Chapter 28
A few weeks had passed, and Hannah was finally starting to feel more like herself again, it had been a really rough few weeks, especially with the funeral happening but Hannah had handled it pretty well. She'd taken about a week off school but in the end she'd wanted to get back and see all of her friends.
They were all sat around the table having some breakfast before school, as usual there was the morning rush, nothing ever seemed to just run smoothly.
"Gaby I've told you before, those shoes are not appropriate for school and neither is the scarf" Rachel sighed, referring to the doc martins and blue scarf Gaby had on
"It's not as if they're going to affect my learning is it? Why can't you just be more chilled"
"Because young lady it's my school and I don't want pupils that look scruffy in it thank you very much"
"My school? You sound like some sort of dictator" Gaby said causing Amy to giggle
"Oh girls pack it in, I'm not in the mood this morning" Rachel said, it was true she did feel a bit grouchy today, she'd woken up with a really bad headache and she was feeling generally quite unwell.
"I didn't even say anything" Amy said "Just calm down Rach you're doing my head in"
This caused Rachel to glare at Amy, she didn't know why she felt so moody this morning
"Mum, is it okay if Ellie stays over tonight"
Gaby had been seeing Ellie loads over the past couple of weeks, Rachel was a bit confused by It because up until a few months ago they'd never really been friends, she liked her though, she'd always thought Ellie was a lovely girl, even though she could quite often be in trouble
"Yeah I guess so"
Gaby smiled, she loved spending time with Ellie, especially when it was just the two of them.
"Who are you texting Hannah?" Rachel asked nosily, noticing that Hannah had her phone out
"No one" Hannah said blushing furiously
"Is it your boyfriend" Gaby asked giggling, she knew Hannah has been sort of seeing a boy in her year called Harry and loved winding her up about it
"I don't have a boyfriend" Hannah said
"I don't think Harry would like to hear you say that"
"Shut up"
"Well it's true, you're literally always together, if we don't keep an eye on you you'll be snogging each other's face off by the bike sheds"
"Oi that's enough" Rachel said
"Shut up Gaby, you're so annoying" Hannah snapped before running off
"I was only joking for gods sake" Gaby said "Why is everyone so tetchy this morning, have your periods synced up or something?" She asked causing Rachel to glare at her again
"I suggest you think very carefully about what you're saying young lady" Rachel said "And leave Hannah alone"
"I was joking!' Gaby repeated "Besides when are you so okay with boyfriends, I'm pretty sure you weren't very happy when I had a boyfriend at Hannah's age"
"Oh Gaby, it's hardly like it's anything serious is it, I'm pretty sure it's all innocent"
A little while later, they were finally ready to go out, Rachel dropped Ivy off before driving to school. She couldn't wait to get today over with so she could relax for the weekend. She said goodbye to the girls before heading up to her office, she really didn't feel that well, her head and stomach were hurting and she felt all shivery, she'd thought this morning it was just because her period was due, but now she wasn't so sure.
To make things worse, Rachel had a really busy day ahead, she had a governor meeting first thing, followed by a few child progress meetings. All she wanted to do was get back into bed and sleep whatever this was off.
Gaby was in her English lesson, she was sat next to Ellie, they were talking to each other and laughing, and generally not doing much work at all.
"You can come and sleep at mine tonight, mum said it was okay" Gaby said
"oh cool, we can finish watching you on Netflix" Ellie said "do you fancy skipping Maths with me, we can go and chill in the park or something"
Gaby knew her Mum would be furious if she found out but the thought of spending time with Ellie did seem better than going to Maths.
"Sure" Gaby said casually
"Okay, so we'll run out of Maths and head to the back gate, if we're quick we'll get there before anyone can see us go" Ellie said
"Yeah sounds good, we'll have to be careful the demon headmistress doesn't catch us though, she's in an awful mood today"
"Yeah she told me off this morning because my skirt was too high" Ellie said laughing
Ellie was in trouble about her appearance, she was an extremely pretty girl, with long brown hair, she would normally wear very heavy makeup, which made her look at least 16.
Gaby rolled her eyes "you know what she's like"
"She's not too bad really though' Ellie said
"I guess not, she was doing my head in this morning though"
"Girls if you're going to continue talking you can do so in the cooler, because I've had just about enough" Tom shouted causing the girls to jump.
Rachel was in her governors meeting and she was feeling absolutely awful, she felt really hot and her head was throbbing.
She was trying to listen to what was being said but she couldn't concentrate, the room seemed to be spinning.
"Are you okay Rachel" Chris whispered to her "You don't seem very well"
Rachel mumbled something about being fine back to him, but really, she didn't feel well at all.
Suddenly, she began to feel really sick, she knew she needed to get to the toilet and quickly, she apologised to everyone and hastily dashed out of the room before running to the nearest staff toilet where she was quite violently sick. She felt really embarrassed and hoped there was no one else around that had heard her, she knew she needed to go home, she felt awful and just wanted her bed.
As soon as she stepped outside Chris walked over to her
"Rachel, I came to check you were okay?" chris said "You look terrible"
"oh cheers" she said weakly "I'm okay, I think I need to go home though'
"Will you be okay to drive?"
"Yeah I'll be fine, don't worry honestly" She said "you'll be okay on your own won't you"
"of course, don't worry, just take care of yourself"
"Right well any problems, you ring me'
"I will, now go home and get yourself better"
Rachel went back up to her office and grabbed her things before making her way out, as she was leaving the break time bell had just gone, she spotted gaby on her way out so went over to her
Gaby was shocked when she saw her Mum, she looked all sweaty and pale
"Mum are you okay, you look dreadful"
"I feel terrible Gab, I'm going to go home and try and sleep this off, I'll come back to give you a lift home though"
"It's fine we'll get the school bus, we'll stop at Ivy's school to pick her up too, it's not far from our house'
"If you're sure?'
"of course, do you want me to come home with you?'
"No I do not, you need to be in lessons, I'll be fine don't worry, it'll just be a virus or something' Rachel said
"okay, hope you feel better soon" Gaby said
"Thanks love, I'll see you later'
Rachel went off and got in her car to drive home.
Gaby felt a bit guilty going off out of school with ellie when her Mum was so ill, but she couldn't really bail on her now.
They quickly managed to get out of the school gates and started walking towards the park, Gaby always loved being in Ellie's company, she felt so at ease with her.
When they got to the park they went and sat down together
"I've got some vodka in my bag if you fancy?" Ellie said giggling, before getting it out
"you brought vodka to school? Who the hell does that" Gaby said, but took a sip and grimaced.
"Come on Gab, you must have had vodka before"
"I have, it doesn't make the taste any better though!" Gaby exclaimed
They drank a bit more and started to feel a bit tipsy
"Have you ever been properly drunk before?' Ellie asked
"Yeah twice, first time was at Sophie's house, Mum had to come and pick me up and I was sick everywhere, don't think she was too impressed" Gaby said laughing "Second time was at a house party, I got so bad I ended up getting fingered by tom"
"Oh shit really, was it good?"
"No I hated it, it just didn't feel right. What's the furthest you've ever gone?"
"Same as you, but the same thing happened, it just didn't feel right. Even sometimes when I'm kissing boys it doesn't"
"Same with me!' Gaby exclaimed, she'd never admitted that to anyone else, she thought they'd think she was weird "It's like it's nice and everything, but there's never really a spark"
"Have you ever wondered … no it doesn't matter"
"No go on" Gaby said, eager to hear what ellie was going to say
"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to .. you know, kiss someone who wasn't a boy"
Gaby's heart missed a beat, she didn't know what to say 'Yeah I guess so, but if I told anyone they'd think I was crazy"
"You're not crazy Gaby" Ellie said, she slowly reached out and touched the top of her leg, stroking it gently
Gaby couldn't believe what was happening, but she didn't want it to stop, it felt so right, in the way it had never felt when she'd been with boys.
The two girls looked at each other, before slowly leaning into kiss.
Gaby didn't want it to stop, it felt perfect, but eventually they pulled away.
'Wow, that was amazing" Ellie said
'It was perfect" Gaby said smiling. She didn't know what to think, she couldn't believe how good it had felt, but it shocked her at the same time.
"What do we do?" Ellie asked
"I don't know" Gaby replied honestly, she had no idea how anyone would react if she told them she had kissed Ellie, she knew her friends had never had a problem with gay people, but maybe it would be different if it was her. She had no idea how her Mum would react either; it was never something they'd really spoken about before.
Rachel was back at home, she'd been in bed for a while but hadn't been able to get to sleep, she'd been sick a few more times and her head was pounding, despite the fact she'd taken pain killers. She didn't know what was wrong, she just felt terrible.
Suddenly she heard her phone ringing, she reluctantly got out of bed to answer it and saw it was Chris
"Hello" she said groggily
"Rachel, I'm really sorry to bother you, it's just Gaby hasn't turned up to her maths lesson"
"oh the little madam" Rachel sighed, she really didn't have the energy to deal with this now "I'll try calling her, she'll be at the shops or something"
"I'm sure she won't be in trouble, I just thought you should know'
"Well she'll certainly be in trouble when I get my hands on her, thanks for letting me know" Rachel said
She couldn't believe Gaby was doing this, especially when she felt so ill. She got back into bed and called Gaby.
Gaby got a shock when she saw her Mum was calling her, half of her really didn't want to answer but then she also knew how poorly her Mum had been and started to worry maybe she'd got seriously ill or something so she picked up the phone
"Hey mum" Gaby said nervously
"Gaby what the hell are you playing at, why aren't you in school!'
"Oh well erm I was …. I was .. I was coming home to check you were okay"
"Spare me the crap Gaby, just get back to school right now and I mean that, you're in real trouble'
'Okay Mum, I will do" Gaby said
"I mean it Gaby when you get home tonight, we'll be having words" Rachel said "Now get back to school this instant, I will be checking you've got there and you can spend the whole of your lunch time in detention'
"Okay, bye Mum see you later"
Gaby then hung up the phone.
She explained to Ellie they needed to go back, so the two of them started walking back, both still caught up in what had happened.
The rest of the school day seemed to pass pretty quickly, and before long the bell rang for the end of school, so the girls made their way home.
Rachel's Mum had offered to take ivy for the night seen as Rachel wasn't feeling well so they dropped her off there on their way back.
When they got home, they tried to be as quiet as possible, however Rachel was awake by now and sat in her pyjamas and dressing gown in the living room.
She still felt pretty rotten but was at least slightly better than earlier.
"Hey Rachel, how are you feeling" Amy asked
"I'm still not brilliant, but I feel better now I've slept' Rachel said 'was school okay?"
"Yeah it was fine, do you need anything getting"
"I'm alright love, thank you though, if you fancy cooking later for Gaby and Hannah that would be great though, I'm not sure I'm up to it'
'Yeah of course, Ellie's coming, too isn't she?"
"I don't know if Gaby deserves to have friends over after today" Rachel said; however, she didn't have the energy to get that annoyed over it and wasn't going to stop Ellie coming over.
Hannah and Amy went off to get changed leaving Gaby and Rachel alone
Gaby went and sat down next to her mum and put her arms around her "Mum I'm sorry about today, I know I shouldn't have done it'
Rachel sighed,"well luckily for you young lady I'm too tired and ill to tell you off properly, although there better not be a repeat and I mean that'
'There won't be promise" Gaby said "You look so ill"
"I feel bloody ill, I was nearly sick in front of the governors this morning" Rachel said
"Oh god, well that would have been a shock for them if you did that" Gaby said giggling
"It's not funny, I was really embarrassed"
"What do you think it is?"
"I don't know, probably just a virus, maybe flu" Rachel said "Was school okay …well the bits you bothered to show up to anyway"
"Yeah good, we were looking at different relationships in PSHE, you know like gay couples and stuff" Gaby lied
"Oh right, I didn't realise that was on the curriculum this term" Rachel said
"What do you think about gay couples Mum?" Gaby asked, feeling nervous, she had absolutely no intention of telling Rachel about today but wanted to probe a little bit
"What do you mean, what do I think about them?' Rachel asked laughing slightly
"Like, do you think it's wrong or anything?"
"Of course, I don't think it's wrong Gab, and I hope you don't either"
"I don't, I was just wondering what you thought that's all" Gaby said before getting up and wandering off
She was relieved about what her Mum had said but it still didn't mean she would be totally okay with it when it came to her.
She felt really confused about it all, but excited at the same time. She couldn't wait for Ellie to come over.
A couple of hours passed, and Ellie had just come round, she said hi to everyone before going up to Gaby's room.
Gaby felt weirdly nervous, it all felt more special now, she wondered what things would be like between her and Ellie now.
"Hey Gaby" Ellie said smiling, before sitting herself down on the bed next to Gaby
They chatted for a little bit and joked around together as usual before deciding to put a movie on.
As they were watching it Gaby felt herself getting closer to Ellie, she cautiously started to stroke her hand
"Ellie, can I ask you something?"
"Sure"
"Have you ever been with a girl before?"
"never" Ellie said smiling slightly "I had no idea what it would be like, but then when I kissed you earlier, it just felt so normal, I guess like how it should feel, like when I've snogged boys before, I've always waited to you know ..feel excited or a spark, but I never got it"
"That's the same for me" Gaby said "Do you like me… like not just as a friend?"
"I kissed you didn't I?" Ellie said laughing
"I know but I thought maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing and you wouldn't want to do it again"
"Shut up, of course I want to do it again, it was amazing"
Ellie then gently cupped Gaby's face in her hand and started kissing her.
Amy had finished making tea so called everyone down, Hannah came straight through but there was no sign of Ellie or Gaby.
"Why does she never come when I shout her" Amy said "It's so annoying"
"I'll go and get her, she'll have her Tv on full blast" Rachel said
"You're ill Rachel"
"I'm sure I can still just about manage to walk up some stairs, but thanks for the concern"
Rachel walked up the stairs towards Gaby's room
"Gaby your tea's ready" She said and started to open the bedroom door, it didn't even cross her mind to knock "Amy's made it specially and…"
Rachel got a shock when she walked into the room, Gaby hadn't heard her come in and was still kissing Ellie.
The two girls couldn't believe it, they felt absolutely mortified and there was no way of disguising what was going on
Rachel didn't have a clue how to react, she couldn't believe what she'd walked in on "I'm sorry, I erm didn't think to knock, tea's out come down well ..when you're ready" she said before rushing off
Gaby couldn't believe what her mum had seen her doing, she'd never felt more embarrassed in her life
"oh my god gaby, what do we do?"
Gaby didn't know how to respond, she didn't know how she was going to face her Mum again, she was terrified about what she was going to say
"Gab I've got to go home, this is too awkward I can't stay here" Ellie said
Gaby knew it definitely wouldn't be the best idea for Ellie to stay. Ellie quickly grabbed her stuff together and said goodbye before heading off, leaving Gaby alone and wondering how the hell she was going to explain this to Rachel. Everything had felt so right before, but now it seemed so complicated.
Gaby didn't want to leave her room, she was praying her mum wouldn't come in, however about 5 minutes later the door was opened and Amy walked in
"hurry up, teas ready and yours is going to get cold" Amy said "Why did Ellie leave?"
"Wasn't feeling well" Gaby mumbled
"Oh, well come down for dinner" Amy said
Gaby didn't want to, she hoped Rachel wouldn't be down there eating with them, but she didn't have a lot of choice but to follow Amy down.
To her horror, Rachel was sat at the table, Gaby didn't even look at her as she sat down. She was hoping she'd somehow be able to avoid eye contact for the entire meal.
Rachel still felt awful so wasn't eating much at all, she wanted to talk to Gaby but didn't want to make her feel more awkward than she already did and obviously couldn't say anything in front of Amy and Hannah.
"Have you two had a fight or something?" Amy asked, picking up on the fact the atmosphere felt as little strange
"No" Rachel replied, "Gaby please can you pass me the water?"
Gaby handed it to her Mum without looking at her and without saying anything
"Has Ellie gone?" Rachel asked
"Yeah" Gaby replied looking down at the table, this felt so uncomfortable
"God what's happened, I didn't hear you arguing but Gaby won't even look at you" Amy said, although she had a good heart, she could be incredibly tactless sometimes
"It was really nice of you to make this Amy" Rachel said, desperately trying to move the conversation away from Gaby.
The meal felt really awkward; Gaby didn't say a word the entire time.
Hannah and Amy finished first so picked up their plates and put them in the dishwasher before heading out.
Great, gaby thought now she was alone with Rachel, exactly what she didn't want.
"I think I'm done too" Gaby said quickly putting her plate away
"Gaby, can we talk?" Rachel asked hesitantly.
Gaby sighed but realised this would have to happen at some point so nodded her head.
"Not in here, let's go up to my room" Rachel said
She walked upstairs and Gaby reluctantly followed, dreading the conversation that was about to take place.
As soon as they sat down on Rachel's bed Gaby felt tears come into her eyes, she just felt so overwhelmed by everything.
Rachel took hold of her hand "I am so sorry for barging into your room …I know that it wasn't something I was supposed to see, and you know I always try to respect your privacy"
Gaby didn't know what to say, she didn't know how to explain it "mum, I think … I think I might like girls"
"That's okay Gaby" Rachel whispered softly "I promise you that's okay, all I ever want is for you to be a decent person and for you to be with a decent person, It doesn't matter to me whether they're a boy or a girl"
Gaby couldn't believe how calm her Mum was being about it, she didn't seem to mind at all.
"Have you been seeing Ellie for long?"
Gaby shook her head "No.. it's just I've always loved spending time with her and she just made me feel like I could be myself around her and then today we skipped school together and went to the park and well, we had a little bit to drink" At this point Gaby had almost forgotten it was her Mum she was talking to "Not much I promise… and we just got closer and we kissed and it just felt so right'
"Well you know Gaby, I'm far, far more concerned about the fact you've been skipping school and drinking than the fact you might be gay … do you think you are gay or are you not sure yet, don't feel you have to answer"
"I'm not sure" Gaby cried "It's just when I've got with boys it's never felt right before and today it did, I'm just so confused"
"Oh darling, it's alright to be confused, I promise it is .. you've got years and years to figure all this stuff out, but no matter who you're with or what you are, I'm always going to support you, nothing will ever change that"
"So .. so you don't love me any less because of it?" Gaby asked
"Of course I don't ..how on earth could I love you any less because of this. I'm so proud of you for telling me what you just have, because I know it's difficult but Gaby I mean it when I say you can tell me anything and it won't shock me, this doesn't bother me at all, all I ever want is for you to be happy and if being with Ellie makes you happy then I'd be the last person to try and stop that" Rachel said "is this why you asked me earlier about gay couples?"
"Yeah, we hadn't really been learning about it, I just wanted to see what you thought" Gaby said "Mum, thanks for being so ..nice about it"
"I'm always here for you Gaby, no matter what" she said "Although if I ever find out you've skipped school again to get drunk in a park we'll well and truly fall out mrs" she said, although she didn't sound too cross
"It won't happen again" Gaby said smiling slightly "mum, I don't want anyone else knowing yet, not even Amy"
"This is your business Gaby, it's up to you when you tell people, I won't say a word, but remember this is absolutely nothing to be in any way ashamed of and I'm sure everyone will support you when you tell them"
"I love you" Gaby said, wrapping her arms around her Mum
"I love you too" Rachel said "Now do you think we can start speaking to each other again, before amy does even more prying"
"I think we could manage that"
"Come on then, let's go downstairs, although I'll be going to bed soon, I still feel terrible"
"You better not give it to me!"
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