"Could you explain his reaction?" He asked.

"No." Olivia rolled her eyes. "He was being dramatic."

She had been especially annoyed at how he dragged Calvin into this mess.

Dr. Huang had no intention of overstepping, but he was pretty sure Rafael Barba was in love with her and was jealous and that's why he'd reacted that way.

"So what happened then?"

"We didn't speak for an entire month." She said. "He'd call Calvin every weekend though and keep up with his life. He said he was busy at work and wouldn't make it."

"Did Calvin believe it?"

"Well, he's always been especially bright about these things, but he did yeah. He was too occupied with what was going on in our lives." A sad look appeared in her eyes. "T-Bone left without saying goodbye. We both took that pretty hard."

One Year Earlier

Chapter 20: Enchanted to Meet You

This was the very first page

not the where the storyline ends.

My thoughts will echo your name.

Until I see you again.

These are the words I held back

as I was leaving too soon

I was enchanted to meet you.

"Enchanted." - Taylor Swift [Speak Now]

"What do you mean he started it?" I repeated. "That doesn't mean you get to push him to the ground and pummel him, Calvin!" My son flinched and then looked sad.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I didn't mean to yell, I'm just..."

"Angry and disappointed?" He proposed.

"It's been a lot lately." I said, putting my arm around his shoulders.

"Yeah." He muttered. "That's why I snapped. Josh said you're not my real mum and that you only took me in for pity and to get money from the government."

"Hey with the rate of food you consume the government could really start paying more."

Calvin glared at me.

"Ok, so no humor to diffuse the situation then." I realized, pulling my hand back. "Calvin, I didn't take you in because of pity you know that and even if I did, would that be so bad?"

And what did he care about what Josh thought anyway?

"Well, why did you take me in?" There was something channeling in his eyes.

"I..." I only now realized that after two years we'd never really spoken about this. "I wanted a kid for a long time. And when we first met I was leaving my old life behind and then when I met you it..." I sighed, because I knew he would think it was corny. "Well, it was like destiny for me."

Calvin looked at me with his gaze that made him look older and wiser than he was.

"Yeah don't go saying that in public, tell people it was pity, otherwise I'll be beaten up for sure." He rolled his eyes. "Destiny!"

I laughed loudly and ruffled his hair.

We would talk about this later. About how he had to apologize to Josh. About how violence was never the solution.

But it was a Friday, we were both home early due to his fight. For now I would make the best of it.

"Pizza and friends?" I suggested and we smiled.

"Yeah."

We'd started watching the show with Hope, who had succumbed to wearing sweats all day, eating ice-cream and watching said sit-com.

I'd never really had time for shows on a regular basis before and it was nice to have something Calvin and I could watch together.

It was set in New York.

Sometimes I would lose myself in the location, remember a crime scene, a moment with Elliot or just a moment out of Detective Benson's life.

The life she had thought would last for ever. But then again, who knew how long things would have stayed the way I'd known them? Maybe Elliot would have left SVU without a word one day.

Maybe change had been long coming my way, no matter what had happened between me and Elliot and what had happened with Devon Collins.

"I'm sorry I pummeled him." Calvin suddenly said. "I was just so mad."

"I know Honey."

"I'll apologize to him on Monday."

"We don't have to talk about it now." I said. "Let's just have a relaxing weekend, ok?"

"Ok." He looked relieved. "It won't happen again."

I smiled. "Just you wait, all you need is one boy disrespecting a girl you like and then you might end up pummeling him again."

Calvin blushed and didn't say anything and I wished I hadn't said it. He always closed up at the topic of girls.

With Rafael too.

"I'm sorry." I said. "That was a dumb thing to say."

A shy smile appeared on his face. He liked it when I admitted to being wrong.

I never knew what Elliot had said to his son whenever he had gotten into a fight at school. It wasn't something I could have just asked him straight out.

"Did anyone ever do that for you?" Calvin asked me now. "Pummel a guy who disrespected you?"

I laughed. "Well, I was a cop, so I held my own."

Except those incidents when Elliot would step in front of me. I remembered when he had grabbed Stucky by the collar, absolutely furious. How he had beaten Harris for assaulting me, even when he hadn't known the entire truth.

"So." I said shaking off the memory. "I'll go and see what Hope is up to and you call the pizza place?"

Calvin nodded and we parted ways in the hallway.

He went upstairs and I walked towards my best friends' apartment with a heavy heart. I missed the old Hope. The Hope who was so loud and exciting by just about anything it was bordering on annoying. The one who saw beauty and light in everything.

When she opened the door she was in her usual sweats, messy hair and tired look on her sad face.

"Hey." She muttered.

"We're ordering pizza and watching friends."

She sighed. "Fine."

"MUM!" Calvin's panicked voice suddenly rang though the hallway. "Quick! Hurry!"

I reacted before Hope, but then we were both running up the stairs. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was nothing good.

Calvin was just one storey above us, but it felt like he was miles away.

"Mum!"

I had never heard him this afraid before.

When we finally reached the door I hurried over to him with Hope directly behind me.

"What's wrong?" I asked gripping his shoulders and looking him in the eye. "Calvin, what happened? Are you hurt?"

"No." He shook his head and I could tell he was shaking. His eyes were large with fright. He pointed behind me with a shaking hand.

"Liv." Hope whispered behind me.

I turned around.

There was a box on the floor. Someone had dropped a large package at our front door step and judging by Calvin's panic there was most probably a severed head inside of it.

Hope seemed to think the same because she wasn't moving from the spot and looked at me helplessly.

Of course it would be me, the former cop would have to look inside the ominous package,

I took a steadying breath and stepped closer. Behind me Calvin whimpered and Hope pulled him against her side.

You can do this, I told myself. It won't be that bad.

Calvin was safe and well.

Whatever was inside this box couldn't be so bad.

I opened one side carefully, almost expecting something to jump out at me.

There was no blood.

No body parts.

I was surprised by the obvious light coming from the box. Everything was white, not red as I had expected.

There was a note with words written on it with an unsteady hand, but still legible, the frantic letters spelling out the words: Look after him.

The note was resting on something soft.

A blanket I realized.

And the blanket was wrapped around a newborn baby, sleeping peacefully as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"A baby?" Dr. Huang repeated, stunned. "An actual real life baby?"

"An actual real life baby." Olivia laughed. "Delivered right to my doorstep."

"Wow." The psychiatrist was laughing. "What did you do?"

"We took him straight to the hospital." The former detective explained. "Hope, Calvin and I. We didn't want to take any chances." She paused and the said: "It was a miracle for me. That I longed for a baby and then one would suddenly appear."

There was something sad in her tone and it made Dr. Huang grip his steaming tea-mug tighter as if he needed to hold on to something.

As if he was worried things were going to fall apart for her.

"I don't get it." Calvin muttered. "What if his name actually is John?"

"Then he'd still be a John Doe for now."

"Baby Boy Doe." I corrected as sat down beside them on the uncomfortable plastic chairs.

It was late.

The social worker hadn't arrived yet and the doctors were still busy with Baby Boy Doe. He was ok, but they wanted to run some extra tests.

He was two weeks old.

Beside me Calvin yawned and I sipped my coffee.

"Calvin, you don't have to stay." I said. "Hope can take you home any time."

None of us had to stay. But I couldn't leave. I just couldn't leave him here all alone with no one else looking out for him, waiting for him.

"No, I want to stay." Calvin mumbled.

The baby had opened his eyes and cried when I'd lifted him out of the box. It had been a natural instinct to lift him and up and cradle him in my arms. He was beautiful, with fine dark hair, a tiny little nose and curious eyes.

Then of course he had started screaming bloody murder, probably being hungry.

"Why did someone do this?" Calvin asked.

My 13-year old son had a look in his eyes that was more appropriate for a 30 year old man. A man who had seen and experienced tragedy.

"Just leave him in a box like that?"

Hope looked at me with sad eyes and I swallowed. I knew this topic hit too close to home for Calvin, reminded him so clearly of his own mother abandoning him.

"I think whoever did this was very desperate." I said. "And she probably felt like she couldn't give him what he needs."

He was two weeks old which meant that his mother or whoever had chosen to leave him with me had known him, probably named him.

"But she knows you right?" Calvin asked now. "I mean, she left him with you and asked you to take care of him."

"Well, detective, probably yes." I smiled and he rolled his eyes.

"Who do you think it was?" He asked now and I couldn't even blame him for asking this question.

"I don't know." I admitted. "I mean there was that girl we met on your birthday in the café, but I see lots of girls in desperate situations at work."

The mention of his birthday made me sad. That was the last time I'd spoken to Rafael. I missed him.

Hope nodded beside me. I knew she'd been compiling a list of potential mothers in her mind as well.

"It doesn't mean she doesn't love him." I said clearly, reaching out to touch his hand.

We continued waiting on in silence.

I knew the social worker probably had a lot to do, but I felt like I couldn't leave until she was here. This little boy was all alone in the world and had been left at my doorstep.

Whoever had abandoned him had done so trusting me.

The least I could do was sit here until the official personal came in.

"Was this part of your job as a cop?" Calvin suddenly asked. He'd been so quiet I'd thought he'd fallen asleep. "Abandoned babies?"

"Yeah." I said and even though two years had passed I still felt the familiar pang of pain when talking about work. "My partner and I had a few cases where we found a baby and had to look for the mother."

Elliot would always be so emotional about those cases and he would try to keep it in but it was clear as day how much he loved babies and children and how much he valued life.

I wondered if he would have approved of me taking that pill two years ago.

"Oh." Hope suddenly sat up and I turned, expecting to see a doctor with an update.

But it wasn't a doctor.

It was Rafael Barba.

Dr. Huang was at the edge of his seat.

He hadn't forgotten what she had said in the beginning of this meeting.

That she was ready to return to New York.

He wanted her to have it all.

He wanted her to be happy.

"Hey Buddy." He greeted a sleepy Calvin first and the teenager actually stood up and hugged him tightly.

Rafael closed his eyes as he returned the hug. He was wearing a suit and was carrying a small bag as if he had just come form work.

I stood up and felt shaky.

"Hi." I said.

I was starting to think I had superpowers. I wanted a baby, there was one on my doorstep. I missed Rafael, he appeared out of thin air.

"Hey." He sighed and hugged me.

It wasn't awkward.

It was comforting.

It was everything I needed.

He was my best friend in the whole world.

"I came to take Calvin home." He muttered and stepped back. "Then you and Hope can stay."

"How did you know..." I didn't finish the sentence.

How did you know I needed you?

Behind me Hope cleared her throat.

"I texted him." She announced. "While we were in the car. I mean he's annoying, but he is useful."

Rafael shot daggers at her, but Calvin laughed.

"I don't want to go home." He said.

"Well I do." Rafael muttered. "Let's go home, get some sleep and your mum will call us if there's anything new, ok?"

My son sighed. "Fine, but I need to pee first."

He left with hanging shoulders and Hope stood up to go to the bathroom as well.

Leaving me alone with the ADA.

"I'm sorry." We said at the same time.

"I over-reacted." He said. "It's your life you can do what you want."

"Thank you." I whispered.

"So, are you and Matt dating now?" Rafael sat down beside me.

"No." I looked at my shoes. "I haven't actually seen him since...well since that night. And...I don't know, it was just...heat of the moment or something."

He was Calvin's teacher and I couldn't really imagine dating him anyway, just because I couldn't imagine dating anyone.

"How have you been?" I asked him. "Is everything ok at...in New York?"

I'd almost said at home. It was an old habit.

"Yeah." Rafael sat down beside me in the chair Hope had been sitting in all evening. "Amaro got into a bit of trouble."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, he...uh...well he beat up a pedophile."

It was strange hearing that harsh word. I'd never had problems with it. Had used it almost daily.

"Badly?"

"Very." Rafael looked sad. "He's out of the unit and on probation."

"I wonder how Cragen will deal with it." The words had left my mouth before I'd even thought them through. Rafael looked at me wide-eyed. It was my number one rule. We never talked about people from the squad that I had known.

"I just..." I felt like I needed to explain. "My former partner." My soulmate, my best friend, the love of my life. "He had some anger issues too."

The ADA looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't.

Just as I was about to ask him what was on his mind, Hope and Calvin both returned and he and Calvin left pretty quickly.

It was after eleven pm. It was time for Calvin to go home.

Hope brought some more cheap watery coffee from a vending machine and we sipped it quietly. There was nothing going on at this hospital and I knew it was fruitless to sit here like this, but I just couldn't leave the baby alone.

"You called Rafael." I finally said into the silence that had spread between Hope and me.

"Yeah." Hope gently flicked her hair back. "You need him."

I did. He gave me a certain balance in my life I hadn't felt since Elliot. A stability I longed for so deeply.

"Olivia." Hope said. "I'm going to sit here with you all night, if need be, because I know you want to keep this baby."

I looked up from my paper cup with a n astonished look.

"I..." I swallowed. I just didn't know what to say. Finally I settled on: "I never said that."

"You didn't have to." She whispered.

I sat back in the uncomfortable chair. I did want to keep him. Of course I did. How could I possibly not? He was laying at my door step. There was baby shaped gaping hole inside my soul and there he suddenly was.

But I didn't know how to do it. Maybe his biological mother wanted him back. And I didn't know what Calvin thought.

So for now I would sit here silently and make sure this little boy wasn't completely alone in the world.

There was a silence between me and Hope, because we didn't have to talk. She knew what I was thinking and feeling and she had called somebody she hated, just because she wanted to be here for me.

Would Elliot have done that? I wondered and the thought was their so suddenly filling me up with a rage I barely let myself feel.

My soulmate, the love of my life he may be, but he was far from perfect.

"How do you just fall in love with someone else like that?" Hope broke the silence between us. "We were married, I was his wife." She shook her head and rubbed her shoulders as if she was cold. "And he just...fell in love with someone else?" She sighed. "What is that? Who does that?"

I couldn't look at her.

The cheap coffee made me feel queasy and I set the half empty cup on the hospital floor.

"Elliot did." I finally admitted, peering up at her through my long hair, barely able to maintain contact. "He fell in love with me as his marriage fell apart and I...well I've loved him many a year..." I took a shuddering breath. "Things went to hell though, for me." Just for me, I thought. "He and his wife patched things up. We had one weekend together. And then–" I stopped myself. I just couldn't tell her about my silly deal with Kathy. Couldn't deal with the shame. Couldn't face my own stupidity that had made everything fall apart.

"It happens." I finally concluded. "It's messy and painful, but people who are married can fall in love with another person."

Hope looked at me a long time.

I half expected her to stand up and leave.

"His marriage was falling apart?"

"Yeah. That's what he said at least. He slept on my couch a lot of nights." I remembered those beginnings so fondly. The absolute trust we had in each other, the foundation of our friendship and partnership to not be disturbed by anything else.
"And then we had one terrible case." William Lewis' face flashed before my inner eyes and I shuddered. "It was life changing, the most despicable crimes I've ever been privy too." Hope was looking at me, but I couldn't read her expression.
"The guy got away. Our prosecutor couldn't hold him and Elliot just...well he showed up at my apartment late one night and just...confessed his love for me." Tears burned in my own eyes. "I tried to stop it at first, Hope. I really did, but...I just loved him so much, you know? And then it happened and after that weekend, everything in my life went to shit and then I moved here and got Calvin and found you and..." I let the sentence hang in the air.
"I'm so sorry." I finally said.

"Did he initiative it?"

I thought for a moment.

"Yes." I finally said. "But I went along."

"Where is he now?"

"Italy." I said. "Last I heard. With his wife."

Happy. I thought. He is happy.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Liv."

I leaned in to hug her. I was so grateful, so full of love for this woman who had accepted me into her life so easily. She'd have every right not to stand by me in all of this. She was the wife and I was the other woman.

It was that easy.

I was the bad guy here.

But Hope accepted me anyway.

"You're still here?" One of the doctors was walking along the hallway and I stood up.

"Yes." I glanced at Hope. "We didn't want to leave before the social worker came." I swallowed. "We didn't want him to be alone."

"Oh." The doctor had a warm smile. "Well..." She looked around conspicuously. "The social worker won't be here until tomorrow morning and this really is against protocol, but would you like to see him?"

Olivia was radiating joy and Dr. Huang would have bet a large amount of money that this story was going to end well for her and the little baby.

"He was so small." She gushed. "And so perfect. Hope actually waited outside while I went in. He held my finger with such a strong grip." The former detective smiled at the memory.

"And Rafael looked out for Calvin?"

"Without hesitation." Olivia whispered. "He just got on the first plane straight here."

"Wow." He said. He was impressed and overjoyed at the same time.

Olivia Benson had dug herself out of one of the darkest places a human mind could be thrown into and had built a life for herself.

"Olivia." He said. "I don't think I can wait, please tell me you kept this baby?"

She smiled. "Well. I had Calvin to consider."

"Do you think it's possible to get high from a baby?" I asked unable to wipe the goofy smile of my face.

"I'm not sure you should mention that to the adoption agency or social worker."

I rolled my eyes as we walked towards her car. "I won't. Besides, I need to talk to Calvin first." I sighed. "Hope, he's so amazing. He's just absolutely perfect."

"Wow, you sound like you're in love."

"I think I am." I realized and the realization hit me so hard I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I didn't just want a baby. I wanted this baby.

This little boy was my little boy.

"He gripped my hand really tightly and looked up at me." I said not for the first time. "And he has the softest hair. You should have come inside."

"I'm pretty sure I'll see him soon." She said with a knowing smile as if she already had it all figured out.

Once we were inside I felt the full emotional weight of this whole evening come over me.

I had told Hope about my illicit affair.

Rafael and I had made up.

A little baby had been left right outside my doorstep.

"It's going to be ok." She said now as if she could feel how anxious I was, which admittedly – she probably could. "Olivia, you have come so far. This will work out for you too and if not well..." She shrugged. "We'll figure something out."

"Thank you." I gave her a side-glance. "I missed this. I missed you."

"I missed me too." She muttered as she drove towards our apartment complex. "He took a piece of me when he left."

Her words hit so close to home I almost gasped.

"You'll get it back." I promised, because I owed her this truth. Owed her to feel this hope. "These pieces of you will come back."

She didn't reply and we spent the rest of the ride in silence. I could still picture the baby's face right in front of my inner eye.

I missed him already.

But if Calvin didn't want this then it wouldn't happen. He was my son and I had to put his needs and wants above mine.

Hope and I hugged at her door and when I entered my apartment Rafael was sitting on the couch, waiting up for me.

"Hey." I whispered.

"Hey." His whole face lit up when he smiled.

I'd seen this before of course, but I really appreciated it, appreciated him.

"I drank some of your scotch."

"It's not my scotch." I muttered as I crashed onto the sofa beside him. "It's here for you."

"Aww." He said and it sounded cynical as he put his glass to his lips. "Did you talk to the social worker? Which judge do I need to call?"

I smiled and patted his knee. "Hold your horses, counselor. I'm gonna need to talk to my son first." Rafael didn't exactly tense underneath my touch, but he did look down at my hand on his knee. I pulled it back, we weren't really touchy. "The social worker won't come in until tomorrow. But I got to see him." Immediately the smile was on my face again. "He's so perfect, I swear."

"You look happy." Rafael said. "It's a good look on you."

I pushed his shoulder and rolled my eyes. "You make it sound like I'm always gloomy."

"Well.."

"Oh, shut up!"

Gosh, I had missed him so much.

He chuckled and then stood up. "I should get going."

"You can sleep here." I suggested.

"Yeah." The ADA groaned. "I'm too old for the couch, Liv."

I rolled my eyes again. "You can sleep in my bed. I'll take the couch."

Late nights at a hospital, waiting for a social worker? Seeing a newborn baby who had been abandoned? Telling Hope my details about Elliot?

There was no way I'd be sleeping without the white noise of the TV tonight.

"Please." I added. "Calvin would love to have you here tomorrow morning, you know it." Calvin had never actually uttered the words but we both knew he loved Rafael.

"Yeah, ok. But I feel weird sleeping in your bed."

"Forget it, Counselor." I smiled and stood up.

I wanted to check on Calvin, wanted to see that he was sleeping safe and sound.

But when I opened the door I was surprised to see his light was still on and he was sitting up in bed.

"Calvin!" I hissed as I went inside. "What are you doing? Do you know how late it is?!"

His hair was tousled, his eyes wide.

"Are you ok?" I sat down on his bed. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"No." He shook his head. "I waited for you to come home. Did you see him? Is he ok?"

"I did." I couldn't help the smile spreading on my face. "And he's just fine."

"Good." My teenage-boy fell back against the headboard with a relieved smile.

My heart swelled with pride and love for this amazing boy.

"I didn't know you were that worried about him. If I had known I would have called. I thought you were asleep, so did Rafael by the way."

"I know, I lied to him."

"Calvin!" I rolled my eyes. "You know how I feel about lying."

"It was a necessary lie." He insisted. "Because I wanted him to think I was sleeping, so I could talk to you alone."

"Ok."

This was it. The moment Rafael and I had been waiting for. The one we had secretly taking bets upon. Calvin was either going to tell me he liked a girl from school or he was going to come out to me.

But then my son spoke the words out-loud that I couldn't even have dreamed of:

"Mum?" He whispered. "Can we adopt this baby? Can he become my little brother?"

The psychiatrist was sure that he couldn't deal with the anticipation any longer. That he would burst with excitement.

"Olivia." He sighed. "Please put me out of my misery."

She laughed. She actually laughed.

He hadn't seen her this happy in the whole of their meeting.

"Ok." She grinned and took out of her phone.

Dr. Huang watched her as she typed for what felt like an eternity. He was speechless. Hadn't she just agreed to tell him how this story ended?

When she looked up there was an excitement in her eyes he was sure he had never seen before. Not at SVU, not while she'd been a detective and partnered with Elliot. Certainly not after her time as a detective.

"Hello!" A loud voice made him jump in his seat. It was a woman's voice. She was smiling a huge smile, had red hair twisted up into a bun and was pushing a stroller.

Olivia stood up from her chair, basically humming with excitement.

"Hi, I'm Hope!" The woman held out her hand and he gripped it.

"George." He stammered, unable to believe what was unfolding in front of his eyes.

Olivia Benson, former detective Benson was leaning down into the stroller with a large smile on her face. The woman he had seen break down on multiple occasions was currently singing a familiar tune he couldn't quite place.

"George." She straightened up, carrying a little boy in her arms. He had brown hair and brown eyes so very similar to her own. "This is my son." She kissed the child's head and he cooed making the former agent's heart melt. "Noah Porter Benson."

Hi everyone! I hope your Monday isn't too crappy and you have a great week! What do you think of this chapter? Also, I've been toying around with an idea for quite some time, it's a dark rewrite of Season 7, it's set in 'fault' and Elliot and Olivia are kinda OOC because it's basically just one huge hurt/comfort story. Any takers? Let me know!