Chapter 2: Nuffink's New Life
The sun was much higher in the sky than Nuffink anticipated when he woke up the next morning. He stumbled out of his cottage and over to a nearby creek to bathe. The icy water helped to jolt him awake, and he was careful not to disturb his stitched-up injuries as he cleaned the dried blood off of his face and torso. Once he dressed, he caught and killed one of the chickens that now roamed the island freely, roasted it over the hearth in his cottage, and ate it for breakfast with a pint of mead. While he ate, he thought.
With the only things still alive on the island besides himself being some of the livestock, the wild beasts, and the few crops that hadn't been trampled, there was nothing worth staying on New Berk for. Taking his own life in an attempt to reunite with his loved ones would most likely send him to Helheim rather than Valhalla, so that wasn't an option. In fact, the whole reason he spared one ship from the fleet when he officiated the previous night's funeral was so that he could leave and start a new life elsewhere. His plan was actually to leave the Barbaric Archipelago entirely, because he didn't know how many of the Hooligan Tribe's allies, if any, still existed.
He had a lot of things to do to prepare for this odyssey of his.
The first thing he did was go hunting and fishing. He caught and killed one yak, a brace of rabbits, and several plump salmon. After cleaning them and saving the hides, he cut the meat into strips and hung them on a branch over a fire to smoke.
While his meat and fish smoked, he cleaned out his family's stores of mead, fresh water, and twice-baked bread. The alcohol in the mead could be used to purify the water, and twice-baked bread had a much longer shelf life than fresh bread. He loaded the bread, smoked meat, and drink onto the ship. With only one passenger, the ship was able to hold several months' worth of provisions.
He then gathered up other items that he wanted to take with him as heirlooms to remember his family by.
His father's bow, mead horn, and hunting horn.
His mother's favorite Gronkle Iron battle-axe.
Zephyr's homemade necklace of Terrible Terror teeth, which he put around his neck.
The hand-carved staff his grandmother Valka gave him for his twelfth birthday, shortly before her death.
Finally, he packed his own sword and shield, both of which originally belonged to his grandfather, Stoick the Vast, who'd died several years before he was born. Along with his daggers, pipe, and tobacco pouch. Yes, he and his father both smoked, his father slightly more than him. He also gathered up his blacksmith's tools, cooking utensils, and Fishlegs' special expanded edition of The Book of Dragons.
Night had once again fallen by the time the ship was ready to set sail, so Nuffink spent one more night in the village before he left forever.
...
The morning of his departure, Nuffink hauled the corpses of the Wendel into the deserted buildings. He then set fire to all of the buildings, effectively disposing of the Wendel once and for all. As the village burned, Nuffink prayed that the Wendel's souls would rot in Helheim until the day of Ragnarök. He then boarded his ship and used a long wooden pole to shove off from the dock.
"All-Father Odin, I implore that you grant me safe passage across this vast ocean, so that I may settle a new land in peace and live out the rest of my days," he prayed as he hoisted the sail to catch the wind.
The ship sailed for many days and many nights heading due south, past the borders of the Barbaric Archipelago. To stave off the boredom, Nuffink passed the time by carving figurines out of the branches he'd also brought on board. He'd also crafted a braided leather whip and a better eyepatch out of the yak and rabbit hides he'd saved, using a smaller branch for the handle of the whip. Despite him being at the mercy of Thor, Thor must have been in a merciful mood, as no storms had struck while he was at sea.
Thor only knew how long he had been drifting, but by the time he was out of branches to carve and almost out of food, land was in finally in sight. This coastline had not been charted by the inhabitants of the Archipelago, just like he desired. Once he landed, he went exploring. He didn't have far to walk before the beach gave way to a dense forest. He kept walking until nightfall and stumbled across civilization; a sprawling, densely populated village. No, much bigger than a village; it was a city! The city had a lofty stone castle right in the center that was unlike anything he had ever seen before.
Retracing his steps until he came to a sizable clearing, he made camp for the night. In the morning, he returned to the beach and started dismantling the ship. Loading the pieces onto a makeshift sled, he dragged them inland to the clearing where he'd made camp. Over the course of a couple weeks, he reconfigured the ship into a small cottage.
Cutting down one of the nearby trees, he fashioned the trunk and branches into rudimentary furniture; a bedframe, table, chair, and eating utensils, to be specific. Using stones and mud collected from the nearby river, he constructed a hearth that sat in the middle of the cottage, with a hole in the roof that served as the chimney. When he needed food, he hunted and fished, saving pelts and feathers to turn into clothing, bedding material, and arrows. However, he had long ago run out of bread. He knew that he needed more than just meat to survive, so he was forced to go into town to see what he could buy with what little money he had from the Archipelago.
...
Nuffink felt more than a little self-conscious as he wandered through the streets of the bustling village, searching for either a bakery or a food vendor. Everyone's clothes looked strange to him, but he was the one strangely dressed compared to them. His shirt and long cloak were both made of canvas from the ship's sail; he'd colored the cloak green by extracting a dye from leaves and grass, but left the shirt its original off-white color. His breeches, boots, and light armor were all made of leather, and his sword and whip hung at his side while his daggers were tucked into his boots. The hood of his cloak was pulled over his head, partially concealing his scarred face, and he walked with his staff clasped in his right hand.
People were stopping and staring as he passed, some even going out of their way to avoid an encounter with him. As crowded as the streets were, though, it was inevitable that he would occasionally brush shoulders with someone walking in the opposite direction, and he mumbled an apology each time it happened. Finally, he located the bakery and walked inside, lowering his hood as he crossed the threshold. His pale hair had grown down past his shoulders, and he was considering either tying it back or cutting it. Unbeknownst to him, the local law enforcement had been following him for some time with suspicious looks, and followed him inside the bakery.
"Hello there! What can I do for you, sir?" the plump woman behind the counter asked cheerfully, wiping her flour-coated hands on her apron. Fortunately, his father had made sure to teach both him and his sister how to speak English as well as Norse, so Nuffink had no difficulty communicating with the shopkeeper.
"Two loaves of bread, please," he replied, pulling a handful of small copper coins from the pouch on his belt. "This is all the money I have, so I apologize if it's not enough," he said and dropped them into her hand. She examined them quizzically.
"I've never seen money like this," she said after a few moments. "Are you sure this is real money?"
"It is where I'm from, which is a very long way from here. I must confess that I am a stranger to your land and your customs," Nuffink told her.
"You can have the bread on the house this time, then. Welcome to the Kingdom of Arendelle!" the woman said, handing Nuffink a sack containing two loaves of bread.
A kingdom named Arendelle, huh? At least now I know this place has a proper name, Nuffink thought after thanking the woman for her generosity. He turned around to leave and found the guards blocking his path. "Pardon me, but would you be so kind as to allow me to pass?" he asked politely. Their hesitation was long enough for Nuffink's grip on his staff to tighten before they finally stepped aside. Nuffink was more wary as he walked back to the forest on the edge of the village; this time, he did notice the guards following him from a distance. He stopped in a wide square and sat on the edge of a fountain to eat part of the bread and have a smoke. Having nobody but himself to talk to for at least three months made him skittish in the crowd, and he hoped he was just overreacting.
Nuffink had just lit his pipe when a buff, handsome young man like himself sat beside him. He wore dark clothes, and a mop of straw-colored hair stuck out from under his dark cap.
"Beautiful morning, isn't it?" he asked out of the blue, taking Nuffink aback.
"I, uh, suppose it is," Nuffink replied, exhaling a ring of smoke from his mouth.
"I know just about everyone in this town, but I've never seen you before. You new around here?"
"Aye. Just arrived a few weeks ago," Nuffink told him.
"My name is Kristoff," the man introduced himself. "What's yours?"
"Nuffink."
"That's okay, you don't have to tell me your name if you don't want to," Kristoff said.
"Eh?" Nuffink raised an eyebrow.
"I asked your name and you said nothing."
Nuffink chuckled. "No, no, my name is Nuffink. I was named after a relative on my mother's side of the family," he explained, carefully emphasizing his name's pronunciation.
"Oh. Well, it's nice to meet you, Nuffink. Where are you from?" Kristoff asked.
"Far, far away from here. A place you've probably never heard of."
"We get lords and dukes visiting from all sorts of strange places. Try me," challenged Kristoff.
"The island of New Berk. In the Barbaric Archipelago."
"Okay, that's a new one. What's your story?" Kristoff regretted the question as soon as a look of pain crossed Nuffink's face. "Sorry. Sore subject?"
"Very."
The two sat in silence for a while. Nuffink dumped the ashes out of his pipe and used one of his daggers to slice a chunk off of one of the loaves of bread, tearing a piece off of the chunk with his teeth.
"Well, Nuffink, it was nice to meet you, but I have places to be. Let's get a drink if we see each other again," Kristoff suggested, standing up. Nuffink nodded curtly in reply, likewise standing up. The two shook hands before walking in different directions. Nuffink had almost reached the edge of Arendelle when the Captain of the Guard, Bjorn Bjornson, stepped into his path, flanked by two regular guards from the castle.
Captain Bjornson was a beefy yet pot-bellied man with thinning black hair that extended down into muttonchop sideburns connected seamlessly to his dense mustache, as well as a monocle over his right eye and a flashier uniform compared to the other two guards. All three men had hands on the hilts of their swords, which were very peculiar in design from Nuffink's perspective.
"Hello! Would you mind sparing a moment of your time, sir?" the captain asked. Nuffink bristled; judging from the captain's tone, what he wanted couldn't be good for him.
"What do you want?" he asked gruffly. Captain Bjornson gestured to Nuffink's whole person.
"You're carrying weapons. I don't like it when civilians carry weapons. Who are you, and what do you need that many weapons for?" he demanded.
"I mean no disrespect, but I'm afraid that is none of your business," Nuffink stated. "The place I have traveled from has customs that are far different from yours. Openly carrying weapons is a part of everyday life for me." He turned around to find an alternate route back to his hut, only to find a second trio of guards with crossbows blocking the other end of the narrow street.
"If you won't talk to me, that's fine. I think Her Majesty Queen Elsa would be very interested in hearing your story," said the captain as he and the guards started closing in on Nuffink. The young Viking only smirked.
"I have no interest in an audience with this Queen Elsa you speak of," he declared, then used his staff to vault onto the low rooftop on one side of him. He ran across the neighboring rooftops as the guards followed from the street, effortlessly dodging the occasional crossbow bolt fired in his direction. Thanks to his lifestyle, he was simply too swift for the guards, who stopped and stared in awe as Nuffink somersaulted from the roof of the last building and vanished into the forest.
...
Kristoff, who happened to be dating Princess Anna, walked into the throne room of Arendelle's castle. On the main throne sat Elsa the Snow Queen, a tall, regal woman with milky alabaster skin, pale blond hair that hung down her back in a long braid, bright blue eyes, and a slim-fitting blue-and-white dress that bared her pale shoulders. A golden tiara encrusted with blue sapphires rested on her head.
On a smaller throne to her right sat Princess Anna, who in some ways was the polar opposite of her elder sister. She had a rosy complexion lightly dusted with freckles, auburn hair the same length and style as Elsa's, sparkling hazel eyes, and a dress that was black and green.
Because Kristoff would be marrying her sister sooner or later (or so she was able to deduce), Elsa let him come and go as he pleased.
"Hey, Kristoff! What's new?" Anna greeted enthusiastically.
"I just met the strangest person," Kristoff told his bride-to-be. "Nice guy, but strange."
"How so?" Elsa asked, looking intrigued.
"For one thing, he's definitely not from around here. His accent, his clothes, even his name were all dead giveaways," Kristoff began.
"Keep talking..." Elsa urged. Truth be told, this was the most interesting thing to happen in quite a while.
"I introduced myself, and we got to talking. His name is Nuffink, and he's from somewhere called the Barbaric Archipelago."
"Interesting. What did he look like?" asked Elsa.
"About your age. His right eye was hazel, the left eye had a patch over it. He had the same color of hair as you, Elsa. He had a green cloak over a white shirt, and the rest of his clothes were all made of leather. He had a sword and a whip on his belt," Kristoff described. "Oh, and the leather vest he was wearing over his shirt looked more like armor than clothes." Right as Kristoff finished speaking, Captain Bjornson burst into the throne room.
"Your Majesty!" he huffed, out of breath from running through the castle. "The guards and I tried to apprehend a suspicious-looking young man, and he escaped into the forest. Requesting permission to pursue, Ma'am."
"Apprehending him? On what charges?" Elsa inquired.
"He was armed to the teeth, Ma'am. I fear he may be an assassin," the captain reported.
"What did he look like? Describe him," Elsa ordered, and the captain rattled off roughly the same description as Kristoff's. "I see. Permission denied, Captain."
"What?! Why?"
"Kristoff here encountered the very same man shortly before you did, Captain. He does not seem to me to have any hostile intentions. He may only be a simple traveler. You are dismissed," explained Elsa.
"But-"
"Dismissed, Captain." Captain Bjornson sighed dejectedly and bowed to Elsa before taking his leave. "Kristoff?" Elsa asked, and the man turned toward her. "The next time you encounter this Nuffink fellow, please deliver a cordial invitation to the Harvest Festival banquet, please. I would like to meet him myself."
"Will do, Elsa!" Kristoff said with a salute.
I purposefully designed my grown-up version of Nuffink to have the same accent as Stoick. However, his voice isn't quite as deep as Stoick's.