Chapter 2
It had been about a week since Amy and Ivy had moved in with Rachel and everyone was gradually getting used to the arrangement. Ivy was still very nervous around the house; however, she was slowly starting to feel a bit more relaxed. Amy kept herself to herself most of the time, Rachel had tried talking to her many different occasions however it was pretty obvious that Amy didn't trust her and certainly wasn't going to start opening up to her just yet.
It was a Saturday evening and Rachel was getting some stuff out ready for dinner when Amy came into the kitchen.
Rachel smiled at her as she walked in and to her surprise Amy actually smiled back at her
"Hey love, dinner won't be for a while yet so if you want to get a snack to keep you going feel free"
"No it wasn't that, I was wondering if I could ask you something"
"Of course, you can" Rachel said, she put down the onion she was chopping and turned to face Amy
"Well it's just I kind of miss my friends from home a lot at the moment, and well there's this little party thing going on tonight, so I was wondering if I could go"
Rachel thought about it for a moment, on one hand she really didn't like the idea of Amy going to a party she knew nothing about especially when Amy was only 14, however she also didn't want to push Amy even further away from her and she needed something to cheer her up.
"Erm, will there be alcohol at this party?"
"No, it's only a small gathering, not a proper party" Amy lied
Rachel still wasn't entirely convinced but decided to give Amy a bit of trust and let her go
"Okay well if you promise me there's not going to be any alcohol there, then I'm fine for you to go"
"Thanks Rachel" Amy said smiling
"I'm trusting you Amy, please don't let me down"
Amy knew fine well she probably would end up letting her auntie down, but she honestly didn't care. Amy had been let down by so many people in her life, she didn't trust anyone and didn't even want to try and build relationships with them, everyone she'd ever been close to had ended up leaving her anyway.
"I won't do"
"Okay I'll drop you off their later" Rachel said
"Thank you, is it alright if I go about half 7?"
"Yep that should be fine"
Amy left to go upstairs and start getting ready, while Rachel continued to get on with making tea.
She was just adding the bolognaise sauce to the mince when she saw the door open slightly. However, she was a bit confused when nobody came in so opened it up and saw Ivy stood there looking a bit nervous.
"Hey Ivy, did you want me?"
Ivy just nodded her head in response
"What's up love?"
Ivy didn't say anything in response, just looked at the ground
"I'll tell you what, how about you come and give me a hand with tea" Rachel said
It worried Rachel how quiet Ivy was, she wouldn't talk unless she was directly spoken to and even then, it would often just be one-word answers mumbled under the breath. It was hardly surprising after everything she'd been through, Rachel just wished she could help Ivy settle in properly. She'd almost like it if Ivy misbehaved a little bit, or was a bit cheeky to her, as this would show she felt more relaxed here.
"Do you want to do me a favour and grab a wooden spoon, you can stir the sauce round the pan"
Ivy grabbed a spoon and started stirring
"hey, you're doing a good job there" Rachel said smiling at her
"Rachel?" Ivy said suddenly
"Yes love"
"Do I have to go to school on Monday still?" Ivy stammered
Rachel sighed, she should have guessed what this was about. On Friday Rachel had decided that it was time to get the girls back into school, she thought that getting them into a proper routine would be good for them and would help them settle in. Amy hadn't seemed too bothered about it, she was going to be starting at Waterloo road. However, as soon as Rachel had told Ivy the plan she hadn't seemed happy at all and was even quieter than usual.
"Yes Ivy, and when you go you're going to enjoy it I promise"
Tears suddenly filled Ivy's eyes
"No I won't I'm not going and you cant make me" Ivy screamed
Rachel was shocked at Ivy raising her voice like that, but before she had chance to respond Ivy ran off upstairs, clearly terrified she was going to get into trouble for shouting.
Rachel decided to give her a bit of space and go and talk to her later
About 15 minutes had passed, so Rachel put the bolognaise on to simmer and went upstairs
She knocked on Ivy's door before entering
As soon as Ivy saw her auntie she backed away into the corner of her room, she was still crying
"Go away, you can't hit me because I'll get Amy to hit you back" Ivy said, she was trying to sound brave but there was fear evident in her voice
"ivy I …" Rachel said walking over to her
"Get away from me, don't come any closer" Ivy screamed
It made Rachel feel so upset that Ivy still felt that she was going to hurt her, but after the abuse she'd suffered from her parents in the past it was completely understandable
"Ivy I'm not going to hit or do anything to hurt you and I never will." Rachel said "I promise you I am not going to touch you, come on come over here"
"Yes, you will, you'll say that and then you still will" Ivy sobbed "I'll never know that you definitely won't hit me if I come over to you"
Rachel's heart melted hearing Ivy say this, it made her want to cry realising how scared she was
"You know what you're absolutely right Ivy" Rachel said
"So, you are going to hit me?"
"No, you're right in that you can't tell for definite that I'm not going to hurt you if you come over here" Rachel said "you've just got to trust me. In the week you've been living here, have I ever given you some sort of reason not to trust me? Have I ever spoken nastily to you? Have I hurt you? Have I ever made you do something you don't want to do"?
Ivy started to calm down a little
"no" Ivy said, "But I keep thinking you still might"
"I know you do and I understand that Ivy." Rachel said calmly "Have I ever told you what my job is?"
"You work in a school"
"Yeah that's right. For nearly 20 years now I've been a teacher and now I'm a head teacher, I've spent half my life working with children, do you really think I'd do that if I wanted to hurt them"
"No" Ivy said
"How about you come over here then" Rachel said
Ivy thought about it for a few seconds and then slowly came out the corner and over to Rachel
Much to Rachel's surprise, Ivy suddenly wrapped her arms around Rachel
"Hey Ivy, its okay" Rachel soothed
"I'm so sorry for shouting"
"Don't worry, you were scared weren't you huh, but I promise you don't have to be scared anymore"
"Do I still have to go to school?"
"Ivy why don't you want to go to school?" Rachel asked gently
"I'll hate it, everyone will be really scary"
"No love its really not like that, I've had a look around and everyone seemed lovely, your class teacher was so friendly"
"Really?"
"Yes I promise, look I'll make you a deal you give it a try for me for one week and if you really don't like it I'll find somewhere else for you to go"
"Okay"
"So we've got a deal then"
Ivy thought for a moment "Yeah"
Rachel and Ivy talked for a bit longer, but then Rachel realised she had to finish the tea off before it burnt
About 10 minutes later it was ready, so she called everyone down
By now all the girls were starving so came straight downstairs
However, once Gaby saw what it was she pulled a face
"what's wrong Gaby you love spag bol" Rachel said
"It's got meat in, I told you yesterday I don't want to eat meant anymore, I want to be a vegetarian"
Rachel sighed and rolled her eyes exasperated, she was only half listening when Gaby had been going on about it the other day and hadn't realised she was being serious
"why do you want to be a vegetarian, you like meat?" Rachel asked
"Yes but just because I like it, doesn't mean it's right. It's disgusting how we torture millions of animals every year just, so we can eat them, there's loads of food we could have instead and I'm not eating any more meat"
"Well I've cooked it now, what difference does it make"
"Because I'd rather not eat dead cow"
"Oh Gaby stop it, some of us want to enjoy it" Rachel said
"Don't tell me to stop it, you're the one who should stop eating dead animals"
"Gaby up until yesterday you were fine with it, if you don't want to eat meat anymore then that's fine, but you can make your own meals and you won't stop anyone else eating what they chose to eat" Rachel said firmly "Now are you going to have your spaghetti or not?"
Reluctantly Gaby picked up her fork and started eating
Rachel smiled to herself, knowing this whole being a vegetarian thing would last all of two minutes
"I used to be a vegetarian Gaby" Amy said
Rachel was surprised, it was unusual for Amy to speak at all over dinner, normally she'd finish her food as quickly as possible then go back to her room
"Did you really" Gaby said
"Yeah, then one day I was at my friends and I could smell bacon and couldn't resist" Amy said causing them all to laugh
"Are you looking forward to your party later Amy?" Rachel asked
"Yeah it'll be so good, I'm really excited to see all my friends"
"You're letting Amy go to a proper party, that's so unfair you'd never let me go to one" Gaby sulked
"Amy's 2 years older than you are Gaby and besides it's not a proper party anyway is it Amy?"
"No just a few of us going round my friend Beth's house" Amy said, "You can help me get ready if you like"
"Really! Will show me how to do your eyes how you do them"
"Sure"
"Well don't you go getting any ideas young lady, you're far too young to be wearing lots of makeup" Rachel said, although she didn't mind really, it was nice to see Amy being nice to Gaby as she'd love it if they got on properly
They actually had a really nice meal together and Amy even offered to wash up afterwards
"No, it' alright love, you go and get ready" Rachel said, "Thanks for offering though, it's more than I'd ever get off Gaby"
As Amy went upstairs, Rachel smiled it was so nice to see her trying to get on with people.
Amy and Gaby were sat on the bed in Amy's room
"You've got such nice makeup" Gaby said, "Mum doesn't let me wear much"
"Thanks, you can borrow mine anytime"
"Really?"
"Yeah sure, you're lucky though, you're naturally pretty I look awful without makeup on"
"No, you don't"
"Yeah, my skins awful, especially if I'm nearly due my period." Amy said, "Does yours ever get like that?"
Gaby's cheeks flushed slightly, she hadn't started her period yet but felt too embarrassed to admit this to Amy, she didn't want her to think she was a little kid still
"Yeah sometimes"
"It sucks to be a girl sometimes doesn't it?" Amy said smiling
Amy had grown quite fond of Gaby since she'd been living at Rachel's, she thought she seemed like a really nice girl
"I'm desperate for a fag, you won't tell Rachel if I stick my head out the window and have one will you"
Gaby was shocked when she heard Amy say this, she knew her Mum had caught Amy with one when she first moved In but didn't know she still had any
"I won't tell" Gaby said
Amy flashed Gaby a smile "Thanks babe"
Amy lit her cigarette out the window and took a drag
Gaby stared at her, she couldn't help but think it made Amy look really grown up when she was smoking
"Amy, can I try it?" Gaby asked timidly
"What? No way you're far too young, plus it's an awful habit"
"I only meant like to have a go, I don't actually want to start smoking"
"Oh, alright then, one drag, you'll hate it anyway" Amy said
Gaby smiled and went over to the window
Nervously she took the cigarette out of Amy's hand, she put it to her mouth and took a drag on it. Almost instantly she started coughing and spluttering
Amy laughed at her reaction
"What did I tell you"
"It wasn't too bad" Gaby lied, wanting to impress Amy
"Oh, come off it, you hated it and I'm not surprised" Amy said
She took a few more drags on the cigarette before stubbing it out and going back to finish getting ready
Gaby saw her reach in her bag and pull out a bottle of vodka
"Is that alcohol?"
"Yeah I've got to have something to get me in the mood for going out" Amy said grinning, she then took a few swigs of it and grimaced "Bloody hell that stuff is vile, still it gets you pissed quickly though"
"I thought you said no one was going to be drinking there"
"No that's what I told your Mum, of course we're going to be drinking in fact I intend on getting absolutely smashed, god knows I need it"
Gaby didn't feel entirely comfortable with this but didn't say anything
"I'm going to get changed, though actually I better just put some leggings and a top on for now since I told your Mum it was casual, I'll put my dress in the bag to get into later"
Amy got changed and then a few minutes later went downstairs
"Oh you look lovely Amy" Rachel said approvingly
"Thanks Rachel"
"Do you want to get going then"
"Yeah if that's okay"
Rachel got all the girls in the car and they headed off
It took about 15 minutes to get there
"Bye Amy have a nice time, let me know if your friend cant take you back and I'll come and get you, be home by 12"
"Thanks for the lift Rachel"
"No worries love"
Amy then went inside, she did feel a little guilty lying to her auntie when she'd been so nice to her this evening.
By the time they got back Ivy was starting to feel quite tired, so Rachel decided to put her to bed
"Right come on you bedtime" She said to Ivy
Ivy followed Rachel upstairs and into her bedroom
She got into her pyjamas and Rachel put her clothes in the washing basket
"Right if you brush your teeth and go to the loo, we might have time for a quick story before bed"
Ivy liked the sound of this so quickly went to the bathroom before running back to her room
Rachel read to her for a little while, but then Ivy started to grow very tired
"Should we leave the rest till tomorrow huh?"
"Okay" ivy said
Rachel then tucked her into bed properly, Ivy always liked It when she did this, it made her feel secure.
"Night and god bless my love"
"Night auntie Rachel"
"Remember to come through if you need me" Rachel said before slicking the light off and closing the door
Rachel then went downstairs and put some tv on with Gaby. It was nice for the two of them to spend some time together again, however Rachel did notice that Gaby didn't seem her normal self.
At about 9.30 Rachel decided to get Gaby to bed
"Right, I think its bed time, don't you?"
"Yeah I'm quite tired"
"Go and get yourself sorted then, I'll be up in a few minutes to say goodnight"
Gaby got ready and then got into bed
Rachel knocked on her door before coming in
She went over and sat down on her bed
"Gaby has something happened love?" Rachel asked
"No why?" Gaby asked
"You just seem a bit quiet that's all, you know you can tell me anything don't you?"
"Honestly Mum, I'm fine, I just feel really tired that's all"
Rachel wasn't entirely convinced, however she decided not to push it anymore.
"Okay, night darling sleep well"
"Night Mum"
Rachel then left and decided to get on with a little bit of work in her study, normally she liked to avoid work as best she could over the weekend however she had so much to do and didn't want to leave it all till tomorrow night.
By now Amy was completely drunk, she'd already been sick a few times and could barely see, however she wanted to get even worse. Drinking was the only thing that seemed to help, it helped her to black it all out.
All Amy's friends were starting to get a bit worried about her, they'd never seen her get this bad before
Amy went into the kitchen and grabbed some alcohol, by now she didn't care what she was drinking, she just wanted to black it all out.
Suddenly though she started to feel really unwell, so she took herself off to the bathroom, she tried to get to the toilet to be sick however she couldn't see where it was properly and ended up throwing up all over herself, she then collapsed to the floor, quickly falling unconscious
About 10 minutes passed when suddenly one of Amy's friends walked into the toilets
She gasped when she saw Amy on the floor and rushed over to her
"Amy can you hear me" she said trying to shake her awake
However, Amy didn't respond to her
Jasmine called Amy's other best friend into the toilet and together they tried to get her to wake up but she barely stirred
"Should we call for an ambulance"
"Yeah, I think we'd better, we should let her auntie know too"
"Amy said she hates her though"
"Well we still need to tell her, where's her phone I know her password"
Chloe grabbed Amy's bag and passed it to jasmine, who found Rachels number
Rachel was just about to go to bed when she heard her phone ringing, she saw it was Amy so quickly answered it, thinking she must need a lift back or something
"Hey Amy, is everything okay?"
"hello it's jasmine, I'm one of Amy's friends, she's in a really bad way"
Hearing this instantly made Rachel feel worried and extremely let down by Amy
"What you mean she's drunk"
"Yeah, she passed out in the toilets and she'd been sick and wet herself, we don't know whether to call for an ambulance"
Hearing how serious this all sounded made Rachel panic
"Is she conscious?"
"No not really, she stirred a tiny bit but then just went back to sleep"
"Right, can you call the ambulance, tell them exactly what's happened, I'll be there as soon as I can. Thanks so much for letting me know"
Jasmine put down the phone, she was surprised how nice Rachel sounded, Amy had portrayed her quite differently to how she sounded now
Rachel quickly got together a change of clothes for Amy and put them in a bag
She decided to wake up Gaby and tell her to keep an eye on Ivy while she was out, normally she wouldn't leave Ivy alone, but she didn't want her seeing Amy in this state. If Amy did end up needing to go to hospital she would ring her Mum and tell her to come and help look after the girls.
Once Rachel had woken up Gaby she grabbed her car keys and rushed out the house
She drove as quickly as she possibly could, and just hoped she'd avoided any speed cameras.
After what seemed like forever she arrived at the house
The party was still in full swing and Rachel felt very out of place making her way through a load of drunk teenagers
Suddenly Jasmine spotted Rachel and went up to her
"Hi Rachel, she's just through here"
Rachel followed Jasmine through and soon spotted Amy unconscious on the floor
"Oh my god" She said before rushing over
"Amy love, can you hear me" Rachel said trying to shake her a bit
When Amy didn't respond Rachel decided to prop her head up onto her lap, she noticed Amy was shivering slightly
"Girls can you do me a favour, can you go and find me some blankets and bring through a glass of water please, I'll get her changed, I'm going to lock this door, so no one comes in but just knock when you come back okay?"
"Yeah sure" Jasmine said before going off with Chloe
Rachel locked the door and turned to Amy
"Amy I'm going to get you changed okay, get you into something a bit warmer and cleaner" Rachel said even though she wasn't sure if Amy could hear her
Luckily Amy had a strapless dress on, so it wasn't that difficult to ease her out of it
She's brought Amy some leggings and a jumper so got her into them
"There we go love, you're sorted now" Rachel said, "Can you hear me at all yet huh?"
Amy suddenly stirred a bit and nodded her head
"You can, oh that's great, what's my name Amy?"
"Rachel" Amy said faintly
"Good girl, now can you tell me what you've had to drink hmm, can you remember?"
"vodka"
"Vodka? Okay how much vodka Amy?"
"Bottle"
"Right, and have you had anything else, have you taken anything? It's okay you can tell me if you have"
"Shots"
"Shots of what?"
"Absinthe, sambuca"
Hearing how much she'd drank made Rachel even more worried but she was trying to stay calm
"How many shots?"
"4"
"Right okay, your friends have done a great job of looking after you haven't they huh? We've called for an ambulance to check you over, see if you need to go to hospital"
"Feel sick" Amy slurred
Rachel got her to sit up and put her head towards the toilet, where Amy suddenly started throwing up
Rachel tied Amy's hair back for her and rubbed her back
"That's it love you'll feel a bit better for that"
Amy's body suddenly went limp again and she fell to the floor
Rachel caught her and got her to sit upright
"Amy I'm going to keep you sitting up, just in case you're sick again okay"
There was a knock on the door and Amy's friends came back with blankets and pillows
"thanks girls"
Rachel then wrapped the blanket round her niece and tried to get her feeling more comfortable
"How long ago did you call the ambulance?"
"About 25 minutes ago" Jasmine said
"Right it shouldn't be too long then, thanks so much for looking after her"
"It's okay, is she going to be okay?"
"She seems a bit more alert now, so I'd say she's over the worst, they might still want to admit her though I don't know"
"is she going to get in loads of trouble?"
Rachel sighed before saying "I bet Amy's told you how much of a monster I am hasn't she"
The two girls looked at each other uncomfortably
"It's alright girls, I know she's not my biggest fan, and yes come tomorrow she's going to be in for the biggest lecture of her life but right now I just want to make sure she's okay that's all"
"My mum would kill me if I ever got like this"
"Well I'm not exactly happy about it, but Amy's had a really rough few weeks. How did she get in this state anyway?"
"She just kept on drinking, even when he was really bad. We told her to stop but she didn't"
"Well she'd lucky to have you both" Rachel said smiling "Send her a nice text in the morning, let her know you're still friends even if she has ended up like this"
"Yeah, we will, we weren't annoyed at her we just wanted to make sure she was okay"
"Well I'm sure she'll be absolutely mortified in the morning"
By the time the ambulance came, Amy was a lot more alert
The paramedic assessed her but decided she didn't need to be admitted to hospital and was okay to go home, Rachel was glad about this as she hadn't really fancied a night in hospital but would have stayed with Amy if she had been admitted
"Right I'm going to get her home, do you two girls want a life or do you want to stay longer"
"I'd love a lift if that's okay, I'm not really in the party mood anymore"
"Yeah me too"
Rachel smiled at them before helping Amy up and getting her into the car
Once she'd dropped Chloe and Jasmine off she turned her attention back to Amy
"Right you, let's get home yeah?"
By the time they'd got home Amy had sobered up quite a bit but was still in a pretty bad way and needed Rachel to help her upstairs to bed
"How do you feel now" Rachel said as she got Amy sorted
"Okay" Amy said but then suddenly tears filled her eyes
"Come and sit down a minute love" Rachel said
Amy sat next to her and suddenly started sobbing, Rachel sighed and brought her into her chest
"Hey come on it's okay, you're safe now"
"I wish I wasn't, I wish I'd drank so much I'd died" Amy cried
"No you don't, you don't mean that at all" Rachel said feeling worried by what Amy was saying
"Yes I do, my life's shit, everyone who was meant to look after me ended up abusing me, everyone I ever liked ended up leaving"
"You know what you're right, you've been dealt a pretty crap deal so far, but you're still young things can change and I'm not going to leave you"
"Why are you being nice?"
"I'm not a complete witch you know" Rachel sighed "despite what you think I do actually care about you and Ivy, a massive amount, and when I saw you tonight I was terrified"
Amy paused for a moment before saying "Thank you, and I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you"
"It's okay" Rachel said "Come on you need to get some sleep we can talk in the morning okay, I've brought a bucket up in case you're sick"
Rachel then tucked in her and left her to sleep
By the time she got to bed, Rachel was exhausted and fell asleep straight away
Amy actually woke up pretty early the next morning, some of last nights events came back to her and she started to feel more and more embarrassed, she didn't want to face Rachel this morning.
Rachel woke up at about 8, she got out of bed immediately to check on Amy.
When she walked into her room she was surprised to find her awake
"I wasn't expecting to find you awake. How's the head this morning?" Rachel asked
"Awful"
"I'm not surprised, look we need to have a proper talk about last night, come downstairs in 10 minutes"
Amy sighed but got out of bed a few minutes later, put her dressing gown on and went downstairs
She was surprised to see that Rachel had made her a coffee and put some biscuits out
"Thanks for the coffee"
"Come and sit-down Amy" Rachel said
Nervously Amy went and sat on the sofa next to Rachel
"I'm sorry about last night"
"Have you got any idea of the state you were in, you'd thrown up, wet yourself you were barely conscious when I found you"
Hearing this made Amy cry, she couldn't believe some of her friends had found her like that, she felt mortified
"I just cant believe you would get yourself like that, you're far too young to be drinking Amy" Rachel said "and you can't tell me ending up like that was fun, we had to call an ambulance for god's sake"
"I'm so sorry"
"It's not about you being sorry, its about you realising the danger you put yourself in, you could have died Amy"
"Drinking just helps with stuff, it helps me forget what Mum and Dad did"
Rachel couldn't help but feel sorry for her "Amy what they did to you and Ivy was horrific but getting in a state like last night won't help, trust me"
"How would you know"
"Trust me I know what its like to have someone who's supposed to protect you abuse you" Rachel said
"How do you mean?" Amy asked
Rachel took a deep breath and decided to open up to Amy "When I was quite a bit younger than you, my uncle, well he started to abuse me, not physically but sexually, he would make me feel so guilty for it, said it was what I wanted, what I deserved. I couldn't tell anyone, I was too scared, he would manipulate me into thinking it was entirely my fault. It was the worst time of my life Amy, and it nearly broke me. But in the end I told my Mum and she reported it in a second. It still hurts though even after all this time"
Amy sat feeling shocked at what her auntie had told her, she couldn't believe it. "Rachel I'm so sorry I had no idea"
"No and neither does anyone else, what I've just told you Amy, well it's in the strictest confidence. I've never told Gaby and I do not want her knowing okay"
"I won't tell her I swear"
"Good, and last night Amy, it can't happen again. I think it might be a good idea to set you up with some counselling, it could help"
"Okay" Amy mumbled
"Now I'm not going to go on about it anymore, you know why it was so stupid, and I'm going to ground you for 2 weeks"
"That's fair enough"
"It's more than fair after what you put me through last night, now go and shower, get ready for the day, you needn't think you're having a day in bed"
"Okay" Amy said smiling "Rach, thanks so much you know for .."
"It's okay" Rachel said giving her a smile "Go and get ready"
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