Chapter 8 Testing Sydney
Back in his realm, a seething Jafar watched the whole thing through a red crystal ball with his snake minions.
"Well, I hate trains!" Romeo complained, changing the subject as they got back up. "Remind me never to get on the train again!"
When the vision faded away, the undead man screamed in agony over his unsuccessful attempted murder on Sydney. "NOOOOOOOO!"
He even grabbed a hold of his throat and squeezed it.
Iago stared at his master, dumbfounded by his temper tantrum. "Uh, wow…"
Jafar threw himself over the stone table, and grasped his hand on top of a skull resting nearby.
"Take it easy there,sir" Igao tried to console his master from his temper tantrum. "You know, sir, really you should watch your blood pressure. My cousin Izzy just kneeled over one day, mid-mango."
As Jafar pulled himself together, one of his thumbs fell off.
Iago flinched at his severed thumb. "Stress, it's a killer, sir," He continued as he picked up the man's thumb. "And he's a bird like I am, but no feathers and no bird traits even." He then screwed Jafar's thumb back on his hand.
Jafar stared blankly at his parrot companion for a moment, but then he went back to his infuriating ranting. "How could they let her escape?!" He yelled. He then angrily smashed the skull on the table, breaking it into pieces.
Flinching again, Iago nodded his head. "Eh, you're right. It's very upsetting, sir." He then picked up the reliquary, and looked at it. "Eh, I guess this reliquary's broken."
Without another thought, the parrot tossed the magical device aside.
Jafar's eyes widened in terror as he watched the reliquary fly through the air. "YOU IDIOT!" He raced after it to catch it and prevent it from breaking. As the man skidded across the floor, he flung his own hand ahead, literally stretching it out.
He managed to catch the reliquary in the nick of time, before it could hit the ground and break. His hand then pulled back, attaching to his wrist.
Jafar looked at his reliquary with relief, but then glared angrily at Iago, eyes red with fury.
"Uh, a-alright now, sir," Iago stammered calmly. "Take it easy there. Just remember what I said to you about stress."
"I sold my soul for this," Jafar hissed. He then very furiously grabbed Iago by the back of his neck, and shoved the reliquary in his face. "My life, my very existence depends on it. And you…" He chuckled sinisterly before angrily growling, "Almost destroyed it!"
He slammed Iago's beak against the reliquary.
"I get it! I get it!" The parrot panicked, and tried to squirm away. "You break it, you bought it!"
"See that you remember, you annoying bird!" Jafar growled as he pushed Iago back across the room.
Iago then landed on the ground on his rear. "Oh, sure, blame the parrot," The parrot muttered with a sulk."What the heck? We're easy targets."
"What are you muttering about?" Jafar asked, turning to him.
"Uh, Sydstasia, sir," Iago lied, getting back up on his feet. "Just wishing I could do the job for you, sir. I'd give her a HA! And a HI-YA!" He explained as he showed off some poorly karate movements. "And then a OUU-WA! And I'd kick her, sir!"
Jafar watched in disgust at the parrot's poorly done karate skills. "Ooooh!" He then looked back at his reliquary as another thought came to him. "I have something else in mind," He said softly with a wicked smirk. "Something more enticing. Something…really…cruel."
He grinned evilly as he scratched the reliquary with his finger nail, causing it to screech like chalk on a chalkboard.
In the meantime, Sydney, Romeo, Tiger, and their snail had finally made it out of Russia, and reached Latvia. Ever since the train incident, Romeo made it very clear that it would be best not to take another train directly to Paris and instead would walk there on foot.
Winter turned to spring as the sun shone over the mountains and valleys, and the group had spent a few days walking down miles of paths.
"Okay, are we gonna walk to Paris?" Sydney asked Romeo one day.
"We'll take a boat from Germany," Romeo answered.
"Ohh," Sydney nodded. "Then, we're walking to Germany."
"No, your grace," Romeo said. "We're taking a bus."
"A bus," Sydney said sarcastically.
"Mm-hmm." Romeo nodded.
"That's nice."
One day, they reached a bridge over a small creek, where Tiger seemed to be in a feverish excited mood over something. "Miss Kitty, my dear! Tigey's on his way!" He called out.
"Who's Miss Kitty?" Sydney asked.
Tiger stopped short as he was now lost in a revelry. "Who is Miss Kitty?" He said, still lost in his daydream. "Oh, she's a tender little catnip morsel."
"Tiger!" Romeo quietly warned his partner in tension.
But Tiger ignored him as he continued in a smitten manner. "The cup of hot chocolate after a long walk in the snow."
"Tiger!" Romeo tried to stop him. "Ix-nay on the Iss-may-Itty-kay!"
This only made Tiger grab Romeo, and force him to dance with him in an uncomfortable manner. "She's a decadent pastry filled with whipped cream and laughter." He gently pushed Romeo forward to make him dip.
Sydney looked at Romeo, whose face was upside down to hers. "Is this a person, cat, or cream puff?"
Tiger pulled Romeo back up, and shoved him aside. "She is the Empress's ravishing adoptive first cousin!" The orange cat danced around while humming to himself, and began gathering some more flowers.
Sydney looked confused. "But…I thought we were going to see the Empress herself. Why are we going to see her cousin?"
Then, she noticed Romeo from the corner of her eye eavesdropping on the two, and tried to walk away. "Romeo?!" She said to him suspiciously, and crossed her arms.
Romeo stopped in defeat. "Well…" He had no choice but to tell her the truth. "Nobody gets near the Dowager Empress without convincing Miss Kitty first."
Sydney's eyes widened. "Oh, no," The girl immediately shook her head, and walked away from the young man. "Not me. No! No! Nobody ever told me I had to PROVE I was the Grand Duchess!"
"Look, I…" Romeo began.
But Sydney cut him off. "Show up? Yes. Look nice? Fine. But lie?" She then looked down at her necklace.
Romeo shrugged. "You don't know it's a lie. What if it's true?"
Even his words didn't stop Sydney from frowning at him. She turned to walk away, but Romeo grabbed her hand to stop her. "Okay, so there's one more stop on the road to finding out who you are," He assured her. "I just thought this was something you had to see through to the end, no matter what."
"But look at me, Romeo! I'm not exactly 'Grand Duchess' material here!" Sydney hissed, while stomping her right foot. "Ugh!" She stormed off towards the bridge where Tiger was standing.
Tiger handed Sydney a red rose, and the two looked over the bridge railing into the flowing water below. "Tell me, child, what do you see?"
Sydney looked at her reflection down in the creek. All she could see of herself was her ragged dress and hair done in a ratty high ponytail. "I see a skinny little nobody," The girl answered sadly. "With no past, and no future." She then tossed the rose into the water.
Tiger gestured for Sydney to look down at him. "I see an engaging and fiery young woman who on a number of occasions has shown a regal command equal to any royal in the world. And I have known my share of royalty," He smiled.
He then beckoned his finger at Sydney, wanting her to kneel down.
She did as she was silently told, and knelt down to the orange cat.
"You see, my dear," Tiger whispered. "I was a member of the Imperial Court."
Sydney smiled a little. "Hmm," She sighed.
The two gazed down at their reflections in the water, once again.
At that moment, Romeo's face showed up in the reflected creek next to Sydney. "So, are you ready to become the Grand Duchess Sydstasia?" He asked the girl.
Sydney just frowned at Romeo again, still annoyed with him for not being honest with her, and turned away from him.
Even Tiger gave Romeo a look.
Romeo just shrugged. "What?"
Tiger ignored him, and turned to Sydney. "These is nothing left for you back there, my dear," He said. "Everything is in Paris."
Sydney fiddled with her necklace as she thought to herself. She then finally decided to make her choice. "Gentlemen," She turned back to the man and cat with a smile. "Start your teaching."
"I remember it well," Tiger smiled. He then began to explain all about the long forgotten past of Sydstasia.
Tiger: You were born in a place by the sea
Sydney: A palace by the sea?
Could it be?
Tiger: Yes, that's right!
You rose horseback when you were only three!
Sydney's eyes widened. "Horseback riding? Me?"
The orange cat nodded again.
Tiger: And the horse…
Romeo: He was white,
Tiger: You made faces and terrorized the cook!
Romeo: Threw him in the brook!
Sydney: Was I wild?
Romeo: Wrote the book!
Tiger: But you behaved when your father gave you that look,
Romeo: Imagine how it was!
Tiger: Your long forgotten past!
Romeo and Tiger: We've lots and lots to teach you,
And the time is going fast!
Sydney put on a confident face. "All right! I'm ready!"
The three went over to a large fallen log that made the form of a bridge over a chasm in front of a waterfall.
Rule #1: A princess must walk with good posture and balance.
Romeo picked up a twig, and placed it on top of Sydney's head.
As everyone walked carefully among the log, Sydney balanced the twig upon her head.
Tiger: Now shoulders back,
And stand up tall
Romeo: And do not walk,
But try to float!
Sydney: I feel a little foolish,
Am I floating?
Tiger: Like a little boat
Romeo: You give a bow
Sydney gave a small curtsy.
Sydney: What happens now?
Tiger: Your hand receives a kiss
Romeo demonstrated by gently kissing Sydney's hand.
Tiger took the twig, and placed it on his own head to show Sydney.
Romeo and Tiger: Most of all remember this!
Tiger: If I can learn to do it,
You can learn to do it
Romeo took the twig from Tiger, and placed it back on Sydney's head.
Romeo: Something in you knows it
Romeo and Tiger: There's nothing to it!
Sydney closed her eyes, spread out her arms, and walked down the log exactly how the man and cat told her to.
Tiger: Follow in my footsteps,
Shoe by shoe
Romeo and Tiger: You can learn to do it too!
Some time later, the group was travelling in a wagon down the Eastern European countryside.
Rule #2: A princess must show proper manners.
Romeo and Tiger helped Sydney practice perfect royal etiquette. Although they were going very fast, Sydney was able to follow their lead and got better and better.
Tiger: Now, elbows in, and sit up straight!
Romeo: And never slurp the stroganoff!
Sydney: I never cared for stroganoff!
Tiger: She said that like an Esbenov!
Romeo: The Samovar!
Tiger: The caviar!
Sydney: Dessert and then goodnight?
Romeo and Tiger: Not until you get this right!
Next, the group were now riding on the backs of horses. Sydney was riding a golden yellow stallion named Spirit, Tiger was riding a white horse named Maximus, and Romeo was riding a black horse named Angus.
Tiger and Romeo: If I can learn to do it, (If he can learn to do it),
You can learn to do it! (You can learn to do it!)
Tiger: Pull yourself together
Romeo and Tiger: And you'll pull through it!
They were able to get their horses to prance perfectly, during which Sydney blew a kiss.
Tiger: Tell yourself it's easy
Romeo and Tiger: And it's true!
You can learn to do it too!
But as they all jumped over a small cobblestone wall, Romeo accidentally fell off of Angus and landed in a puddle of mud!
Later on, the three friends were all riding in the back of a truck, and Tiger and Romeo started Sydney's next lesson – knowing all the descendants and ancestors of the Esbenovs.
Tiger pulled out a chart. "Next, we memorize the names of the royalty!" He announced. He then showed the chart to Sydney, revealing it to be a collection of photos of the Esbenov family.
Tiger: Now here we have John Smith
Romeo: Shot Ichabod Crane
Tiger: In the bodkin!
Sydney: Oh!
Tiger: And dear old uncle Avery loved his vodka!
Romeo: Got it, Sydney?
Sydney: No!
Tiger: The Jockey!
Sydney: He was…
Romeo: Short!
Tiger: Professor Farnsworth!
Sydney: Had a…
Romeo: Wart!
Tiger: Count Jeffrey Albertson!
Romeo: Wore a feathered hat!
Tiger: I hear he's gotten very fat
Sydney: And I recall his yellow cat!
Romeo and Tiger stared at Sydney blankly, and exchanged a baffled glance at each other.
"I don't believe we told her that," Tiger said to Romeo.
A while later, the group were riding bicycles in the countryside. Gary just rode in the basket on Sydney's bicycle.
The more Sydney studied on becoming the Grand Duchess Sydstasia, the more confident and proud the woman was now becoming. She even began warming up to Romeo and Tiger more than ever, realizing that not all men were as bad as she thought they were.
Sydney: If you can learn to do it,
I can learn to do it!
Tiger: Don't know how you knew it!
Sydney: I simply knew it,
Suddenly I feel like someone knew!
In no time at all, the group was riding on the top of a bus, arriving at a harbor in Germany, as Nick promised.
Romeo and Tiger: Sydney you're a dream come true!
Once the bus stopped, they hopped off, and prepared to board a waiting ship that was bound for their main destination. Paris!
Romeo and Tiger: If I can learn to do it
Sydney: If I can learn to do it
Romeo and Tiger: You can learn to do it!
Sydney: You can learn to do it!
Tiger and Romeo each took Sydney by the hand as they walked towards the ship, before heading up the large wooden ramp.
Sydney gave a curtsy, before walking up towards Romeo and Tiger exactly the way they taught her.
All: And you'll pull through it!
Tiger: Tell yourself it's easy
All: And it's true!
Romeo and Tiger: You can learn to do it!
Sydney: Nothing to it!
All: You can learn to do it too!