Heaven Knows Everyone Is Miserable Now
Chapter 21: Belated Taste of Victory
The house and the road that led to it seemed smaller than Hijikata remembered, the streets around the area narrower, the overgrown trees thinner, the bushes dry and brownish, like life had seeped from the place in the wake of Hijikata and Gintoki's departure.
No matter how hard Hijikata dug into his memories, all he remembered were lush greens and the striking view of Jirocho and Pirako's house dwindling in the rearview mirror while the Subaru drove away under faint daylight, and his tongue prickled with the taste of the cigarette Gintoki had shoved in his mouth.
Hijikata's present reality, however, discarded those embellished memories in the same crude manner the journey back to Jirocho and Pirako's had done with Kitaoji by his side, sat in the Toyota's passenger seat with the same composure required of what Kitaoji so effortlessly embodied: the harbinger of a thoroughly sobering experience which had sharpened Hijikata's senses to an unbearable degree. With each new breath, each new step, it was as if Hijikata was pulled harder towards the ground and forced to buckle under the increasing weight of his burdens, his sins—the weight of his shame.
Hijikata and Kitaoji exited the car, and Kitaoji followed Hijikata's footprints across the muddy footpath towards the front door of the old house. Overhead, the sky looked the same as it had the day Hijikata had left, though the sunlight shone drab around their surroundings now. The walls of the neighboring houses looked grayer and the clouds, undecided yet about the rain, did not stifle nor threaten the world beneath them. They hung mercilessly above Hijikata and Kitaoji's heads without a definite color or shape, forming a concrete ceiling, unmovable and irrevocable, just like Hijikata's choices.
Hijikata stopped in his tracks as the front door opened a sliver, just enough for a soft voice to reach them.
"Stop where you are."
The enthusiasm that used to pervade Pirako's voice was gone. She sounded older than Hijikata had known her. Tired, grim. Only her accent and inimitable cadence gave her away.
"Mitts where I can see'em."
Hijikata swallowed the shuddering breath threatening to climb up his throat.
"It's me, Hijikata. Hijikata Toshiro. We've found the medicine-"
"Who is he?" Pirako's harsh tone cut Hijikata's explanation short, showing no emotion at his announcement or his voice, "Where is the silver-haired freak?"
"He had to stay behind. It's a long story," Hijikata answered, hoping a prompt reply would set Pirako more at ease, show her that there was nothing to worry about, "I'll tell you all about it, just let us through so we can help your father."
The door closed for a moment before Pirako opened it again and stepped into view. Her trademark pigtail fell loose among her bangs. Black circles stretched under her eyes, but, as Hijikata approached her, he saw a spark return to them.
"He stays there." Pirako said, pointing her blade towards Kitaoji.
"I think I'd prefer to keep him where I can see him." Hijikata told her.
Pirako nodded before her eyes filled with tears and she threw her arms around Hijikata's waist, tough facade crumbling.
"Hijikata-san!" she buried her face in his jacket and cried out, "What took you so long?!"
Pirako's cry of relief was over by the time she ushered Hijikata into Jirocho's room. A thin curtain filtered the light coming in from the window by the cot where Jirocho lay with his eyes closed, presumably asleep.
Sickness had ravaged him. His once tan skin had acquired the pallor of death. Dark blotches marred his skin, as well as the folds of his wrinkles. Bones protruded under the flimsy fabric of his shirt. It was clear the infection was not the only thing Jirocho's body fought, but hunger too.
"Can he speak?" Hijikata asked in a whisper.
"Just a little," Pirako said, reaching for a wet cloth to wipe Jirocho's sweaty forehead, "Sometimes only a few words a day, sometimes he just nods or gives me that evil look he does that means no, but sometimes it's a definite no, like he will get real angry with me if I go against his wishes. I tried to give his hair a trim the other day, but he looked at me like he could control his sword with his mind so I didn't-"
Hijikata interrupted her with a polite request.
"Could you bring us some water? For Jirocho-san too."
Pirako put down her cloth and sprang up, sparing a glance at Kitaoji who stood quietly by the door.
"Yeah, of course," she said, mustering a smile, "Back in a jiffy!"
She climbed down the stairs to fetch water from the kitchen, but Hijikata soon heard her curse and bang the empty water jug they usually kept on top of the kitchen counter.
Kitaoji sighed.
"So these are the people you deem worthy of saving? A dying old man and a… weird teenage girl?"
Hijikata scoffed. He looked over his shoulder at Kitaoji and counted himself lucky that Pirako's trip to the well to retrieve a fresh bucket of water would give him time to steer Kitaoji in the right direction. Pirako's introduction had already left a mark on the man. If that mark was one of mediocrity, so much the better. Gaining Kitaoji's trust was crucial to speed things along. Hijikata had to make sure Pirako and Jirocho looked meek enough not to be feared, but also strong allies to have on the side of Kitaoji's community.
"Sorry to crush your dreams of an evil army." Hijikata said.
"Yes, I see I'm the one at fault here." Kitaoji said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall.
"She's a bit of a chatterbox, but she's a good kid."
"I bet he appreciates it," Kitaoji said, nodding towards Jirocho, "The way he looks, silence would finish him off."
"He's tough," Hijikata said, "If this world didn't break him, I don't expect an infected wound will do the trick."
"Stranger things have happened," Kitaoji said, fixing his gaze on Jirocho's white hair, "How did you meet?"
"They saved my life."
"So you're repaying the favor, uh? How noble. I hope you got him the right meds."
Hijikata pulled out from his bag the stash of meds he and Gintoki had salvaged from Nabari and shook his head as he lined them next to Jirocho's cot.
"I wouldn't start counting my blessings yet," he said, "If it all goes well and the old man recovers, we might as well be going up against an army."
Kitaoji's voice gave a hint of alarm.
"What do you mean?"
Hijikata took a deep breath and stood up. Below, on the first floor, the door to the garden outside slid shut. Pirako had returned with a new bucket of water to boil.
"It means I'm going to need your help," Hijikata said, facing Kitaoji, "To convince the old man to leave this place with his daughter. I'll warn you now, defeating a horde of rotters might be easier."
Bright light basked the interior of the shed before engulfing the place in darkness once again. Gintoki didn't bother opening his eyes until he heard the tense breathing of his visitors by the wooden beams of his cage.
A young man with long dark hair stood in front of Toujou with a sword by their hip and a black eye-patch over their left eye concealing what was left of a pained, grave expression. Toujou's deferential stance behind the shorter figure gave up Kyuubei's identity right away. Gintoki had retained enough from Sarutobi's brief summary of the place to figure out the estate's leader had finally decided to grace him with a visit.
"Wanted to congratulate you about the place, but I haven't had the guided tour yet." Gintoki said, opening one eyelid to test the waters.
Toujou took the bait at once.
"Silence, beast!"
"Oi, does he really have to be here?" Gintoki whined, "He tires me out."
"His name is Ayumu Toujou," Kyuubei said, voice firm, "He's my second in command. I'm Yagyuu Kyuubei, Master of the Yagyuu estate, which is where you are currently being held in."
"And you'll address them as such, vile creature!"
Gintoki was too hungry and tired to argue the flustered sycophant. He nodded quietly and straightened up against the wall as Kyuubei kneeled before the wooden beams.
"Toujou, some light, please."
"Yes, Young Master."
At Kyuubei's order, Toujou hastened to light a few candles and place them about the room so the small area keeping Gintoki from the world could be seen. His countenance became as clear to his visitors as theirs to Gintoki, though Gintoki was too familiar with darkness to let the confines of the shed overwhelm him. He welcomed the warmth of the candlelight more than the clarity it provided. What brightness he needed, he'd already obtained it. Hearing Kagura and Shinpachi's voices the previous day had given him solace unlike any other. The hardships of forced captivity were nothing compared to the relief of knowing the two kids were alive and safe. Thus, Gintoki was ready to play the long game, no matter what it took. No matter how many days without food or water. He would withstand it all. He had done it before. Alone and in more gruesome circumstances than he found himself in now. A tiny weight tucked under his shirt was a sure reminder of that.
"Wanted to take a good look at the big bad wolf, did ya'?" Gintoki said, voice hoarse from little use.
"I wanted you to see me," Kyuubei replied, serene, "And yes, to check whether our captive matched the description several people have given me. Male. Tall. Silver hair, almost white. Wearing a priest garb under his cloak."
"Oi, three out of four ain't bad," Gintoki drawled, "The priest robes are missing, but I could have chucked them on the way here."
"If you think humor will keep you from the noose, you're in for a surprise, freak!" Toujou spat at Gintoki's quip.
Gintoki tutted and shook his head.
"I wouldn't recommend a noose just now. I could still do a lot of damage with my dead brain intact."
"Silence!"
"So you believe you are still… alive?" Kyuubei said, pausing for a stunned breath, "Even after being bit?"
Gintoki raised his head to look Kyuubei in the eye, then shrugged and turned away.
"Haven't been bit yet. You can check if you like."
"You don't believe in immunity?"
The question was an odd segue after the implied notion Gintoki was a rotter with a conscience. A corpse-eater in Jirocho's words.
Gintoki frowned before turning towards Kyuubei again and trying to piece the logic behind their question.
"Do you?" Gintoki wondered, "Is that why you haven't killed me yet? You want to experiment on me? I doubt you have the means to do that. I might be starving, but you don't look much better. Also, you've been keeping Kagura here for what- a month? Food must be scarce."
Toujou burst out again as expected.
"What insolence! Just like that infernal girl!"
"I see where she gets it from," Kyuubei said with a faint smile, "In any case, at the moment there isn't enough proof to confirm whether you are what the people fear, and fear is the one thing I cannot let run rampant inside these walls."
"So I'm doomed either way," Gintoki sighed, "Can I at least see them? Kagura and Shinpachi?"
"Of course not," Toujou exclaimed, "You are a prisoner, get that into your thick head!"
Kyuubei acquiesced, much to Gintoki's chagrin. Their silence hid plots Gintoki couldn't figure out. Nevertheless, and despite the uncertainty of it all, there were lines of kindness etched onto Kyuubei's face which betrayed their true feelings. Gintoki shuddered.
"You think I'd hurt them?" he asked Kyuubei, "Are you protecting them from me?"
Kyuubei took a deep breath before answering.
"If you really are the Crow, yes," Kyuubei declared, "If not, I realize what we are doing to you is unspeakably cruel, but this place hasn't survived thus far by us leaving things to chance."
"Fair enough," Gintoki reasoned, "I guess trusting the words of a stranger that resembles the local abomination kinda counts as chance."
"I'm glad you agree. I didn't expect you to be so reasonable."
"So long as you keep me fed," Gintoki said in jest, raising his hands, "I could also do without these binds."
Kyuubei grimaced.
"We're still building trust-"
"Building trust?" Toujou shrieked, appalled at the mere possibility, "You can't be serious, Young Master! This freak could turn rabid at any moment! How can we trust him?!"
Kyuubei lifted a hand to stop Toujou's rant. Their eyes never left Gintoki.
"There might be hope for you yet once Kitaoji returns," Kyuubei said, standing up, "Until then, I'll have someone bring you one meal a day. There will be no contact with other people. You'll be safe inside this shed away from sight, and so will my people. Do not try to escape. Right now, your imprisonment is the only way I have at my disposal to keep you alive. I will have no other choice but to kill you if you go against my orders."
Gintoki sighed.
"The woes of leadership. You remind me of someone."
"Stay quiet and the guards won't have to gag you again."
"I'm sure he'll love to meet you."
"I mean it."
Gintoki nodded and leaned back against the wall, wishing he could wrap his fingers over the ring nestled inside his shirt.
"What are they playing at?!" Kagura muttered into her spoonful of gruel.
"Shh, they're staring at us." Shinpachi hissed, sitting opposite her at the small kitchen table.
A couple of women walked by the kitchen door and peered at them with scowls on their faces. Since Kagura's spectacle by the shed the previous day, Kagura, Shinpachi and Sarutobi's connection to the imprisoned man had become common knowledge around the estate, launching a new kind of interaction with its inhabitants. Where once a nod and a smile had been met with equal courtesy, now a simple greeting got a scowl in return—sometimes a full tirade—as if Kagura, Shinpachi and Sarutobi were responsible for the abominable plight of the entire world.
"Ignore them," Sarutobi said, sat next to Shinpachi, "This misunderstanding will be cleared up as soon as that damned four-glasses comes back."
"O-oi, S-Sarutobi-san," Shinpachi cleared his throat and pushed his wonky glasses up his nose, "W-we wear them too, you know?"
"Kitaoji will wear them in a brand-new place when I get my hands on him," Sarutobi grumbled, stabbing her bowl of gruel with her spoon.
Shinpachi forced a sympathetic laugh at his failed attempt to lighten the mood.
"Do you think they'll put him on trial?" Sarutobi's question was directed at Nobume's quiet figure beside Kagura.
After a moment of silence, Nobume spoke.
"Some communities settle these matters by trial. I do not think this is one of them."
Sarutobi sighed.
"Neither do I…"
"So, what's the plan, then?" Kagura asked, elbows on the table, "I say we steal their precious pet monkey, cut its head off and give it to Eye-Patch Lord. Tell 'em we will sew the monkey's head back on after they release Gin-chan. See how they like that!"
The whole table recoiled. Sarutobi stopped chewing her gruel, Shinpachi's hand froze midair long enough for the gruel in his spoon to plop back into his bowl, and Nobume's eyes widened enough for her irises to display two perfect circles.
"W-what did you say?" Sarutobi gasped.
"Kagura-chan, what the hell are you spouting out now? Are you feeling well?"
Nobume was silent, staring a hole into Kagura's skull.
"I said the monkey-!"
Before Kagura could explain herself, a fifth figure entered the kitchen. Nobume quickly pinched Kagura's side, deliberately derailing the rest of her sentence.
"Ow! What was that for!?"
"Lint." Nobume replied.
"Lint? What lint? I've been wearing these clothes for five days straight?!"
"I guess being banished to the kitchens to have your meals didn't make you lose your spirit, uh?" the old woman who had walked in observed.
She walked past the table with a bemused smile on her face and made for the pot of gruel on top of the old cooking stove. Shinpachi had put the fire out after heating up their meal. Only embers remained now, burning to ashes and conferring the room a little warmth.
"We don't mind the banishment as much as the shitty gruel." Sarutobi replied snappish.
"We make do with what we've got." the old woman said, lifting the lid off the pot. She eyed the contents inside and nodded with satisfaction after a quick whiff.
"Pretty sure they aren't having gruel for breakfast, lunch and dinner at the dinning hall." Sarutobi rambled on.
The old woman was unperturbed. She shook off the snide comments without a hitch.
"Presumptuous of you to think most of us get three meals a day. But yes, I suppose Lady Otaki is very shrewd," she replied, "Nasty habit of overdoing what she is told to do."
"Not sure shrewd's the word for it." Sarutobi muttered between gritted teeth.
The old lady picked up a clean bowl and helped herself to a serving of gruel.
Kagura stared at her and swallowed her last spoonful with a frown.
"Oi Old Lady, it's really not that good, you know? I mean, if you're hungry I can- oh wait, is it your teeth?" her voice adopted a condescending tone, much like Gintoki's did when he was out to make somebody miserable, "Dentures can't handle the good food anymore?"
Sarutobi and Nobume dropped their heads with a sigh. Shinpachi paled.
"You brat!"
"I'm so sorry, Otose-san!" Shinpachi intervened, desperate to appease the old lady who had helped him and Kagura many times before with their laundry and kitchen chores, "We're pretty bummed out and saying things we don't mean, right?" he kicked Kagura's shin under the table, who then nodded to please him.
"I know what she meant," Otose said with a growl, "And I understand you, Shinpachi. If you must know, I've been tasked to deliver a daily meal to your friend in the shed."
"You what!?" Kagura and Shinpachi exclaimed in unison.
"Maybe Master Yagyuu isn't as evil as you thought, uh?" Otose said, picking up a tray and a cloth to cover the bowl of gruel, "You're sharing the same meal as your friend. Thoughtful kind of punishment, isn't it? I believe Master Yagyuu isn't completely without humor."
Sarutobi huffed.
"Punishment is still punishment, and we haven't done anything wrong."
"I leave judgement to those in charge," Otose replied tactfully, "Seems to me Master Yagyuu didn't find your friend so awful not to let him eat."
Sarutobi scrunched her nose as she unearthed the implication behind Otose's words. Her pulse picked up as she connected the dots.
"Kyuubei has seen him?"
Otose nodded, ignoring the casual speech.
"Yes, earlier. Lady Otaki sent for me after their meeting."
Sarutobi remained silent, staring ahead into nothing. Anger pooled at the bottom of her stomach, mixing in with the anxiety she had dutifully kept from taking over for the past couple of days. Shinpachi's sentimental plea barely reached her ears. Sarutobi heard it from afar, too busy planning her next move.
"Well, if it's not a big imposition, could you please tell Gin-san we will fight for him?" Shinpachi said.
Otose's hard features softened into something akin to a smile.
"How about I send him your love?"
Shinpachi blushed and smiled, a real smile which Kagura outdid with misty eyes.
"Yes, thank you!" Shinpachi exclaimed.
Otose nodded and left with the tray of gruel.
In her absence, Sarutobi's silence filled the room, clashing with Shinpachi and Kagura's emotional state. Shinpachi was the first to notice it.
"Sarutobi-san?"
All eyes focused on her as she stood up, chair scraping against the floor.
"Where are you going?" Kagura asked.
"I'm on toilet duty today." Sarutobi said, palms flat on the table beside her empty bowl of gruel.
"And that's a reason to rush, is it?" Kagura scoffed.
Sarutobi ignored the jab, taking her bowl to the washing basin and giving it a quick rinse.
"I'll see you later."
Kagura was shaking her head beside a nonchalant Nobume when Sarutobi walked out, head too filled with thoughts of murder and mayhem to pay Shinpachi's words any mind.
"So, Kagura, what was all that about a monkey?"
Sarutobi prowled the estate corridors like a hunter, evading the small groups of guards shifting posts and the few choice-women under Lady Otaki's thumb who were always ready to fill the old woman's ears with gossip, and, most of all, she listened for the whereabouts of Toujou, looking for a hole in his busy schedule when he was sure to be as far away from Kyuubei as possible. It took longer than Sarutobi expected to find it, but she was patient. The days and hours she had spent up in that mountain making the most of her kills and setting enough traps to keep her and Zenzou's tracks hidden from the Sweepers had taught her not to let exasperation ruin her plans. She would settle matters with Kyuubei once and for all. Today.
First the Biwa exchange, now Gintoki's imprisonment. How dare Kyuubei keep Sarutobi out of the loop again? The big lord of the manor had the first and the last word always. No matter how much Sarutobi begged or played along, no matter how much she wanted to believe Kyuubei's words, they always betrayed her in the end, relying on pretty words to lure Sarutobi in without rebuttals and welcoming no opinions.
It was the estate first, everything else second. Kyuubei had bargained for Sarutobi's fealty with a walled solace, a cot to sleep at night and a bowl of measly gruel to stave off the hunger. The bare minimum disguised as kindness. But now Sarutobi's mind was made. Their conversation the day before had been the last time Sarutobi put her trust at Kyuubei's disposal.
The time for begging was past.
Not too far from Kyuubei's room, Sarutobi ambushed the presumptuous master of the estate, picking them by the back of their collar and shoving them into a blind corner where the eyes of the guards could not reach them.
Sarutobi's voice came out of her in a hiss. Her fingers dug into the folds of Kyuubei's collar, staving off the urge to strangle them.
"Did he look guilty enough for you?"
Kyuubei's expression eased as their eyes fell on Sarutobi. Her name came out in a whisper.
"Sarutobi…"
Sarutobi's control slipped in the face of Kyuubei's passivity. Kyuubei didn't flinch. Instead, they eyed Sarutobi with that mellow understanding Sarutobi loathed.
"Sending another one of your lackeys to fetch Gin-san prison food? The same paste you're dishing out to us? The old woman thought it was funny." Sarutobi spat.
Kyuubei took a deep breath, clasping Sarutobi's wrists and following Sarutobi's reasoning with the fortitude of a schoolmarm.
"And you don't."
Sarutobi tightened her grip. Teeth gritted.
"What does it look like?"
"Unhand me." Kyuubei's mouth formed a thin line.
"Scared?" Sarutobi taunted, dropping one hand to the hilt of Kyuubei's sword, "Without your precious little goons around? I could kill you right now and send this whole place to hell."
Kyuubei looked down and shook their head.
"Not this again."
The indifference stung. Sarutobi pressed closer, nudging one of Kyuubei's feet with her boot, spreading their legs and towering over them. She pulled an inch of Kyuubei's sword out of its scabbard and leaned over Kyuubei's ear.
"You think I won't?"
Kyuubei's breaths were loud. Sarutobi thought she heard Kyuubei's heart race. Their voice was small.
"No."
"You think you have all this power over us, over me?" Sarutobi said, "How do you think it will go when everybody here learns what a big liar you are—!"
Sarutobi's attempt at blackmail fell apart when she pulled away from Kyuubei's ear and watched Kyuubei's gaze lower towards her mouth. Kyuubei's own lips were slightly parted, withholding a breath. It wasn't until then that Sarutobi became keenly aware of the position they were in, close together, chests touching.
The blush across Kyuubei's cheeks found a mirror in Sarutobi's.
"You-!" Sarutobi gasped and stepped back.
Kyuubei averted their gaze and pressed back against the wall, palms splayed against its rugged surface.
"I'm sorry."
The apology hit Sarutobi as unexpectedly as Kyuubei's sudden guarded desire. She stuttered. Words reached her mouth half formed from the havoc of thoughts storming her mind. Perhaps Sarutobi had watched too many dramas back in the day, gone through too many flippant breakups to excuse a calorie-binge or a crazy night-out with her friends, that her intuition went a singular way, right to the heart of the matter, piercing through layers of feeling Sarutobi had not allowed herself to acknowledge in the aftermath of Zenzou's death and the brief, pointless flirtation with the man currently being held prisoner.
Sarutobi stared at Kyuubei's blushing face. The frown of embarrassment she caught there spurred her on.
"Is this why you're keeping Gin-san captive?" Sarutobi asked, heart hammering, "You're jealous?"
"No! Of course not!" Kyuubei exclaimed, hands curling into fists, "What do you think I am, a petulant child?!"
"You're acting like one right now!"
Kyuubei shook their head and adjusted the strap of their sword around their waist.
"I'm sorry, I- I didn't-"
"Let's forget about this," Sarutobi said, glasses fogging, desperate to reclaim her fruitful anger, "I can't even look at you right now."
The comment snapped Kyuubei back into place. Kyuubei raised their head to look into Sarutobi's eyes steadfastly, without a trace of the pink hue of infatuation.
"I swear, that is not why," Kyuubei insisted, "Locking your friend in that shed is the only way I have to keep him safe, and the kids, and you! You don't think I know what it means to set him free?" Kyuubei's voice faltered before continuing, "I'm pretty certain you don't. You can't see past your little group. That's all you care about. I have to care for everybody in here equally."
Sarutobi sneered.
"The benevolent king."
Kyuubei nodded with a deep exhale.
"Yes!"
"Then you shouldn't have lied." Sarutobi said. A smile crept up her lips, but she held it back, saving the ecstasy of victory for later. She had found her way in. The little puppet string she had been grasping for in the dark.
Taking advantage of her height, Sarutobi took one step forward and traced one finger over Kyuubei's eyepatch.
Kyuubei's mouth opened and closed. Their shoulders hunched with another deep breath.
"If this is about the bite-"
Sarutobi placed her finger over Kyuubei's lips to stop them from talking. What followed felt inevitable. Effortless. Sarutobi tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear before bridging the small distance between them.
"You shouldn't have lied to me."
Kyuubei didn't protest.
Eyes half-lidded, Sarutobi watched as Kyuubei leaned forward to meet her lips in a chaste kiss that quickly deepened, their mutual frustrations finding an outlet in a scramble of hands and lips that only ended in the privacy of Kyuubei's room, clothes off and scattered on the floor, and Sarutobi finally, finally winning for once.