Sam looked around him, everything was dark, except there was a tiny light shining far in the distance. He could barely see Lucifer's face, but he didn't need to see it to know that his Dark Angel was furious, the anger permeated from the being next to him.

"Where are we? Why is it so dark in here?" Sam finally asked, breaking the impenetrable silence.

"We are in what used to be your brilliant mind and the darkness, well…I suppose it's because you tried to kill the most valuable thing in my life, and that flickering light, that's fighting so hard to shine, is all that's keeping your body alive," Lucifer answered. He was calm and quiet, but his tone pierced right through Sam's core and he couldn't help but tremble.

"You're angry," Sam whispered.

"I am so past angry that there isn't a word that's been created to define how pissed off I feel," Lucifer said.

"I did the right thing. You shouldn't have brought me back," Sam stated adamantly.

"No Sammy, what you did was quit, you tried to check out on me, on Dean, on Cas, on Bobby on the little planet that needs you so desperately, but I won't let you quit. You will never do anything like this again. I am running low on grace and have to leave you, but when I come back, we are going to have this conversation," Lucifer said and then he was gone, leaving Sam to the darkness.

XOXOXO

"Where's Sam?" Cas asked as Lucifer entered the hotel room.

"He's in his mind. I had to leave him, I was running low on my grace. Can you take Dean to him? I don't want to leave him alone in the darkness," Lucifer said as he collapsed to the ground.

"Yes, I'll take Dean. We can take shifts with Sam," Cas stated.

Lucifer watched him walk over to Dean. Lucifer could tell that Dean was just as angry as he was when he glanced at him. Cas touched his arm and then they were gone.

Lucifer crawled over to Sam's body. It was pathetic, all of his power dwindled to nothing, and all he could manage was to crawl. Perhaps he would feel better once he had contact with his other half.

"Luci, you all out of grace?" Gabriel asked as he reached Sam. He sighed with relief as he took his love's hand. He tried to avoid looking at the wounds on Sam's body, he needed to keep his anger in check, he had to keep his wits about him until his love was out of danger.

"Yep, you?" Lucifer asked as he looked up at his brother. Gabriel looked as exhausted as he felt. A red-headed woman was standing next to him, chanting. Most likely a witch of some kind.

"Almost, but you know me, I always have one trick left," Gabriel said as he snapped his fingers. Lucifer looked around him, the hotel room had been transformed into what looked like a hospital room. Sam was in a bed, machines breathing for him.

"That should keep Sam stable while our grace replenishes," Gabriel explained.

"I'm exhausted, I'm going to go home and sleep, but I'll be back first thing in the morning and we can continue, the red-headed witch said and then she kissed Gabriel.

Lucifer stared at her, she looked so familiar to him, but he couldn't place it. "Do I know you, I'm Lucifer," the Angel said as he held his hand out to the woman.

"We've met in a previous life. You murdered me, snapped my neck, and burned my body," Rowena stated as she walked passed him and out the door.

XOXOXO

"Sammy," Dean called out as he pulled his little brother into a hug. He hugged him tightly and then released him. He punched him as hard as he could.

"I deserved that, but I had my reasons," Sam said.

"Nothing is worth losing you," Cas whispered.

"Not even saving the world?" Sam asked.

"Not even that. If I have to choose between saving you or the world. I'm going to choose you every single time," Dean said.

"I know, but you can't save me, Dean."

"Watch me," Dean growled.

"Dean, I don't want to be saved."

"That's because you're depressed. You're not thinking clearly." Dean stated.

"It wasn't about my depression. Well…It wasn't only about my depression."

"Then why Sam? Is it because you think things would be better off if you had never been born?" Cas asked.

"How did you know that?" Sam asked as he took a step backward. "I said that at Mom and Jess's gravesite. You were there?" Sam accused.

"I was worried about you…"

"So you stalked me?"

"Maybe he wouldn't have to stalk you if you would just come to us when you are in trouble," Dean shouted.

"Oh, that's rich coming from you. Mr. I hate chick flick moments. We don't share our feelings not with each other, not with others, and certainly not with our Angels," Sam retorted. "We are always just fine. It's the way that Dad raised us to be," Sam stated.

"Dad was wrong and so was I. You can't be fine all the time Sam. You can't suffer in silence, claiming to be fine when you're drowning."

"I am fine Dean. I don't need you to save me from myself."

"You're not fine Sam, especially when you have a knife in your heart," Dean stated.

"I'm sorry Dean, but I had my reasons. It was all in the letters."

"What letters?" Cas asked.

"Sam left us with suicide notes as if a lousy goodbye letter is anything that I or anyone else wants," Dean stated sarcastically as he pulled out the stack of letters.

"Dean, I'm sorry," Sam stated.

"Sorry…are you sorry enough to tell us what spell you've cast to keep yourself from being healed?"

"I can't tell you,"

"Maybe it's in the letter then," Dean stated and then he cut into the envelope that had his name on it.

XOXIXO

"I ran into Michael when I was trying to find Sam," Lucifer told Gabriel as his brother sat on Sam's other side.

"How was that?" Gabriel asked as he took Sam's other hand in his.

"Not great, the arrogant bastard refused to help me find Sam until I accused him of cheating and threatened his reputation, and they call me prideful and cruel."

"If the situation was reversed, would you help him?" Gabriel asked.

"I would. I loved Michael once, maybe I still do, but sometimes I wonder why," Lucifer thought out loud.

"Same reason that I love you despite all the evil shit you do, you're still my big brother, the same way Micheal is to both of us," Gabriel stated. "Was Sam in heaven?" Gabriel asked.

"No, he was in the Empty," Lucifer explained.

"The Empty? Why would Sam be there?"

"I don't know, apparently The Empty sensed that Sam's soul was being powered by something else," Lucifer explained. "Do you know why that would be Gabriel?"

"Cas, what are you doing back here?" Gabriel asked, thankful for the distraction, as the Angel appeared back in the room.

"Dean wanted some time alone with his brother," Cas explained.

"How is Sam doing?" Lucifer asked.

"Defiant and convinced that he did the right thing."

Lucifer shook his head as a look of pain crossed his features.

"Did you get him to tell you what spell he used?" Gabriel asked.

"Spell? What spell?" Lucifer asked.

"No, he didn't tell us."

"What Spell?" Lucifer asked again.

"Sam used some kind of spell to make it next to impossible for me to heal him," Gabriel explained.

"WHAT," Lucifer thundered.

"Rowena and I found a workaround, but it's slow-moving at best," Gabriel explained.

"I don't know what to do about that kid. I just don't understand how he doesn't know how amazing he is. How can my other half lack self-confidence when I am egotistical…maybe it's the opposite thing that we have going on," Lucifer stated.

"Sam thinks that everything and everyone would be better off if he had never been born," Cas added.

"How do you know that?"

"I overheard him saying that to Jess and his mom."

"I see and why didn't you do anything about that?" Lucifer asked as the rage inside boiled over.

"I did, at least I tried to. I forged a connection to his mind so I could find out what he was planning," Cas explained further.

"Bravo Cas, you did such an amazing job. You could have told me, but instead, you sat on the information and practically did nothing as my other half self-destructed," Lucifer raged. "If he doesn't pull through then I will spend an eternity torturing you little brother," Lucifer threatened.

"Luci, Cas did all that he could under difficult circumstances," Gabriel stated.

"Of course, you would defend him. I told you to take it easy on Sam. I told you that he was struggling, but you didn't listen and now he's here," Lucifer said coldly.

"Luci…"

"Maybe it's my fault…I kept pressing the kid until he broke. I break everything that I love. Why am I like this?" Lucifer questioned.