Brandon Jones
16. Nov 2024
Helluva Park: Jurassic/Helluva Boss Crossover (Chapter 1)
(One glorious day in Imp City...)
The pentagram has been set upon the buildings of Imp City. And Blitzo has received a new client with an adventurous history behind him. But the target that the client wanted dead was something that Blitzo never thought he would expect, a dinosaur.
''So, let me get this straight, you want us to kill a – a what now?'' Blitzo said, perplexed. ''A Spinosaurus. As long as a school bus and as heavy as an elephant. And it sure has a mean appetite.'' The Client answered. The client was a hellish, repitilian sinner with an Australian accent. ''And how do you suppose we find this- whatever this thing is?'' Blitzo asked, scratching the back of his neck. ''It lives in Isla Sorna. An abandoned island somewhere off in the sea. I need you to go and kill it. Make sure it pays for what it had done to me.'' The client spoke. Blitzo then reluctantly shook hands with his new client. The silence of uncertainty filled the office only to which the sound there was the client walking out the door. Blitzo then came out of his office with a blank expression on his face followed by an occasional blink. ''So, did you talk to our new client? What are we going to kill this time?'' Moxxie said, taking a sip out of his coffee mug. ''Sir?''
''Moxxie, tell the others to get ready. We are going to hunt.'' Blitzo said. ''This is a once and a lifetime opportunity. So, we cannot fuck this up.''
''Hunt?'' Moxxie tilted his head. ''Hunt what?''
Blitzo then turned his head to Moxxie. ''We are going to get ourselves a dino.''
(Later, on a sunny day in Isla Sorna...)
Moxxie, Millie, Blitzo, and Loona stepped through the portal that was opened with the grimoire. Their bodies were immediately hit with the humid atmosphere of Isla Sorna. ''Alright gang let's hop into it and get this over with. Mox, you have the rifle?'' Blitzo asked. Moxxie nodded, raising the red-flamed weapon. ''Alright, now let's fucking do this shit.'' Blitzo confidently strutted forward. The I.M.P gang followed, listening in to the loud chirps and buzzes that surrounded them. Moxxie then noticed a strange shadow that cast from up above the tall trees that almost hidden the sky. A dead, skeletal corpse of a man dangled from a parachute that was caught in the branches. Moxxie's eyes widened, fastening his paste toward where Millie was walking. ''You okay, honey?'' Millie turned her head to her husband. ''Yes, I'm fine.'' Moxxie blurted out. ''Sir, do you actually know where you are going?'' Moxxie asked his boss. Blitzo stopped in his tracks, tapping his chin with a thoughtful expression. In front of where they stood, a large, huge fence was in their way. It towered over them as they managed to walk out of the habitat of the Spinosaurus. And from the other side of the paddock's fence, a crooked sign with a black-shaped head of a dinosaur lay by the deserted path. ''Sir? Where is the target?'' Moxxie said. Blitzo then looked both ways at the fence that stretched for miles. ''We've been walking for a minute-''
''Fucking Shush, Moxxie.'' Blitzo said. ''I think I heard something.'' Then, the I.M.P gang listened to the environment. A thunderous, steady beat was heard in the distance as they felt the earth's surface shake. Blitzo then looked down to a puddle of water in the grass as it vibrated once again from the strange noise. Loona cautiously looked around as one of her ears twitched. ''Uh, where is that coming from?'' Moxxie asked. ''Fuck if I know, Moxxie.'' Blitzo said. Blitzo sighed. ''You know, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. We should head back.''
''But we just got here.'' Moxxie exclaimed, shaking his arms in frustration.
''Does this mean we're not getting paid?'' Loona asked, raising an eyebrow.
A looming shadow began to cover Millie, causing her to slowly turn around. Her eyes widened to the sight of the Spinosaurus staring back at her with part of its body sticking out of the forest. It raised its large head into the air as it began to bellow. ''Uh, guys. I think I found the target.'' Millie said. ''Guys!''
''What?'' Moxxie and Blitzo both collectively yelled. Their eyes were quickly glued to the massive predator as it let out a loud roar that almost deafened them. The shadow of its head and opened jaws covered them from the sunlight. ''Unholy fuck! Moxxie shoot it!'' Blitzo screamed, standing behind Moxxie pointing his finger. Moxxie hesitated, his fingers trembling as he tried to pull the trigger. But he couldn't. The Spinosaurus then charged forward at the assassins. Moxxie quickly fired a shot, causing the bullet to hit the dino by an inch. Blitzo and Moxxie screamed. The gang made a break for it, running alongside the paddock fence as the Spinosaurus followed them with each of its steps shaking the grassy ground. With his surroundings being blurred from running, Blitzo saw a dented opening of the fence and seized an opportunity to swiftly slide through it. Millie and Loona followed, crawling almost on their bellies as they got covered with dirt. ''Where's Moxxie?'' Millie cried out. Moxxie was the last one to be chased after the Spino. He turned to make a quick shot with the sniper rifle as the bullet hit an inch of the dinosaur. He threw the empty gun, causing it to be smashed to pieces in a footprint that was left behind. The I.M.P gang frantically waved their arms at him as adrenaline rushed through every fiber of his body. The Spinosaurus caught up with the little imp, but before he would be caught as it lowered down its head down, Moxxie swiftly slid through as the Spinosaurus suddenly snapped its jaws from where the red imp used to be. Moxxie quickly fell into Millie's arms as she began to console him with a hug. Blitzo laughed, giving a middle finger to the dino as it stood on the other side of the fence. ''Hah hah, nice try, you stupid fuck. Can't catch us now, huh?'' Blitzo said, raising his head out with a victorious cackle. The dinosaur roamed alongside the fence. And for a moment, it almost looked as if it never kept its eyes off the gang, specifically Blitzo. It stepped away into the distance, disappearing back into the forest as the assassins celebrated. Blitzo then checked the pockets of his suit, his eyes widening into a terrifying realization that he had lost the grimoire. Back in the Spinosaurus' enclosure, the grimoire laid in a puddle of mud as the large predator stepped onto it causing the book's cover to shatter into pieces as it was left in a footprint...
(To be continued...)