Steve couldn't believe it. Dustin Henderson, unapologetic nerd, certified genius and level 20 Artificer, was getting married. It was the best news that Steve had received in a very long time, and he wasn't ashamed to admit that when Dustin asked him to be his best man, he got emotional. He gladly accepted and promised his best buddy that he wouldn't let him down. A delighted Dustin said he'd call the others to share the good news. They had already arranged to meet on Saturday afternoon for drinks to celebrate Dustin's birthday, and now they would be adding wedding plans to the agenda.
Saturday afternoon couldn't come soon enough. That said, work was a little more bearable knowing that he would see his friends in a few days. He didn't even care that Holly and her little gang returned to the mall and tried to steal cassettes from Sam Goody. Even Robin commented on his uncharacteristically good mood. Steve just shrugged. He couldn't remember the last time he had something to look forward to, but he was acutely aware of the responsibility of being best man. It wasn't something to be taken lightly. On the contrary, Steve intended to fulfill his duties to the best of his abilities. Steve wasn't just going to be Dustin's best man—he was going to be the BEST best man ever.
Steve arrived early at The Hideout, nursing a cold beer as he watched the TV above the bar. The news was on, but this time Eddie failed to make an appearance. Instead, they were talking about Manuel Noriega, the Panamanian dictator, being jailed for racketeering and drug charges. Steve downed his beer and ordered a fresh one.
Lucas was next to arrive. He'd come straight from the airport after flying in from Chicago. He admitted to Steve that he'd had to pull some strings to get the time off work, having recently been drafted to play for the Bulls. He ordered himself a Coke II and chatted to Steve while they waited for the others. Mike and Will turned up soon after. Will had recently graduated from RISD and ran a small printing business in Providence. It earned him enough to keep pursuing his artwork, which had a small but loyal following in the Dungeons and Dragons community. Apart from Steve, Mike was the only other one of the boys who had stayed behind in Hawkins. He wanted to be close to El, so he was studying for his Chemistry degree at the nearby Ivy Tech while working part-time at the mall.
Dustin turned up not long after. Still wearing his trademark 'thinking cap', he burst into the bar like a bull in a china shop. When the boys saw (well, heard him) enter the premises, they cheered and beckoned him over to their table. Steve pulled him into a tight hug and thrust a cold brewski into his hand.
"The man of the hour! It's good to see you."
"It's been a minute," Dustin chuckled, clinking his bottle against Steve's before taking a seat. "Sorry I'm late. I flew in last night and I forgot to set my alarm. I would've headed straight over but my mom insisted I have breakfast first."
"Did she make you her special birthday pancakes?" Mike grinned.
"With blueberries and whipped cream," Dustin nodded with a smile.
"How are things out in Seattle?" asked Will.
"Things are good! We're working on a couple of cool projects at the moment. I can't say too much about them but it might involve me visiting Houston in a few months."
"Houston?" Lucas repeated. "You mean…"
"NASA, baby!" Dustin cried, raising his drink into the air. "Of course, it would only be working in partnership with them, but still, it's frickin' NASA!"
While everyone else had gone off and found success, Dustin had bested them all. After graduating with his degree in Aerospace Engineering, he'd been offered a job with the Boeing Company. Most people would have been happy at that and coasted for the rest of their lives, but not Dustin. He still had his sights set on NASA, and it looked like he might finally be making some headway with that. After taking another swig of his beer, Dustin wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and set it down on the table.
"So, how have you guys been?" he asked. "Lucas, when are you gonna invite us to The Windy City?"
"Congratulations on getting picked, by the way," said Will.
"Second pick's good, right?" asked Mike.
"It's great," Steve chimed in. "We got the next Michael Jordan on our hands!"
Lucas grinned and bowed his head as the others began to spontaneously sing (horribly off-key) Sirius by The Alan Parsons Project. When they finally quieted down, he shrugged.
"It's gonna be pretty hectic for the next few months, what with training, and the new season starting in October. You guys can come up around Christmas, if you want?"
"I'll hold you to that," said Dustin. He took another swig of his beer before slamming it down on the table and declaring loudly, "Okay! Enough small talk. We came here first and foremost to celebrate the most important day of the entire year."
"Fourth of July celebrations were last week," Steve joked.
"And Canada Day was at the start of the month," Lucas pointed out.
"The Olympics doesn't start for another couple of weeks," Will mused.
"Very funny," Dustin patted the table and held out his hands. "Come on, cough 'em up."
The guys grumbled as they pulled Dustin's birthday gifts from under the table.
"You're not supposed to demand your presents," Steve pointed out, pushing his gift across the table towards Dustin.
"I'm famed for my brains, not my manners," Dustin replied unabashedly, already tearing at the wrapping paper on Will's present like a giddy school kid. As he removed the last of the paper, a large box with a dragon on the front was revealed. "Wrath of the Immortals! Thanks, man. This is awesome."
"I thought we could play it this weekend," said Will hopefully.
"Hell yes. Mike, tell your mom we need to use the basement."
"We can't," said Mike. "She converted it into her own personal gym a few months back."
Dustin looked appalled at this revelation. "But that's always been our base of operations! Where the hell are we supposed to play?"
"You can play at my place," Steve offered. "Just don't expect me to join in."
With the campaign rescued, Dustin resumed opening his presents. The set of paints and deck of combat cards from Steve were well received, as was the Chicago Bulls cap from Lucas (Dustin immediately swapped out his old hat for the bright red one). Dustin was delighted by the t-shirt Will had made for him. It had a lifelike drawing of Nog the Dwarf on the front; its likeness to Dustin was uncanny. There were shouts of protest as Dustin pulled his shirt off over his head, flashing his bare torso to everyone in the bar, before putting on the tee. He laughed when he opened Mike's present to reveal a My Little Pony figurine, and said that Alberta would love it, too.
"Speaking of Alberta," said Will. "Congratulations again on getting engaged."
"I still can't believe it," said Lucas, shaking his head. "You're getting married!"
"When are you going to meet her?" asked Steve.
"Are we sure that she's even real?" Mike joked.
"Oh, she's real," Dustin assured them. "She looks like an even hotter version of Julia Roberts."
"Like how Suzie Bingham was hotter than Phoebe Cates?" he teased.
"Exactly. She's funny, smart—no, a genius—and she LARPs."
Steve frowned. "Sorry, LARPs? Could someone translate into English for me what that means?"
"Live-action role-playing," Will explained. "It's like Dungeons and Dragons, but players physically portray their characters."
"Wow. I thought there was nothing lamer than playing Dungeons and Dragons, but I was wrong."
"She's perfect," Dustin declared. "Of course, I was gonna ask her to marry me."
"You guys met at MIT, right?" asked Mike.
"In our first year," Dustin nodded. "We were both in the Tolkien society. We spent our first semester learning Sindarin together."
Dustin's expression turned dreamy and he sighed. Steve glanced at Will with confusion.
"It's the language the elves speak in Lord of the Rings," he explained.
Steve nodded. "Of course, it is."
"How did you propose?" asked Lucas.
"You'll love this," said Dustin giddily. "So, I fly to California to see her for the weekend…"
"What's she doing in California?" asked Steve.
"Have you heard of a company called Apple Computer, Inc.?" When Steve said no, everyone else chorused yes. Dustin continued, "They do stuff with computers, she works for them in R . Right now they're developing portable personal computers. It's gonna make home computers a thing of the past, really cool stuff."
"Super cool," said Steve faintly, only understanding half of the words Dustin was saying.
"Anyway, I go to visit her and I suggest that we check out the local theme park. It's a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky. I guide her towards the ferris wheel, and just before we get on, I slip the guy operating it a twenty and ask him for a few extra minutes at the top to enjoy the view. As we reach the top, I hand her a copy of The Fellowship of the Ring. She opens it, and boom! I've hollowed out the middle to fit an engagement ring. After she got over the fact that I'd needlessly destroyed a perfectly good book, she said yes!"
"Wow, that's actually really sweet," Mike conceded.
"I'm happy for you, man," said Lucas, patting Dustin on the back.
"Yeah, she sounds great," said Will before adding with a sly grin, "If she's real."
The guys laughed and Dustin rolled his eyes, although he was smiling, too. Steve raised his hand to get everyone's attention.
"Alright, now that everyone's here and we've got birthday presents out of the way, we can move on to discussing the most important part of the wedding—the bachelor party."
"Yes," said Lucas, punching the air. "We gotta go to Vegas!"
"Hell no," Mike cried. "That's where everyone goes."
"Do you have a better suggestion?"
"I dunno. What about New Orleans?"
Will groaned. "I'd rather have the party here than New Orleans."
"Hold up," said Dustin loudly. "Hold on just one second. I'm happy to continue this discussion after everyone's arrived."
The guys frowned at him.
"Who's missing?" asked Lucas. Suddenly, he looked worried, "You didn't invite Max, did you?"
"You invited Max?" asked Mike, horrified. "Great. Now El is gonna wonder why she wasn't invited."
"If we're inviting Max and El, that means we ought to invite everyone in the party," Will reasoned.
"Hell no!" yelled Lucas. "We are not inviting Erica!"
"What about Robin?" asked Steve. "You can't invite everyone else and leave her out. That's lame."
Dustin shook his head. "El, Max, Erica and Robin are part of the Fellowship, but this is a bachelor party. That means no girls."
The guys shared confused glances as Steve asked, "Then who are we missing?"
Before Dustin could answer, several patrons, including the barman, ran past their table towards the exit. Some of them exited the building while others had their faces pressed against the windows.
"What's going on?" asked Will.
The guys all stood and hurried towards the exit to look for themselves. When they exited the bar, Steve's mouth fell open with shock. He had expected to see a couple of drunk guys outside the bar fighting, or maybe something weird and Hawkins-esque like a demogorgon. What he never could have predicted was the sleek, black stretch limousine currently parked outside of the dive bar. It wouldn't have looked out of place on Sunset Boulevard but in Hawkins? A spaceship might as well have landed.
People on the street had stopped to stare and point at the vehicle. Rock music was blaring from the interior, which only grew louder when the sunroof slid open. A moment passed before a mane of wild, shaggy brown hair popped out of the top and Steve felt his stomach drop.
"Oh my lord," gasped one of the onlookers. "It's Eddie Munson!"
"Eddie!" Dustin cried with delight, waving wildly to get the man's attention.
Eddie turned. When he saw Dustin, he whipped off his sunglasses and pointed at Dustin.
"Dustin Henderson!" he yelled.
Rather than exiting the vehicle through the door like a normal person, Eddie clambered out of the sunroof and slid down the side of the limo onto the sidewalk. He and Dustin embraced like old war buddies. Lucas, Will and Mike quickly swarmed around Eddie with warm greetings and hugs. Steve was pushed back by the crowd of Hawkins residents desperate to get a look at Eddie, shouting his name and trying to shake his hand, welcoming him back to the town that had been baying for his blood only a few short years ago. Tammy Thompson, a girl Steve remembered from his year at school, shoved past him and forced her way to the front of the crowd to ask Eddie for an autograph.
"Sure thing, darlin'," Eddie grinned, pulling a black pen out of the front pocket of his denim jacket. "What's your name?"
Steve rolled his eyes. Of course, Eddie would bring his own pen for signing autographs. He probably had pre-signed headshots hidden in his hair. Unimpressed, Steve turned his back on the spectacle and returned to the bar. The guys reentered a few minutes later followed by Eddie. He hadn't even taken two steps onto the premises before he threw his hands up into the air and declared, "Drinks are on me!" to rapturous applause from all except Steve.
"Bev!" Eddie winked at the elderly barmaid who looked as rough as the establishment she ran. "You beautiful creature. How have you been? You miss me?"
"Missed you like a hole in the head," she replied, her voice rough like sandpaper. "It's good to see you, Junior."
Eddie blew her a kiss and let out a contented sigh as he looked around the dingy bar with a fond expression. "God, I've missed this place. I made my debut on that very stage."
Steve frowned at the 'stage', which was actually a riser cobbled together out of two-by-fours and shoved against a wall. Steve wouldn't trust standing on that thing, let alone prancing about with a guitar like Eddie was known to do.
The conversation largely centred around Eddie and his recent world tour, which did little to improve Steve's mood. He sat slumped back in his seat, watching with mounting annoyance as Eddie held court at the table. Everyone laughed at his jokes, even if they weren't that funny, and everyone kept thanking him for taking the time out of his busy schedule to be here.
"Of course, I'd make time to see you guys!" said Eddie before wrapping his arm around Dustin's shoulders. "I can tour anytime. You only turn twenty-one once in your life!"
"Hopefully, you only get married once in your life, too," Mike quipped.
"Good point, Mike," Steve cut in. "I think we should get back to our previous discussion—planning Henderson's bachelor party."
There were nods of agreement all round at that. Eddie took a swig from his can of Dr. Pepper before speaking again. "Harrington's right. The bachelor party isn't just an initiation into marriage. It is a solemn affair, an opportunity for us all to both mourn and celebrate your last days of singledom before you give yourself over completely to your darling Alberta, til death do you part."
"When you say it like that, maybe I'll pass on marriage," Mike muttered.
"Now, I know that I've been difficult to get hold of, given that I've just got back from the Asian leg of our world tour," Eddie continued. "But I promise that touring and recording our new album won't impact on me fulfilling my best man duties."
Steve blinked. "Excuse me?"
Eddie smiled at Steve with that ridiculous toothy grin. "Didn't Dustin tell you? He asked me to be his best man! No word of a lie, I cried when he asked me."
"No," said Steve firmly.
Eddie's smile fell. "No?"
"No! You can't be best man."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because I am," said Steve angrily. "Henderson already asked me."
Steve looked expectantly at Dustin to back him up. To his horror, Dustin looked guilt-ridden.
"Here's the thing, guys…" he began.
Steve groaned and rubbed his tired eyes. "Henderson…"
"Look, you're both my best friends, you can't expect me to choose between you," Dustin explained. "So, I figured, screw it. I want both of you to be my best man on my wedding day—my best men!"
Eddie considered it for a moment before smiling and nodding. "Yeah, I'm down with that." He caught Steve's eye and winked. "Guess this means I get to walk you down the aisle, Harrington."
Steve bristled but before he could protest, Will cleared his throat and spoke up.
"Uh, I hate to be the one to break it to you guys, but you can't have two best men at your wedding."
Dustin frowned. "Why not?"
"A marriage license requires two witnesses to sign. Usually, the duty falls to the best man and maid of honor," he explained.
"That's fine, I'll just have Steve and Eddie as my witnesses."
"Don't you think Alberta would like to have her maid of honor be her witness?" Will pressed. "You can't hog all of the witnesses."
Dustin looked crestfallen. "Oh yeah. Shit! I didn't think of that."
"What do we do now?" asked Eddie.
Dustin waved his hand dismissively. "It's fine, we'll work out the finer details later. I still want you both to be my best men, we can decide who'll sign the paperwork closer to the day."
Eddie shrugged. "Fine by me."
Steve clenched his jaw but said nothing. He was as far from fine about this as he possibly could be. No, he was livid. But there was no point in arguing with Dustin about it now. It was his birthday, after all. They were supposed to be celebrating. Steve tried to put on a brave face, but only moments later, Eddie infuriated him even further.
Right in the middle of Steve talking, Eddie dramatically slapped his forehead and gasped. "I almost forgot! Henderson, I haven't given you your birthday present yet. Hold on, I left it in the limo. I'll be right back."
The guys watched as Eddie made a mad dash out of the bar only to reappear moments later carrying a large box wrapped in brown paper. He placed it in front of Dustin, a shit-eating grin spread across his face.
"Happy birthday, buddy."
Curious, Dustin tore away the wrapping paper to reveal a—
"Oh my god!" Dustin leapt to his feet. "The Super Nintendo Entertainment System!"
"The what?" asked Steve.
"No way!" gasped Will.
"You're shitting me!" Mike exclaimed.
"That hasn't even been released yet," said Lucas in an awed voice. "How did you get it?"
Eddie shrugged. "I know a guy who knows a guy."
"Oh my god!" Dustin squealed and brandished the game that had been wrapped up with the console. "The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past! Okay, screw the campaign. Screw drinking! We're heading straight over to Harrington's place and playing this immediately!"
"Is that okay?" Mike asked Will.
"Fine by me," he laughed, pushing the D box aside. "We'll play this another time."
Chairs scraped loudly against the floor as everyone but Steve rose to their feet.
"Hey, hold on a second!" Steve cried. "I thought we were gonna have some drinks and catch up?"
"We've had some drinks," Dustin reasoned. "And we can catch up at your place while we play Zelda."
"I call dibs on having a shot after you die, Dustin," said Lucas quickly.
Steve watched as the guys quickly packed up their things and headed for the exit.
"I guess we're going," he mumbled before slowly trailing after them.