering sound as he disposed of his weapons grieved and numbed him, it was a surrender Hijikata couldn't readily accept. Then Gintoki spoke. Just one word. No levity in his voice.
"Hijikata."
Hijikata dropped his combat knife on the floor. The silent man holding the muzzle to his forehead pressed it harder against his skin. Hijikata drew out the blade he had tucked inside his right boot and grunted. The icy touch of the muzzle disappeared. When neither he nor Gintoki moved, the more talkative of the two men clicked his tongue in contentment and pointed his gun to the door behind their backs.
"Walk."
Gintoki and Hijikata were escorted back to the main room unarmed. They took slow, deliberate steps back the way they had come from and found the room that welcomed them much different from the one they had left. The front doors were open and the faint white light of dawn lit the dark corners of the room shrinking it in size. As for its occupant, Zenzou, he no longer sat alone. Half a dozen figures stood in a semi circle behind the woman in front of him. She had a slender frame and blond hair with dark roots showing where she had tied it in a side-ponytail. Two guns hung on a double holster fastened to her hips.
The man holding the rifle behind Gintoki's head addressed her as soon as they entered the room.
"We caught two of them."
The woman did not look impressed.
"Sarutobi?" she asked.
"We're still looking."
"Hm," the blond replied, her eyes wandered to Hijikata, "Isn't this the one you caught in the trap when you tried to flush them out, senpai?"
The silent man behind Hijikata nodded.
Gintoki snorted. Hijikata bit his lower lip to contain his rage. He could still feel the bump in his head where the swinging stone had hit him. He had been right all along. Somebody had triggered Sarutobi's trap on purpose when he had gone down to check for rotters. Shit. How long had these fuckers been watching the shrine?
"You see, Hattori, we've been trailing you for a while," the woman said, unknowingly answering Hijikata's question, "We wanted to see if you had made new friends. These two look like promising recruits. Whaddaya think?"
Zenzou scoffed.
"They're too soft."
"Then we'll toughen them up a bit," the woman replied, "Fellas."
Gintoki and Hijikata had little time to prepare for impact. The butts of the rifles keeping them in place met the backs of their heads with swift motion. Hijikata gasped as the one behind him connected with the bruise on his scalp. He stumbled forward and fell on the floor hands first, balance lost. It was no use trying to regain it either. Three pairs of feet came looking for his ribs and the soft flesh bellow his stomach, robbing him of air. He curled up on himself to deflect the kicks, arms covering his head and eyes shut. The taste of blood burned his tongue as he bit the inside of his cheek. A boot slammed against the base of his neck before the beating was over and the woman's voice reached him again, closer, right beside him.
"Oh, what's this?"
He opened his eyes and saw Gintoki lying next to him with four arms and two feet holding him down for his sheer strength. He struggled against his captors as they tied his hands and feet, shouting obscenities.
The blond woman bent over him and reached a hand inside his jacket. She pulled out the walkie Sarutobi had entrusted him and whistled. Gintoki stilled.
"Were you two going somewhere?" she wondered, "Maybe meet a friend?" she turned the walkie on, adjusted the frequency, "Hello? Hello? Sa-chan? Are you there? Over and out."
She waited a few seconds but there was no reply.
"Oi, Sarutobi, you ugly bitch, say something. Over."
"It's no use, Matako. You won't catch her," Zenzou said from his perch on the mat, "She'll be miles away by n-"
A foot connected with Zenzou's temple and he tumbled sideways.
"One would think that without a leg you would be much smarter about the way you play this." Matako grumbled.
Zenzou sat back up and clasped his stump.
"I know how it ends."
"Do ya?" Matako smiled, "What do you think we came here for? What do you think we've wasted precious supplies for? Just to come here and kill you? Some petty revenge for leaving the gang?"
"Soyo is dead." Zenzou stated.
The room was quiet. Then the silent man who had held Hijikata at gunpoint spoke.
"There's an unmarked grave out back. Looks small, like a kid's."
"Well, we knew she was gone already," Matako rolled her eyes, huffing, "Pity. I still think her uncle would have given us a fat cut for her animated corpse."
"Classy." Zenzou spat.
"Not as classy as what we'll do to you," Matako replied, her expression ruthless, "We were supposed to take you and Sarutobi back. Make an example out of you and give everyone a show. But I can't risk another month of endless search for that bitch. You and this desolate place will have to do, and your friends here..." she turned towards Gintoki and Hijikata lying on the floor, "You and Sarutobi always had a soft spot for the innocent ones, didn't you? But you forget there are no innocent people now. That's why you fail. You won't be able to see the future we're making. The future he talked about."
"You can have it." Zenzou replied.
Matako ignored him and turned on the walkie again.
"Oi, Sarutobi. I know you're listening. I hope you and Hattori bade your goodbyes. I was thinking of bringing him back home with me but he is too crippled to survive the trip. Barely serves as consolation prize now that I don't even have the girl's undead corpse to trade. How incompetent can you be, ugly? Were you really trying to save her? It makes ya' think, don't it? You acting all high an' mighty running away from the gang just 'cause you couldn't handle the way we were taking this word by the balls, but then you end up trapped in this goddamn place, this- what's this place called? Anyone know? Well, nevermind. Everything you wanted to protect is gonna be buried here. The girl, now Hattori and these two guys... I wonder, is one of them your type? I'm thinking the dark-haired one, no? Anyway, we're guiding the horde here. You have, uhm-" Matako glanced at her naked wrist before continuing, "Like, twenty minutes or so before the dead are here to feast on your buddies. I wouldn't dream of touching Hattori in his state, better have nature deal with him. She always was a fair mistress, don't you agree? Well, you should thank me too. After all, you'll get a chance to save everyone. A slim chance. Just how you like it. See ya' soon. Over."
Matako pulled out the two revolvers from the holster hanging by her hips and grinned.
"Now that's done, let's raise a racket."
Gintoki ran down the hill, briar patches tearing at him, honed branches stinging his hands and face. He ducked under low boughs and side-stepped protuberant tree roots that emerged from the ground like boulders. When he finally broke free of the deep woods he was thrown into a vast open expanse. Fields of abandoned pastures surrounded him dotted with the carcasses of dead animals, the haziest ones whittled to mere bone rubble. Two footpaths crossed the fields to his left, one leading to a cluster of buildings in the far horizon and another to a grove moored at the foot of a small hill. Gintoki made for the buildings, then a dot moved. It had come from the same tightly packed forest he had just escaped from and sped towards the thicket of trees. Gintoki's heart swelled. He followed it.
A dozen trees huddled together forming a picturesque gazebo. Their branches fell low erecting a barrier against the outside world. Gintoki trod through the bushes of thistle and bramble surrounding it at the end of the footpath, mind blank. He didn't consider who it was he had seen. It could have been one of the Sweepers waiting for him, gun ready. If so, good. Gintoki still had enough adrenaline pumping through him to kill one of them. His blood boiled at the thought. He walked on, blade in hand.
He parted the boughs of the trees and glimpsed a small clearing inside the grove. A single azalea breathed colour into the motley brown shades of vegetation. Streaks of light perforated the intertwined trees like spears. Gintoki kneeled by the flowers, hidden from sight.
"Drop your weapon." he howled. Silence followed. Over the scented buds Gintoki saw the back of the man who had fled into the clearing. A streak of sunlight got in Gintoki's eye. He did not see the man chucking his gun aside but he heard it fall to the ground.
"Hands over your head if you know what's good for you." Gintoki said.
The man raised his arms and Gintoki was surprised by the prompt surrender. He left his spot by the edge of the azalea bush and walked to the center of the clearing where a cluster of shadows protected him and the sun was no longer in his eye. His breath hitched. He recognized the black hair and the police jacket. Hope burst through him.
"Are you bit?"
"No." Hijikata replied, hands still in the air.
"I don't believe you." the words left Gintoki's mouth with as much effort as it took him to replay the last time he had seen Hijikata. Left to die among a mob of rotters.
"You want proof?" Hijikata lowered his hands and turned around.
The part of Gintoki's brain that processed touch shut off as their eyes met. Gintoki couldn't feel the handle of the blade in his grip. The small cuts and bruises he had gathered fleeing the Sweepers tingled to naught. The air inside the grove was ripe and stuffy, warmed by the scent of the azalea blossoms. It was hard to breathe. Harder to breathe than the heavy draft that hung above the dry grass of the pasture fields or the damp air cloistered in the forest trap he had run away from a century ago when he had thought Hijikata dead.
Hijikata's police jacket fell to the floor next to his backpack. He buttoned down his shirt and dumped it on top of the jacket. His boots followed. He pulled them off and then grabbed his belt. Gintoki noticed he had his mouth open. He didn't say anything. He didn't ask Hijikata to stop. Hijikata loosened his belt and pulled down his pants, underwear included. Gintoki didn't move. His eyes roamed Hijikata's naked body, skin unmarred by teeth marks. Hijikata turned around with arms outstretched, back straight as he proved his point. He was reaching for his clothes again when Gintoki regained control of himself.
"I'm in love with you, you know that, right?" Gintoki didn't know why that was the first thing that came out of his mouth. He could have chosen simpler and easier ways that weren't so messy but surely equally meaningful like I'm glad you're not dead or Nice proof or even Not a bite in sight. But curse the naked fool in front of him, so guarded and serious and lovelorn all the time he couldn't part with his wedding ring. And now here he was showing it all off just so Gintoki would believe him.
"You're only saying that because you thought I was dead." Hijikata brushed him off and gave his pants a whip before putting them back on.
Gintoki placed a hand on Hijikata's cheek. The tips of his fingers touched Hijikata's ear.
"I'm starting to think that would be a lot easier."
Hijikata's mouth was open before Gintoki leaned in for a kiss. A chaste touch of lips, then a joint intake of breath as their tongues met and the ground swerved under Gintoki's feet, mind and senses inebriated by Hijikata's taste, his scent, the touch of his skin. Hijikata's hands clutched Gintoki's jacket as their kiss deepened. Gintoki broke for air, panting. He slid the straps of his backpack down, unburdening himself from the weight. Goosebumps spread out on Hijikata's skin.
"You cold?" Gintoki's voice was hoarse and his hands shook. His whole body reverberated with the release of emotions he had been holding for weeks, maybe months. He hadn't realized their full spectrum until Hijikata's deep blue eyes faced him head on and closed with relief as they kissed.
Slowly and deliberately, Gintoki repeated the gesture, hands tracing the taut muscles of Hijikata's back. Hijikata hummed low in his throat, echoing a part of himself that still fought pleasure. Gintoki stopped. His trembling ceased. He detached his mouth from Hijikata's and with the tip of his nose trailed a path down his collarbone. It was Hijikata's turn to quiver. His chest went tight containing the burning heat within. He gripped the sleeves of Gintoki's shirt, stretching the seams in a wasted effort to resist the way Gintoki teased a soft spot of skin before leaving a mark.
"I can't breathe." Hijikata said. Gintoki gazed up at him, blood racing. Under his tongue he could feel Hijikata's heartbeat drum in sync.
"Do you want me to stop?"
It took Hijikata one deep breath to answer.
"No."
Gintoki blushed. The massive erection swelling inside his pants throbbed with joy and pain. He wanted Hijikata to touch it, to ache with a hardness of his own. And he did. Gintoki slid one leg forward, opened Hijikata's thighs and pressed against it.
Hijikata moaned.
Gintoki kneeled down and his calloused hands slid down Hijikata's waist to hold him in place by the hips.
"What are you-?"
"I'll warm you up." Gintoki said. He put out his tongue and took Hijikata in his mouth.
Gintoki woke up choking on the taste of blood. Nothing lingered of the sweet-savory strangeness he remembered from his dream, only metal and hurt. Drool ran down the corners of his mouth soaking the ropey bind gagging him. His first reaction was to pull it off but his hands were tied behind his back and so were his feet. His body was sore from being kicked around. He could feel the bruised spots where he had been hit and the stinging pain on the side of his head where he had been knocked out. He would have given anything to go back to his dream.
He looked about him. The room was partially lit. The shrine's main room. Light filtered in from the high windows. The place was still. The Sweepers were gone. Rotters growled outside, dozens of them, that incessant, mind-numbing murmur, but another growl could be heard much closer, weak and broken. Gintoki turned around and saw Zenzou's body lying beside him on the floor. A long deep gash gleamed red across his throat. His eyes faced the ceiling, empty and colourless.
He was turning.
Gintoki writhed away and sat up against the wall. He exhaled with relief as he saw Hijikata across from him, hands and feet tied and a gag over his mouth just like him. He was peeking through the narrow slit of the front doors at the courtyard outside, watching the rotters. Gintoki tried to call out to him but his speech came out garbled and incoherent against the gag. Hijikata, nonetheless, heard him and mumbled back words Gintoki couldn't understand. They grumbled uselessly at each other until Hijikata's voice rose a notch and he pointed with his head towards Zenzou's body. His feet trembled and his fingers, which moments before had laid motionless beside his dead body, twitched frantically.
Gintoki cursed against the gag and wormed his way towards Hijikata. They needed to get out of their constraints before Zenzou's corpse knew hunger, before he and Hijikata were to become his first meal.
Hijikata was staring at Zenzou's body when Gintoki reached him. His eyes widened when he realized Gintoki hadn't stop but was instead coming closer and closer. He whimpered confused but Gintoki ignored him, too focused on his task. He turned his back to Hijikata and prodded Hijikata's midriff with his fingers, twisting and turning his shoulders for access on account of the bind digging into his wrists. Hijikata growled and tried to squirm away from his prying hands. He was about to headbutt him when Gintoki stopped and turned around, looking Hijikata dead in the eye. He took a deep breath before lowering his gaze to the piece of fabric gagging Hijikata.
A musky scent filled Hijikata's nostrils as Gintoki leaned forward. Their cheeks touched and Hijikata felt something wet and hot lick his face. Teeth grazed his skin, bold but oddly intimate. He forgot to breathe. When Gintoki finally managed to pull down the gag, Hijikata gasped for air like a drowning man. He could feel saliva drip down his chin and he wasn't sure it was entirely his own. His lungs kept expanding beyond their capacity or perhaps it was his swelling rib-cage trying to stifle his escalating heartbeat.
Zenzou's body hummed a deep growl. Gintoki wailed. Hijikata didn't need his stupid mumbling to know what he was asking for.
"They took our weapons, you fucking idiot," Hijikata rasped, "I'll see if he has a blade tucked in somewhere before he starts moving."
Gintoki rolled his eyes and threw himself against Hijikata. They fell to the ground and wrestled against each other with bound limbs, grunting and moaning, for a second lost to the real world. Their commotion stirred Zenzou's corpse awake and it rose its torso up slowly, awkwardly, its arms following with unnatural delay. It wasn't trembling and twitching anymore. A grating murmur came from its open mouth in a futile attempt at breathing. Its movements were jerky and its head followed the rustling sounds of Gintoki and Hijikata on the floor. It moved in their direction and tried to stand but without one leg it had no balance so it fell to the side onto the stump where Zenzou's left leg had once carried him forward.
The sound of his fall startled Gintoki and Hijikata. They broke apart and the growls and dragging feet outside rearranged their symphony and drew nearer to the room. Hijikata cursed and Gintoki mouthed something along the lines of "I fucking told'ya."
"Shut up!"
There was little to fight over as Zenzou's undead body crawled in their direction. It left a trail of dark blood as it pulled its dead weight across the hardwood floorboards, the stitches in its stump open and gushing. It edged forward, hungry, impervious to the pain, lips curling over its teeth as the smell of fresh blood became clearer and clearer.
Gintoki was flailing by then, desperate to lose his gag. He groaned louder and louder and Hijikata gave in as their backs hit the wall behind them. He leaned over Gintoki and returned the favor, angling his head so their noses touched and he was able to pull down the gag over Gintoki's mouth with his teeth. He could taste Gintoki's bloody spittle as soon as he did it for Gintoki did not waste time yelling at him.
"You fucking piece of shit, asshole! Can't you see I-"
"Shut up, you fucking idiot. There's more of them outside. You want the entire horde to come in here?!"
"Not really our concern so long as we got Mr. Stumpy here on our tail!" Gintoki retorted as quietly as he could, "Now please get the fuck over here so I can get Kagura's knife out of your pocket, you dumbass!"
"What?"
"I saw her slipping it in when we were talking earlier. She's sentimental like that."
Zenzou was two feet away from them. Gintoki kicked the rotter's grabby fingers and wiggled in the other direction while Hijikata recovered from his stupor.
He remembered Kagura's hand enclosed in his, small and soft. She had clung to him in panic, but she had also conferred him a protection of her own. He could not let her down. A plan began to form in Hijikata's mind as he watched Zenzou's corpse crawl on the floor after Gintoki, hampered by its stump. Hijikata writhed closer to it and tumbled on top of it pinning it to the floor. He dug his elbows deep into the tender spot under its shoulder blades, but he quickly found a flaw to his plan, namely the strength of the undead, untethered to the physical limitations of the living who could not break bones or crack their joints at will for the unbearable pain doing so brought. Hijikata could feel Zenzou's bones pop, his limbs slip from under him, but his sacrifice wasn't in vain. Gintoki grasped Hijikata's plan and pounced on top of him, doubling the weight over Zenzou's body.
"You fucker, what are you doing?!" Hijikata panted out of breath.
"Getting that knife, you idiot." Gintoki huffed. His hands found the pocket of Hijikata's pants where Kagura had snuck her butterfly knife and he pulled it out after a dose of shameful groping. The knife opened like a deck of cards in his hand but cutting the rope around his wrists proved much harder.
"I can't do it like this," Gintoki said, "We have to let him go. Can't you distract him for a while?"
"With what, my life!?" Hijikata burst out.
"Something like that."
"You fucking bastard!"
"On three." Gintoki said. He counted aloud and on three they both got off Zenzou's back, hurtling themselves as far away from the gargling corpse as possible.
Hijikata landed ineptly on his side, pressing into the contusion one of the Sweepers had left on his abdomen. He bit his teeth, bearing the pain, and heaved up, looking for Gintoki. He kept him in his line of sight as he tried to keep Zenzou's attention on himself, kicking the floors and calling to him. Zenzou's beady eyes finally showed between his bangs. Unfocused and lifeless, thin red lines shot over the whites. Hijikata couldn't help but recall Zenzou's painful words to him. Somber and grave. A premonition.
Because out of all the people here you're the one with the least to lose.
Hijikata stilled and his carelessness was enough to render him vulnerable. Zenzou's hands found his calf and latched on with an iron grip. Hijikata couldn't shake him off. Dead hands crept up his legs thwarting his kicks. He heard Zenzou's teeth clack, a horrible sound which penetrated his brain and made his own teeth ache inside his gums. Hijikata tried to shake him off but drops of sweat fell over his eye and he panicked half blind, bucking up his hips and pulling himself back with his elbows. His knees hit Zenzou's jaw as he thrashed his body around and he looked down for a second desperate for respite. He saw red. The deep cut across Zenzou's throat dyed everything the color of blood. It rained down across Hijikata's legs as Gintoki grabbed Zenzou's reanimated body by his hair and yanked him away. He threw him on the floor beside Hijikata and kneeled on top of him before digging the tip of Kagura's butterfly knife into his left eye, deep into his brain.
Hijikata watched, riveted, as Zenzou's undead body ceased fidgeting then stopped moving, finally at peace.
Gintoki, however, didn't make much of his deed. He exhaled, tried to pull back the knife unsuccessfully from Zenzou's eye socket, then gave up against the body-suction seizing the blade in place.
"Did he get you?" he asked, sitting back.
"No," Hijikata replied, "But I could kill you right now."
"Can't you wait until we're outta here?"
"You asshole, what took you so long?!"
Gintoki sighed, clutching his wrists.
"Well, you try it next time."
"You want to take a look outside? Next time is just around the corner."
"Fuck…" Gintoki dropped his head exhausted, "Where's the walkie?"
"She took it when they knocked us, idiot. They took our weapons, my gun…" Hijikata trailed away unable to finish. A sudden intake of air surprised him, abrupt, misplaced. A kind of snort. He realized it had come from Gintoki when he looked over at Zenzou's body and found it unchanged. He turned to the body beside him, one much warmer and nearer. A smile played on Gintoki's lips as he undid the binds around Hijikata's feet. His boots were gone.
"That's not the only thing they took." Gintoki pointed out, hands lingering above Hijikata's worn out socks.
Hijikata was speechless. He brought his knees to his chest in disbelief. The increasing growls of the horde outside didn't allow him to vent much, yet Gintoki's smile anchored him and their banter kept him calm, sure that they would get out of this predicament, boots or no boots. Hijikata looked at Gintoki's feet, wondering if he had been looted too, but the remnants of Gintoki's boots were still very much attached to his feet, patched up with adhesive tape so the soles didn't fall off. Hijikata had never noticed their state before.
"No wonder they didn't take yours." he said.
"Well, Hattori-kun here looks your size but he only has one foot left."
Hijikata saw the way Gintoki bit the inside of his cheek to hold back a laugh. The situation was ridiculous. Zenzou's death hung over their heads, but Hijikata couldn't help but laugh as well. His mouth opened before he knew it and he cackled. He had no idea he could laugh that hard. He tried to stifle it, to cover his mouth because of the noise, but his wrists were still tied behind his back. The howls racked his rib-cage unrelentingly, flaring the spots where the Sweepers had pummeled him, but he couldn't stop.
Gintoki stared at him amazed. He didn't know if he had ever seen Hijikata smile before, much less laugh. He tried not to think of it as he untied Hijikata's hands and went to search Zenzou's body for a knife, a weapon, a clue as to their next step. But the rotters outside were agitated. They had started to bang on the walls of the shrine looking for a way inside.
"Hijikata, shut up. We have to go."
Hijikata could barely move. He was a shivering mass on the floor, cackling maniacally into his arm.
"Asshole, you're gonna get us both killed." Gintoki whispered outraged. He shook Hijikata's shoulder to try and make him aware of the situation they were in, but the laughter was contagious. Maybe something else too. Gintoki had to catch his breath as Hijikata's laughter subsided and he looked at him red faced, lips still drawn into a dazzling, though apologetic, smile; blue eyes clear and full of life, a picture that completed the version Gintoki nursed in secret and refused to yield to except in dreams. His body acted before he could command it. He bridged the gap between their lips and sucked the air from Hijikata's mouth like his life depended on it. And it did. Silencing Hijikata drew the line between life and death and Gintoki was determined to live, even if Hijikata might kill him later.
Hijikata gasped stunned. His breath blew hot against Gintoki's face and Gintoki felt the tip of his tongue graze his lower lip. He met it instinctively and his attempt to silence Hijikata turned into something messy, the fulfillment of a selfish desire whose ghost had haunted Gintoki moments before when he had decided to rip off Hijikata's gag with his teeth. Maybe Hijikata's lips had been calling for his all that time. What else could it be? Another dream? His mouth didn't taste like blood anymore and the retreating footsteps of the rotters outside sounded like cries of victory to his ears. Gintoki opened his eyes and Hijikata's lashes fluttered open against his cheeks.
They had stopped for air an inch from each other. The smile had been wiped from Hijikata's face and another expression had taken root there which Gintoki couldn't figure out. He couldn't gauge it. He didn't want to. He scrapped the whole thing off. So did Hijikata. Two strong hands pushed against Gintoki's chest and he reeled back.
"I think the coast is clear now," Gintoki said, spitting out a clump of saliva and blood, "We should try leaving through the Sanctuary gate. There might be some tracks we could follow."
Hijikata wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up.
"The coast is everything but clear," he sneered, "And what about him?" he gestured towards Zenzou's dead body.
"There's nothing we can do for him."
"She's gonna kill you."
"Who?"
"Kagura. That was her favorite knife."