Chapter 33
It was the next day and Rachel and Hannah were home together, Hannah was feeling quite relaxed at home with Rachel, but the thought of going back in on Monday was already filling her with dread.
'Hannah do you fancy going into town for lunch, I need to collect some shoes for tonight and I think it would be good to get out the house"
"Yeah that would be good" Hannah said
She quickly got up off the sofa and started getting ready. While she was getting changed, she looked at herself in the mirror, she'd never given much thought to her appearance before, but she started to wonder if that was one of the reasons people were picking on her. She knew she was pretty, but she hadn't developed much of a figure yet and she wondered if her stomach was bigger.
Hannah was so busy looking at herself in the mirror, she didn't notice Rachel coming in.
"Oh, sorry l didn't realise you were getting changed" Rachel said "I was just coming to bring some clean clothes up"
"It's ok" Hannah said putting her top on.
"We'll leave in about 10 minutes ok?"
Hannah finished getting ready and then went downstairs.
"Come on then you, let's get going"
Hannah got in the front seat and they drove off. She loved spending time alone with her auntie, she never normally got to do things just with Rachel.
"Can I put some music on?" Hannah asked
"Go on then, don't have it on too loud though, I need to concentrate, I hate driving through the city"
Hannah fiddled with the display and found a station that she enjoyed listening to.
"God what is this crap?"
"It's top of the charts, I love it" Hannah said giggling
"I must be getting old; it sounds rubbish to me"
The two of them chatted most of the way there, it was nice seeing Hannah so happy Rachel thought, she seemed more relaxed than she had in ages.
"What are your plans this weekend Han?"
"I'm not sure really, I think I'll just stay home"
"How about asking Olivia and Jess over for a sleepover or something, you haven't seen them in ages"
"I saw them at school"
"No I mean outside of school" Rachel said laughing slightly, "Ask them over tomorrow night"
"I don't want to" Hannah said quickly
"Why not?"
"I just don't"
Rachel decided to leave it, they were having such a nice time and she didn't want to upset Hannah by pushing her
When they arrived, Rachel got out and paid for parking before the two of them walked off
"Right I need to go to next to pick my shoes up so do you want to do that and then we'll go for lunch somewhere?"
"Yeah sounds good" Hannah said "Where are you and Angela going?"
"Into town for cocktails apparently, I think there's some more of our old friendship group going so it should be fun"
"Will you get drunk?' Hannah said giggling
"Of course not, I never get drunk young lady" Rachel joked
In reality she knew whenever her and Angela went out together, they would often end up with very sore heads the next day.
They walked into next and Rachel joined the queue
"If you want to go off and have a look around then that's fine, it looks like this is going to take a while"
"Can I go to new look, it's only next door"
"Yeah ok, but don't go anywhere else and meet me back here in 15 minutes ok?"
Hannah promised she would before going off.
She looked through some of the clothes and found a dress she really liked; she still had some money left over from her birthday so decided to buy it.
As she was going over to the checkout, she noticed the underwear section, she hated how flat her chest looked and wondered if one of these bras would make her look more grown up, without giving it too much thought she grabbed it and the matching pants before going over to the tills.
She didn't want her auntie seeing what she'd got so put the underwear right at the bottom
A couple of minutes later, Hannah saw Rachel waiting by the entrance so went over to her
"Hey, what did you get Hannah?"
"Just a new dress"
"Can I have a look?'
Hannah carefully got it out and showed Rachel.
"Oh that's lovely darling, you'll be able to wear it when we go out for dinner next weekend"
They found a nice café to go in for lunch, it was really nice for them to spend some time just the two of them and they ended up staying there for quite a while just chatting.
Suddenly, Rachel realised that they needed to head back to pick Ivy up from school, she'd totally lost track of time.
A couple of hours went by and before long Amy and Gaby arrived in from school.
"Mum guess what?" Gaby said with a smile on her face
"What?"
"We got out mock results back"
"Oh yes of course, how did you do?"
Gaby pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Rachel
Rachel gasped when she saw, she couldn't believe how well Gaby had done, she'd got top grades in just about every subject
"oh my goodness, you've done amazingly well" Rachel said bringing Gaby into a hug "Darling these scores are absolutely fantastic, I'm so so proud of you'
"Thanks Mum"
"I mean it Gaby; this shows how hard you're working and what you're capable of" Rachel said "It's a shame I'm going out tonight, I'd have taken you out to celebrate, maybe we could go for dinner tomorrow?"
"Well, I was sort of thinking maybe I could be ungrounded a couple of days early so I can go to the party I told you about tomorrow night" Gaby said, she knew she was chancing her arm but her Mum did seem in a good mood
Rachel sighed, "Go on then, since you've done so well"
Gaby couldn't believe it, she gave her Mum another hug before rushing upstairs to text her friends to tell them she was allowed to go.
After she'd made dinner for the girls Rachel started getting ready, she felt a bit anxious leaving them but knew Amy was more than capable of keeping an eye on things in the house and Ivy would be asleep by the time she went out.
She took her time getting ready, it was nice to do her hair and makeup properly. It felt strange getting ready for a proper night out.
After she had finished her hair and makeup, Rachel put on her dress and looked at herself in the mirror, she looked almost unrecognisable. She wasn't used to seeing herself so dressed up.
She chose a pair of black heels to go with her dress before grabbing her bag.
Gaby was on the landing and whistled when she saw her Mum
"Mum you look amazing" She said truthfully "Are you on the pull or something?"
"Don't be so ridiculous" Rachel said, since breaking up with Steve the last thing on her mind was meeting men.
"Are you going to be stumbling back in, in the early hours"
"Of course, I won't be" Rachel said "I'll have to be awake to take Ivy to her swimming lesson tomorrow won't I?"
Gaby laughed "Well you look fab, have fun"
"Thank you darling, be good ok?"
"I'm not going to throw a wild party Mum"
"Well I wouldn't put it past you" Rachel joked
She knocked on Hannah's room and then went in
Rachel got a shock when she saw Hannah stood there in a very padded bra, Hannah immediately blushed when she saw Rachel and held her hands against her chest to cover herself
Hannah didn't say anything but quickly grabbed a top and threw it over herself
"I'm sorry" Hannah said
"What for Hannah?"
"For getting that bra"
"You don't have to be sorry" Rachel said laughing slightly "Did you get it in town earlier?"
Hannah nodded
"It doesn't look the most comfortable choice"
Hannah sighed "I just don't want to look like a boy anymore"
"Has someone said something to you?" Rachel asked
"No" Hannah said quickly "But all the other girls in my year have good figures and I don't"
"Hannah you're 12 years old, you've got years and years to develop" Rachel sighed "Plenty of girls still haven't got proper figures at your age .. I know I didn't"
"Really?" Hannah said "But now you've got proper curves"
"Well yes because I'm a grown woman … and you're still a girl" Rachel said "Trust me, you've got nothing to worry about"
"Yeah I guess" Hannah sighed
Rachel kissed her forehead gently "I'm going out now, are you going to be ok this evening?"
"Yeah, what time will you be back?"
"I'm not sure, but you can call me if you need to ok?"
Hannah nodded
"I'll see you later darling, have a nice evening, don't stay up too late"
'Bye Rachel, have fun"
Rachel checked on Ivy and saw she was fast asleep before saying goodbye to Amy and Gaby and heading out.
Amy and Gaby were on the sofa together, the two of them got on so well they always enjoyed spending time together.
'Do you think Rachel would notice if we had some of her wine?" Amy asked
"She's got loads of bottles stored away so I doubt it"
"Why don't we open one, we'll only have a glass"
"Ok" Gaby said "Amy will you go into the shops for me tomorrow and get some vodka for my party"
"You forget I'm not old enough to get served either"
"Yeah but you're more likely to than I am"
"I'll try, no promises though"
"Thanks"
"Your Mum will kill you if you come home drunk"
"I'll be good, she won't even notice"
"Well, if she does you keep me out of it ok?"
"Yeah, it's a deal"
Amy went and poured her and Gaby some wine and then went upstairs to see if Hannah wanted to watch a film with them.
Hannah decided to come down, she always did like spending time with her cousins.
She watched the film with them for a bit but then got quite tired so went back up to bed
As soon as she was alone in her room though the worries about Monday returned, she felt sick at the thought of going back in.
When she drifted off to sleep the nightmares started again, she had the same dream about the lake and getting held down under water
Gaby and Amy were still downstairs when they heard someone by the front door.
"Do you think that's Mum?"
"Well it is gone midnight, so probably"
Gaby went to the front door and unlocked it, she got a shock when she saw a very drunk Rachel trying to get back in.
"Mum are you ok?" Gaby said giggling
"Oh hello darling" Rachel said wrapping her arms around her daughter
"Oh my god how much have you had to drink Rachel" Amy said coming through
"Not much really" Rachel slurred "Have you two behaved?'
"We've behaved better than you by the look of it"
"Don't be silly I'm not drunk"
"Yeah right" Gaby exclaimed
"Well only a bit"
Rachel kicked her shoes off, not bothering to put them away and went into the kitchen to pour herself some more wine
"I don't think that's a good idea Rachel" Amy said taking the bottle off her "Trust me you'll thank me in the morning"
Rachel laughed; it was funny getting told off by Amy
She got herself some water instead and gulped it down
"I'm going to go to sleep now" Rachel slurred "Nighty night"
"Goodnight Mum, hope your head isn't too bad tomorrow"
As soon as Rachel went upstairs Amy and Gaby burst out laughing
"Oh my god I've never seen her so drunk before" Gaby said "Imagine if anyone at school saw her like that"
"I wish we'd caught it on camera"
Rachel stumbled upstairs and went to check on Ivy who was fast asleep, she then walked into Hannah's room and saw she was still awake
Hannah jumped when she saw her auntie come in
"Sorry darling did I wake you?"
"No I can't sleep" Hannah said
"Oh no that's not good"
"Why are you talking so weirdly?" Hannah asked
"What do you mean? I'm not"
"You're drunk" Hannah said giggling
"Maybe a bit" Rachel said 'Can I lie down in your bed for a minute, everything's spinning"
Hannah budged up so her auntie could fit in, luckily, she had a double bed so there was plenty of room.
To her surprise, Rachel closed her eyes and within a couple of minutes she was fast asleep and had started snoring heavily, something she always did when she'd had too much to drink.
A few minutes later Gaby and Amy came in.
"Oh my god, we came to check she was ok, looks like she didn't even make it to her own bed" Gaby said "And she's still fully dressed with her makeup on"
"And snoring her head off, do you want me to move her out of your room Hannah?"
"No I don't mind" Hannah said
"Rather you than me" Gaby replied "Let's just hope she doesn't throw up all over your bed in the night"
Hannah giggled and the two girls left, even though her auntie was fast asleep Hannah felt much more relaxed knowing she was there and ended up falling asleep quickly.
Rachel woke up early the next morning, her head was pounding, she got a shock when she realised, she'd fallen asleep in Hannah's bed and still had her outfit on from the previous night as well as all of her makeup.
"God I'm getting too old for this" She mumbled to herself before getting out of bed, being careful not to wake Hannah
She went into the bathroom and sorted her face out before jumping in the shower. She couldn't believe how drunk she'd got last night; it was the worst she'd been in years. The night all seemed a blur now and the bits she could remember made her feel embarrassed, she was mortified the girls had seen her in that state.
Rachel felt much better after showering, even though her head was still pretty sore. She went into her bedroom and threw on some jeans and a cosy, grey cashmere jumper.
It was still quite early, so she decided to get some jobs done before the girls woke up.
She started by emptying the dishwasher and cleaning the kitchen. After she'd done this she heard one of the girls getting up.
Ivy went downstairs and gave Rachel a cuddle.
"Oh good morning love, did you sleep well?" Rachel said kissing her gently on the cheek.
"Yeah, I slept for so long"
"I know you did" Rachel said, "I'll make breakfast once the others are up, do you want to watch TV for a bit while I get on?"
"No I'll do my drawing at the table" She replied, sitting down.
Rachel sighed, she could have really done with some peace and quiet for another half an hour.
"Am I going to my swimming lesson today?"
Rachel had forgotten about this, the thought of sitting in the hot swimming baths full of screaming kids while she was feeling like this was not something she was looking forward to.
"Yeah, are you looking forward to it?"
"Yeah, I love swimming"
A few minutes later Hannah appeared in the kitchen
"Morning darling"
"Hi" Hannah mumbled
"I'm sorry for falling asleep in your bed last night"
"It's ok" Hannah said,
"I must have been really tired"
"You were drunk" Hannah said laughing
'I'm sure I was nothing of the sort" Rachel said lightly tapping her on the arm.
"What's drunk?" Ivy asked
"It's when you have too much alcohol and you start acting all silly like Rachel did last night" Hannah laughed
A few minutes later Gaby and Amy came waltzing in, Rachel sighed, she knew she was about to get a load of grief off the pair of them.
"God Mum I'm surprised you're up" Gaby said "I thought you'd be in bed until midday the state you were in"
"Yeah you were snoring your head off in all your makeup when we last saw you, I'm surprised poor Hannah got a wink of sleep" Amy joined in
'Excuse me, I seem to remember picking you up in plenty of states young lady" Rachel said
"Yeah and you've always gone mad at me for it" Amy said, "It's not fair, no one gives you a lecture"
"Well maybe because I'm not a 16 year old"
"You were behaving like one last night"
"Yeah it was so embarrassing" Gaby laughed
"Well I suppose you won't be wanting a lift to your party later Gaby if I'm so embarrassing will you?"
This was enough to shut Gaby up, she knew her Mum could change her mind any minute about the party and she was desperate to go.
"Right, I'm going to make breakfast and then take Ivy to swimming, does anyone want to come?"
"Me and Amy are going to head into town, I need a new dress for tonight"
"Oh are you now, and who's going to be buying this new dress?" Rachel asked
"Well I was wondering if I could borrow some money?"
Rachel rolled her eyes, she might have known this was coming "Were you indeed?"
"Please Mum I've got nothing to wear"
"You're lucky to be going at all Gaby, you're meant to be grounded" Rachel said "I'll give you thirty quid and that's your lot, you'll have to use your savings from your pocket money if it's not enough"
"Thanks Mum, you're the best" Gaby said hugging her
"You've changed your tune, I thought I was embarrassing"
Gaby laughed and went upstairs to get changed.
"Hannah, I know it's boring for you but do you mind coming to Ivy's lesson?"
"No I don't mind"
"Thanks love"
Rachel finished doing the jobs she needed to get done in the house before they set off to take Ivy swimming.
"Right Ivy I'll come and help you get changed, Hannah do you want to grab a drink and go and sit in the café at the side of the pool? I'll come and join you once her lesson has started"
"Yeah, that's fine"
"Will you grab me a skinny latte? I'll give you my card, just tap it on the machine"
Hannah took her card and went and sat in the café. As she was waiting, she looked at her phone, she hated checking it at the moment, every time she looked it seemed a new unkind message would appear. She was trying to put the thought of Monday to the back of her mind.
About 10 minutes later, Rachel came and sat down next to Hannah. She was glad it was just the two of them as she wanted to have a chat with Hannah in private.
"What are your plans today Hannah?'
Hannah shrugged her shoulders, she hated being asked this at the moment.
"I'm not sure, I don't feel that well"
"Really?' Rachel asked, she thought this was strange as Hannah had seemed absolutely fine
"Yeah, I kind of just want a quiet day"
"Ok, well maybe we could go for a walk or something later on."
"That would be nice, maybe we could go to the beach"
"Yeah ok, It is a nice day after all" Rachel said "And the fresh air will do me good"
The two of them chatted a bit longer, Hannah started to feel a bit more relaxed.
Suddenly Hannah's phone vibrated, instantly she began to get worried, she was shocked when she saw that she had a message from Olivia, even though they'd used to be best friends she'd barely spoken to her weeks, she was even more surprised when she opened it and saw that she'd asked her over for a sleepover that night with just her and jess.
Hannah smiled, she had always loved being friends with Jess and Olivia and was so glad they seemed to be talking to her again.
"Rachel, Olivia asked if I could go for a sleepover at her house later, is it ok if I go?"
"Yeah of course it is darling" Rachel said, glad that Hannah finally seemed to have some plans with friends again. She'd been spending far too much time at the house recently.
"Thanks, will you be able to give me a lift?'
"Yeah, although I've said I'd take Gaby to this party at 8 but you'll want to go before then, anyway won't you?'
"She said to come over for 7"
"That's fine, will you have dinner there?"
"I think so"
Hannah felt so much lighter all of a sudden, school wouldn't seem so bad if she had some friends to hang around with, even if there were still people being unkind to her.
As soon as Ivy had finished her swimming lesson, the three of them got in the car and headed home, Rachel was glad to be out of the hot swimming baths.
"Rachel can I watch tv when we get back?" Ivy asked
"Yeah, as long as you don't have it on too loud'
When they got back Hannah went upstairs and started packing, she wanted to make sure everything went well tonight so she could hang out with Olivia and Jess again.
The rest of the day went pretty quickly and before long it was time for Hannah to go.
Rachel shouted her down and Hannah came running.
"Have you got everything?"
"Yeah I think so"
The two of them got in the car and Rachel drove off.
"Right have a lovely time darling, be good for Olivia's Mum' Rachel said when they got there
"I will"
"I know you will, and if you need anything just call"
"Ok, love you"
"Love you too, go and have fun ok?'
Hannah kissed her auntie on the cheek and then went off inside.
She felt nervous as she knocked on the door
Olivia answered a few seconds later and gave her a big hug.
"Hey Han, thanks for come" Olivia said smiling "There's a few others here too, you don't mind do you?'
"No of course not" Hannah said, wondering who else was here.
"Come upstairs, we're all in my room"
Hannah carried her bag up and opened Olivia's door.
She gasped when she saw who was there, Kaitlin and Beth were both sat on the bed.
"Hey Hannah, we begged Olivia to invite you over" Beth said
"Yeah we were so sad that our last little trip with you got cut short"
Hannah couldn't believe she'd been trapped, the idea of spending the night with these two made her feel sick.
She stared around the room, wondering how on earth she was going to escape.
"Don't look so shocked, we're going to have a lovely time together aren't we?" Kaitlin said
Hannah didn't respond so Kaitlin turned on her, grabbing her face
"Oi I'm talking to you, I said we're going to have a lovely time together aren't we"
Hannah nodded her head violently
"that's better, now we're going to watch a film"
Hannah saw they were going to watch the human centipede. She'd heard of it before and knew Rachel had gone mad when she'd found Gaby and Amy watching it about a year ago.
"I don't think I'm allowed to watch it" Hannah mumbled, although as soon as she did she regretted it because the others all started laughing at her.
"How old are you 5?" Kaitlin said
Hannah forced herself to sit down and watch it with them, even though she hated every second of it and knew it was going to give her nightmares.
"Look how scared Hannah looks" Beth said giggling "She looks like she could cry"
Hannah tried to fight back tears; she also noticed her stomach was starting to hurt quite badly. She knew she needed to go to the toilet, but Olivia had an en suite so the idea of everyone listening was enough to put her off.
"Let's talk about the boys we fancy" Beth suggested
This was the last thing Hannah wanted to talk about, knowing it was not going to end well.
"Hannah you go first"
"I don't really fancy anyone" Hannah said staring at the ground
"Say someone" Kaitlin said, her voice had a threatening tone to it.
"I guess Joe Taylor is ok" Hannah said causing them all to giggle
She had no interest in him really, she just knew he was attractive and popular
'I've got an idea, why don't you ask him out'
'No" Hannah said quickly
"Go on, we can make you up first and then send him a picture asking him out"
Hannah didn't know what to do, she knew that she had no choice but to agree.
The girls got to work on her at once, she felt them smear makeup all over her face and tug at her hair.
Hannah stared in horror at her appearance by the end of it, she looked an absolute state with makeup smeared all across her face.
"Right now you need to take a selfie, send it to Joe and ask him out, I've got his number, we can send it off my phone"
"No please don't make me" Hannah begged
"Do it" Kaitlin said
Hannah knew she didn't have a choice.
"Not in your pyjamas, just your underwear"
"No I can't"
"Why not, it's hardly like you've got anything to hide"
"Please I really can't, I don't want to"
"Do it or we'll make you so sorry"
Hannah looked pleadingly at Olivia and Jess who both looked uncomfortable now but didn't want Beth and Kaitlin to turn on them.
Hannah realised she didn't have a choice and did what the girls asked.
As soon as she did she started to cry, she hated the thought of anyone seeing that picture.
A few minutes later Olivia's Mum appeared at the door
"Girls I'm really sorry but you're going to have to get your parents to come and get you, my Mum has had a fall and I'm going to need to take her to hospital"
Hannah had never felt more relieved in all her life, she was so glad she wouldn't have to stay the night.
She quickly rang Rachel who agreed to come and get her.
Beth and Kaitlin left first deciding to go off to the park together.
Jess and Olivia both looked embarrassed now.
"Hannah I'm sorry" Olivia said "Beth and Kaitlin made me get you over here, it was all their idea"
Hannah didn't say anything
"I've got a makeup wipe for you" Jess said handing it to her
Hannah quickly took off her makeup
"Are you going to tell your auntie?"
Hannah just shook her head in response to this. There was no way she could tell Rachel about any of this.
A little while later Hannah saw Rachel's car so headed straight out.
"Hey darling, sorry I'm a bit late, I had to put Ivy to bed first. Amy's watching her now for me"
"That's ok" Hannah said getting in next to Rachel
"It's a shame you all had to come home huh?"
"Yeah, I was enjoying it" Hannah lied
"Well it's still quite early, you could watch some TV with me and Amy when you get in"
"Yeah that sounds good"
As they were pulling up Rachel noticed Hannah holding her stomach and looked like she was in pain.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, my stomach just hurts"
"Oh really I wonder what's caused that?"
"I think I just you know … need to go to the toilet"
"Why didn't you go at Olivia's?"
"Because there were people around"
"Oh, Hannah that's silly, it's not like anyone would care, everyone goes to the loo and you'll make yourself poorly by not going when you need to"
Hannah didn't say anything but rushed to the loo as soon as she got in.
When she was finished, she put on her dressing gown and sat with Rachel and Amy on the sofa.
Everything that had happened that night had made her feel more awful than before.
It felt nice to be with her cousin and auntie again.
"What time is Gaby coming back"
"Midnight, one of the of her friends Mums is dropping her off apparently" Rachel said "God I hope she's ok"
"She'll be fine Rach, there's loads of them going" Amy said
"That does not fill me with confidence young lady"
After a while, Amy decided to go up to bed. Hannah didn't want to go as she knew as soon as she was on her own, all she'd be able to think about was the horrible evening she'd had and the awful film.
"Come on you, it's way past your bedtime" Rachel said to Hannah
"I'm not tired"
"You will be in the morning" Rachel said "Go upstairs and get ready for bed, I'll come and say goodnight in a few minutes"
Hannah really didn't want to go upstairs but knew she didn't have a choice.
As soon as she was in bed she started to panic, she felt so alone and scared. She thought about asking Rachel if she could stay with her but knew she'd think something strange was going on if she couldn't sleep alone again.
As promised, a few minutes later, Rachel came upstairs and tucked Hannah in for the night.
Hannah wished she could tell her auntie everything but knew it would make everything worse.
She tossed and turned for ages, thinking about the film and everything that had happened, it made her feel so horrid inside.
Rachel waited up for Gaby to come back, she was surprised when Gaby came in on time and pretty sober.
"Hi Mum" Gaby said cheerfully
"Hello darling, did you have fun?"
"Yeah so much fun" Gaby said coming in and giving Rachel a hug
"Well done for being sensible, I was worried about you"
Gaby knew if she hadn't been sensible there was no way her Mum would let her go to another party anytime soon.
"I'm going to go up to bed now, night Mum"
"Night Gaby, love you"
Rachel was feeling quite tired herself now so decided to go upstairs and read her book for a bit in bed.
Hannah was still awake; all she could think of was the horrid movie and the photo the girls had made her take.
It took her ages to get to sleep and when she did, she had a horrible nightmare about the film they'd watched, when she woke up, she realised the bed sheets were all wet again, she couldn't believe it and burst into tears, feeling so ashamed of herself.
She quickly stripped the sheets off and changed her pyjamas before putting them into the washing basket, she knew that Rachel would find them tomorrow and didn't know how on earth she'd explain it to her.
Hannah grabbed a fresh sheet out of the laundry cupboard and managed to get it onto her bed.
Rachel had woken up to noise coming from Hannah's room so decided to check on her.
She knocked quietly on the door, before going in.
Hannah was sat up in bed when she walked in, tears were running down her face.
"Hey you, I heard noise coming from in here so I thought I'd come and check on you, what's wrong" Rachel asked gently, going to sit on her bed
Hannah didn't say anything but put her head on Rachel's chest.
"It's ok" Rachel soothed, rubbing her back gently
"We watched a really scary film and I had a nightmare"
"Oh, did you? Which film was it?"
"I can't tell you, you'll be mad"
"Darling watching a scary movie is hardly the worst crime committed"
'It was the human centipede"
"Oh Hannah, what were you all thinking watching that? No wonder you're frightened, it's a disgusting film"
"I know, I wish we hadn't watched it"
"Well there's nothing you can do about it now is there, remember none of it's real though"
"I suppose"
Rachel stayed with her a few more minutes before tucking her back into bed.
Hannah eventually managed to drop off to sleep again but woke early the next morning.
When she woke up, everything that had happened suddenly came flooding back to her, panic flooded through her, she felt sick with worry.
Rachel woke up and decided to get on with some jobs before the girls got up, she started by taking the laundry out of the basket and when she did, she found the sheet and Hannah's pyjamas. Rachel felt really worried, this was the second time in just a few days, and she couldn't understand why it was happening all of a sudden. She also knew how upset Hannah would be over this and wanted to make sure she handled it sensitively.
She gathered the stuff up and took it downstairs.
Just as she was about to put it in the wash, Hannah appeared downstairs. Her cheeks flushed red when she saw what her auntie was doing, she stared at the ground.
Rachel saw the look on Hannah's face "Morning sweetie" She said, while quickly putting the stuff in the wash.
"Hi" Hannah mumbled, still red
"Do you want a drink; I'm going to make coffee"
"No, I think I'll just go up to my room" Hannah said turning to go away, but Rachel touched her arm, she could see how upset Hannah was and wanted to talk to her before the other girls woke up.
"Wait … just wait a minute, I want to talk to you'
"Are you cross?" Hannah asked sounding scared
"No of course not, I just want a couple of words that's all love"
Hannah knew she didn't have a choice, she looked up at her auntie feeling small and scared
"Come and sit in the lounge with me for a minute" Rachel said "It's ok, I just want to talk that's all"
Hannah followed her auntie through to the lounge and sat down.
Rachel didn't know how to start; she knew they needed to talk but the last thing she wanted to do was embarrass Hannah any further.
"Darling, I found your pyjamas and bedsheets in the wash this morning and I was wondering if there was anything you wanted to talk about while it's just the two of us?"
Hannah didn't know what to say, tears started to fall down her face and once they started, they wouldn't stop
"I'm sorry" she said not looking at Rachel
"What for Hannah?"
"I wet the bed again last night" Hannah mumbled while staring at the ground
"Ok," Rachel said calmly "Hannah I'm not cross, I promise I'm not and I'm not going to say anything to anyone, I just think we need to understand why it's happening all of a sudden, maybe you've got an infection going on or something"
"I'm really sorry, I know you're probably cross about the washing"
"I don't give a toss about that, it's you I'm worried about"
"I'm fine"
"Except you're not fine Hannah, you haven't been fine for weeks and I want to know why"
"I'm sorry"
"Oh Hannah, I don't want you to be sorry, I can see how horrible this is for you and I don't want to embarrass you, I just want to help you'
"You can't" Hannah said suddenly getting hysterical "It's never going to get better, and I've done something really bad and once you find out you're going to get mad and I can't go back to school … not ever and .. and …" Hannah felt like she couldn't breathe all of a sudden
Rachel was shocked by all this, there was clearly something major going on that she didn't know about
She took told of Hannah's hand firmly, she could see she was close to a panic attack and needed to calm her down
"Right deep breaths come on"
"But Rachel I've done something bad I .. I .."
"Hannah right now I don't care what you've done I just need you to calm down for me, come on it's ok, it's all ok"
"No it's not, once you find out it'll make everything worse I …"
"Whatever it is, we can fix it." Rachel soothed "I promise you it won't be as bad as it seems, nothing ever is."
"I've done something bad" Hannah cried
"And you think I've never done something wrong? Or Amy? Or Gaby?"
Hannah didn't say anything but tried to control her breathing, she was still letting out occasional sobs.
"Right, you're going to tell me what's happened, I'm not going to get mad, but I do need you to tell me everything"
Hannah took some deep breaths before saying "No one likes me, I've got no friends and some girls are … are being really mean"
Hearing Hannah say this broke Rachel's heart, Hannah was so sensitive and young for her age anyway and she hated the idea of anyone being unkind to her
"Ok and what are they doing that's mean?" She asked calmly
"They say things to me all the time and they get everyone else to join in and when we were on the residential, they pushed me into the water and kicked me and they're the ones that made me smoke. Then when I went to the sleepover last night they were there and they made me watch that awful film and then they made me say which boy I fancied. They told me to send him a picture with no top and I didn't want to but they said they'd make me sorry if I didn't so I did … I'm really sorry"
"Come here" Rachel said, she couldn't believe what Hannah was telling her, she immediately pulled her into her chest and let her cry into her.
"Hannah why didn't you tell me… why on earth did you keep this to yourself" Rachel whispered
"I thought it would make things worse… you can't say anything"
"Yes I can, because that's the only way we're going to put a stop to this" Rachel said firmly
"What will you do?" Hannah said sounding worried
"I don't know yet, but they won't be getting away lightly that's for sure" Rachel said stroking Hannah's head "Now I want the names of the girls who've been bullying you"
"I can't say"
"Hannah you've been so brave in telling me all of this, and I need you to do this one last thing ok? And then this isn't your problem anymore it's for the adults in school to put a stop to"
Hannah took a deep breath "It's kaitlin and Beth mainly"
Rachel shook her head, it wasn't the first time she'd heard of those girls.
"Are you angry with me?"
"No sweetheart, you've done nothing wrong .. I just wish you'd felt you could talk to me sooner, or if not me then someone else you trust"
"I was scared" Hannah said sounding small
"I know… I know you were love, but you don't need to be scared anymore I promise you'
Hannah stayed cuddled up to her auntie, she felt better for telling her but was so worried about what was going to happen next.