notes: sex mention
PART 2
Morning kisses were new to Honoka. Night kisses she knew, in the privacy of Comfort Inns and deserted bus stops, but never had Umi and Kotori kissed her in the daylight. (It was not out of cruelty, no, but two gay ex idols dating was bad enough, they said; three gay ex idols dating was entirely too much of a walking scandal.) It was only during finals week that Honoka had been kissed in the sunshine, holding hands with Maki across campus. It dawned on her, with Maki's warm hand pressed against hers, that this was the first time she'd experienced PDA.
Maki's presence in her bed always surprised her in a pleasant way; as if waking up from a good dream and finding an even better one curled up against her. Maki was an ardent cuddler, to Honoka's surprise. As if she had never received proper affection, and every moment spent with Honoka might be her last. Honoka tried to ease her with caresses and words; we'll do all of the holidays together, she told Maki after an especially bad phone call home, I'll teach you how to make candies for Halloween. Every morning was spent in a soft blur of touch and talk, finding new things about each other's bodies. Maki had found a small scar on the back of Honoka's knee, and liked to kiss it before moving upwards; in a position Honoka had no idea she liked before Maki had discovered it. Maki was an experimenter, and after they had established a level of comfort in their affections, Maki was always finding a new thing to try. (Honoka did not mind in the slightest.) Collarbones were a weak point for Maki, and even the slightest press of them brought sounds Maki's roommate would complain about for weeks to come.
No matter how early or late, mornings were always the best part of Honoka's day. A respite. Shelter from the storm outside the bedroom.
She'd gotten better at hiding her things, after the first morning together Honoka had been vigilant about keeping her research away from Maki. Somewhere she knew Maki's worry had been growing, now with a certain curiosity as well. It was natural. But she had to keep Maki away from it. Honoka was close, so close, and she could not afford to let anyone stop her; lover or otherwise.
Honoka wished, not for the first time, that she was free of the itinerary in the back of her mind. That she did not have to follow the path set for her.
The first morning of the new semester had been in Maki's bed, Maki's arms. Honoka had made them breakfast- blueberry pancakes- while Maki brewed the coffee. (A very difficult job, Maki said, with a sideways glance.) Maki's roommate Sono had adjusted to Honoka's constant presence by now, not even lifting an eyebrow whenever Honoka came out pantless. "Nice underwear" was the only response to Honoka's bright orange lace bikini cut. It was a sunny morning, and a soft filter was cast over the scene. Maki was relaxed; talking, chattering even with Sono as Honoka flipped the pancakes.
"We'll be taking a genetics course together, and some strange physics professor. Our schedules are so similar that we just decided to take all of our class together."
Sono shook her head at the last statement, "Dr. A, right? I heard she does a lot of weird experiments for the government. Those pancakes smell really good, Kousaka."
Honoka inspected the pancakes. They looked done, and she begun to move over to serve them on the lavender plates. Maki smiled at her before continuing, "Yeah, she's supposed to be really good or something. She could be working wherever she wanted. I heard she used to work for some European company doing all of these complicated theories."
Honoka's hands shook. A muffled thud. The pancake had missed the plate and ended up on the table. Why was she trembling? She apologized in her most devil-may care voice and willed herself to think in numbers instead of words or feelings. Maki's eyes were resting on her now; Honoka turned away, not wanting to lie to Maki with her voice.
When they left for the train, Honoka gave her an extra squeeze of the hand and tried to coax the worry out of her eyes with promises of lunch and an evening free of homework. The "evening free" did the trick, and Maki's expression turned thoughtful and excited.
"You got anything interesting planned, Maki?"
Maki kissed her cheek, "You'll just have to find out."
The first day back was what Honoka expected: doing absolutely nothing. As the lecturers went over the syllabus, Honoka poured over her notes. This day, this time, this variable. It would come together. It would work, it would really work. A few more tweaks and… a cold sweat ran down her neck. She hadn't thought about what this would mean for everyone else.
Many of her classmates greeted the pair with a newfound excitement, news of them dating had spread fast and most of the girls- and even some of the professors- were happy for them. Motomiya- Honoka's roommate- had actually squealed when she saw Honoka and Maki eating lunch at the café together.
It was the class with Dr. A, Honoka thought, that was the main thing of importance today.
Dr. A was a formidable woman. Honoka had only seen her from a distance in large lectures she'd snuck into or in pictures from conferences. The pictures did not do her justice. There was an intenseness in her eyes that Honoka had never seen in a professor, or, well, anyone. As the student poured into the muted classroom, she did not look up once, but flipped through her papers, as if there was an answer to be discovered in them.
Honoka pretended she did not notice Maki looking at Honoka, and the professor, and Honoka back again.
At two PM exactly, Dr. A closed the door, and began to talk.
Her voice was a powerful whisper and did not rise above it. All other conversation stopped, as if by magic. Only the sound of a clock could be heard. The quietness forced them to listen in rather than let the words pass over. She was not a statuesque woman, but rather slight and angular, like a walking dagger. Her one-inch heels tapped against the floor with authority when she paced, every lecture must have taken her a mile. Something drove her from the inside, as if a tightly wound watch.
Honoka had read all of her papers at least five times, but even this introductory syllabus day was intense. Space and time, mathematics that went from numbers to the underlying building blocks of the universe, plancks, complicated theories none of them had ever heard of before. Well, Honoka had, but the rest of the class looked very lost. Maki was frowning as she looked over the syllabus, almost uncertain.
"…I do not expect all of you to understand this. But I expect you to show up and do the work. I will not tolerate failure. You are permitted to get it wrong, but you are not permitted to give up. That is all for today. Class dismissed," Dr. A finished, sitting down at the desk, "Please look over the readings for next week, we will be discussing them in depth."
The students trickled out with low murmurs of confusion. Maki widened her eyes at her.
"Did you get any of that? God, I'm supposed to studying for med school… I mean, I can do it. Don't get me wrong."
"I'm sure you can, Maki, you aren't a genius for nothing."
Maki reddened, bright as a cherry tomato, "Yeah, yeah. Guess we're not having a free evening after all."
"We can do it! It was our last class. I'm going to go talk to Dr. A, meet you in the library?"
"Okay, I'll get you a hot chocolate. See you, Honks." Maki left, black dress swinging in the draft. Honoka admired her exit, giving herself time to work up the courage to talk.
It was just her and Dr. A now, who had not looked up from her work once since class ended.
Well, waiting around wasn't going to make this go faster. Honoka stepped down the lecture hall, hands clenched in her orange hoodie. She'd read so much of her work. It was like she'd know Dr. A like old friends, right?
"Hi, Dr. A. My name in Honoka Kousaka and I'm a student of yours. Nice to meet you!"
Dr. A looked up. To Honoka's surprise, she had deep purple eyes. With a push of the glasses, Dr. A regarded Honoka with an almost look, "Are you that ex-school idol emailing me all those strange questions over break?"
She was on to her, "Ahahaha, um, yes, I thought I'd introduce myself properly. Thank you again by the way, it was a big help. Pleased to meet you finally."
"Oh. Yes. Very. Do try not to send me strange questions about lasers and gravity at four in the morning from now on," Dr. A actually smiled at her now, "You'll get there. Now go do your homework. See you at the meteor site, Honoka Kousaka."