This chapter and next one were actually only one chapter, but i had to split the chapter because it would have been too long in my opinion.
Anyway, we reached almost to the end! I can't wait to you all read the last chapter and to know what you all think about the whole story! ^^
Two weeks had passed since Sasuke had left. Sakura never found the courage to reply to that message that was lost in the sea of indecision. She never knew what to say to him, the feeling of guilt was strong, but even so she repeated to herself that she didn't owe him anything, that he had been a simple patient, although he had been admitted because of her, she thought to herself.
Ino constantly encouraged her to write him, although as time passed, the days and the weeks mutated into a new day and a new week, already losing all meaning. Time made those memories that at the beginning were so recent and painful for Sakura dissipate. But now, although she remembered it with some regret, she knew that she would recover, having let herself be carried away by her feelings.
The good thing was that the daily routine of the hospital made her get through the days, and even helped her not to think about it. Sakura returned to focus solely on her patients, she no longer left the pediatric ward, only for weekly meetings, and when she had to be in the emergency room.
Sakura knew that Sasuke went to the rehabilitation appointments, but she never wanted to ask Ino which days he was going, because as she constantly told herself, she did not want to continue down that path that only led her to pain.
One day when she was in her office collecting some stuff at the end of the workday, she heard someone knocking on the door. Thinking it could be a patient, she said to come in. Although it was no longer her work schedule, Sakura never left her patients unattended, so if she had to stay ten more minutes, she would do it without thinking about it.
She heard the door close and when she did not hear anyone speak, she quickly turned to see who it was. When she saw the tall, dark, strong-looking man standing there with his hands in his pockets, she almost dropped the documents she was collecting to take with her.
"S-Sasuke," she said in a thin voice, as if she had seen a ghost, or a divine being descended from the heaven.
Sakura was surprised to see him so tall; his imposing body made a shiver run through her body. It was the first time she had seen him standing, and he was very, very tall. Sakura approached him with timid steps, and as she got closer, she realized how small she was. His gaze remained fixed on her, observing each movement, step by step, without saying a word. And Sakura felt vulnerable there alone with him, facing the truth, facing what he had come to tell her.
"How are you? I see you well, is the rehabilitation helping you?" she asked, returning to the questions about his health, it was easy and comfortable territory for Sakura. She noticed that at her words Sasuke showed irritability by closing his eyes and letting out a snort.
"You didn't come," he answered simply.
Sakura looked at him confused, not knowing what to say. Had he come to ask me for explanations? She would never have expected that, although deep down she felt that he deserved an explanation.
"I did," she said regretfully, avoiding his gaze. "But you were no longer there," and she looked back at those dark eyes that took her back to those days alone together, those shy smiles and gestures that shouted feelings that were yet to be explored.
"You didn't answer my message either," he spoke again with a hard look and a clenched jaw. It seemed like he had gone there just to reproach for things, to make her feel bad. Sakura knew she didn't owe him anything, she was nobody to him, so why is he asking me all that?
"You're right, I didn't answer you, but.." she wanted to justify herself but he quickly cut her off.
"I asked you several times what was wrong, I knew something bothered you. If you thought Karin was my girlfriend, it's not like that, I've never..." he began to explain, and Sakura felt so ashamed feeling that her feelings had been exposed. She couldn't hear any more words.
"Sasuke, it wasn't that. I was just constantly worried because you never had visitors, and finally someone came. I don't care if she was your girlfriend or just a friend, but I thought that I didn't need to visit you anymore," she began to chatter nervously, unable to look at him in the eyes. That situation was so awkward, but perhaps necessary to close that misunderstanding.
"As I told you, I didn't want anyone else's visits but yours," as he said those words, Sakura raised her gaze looking for Sasuke's. What? Did I hear right? Sakura's gaze asked Sasuke if what he was saying was real, and when he saw her confused look, Sasuke had one of those smiles that could only be seen when Venus, Jupiter and the Moon remained aligned. Sakura wanted to say something, but her voice couldn't come out and Sasuke spoke again, "Besides, you owe me dinner, remember?" Sakura couldn't help but have a silly and embarrassed smile.
"I remember," replied while she nodded smiling.
"Good," Sasuke nodded thoughtfully as he looked around Sakura's office. "You choose where and when," he spoke again as he turned his gaze, looking at her as if he had missed her.
"Okay," Sakura replied, not quite sure what to say.
They left the hospital together. Sakura found it so strange to be next to Sasuke, used to always seeing him lying down or sitting in a closed environment. When they said goodbye in the hospital parking lot it seemed like Sakura was living a dream. But it was real; Sasuke went to look for her, especially in her office, and then they left the hospital chatting and laughing. With a pending date.
A pending date, she repeated to herself.
.
.
.
After two days, Sasuke visited Sakura again, at the same time since it was after his rehabilitation session, knowing that she finished around that time. They talked about how the rehabilitation sessions were going.
Sasuke explained that the first few weeks he did have to use a crutch, but from the third week, which was when he went to visit her, Dr. Yamanaka told him that he had to start getting used to not having any support, because if not, he would damage his hip and have a bad posture for life.
He also told her that he hardly used pain medication anymore, since he was quite resistant to pain. So, he only took it at night, since it was when the pain increased; when his body relaxed. But it was also something that he was reducing.
Sasuke told her all this after Sakura's constant questions. He knew she genuinely cared for him, and that was why he had unintentionally grown accustomed to her visits and her presence, because Sakura had been the first woman in his life (after his mother) to care about his well-being and not see him as a piece of meat. It was evident that Sasuke had always been popular with girls, but it was always because of his appearance; it was never a concern for him, but a concern for his attention to them. And that was why Sasuke had never been in a relationship, nor had he shown interest in any woman. Until now.
The only woman who gave all her attention to a bombardment of questions about his physical well-being.
"Sakura, the rehabilitation sessions are enough," he told her as they left the hospital hall.
"Yeah, but if you go to this physiotherapist, he will help you and reinforce the sessions you already do here at the hospital. For a good physical and mental recovery, nothing is enough," she insisted, and Sasuke couldn't help but look at her in admiration for her stubbornness and constant concern.
"Okay," he accepted with a warm smile and Sakura looked at him surprised, her emerald eyes shining under the hospital spotlights. "Give me their contact and I'll see what I'll do,"
"Perfect! I know he'll help you and you'll recover quickly," she said with a satisfied expression of having convinced him, while she took out her cell phone to look for the contact.
Sasuke observed her, standing there absorbed in the cell phone, with her hair tied back in a ponytail, several strands falling down the sides of her face and now covering part of her beautiful features. He was tempted to touch some of those strands and hide them behind her ear. That soft pink hair, he thought,how would it be to have it between his fingers, as well as to touch her fine, sweet skin.At that moment Sasuke had to suppress all those thoughts that were flying wildly through his mind.
"There it is!" Sakura said as she looked up at him, who was now uncomfortable for having had those thoughts in front of her, oblivious to everything. Sasuke gave her an awkward smile.
He wrote down the contact Sakura had given him, and they said goodbye again in the hospital parking lot.
.
.
.
The days passed, and Sakura wondered if she should send some kind of message to Sasuke about the dinner that he said they "had pending". She was nervous, she didn't dare to take that step, although through text messages everything was easier, but all her insecurities piled up in her head without giving way to a little common sense.
She knew she couldn't drag it out much longer because if she did Sasuke would think that she was rejecting him, and she couldn't make him think that,right?She told to herself. Nervous, she looked at the screen where his last and only text appeared"I'm leaving tomorrow."to which she never responded. Seeing it there was a little painful, since it reminded her of how she felt that day and the next days. How could a single message condition such deep feelings? She kept asking herself.
I have to do it, she told herself,I have to do it,she repeated to herself. Sakura, come on, you can do it, her mind was at war where she couldn't let her insecurity defeat her.
Sakura: Hi!
Sakura: Saturday at 8 PM at Nindala's Restaurant?
She cursed herself, why did I have to write it as a question? Now he'll think I don't want to go, and I'm sure it seems strange to him that I wrote him that way. A constant mental bombardment. All of this was new to her, that's why she was hard on herself, because of her insecurity. She hadn't had a relationship for years. Well, a real relationship.
In high school at 17 years old she had her first and only boyfriend that didn't last a year, but they didn't even get to fourth base. Then she went to college, where she focused so much on her studies that she ignored the constant hints from boys who wanted to go out with her.
Ino always told her that she was lucky, that if she wanted to, she could have a date every weekend, but Sakura ignored the constant complaints from her friend who did want to have a relationship. The medical career was very demanding, it required all her attention to her studies, and thinking about boys was a distraction she couldn't allow herself.
After finishing the studies, she had to prepare for the entrance exam for a residency position, which meant more time to study. She got the position within a year, whereas Ino took 2 years. And when she started as a resident doctor, it was even more overwhelming for her. She was going to deal with real patients, people would have expectations of her, and their lives depended on her, on her professionalism; so, she continued training, going to constant conferences, and doing extra shifts to learn, learn, and learn.
Until now.
Sakura continued to study, and occasionally went to conferences. But she had already relaxed. The years of residency and more so the years she was now working at the hospital helped her to have greater self-confidence and greater knowledge. So, although Sakura was insecure in many aspects of her life, including love, when it came to her profession, she was not insecure at all. The years gave her the experience that making quick decisions was key and essential to her profession.
And so, the years had passed, until she was 29 years old, single, and without any experience in romantic relationships, much less sexual ones. She did not know what intimacy was, nor what it was like to be with a man. That was a secret that only Ino knew, she was so embarrassed because she knew that people would look at her as a weirdo, almost 30 years old and a virgin.Who reached 30 as a virgin? Weird people,she said to herself. And in that moment Sasuke came to her mind.
Sasuke.
He would have had experiences.A lot, her mind was playing tricks on her again.As handsome he is, surely no girl would have rejected him.Her mind continued down that path. Besides, if I end up sleeping with him, he'll surely notice that I'm a virgin. How embarrassing! What will he think of me? How can I hide that?
At that moment, while her mind was harassing her, she couldn't stop looking at the messages, watching to see if Sasuke was going to get online. But at the same time, she also avoided looking at it.What am I doing? I look like a schoolgirl,she told herself. At that moment she saw that he had gotten online and she dropped the phone as if it was burning in her hands, and left it there face down, not wanting to look at what he was answering,if he answers, said a little voice that was constantly riddling her with negative thoughts.
She heard how she had received a notification. But she avoided looking at who or what it had been. She continued to be absorbed in her task of reading files. She wanted at least for her anxiety to relax and for whatever he had answered, if it was him, of course, not to hurt her because most likely he would tell me that he is not free on Saturday, her mind began to shoot herself again.
Thirty minutes passed.
She had already gone through three files, and she could take a break. So, she picked up the phone to see who had written to her; it was him. Her heart began to beat strongly, just knowing that it had been him was making her nervous.
Sakura, calm down, for God's sake, it's just a text.
Sasuke: I'll be there 😉
He answered.
And a silly smile appeared on her face, she hadn't even realized that she was smiling, and all her insecurities, and even the constant little voice that was attacking her disappeared, as well as the weight she had been feeling on her chest. Her mind had cleared, and she felt a feeling of calm and security run through her body, something like a spark of hope.
.
.
.
Saturday arrived. It was 6PM, she had Ino on speakerphone telling her what she could wear, and she was constantly sending her pictures of clothes to help her choose. She had the room full of clothes; on top of the bed, on top of the armchair, the closet doors wide open, and Katsuyu playing to get into the closet and get on top of Sakura's clean clothes.
"What do you think of this red dress? It's a bit Christmassy, but I've always liked it," Sakura told her as she took a picture and sent it to Ino.
"It's discreet, but sexy. I like it, it's your style," Ino replied, approving her friend's decision.
"So, this dress with black tights and ankle boots, what do you think?" she asked again.
"Yes, I think it's very appropriate. You'll be able to show off your long, beautiful legs," Ino replied in a playful tone, and Sakura smiled thinking that, although she had short dresses, she barely wore them, she always ended up opting for pants. It was a dress that she had perhaps only worn twice, and it was about 5 years old.
She finished getting ready and put on a little makeup; blush, mascara and a little lipstick to highlight the tone of her lips. Then she fixed her hair, although barely, since it was short, so she only went over it a little with the flat iron to make it straighter, she put on some small golden earrings that stood out with the red dress and pink color of her hair.
Ready. She thought while looking at herself in the mirror.
It was her first date in years. If she could count going to fast food places as a date. That was the only thing they could afford at 17 years old. It was endearing, in her adolescence she could at least have that experience, but after that she never had the opportunity to go to elegant restaurants, or to be taken to romantic places like an aquarium, to go see the sunset, and beautiful landscapes that no one had discovered yet.
Anxiety invaded her body. And thousands of thoughts were again riddle her, but she focused on the lights of cars approaching, searching among the sea of lights for a green light of a free taxi. She quickly raised her hand signaling to a taxi driver to come towards her. As soon as she entered, she gave him the address, and in just over ten minutes she appeared in front of the restaurant.
When she entered the restaurant, she indicated that she had reserved a table for two in Sakura's name and they accompanied her while saying that they were already waiting for her, that made her heart skip a beat. Is he already waiting?
Sakura walked behind the waiter who led her through the maze of tables to the table reserved for the two of them. There it was; near a corner, next to the wall, a rather intimate area. Sakura looked at Sasuke's dark hair as he lay face down looking at his cell phone, until he noticed someone approaching and looked up at the waiter and then at her, watching Sakura as he kept his gaze on her, but not before he run over her whole body. At that moment she felt exposed, it almost seemed like she had forgotten to breathe for a second.
After a few seconds she watched as he stood up and approached giving a small kiss on her cheek and putting a hand on her waist. Sakura tried not to blush.
"You look gorgeous," he whispered as he approached, leaving Sakura standing there for a second, her neurons unable to connect to her muscles to move and sit in front of him.
"Thank you," she said avoiding his gaze when she finally managed to sit down. She cleared her throat, not quite knowing what to say, waiting for a waiter to come over and ask them what they were going to drink, desperately needing some help to loosen her inhibitions.
Her gaze met the darkness of Sasuke's intense gaze. At that moment, she observed how handsome he was, although for her it was impossible to be more handsome than he already was, with a white shirt and dark pants, definitely anything suited him. She noticed that he was clean shaven, and the two usual locks of hair fell on the sides, which were almost her weakness, apart from his eyes.
"Well, tell me," Sakura spoke again, uncomfortable because of how he was looking at her. "Has the physiotherapist I recommended helped you?" she asked as she placed the cutlery she had on either side of the plate. When she looked up, she saw an amused smile as if he was enjoying the discomfort Sakura was going through due to the embarrassment she felt.
"Let's stop talking about me. I've been the main topic these past few weeks, now I'd like to know about you," he said with his stoic pose, but with the gesture that showed interest in her.
"About me? What do you want to know about me? You already know where I work, basically my work schedule, and how bad I drive…" she began to ramble as she always did when she was nervous. At her last comment, Sasuke laughed.
"Yeah, I think I know pretty well how bad you drive," he replied amused and Sakura blushed. She still felt guilty about what happened so she slightly narrowed her gaze. "Hey, come on, don't worry, I'm fine," he reassured her as he placed his hand over hers as she continued to fiddle with her cutlery nervously. Sakura looked up, observing the beautiful and intense darkness in his eyes. "Tell me about yourself," he smiled at her, encouraging her to speak, and Sakura cleared her throat, taking advantage of those seconds to think about what she could say.
"Well," she began, "just like you, I'm from Konoha and I studied at Konoha University as well, but we didn't share a campus, since the Faculty of Medicine is on the East side and the Faculty of Law is on the Northwest campus," Sasuke nodded, encouraging her to continue talking. "I graduated 7 years ago, and I finished my residency 2 years ago."
"Do you have any siblings?" he asked.
"No, I'm an only child," she replied, and Sakura tried to continue the conversation by asking Sasuke, "And you?" then Sakura observed that same expression as when she asked him about his family. Sakura knew she had screwed up again and cursed herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" she began to apologize, observing Sasuke's uncomfortable state.
"No, it's okay," he replied and Sakura looked at him with questioning eyes waiting for what he was going to say. "I had a brother," he replied, hesitated for a few seconds and said, "When you asked about my family that day, it's a rather personal subject, but I think I owe you an answer," he explained.
"Sasuke, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," she replied, not wanting to be the cause of his discomfort. At that moment, a waiter appeared next to them and asked what they were going to drink. They both ordered wine, he gave them the menu so they could choose what to have for dinner; they spent a few minutes discussing what they were going to eat while they were brought the bottle of wine and served them two glasses. Until the waiter came back and took their order.
"As I was saying," said Sasuke when the waiter left to take their orders. Sakura looked at him with some intrigue. It was true that Sakura didn't want him to feel uncomfortable and much less forced to talk about something that caused him a little discomfort, but on the other hand, from that day on, Sakura was somewhat curious about his family, and why he didn't receive more visitors than friends. "I had a brother. But he passed away more than 10 years ago, along with my parents," Sakura knew it was hard for him to talk about something so intimate and personal to a person he barely knew, and she was grateful that he was sharing it with her.
"I'm sorry," Sakura replied almost in a whisper.
"It's okay, it's been many years. It's true that the pain lingers, but you learn to live with it," he replied. "So, I only have my friend Naruto, the coworker I told you about; Karin, my friend's cousin and his secretary, who you already know," he said, looking at her with a smile in his eyes, knowing that she had become jealous those days, and Sakura looked away while hiding an embarrassed smile for having behaved like an idiot. "And well, my secretary, who didn't come because I talked to her and she knows me well that I prefer peace. She was basically the only one who respected my decision," he explained, so Sakura began to understand his situation a little.
"What happened?" Sakura asked him. "Well, if you want to talk about it, if not..." she started to talk until Sasuke interrupted her.
"It was a traffic accident. There were four of us, I was the only one who survived," he answered and Sakura looked at him with sad eyes, unable to understand the pain he must have gone through, the loneliness, incomprehension and desperation he must have felt.
At that moment the waiter came back and served them the dishes they had ordered, both thanked him and Sakura spoke again.
"Thank you for sharing something like that with me, I know it must have been hard, I appreciate that you feel confident enough to talk to me about it," she replied with a warm smile.
"I just thought you should know, it's an important part of my life. Sometimes I think that I am the way I am because of what happened, because I would even say that it has built me as a person," he answered and Sakura nodded, reinforcing his words.
"Of course, something like that marks anyone and deconstructs and builds them as a person," Sasuke avoided her gaze, but she knew that the lack of response confirmed her words, after a few seconds of eating and in silence Sasuke spoke again.
"Tell me something else about yourself," he said "I imagine you don't have a boyfriend, otherwise you wouldn't be here, right?" he said amused wanting to change the tone of the conversation, and Sakura looked at him raising an eyebrow.
"Of course not," she answered offended exaggerating the tone of her voice and Sasuke laughed amused. "And you?" she asked anxiously, almost unsure of his answer.
"I've never had a serious relationship," he said as Sakura nodded, not knowing if that was good or bad, and Sakura simply nodded, not knowing what to say. She thought for a few seconds and finally dared to speak.
"Me neither," she said, almost embarrassed by what she was going to say. "So, to speak, I only had a boyfriend when I was 17," she smiled embarrassedly and shrugged her shoulders, revealing her biggest secret, although that didn't mean he assumed she was a virgin, but Sakura was still afraid he would read it in her eyes.
"Puppy love," Sasuke said surprised and Sakura laughed.
"Who didn't have a puppy love, huh?" she declared as a question and Sasuke quickly became serious about.
"Definitely not me," he answered and Sakura looked at him strangely, and wanted to look into a little more.
"When you said you never had "a serious relationship" did you mean you've never fallen in love?" she asked hoping he wouldn't shut himself away again and feel uncomfortable with her constant questions.
"Basically, that's it," he confessed and spoke again "You could say that you have been my only interest," that answer was too revealing for Sakura which made her almost choke on what she was eating, and she quickly took a long drink from her glass, to which Sasuke laughed at her genuine reaction.
"How can it be thatIhave been your only interest? There are a lot of beautiful women out there," she answered surprised, "Besides, I'm sure that you are quite popular among the female population," she said almost without looking at him.
"Yeah, well. Just because women are interested in me doesn't mean that I can show interest in any of them. Besides, what they are looking for is always something superficial," he replied.
"How can you know that if you have never been in a relationship?" Sakura asked skeptical of his words. It was to be expected that in fact, many women only wanted to sleep with him, but some would fall for his sullen and cold personality, she thought and then realized that well, it probably wasn't an easy quality to deal with, but still, someone would notice the sweet and soft side of him like she did.
"Because no one has looked at me the way you do," Sakura was taking a sip of the glass at that moment, which she almost choked on again, and Sasuke chuckled.
"H-how do I look at you?" she asked nervously after swallowing the wine that almost made her throw it out of her mouth and splash it on Sasuke's face.
Sakura didn't understand how he could say something like that, it could really be that no one had seen that magical side of him that she saw. She knew he was a cold and distant man, of few words, and quite surly, but if you scratched a little you could see that soft side that she was able to see a few days after visiting him.
Now Sakura could understand that all of that was a shell that he had put on so that no one would hurt him and no one could really get to know him. After the loss of the people, he loved the most, it was normal for him to have locked himself away and not let himself be loved or love anyone, because he was most likely afraid of losing more loved ones, but why had that changed now? Sakura wondered.
"You look at me as if you really saw me," that answer was not enough for Sakura, although it said a thousand things at once.
"Or maybe, you just let yourself be seen," she said wanting to take credit away from herself.
"Maybe, or maybe both," the look he gave her made her swallow from the intensity she felt. It was like he was transmitting such a strong feeling; as if he wanted to shout at her that she was the chosen one, as if she was blind to not see that he was choosing her, and only her. And at that moment Sakura thought to herself that, definitely, no one, either, had looked at her like that. Sakura gave him a nervous half smile, not knowing what to say.How was she supposed to respond to that?
When they finished dinner, Sasuke asked for the bill, and Sakura reluctantly tried to pay her share, saying that she was the one who was inviting him, who owed him for that dinner. But Sasuke completely ignored her and let her curse him a thousand things, like that he was being paternalistic, he was following the rules of the patriarchy, and Sasuke simply answered her:
"Let me for once follow the conservative rules of the human social code of courtship," he answered with a sober expression but hiding an amused smile at what he had just said and because of Sakura's expression of disbelief at what she had just heard.
When they walked out the door of the restaurant, they noticed that it had started to rain, Sakura looked around for a car that had a green light on. She didn't say anything, she just watched without moving away from the door of the restaurant sheltering from the rain and Sasuke stared at her.
"Did you come by taxi?" he asked while he watched Sakura's green eyes shine from the lights outside the restaurant.
"Yeah," she answered as she turned her head to look at him. At that moment she realized that it was the first time she was so close to him; they were almost shoulder to shoulder, and Sakura had to raise her head slightly to look him in the eyes. From that distance she could smell the perfume he was wearing, a very masculine smell, and her legs trembled, not knowing very well if it was because of the sudden cold of the rainy night or because of all the sensations that Sasuke made her feel.
"Come on, I'll take you home," he said as he offered her his hand.
Sakura stared at him for a few seconds, not really knowing why he was offering her his hand, but of course, she didn't know where he had parked and it was raining, so it was better to be close to him. That must be why, yes, she told to herself. His hand was warm and big on Sakura's cold and small hand,he is so manly,Sakura felt that feeling that weakened her whole body again.
They only had to turn the block to find a black Audi, whose lights turned on as they approached it, so Sakura understood that it was his car. First, he opened the passenger door, and waited for Sakura to get in, sheltering from the rain. Then he turned in front of the car and entered the driver's side, sat in front of the steering wheel while starting the engine. Sakura watched every move he made.
"Are you cold?" he asked before maneuvering to get out, and Sakura nodded while hugging herself from the cold and the water that had soaked through her since she was wearing some of her clothes wet. So, he immediately turned on the heater to make her feel comfortable, Sakura thanked him for it, and explained where she lived as they left.
Beta read by Alicestka
And thank you all for reading!
Comments are always welcome.