I Fear No Pain

C3: Getting to Know Her

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own any of the recognizable characters.

Jane's POV

I will admit that I never thought that of all people, I would be worthy of finding my forever, although in the same unnecessary breath I reasoned that since Alec had found Chelsea as his mate, it wasn't really a matter of being worthy, but rather a matter of luck, I just didn't believe that such luck was for me. Thankfully whatever Gods were watching over me blessed me with such luck now, and my only regret so far was that I had been away on a mission when she arrived yesterday.

As we made our way to the gardens, which I figured would be a good place to talk, I couldn't help but revel in the beauty that was Bella, it just didn't help that my Queens didn't tell me a lot about her so I had no idea on what to expect.

Bella seemed to notice and smiled kindly at me. "Is this as weird for you as it is for me?"

"That's putting it mildly. I really have no idea how to continue from here. I'm not the most sociable person." I said honestly.

Bella laughed lightly at that. "Would you believe the same is true for me? I also am not the most sociable person in the world, but I know you're feeling the same things I am so perhaps we should just speak from the heart."

That single statement allowed me to relax a little as I found a perfect spot for us to have this conversation. The problem was that I didn't know exactly how much she knew, so I figured that was a good place to start.

"Before anything else, I'll admit that the Queens didn't exactly tell me much about how much you know of our world. I don't want to accidentally insult your intelligence by explaining things you might already know." I said softly.

Bella smiled at me as we sat down on one of the many benches that had been placed in the garden. "I get that, and although I doubt you could ever do that, I would gladly tell you what I have learned so far. I should also preface this by saying that I am by nature a curious person and wanted to know everything, and there have been several late nights where I interrogated Alice about everything there was to know."

"You are close to her." I said matter of factually.

She nodded at that. "She is the sister I never had but always wanted as well as my best friend. I honestly wouldn't have survived the past couple of months if it wasn't for her and her mate."

That put my mind at ease at least a little, since I worried that the Seer might try and steal my mate from me, and I just couldn't resist taking her hand in my own, which earned me another smile from her.

"So, I suppose I should start at the beginning, I met Edward and the rest of their family when I went to live with my father for my final year of high school. He was so obvious about being something supernatural that being the natural curious person that I am, had no other choice than to investigate.

There are legends that the local shifters tell around the campfire about the Cold Ones that I've heard most of my childhood, and everything I remembered when it came to characteristics and such from those stories pointed to Edward and his family. I confirmed my suspicions not soon after and when I confronted him about it, he did not deny it, but it were the rest of his siblings that explained things to me. He claimed I was his mate, but for some reason that I still can't figure out, I knew he wasn't, and both Alice and Rosalie confirmed this. They explained to me the intricacies of the mating bond, and what it felt like. I will also admit that I honestly did not believe it until I saw you for the first time. I never really believed in love at first sight or the concept of true love outside of books."

"I understand, and while we are admitting things, I also never really believed in soul mates either, not even when my brother found his mate. You changed all of that though, because the moment I laid eyes on you, the past thousand years were worth it." I said softly.

Bella smiled sweetly at that. "A thousand years? I can't imagine the things you've seen. How old were you when you were turned, if you don't mind my asking?"

"I was sixteen when Alec and I were turned by Sulpicia. We were about to be burned at the stake for witchcraft when they intervened and saved us. We've been loyal to them ever since." I said kindly.

She nodded at that. "I can imagine how that would inspire loyalty, and while I don't know a lot about my mother and aunts, I do get the feeling that they are kind women with big hearts and a love for family, at least within these walls. I also get the feeling that the Volturi as a whole are more like a family then I initially thought."

"We try to be, and you would be right that it mostly just within the walls of the Castle, because we can't show that to the outside for obvious reasons. We have to be seen as the cold upholders of the law to the rest of the world, otherwise people might start a coup again, and no one would want such loss of life." I said with a soft smile, which was probably the first one in a few hundred years.

Bella nodded and smiled at me. "I can only agree with that, plus I don't know what to expect from a vampire war."

"I am sure the Queens will be able to paint a more accurate picture of that, I haven't really experienced one myself." I said honestly.

She smiled at that. "To be honest, I would be glad never to experience one either."

I nodded at her as I scooted closer to her, feeling the overwhelming need to be close to her.

Bella's POV

It was surprising to see stoic Jane scoot closer to me and I just couldn't help but take her hand in my own. "So? Where do we go from here. I don't think I'm ready for another relationship yet, but I also want to do right by you. The last thing I want is to cause you unnecessary pain."

"You will find that the mating bond won't allow us to go slow. Now that we've found each other our bond will push us together at every moment. I already find myself fighting to not show everyone that you are my mate, and I am sure in your heart you feel the exact same, but I also want you to be as comfortable as possible, because our bond also won't allow anything to potentially hurt it, including anything we could do. We can't exactly do the human courting, since I can't really take you out on dates without us getting weird looks, which would in turn spark my possessive feelings towards you. I will also admit that I am a bit of a sadistic bitch at times, and that I will sometimes act irrationally." I said softly.

"You know, I do feel that too. It doesn't sit right in my heart that some part of me isn't ready to call you mine. It is just that everything Edward did to me left its marks in both my head and my heart, and while I know in my heart that you won't hurt me like he did, l just can't seem to quiet my mind. As for you acting irrationally, I am sure that you'll find that I am no different." I said softly.

Then Jane did something very unexpected, she crawled into my lap and wrapped her arms around me. "I swear that I'm going to make him pay for what he did to you Bella, you have my word. I promise to always be there when you need to talk. I may not be the most emphatic person in the world but I promise to try for you."

I smiled and just couldn't help but nuzzle my nose in her neck, inhaling her scent deeply, which was a completely new experience for me. I had never before felt such an instinctual urge before. "I know you will, and I hope that you also will be able to build a friendship with Alice, because I don't know if I can ever truly be whole without her in my life."

"I will be forever thankful to Alice. She kept my mate safe from harm to the best of her abilities, and I could never see her as a threat anymore. I'll admit I was a bit worried before you told me she was mated, and I will do everything in my power to build something of a friendship with her." She said with a soft smile.

I smiled at her. "I'm sure she will try and be less bubbly in trying to become your friend, and once Jasper comes back I think she'll actually succeed at that too. I do wonder about one other thing though. Why did you hiss at my mother when she kissed my head this morning?"

She sighed softly at that. "I'm not proud of that happening, but it was a purely instinctual reaction. My scent isn't on you yet so my base instinct is to be possessive over you, which is part of the reason I am being so uncharacteristically clingy right now."

I smiled at her. "Is there anything I can do to help with that Jane?"

"Several things, but none of which I feel you are ready for. This is good enough for now, if you're okay with that." She said softly.

I smiled and nodded. "I am, it feels calming to have you so close, plus I think you look adorable in my lap."

She gave me a light glare at that. "I am not adorable. I've spent centuries distancing myself from that image."

I smiled and pressed a soft kiss to her neck, just because I couldn't help myself. "I get the feeling that you've never had anyone you could show your true self to in private, and I just want you to know that when we are alone you can always be yourself. There is nothing you could do that would scare me away from you."

"There are few places we ever have privacy here in the Castle, but very few people bother me in my room, so that is probably as private as we will get. It is also conveniently located next to yours." She said softly.

"May I see your room? I am curious what you do when you're not on duty, so to speak." I asked kindly.

She nodded and immediately got off my lap, to which I couldn't resist the slight pout on my face. "I would be honored to show you my room Bella. I think you will be pleasantly surprised."

I smiled and hooked my arm with hers as we made our way back into the Castle. "Before we go to your room, would you mind taking a slight detour to the kitchen? I'm kind of hungry."

"Of course Bella. I just don't know how to cook. I could ask our secretary if you want." Jane said with a sweet smile.

"I can make myself a quick sandwich Jane. There is no need to bother anyone with that. I promise it won't take five minutes." I said softly, not really wanting anyone else to intrude on our private time.

She merely nodded and led me to the kitchen, and not for the first time I was in awe of all of the beautiful artwork that was displayed on the walls, some of them clearly being new, but also works that were clearly centuries old.

As we walked into the kitchen and I got to work on making myself a sandwich, Jane busied herself with selecting something to drink for me, which seemed to be a bigger challenge than I had expected, since she was adamant on making me coffee.

Jane's POV

After Bella had her lunch, where I had accidentally botched her coffee, although she was kind enough not to say anything about it, we made our way to my room, although I hoped that soon that would become our room, which I had good hopes for given how today had gone so far.

As we walked into my room, she looked around for a good five minutes, and I couldn't help but be a little bit nervous about what she thought of it. "You know, this actually comes pretty close to what I thought your room would look like, besides the movie collection."

I smiled at her, now finally at peace to let go and be myself a bit. "You're surprisingly not the first one to ever say that, but whenever I have time off I like to either lose myself in a good book or watch a movie, although I suspect that both of those activities will be a lot more interesting soon."

"Why Jane, are you asking me to spend the night already?" She asked cheekily.

"Only if you would want to Bella. I would never force such things on you." I said honestly.

She smiled at me as we took a seat, and I couldn't help but smile as she sank into my couch and actually groaned out of contentment. "I'm never getting out of this couch again. Also, I was only teasing. I would love to spend the night with you. I don't think I could sleep without a vampire present anymore. It is the only thing that keeps my nightmares at bay."

Now I was intrigued. "What nightmares love?" I asked softly.

She blushed a little at that. "All of my life I've had these nightmares that I just can't seem to interpret. It's always the same too. Something faceless, but unmistakably ancient that whispers unspeakable things in my ear while all of the people that have ever wronged me are on the floor writhing in agony, what scares me most is that I revel in that agony."

I will admit that surprised me a little. "I think, my love, that you might have a similar gift to mine, because while I remember little of my human life, that same dream was a part of my nights for many years. Was it a hooded and cloaked figure, shrouded in darkness?" I asked softly.

She nodded at me. "Yes, I never see a face, all I see is this long billowing robe and the darkest voice I have ever heard."

"Have you told your mother about this? She might have some insights." I asked softly, not wanting to overstep the Queen's authority, even with my mate.

Bella shook her head at that. "Not yet, it didn't really come up, and honestly, not even Alice and the others know of this nightmare. They think that my nightmares revolve around Edward, which in a way it does, because he has been the most prominent victim of whatever this is over the last months. My parents are still there in the background, but he and Carlisle are always the first ones to fall."

I nodded and pulled her close. "You don't have to tell her if you don't want, but with the way the maternal bond works, it is bound to come up sooner or later."

"I know, but it just hasn't come up yet. I'm sure at some point in the following week she'll bring it up." Bella said softly as she cuddled into me.

While I was usually against any form of intimacy, I just couldn't help but rethink that right now, because being so close to Bella made me feel a peace I hadn't felt in centuries. "We should tell the Queens of your potential gift, because the one that can give you and them insights on them usually resides in Denali with his mate."

She nodded and smiled at me. "Could we wait until later though? I'm way too comfortable right now."

I smiled at her. "Of course love, there is no need to rush."

Bella smiled at that. "There is one thing I want to know if I am going to spend the night here with you. Will you please lie with me?"

"Of course Bella, I would do anything to ensure you were happy, but that does mean we'll have to go and inform your mother, because I have a feeling that she will have some opinions on this, and honestly, the sooner we do this, the better it is for everyone." I said softly.

She nodded before getting up. "And here I thought you were comfortable. Let us go and find your mother and best friend, because I am sure the Pixie is bursting at the seams to see you again and to ensure that you are safe. I have a bit of a reputation after all."

Bella smiled and hooked her arm with mine when I got up. "I'm sure she will, although I think she knows that you won't hurt me. She saw us together before we even got here, I am however very glad that you're here to keep me safe from Hurricane Alice and her shopping sprees."

I laughed lightly at that, something I had never done ever since I was turned, but Bella made it easy to let go a little, at least in private.

As we once again made our way through the halls and to the Throne Room, I just couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, something I fully attributed to my mate, and much to the visible horror of those we passed in the Halls.

It had only been a day but already she had proven to be a very positive influence on me. Never before I would've thought I would be comfortable with all the things I had done today, and would likely do with Bella in the future.

I honestly couldn't wait for the future, and perhaps I should have a chat with the Pixie once her mother got it into her mind that she had spent too little time with Bella.

That was still something that boggled my mind like nothing else did. I had always expected that if I ever found my mate I would be extremely possessive of her and would never let anyone near her, but with Didyme I knew for a fact that she would forever be safe, and more importantly I felt that Bella needed that maternal attachment since she had missed out on so much of her childhood because of her birth mother.

Bella's POV

When we walked into the Throne Room ten minutes later, since Jane very considerately had walked at my pace, Didyme smiled kindly at us. "This is certainly a surprise. We certainly didn't expect to see you for most of the day."

I smiled at her. "We covered a lot in the past few hours, mother. We felt it was best to let you and the other Queens know about this so proper preparations can be made."

Didyme smiled at that. "That is very proper, sweetheart. I see your times spent with your mate has done more than just give your insights. What is it I can do for you, since your Aunts are in conference over the appropriate action to take once the rest of the Cullens get here."

"Don't all three of you get to have a say in that?" I asked softly.

"We do sweetling, but we all have very defined roles in our triumvirate. Sulpicia is the leader, Athenodora is the strategist, and I am the diplomat. I bring balance between us when either of them get to much into their heads. I merely advise them on matters of potential punishments, making sure they are just." She said with a sweet smile.

I nodded at that. "Bella love, don't forget why we sought your mother out." Jane said softly.

"Yes of course love. One of the things we discussed were the nightmares that I've had for most of my life, and how those might tie in to my potential gift." I said softly.

"Ah yes, your gift, that has indeed been a point of discussion between us, and we've taken the liberty of inviting one of our dear friends whose gift is to see gifts in both humans and vampires. He and his mate should be here in a few days. You deserve to know what you will be capable of, although we do have some theories. Oh, and Jane. Your brother was looking for you. He wanted your advice before he leaves for his mission." Didyme said with a kind smile.

Jane nodded and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek before taking her leave, and as I expected Didyme immediately gathered me in her arms. "I also have a surprise for you. After deliberating with your aunts we felt that you as our Princess deserve a prominent place at our side, both while you are still human and when you are turned. We also know that you have some issues with being in the spotlight like that, it would make it clear to everyone that you are forever under our protection, no matter how long you would decide to remain human."

I smiled brightly at her. "To be honest, mother. I've done a lot of thinking while I was talking to Jane and I have come to the realization that whichever way things may go once the rest of the Cullens get here, my life as I knew it will be over and I am at peace with that. I would be more than okay with Jane turning me once everything is resolved, having said that however, I do have a request I would like to make once I am turned however. If you all rule that the shifters have to be dealt with, I want to help deal with them. There are several of them who thought it was okay to shun me for choosing to the Cullens over them, one of them even going as far as to try and claim me by force."

Didyme growled softly at that. "Of course sweetling, this has actually made our mind up. Athenodora, being the oldest of us by several millennia has a very bloody history with the real werewolves, or Children of the Moon as we call them and over the millennia we've hunted them to near extinction. Everyone bearing any form of similarity to them can only be descendant from them and will receive the same treatment unless evidence of the contrary can be presented. We do not judge without evidence after all."

I smiled at her as we walked to her throne, where a smaller throne now stood next to, although this one looked infinitely more comfortable. It also turned out that looks were very deceiving, because while the thrones of the Queens looked like they were solid stone, they were really comfortable looking armchairs which had been encased by a thin, but ornate layer of stone that made it appear like they were solid stone. "I honestly hadn't expected that your thrones look as comfortable as they are."

"When one does little else then sit on ones butt all day, you want to have a chair that is comfortable. While we don't really feel the hard seats, because there was a time they were solid, we found that having that little bit of comfort added to our thrones did wonders for our mood. It is also the reason why we chose a similar seat for you, because as our Princess, you deserve to be comfortable, and the same would go when Sulpicia finds her bond daughter. Athenodora's bond daughter is usually not here in Volterra. She's a bit of a free spirit." Didyme said with a sweet smile as we took a seat, and what surprised me more was the phone she plucked from the front of her dress and put it down on the table next to her.

I nodded at her as I literally sunk into the comfortable pillows of my ornate armchair, because I couldn't exactly call this a throne like my mother's. "Thank you so much Mom, it is almost as comfortable as the couch Jane has in her room, although I am pretty sure that nothing can top that."

Didyme smiled at that. "I figured as much, since it took her nearly a decade to find it. I think somewhere deep inside she knew that she eventually would find her mate in a human and she wanted them to be comfortable, what I don't expect is that she anticipated that human to be my daughter too, because as you might have noticed, vampires do not share easily."

I nodded at that. "Speaking of vampires sharing me, where is my Pixie of a sister? I would've expected her to hover around somewhere close by."

"Sulpicia has given her a special place in the Guard already. She will be tasked with upgrading our wardrobes a little and design some new clothes for the Guard. Robes in this day and age are a bit of a giveaway, so in order to help us keep our secret, Alice is going to be busy with that for the foreseeable future, as well as buying you some new clothes, if you're okay with that of course." She said kindly.

I smiled at that, knowing that if anyone was a master at updating the Volturi dress style, it would be Alice. "I've learned a long time ago to never bet against Alice, and I am sure that whatever clothes she picks out for me, she has already seen me in countless times, so I'm more than okay with that."

Didyme smiled at me as she took my hand in her own, the two of us talking for most of the afternoon until she took me to the kitchen for dinner.