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21
Blood of my blood
«Didn't you expect it, son? I would swear all the soldiers I crushed out here were waiting exactly for me.»
His voice comes from every corner and from none and this makes me feel trapped, surrounded by a danger that I cannot see. An ironic metaphor of what reality is.
«What are you here for?» my voice cracks with anger as I turn my attention away from the monitor.
«I'm here to stop you, like that idiot snitch brother of yours told you. I'll have a chat with him too, later. In the meantime, come out of there, let's talk about it face to face.»
My first instinct is to go along with him but something immediately alerts me and, suddenly, I figure out. He attacked the spaceship while I'm still inside it; he knows he can't kill me this way, but he equally knows that he can destroy the entirety of my troops with a single blow. His is a clever trap, but a trap nonetheless.
«I won't leave the ship. If you want to blow it up, you'll have to do it with me on board.»
He shrugs.
«I would be sorry, but if you ask me like this…»
I know he would never do it: he wouldn't risk killing me in the explosion. However, I can't deny a growing terror: he intends to take down my entire army, and only now I realize how serious of a mistake was taking it all with me. The thought of losing it all fills me with a dreadful urgency.
The ship turns, suddenly; I hear another hiss which, this time, is swallowed up by the depths of open space. He couldn't have missed on purpose, this was just a warning.
«Come on, Frieza, don't make me ask you twice. Get out of there, or I'll have to come and get you the hard way.»
I have no choice, but I'll do it my way. I leap into the throne. All around me the pilots and Sentinels are following my father's movements through the windows of the ship. They don't dare interrupt the communication to regain possession of the monitors, perhaps not to upset me.
«Idiots, turn the screens back on!» my fist crashes against the base of the chair, next to the button panel. I can't hold back my anger. «You're useless!» I growl.
A few moments later the communication with my father is interrupted and the screens show the dreadful display that should have been there from the beginning: an immense spaceship approaching. It's huge and incredibly fast, and I have never seen it in the hangars of the Palace: it must have been commissioned for the occasion. What an honor.
I observe Zarbon and Dodoria trying to follow me but they have not yet recovered their balance and are struggling to reach my speed. I go around the corner leaving them behind: I don't need them.
When I'm inside, the mechanical doors seal and the top hatch opens, quickly but too slow for my liking. I feel contrasting emotions. I can't face him, I don't have the means to do so, but the anger is so uncontrollable that I have to force myself to suppress it. Letting my body mutate was the worst idea I could have had, but now it's too late to try to go back.
I empty my lungs and force myself not to tremble. As I thought, he is waiting for me right at the top, standing, with his arms crossed on his chest. His ship comes close until it almost touches mine, then he jumps onto it with a triumphant smile on his face. Unbearably triumphant.
I jump out of the throne, placing my feet on the ground, and only now do I realize how difficult it is to keep my balance.
«You followed me crawling like a worm. You occupied my monitors with your call, so that I couldn't notice you approaching. You destroyed my outer Sentinels and finally attacked me from behind like a coward… tell me, is all this worthy of a King?»
He nods in disapproval.
«You're lucky: I could have been any other enemy intent on destroying you. As I imagined, the farther you go from the Court the more foolishly confident you become. I should never have given you permission to leave.»
«I don't need your permission anymore. Now I'm over your level.»
«Are you, really? Or you mean, you and your perfect army that will soon blow up like a balloon? I wouldn't be so sure.»
I cannot deny that the danger is real. I got caught off guard like an idiot and this is what I end up with. Damn!
He looks at me, condescendingly. He should know that if I fear it's only for my men: I alone could take down his ship exactly as he's doing with mine. The substantial difference is that his army is immense, spread across his hundreds of planets, while mine is all concentrated in here: losing it would mean to go back to square one.
«What do you want from me, then? Are you here hoping to hear me begging for forgiveness? Maybe to see me bowing to you?»
«It would be really nice, but you would never do it. No, I just want to educate you, Frieza, like a good father should. I want to prove you that you are worth nothing of what you think, and maybe it's time you learn to give your army the value it deserves.»
«A good father! Leave me alone, damn it!» I scream at him. «Go back to your System and leave mine to me!»
«If that were the case I would have no reason to bother you, but do you think I forgot all your threats? All your "I'll come back to get you" also addressed to Cooler? And the matter of the Aster? That's not good, Frieza. It's past time someone taught you that you can't get everything you want inflicting terror!»
«Terror made me big. It brought me where I am! Stop talking to me like I'm a child and look at me, I'm an Emperor now!
«Emperor? You, who have no brain and only act driven by anger? You are not fit to rule and never will be. You have no morals.»
«And what's the point of having morals when you have everything else?» it makes me laugh. He snorts.
«I'm done. I've tried hard enough to make you understand, in the whole life I spent keeping up with you and trying to fix your mistakes.»
«And what did you exactly do for me, besides repressing me?» I accuse him. Disdain explodes on his face.
«What did I do for you? I kept you hidden when everyone was looking for you and wanted to destroy you. I protected you with the blood of our kind. Don't forget that, because of you, we fled like criminals, losing our place among the Clans and, for all we knew, we would have died wandering in space. All this for you, and this is how you repay me?»
«I didn't ask you to give birth to me. I'm not to blame for any of this, and you know it. But who am I kidding? You only created me because you knew I would be this powerful and believed I would join you in your conquest. You wanted a weapon, not a son, father. That's why you'd rather flee your whole life than hand me over to the Clans. Or would you like to tell me that you did it because you care about me? Because you love me? Don't be ridiculous!»
He seems struck by my words but I don't understand why. Did I get the point, or is he simply outraged?
«You were born for this, it's true, but I shaped you from arcosian ice with my energy and my blood. How could I not care about you? You're the one who has no idea what a bond is. You're a loose cannon that does nothing but destroy everything it touches. Including your own planet and your own people! Including blood of your blood!»
There is something in his last words that disturbs me, but I don't show it.
«I wonder if you would murder me too, if you could.»
I tense up as I clearly read what lies in his words which, perhaps, doesn't really require an answer.
We haven't talked about him for decades, since the event happened. Since Froze's death, even his memory seems to have faded away and none of us have ever dared to bring it back. Who knows if he thinks about him, if he misses him... remembering must be so painful that he doesn't even have the intention of doing it.
I feel a tightening in my chest. If only I spoke now... if only I released those words that have remained trapped for too long, scratching me from the inside, what would my dear father think? What would he say about me?
But what am I feeling? I spent my entire life in denial. I, the Great Frieza, have had to lie to myself my entire existence. And now I could let that secret come to light… but would it be worth it?
I feel my heart beating more than it should, my muscles tensing. The answer is no, it wouldn't be worth it and it would be the worst thing I could say right now, but now I've crossed the line.
I clench my fists. The memories return, overwhelming, and this time I can't hold them back anymore.
«Frieza! Where are you?»
«I'm here!»
I hide behind a huge stalagmite rising from the ground. I hear his footsteps approaching, exactly as I want.
«Will you stop hiding? Cooler has already left and our father is waiting for us outside in the freezing cold. What are these little children's games? Frieza! Damn it!»
I delve even further into the depths of the cave, into coves that I didn't even believe existed, taking care to leave any kind of trace behind me. Chipped ice, footprints, sounds, even the light of my aura. Thanks to these, he chases me.
When I think I'm far enough I stop in the center of a large clearing and wait for him. He arrives after a few moments and looks at me, dazed.
«What the hell are you doing?» he says, moving forward. «Come on. We can't waste time.»
«Don't tell me what to do.»
He freezes where he is, crossing his arms.
«We could have left without you if we weren't fleeing because of you. You should at least show us some respect.»
«You are the one who should show me more respect. Do you know who you are talking to?»
«What do you mean?»
«Nobody makes fun of me. Nobody! Neither Cooler, nor my father, nor you, Froze. Do you think you can talk behind my back without being overheard?»
He instantly understands what I'm referring to. He shrugs.
«I'm sorry about what you heard. You weren't supposed to listen. But I take nothing back, Frieza. I hate this life and I hate the reason why we are forced to run away.»
«You hate me, then.»
«Our father is right, you are not to blame for being a mutant. So no, I don't hate you. But I mean what I said. You have no right to force us into this life.»
«I didn't decide to be born. I didn't even decide to have so much power. And yet, I have it.»
«A power that forced your family to abandon the nobility and flee. Do you think it's fair to us?»
«It's none of my business. Fair or not, I won't let anyone endanger me. If you think that I will ever hand myself over to the Clans and sacrifice myself for your redemption, you're wrong.»
«That's what a coward would say.»
I clench my fists so much it hurts.
«Don't you dare, Froze.»
«And why? That's who you are. A coward who only manages to escape and does nothing to stop it. You deserve this life. We don't have the power to face the entire people of Arcos, but you do, and yet you keep letting father handle it. You're a coward!»
«Don't you dare!» I scream. The anger I feel explodes around me in a wave of energy that breaks the ice and melts it. Froze is not intimidated, he's confident. Too much.
«I told you to respect me!» I scream, but he smiles. He doesn't understand the magnitude of his words. He doesn't understand that I'm not a friend of him, I'm not someone to mess with. We have the same blood in our veins and this may make us brothers, but it does not eliminate the differences between us.
«I respect whoever I want. Now come, before our father comes looking for us and gets lost in these caves.»
He turns to go back and takes a few steps.
Too confident.
He freezes. His knees give out, his legs bend: he collapses to the ground, trembling, and everything around him slowly turns purple.
The energy blow slowly vanishes, leaving behind only a deep hole in the ice and through my brother's chest. He barely turns around, lying on his back, looking in shock at my finger still extended towards him.
«Frieza…»
What I feel right now is something that affects me deeply. I start to tremble. My lungs contract spasmodically, I can't breathe. My eyes fill with tears. The hatred inside me is overwhelmed by pity and pain. By fear. The blood that flows on the ice is the same that flows through my veins, the same that now seems to have stopped together with my heart; the one that's dying before me is my brother, blood of my blood. But this sensation lasts a moment: it doesn't disappear, not completely, but soon the inherent hatred I feel towards the Planet, towards the Universe, towards my own existence, returns to predominate.
«Why did you do this to me, Frieza?»
Coward.
Coward.
Coward.
That word keeps bouncing around in my head, from one side of my skull to the other, and every time it comes back, the fury inside me grows a little more. The tears, the only ones my face has ever seen and will ever see, freeze and fall.
I take a few steps and look down at him as he slowly bleeds out.
«So that you may understand who is the coward among us, Froze.»
«You're a bastard» he spits at me, but it no longer has an effect on me.
«Your words will be your epitaph. You wanted to get rid of me and you will be remembered as a traitor. It's what you deserve. And now die!»
A second blow crosses his chest right next to the first one. He collapses, without another word, and his head remains bent over the purple shaded ice.
Hate. I feel hate. Hate for him, but above all for myself, because I realize that despite everything, I'm still shaking.
The fear and the pain of that moment remained somehow stuck inside me, but now I can mask them. I look at my father without him even remotely imagining how much it costs me to recall those memories and that name, and absolutely unaware that yes, I'd kill him if I could, if I wasn't so afraid of feeling that sensation again and of adding another ghost to those that torment me.
Why did you do this to me, Frieza?
«So?» he taunts me.
If you only knew how much I had to say...
Yet, for some reason, I can't speak.
Coward.
«I assume you understand. I'm not here to threaten you or bring you back to Court, I just want you to know the rules from now on: no more disturbances around my System. No more interference with my planets. No more disrespect towards me. The next time I intervene it won't be enough for you to distribute your men on a hundred planets: they will all end up like that beautiful blue planet.»
I don't answer, I can't speak. I'm paralyzed by the amount of emotions I'm feeling. To my relief he turns, leaping towards his ship.
«I hope these scary moments have taught you something. Oh, I almost forgot… kill the poor Granium. He was only following my orders.»
I don't know how does he know about Granium but I don't care either: the only thing I want is for him to disappear.
He returns to his ship, turning around and slipping into the upper hatch which slowly closes behind him.
Next chapter:
Team work