Chapter 14
A few weeks has passed by, and it finally seemed as though everything was getting back to normal. Hannah had settled in so much better now and was almost back to her normal self, of course she still got upset about her Mum every now and then, but she was back to being the sweet girl she was before.
It was a Sunday evening and Rachel was doing some work, she'd put Ivy to bed about 20 minutes ago, Hannah and Gaby were both doing some homework
Amy wasn't feeling very well so was in the living room on the sofa. She'd had a really high temperature all day and was also feeling quite sick. She'd been feeling really down over the past few weeks anyway; Amy had been seeing a guy a couple of years older than her for a little while and a month ago they'd decided to sleep together. Almost as soon as Amy did it she regretted it, she thought it would be different to that guy at the party, but it wasn't, it was awful. After they'd had sex he'd barely spoken to her and now she was feeling completely used and worse than that, her period was late.
She hadn't dared tell Rachel about it, even though she'd been quite nice in the end last time, she knew she'd go crazy if she made the same mistake again. She didn't know what to do, there was no way she could keep a baby at her age, but the thought of having an abortion made her feel terrible.
Amy couldn't believe how stupid she'd been, she hated herself for it, but he'd pressurised her into it so much.
Amy was so caught up in her own thoughts she didn't notice Rachel coming in
"Amy, do you want some water love?"
"Yes please" Amy said "Rach I feel really sick"
"I wonder what could have caused it, you've eaten the same things we have so it can't be the food"
Rachel put her hand to Amy's forehead
"You're burning up with fever, I think we better get this blanket off"
"but I feel shivery"
"I know, but you're boiling. You're clearly not very well" Rachel said "We'll go to the doctors tomorrow if you're no better"
"Can I go upstairs to bed, I feel really tired and my beds comfier than the sofa"
"Yes of course, why don't you get changed into your pyjamas, I'll get you some more medicine too"
Amy got up and went upstairs.
Rachel watched her as she went, she'd been a bit worried about Amy recently, she hadn't seemed her usual sparkly self.
She got some paracetamol before going upstairs
"Amy can I come in"
"Yeah" Amy said
When Rachel walked in Amy was just in her underwear, suddenly Rachel spotted something on Amy's stomach
"When the hell did you get that done! And why have I not been told anything about it until now" Rachel said sounding horrified
She was referring to the belly button piercing Amy had obviously snuck off to get
Amy had completely forgotten about hiding it from her auntie, like she'd been trying to do so carefully over the past few weeks
"Oh erm … I got it in town with Emma and Sian" Amy said quickly putting her pyjama shorts and vest top on
"And you didn't think to ask my permission" Rachel shouted
"I thought you'd say no"
"Too bloody right I'd have said no, it looks awful and you are only 14 years old, it's illegal at your age without an adults permission"
"I'm 15 now remember" Amy said. She'd turned 15 last week.
"Don't you dare try and be clever" she said
"I'm not being clever, I'm just making a point"
"Well I'll make a point too then, you're a child in my house and you'll live by my rules, I don't know what on earth possessed you to get it done. I bet wherever you got it done isn't very professional, why the hell wouldn't they ask you for ID"
"We got it done at that little place near Poundland in town"
"Please tell me you're joking young lady, Amy do you have any common sense? That's the grottiest place going, they probably didn't sterilise the needles they used" she said sounding really angry now
Suddenly something clicked.
"Let me have a look at it"
"Why? Are you thinking of getting one?" Amy said sarcastically
Rachel looked daggers at her, causing Amy to promptly shut up
"I really wouldn't try and make jokes with me Amy, I'm warning you it's really not a good idea. Now show me the piercing"
Amy sighed but rolled up her top
Rachel looked at it and rolled her eyes
"Amy that's clearly infected, look t how red and swollen it is. It looks pretty nasty to me" Rachel said
"I thought that was just normal"
"No it's not, I bet that's what's been making you feel unwell" Rachel said "I can't believe you sometimes Amy"
Amy couldn't believe how big a deal her auntie was making this into, if she over-reacted this much to a piercing, god knows what she'd do if she found out she could be pregnant
"Rachel, it's really not that big a thing"
"Well it is a big thing, you snuck off and got it done without my permission…"
"Because you wouldn't have given your permission" Amy cut in
Rachel chose to ignore her "And you decided to go to about the most unhygienic place going and to top it all off now you've got a flaming infection"
"Oh yeah because I'm sure when you were a teenager you were perfect" my retorted
"This is about you not me"
"Well you're a complete hypocrite, I know you got a tattoo once when you were my age"
Rachel couldn't think how Amy would know this, it was one of the stupidest things she'd ever done, one night her and a group of friends got really drunk and got daft tattoos on their arms, Rachel's Mum had gone crazy when she found out and had made her save up to get it removed
"How the hell do you know about that?"
Amy just shrugged her shoulders, not wanting to tell Rachel that a couple of months ago, she'd accidentally found one of her old diaries and she hadn't been able to resist reading just a little bit. She'd only read a couple of pages because she'd started to feel really guilty
"Well that still doesn't excuse this" Rachel said "Take that thing out before it gets even more infected"
Amy rolled her eyes but did as she was told
"I feel really ill" she said, it was true she was starting to feel even worse
"Well who's fault is it that you're feeling ill" Rachel snapped
She couldn't help but feel a bit bad, she knew how easy it was as a teenager to go along with what your friends were doing
"I'll get you a doctor's appointment for tomorrow morning, they can have a look at you, they'll be able to prescribe some antibiotics" Rachel said sounding a bit softer now
"What about school?"
"Well it doesn't look like you'll be well enough to go does it?" she sighed "I'll come to the doctor's appointment with you but then I'll have to get back to school so it'll be a day on your own I'm afraid"
"I'm sorry Rachel" Amy said feeling a bit bad now
"You better be" Rachel said, however she didn't sound too angry now
"I'm going to go to sleep now" she said "I feel shattered"
"Alright love, well if you feel like you're going to be sick, please, please try and make it to the toilet, won't you?"
"Yeah, I won't have you cleaning up sick Rach don't worry" Amy said smiling slightly
"Yeah you better not" Rachel said "Night, night"
"Night see you in the morning"
Rachel then flicked her light out for her and closed the door
She then decided to put Hannah to bed as it was past her bedtime
"Hannah, time for bed now" She said
Hannah didn't argue and followed Rachel up, as she was feeling quite tired now anyway
Rachel had tucked Hannah in and as about to leave when Hannah stopped her
"Rachel do you think I need a bra?" She asked, cheeks burning slightly
Rachel was glad Hannah had brought this up, she'd noticed she'd started to get a little bit of a figure recently
"Yeah I think it's probably a good idea, you probably don't need a proper one yet, but we'll go into town one evening this week and get one"
"Does it feel weird?"
"It probably does feel a bit strange at first, but you soon get used to it"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course,"
"You know you told me about periods"
"Yeah"
"How old were you when you started your period?"
"I was quite young, I think about 10"
"So I might start mine soon?"
"Maybe love, but some girls are quite a bit older, but the most important thing is that when it does happen you tell me, okay?"
Hannah nodded
"And you know if you've got any questions at all you can come and talk to me don't you?"
Hannah nodded
"Okay, are you going to go to sleep now then?"
"Yeah I'm really tired"
"Night then darling, love you"
"Love you" Hannah said before turning over and closing her eyes
Rachel smiled before flicking out the light
The next morning, she spent ages on the phone to the doctors trying to get Amy an appointment. Eventually she'd managed to get one for 9am which was good because it would mean she could go to work straight after.
She dropped the other girls off at school and then headed to the doctors with Amy
"You don't have to come in with me" Amy said
"Well I want to know what she says"
After a while Amy was called in
The doctor was very friendly and examined the area where the piercing had been
She asked Amy a few questions, but realised she was behaving a bit weirdly
"Right I'm going to prescribe some antibiotics, these should make you feel better. I just need to ask a few more questions first"
"Okay" Amy said
"Do you smoke"
"No"
"Drink alcohol"
"Sometimes, only when I'm at parties"
"How many units would you say you had"
"I don't know"
"What would you normally drink at a party"
"Maybe a bottle and a half of wine" Amy said, avoiding eye contact with Rachel, who rolled her eyes and sighed
The doctor said"You do realise what that can do to your body at such a young age don't you?"
"Yes"
The doctor decided to leave it there
"Is there any chance you could be pregnant?"
The doctor noticed Amy looked uncomfortable now, but she shook her head.
"Thanks for seeing her doctor" Rachel said "I'll try and make sure there are no repeats"
"Yes you need to be careful with piercings, they can be really nasty when they get infected" She said "Amy could I just have a quick chat in private, it won't take long"
Rachel was a bit confused by this but stepped outside anyway
The doctor waited until the door was closed before turning to Amy
"Is there something you want to tell me now your aunties gone?"
"What do you mean?"
"When I asked you could be pregnant, I noticed you paused. Is there a chance you could be pregnant?"
Amy paused for a moment and then nodded her head
"Is your period late"
"Yeah by about 2 weeks"
"Have you taken a test yet?"
"No"
"I'd strongly recommend you do one, then you can go through your options. Why don't you make another appointment with me later, without your auntie, then we can discuss things properly"?
"Okay" Amy said sounding a bit scared
She then went out and met up with her auntie
"Why did she want to speak to you"
"oh it was nothing, just to tell me why I should be drinking at my age"
"Well she's right! I couldn't believe it when you said how much you drink, you always tell me it's just a couple of ciders"
"Rach don't go on I'm not in the mood"
Rachel decided to leave it for now
"Right, I'll drop you off back at home, are you sure you'll be okay on your own?"
"Yeah I'll be fine"
Rachel dropped her off back home
"There's loads of stuff in the fridge for lunch, so just help yourself to whatever you fancy"
Amy was barely listening to her, she knew she had to go and buy a pregnancy test before her appointment this afternoon, but she was so nervous to find out the result.
Rachel made Amy a cup of coffee and brought it over to her before heading out, realising she really did have to get back to school now
"See you later love"
"Bye Rach"
"Call me if you need anything"
"Yeah I will do don't worry"
Rachel then went off.
Amy's head was spinning she felt physically sick at the thought of having to do the pregnancy test. She knew it needed to be done though
She waited a few more minutes before heading out and walking over to Tesco.
It didn't take her long to find what she was looking for.
There was no way she was going over to one of the tills to pay for it, she went straight to self-services.
Nervously she walked back home
Thoughts were whizzing through her head, she was certain it was going to come back as positive, she knew she couldn't keep it but the thought of having an abortion terrified her so much, it seemed like a horrible thing to do.
It took a good 15 minutes before Amy finally built up the courage to go and take the test.
She burst into tears when the result came up a few minutes after she'd taken it. It showed that she was pregnant.
Amy couldn't believe she' got herself into this mess. She'd made such a stupid mistake.
She knew she'd have to have an abortion, but there was no way she wanted her auntie finding out about it.
Amy spent a good hour crying her eyes out, wondering what on earth she was going to do about it.
Amy had rung the doctors back and they'd managed to get her in at 2.
Eventually she decided to get ready for her doctor's appointment, she desperately needed some advice
Obviously, Amy didn't have a car, so it took her quite a while to get there but finally she arrived
She felt so out of place being there by herself, she sat uncomfortably in her seat until eventually she got called in
"Amy sorry I'm running a bit late take a seat" Dr Green said "Did you take a test?"
Amy nodded and then burst into a fresh flood of tears
Dr green quickly grabbed some tissues
"I'm taking it that it wasn't good news then?"
"I can't believe I'm pregnant, I'm such an idiot"
"Hey you're not an idiot, I've seen plenty of young girls in your situation before, you made a mistake that's all" she said calmly "Have you given any thought to what you want to do?"
"I can't keep it, I know it's so awful, but I need an abortion"
"It's not awful Amy, it's your body and your choice"
"Will my auntie find out?"
"No, but I'd strongly recommend you tell her, it's such a big thing to have to go through alone"
"I can't tell her" Amy said "What do I have to do next?"
"Well I'll need to examine you, this will me exactly how far along you are and then after I've talked you to the procedure and you're still certain you want to go ahead, then I can book you in for the termination. I'd imagine you're still in the early stages, so you'll go to the clinic and you'll be given two pills, one to be taken straight away and the other at home a day later, these will cause quite severe cramps and will induce a miscarriage"
Amy nodded, it all sounded so horrible
The doctor examined Amy and worked out she was about 6 weeks along
"How soon can I have it done" Amy asked
"We can get you seen at the clinic tomorrow, the sooner you have it done the better, you'll be considered a priority because of your age"
The doctor spent ages going through everything with Amy, by the end of it Amy was feeling a bit calmer about everything
It was only as she was walking home she realised she'd have to try and get another day off school, so she could go to the clinic tomorrow
She was a bit worried Rachel would be in by the time she got home and would be quizzing her about where she'd been. Luckily however no one was home.
Amy went straight up to her room and got into bed, she knew she'd have to lay the illness on thick, so Rachel would let her have tomorrow off
It was about 5.30 when Rachel eventually got home
"Amy" she shouted
When there was no answer she went upstairs and into Amy's room
"Hey love, are you still feeling rotten?"
"Yeah, I've been sick a few times this afternoon"
"Really?" Rachel said sounding concerned "I thought you seemed a bit better this morning"
"Yeah it got worse again"
"Maybe it's the antibiotics, sometimes they can make you feel awful when you start taking them"
"Yeah maybe"
"Sorry I was late home, Ivy's teacher summoned me in, apparently her and some of her friends were chucking water about in after school club" Rachel said rolling her eyes
"Oh, it doesn't sound too awful"
"Well that's what I thought, the way she was going on you'd have thought they'd had been plotting a murder in her lesson or something, talk about over-dramatic" Rachel said "Anyway she's banned them all from after school club for 3 days, which is just what I need because I'll have to pick her and Hannah up and keep them in my office while I finish my work"
"I can pick them up and walk them home if you want" Amy offered
"No, it's alright love, it's too long a walk, I don't really mind it's just a bit of a pain that's all" Rachel said "We're getting fish and chips for tea, do you want some?"
"Fish and chips on a Monday?"
"Well you need to treat yourself every so often, don't you?"
"I guess so, I'm alright though I still feel really sick"
"Okay, you're due your next tablet, I'll go and bring it up"
Amy stayed in her room most of the evening, she couldn't face seeing any of them.
She couldn't get to sleep at night.
At around 3 in the morning, she decided to get out of bed. She went over to the bathroom as soon as she'd closed the door she began to sob. She was terrified about tomorrow, she wished she could talk to Rachel about it but she knew how angry she'd be
She'd been in there a few minutes when suddenly Rachel walked in
"Rachel what are you doing?"
"Sorry, I thought you were Hannah or Ivy, I did knock" Rachel said "Oh love what's happened?"
"I just don't feel well"
"Really?" Rachel said, she went over and put her hand to her forehead
"Yeah I feel awful"
"Looks like it'll be another day off school for you tomorrow" Rachel said
She paused for a moment before saying "Are you sure there's nothing else going on?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know, you've just seemed a bit quiet recently"
"I'm fine"
"You can tell me anything you know"
"Honestly I'm alright, I'm going to go back to bed"
Rachel watched as Amy went out, she was certain something was up.
Amy only managed to get about an hour's sleep.
Rachel had come in to check on her this morning, but she'd pretended to be asleep, she couldn't face talking to her, she felt so awful about what she was about to do
Everyone had left the house, so Amy slowly started to get dressed.
Her appointment was at 11, the clinic was about 8 miles away so obviously she needed to order a taxi.
The wait seemed to go on forever, however eventually it was time to go to the clinic
When she got there and went through to the waiting room, she suddenly felt really sick and had to dash to the toilet
After a little while she was called through
The nurse spent ages going through everything with her, before eventually administering the first pill.
She explained that she'd have to take the second pill about 4 hours later at home
Amy had to wait a bit longer at the clinic before being allowed to go home
Amy felt completely numb as she sat in the taxi on the way back home, she felt so awful about what she'd done.
When she got home, she collapsed onto the sofa and started to sob properly
At about 3 o'clock Amy realised she had to take the second pill, she quickly got it out and swallowed.
Her stomach was starting to really hurt now, and she felt sick. She'd started bleeding about an hour ago, so she knew it must be working.
About half an hour passed and Amy was in a lot of pain, she couldn't believe how bad the stomach cramps were, she thought it would just be like a period.
Rachel got in at about 4.30, she found Amy on the sofa
"Amy you look terrible" she said, rushing over "You're burning up again"
"I'm okay" Amy said "I'm just a bit sick"
"Well you don't look okay, I think we need to get you to a doctor" she said
"I said I'm fine" Amy snapped, the last ting she needed now was to go and see a doctor, knowing the reason she was feeling like this was because of the pill
"You're white as a sheet"
"I'm going to go and get some water" Amy said
She got up off the sofa, Rachel noticed the big red stain on the sofa and all over Amy's jogging bottoms
"erm you might want to go and change your trousers first"
Amy gasped when she realised she'd leaked everywhere, she couldn't believe how heavy the bleeding seemed, she'd only put a pad on about half an hour ago
"It's alright, it'll come off the sofa it's leather" Rachel said misinterpreting her gasp
"Sorry Rach, I didn't even realise, I'll clean it up"
"Don't worry about it, these things happen" she said "Go and get yourself sorted"
Amy ran upstairs and got changed into her pyjamas, she was a bit worried about the amount she seemed to be bleeding, she wondered if it was meant to be this heavy
Once Amy had changed she went downstairs
"Hey, I got you some water" Rachel said handing it to her
"Thanks"
Suddenly Amy got another stomach cramp, she doubled over in pain
"Amy" Rachel said sounding worried, putting down the knife she was using to chop up an onion and rushing over to her
"I'm fine, I've just got really pad period pains"
"Are you sure you don't think we should go to the doctors?"
"No I'm fine, I'm going for a lie down"
Another hour passed, and Amy was beginning to get really worried something wasn't right, the pain was almost unbearable and she seemed to be bleeding loads
Rachel shouted them all down for tea at about 6
Amy staggered downstairs.
She could only manage a few mouthfuls of her tea
"Amy if you've had enough just leave it" Rachel said
Suddenly Amy felt really sick again
"Excuse me" she said before dashing off
"Rachel Amy's bleeding from her bottom look" Ivy said
Rachel was shocked to see all the blood on Amy's pyjama bottoms, she couldn't believe she'd leaked twice when she didn't normally suffer with heavy periods
"Girls finish off your tea and then put the plates by the dishwasher" Rachel said before getting up
She followed Amy into the bathroom and held her hair back for her as she was sick
"Quick chat upstairs love" Rachel said when she'd finished being sick
She wanted to speak to Amy in private
When they got upstairs Rachel led her through to her room
"Amy your periods leaked again" Rachel said
"Oh, has it?" Amy said "It's really heavy this month"
Rachel looked at her suspiciously, she couldn't help but think Amy was acting weirdly
"Sort yourself out and then come through to my bedroom please"
Amy didn't know what to do, she could tell Rachel knew something wasn't right and Amy was starting to panic about the amount of pain she was in, she didn't want Rachel to find out about what she'd done, but she was starting to get really scared.
Amy got changed again and then went through to Rachel's bedroom
"Sorry about all the washing Rachel"
"Amy is there something going on with you that I need to know about?" Rachel asked, getting straight to the point
Amy knew she couldn't lie anymore, she nodded her head, staring at the ground
"okay what is it love?"
Amy burst into tears "I had an abortion earlier, and I think somethings wrong because I keep bleeding loads and I keep getting really bad cramps"
Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing, she couldn't believe Amy had been through all this on her own, it was a massive thing for anyone to go through let alone a 14-year-old kid
"Sweetheart why didn't you tell me" Rachel whispered before wrapping her arms around Amy
Amy couldn't believe her aunties reaction, she thought she would have been furious
"I thought you'd hate me" Amy cried "I'm so sorry Rachel"
Rachel just shook her head in disbelief, she couldn't believe she hadn't known anything about this
"Oh love I can't believe you've been through all this alone, you could have talked to me, I'd have helped you out"
"I'm sorry" Amy said again
"How long have you known you were pregnant for"
"Only since yesterday for sure, I had sex with James about a month ago" Amy admitted "I thought we were ready, but then afterwards he barely spoke to me"
"I had no idea"
"I thought you'd be angry"
"I probably would have been angry to start with, but then everything would have settled down and I'd have been able to help you"
"Do you not think I'm an awful person for having an abortion" Amy sobbed
"No sweetheart I don't think you're an awful person, I think you're a young girl who had to make a very difficult decision" Rachel said
"I didn't want to, I just felt like I didn't have any other choice"
"It's okay Amy, I promise it's all going to be okay" she said
"How?"
"Because we're going to get through this … together"
"Everything hurts so much"
"That'll settle soon, though if you're worried I can take you to the walk-in clinic"
"I just didn't think I'd bleed so much, do you think it's normal?"
"Yes love it's normal, do you remember a while ago I told you I miscarried a baby?"
"Yeah, because Dad punched you in the stomach"
"Well anyway I remember how painful it was and the bleeding can be really heavy, I'll nip out and get some thicker pads for you"
"Rach why are you being so nice, I thought you were going to go mad"
Rachel sighed and crouched down next to her "Believe it or not I'm not a complete witch"
"Yeah I know but I just thought you'd be really annoyed"
"I don't think that's what you need right now is it? Look at some point we'll need to have a proper talk about it all, but not when you're feeling like this huh, let's concentrate on getting you feeling better first"
"I didn't use a condom when I had sex with him"
"Well yeah I did kind of gather that, if you did then this probably wouldn't have happened"
"It was so stupid"
"There's no point beating yourself up over it, what's done is done" Rachel said
Amy suddenly got another really bad stomach cramp
"Ow" she cried out
"It's okay" Rachel said rubbing her back "I'm going to nip out, see if I can get you something a bit stronger for the pain"
Rachel then went downstairs and grabbed her coat and bag
"Mum where are you going?" Gaby asked
"Just nipping to the shops to get some stuff for Amy"
"Can I come?"
"Well Amy's not very well so I need you to keep an eye on Hannah and Ivy for me"
"Hannah's watching Tv and Ivy's in bed they'll be fine"
"Yeah I guess so then"
Gaby and Rachel then got in the car
"What do you need to get"
Rachel thought it was probably a good idea to tell Gaby what was going on, she was bound to pic up on something anyway
"Am was pregnant, she had an abortion earlier, I didn't know anything about it"
"What?" Gaby said in shock "She was pregnant"
"Yes, and she feels absolutely awful, so we need to make sure we look after her"
"Is an abortion where the baby gets killed"
"Well … yeah sort of, but it's not really a baby at this stage love" Rachel said
"But it's developing into a baby, how the hell could you get rid of it"
Rachel sighed "It's a horrible thing for anyone to have to go through, Amy was in a really difficult situation, she couldn't have brought up a baby at her age"
"Well couldn't she have given it away"?
"It's really not as simple as that, carrying a baby is a massive deal"
"So is ending a baby's life"
"Look you're entitled to have an opinion Gaby, it might change as you get older, but what Amy needs more than anything else is some love and support not judgement, do you understand?"
Gaby nodded her head "Sorry, it just sounds so awful"
"Amy's been through a massive ordeal today, she's in a lot of pain"
"is that why she had such a heavy period"
"Yeah and you get really bad stomach cramps too"
"So Amy must have had sex"
"Well yeah"
"But isn't she really young?" Gaby said "I thought you had to be much older"
"Well ideally yes, but sometimes mistakes are made"
"How old were you when you first had sex"?
Rachel didn't really want to answer this truthfully
"Erm I don't remember"
"You must remember"
Rachel rolled her eyes "Okay well I was too young and so was Amy, sex is a massive deal Gaby and you want to wait till the right person comes along before you even think about it, never rush into anything you might regret"
"No fear, I think it's disgusting, why would anyone ever want to do it?"
Rachel didn't want to get into this now, she just smiled slightly and said "When you're older you'll see things differently"
"No I won't" Gaby mumbled
Rachel laughed "I'll remember that when you're older"
When they got to the shop Rachel got what she needed for Amy, the pharmacy a Morrisons was still open so she'd managed to pick up some co-codamol for Amy
Her and Gaby drove back home and Rachel got a hot water bottle for Amy before going upstairs
"Amy I've got some medicine for you" she said gently
"Thanks Rachel" she said groggily
Rachel ended up spending most of the night in Amy's room as she was obviously still very upset, but glad she had her auntie for support.