Chapter 10
A few days later, a girl showed up at the station looking for Ike. She wanted to thank him for helping her and her father solve a problem with a gambler.
Ike, happy to see her again, invited her to the dance that would be held a few days later.
Emily, that was the girl's name, had just moved to Rock Creek and Ike offered to help her fix up the house while her father was out of town buying a mule.
When Buck had learned that Ike wanted to go to her before the dance, he had tried to dissuade him, telling him to go easy because he had never had too much luck with women. Cody had teased him about how he handled the situation and obviously Ike hadn't listened to him.
Diana had witnessed the scene and when she saw Buck disconsolate, she said to him: "Darling, you have to let him go. I understand that you want to protect him, but he has the right to try to be happy and he likes Emily a lot. After all, you also helped me settle into my house when I arrived in Sweetwater…"
Buck pulled her to him and said: "I know, but I was extremely lucky to have found you and there are few women like you around, I don't want to see Ike suffer"
"Ike has to have his own experiences, if you don't let your heart guide you in love it means you're not really in love"
Buck nodded but his worry didn't go away.
Ike helped Emily and the relationship between the two of them became closer. Unfortunately, that night, the girl suffered a bad joke from Nevill, the gambler who Ike had kicked out a few days earlier. Nevill set fire to Emily's barn and the next day Ike found her trying to rebuild what she could. He offered to help her, but she chased him away rudely. This didn't discourage Ike who on the night of the dance, after everyone had gone out, still showed up at Emily's house to take her to the party. She, almost in disbelief, accepted and the two surprised everyone when they entered the room.
Diana and Rachel immediately went to introduce themselves and Buck gave Ike an affectionate pat on the shoulder and also apologized for his words. The two hugged.
Buck and Diana lost sight of Ike and Emily throughout the evening, as they danced and made love, isolating themselves from everything and everyone. Every moment was good for exchanging cuddles and caresses, they couldn't get enough of each other.
Suddenly a shot was heard coming from the saloon and when they ran out, they saw that Nevill had killed Emily's father. Buck rushed to look for Ike and the girl and found them in the barn where the two had just been together. When they came out, Ike was still half undressed but he ran with Emily to the man.
The girl was devastated and while Teaspoon tried to reconstruct what happened also thanks to a witness who confirmed that it had been self-defense (Emily's father had aimed the gun first but it had jammed and Nevill had returned fire), Ike, Buck and Diana drove Emily home.
After demonstrating their closeness to her, Buck and Diana returned home while Ike stayed with her all night.
He returned the next morning and knocked on Buck and Diana's door.
"Come in Ike, we just had breakfast, do you want to eat something?" asked Diana who welcomed him at the door.
He nodded no and she made him sit in the living room. Buck joined them immediately.
Sorry if I rushed here to you, but I don't want to talk to others
"Ike, you are and will always be welcome in this house, you are mine, or rather our, brother", Buck told him, giving him a friendly squeeze on the shoulder.
Ike told them that Emily didn't want him in her life and he didn't know how to help her.
Buck decided to go talk to her.
When Ike returned to the bunkhouse he said to Diana: "Honey, I'm going to see Emily, I want to try to talk to her."
"Do you want me to go? Maybe among women we understand each other better"
"No thanks my love, I want to do it in person, I owe it to Ike"
Diana nodded.
Buck went to Emily but, as soon as he entered, he almost regretted having done so. Then the girl sat him down and he told her about Ike and their friendship and Emily finally thanked him.
The next day they celebrated her father's funeral and then Emily took her leave, saying that she had to settle something before leaving.
Shortly after, at the bunkhouse where they were all gathered, Cody entered saying he had just seen Emily heading to the saloon. Ike immediately understood her intentions and rushed to the club like a fury, just in time to see Emily point a gun at Nevill. He stepped in the middle and received the bullet intended for the girl full in the chest. Ike's shot only grazed the man but Ike fell to the ground unconscious just as Buck arrived and was terrified to see his friend covered in blood. Kid rushed to call the doctor, while Teaspoon arrested Nevill, knowing that he couldn't hold him for long because again it was self-defense: Emily had pointed the gun at him first.
Ike was taken to the doctor's office which left little hope. When the doctor said they could come in to see him one at a time, Buck went in first and came out shocked. He told Emily that Ike wanted to see her, then headed for the barn. Noah tried to stop him but it was no use. Diana ran after him and said: "Buck, talk to me, open up to me, I'm here on purpose"
"I can't Diana, it hurts too much now, I have to go, leave me alone please, I'll come back to you soon" and headed out to the prairie with memories of Ike. He created a sacred circle and prayed until he felt that his brother was gone. He collapsed in pain.
Emily had been in the studio for a while now and Teaspoon became suspicious. He went in and a few moments later came out to call them. They all entered in silence to say a final farewell to their friend and brother before Jimmy covered his face with the sheet.
Everyone felt a sense of coldness and bewilderment and no one was able to utter a word.
They left Emily with Ike and returned to the station. Buck didn't return and Rachel and Lou reached Diana at home who was deeply distressed.
"I wasn't able to help him, I feel like a failure as a wife and partner. He felt the need to be alone", she said.
"Darling, Buck felt Ike like a brother, they shared so many emotions and suffering together and it's natural that he feels empty. You will see that he will lean on you when he returns, you are his support"
"I hope it's as you say Rachel, I don't know what to do to help him"
Rachel hugged her tightly.
Towards evening Buck returned, but instead of going home, he went to the prison where Teaspoon was releasing Nevill, for fear that one of the boys would seek revenge. He had ordered him to leave the city immediately as he could not guarantee his safety.
Nevill didn't have time to follow Teaspoon's advice because as soon as he set foot outside the prison, he found Buck pointing a gun at him in front of him.
Nevill tried to taunt him that he wouldn't have the nerve to pull the trigger, but Buck did exactly what Nevill didn't think was possible. Two shots hit him square in the chest, right where he had caught Ike. He fell to the ground lifeless before Buck's cold gaze.
Everyone ran up to the shot, Teaspoon first who bitterly reproached Buck for his action but then quickly asked if anyone had seen anything. The only person present also denied having witnessed the scene, so Teaspoon was able to avoid arresting Buck.
When Diana arrived, she found him still holding the gun. She approached him and couldn't say anything except his name: "Buck….!"
He looked at her with a blank look that scared her to death. Diana took the gun from his hand, hugged him and told him: "Let's go home"
Buck leaned on his wife and let her take him home without saying a word.
When they entered, they sat down in the living room and she looked him straight in the eyes and said: "Buck, talk to me please, open up to me."
He said nothing for a moment, then his eyes filled with tears and he told her: "I am a murderer, I am no longer worthy of you, but I had to do it"
She hugged him tightly and held him in her arms. Buck didn't move at first, but then he melted into the embrace of his wife who whispered in his ear: "It's okay, darling, I love you, you must never forget it. I love everything about you and accept everything you are and everything you do. Don't say you're not worthy of me because you killed Nevill, I would have done it in your place. Cry darling, vent, I'm here for you"
Buck sobbed without restraint in Diana's arms, then pulled away, looked at her and said: "I don't deserve you"
"Buck, we are one, what you feel I feel too, although naturally in a different way. Let's be strong together and don't stop living. Do it for me but above all do it for Ike who wouldn't want to see you abandoned to yourself"
He looked at her and caressed her cheek, then said: "Let's go to Ike, we have to say goodbye to him"
They went to the others and then went to recover their friend's body. Buck chose a place on the prairie and raised his funeral pyre, as his people did. In front of his friends and Emily, he said his prayers, took his bandana, and then set the fire.
Everyone silently gave him their final farewell, aware that their family would never be the same without Ike.
When they returned home, they went to bed and Diana held Buck in her arms all night, cuddling him and assuring him that everything would be okay.
Emily left the next morning.
The following days were very hard for Buck, he ate little and was always sad and melancholy. Diana tried to be close to him as much as she could and he often took refuge in her arms to cry. She realized she had to do something and had an idea that she told Teaspoon about. One day, leaving the news office, she went to him and said: "Teaspoon, I was thinking of bringing forward our journey to Red Bear. I think Buck needs to find himself and he can't do that here."
" I think you're right Diana. Do you know where his camp is?"
"No, but I'll talk to Buck about it."
"I will also try to ask some of my Indian friends"
Diana thanked him and went home. In the evening, after dinner, while they sat on the sofa in silence, Diana proposed to Buck: "Darling, I've been thinking about something, but I want to talk about it with you"
"I listen to you"
"I think it's time to go to your brother's camp. I know we had decided to go in the spring, but what happened to Ike has completely destabilized you and you need your brother's help and to rediscover your spirituality. Teaspoon has offered to find out where his camp is if you don't know."
"Diana, I don't know if this is the case, it was supposed to be our honeymoon and now I'm not in a position to…"
Diana put a finger on his lips and replied: "I don't care about the honeymoon now, I want you to regain your serenity. I know you can never forget Ike, none of us will, but your life goes on, you didn't die with him. You need to regain confidence in life and I believe that only your Kiowa traditions can help you"
"I haven't been an exemplary husband these days, have I? I am sorry"
"Buck, we have joined together in joy and sorrow and now it's time to keep the promises we made. Joy will return, but you have a journey to face. Listen to me"
"Maybe you're right. I know vaguely where Red Bear's camp is but with Teaspoon's information we will be calmer. When were you thinking of leaving?"
"As soon as Teaspoon gives us an answer. Tomorrow I will notify Rowen of my absence"
Buck pulled her close and kissed her. That night Buck wanted to make love to his wife and while he was in her arms, he cried like a baby. She cuddled him and held him close all night.
Teaspoon quickly got the information, and within two days Buck and Diana were on their way.
When they came near the camp, two warriors met them and Buck identified himself as the chief's brother. He had to hand over his knife and gun and they were accompanied to Red Bear's tepee.
One of the warriors entered the tent to inform him and the Indian chief came out soon after.
"Little brother, what a surprise, what brings you to us!" and went to hug him as Buck got out of the wagon.
"How nice to see you again brother, I have so many things to tell you" and for the first time in days Diana saw a smile on Buck's face which made her convince her even more that that trip would help him heal his internal wounds.
Red Bear noticed Diana's presence on the cart and asked curiously: "And who is that beautiful girl?"
"Brother, meet my wife Diana, we are recently married"
Buck helped her get out and the girl went to hug her brother-in-law who was amazed by such an affectionate gesture.
"What a joy to meet you Red Bear, I am honored to meet you"
"The honor is mine, my brother's wife is welcome in my camp. Come, enter my tent so we can talk. How long will you stay?"
"As long as it takes", Diana replied.
"Necessary for what?" asked Red Bear.
"Buck will explain it to you now…"
They entered the tepee and Buck told his brother his whole life from the last time they had seen each other to that moment. He spent a lot of time describing the wonderful moments spent with Diana and their marriage and reached Ike's death. Diana had to intervene to help Buck who was unable to move forward and when she had finished the story she said: "We came here both to visit you as planned, but also because Buck needs to find himself and I believe that only here with you he can to do it"
"Brother, you must be proud of the woman you married, not many white women would agree to spend time in an Indian camp for the sake of their husband"
"I know she is a wonderful woman and I also know that I don't deserve her, but the Great Spirit has given me this immense fortune. I want to be worthy of her, brother, but to return to the man I was I need you"
Red Bear hugged him and told him he would help him.
He had a tepee prepared for them and told the women to cook something special for dinner because they had to celebrate his brother's visit.
"Diana, when Buck has found his soul, we will also celebrate your wedding according to our rite", the Indian chief told her.
"I will be honored"
Buck and Diana put on Kiowa clothing and spent the rest of the day with the tribe. The dinner was much appreciated by Diana and when they entered their tepee, she said to Buck: "Everyone is really kind and welcoming, how can they call you savages?"
Buck smiled as he remembered her statement the first day they met at the river.
"You really are an extraordinary woman, you know? I love you so much"
He took her in his arms and laid her on the hides that served as a bed.
"Buck, you don't have to feel obligated, if you don't feel like it, I understand it"
"My love, we are here to take back our lives and this would also be our honeymoon, so let me do it, being with you can only do me good"
They made love passionately and fell asleep hugging each other. For the first time in a long time, Diana saw that Buck's sleeping face was peaceful and relaxed.
In the following days, Diana spent a long time with the women of the camp and also learned some phrases in the Kiowa language, as well as cooking some dishes and sewing deerskins with beads. Buck went hunting with the warriors and stayed often with his brother. He cut out moments of meditation that helped him recover the serenity he had lost with Ike's death.
After about a week, one evening after they had made love, Buck said to Diana: "Darling, I think it's time for me to go home. Now I'm fine and I've found myself again. I understood that Ike would want me to be happy and that he will always live inside me, he will never leave me. I can never thank you enough for bringing me here. I asked my brother to organize our Kiowa wedding ceremony tomorrow, so that we can leave the next day."
"Are you sure you're ready to go back to everyday life?"
"Yes, I am and then Teaspoon already has two less riders, remember that these days Lou and Kid were supposed to leave for their run together?"
She kissed him tenderly and they fell asleep in each other's arms.
The next day the ceremony was celebrated and there were great celebrations, then Buck and Diana greeted all their new friends and above all Diana thanked the women with whom she had formed a beautiful relationship and then they spent the night loving each other passionately. The next morning, before dawn, they greeted Red Bear who said to them: "I don't promise you that we will see each other again soon because our conditions are precarious and we don't know what the war will have in store for all of us, but you will always be in my thoughts and I hope to to be able to hug my first grandson soon. You will have a large family, the spirits spoke to me"
"Thank you brother for your hospitality and support. I hope your words come true."
"Running Buck Cross, you know that spirits never lie! Sister, I am honored to have you in my family, my brother is a lucky man"
"Thank you for everything Red Bear, I owe you" and they hugged each other affectionately.
On the return trip, Buck truly seemed like the happy man he was before Ike's death and she prayed to God that Buck had truly overcome that dark period.
She thought long and hard about her brother-in-law's prophecy and asked Buck: "Do you really believe Red Bear's words about our large family?"
"Yes, my brother is right, spirits never lie. And then didn't you also want many children?"
"Of course, I'm still convinced of it and hearing that it's in our destiny makes me feel good"
Instinctively Diana touched her belly. When Red Bear told them that he hoped to hug his first grandson soon, she felt something like a jolt. What if….? She would just have to wait until next month.
She smiled at the idea and found herself imagining her future life with Buck chasing a couple of screaming midgets around their yard while she did the laundry. She basked in that vision until they saw Rock Creek appear in the distance.