Chapter Eight: The Note

Severus frowned as apparated into the empty muggle street, it was just as uniform and mundane as he would have expected for Petunia. He walked up the driveway towards number four, cursing Dumbledore under his breath.

Perhaps he should have expected to have been asked to deliver potions to Potter eventually, despite initially refusing to do so. Albus and Minerva had called him to the headmaster's office that morning to inform him that they were following up on some leads with the Order today, and could Severus 'possibly deliver Harry's potions today, if he wasn't already too busy'. Like he had any choice at all! Dumbledore knew damned well he had nothing required of him over the summer other than brewing potions for Potter, so delivering them too shouldn't be too much of a problem according to the headmaster.

'You won't even have to see him.' Dumbledore had assured him cheerfully. 'The potions are left at the door for his family's privacy and convenience.'

Severus supposed he may as well see the boy now and save himself another trip in a few days time. It had been a week since Potter left St. Mungo's and he would need to assess his symptoms again before trialling lengthening the interval, so he may as well do it today and not have to come back.

He rang the doorbell instead of leaving the potion, steeling himself in case Petunia answered it. She didn't, thankfully. Potter's scruffy head peeked around the door, his expression confused as he clearly wondered what Severus was doing here.

"Hello sir." He said softly, opening the door a little wider. "They've just been leaving them there." He gestured to a little ledge just beside the door. "My aunt is out this morning, but she didn't like all the interruptions." Potter mumbled, eyes on the floor.

"I am aware." Severus bit out. "I've come to ask you about your symptoms." Perhaps if I said things more slowly the boy wouldn't be quite so daft, he wondered to himself.

"Oh." Potter glanced around quickly, wincing as he caught sight of a neighbour outside their house a few doors down. "Um…do you want to come in, sir?" He absolutely did not, but he followed the boy inside anyway. He sneered at the photos displayed on the mantle of the horse-like woman, her walrus of a husband and a severely overweight child that could only be their spawn.

"The symptoms, Potter." He got straight to the point, not wanting to spend a single second longer in Petunia's house than he had to.

"Oh," Potter shrugged, looking nervous. "They've been a little better I suppose."

"How so." Severus bit out, getting anything useful out of the dolt of a boy was like pulling teeth.

"The headache isn't so bad," Potter said finally. "And the shaking, I feel like it's taking longer to get bad. I don't feel so desperate for the next dose anymore." He admitted quietly.

"Good." Severus nodded. "It's working then. We will trial four hourly doses and see if things stay stable. Should you require the dose earlier do not let the symptoms build up and just wait, contact the headmaster and request it earlier."

He turned to leave, only to be stopped by Potter's quiet voice. "Sir?" He sounded more than a little apprehensive. Severus sighed and turned back to the boy, raising an eyebrow in question. "Um, sorry sir." Potter swallowed nervously. "I was just wondering…is there a way I can contact Professor Dumbledore?" Severus blinked, not knowing what to make of the question. "The headmaster told me to ask my Aunt but, um…" He trailed off again and Severus had to fight the urge to slap some sense into him. "She wasn't too happy about it when I asked her. I just wondered if there was another way…" His eyes darted to the side as he lost courage under Severus' steady gaze.

"He didn't give you a direct way to contact him?" Severus frowned, his eyes narrowing. The boy mutely shook his head in response, looking like he altogether regretted asking the question in the first place.

He sighed, loath to give the boy a way to bother him needlessly, but also knowing that if the interval was too long the effects could reverse and he could find himself having to brew every two hours for the boy again. He pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket, tapping it quickly with his hand before handing it out to Potter.

"Is that magic, sir?" The boy swallowed, eyeing the parchment nervously.

"Barely Potter." He snapped. "Just take it." Potter reached out slowly, taking the parchment as if it might burn him, his eyes wide with anxiety. "If you write a message on that I will receive it." He said shortly. "Only if your symptoms return before the next dose, do you hear me?" He frowned, he couldn't think of anything worse than giving Potter of all people a way to contact him directly. "If you waste my time you will regret it."

The boy nodded mutely, tucking the parchment into the pocket of his very oversized grey sweatpants. Severus sneered a little at how he was dressed, why wasn't he surprised that Potter was a blatant slob. "Thank you, sir." The soft voice caught him by surprise, he had not expected any gratitude from Potter. He grunted in response before finally leaving the house, eager to get away from all things Potter and Petunia Evans as fast as possible.

He sighed as he realised he would have to come back two more times before the headmaster would be back, deciding that this was quite possibly one of the worst days of his life. Running errand boy for Potter of all people was not how he wanted to spend his Saturday, at least he could leave the next two doses outside and had no need to see Potter again.

…

Harry lay anxiously in his cupboard, curled up in a ball on the small cot. He was hungry and tired, and his whole body was shaking but none of it held a candle to the ferocious headache that felt like it was squeezing his brains out of his ears. He had only missed one dose, one, and he felt like he was going to die. How could he have been so stupid?

His clumsy, useless self had dropped the next dose after Professor Snape had visited that morning. His uncle must have come down from upstairs while he was outside and was standing just inside the door, startling him and causing him to drop the precious vial and spill the contents all over the floor.

"Stupid boy!" Vernon had hissed, slamming him into the wall with a harsh thump. His back felt bruised where it had hit the wall and the pressure on his chest from his uncle's huge hands felt like it could be enough to break his sternum. "Clean that up before Petunia gets home!" Harry had nodded hurriedly, grabbing the mop and taking care of it immediately. Not wanting to risk enraging his uncle any further he had quickly escaped and hidden in his cupboard, that had been nearly seven hours ago. There was only two hours left until someone would leave the next dose and Harry had thought he could wait it out in his cupboard, but after three excruciating hours he wasn't sure if he could even stay conscious that long.

His mind was foggy with pain but he remembered the parchment Professor Snape had given him, and wondered if this qualified as an emergency. He wasn't sure if the intimidating man meant absolutely life threatening, or if being on the brink of passing out was enough. Either way it didn't really matter, he supposed, as he didn't have anything to write with.

He could hear his uncle moving around in the living room, his aunt was thankfully still out with Dudley but she was due back any minute. If he was going to make any attempt at getting something to write with it needed to be now, before his aunt got home.

He steeled himself before sitting up slowly, wincing as the movement intensified the pounding in his head. He pushed the cupboard door open slowly and peeked out the crack, trying to make out the large form of his uncle with his blurry vision. He could hear the television running in the living room and hoped that's where his uncle was, but couldn't be sure with how poor his vision was at the moment. He decided to risk it and darted out of the cupboard, making a beeline for the kitchen where he knew Aunt Petunia had her shopping list and a pen. He made it into the kitchen before his vision went totally black, causing him to stumble and collapse into the kitchen counter.

He waited for a long moment trying to take deep breaths as his vision slowly returned, feeling like he was only seconds away from passing out for real this time. He reached out with a very shaky hand and blindly felt on top of the counter for the pen, feeling triumphant as it closed around something cold and plastic. He brought his hand back towards his body slowly, struggling to control the movement in the middle of the muscles constantly spasming.

He wrote a very shaky "Help" on the parchment, pausing for half a second before quickly adding "please". The Professor had been relatively nice to him so far but he didn't want to push it, the threat from earlier about wasting his time was still fresh in his mind.

There was a loud sound of the front door opening and Harry winced, shoving the parchment into his pocket as quickly as he could. There was no way he could get back to the cupboard before his aunt saw him…he glanced around desperately for somewhere to hide but his vision was too blurry to be of any help.

"Boy!" The shrill voice could be no other than his aunt Petunia. "What are you doing in my kitchen!" She screeched, and he knew he wasn't going to get off lightly this time.

He wracked his brain for a half decent excuse but the headache was pounding too loudly for him to think of anything fast enough. "Get up, boy!" She grabbed his wrist, yanking him to his feet.

He stood unsteadily for a moment as his vision began to darken in the corners, causing him to sway a little on his feet. He again opened his mouth to speak but was unable to as his body finally collapsed back onto the floor. He could see his hands in front of his face, shaking uncontrollably, before everything finally went completely black.

…

Severus wasn't happy to find himself back in the muggle street, an hour earlier than he should have been. When his copy of the spelled parchment had alerted him to a message from Potter he'd had half a mind to ignore it since it wasn't long until he was due back anyway, but something about the untidy scrawl (even for Potter) seemed off. The letters were not just messy but downright practically illegible, but he could just make out the letters the boy had obviously been trying to write - Help please. It was turning out to be a day of running around after Potter and there was nothing that Severus would have liked to do less.

He knocked on the door sharply, frowning as he heard raised voices inside. They were muffled by the closed front door but it was enough to make him push the door open without waiting for someone to let him in.

Immediately after entering he was confronted with the sight of an incredibly large man with almost no neck, his face red with anger. "Who are you!" He roared. "You dare enter my house without permission?" Severus looked past the walrus of a man to see a much older version of Petunia standing in the doorway, her very long neck more than making up for her husband's nonexistent one.

"Petunia." He said coldly. "Where is Potter?"

Her eyes widened with fury as she recognised him. "You!" She hissed.

"The boy, Petunia." He said sharply, ignoring her mounting anger. She grit her teeth and pointed into the kitchen behind her, her hand shaking in fury. He quickly stepped around her and into the kitchen, his eyes falling on the crumpled form of Potter on the floor. He was shaking uncontrollably in the midst of a violent seizure with the large boy that must be his cousin standing nearby, gaping wide mouthed at the convulsing boy.

He crouched down next to the boy immediately, it seemed the witless muggles were either too shocked or too stupid to even try to help the boy. He pulled out a dose of the potion that he had thankfully finished just before he left, pouring it into Potter's mouth as quickly as he could. It took a few long moments but at last the violent shaking settled down leaving Potter trembling mildly as he remained unconscious on the floor. He was breathing shallowly and would probably need another dose as soon as possible, Severus wondered how it had gotten this bad in only three hours since his last dose.

"Did he miss a dose?" He straightened up and turned to Petunia. "I left one outside as directed three hours ago." Petunia glanced over to her husband, shrugging slightly.

"Now listen here," the walrus growled, somehow becoming even redder in the face. "I'll not be questioned in my own home by some freak!"

Severus stared at him evenly, raising an eyebrow at his theatrics. "Are you quite done?" He raised his wand slightly, making the large man pale. "Did Potter miss his last dose?" He repeated carefully.

Petunia's husband stared at his wand for a long moment before nodding with a nervous gulp. "The boy dropped it." He said defensively. "He should have been more careful."

Severus shook his head, cursing the sheer stupidity of muggles. "He will have to come with me for further treatment." He said finally. "The headmaster will update you as to his condition." He lifted the unconscious boy into his arms, tapping him quickly with a disillusionment charm before leaving the house, not bothering to hear anything the muggles may have to say in response.

He apparated back to the apparition point in his quarters at Hogwarts, laying Potter on his couch before wasting no time to go straight downstairs to his private laboratory. He would need another dose as soon as possible and it would take at least twenty minutes to brew, so the sooner he started the better. He sent his patronus off to alert Dumbledore, stopping for just a moment as he always did to watch the doe canter away.

He then gathered the ingredients that he lept handy on his workbench and used the time until Dumbledore arrived to begin brewing the complicated potion that felt much simpler these days now that he had brewed it so many times each day for the past few weeks. He could do iron autopilot now, a skill he was thankful for when the flames of his fireplace turned green and Dumbledore stepped out.

"What is it, Severus?" He was clearly concerned as he brushed off his robes quickly.

"Potter is upstairs." Severus nodded towards the staircase in the corner of the laboratory. "He missed his last dose and was in a fairly serious state, he's had one dose but will need another as soon as possible." He explained as simply as he could while keeping at least half his focus on the potion he was brewing.

"He agreed to come here?" The headmaster sounded surprised. "I'm surprised you were able to convince him, he was so adamant-"

"I didn't convince him." Severus snapped. "The boy is unconscious. He likely will be for a while, he was seizing when I arrived."

Dumbledore paled slightly, glancing to the stairs. "Is he alright? Should I call for a healer from St. Mungo's?"

"No need." Severus bit out. "All he needs is another dose."

"I see." The headmaster sighed slightly in relief. "Thank you, Severus. I apologise that I was not here today, the lead turned out to be rather exaggerated in importance I'm afraid. I am glad you were here to help him."

"You didn't think he should have a direct way to contact you?" Severus asked sharply, murmuring a spell to lower the heat of the cauldron for the last stage of the brewing. "An interesting lapse of judgement to say the least." Again. Severus thought bitterly. When would the headmaster realise the potentially dire consequences of his so called mistakes?

"Petunia…" The headmaster trailed off, shaking his head with a sigh. "Perhaps I put too much faith in her." He admitted softly.

"Indeed." Severus agreed. "Two stupider muggles I have never come across. They didn't even have the sense to let anyone know that Potter missed a dose, if I hadn't given him a way to contact me earlier this morning he may very well be dead."

"Thank you, Severus." Dumbledore repeated, his eyes bright with sincerity. "You have proven invaluable to Harry over these last few weeks." Severus bristled at that, wanting to retort that he didn't do any of it for Potter, but thought better of it as he bottled the potion carefully. He stood up and heard the headmaster follow him as he headed up the stairs to his living quarters. Potter remained unconscious on the couch where he had left him, breathing a little more evenly but still trembling all over. He administered the potion straight away, watching carefully as the trembling began to lessen and finally stopped altogether.

"The dosing interval will be two hours again, for the time being." He said, turning back to Dumbledore who was watching him with an odd expression on his face. "It seems I'll be getting little sleep again for the sake of your precious hero." He scowled, feeling vindicated as his expression changed to a frown. "You can take him to St. Mungo's now, he will need monitoring until the interval can be increased again."

"Ah, Severus…" The headmaster said carefully, making Severus narrow his eyes in suspicion. "St. Mungo's was a dangerous choice the first time and we were very lucky no one caught on, but it would be risky to take him there again if his life isn't in danger." Severus grit his teeth, having a feeling he knew where this was going. "Perhaps he can stay here until he is ready to go back to his Aunt and Uncle?" There it was.

"I am no babysitter." He hissed angrily. "Especially for Potter."

"Of course. Severus." Dumebldore raised his hands to attempt to placate him. "I only meant that it would perhaps be more convenient for you if Harry remains here, just while the doses are so close together. It would save you travelling back and forth and you could monitor his symptoms personally and adjust the interval as needed." Severus hated that he was right. Travelling back and forth to St Mungo's while brewing the potion for Potter every two hours had been utterly exhausting.

"Fine." He snapped, turning away from the headmaster. "I'll not pander to his every spoiled need, and I'll hear no criticism on how I do or not speak to the boy either." He said sharply.

"Yes, thank you Severus." Dumbledore said, making towards the fireplace. He likely wanted to leave before Severus could change his mind or think of a better alternative. "I trust your judgement. The house elves will deliver food directly here, it is better if no one else at the castle knows he is here for the time being." With that he disappeared into the flames again, and Severus wondered how on earth he had gotten himself into being a caretaker for Potter.

Speaking of the boy he was now stirring where he lay on the couch, his eyes fluttering open slightly. He took a moment to fully wake, his eyes glazed over as he glanced around the room.

"Where am I?" He whispered, his voice was hoarse and scratchy. Severus could see his breath increasing already, and wondered if he should have had a calming potion on hand. "Who's there?" He reached around for his glasses and Severus took pity on him, placing them into his hand. He put them on quickly and sat up, flinching away into the back of the couch when he saw Severis standing nearby. "Professor?" He seemed to be relaxing a little as he took in his surroundings, perhaps Severus would not need to get a calming potion after all.

"You missed your dose and wrote for help." Severus said shortly. "You will have to stay here until we can reverse the effects of missing your dose. I trust you will listen, follow any rules I give you to the letter and respect my property or you will find yourself out on the street." He snapped. The lack of sleep was starting to show itself, and Severus knew he was probably due for another wideye potion before brewing the next dose.

"Yes Sir." Potter nodded quickly, eyes wide. "Where is here though, Sir?" He asked quietly, still looking around him warily.

"You are at Hogwarts." Potter flinched slightly at his words. "In my personal quarters. It is the most convenient solution until the interval can be increased again."

"I…" He trailed off. "I'll be fine at my Aunt and Uncle's house, please can I go back?" He bit his lip, scanning the room for anything overtly magical. His eyes fell to an enchanted quill on his work desk, spelled to copy out the required materials for each year level onto separate parchments, preparing them to be owled to the students before the new year started. "Is that…" Potter paled as he watched the quill move on its own, his breath coming faster.

"Magic, Potter." He sighed, rubbing his temple. "You are going to have to get used to it one way or the other." The boy continued to watch the quill with a terrified expression on his face, seemingly unable to look away. "Fine," He waved his wand and halted the movement of the quill, making Potter flinch away even further.

"Thank you, Sir." He whispered, looking away from the quill and down at his hands. "Thank you for helping me, I mean. I'm sorry if it was a bother." Severus studied the boy in front of him, noticing with satisfaction that his hands were no longer shaking at all. He was very scruffy, dressed in oversized clothing and looked as if he hadn't washed properly since leaving the hospital.

"Wash." He demanded, pointing to the door that led to the bathroom. "Do the muggles not own a shower?" He asked drily.

"They do." Potter said simply, getting to his feet. Severus waited for him to continue with an excuse as to why he hadn't washed properly in several days, but he offered nothing further. Severus gestured to the bathroom again and Potter went inside obediently, closing the door softly behind him.

Severus poured himself a glass of fire whiskey before taking a much needed seat in his favourite armchair. Potter was confusing him with this quiet, shy persona and it was really beginning to grate on his very last nerve. Surely a year's worth of memories couldn't have changed the boy so much? The brat he remembered talked back, argued and had an excuse for everything. He was ungrateful and spoiled and had a sense of entitlement even larger than his father had.

However from the first day he had woken up in St Mungo's he had been nothing but overly agreeable, obedient and painfully shy. Refusing to go to Hogwarts had been the most defiant thing he had even tried to do, and the effort of going against the headmaster had seemed to completely deplete him. He had looked terrified after making his wishes of going back to his relatives known, as if he regretted every word he had said and feared the repercussions. This Potter was exceptionally quiet and careful, overly wary and very measured with what he would or wouldn't say. Rather than being prone to outbursts he was reluctant to say anything at all and seemed to try to take up as little space as possible. He was gracious and well mannered and if his name hadn't been Potter Severus thought he probably could have perhaps tolerated the boy.

A personality change as a reaction to the trauma he had recently been through would be expected, except that Potter didn't actually remember any of the trauma. Perhaps if the memories were suppressed as a way to deal with what he had been through it would have explained his change in character, but the memories were not suppressed they were completely gone. Severus had used legilimency on him to try and see what, if anything, he remembered but there had been nothing. Just emptiness, open vacant space where the last year should have been. The trauma that Severus had been so sure would completely break the boy was just completely gone.

Without his last year of memories the boy should be exactly how he was before he came to Hogwarts, and Severus highly doubted this was what Potter had been like before Hogwarts. The severe anxiety and fear of magic was likely instinctual, his mind may not remember the trauma but it still happened and his body knew it. That fear reaction could be managed over time and the panic attacks should lessen, as long as Potter did the work required to do so. The meekness though, the way he refused to meet anyone's eyes and stared at the floor when he talked, the way he shied away whenever he was directly addressed and seemed to agonise over his words before he said them, that Severus could not explain.

It made no sense for the boy to be so different now to the Potter he remembered acting up and causing mayhem in his class for the past year, reminding him day in and day out of just how much he had hated James Potter.

No, Severus thought absently as he sipped his drink. This mild mannered boy was more like Lily, perhaps he had inherited more than just her eyes after all. It didn't matter anyway, he supposed. The brat would be back to his old self if his memories returned by some miracle, or if they didn't, as he thought was most likely, he would probably get his confidence back once the shock of the situation had worn off. Severus supposed he better enjoy this quiet version of Potter while he could before the insufferable clone of James Potter made his return.

His musings were interrupted as the door opened, a freshly washed Potter came back out, dressed in the same baggy clothes as before. Potter clearly noticed the look of disapproval that Severus was unable to keep off his face, wincing slightly. "Sorry Sir." He said quickly. "I don't have anything to change into."

Of course. They hadn't brought anything with them from the muggles' house. He frowned, wondering what the best solution would be. He could conjure new clothes, but with the way Potter had reacted to even small displays of magic so far he wasn't sure if that was the best idea. He could summon a house elf to bring some but that too would probably alarm the brat. "One moment, Potter." He said finally, turning around and going into the bedroom on the other side of his quarters.

He reached into his own closet and pulled out a simple pair of sleeping pants and a long sleeved top. He tapped both with his wand and muttered an incantation to make them shrink, adjusting them to what he approximated to be Potter's size. He went back into the main room and held them out to Potter, who took them after carefully inspecting them for a moment.

"Thank you, sir." He said softly, looking at the clothing like it was something to be treasured. "I really appreciate it." Severus blinked, struggling to take the boy at his word and instead feeling suspicious at his overly thankful words. It was just pyjamas, after all.

He grunted in response and motioned to the couch, gesturing for Potter to take a seat. Once he did he turned back towards the stairs, stopping just before he went down. "I'll be downstairs brewing your next dose. Sit quietly and touch nothing." The boy nodded mutely, his eyes trained on what Severus was doing. He wondered how on earth he was meant to amuse a twelve year old in his quarters for however many days it would take before he could go home. It was only a matter of time before Potter broke something, either intentionally or accidentally, and Severus knew he would struggle to control his temper when that inevitability occurred. He wondered, not for the first time that day, what on earth he had gotten himself into and cursed Dumbledore under his breath once again.