You guys dont undertand the panic I had when writing this chapter . (You'll see why in the end). We are a really close to tend of this story and I'm so nervous about getting it right.

DonutDreams28: Thanks for your constant support! I really appreciate your reviews!

Chapter 39

My darling love,

By now, you have must have cursed me a thousand times over. I understand, however, I must persist that for now this is the best course of action. Your safety is paramount to me and I cannot risk anything happening to you. I will be sleeping in the kings chambers until the danger has passed. You could easily become a target at any point, especially if they incorrectly believe you are carrying the future heir. I cannot allow any danger to come to you.

Forever yours

Newt.

I crumpled Newts letter before throwing it into the fire. He could have pledged himself to me a million times over; the letter would still find itself in the embers.

Tears of indignation had constantly burned at my eyes but I kept them at bay. I would not give him the satisfaction of making me cry.

Newt had gone insane. Thinking he could protect me by locking me in. The poison made it in with the servants, who was to say they couldn't do it again?

I had paced, circled, sat and inspected every corner of the room. They had brought in lunch; I ate it all out of boredom.

With Newts letter, he had added an expensive looking necklace. I sent it back with the dirty dishes.

At first I could not believe what the guard had told me, after some bartering and berating, I realized my fate was sealed.

I had begged them to let me see Newt but they out right refused.

There was not much to do in the confinement of new prison cell.

I was too angry to sleep and too distracted to read.

So I ended up laying on the floor, starting at the pattern of golden flowers on the ceiling.

That's how the long forgotten General Gally found me.

I heard the door slightly jiggle and figured it was the usual afternoon tea. It wasn't until he appeared above me, a look of annoyed disinterest on his face.

"Your majesty, your husband has put me in charge of your personal safety. You are to be allowed a morning walk and an evening walk. Agnes will be allowed to visit you for two hours each day, and you can have a visitor of your choosing. His majesty said you both agreed to a coming of age ball this Saturday, you will be allowed to attend but will be expected to return promptly and under my guard."

I stared at Gally, unimpressed "And how long may I ask am I to be confined?"

"Until it is no longer deemed that there is a threat."

I rolled my eyes and sat up. "I will get out of here whether the king likes it or not."

Gally looked at me with a deadpan expression "I can guarantee you that will not happen. I have been tasked with your safety and that means I control all of your comings and goings, now if you want your evening walk, I recommend you stand now. I have cleared the gardens for at least an hour."

As much as I wanted to throw a tantrum, I was not going to give up the opportunity to scrape outside if even for an hour.

It was not very enjoyable walk; two guards in front and two guards behind encased me.

Newt hat lost his mind, he had completely gone insane. I had not one semblance of idea what I would say to him. But he would have to pay for this. I was not a child. It stung deeply how he had sweetened me up the night before, and now he treated me like a treasonous prisoner. I pushed the emotion away, I would only begin to cry. And I would rather die than have General Gally see me bawl my eyes out over my treacherous husband.

Dear Roan,

I know you are unhappy with me, but I promise that this is what must be done in order to protect you. I know you have asked to see me but at the moment I do not think that would bode well. I will not change my mind and you will only become angrier with me. I do not wish to cause you anymore grief, which is why I will ask for your forgiveness in advance. I look forward to seeing you this Saturday.

Love,

Newt.

I tore the letter to shreds. It had come with some roses. I had cut the petals to shreds and put them in an envelope and told the guards I had an important message for Newt.

If I was to be confined for all eternity, I would not be going to any stupid ball. Newt was even crazier then I thought, if he believed I would accompany him after what he had done.

The hurt had turned to an all-enveloping resentment that kept me from sleep until the early hours of the morning. Not that it mattered, it's not like I had anywhere to go.

I had picked Minho as my first visitor, despite our initial hatred he had been my one true ally in the end. He refused to come for tea but agreed to accompany me in my morning walk.

"You have to convince Newt to let me out. I am more useful to the cause unconfined." I said, as we strolled.

Minho had picked up an acorn he was tossing in the air.

He looked at me and rolled his eyes "Look Roan, when I first heard of his plan, I told him…no I pleaded that it was a terrible idea but he's not the same you know? Its like after the poisoning, there is an edge there, he is more serious, he doesn't smile as much, I don't know how to talk to him anymore."

I sighed and kicked the gravel. "Well I applaud your attempts but I think we should try harder, there must be a way to get him to see reason."

"Now do not punch me for what I am about to say but was there any progress on the heir business?"

My shoulders slumped in embarrassment "It was close but then he locked me up. I don't understand why he agreed and then literally put me away."

Minho shrugged "He's not thinking straight, he's obsessed with securing the throne. I wouldn't be surprised if he paid you a visit soon to get it over with.

I glared at Minho "Newts insane if he thinks I'm letting him close after this, it's going to take a lot more than pretty words and roses to get me to forgive him."

Minho stopped in his tracks "Well to be fair how many times did Newt forgive you when you lost your marbles? Give him a break; it has only been ten days since the assassination attempt. He will return with time."

Dear Roan,

I was told of how the necklace I sent ended up in the kitchens and I received the roses or rather what was left of them. I know your angry but please know that I am making progress and soon all will be as it should. I miss you and cant wait to dance with you this Saturday.

Love,

Newt

Agnes was embroidering with me when I received Newts letter. She gasped when I ripped the letter in half.

"Miss, I know this isn't ideal but what are we to do? At least you are allowed some company."

Agnes had brought the embroidery, I had always been bad at it but with my limited past times the last three days, I could see some improvement.

"It's insulting is what it is. I understand he is scared but I can't stand it Agnes, all I do is sit and stare at walls. I fear I am on the verge of losing my mind."

"The court believes you are ill, I doubt after Saturday the king will be able to keep you here much longer. I wrote to your mother and should be hearing back from her but we can both guess that what she will say."

We definitely could.

"Oh yes 'Have heirs Roan, a Queens real power begins when she is able to produce heirs' I cant do that very well if I am locked behind bars."

Agnes stared at me with wide eyes; I had forgotten she hated lewd jokes.

"Sorry Agnes, I shouldn't have said that."

"Its all right your majesty, I do have some news, I am not supposed to tell you but I could not resist."

I sat up from my slump and leaned forward. Finally! Something interesting.

"Councilor Ava was able to repeal Lord Benjamin's marriage with Isabelle. Many claim that the lord was relieved, I also heard and this is the part I really shouldn't say…but his majesty has imprisoned one of the doctors that tended to him. A boy from the kitchens was also taken in for questioning. I hope once they get to the bottom of it all, the king will finally return to normal."

I slumped back in my chair…..a doctor…..why a doctor?

The thought kept me occupied long enough that day, that I didn't completely lose my mind when Gally decided to shorten my evening walk.

There was gardeners preparing the flowerbeds for Saturday and I was not to be seen by absolutely anyone.

It hadn't occurred to me until that moment, that I could potentially out run the guards on the evening shift. They were older and clunked about with their armor and swords. A couple quick twists through the flower beds and they would get bogged down.

Newt would be having his evening tea with his mother before dinner. That would be the perfect opportunity; he never missed tea with his mother.

That night I spent it zigzagging through the gardens in my mind. It would be a challenge but I refused to be cooped up any longer. If I wanted to retain any sanity, it would have to be tomorrow.

I anxiously waited all morning and hardly embroidered with Agnes, there would be no point after today. I would be free.

I made sure to lace my boots tightly and pin my hair tightly in to place. I could not have any obstructions. I had been wearing my simple dresses from back home in my confinement. They would do perfect for a chase through the palace.

I took deep breaths in preparation; I had learned that a long time ago when I raced Thomas, that breathing was the real key to running.

I waited patiently for my moment, the muddier it got, the better, the guards would not be able to keep up.

I stopped in my tracks and stomped my foot.

"Well drats! I've dropped my wedding ring somewhere around here!"

I had left it back in the room.

"Could you gentlemen please help me look for it?" I asked sweetly.

The guards grumbled but relented. As they bent their heads to look in the grass, I began to slink away, slowly but surely. However the guards were not dumb, when one lifted his head to see exactly what I was doing, I took off.

I could hear their shouts and the clanking of their metal armor; they were hot on my heels. I had never been more thankful for Thomas's competiveness.

The garden beds were mushy where there were no plants. I raced past a group of gardeners who yelled in disgust as I stepped on their hard work. They only became angrier when the guards trampled their seedlings.

I almost wanted to let out a cackle as I ran but I knew I had to preserve my breath. All was going well, until my foot snagged an uprooted tree. I tumbled, the fabric of my dress ripping. I stood up quickly ignoring the sting of my knee and the burning of my elbow and shoulder. I was too close to give up now.

My fall had given the guards some respite. If they caught me now…

I pumped my legs harder, they had started to burn slightly but I pushed down the pain. My freedom was so close.

The kitchen door loomed ever so closely, all I would have to do is clear the stone railing that encased the kitchens laundry. I picked up speed and launched myself. My foot firmly planted itself on the ledge, I did not have a graceful landing but I pushed up and onwards.

In passing, I realized the lunacy of it all but I couldn't bear to be in that room again.

Once in the kitchens losing the guards was not that difficult, I still struggled with the castles layout but I managed to make it through. I finally slowed down to catch my breath.

I felt tears sting my eyes from the effort, it was if the run had released all the pent up emotions. I leaned against the wall of some random hall and finally allowed myself some respite.

Silent tears dripped from my eyes as I tried to catch my breath. Once I was somewhat composed, I pushed off the wall I had been wailing on headed for the source of all my distress.

I paused in front of the door. I could hear their muffled voices. Antonietta seemed annoyed while Newt prattled on evenly.

It would only be a matter of time before they alerted Newt of my escape. I steeled myself. I needed to be intimidating.

Shakily but determined I opened the door.

Antonietta was the first one to see me.

She ceremoniously slapped a hand to her chest before holding another one towards Newt.

"I cannot be privy to this. I warned you this would not end well." Antonietta headed for the door where I was glued.

She took me by the shoulders "My dear girl, I can guarantee you I will not allow this to happen again. If I had known sooner, I would have intervened."

Antonietta was never nice to me. I must have looked horrid from my run in the gardens.

I felt like I had when Mother told me I was to marry Newt. All the same emotions began to dance up from where I had buried them.

I didn't want to talk to Newt, or even look at him but Minho's words had been planted in my head.

Newt is not himself, give him time.

I closed the door behind Antonietta.

Newt stood from where he had sat, he was nervous. His hands were shaking.

"You're bleeding."

I could feel my lip tremble and my eyes burn. Incensed, I turned away from Newt. I crossed my arms tightly around my body.

I would not cry.

I closed my eyes tightly, willing the tears away. I felt Newt grab on to my shoulder pulling it slightly. I pulled away from his grip.

"Roan will you at least look at me."

I shook my head. The knot in my throat was begining to hurt from the desire to cry.

Newt slipped a hand around my waist and pulled me close to him.

I felt his breath on my ear. "I am sorry. I just wanted to keep you safe"

That had done me in. The tears cascaded like a torrent. I threw my head back and let out a breath of desperation. My body ached for some sort of comfort.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, my eyes squeezed shut.

"I thought that was the way to keep you safe. I was scared they would try to come after you too."

"Newt, if they really wanted to kill me they would. Why would you lock me up like that?" I asked, wiping my eyes.

"Forgive me, I thought I was protecting you." Newt said, clutching to the sides of my ripped dress.

I finally allowed myself to turn and look at him. His face was scrunched in desperation.

"Promise me you will never do that again."

"I promise"

I refused to go back to our rooms. I had Alby re open the room I had stayed when I first arrived. The pink walls were a refreshing sight.

I finally had a chance to look in a mirror. My dress had ripped in all sorts of places. My elbow had bled a little and leaves were caught up in my hair from when I fell. I would have laughed, had my body not been so tired. My knee had a scrape but nothing I would not survive.

Agnes and Sonya were quiet as they bathed me and dressed me for bed. I was too emotionally exhausted to go to dinner with everyone else. Thomas stopped by briefly for a chat; he hadn't done that in a long time. Hopefully, he had finally forgiven me.

He chirped on about how he had led the interrogations of the palace staff. I asked about Teresa but he simply shrugged.

I laid up in the bed I had not seen in months, it was more comfortable than I recalled. I did however spend a lot of time hating everything on the same bed my first weeks in Britannica.

Newt had asked if he could join me. A part of me wanted to turn him away but I reminded myself the fear he felt was clouding his judgement.

He slipped in bed quietly. He had changed from his dinner clothes silently and quickly as if scared, he would startle me.

I decided to press my cold feet against his. Newt jolted slightly before turning his head towards me, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Is that my punishment love?" He asked, scooting closer to me.

I shook my head "No, I haven't formulated that yet."

"Well I'll be ready and deserving of it."

I examined Newt. His skin color had returned and despite a few eye bags, he was mostly back to normal.

"Newt turn off all the candles."

Newts shoulders slumped a little. He thought I meant it was time to sleep but I had other intentions.

Once we were in total darkness, I pulled closer to him.

"I want it to happen tonight. I want us to…I want it to be tonight."

"Are you sure? Even after what I did…"

"Yes, but only if you want to."

I needed to keep a business mindset, otherwise I had no idea how I would respond.

"Its not a matter of wanting to…it's a matter of being ready. I want you to stop me if you do not want to anymore. I know you Roan, you don't have to push through it, it won't be any good, let alone enjoyable."

I took a deep breath, analyzing any sort of trepidation I might have had.

"Well, you need to take the lead; I don't know the details of how it all works. Only the highlights."

Newt hesitated. "If I sense you get tense, I will stop."

"Agreed. Now how does it start?'

Newt let out a loud laugh "What do you mean how does it start?"

I shoved him lightly "I mean I am a virgin; you can't possibly expect me to know what to do here."

"Well usually it starts with kissing and then you know the clothes come off and you know…other things."

Newt could not know I was nervous, it would derail him, but in all reality, I would never not be nervous at the prospect of it all.

"Well then kiss me."

Newt laughed one more time "Roan this is not usually how it goes."

"Then show me how it goes Newt. I'm telling you I'm ready."

"We will see about that soon enough and if I'm wrong…well… I wont mind at all."

I felt Newts hand reach and began to climb up my leg as he spoke. "It's a process Roan. You have to ease in to it," Newt brought his lips to my neck. "Rushing about will only ruin all the fun, and all the fun is in the build up."

I gasped when Newt finally pulled me under him. He captured my mouth in a kiss, his tongue probing against it. The steel-headed attitude I began with quickly dissipated as my body began to long for more. I gripped his hair as he kissed me, my entire being begging to feel him closer.

I whined when he pulled away.

"If this comes off, you'll be okay?"

Newt tugged at my nightgown. There would be no going back after this.

I feared my voice would betray me so I pulled the last barrier between Newt and me off and over my head. Newt took it and flung it off the bed. The night air bit coldly against my bare skin and I moved to shield myself better under Newt.

The friction caused Newt to pull back with a groan. "Don't do that yet, to soon."

I couldn't help the smirk that overtook me.

I tugged at Newts shirt, eager to continue what we had started.

When it was off, Newt pressed down for a kiss again. When our bare chests touched, I felt my body began to pulsate deep with pleasure.

I did not recall the specifics after that. Newt lost the self-restraint he had so valiantly been upholding shortly after his shirt came off. I caved in with him and completely gave him all and every ounce of control I had. My body had become so moldable at Newts touch that it did not take long before the waves of desire hit me. I lay panting and melting against the sheets. Unbelieving, what had just happened.