A/N: This chapter needed a serious makeover. So, I deleted a big chunk of a sex scene that didn't add anything to the story *gasp* and replaced it with dialogue ;)

All mistakes in this chapter (past and present) are mine. My co-writer is completely innocent of any wrongdoing :)

Chapter Four: The Perfect Balance.

"I want everyone to know that you're mine."

He tells me, and I don't know what to say. We stare at each other for a long time; it's a mini-stand-off.

"Christian, wait, let's talk about this."

"Not right now," he growls, and I can't help but think that Kate was right. He's avoiding having this conversation.

"They're here," he says.

He's visibly upset.

"I still want to marry you...but I think we should say we're postponing our engagement."

He shakes his head. "People postpone weddings, not engagements," he says, and I don't have a reply.

I bite my lip and watch him leave.

Was he implying I'm not committed to our relationship? I wonder. How can he possibly think that? I live and breathe for this man.

I finish getting dressed and stand in front of the full-length mirror. On the outside, I look well put together, my outfit impeccable. But, deep inside, I can't deny I'm nervous about what I'm about to do.

Christian's words keep ringing in my head.

Why does he always have to pressure me? And why do I always end up giving in? I can't deny part of me wishes I could go through life without making waves.

But, deep down, I've always wanted to be bolder like the revolutionary Jane Austen, whose astute social commentaries changed the course of English literature.

Gail knocks on my door a few minutes later. I greet her with a smile, and she tells me Mr. Grey wants me to come downstairs.

I tell her I will be there soon. She leaves. I turn to the mirror. The reflection betrays nothing of my inner turmoil. I powder my nose, apply lipstick, and smooth down my dress. The dress I'm wearing is casual and with a sweetheart neckline. I wrap a bronze-colored lightweight scarf around my neck to add a stylish feminine touch.

Later

We gather in the informal dining room with a view of the kitchen. Everything is going well. We're about halfway through our meal when

Elliot excuses himself to answer the phone. Grace shakes her head in disapproval.

"Look at this," squeals Mia as she sets her mobile device sideways on the table, using a flower base to hold it upright at a nice viewing angle. "There's a gossipy piece on the Seattle Nooz website about your engagement," she looks at Christian.

"Already? Grace says in surprise.

Christian frowns.

Mia goes on to read the column out loud. "Word has reached us here at the Nooz that Seattle's most eligible bachelor, the Christian Grey, has finally been snapped up, and wedding bells are in the air. But who is the lucky lady? The Nooz is on the hunt. Bet she's getting one helluva prenup."

Mia giggles. Christian glares at her, and she stops abruptly. Silence descends, and the atmosphere in the dining room plunges to below zero.

I look at Christian. We have an intimate, wordless conversation.

Inwardly, I shake my head. I hate the pressure. Outwardly, I don't move a muscle. It would be all too easy to let things be, to let them think nothing has changed.

"I will never ask Ana to sign a prenup," Christian says.

Everybody continues to stare in our direction expectantly.

I take a deep breath. I feel a bit shaky inside, and I remind myself that this new Ana is NOT a shrinking violet.

"Christian and I have decided to postpone our engagement," I hear myself say in a voice I barely recognize as my own.

Christian frowns.

"Ana..." He makes a low snorting sound. I can see the wheels in his head turning. His displeasure is evident.

He doesn't say a word; contradicting my statement would serve no purpose.

Everyone at the table exchange confused looks. My gaze briefly shifts to Kate, who nods in solidarity.

"Oh, dear," Grace murmurs, her face fraught with disappointment. She's at a loss of words.

"We're thinking we need more time together as a couple before tying the knot," I add, playing with my knotted fingers under the table. "Marriage is a big step; we don't want to rush into it. We decided we needed more time to prepare emotionally and spiritually."

"Yes, of course," Grace readily agrees.

Carrick's questioning gaze shifts between me and Christian. "How much time are we talking about here?"

I bite my lip and meet Christian's gaze. He tilts his head as if to say: go on, answer him.

"A year or two...however long it takes," I say, sounding more confident than I feel.

Mia's expression deflates like a five-year-old at the county fair holding a popped balloon.

"That's a long time if you ask me."

"Mia," Grace admonishes, "you're putting Christian and Ana on the spot. I'm sure they'll let us know when they're ready to move forward."

Everyone erupts into an animated conversation, sharing their views on weddings, marriage, and pre-engagement couples counseling.

"Grace," I say, my gaze shifting between Christian's parents.

Everyone else stops talking.

"You and Carrick have such a great relationship. What is your secret to a happy marriage?"

Grace seems particularly pleased with my question. "That's a question without a simple answer...marriage is complicated." She paused, searching her mind. "Trust, respect, and communication are the foundation. However, a marriage will crumble without love and equality in the relationship."

I nod. I love her answer.

"I agree. The trick is achieving that perfect balance." Carrick says. "We've had our share of problems. Thankfully, the scale has never tipped completely to one side or the other."

"What's best, a perfect balance or an equal balance of power?" Kate asks. I make eye contact with her through the rim of my glass. "There is a difference, isn't there?"

"Yes. Complete equality is a myth, not achievable in practical terms," Carrick says.

"That perfect balance is different for everyone, and it's not an exact 50/50. Every relationship goes through its share of hurdles and struggles. But, I believe those struggles will only help make a relationship stronger as long as both parties are willing to negotiate when there's conflict." Grace concludes, looking into her husband's eyes.

"I believe the big word here is compromise," Carrick says, scooting his chair closer to his wife's and wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Of course, there's no perfect formula." he clarifies. "There's always give and take. I think the tricky part is learning when to compromise."

Elliot chooses this moment to re-appear with a candid, "What did I miss?"

"Nothing much," Christian mumbles.

"Ana and Christian are postponing their engagement, Kate says. She then addresses no one in particular. "Is it truly possible for a marriage to achieve this ideal balance? "I think that in reality, there are times when a compromise is not possible. Unfortunately, the default mode calls for someone to play the dominant role in a relationship."

"Interesting choice of words," Christian mumbles under his breath. We lock eyes, and, for a long moment, I forget we're not alone.

"I don't like the term dominant as it's part of a gender stereotype usually associated with men," I say, surprising myself. Christian gives me a sharp look. He sits there shaking his head, his body turned toward me, and I know he's wondering what has gotten into me. My inner goddess thinks this is a teeny bit of fun.

Mia and I exchange a smile.

"I agree," she says.

"Thankfully, our society is more equally balanced than in times past," Kate says, briefly making eye contact with me. I can tell we lost our previous rapport.

"You mean you don't like the idea of a man carrying a woman over his shoulder, caveman style?" Elliot says to Kate with feigned surprise. "Isn't that every woman's secret desire?"

"Wh-aaat?" Kate shrieked.

Elliot's smirk turns into a wide grin. "My dear, If we're ever stranded on a deserted island...it will be back to basics," He pauses and pounds his chest comically. "Me, Tarzan, and You, Jane."

While Elliot and Kate carry on, Christian's parents excuse themselves, stroll to the kitchen, and ask Gail for some coffee.

I take a moment to think. I steal a look at Christian, who's unusually quiet, keeping his thoughts to himself. I can't deny that my inner goddess loves Christian's domineering ways beyond reason. But there's also an opposing force inside, a female longing for things to be more balanced.

"I hate to break to ya, cowboy, but I'm afraid caveman-style courtships are a thing of the past," Kate tells Elliot with a chuckle.

"Oh, C'mon, Kate. Admit it! More than anything, women long for a caveman in bed."

I look at Kate. My best friend is enjoying Elliot's banter and is doing a poor job hiding it.

I look back at Christian, and for a brief moment, I wish he had Elliot's sense of humor. I feel guilty. My fifty is one of a kind, and it's unfair to compare him to anyone else.

Carrick and Grace later announce they're meeting friends at church this morning. Wow, look at that, look at the time, they wonder. I accompany them to the elevator, and Grace pulls me aside.

"Take all the time you need," she says. She gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. I love this lady; she's the best mother-in-law anyone could ever hope for.

…...

NARRATOR POV

After breakfast at Escala, Grace and Carrick drive to church. They're a few minutes late. Their friends -another couple around their age- spotted them and motioned for them to sit with them in the front. The couple nods and greets them with a smile.

The pastor was in the middle of a sermon about the power of forgiveness.

Looking out into the congregation, he preaches the virtues of not judging others. If they do, God will judge them with the same yardstick. He urges them to forgive so they too, may be forgiven.

Grace shifts in her seat uncomfortably. She resists the pastor's words with every ounce of her being. She could never forgive Elena Lincoln for betraying her trust and molesting her son.

The pastor moves on to make his next point. We must forgive our fellow brothers and sisters for their transgressions seventy times seven.

Grace bites her lip and swallows her frustration. How many times had she overlooked Elena's faults in the name of their friendship? And for what? So she could turn around and stab her in the back?

As if on cue, a glance at her phone revealed several missed calls from Elena's current partner. What could he possibly want from her? She fumes. She was about to put away her device when the first part of the message flashes on the upper part of her screen.

Elena is missing. She's not answering...

How ridiculous! She thinks. She's not stupid to fall for their little drama. And even if it was true and the bitch was missing...why should she give a damn?

…...

That same day.

Taylor POV

Taylor arched his brows at the news. Liam called him with the results of his investigation. Whoa! That was faster than the speed of light.

Elena Lincoln's fingerprints were found inside the elevator and in Christian's study. The two areas with the cleanest/identifiable traces of her fingerprints were a side table and the armrest of a sofa. No other fingerprints were found, except those of the crime scene personnel (AKA security detail). Taylor scratched his head. There had to be an accomplice even if he didn't leave his fingerprints behind.

...

Ana POV

After his family leaves, Christian surprises me by returning to our conversation early this morning. Damn, Kate! She was wrong.

"You said you wanted hearts and flowers. I told you from the start that's not something I do, remember?"

We are sitting together in the entertainment room.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Of course, I remember. I realize it was a rhetorical question, and he's only getting started.

"I gave you the stupid flowers, and yet, here you are...refusing to give me what I want."

I stare at him in astonishment.

"Just want us to take things slow?" I say. "I'm here with you...why can't it be enough...?"

"Because I want you to be in this relationship one hundred percent." He hisses.

We're in a predicament. I never wanted it to come to this. I don't want to fight.

"What if I'm not enough for you?" I say. "What if later on you realize I'm not what you need and want?"

"What?" He stares at me in shock. Where did you get an idea like that?"

I stand, walk over to the counter, and pour myself a cup of water. I drink it all in three gulps.

"Elena..." I begin.

He shakes his head. "Nothing she has to say has any merit."

"She said...and I quote: you have needs that I can't possibly begin to satisfy."

"Hey," he rises from his seat. "Weren't you there when I told her my needs were none of her business?"

"But...what if after we've been together for a while, you start missing those things I cannot give you?"

"I promise that will never happen."

"How can you be sure?" I insist.

"Well, you're gonna have to take my word for it, little missy," he smiles.

"Can I have that promise in writing?"

"I believe that's what we call a marriage certificate."

I smile. That's a good one! I bridge the distance between us, wrap my arms around his neck, and peck his lips. He rewards me by deepening the kiss.

"I hope you realize all Elena wanted to do was drive a wedge between us."

It's my turn to be shocked. He's absolutely right, I realize. I opened the door to the She-Devil and invited her to dinner at our table. And now, she's taken permanent residence in our home. I need to give her an eviction notice ASAP.

"I shouldn't have listened to Elena..." I lament.

I suddenly stumble backward, nearly losing my balance a bit. He holds me steady, and I quickly regain it.

"Are you okay? You barely ate breakfast," he suddenly accuses, throwing me out for a loop.

I can't believe how fast we went from reaching an understanding to this.

"I talked to your doctor, Anastasia." He pauses, and my inner goddess gazes at him in quiet, surprised speculation. Fussing over my eating habits is one of his favorite ways to control me, but now, it seems like he's taking things to a whole new level.

"You've got to take better care of yourself. "You're borderline anemic."

I turn my head and roll my eyes. I think back to Christian's request that I get a complete physical. The request seemed innocent enough, so I agreed. I can't believe Dr. Smith has shared my medical history with Christian.

"I think the key here is the word: 'borderline," I say. "Listen, everything is under control. I'm taking my vitamins every day."

Christian POV

I glance down at my phone. There's a text from Taylor telling me the fingerprints found in my study belonged to Elena. I do my best not to let my surprise show. My focus returns to Ana and the issue we're discussing; it's too important to ignore. I will tell her about Elena later.

"Are you rolling your eyes at me, Anastasia?"

I can't believe she's downplaying this. I had anemia when I was malnourished and living with the crack whore. She doesn't even have any idea what she's talking about. Why can't she see that I'm genuinely worried about her?

Ana marches off to the kitchen as if to prove a point and Gail immediately excuses herself to give us some privacy. Ana sits on a bar stool around the kitchen counter. She pushes a small dish of salted almonds and cashews toward me.

"Your nuts, sir," she says with a straight face.

I sit down across from her.

" I'm nuts about you," I smirk and take an almond. I'm enjoying her little joke. I lick my lips. "Eat up! We're going back to bed."

Yes, I appreciate her sense of humor. However, from now on, I'll be watching her eating habits like a hawk.

"What?"

I stir the dish around and separate a handful of almonds and pistachios from the peanuts and cashews.

"Eat these... they have the most iron."

I watch as Anastasia eats two handfuls of almonds out of the palm of her hand. I serve her a large glass of water." Drink up." She smiles and drains the glass like a good girl.

I lean in. "Come and don't pee," I whisper, and she gasps. "It's not what you think. Trust me."

I hold my hand out to her, and she takes it. She can't resist. And I feel back in control. What happened in the bedroom last night can't happen again. I need to be the one in control.

I take her hand and walk over to the master bedroom. I briefly let go of her hand to pull my t-shirt over my head and toss it onto a chair. I remove the rest of my clothes while she stares. Her face is gorgeous, and her skin is so flawless it glows.

I'm annoyed to realize she's biting her lip. I lift her chin to make her stop. She does. "That's better," I say as I produce a pair of handcuffs. Her eyes widen. We've never used handcuffs before, so she glances nervously from the bed.

I tell her the handcuffs can be quite painful and can bite into her skin if she pulls too hard. I let her feel them and then produce two sets, one for the hands and the other for the feet.

"You were very disobedient," I say. "Hmm...what are we going to do about that?

"Learn to live with it?"

How funny. I chuckle inwardly.

Later, when we're in bed snuggled under the warm covers, she tells me that was the best orgasm she'd ever had.

"I really must behave more often," she adds.

I don't want to ruin the moment by bringing up Elena and my plans to have her arrested for trespassing. I'll save it for tomorrow.

A/N: Quotes from Freed:

Your nuts, Sir.

I'm nuts about you.

Editing this story is taking me a little longer than expected. But, the story is COMPLETE, so I will not leave it unfinished.