AN: To rastrauf32 and RaidouXXV, you're both kind of right. I might touch more on this (and other writing decisions) after Katabasis is complete, but Orpheus transforming into Bragi was a decision made in part on the various similarities their real life mythological counterparts had. Such as them being renowned poets (a bard in Orpheus' case, a skald in Bragi's), their knowledge of magic, and their rather ambiguous genealogies. In some tales Orpheus' father is Oeagrus, a human king of Thrace, and in others his father is Apollo. In that same vein, in some tales Bragi is a deified human, while in others he's Odin's son.
Thursday, July 9, 2009, 6:12PM
Iwatodai Dorms
"Yeah, yeah, yeah...I-yes, I know, you told me that already." Makoto said as he walked downstairs. "No, I'm not doing anything on Monday. Because, that's why. Do I sound like I care you idiot?" Makoto rolled his eyes. "Go get hit by a truck." He flipped his phone shut.
Junpei choked on his drink. Fuuka gasped. Kotone started laughing.
"Geez." Yukari's eyebrows went sky-high. "What was that about?"
Makoto rolled his eyes again. "My dumbass cousins." He sat down between Fuuka and Junpei.
"Aw come on, they can't be that bad." Kotone said with a shit-eating grin.
Makoto sighed as he placed his books on the dinner table. "I can't deal with their idiocy and study at the same time. I'm only human."
"Maaaan." Junpei leaned his head back. "It feels like we just had midterms. And we barely had a friggin' minute to rest after all that full moon crap. I don't wanna do finals too."
"Wah, wah, wah." Junpei glared at Yukari. "We all have to do it, so quit whining." She said sharply.
"Oh, you're lecturing people about whining?" He shot back.
She slammed her hand on the table. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I think you know!" He yelled.
"S-So Makoto-kun." Fuuka asked quietly as the two began to quarrel. "How do you think you'll do on finals?"
"I'll probably be number one again." He said casually.
Kotone scowled from across the table. "Yeah you would say that." She mumbled.
"Yes, yes I would." Kotone stuck her tongue out at him. Makoto chuckled. "How about you Fuuka?"
"I think I'll do fairly well." She said. "My grades are usually pretty good."
"You could always hack the school and change your grades if they aren't." Makoto offered.
Fuuka giggled. "Oh stop that, I couldn't. That's illegal and immoral."
"I won't look, I promise."
Kotone rolled her eyes as Fuuka giggled again. "Alright, enough fooling around, all of you." She announced. "We got finals Tuesday and a lot of ground to cover. I have not been particularly diligent in studying, so I know the rest of you probably haven't been either. But if anyone gets less than a fifty, I'm personally throwing you down the stairs!"
The other three all immediately turned to Junpei. "H-Hey! Don't look at me like that!"
She cracked open a book and slammed it on the table. "Let's do this."
After several (grueling, if at least one person's account was to be believed) hours of studying, everyone had split up and gone to their rooms, promising to meet up for one more session over the weekend. Makoto unwilling to show weakness, was the last to retreat to the safety of his abode. With his incense burner filling his room with the calming scent of chamomile, however, he found himself unwinding and slowly drifting to sleep...
...until the ravenous sounds and writhing torment of his own stomach jolted him awake.
"Damn it." Makoto reached under his bed, hoping to find a spare bag of snacks he had left there by accident. "Damn it." As he stood up and walked to the door, he briefly wondered if he could send Bragi all the way there in his stead. Nah, it's probably too far. And it's not even the Dark Hour yet. "Damn it."
Quietly leaving his room, Makoto went downstairs to see if he could scavenge something, anything, edible from the kitchen. Preferable something that was premade and not already claimed by someone else in the dorm. It wasn't a pleasant thought, but if he had to steal Sanada's stash of ramen...
Thoughts of hypothetical ramen theft were abated as he reached the bottom floor and saw the TV still on, illuminating the common area. As he walked over to turn it off, he found a very tired looking Kotone sitting on the couch, curled up into a ball, chin resting on her knees as her tired, narrowed eyes mindlessly stared at the screen.
"You're still up?" Makoto asked.
Kotone shrugged, skin an unearthly tone with the limited lighting. "Not sleepy yet." She stood so still she seemed almost catatonic.
Makoto jumped over the couch and sat across from her. "You alright? You seem a little...out of it."
She shrugged again. "Just tired is all."
"...uh huh." Makoto mumbled out. "If it's about dinner tomorrow, I really don't mind splitting it." He offered. "Honest."
Kotone rolled her eyes and snorted. "It's not about that you dummy." She said as the light came back in her eyes.
Makoto chuckled. "Then what's up?"
"It's just, you know, been thinking about stuff. Like in general." She said vaguely.
The only sounds in the room were the faint voices coming from the TV behind him. The seconds ticked by as realization ploddingly crept into his half-conscious brain. "Is it about Koromaru?" Makoto eventually asked.
She hugged her legs tighter and looked away. "It's not just that." Kotone mumbled out. "I- he- it's just not fair, you know?" She hesitantly looked to Makoto, and he quietly beckoned her to continue. "Koro-chan, he just wanted to protect his home. To protect the place his owner cared for. He had something he really cared about And he, he died because of it." Her voice cracked. "He died protecting us. He died doing the right thing."
"He was a brave little guy." Makoto said quietly.
"It's not fair." She mumbled out.
"Yeah." Makoto scratched the back of his neck. "I don't have any real insights aside from...well, bad things just sometimes happen." She looked at him, tears at the corners of her eyes. "Sometimes, you have to take the beating life gives you and keep walking. I know that sounds cruel, but..."
She wiped her eyes and sniffled. "That sucks." She said petulantly.
"It does." He said quietly. "Is there anything else that's been on your mind?"
Her face quickly became sullen, before she fumbled with the remote, shutting off the TV. They were illuminated only with the faint light that poured in from outside. "You remember why I said I joined SEES?" She asked, now obscured in near pitch-darkness.
"Yeah." Makoto tilted his head back, unsure of where this was going. "You said that, you wanted to do something to help people, right? Like being a real life superhero?"
Makoto could hear her warm, soft laughter, even if he couldn't see her face. "Yeah. I did. But that's- it's not the only reason." He could hear her shift in place. "I just...wanted to be useful. To have something to call my own. When Mitsuru-senpai invited me into SEES and explained everything about Shadows and Personas and the Dark Hour, it, it all clicked together you know? Like this was my destiny, it was why I was sent here. Even when I was just starting out and learning stuff and scared to fight, I-I felt so happy to be part of something like this. I had a reason to live."
Her words made the hairs on the edge of his skin stand up. It wasn't just what she said, but the hurried, almost desperate and panicked way she said it in this dark room.
"I got to teach Yukari, and you, and Junpei, and Fuuka. I had my own place in this world. But now, with all these new members, with all these new threats, with how much more...capable you guys are. It feels like me and the seniors are being left in the dust, you know?" She chuckled, flagrantly hollow and insincere. "Like I'm not even needed."
Makoto gulped. "That's not true. If it wasn't for Kirijo and Sanada, I'd probably be dead. Yukari and Fuuka told me me how hard you guys all fought against Chariot. If even one of you weren't there..."
He heard her sniffle. Slowly, he could make out more of her features. "I'm jealous of you when you're like that."
"...huh?"
"You always manage to stay so cool under pressure. Mitsuru-senpai told about how you," she closed her eyes and shook, "about how you got stabbed in the stomach and got right back up. You push through bad days and find the time to care about how other people are feeling. I-I wish I was more like you sometimes."
Silence filled the room, before Makoto's quiet, slow chuckles erupted into hysterical laughter.
"H-Hey!" She indignantly yelled. "What're you laughing at! I-I'm being sincere you jerk!"
"Sorry." Makoto wiped away his tears, a big smile on his face. "Sorry, it's just that's the last thing I thought you were going to say."
"Yeah, yeah," she muttered, "yuck it up. Meanie."
"You know I thought the same thing about you when I joined SEES." He could see her swing her head back towards him, eyes wide. "When you saved me and Yukari that night in April, I thought you were the coolest person ever. You were like a guardian angel."
"S-Stop that." She muttered, a smile on her lips.
He chuckled. "I really do mean it. Everyone likes you, relies on you, you're smart, you're dependable, you're charismatic, and you know how to fight. You're the kind of person I aspire to be like. Before I joined SEES, I wasn't even sure if I was going to join. I wanted answers, but I didn't know if I was willing to commit to this." He confessed. "I really didn't, but you're the one that convinced me in the end."
A long, much more comfortable silence returned. Even though Makoto was still tired and hungry, he felt freer. The despondent aura that had encircled grasped Kotone had seemingly vanished.
"Hey, um, when you said you wanted answers, do you mean about the explosion?" She asked cautiously. "The one that killed Yukari's dad and...?"
"Yeah. At first, I just wanted answers." Makoto said bluntly. "That was the only reason I even considered joining. To find out what happened ten years ago and why. I wanted to know more than anything. That's still a goal of mine, but it's not my only reason." He squirmed in his seat. "I've grown to like this place. I like the city, I like the school, I like...you guys. I want to protect it if I can."
"That's pretty selfless of you." She mumbled. "More selfless than me."
He shrugged. "Not really. Actions matter more than intentions. If you're saving people's lives, from Shadows or whatever, it matters more that you're doing it than why. Besides, I don't know if I'd care as much if it weren't for all those things. I can't imagine giving my life for people I don't know or care about."
"What?" She said, tone much more cheeky and Kotone-ish. "You mean you're not the bravest and most heroic guy who ever lived?"
Makoto snorted. "I'm not even that in this dorm."
She burst out laughing, and so did he.
"Hey Makoto," she said as she got up, "thanks. Sorry for dumping all this on you. I didn't want to make everyone depressed earlier, but..."
"Of course." Makoto smiled as he followed her to the stairs. "You remember what I said back at the shrine?"
She giggled. "I do, yeah." She took walked up a few steps and looked back, meeting him eye to eye. "The same goes for me, OK? If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm your gal."
Makoto nodded. "Of course. I'm going to get something to eat before I go to bed. Do you...?" She shook her head. "Take care."
As he turned to leave, he heard her call out to him. "Hey Makoto." He turned, red eyes radiating with warmth, and her face not too far away from the same shade "I li...I like talking with you." She said with a somber smile. "Let's hang out more often, just the two of us."
He returned her smile. "Absolutely."
AN: You have no clue how much I wanted to name this chapter "Confessions", but I figured that would be just a little too mean.