Erica sat across from Steve with her arms crossed and trademark haughty expression fixed to her face. She had only agreed to meet him on the condition that he pay for her lunch at Taco Bell. Steve hated coming into the mall on his days off, but this was an emergency. He had told her as much as he explained the situation that he'd gotten himself into. Everything was riding on the success of this bachelor party, and without Erica's help, he was royally screwed.
"So, will you do it?" he asked hopefully. "Will you help me plan this LARP event for Dustin?"
"For Dustin?" she scoffed. "I thought this was about getting one over Eddie Munson?"
"I mean… yeah, it is," he conceded. "It's both of those things."
Erica took a protracted drink from her extra large cup of Pepsi before answering. "Here's the problem, Steve. We've been in this situation before: you asked for my help for an agreed price, I gave that help, and then you failed to follow through with the payment of those services."
"It's kinda hard to give you a lifetime supply of free ice cream since the ice cream store burned down," Steve reminded her. "I had zero control over that!"
"I'm well aware that it burned down, you moron," she sneered. "The point still stands. You ask for help and then you don't pay up. I don't trust you, Steve Harrington."
"You can trust me this time," he assured her. "Just tell me what you want, I'm sure we can work something out."
Erica ate a few french fries in silent contemplation before speaking again. "Do you know what I love most about this country? Capitalism."
"Oh god, you're giving me the speech, aren't you?" he groaned.
Erica shot him an annoyed look before continuing, "This is a free market system where people are supposed to be paid for their services depending on how valuable their contributions are. So my ability to help you host the greatest LARP event ever and give Eddie Munson a showing up is very, very valuable to you. So, you want my help? It's gonna cost you."
"Just tell me how much and it's yours."
Erica leaned forward. "Five-hundred."
"Five-hundred dollars?" he choked.
"Cash."
"I don't have that kind of money," said Steve. When Erica rose to her feet as if to leave, he cried, "Wait! Just wait a second and let's talk about this."
Erica didn't move but she stayed standing. "I'm listening."
Steve pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and counted the bills inside. "This is everything I've got."
He had barely taken the money out of his wallet when Erica snatched it from his grasp. She counted the bills and shook her head in disgust. "Fifty bucks? Do I look like I'm running a charity here? I'm here to talk serious business!"
"Here," Steve slid a white plastic card across the table. "This is my staff discount card. It'll get you ten percent off most stores in the mall—fifteen percent off at Orange Julius."
Erica took the card and pocketed it. "Anything else?"
"Isn't that enough?"
Erica glared at him.
"Alright!" Steve snapped. "How about I give you free rides in my car for the next month?"
"Free rides for the next year," she demanded.
"Hell no. Best I can do is two months."
"Ten months."
"Six."
Erica considered the offer for a moment before nodding. "Six months is acceptable."
Steve sighed. "Anything else?"
"There is more thing," said Erica slowly. "I want you to get me Eddie's autograph."
Steve gaped at her. "Seriously?"
"A signed headshot, preferably," she clarified. "They're the most valuable ones."
"Why can't you ask him for one yourself?" he asked.
"Because asking a friend for an autograph is embarrassing. I'm not inclined to make a fool of myself."
"But it's okay to make a fool out of me?" he shot back.
"You're not friends with him, are you?" she pointed out.
Steve gritted his teeth in frustration. "Fine, I'll get you your damn autograph. Do you want my first-born child, too?"
"No, I think that concludes our negotiations," Erica thrust out her hand and Steve shook it. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you."
Steve didn't derive any pleasure from this interaction, but he kept that to himself. "So what now?"
"Right now, you can drive me home," she replied. "I'm gonna need a few weeks to plan out a story for us to play. I'll keep you informed of what supplies we'll need."
"Supplies?" he asked.
"Costumes, props, weapons," she explained. "Then you have to account for food, transportation, accomodation—"
"Hold up," Steve cut in. "I thought this was gonna be an afternoon running about the woods."
"We could do that—if you want it to be lame."
"This all sounds like it's gonna cost a lot of money," he grumbled.
"If you're serious about hosting a better bachelor party than Eddie, this is what it's gonna take."
"Fine," he sighed. "What can I do in the meantime?"
"You just focus on getting me the money I need for supplies," she instructed. "Leave the rest to me."
Steve was beginning to regret the deal he'd made with Erica. For the first week after their meeting, she called him every night demanding to be chauffeured across the length and breadth of Hawkins. The first night he dropped her off at the arcade. The night after that, she wanted to go to the movies. When he picked her up from her house, he wasn't expecting three of her friends to pile into the car after her. He had to remind her that the free rides were only for her, not for her buddies. She complained but promised not to pull that stunt again. A couple of days later, he drove her to the mall and back. But when she called Saturday morning and told him that she needed him to make a two-hour round trip to Indianapolis, he point-blank refused.
"We had a deal, Harrington!" she reminded him over the phone. "Six months of free rides. It's not even been a week and you're reneging on our agreement!"
"The deal's off," he replied. "I'll figure out how to do this LARP thing on my own."
He slammed the phone down on the receiver and began to make his way back to bed when the phone rang again. He picked it up and wasn't surprised to hear Erica's voice on the line.
"Fine, you don't have to drive me to Indianapolis," she relented. "But can you at least drop me off at the bus station?"
"I'll pick you up in ten," he said before dropping the receiver again.
Steve tried telling himself that meeting Erica's demands was a worthwhile sacrifice just to see that smug smile wiped from Eddie's face, but right now, it didn't feel like it was worth the trouble. He likely would have ditched the plan altogether if Dustin hadn't called him to say how much he was looking forward to LARPing for the first time.
"And we'll get to do it together!" said Dustin happily. "I know it's not really your kind of thing, so I really appreciate you trying."
"Uh…" Steve hesitated. Although he was organizing the event, he hadn't had any intention of actually participating.
"You are going to be playing with us, aren't you?" asked Dustin.
"Of course, I am!" Steve replied brightly. "Can't wait."
Dustin sounded relieved. Steve was dreading taking part, but the last thing he wanted to do was let down his best friend, so he assured Dustin that the event was going to be 'epic'.
He should have known the event was bound for disaster when he got a phone call from an angry Max Mayfield, demanding to know why Lucas's sister had been invited to Dustin's bachelor party but she, Lucas's girlfriend and friend of Dustin, had not. Steve tried to explain that Erica was only helping him plan the event, that she wasn't actually going to attend it, but Max wouldn't listen.
"There's no way in hell I'm missing out on this, even if it is something lame and nerdy," she replied. "Just tell me the time and place."
Reluctantly, Steve told her the date and location of the LARP event. It wasn't long before he received another phone call, this time from an incensed Mike Wheeler.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mike cried. "El just got a phone call from Max saying you've invited her to the bachelor party!"
"I didn't invite her," Steve protested. "She invited herself!"
"Well, now El thinks she's going, too," said Mike. "Just don't get any ideas about inviting Nancy. You know she wouldn't go anyway."
"I wasn't planning on," Steve bristled.
Once Robin caught wind that the other girls would be attending, she asked if she could join in, too.
"It's supposed to be a bachelor party," Steve argued. "Guys only."
"Urgh, that's so archaic!" she cried. "It's 1992, Steve. You gotta get with the times! Women can attend bachelor parties if they want to."
"Fine!" he snapped. "You can come along. Erica says we're short on numbers for the game, so I suppose it wouldn't be a total disaster to have you there."
"Excellent," said Robin brightly. "I'll bring Vickie along, too."
Steve couldn't help but notice that wasn't a request. And so it was that a few weeks later, Max, El, Robin and Vickie would join Steve, Eddie, Dustin, Will, Mike and Lucas on what was supposed to be a boys-only bachelor party in the woods. Erica was bringing along some of her friends who had LARPed before: Dax and Jake would be referees who ensured the rules were being followed, while Tanya, Kelly, April would act as something called non-player characters. Steve didn't know what the hell that meant, but Erica assured him that their presence was essential to the game.
While it was unusual to have a bachelor party before the engagement party, Steve took advantage of everyone's schedules being free at the first opportunity. He also thought it would give him a leg up in his battle against Eddie to be the better best man. The game would be played in the woods, but since Mirkwood held such bad memories for so many of his friends, Steve suggested they play the game somewhere further afield. Steve wasn't sure how he was going to transport eighteen people without ferrying them back and forth in groups of four. Much to his annoyance and relief, Eddie offered to drive the majority of their group in his beat up Chevrolet van. Everyone else would have to squeeze into Steve's car. Erica insisted on sitting shotgun in Steve's car while Dustin, Robin and Vickie were squeezed into the back seats.
"Everyone strapped in and ready to go?" asked Steve as he turned the key in the ignition.
Erica rummaged through the pile of cassette tapes Steve kept in his glove compartment. "Haven't you got any decent music for us to listen to?"
"What are you talking about?" said Steve. "That is decent music."
"It's all old stuff," she grumbled, turning one of the cassettes over in her hand. "Who the hell is Duran Duran?"
Steve snatched the tape from Erica's hand and popped it into the cassette player. "Only the greatest band of all time."
"Steve has a man-crush on Simon Le Bon," Dustin teased.
"I do not," Steve protested. "I just appreciate genius when I hear it."
The rapid drumbeat of the song Rio began to play and Steve tapped the steering wheel in time to the music.
"Good lord," Erica groaned.
It was about an hour's drive from Hawkins to Fort Harrison State Park. When they pulled into the parking lot, Steve climbed out of his car and looked up at the clear cerulean sky peeking through the canopy of trees.
"Perfect camping weather, huh?" he said brightly.
"If you say so," Robin grumbled, batting away a mosquito.
While everyone else clambered out of the back of Eddie's van, Eddie hurried over to speak to Steve.
"Harrington," he said breezily. "Long time no see. You miss me?"
"Missed you like a toothache," Steve replied.
Eddie nudged him on the shoulder and laughed. "You don't really mean that! You find my eccentricities charming."
"Is there something I can help you with?" asked Steve impatiently.
"Oh nothing. I just wanted to wish you good luck with today's event," he said. "You know, I've got a bit of experience with LARPing, so if you need help with anything, don't hesitate to ask."
"I'll manage just fine on my own, thanks," Steve replied coolly. Even if he did need help, the last person he'd ask for assistance would be Eddie Munson.
Eddie simply shrugged. "Suit yourself."
Everyone collected their belongings from Eddie and Steve's vehicles and followed Erica to a nearby clearing where they would be setting up camp for the night. As they all began pitching their tents, Eddie cleared his throat and said, "Uh, sorry guys, but I didn't bring a tent."
Steve paused laying out his tent pegs on the ground to glare at Eddie. "You had one job, Munson: bring your own tent, and you couldn't even do that?"
"Well, I've been kind of busy being on tour and all," Eddie argued. "What's the big deal? I'll just share with one of you guys."
"You're not sharing with us," said Erica.
"You can share with us," Dustin offered.
"Dude, it's a three-man tent and there are already four of us sharing," Lucas pointed out.
"Steve isn't sharing with anyone," Robin pointed out. "I'm sure he won't mind sharing a tent with you."
Steve stared daggers at Robin, but she was pointedly avoiding his gaze, busying herself with building her own tent. Eddie spun on his heel to face Steve and grinned at him.
"Looks like we'll be bunk buddies," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at him.
"Just get over here and give me a hand," he grumbled.
"Oh, so assertive," Eddie teased, sauntering over to Steve's side. "I like it."
Steve thrust a couple of tent poles into Eddie's hands. "Hold these."
"Check it out, guys," Eddie chuckled. "Harrington wants me to hold his big rod."
Mike and Lucas snorted with laughter. Max rolled her eyes and muttered, 'real mature'. Steve could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.
"Cut the crap or you'll be sleeping outside the tent tonight," he warned.
"Sorry," Eddie smirked. "I'll behave myself."
"Is that even possible?" Steve wondered aloud.
"Dunno, I've never tried," Eddie admitted before winking at him. "Guess we'll find out."
Steve felt his blush intensify and busied himself assembling his tent. Eddie was so annoying, he thought. And distracting. The way he kept smiling at Steve and nudging his shoulder made Steve feel discombobulated for reasons he didn't want to probe too deeply. Once they had their tents pitched, everyone gathered around the back of Steve's car for further instruction.
"Alright, first of all, I just want to thank everyone for making the time to come here today," he began. "We've all got busy schedules so I really appreciate you making the effort to come out and be part of Dustin's bachelor party."
Robin whooped and enthusiastically clapped her hands. Sporadic cheers and applause from the others followed. Once everyone quieted down again, Steve continued. "Okay, so we are here to take part in some live-action roleplay. Most of us are doing it for the first time, including myself, but we have some experts on hand to help us: Dax and Jake will be our referees while Erica, Tanya, Kelly, and April will be acting as NPCs for the duration."
Erica's friends gave a shy wave and introduced themselves to the group. Steve cleared his throat and began to read from the script that Erica had written for him.
"So, let me tell you about the story that we're going to be playing: The year is 2199. A company of colonial marines has been hired to investigate a previously unexplored planet known as LV-263 which looks remarkably like Fort Ben. Orbital scans show the presence of technology belonging to an advanced race of aliens who traverse the stars. They are known to the native inhabitants as Apexes. The marines are tasked with obtaining this technology. Players will be split into two major factions: humans who landed on LV-263 and the native anthropoids known as Simia. The Simia's primary objective is to prevent the humans from obtaining this sacred technology, and to remove the humans from their home planet by any means necessary. Whether they choose to do that peacefully or through more violent means is up to you. The team that completes their objective first wins the game. Any questions?"
"I have a question," said Will. "Are the Simia different from the Apexes or are they the same creature with a different name?"
Steve blinked. "Uh…"
Steve didn't have a clue and turned to Erica for help. Erica let out a heavy sigh and stepped up to stand by Steve's side.
"We don't want to give too much away, but the Apexes and Simia are different species," she explained. "More will be revealed as the story progresses."
Mike was the next to speak up. "Is this basically an Alien/Planet of the Apes crossover?"
"It is," Erica confirmed. "With a sprinkling of Predator thrown in for good measure."
"See, that doesn't make any sense," he argued. "The primates from Planet of the Apes live on Earth way in the future. How can they be inhabiting an alien planet only a couple of hundred years from now?"
Erica's eyes darkened. "I don't know, Mike. Maybe some advanced alien life forms kidnapped a bunch of apes, traveled back in time, and dumped them on some random planet for their own amusement. Maybe it doesn't matter because it's all fictional, Mike. Maybe if you want a better story, you should write your own. But until such times, you can just shut the hell up."
Mike crossed his arms and mumbled, "I was only asking a question."
"Well don't. Leave the thinking to people in the group who have significantly bigger brains than you," Erica turned to Steve and said, "Carry on."
"Right," Steve mumbled. "Where was I? Oh yeah, players will be split into two teams: Eddie, Dustin, Will and I will be marines. Mike, Lucas, Max and El will be Simia."
El raised her hand. "Are the Simia the monkeys?"
"Technically they're primates, but yes," Erica replied.
"Actually, monkeys have tails," Dax corrected her. "Apes don't."
"Can't we just call them monkeys?" asked El. "I don't think I'll be able to remember the names of everything."
Dax opened his mouth as though he was about to argue but Steve beat him to the punch. "Calling them monkeys is fine."
Steve opened the trunk of his car where he had two large cardboard boxes full of supplies for the game. He pulled four gorilla masks out of one box and one each to Mike, Max, and El. But when he offered one to Lucas, he crossed his arms and shook his head.
"I'm not wearing that," he declared.
"Why not?" asked Steve.
"Seriously?" said Lucas hotly. "I'm the only black guy here and I just happen to be given the monkey mask? This is some subconscious racist bullshit."
"Dude, I didn't decide the teams," Steve protested. "I pulled the names out of a hat. It's totally random!"
But Lucas wouldn't budge. "Whatever, I'm still not wearing it."
"Steve might be an idiot, but he isn't a racist," said Erica.
"Thanks, Erica," said Steve uncertainly. "I think…"
"Why don't you wear it, then?" Lucas challenged.
"I can't, I already have a special role assigned."
"What role?" he asked.
"It's called none of your damn business," Erica grabbed the mask from Steve's hands and thrust it into her brother's chest. "Stop being such a baby and wear the damn mask already."
"I'll wear it," Will stepped forward and took the mask from Erica. "I don't mind what team I'm on."
"Fine by me," said Erica, shooting an annoyed look at Lucas. "You two changing teams won't adversely affect the outcome of the game."
"Then it's settled," Will smiled before putting on the mask. "How do I look?"
"Like an idiot," Erica drawled.
"Moving on," Steve cut in, grabbing more supplies from the trunk. "Colonial marines get red armbands and Nerf guns. Simia—the monkeys—are armed with bows and arrows."
"How are we supposed to defend ourselves with sticks and string when you guys have guns?" Max protested.
"That's for you to work out," said Erica.
Lucas cocked his weapon, aimed it at Dustin's head and fired a single shot.
"Ow!" Dustin cried out in pain and shielded his face. "Shit, you got me in the eye!"
"Sorry," said Lucas quickly lowered his gun.
"No firing weapons without eye protection!" Steve yelled, retrieving several pairs of safety goggles from one of the boxes.
Soon, everyone was in costume: Steve, Eddie, Dustin, Lucas and Robin were dressed as colonial marines with their red armbands, nerf guns and camouflage makeup. Mike, Will, El, Max and Vickie who were playing the apes wore monkey masks and were armed with bows and arrows. Eddie pulled his trademark black bandana from the back pocket of his combats and tied it around his forehead.
"Check it out, Henderson," he chuckled. "I'm Vasquez."
"Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?" asked Dustin.
"No," Eddie replied. "Have you?"
The pair sniggered and slapped hands in mid-air. Steve had no clue what they were talking about but before he could ask, Erica was calling for their attention.
"Alright, everyone listen up," she said. "Before we begin, let's cover some basic rules. Number one: don't be a dick. If you keep getting into arguments, harass other players, or have fun at someone else's expense, you will be removed from the game. Number two: if we need to stop the game for any reason, just raise your hand and shout 'pause'. Everyone has to stop playing, no exceptions. Number three: don't be an idiot. Watch out for mountain bikers on the trail and there's a golf course nearby, so there's a lot of stray balls flying around. We don't want anyone getting themselves injured because they weren't paying attention to their surroundings."
"But most importantly, have fun!" said Steve desperately.
While Erica led Mike and the other apes further into the woods, Dax sheperded Steve and his crew back to Eddie's van.
"This is your spaceship, the USCSS Argo," said Dax, patting the side of the van.
"From Jason and the Argonauts," Dustin nodded approvingly.
"Exactly," Dax replied. "So, to start the mission, if you all don't mind climbing aboard…"
"You want everyone to get inside the van?" asked Steve skeptically.
"For the purposes of immersion," Dax explained, opening the rear doors. "It's easier to get into character when you interact with props and the environment."
"Okay," Steve replied uncertainly, climbing into the van. "You're the expert."
Once everyone was inside, Dax handed Eddie some paperwork and slammed the door shut. Eddie looked around at his friends and announced, "Okay, before we start this thing, I wanna put myself forward as team leader."
"I thought I was team leader," said Steve.
"Why would you be the team leader?" Lucas challenged.
"Because I helped organize everything!" Steve replied hotly.
"Which we all really appreciate, but how familiar are you with the Alien lore?" asked Dustin gently.
When Steve didn't answer, Lucas asked, "You have seen Aliens , right?"
"Not exactly," he admitted.
Lucas, Eddie and Dustin let out a collective groan.
"What's the big deal?" asked Steve. "So, I haven't seen the movie—"
"Movies, plural," Eddie corrected him. "There's two of them."
"Whatever. I'm just gonna be shooting little green men, aren't I? What else is there to know?"
"Have you seen any alien movies?" asked Dustin.
"I mean, I've seen E.T. "
Lucas pinched his nose and groaned. "We are so screwed."
"I think it goes without saying that Harrington is the Gorman of the group," Eddie quipped.
Dustin and Lucas laughed. Steve didn't know what that meant but he knew an insult when he heard one.
"It doesn't matter," said Robin, waving her hand dismissively. "We can just say that this is Steve's first mission with the marines. He doesn't have the same experience as we do with the xenomorphs—"
"Xenomorphs?" asked Steve. "What the hell are they?"
"They're eight-foot tall endoparasitoid aliens with acid for blood," she explained quickly. "The point is, Steve's still a valued member of our team! He's a brother-in-arms."
"Hoorah!" cried Dustin.
"If he gets himself into a sticky situation, I ain't risking my life to save his," Lucas warned.
"You heard Buckley," said Eddie fiercely. "Harrington is one of us. If you don't have his back, you can stay here on the ship acting as a cleaning maid while we're out on mission."
Lucas groaned. "Fine. I'll keep an eye out for him."
"I don't need a babysitter!" Steve protested.
"Oh, how the tables have turned," Dustin chuckled. "The Jedi Master becomes the Padawan."
"Am I supposed to understand that reference?" asked Steve irritably.
"Jesus, Harrington," said Eddie. "Do you understand any pop culture references?"
Steve opened his mouth to argue but Robin grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it tightly. "Okay, guys! I think we should make a start on this game, the others will wonder where we got to." She patted Steve on the shoulder, "Try and view this as a bit of an internship. You'll learn on the job."
Eddie shook his head at Steve one last time before clearing his throat and reading the script aloud, "Alright, listen up! The head honchos have sent us on a treasure hunt. The native population are in possession of technology that far outstrips anything that we have, and top brass want us to obtain it through any means necessary."
"Do we know if the planet's inhabitants are friendly?" asked Dustin.
"Unconfirmed," Eddie replied.
"And if they aren't friendly?"
"That's what these are for," said Lucas, cocking his nerf gun.
"Let's not get too trigger-happy yet, men," Eddie warned.
"And women," Robin corrected him.
"And women," Eddie nodded. "Let's see if we can complete our mission without any bloodshed. I got a wife and kids I wanna get home to."
"This technology that we're after," said Dustin. "Do we know what it looks like?"
Eddie shuffled through the papers. "There isn't much to go on in the mission brief, just a rough sketch of what to look out for."
Eddie held up the sketch for everyone to see and Robin frowned. "Is that an egg?"
"Looks like a grenade," said Lucas.
"Maybe it's a bomb," Dustin suggested.
"It looks like a football," said Steve.
"I don't think The United Americas Allied Command would send us halfway across the galaxy for a football," said Eddie.
"It was just an observation," Steve shot back.
"Is that a map?" asked Dustin.
Eddie unfolded a large piece of paper that turned out to be a map of the local area but additional locations had been drawn in: apparently there was a campsite nearby with a crude illustration of a monkey above it, and an area further into the woods had been marked with a skull and crossbones.
"What do you think that means?" asked Steve, pointing to the skull.
"It means welcome one and all!" said Eddie sarcastically.
Steve glared at him. "Very funny."
"I thought so," Eddie smirked.
"Enough screwing around," said Dustin briskly, shouldering his plastic rifle. "Let's land this thing and make our way over to the ape village. If we're lucky, the natives won't attack us on sight."
The group exited the van/spaceship and followed the map south towards the ape village. The further into the woods they went, the worse the mosquitos got. Steve was batting them away from his face and hair but it made little difference.
"I think they're drawn to your hairspray," Robin pointed out unhelpfully.
"No shit," he grumbled.
Dustin walked past them wearing a mosquito cap completely unbothered by the swarms of insects attacking his friends.
"Is that part of your costume?" asked Steve.
"Duh," Dustin replied. "I'm the chief medical officer. There's no way I'd come into the wilderness without protection."
"I don't suppose you brought any spares?" asked Robin hopefully, scratching bite marks on her arms.
"Nope, sorry."
"You could always take up smoking," Eddie suggested, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips. "It keeps most of the bugs at bay."
"I'm fine," Steve lied, slapping his neck and crushing a particularly large insect under his palm.
"I'll take one," said Robin desperately.
Eddie lit up another cigarette and handed it to Robin. She said thank you and continued walking, waving it in front of her like an incense stick. Steve, meanwhile, was determined to suffer in silence. He wouldn't be taking handouts from Eddie, even if it would make his journey through the woods more bearable. They wandered through the woods for about twenty minutes when they finally caught sight of Mike, Will, El, Max and Vickie through the thicket of trees. They were all dressed in their monkey masks and sitting around a campfire, and Steve couldn't help but notice an absence of mosquitoes in the general vicinity.
"So, what are we thinking, lady and gentlemen?" asked Eddie. "What's our best approach?"
Dustin pulled out his binoculars and observed the group for a few moments. "Their weapons are primitive compared to ours, it'd be easy enough for us to overpower them."
"That might not be necessary," Robin argued. "I think we should try and negotiate with them first. There's things that we can offer to trade with them: food, technology—"
"Weapons?" said Lucas skeptically.
"I wouldn't rule it out," she replied. "It'd be worth trading a couple of our guns for the tech we're after."
"Where is the tech?" Lucas wondered aloud. "I don't see anything around the campsite that looks anything like the sketch."
"They must have it hidden somewhere," Eddie reasoned.
"We could search the surrounding area," Lucas suggested.
Eddie shook his head. "I dunno, guys. There's a lot of woods out there."
"If the technology is that valuable, they won't keep it too far from the village."
"It's worth a shot," said Dustin. "That way we can avoid interacting with them entirely."
"If we split into two teams, we'll cover more ground," Robin chipped in.
"Or we could just go ask them," Steve suggested.
His friends stared at him.
"You want to just walk over there and ask them nicely to part with their sacred technology?" asked Dustin flatly.
"It might work," Steve argued.
"It's not the worst idea in the world," Lucas offered. "Steve could distract them while the rest of us search the surrounding area."
"Okay, flanking positions," Eddie instructed. "Henderson, you take the left. Buckley and Sinclar will take the right. I'll stay here and keep an eye on Harrington. We'll regroup at the ship no later than 1400 hours."
"How many times do I need to say it? I don't need a babysitter!" Steve hissed.
"What happens if the natives turn hostile?" Eddie argued. "Even if their weapons are primitive, that's five against one. I don't like those odds."
"Fine," Steve snapped. "Just don't get in my way."
Steve waited for Dustin, Lucas and Robin to disappear amongst the trees before approaching the group of apes. Eddie kept himself hidden in a nearby bush.
"Alright then," Steve ran his hands through his hair. "Time to put on the old Harrington charm."
Steve slung his nerf gun over his shoulder and held his hands up. If he played his cards right, he'd win this game single-handedly and he'd be the hero of the day. When the apes caught sight of him, they began shouting and leapt to their feet. Mike and Max drew their bows and pointed arrows at Steve.
"Halt!" cried Mike. "Don't come any closer."
"Don't shoot!" said Steve, raising her hands into the air. "I come in peace."
"Who are you?" asked Will. "What are you?"
Steve felt a little silly having to explain who he was to his friends, but he kept reminding himself it was all part of the game.
"My name's Steve. I'm an earthling—that's someone from Planet Earth. I don't suppose you guys have heard of it?"
"You come from the stars?" asked El.
"Yeah, you could say that."
"What do you want?" Max demanded, refusing to lower her bow.
"I'm actually looking for something," Steve pulled out the sketch of the alien tech they were looking for and showed it to the apes. "I don't suppose you've got anything like this in your camp? I'd be willing to trade for it."
Mike marched up to Steve and snatched the sketch from his hand. It was difficult for Steve to tell what Mike was thinking because his face was completely covered by the rubber mask.
"We've got a bunch of stuff we could give you in exchange for the… thing," Steve smiled encouragingly at them. "We've got food, medicine, one of the guys in my team has a mosquito net, but I guess that wouldn't help you guys out too much."
Mike pocketed the sketch and turned away from Steve. "Tie him up."
Steve's smile fell. "What d'you mean 'tie him up'?"
Before Steve could react, Will, El, Max and Vickie had surrounded him. He tried making a run for it but he barely made it two steps before they grabbed hold of him and dragged him to the nearest tree.
"Come on, guys," he yelled. "This isn't funny!"
Once Steve was secured to the tree, the interrogation began. Mike now had possession of Steve's nerf gun and had it pointed at Steve's chest.
"How do you know about The Lifegiver?" he asked.
"The what?" asked Steve, confused. Mike held up the sketch of the egg. "Is that what you call it? The Lifegiver?"
Mike pocketed the sketch again. "How do you know about it? Have you been spying on us?"
"No! I mean, not really."
"I think we should just kill him," Vickie snarled, pressing the tip of a makeship spear into Steve's neck.
"Kill me?" Steve let out a nervous laugh. "Come on, guys. Let's not get carried away."
"Let's offer him to The Lifegiver," Will suggested. "That will decide his fate."
There was a murmur of agreement. Mike lowered his gun and nodded. "Very well. At sundown, we take him to The Lifegiver. Until then, patrol the area, there will be more of his kind out there."
"Sundown? That's hours away!" Steve cried as the others walked away from him. "You can't leave me tied up here all day!"
Steve struggled against his bindings but it was no use. He wasn't going anywhere. He kept looking around desperately for Eddie but he was nowhere to be found. Knowing him, he was watching Steve from his hiding place, laughing his head off. El had been left behind to keep an eye on him while one of the referees, Jake, sat on a log in front of the fire eating a sandwich.
"Hey, man," said Steve. "They're not really going to leave me tied to this tree all day, are they?"
Jake shrugged. "If that's how the game plays out, then yeah."
Steve cursed under his breath. He turned to El, who was in a squatted position, drawing pictures in the dirt with the tip of an arrow.
"Hey, El," he called out. "I really need to pee."
"Oh." El got to her feet and put the arrow back in the quiver. "Okay, hold on a sec."
She took a couple of steps towards Steve but stopped when Jake said, "Hold on a second. Pause pause pause…" He hurried over to El and asked, "Let's think about this: does Steve really need to pee, or is it a ruse so he can try and escape?"
"I really need to pee," Steve insisted. "Quit messing around and untie me."
Jake ignored Steve and spoke to El. "Remember that you're playing a role. This invader has stormed your village and has threatened to steal what is most precious to you and your people."
"I wasn't going to steal anything!" Steve protested. "I said I'd trade for it."
"You don't know this guy," Jake continued. "For all you know, he's a murderer that's been sent here to kill you and your people."
"I am not a murderer!" said Steve angrily. "I haven't done anything. I came over here to introduce myself and you guys tied me to this tree!"
"Can you really trust him?" asked Jake. "Do you think your character would trust him?"
El thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. "No, I don't think she would."
Jake smiled and patted her on the shoulder. "A wise choice! Always try and put yourself in your character's shoes, consider how they would think, feel and act in the moment. Okay, unpause!"
Jake sauntered back to the log to finish his sandwiches. El shot Steve a dirty look and cried, "No toilet break for you!"
And with that, El turned her back on Steve and ignored his pleas. Steve tried wriggling out of his bindings again but they wouldn't budge. He was beginning to regret playing this stupid game.
Just when Steve was about to give up all hope, there was a commotion somewhere behind him. Steve tried to turn his head to get a look at what was going on, but to no avail. All he could hear was a lot of shouting and footsteps pounding against the ground. El hesitated. She looked at Steve for a moment before running towards the noises. Jake chased after her, leaving Steve alone.
"Hey, Big Boy," came a familiar voice.
Steve suppressed a scream of surprise. "Munson?"
Eddie's handsome smiling face appeared from the other side of the tree. "You miss me?"
"Where the hell have you been?" Steve hissed. "They've had me tied to this tree for hours!"
"Dude, it's been like twenty minutes since they captured you," Eddie chuckled. He pulled out a pocket knife and began sawing at the rope, "Stop squirming so I can cut you loose."
Eddie made quick work removing the ropes. Steve massaged his wrists and mumbled, "Thanks."
"Anytime," he winked, pocketing his knife. "We better get out of here before they realize my little diversion was a diversion."
Steve and Eddie ran through the trees. "Where are we going?"
"Away from their camp," Eddie panted. "Haven't had time to work out the rest."
"They're getting away!" yelled Will's voice in the distance.
"Stop them!" cried Mike.
Steve only managed to run a few more steps when suddenly and without warning, he was yanked off of his feet by an unseen force. He and Eddie screamed as they were left dangling in midair as though an invisible hook had hoisted them by the ankle.
"What the hell?" Eddie cried, swinging and kicking his limbs helplessly.
El appeared a moment later with blood trickling down the nose hole of her monkey mask. "I caught them! They're over here."
"Pause!" Jake cried, crashing through the trees towards them. "Pause the game! Time out!" Jake came to a stop next to El and bent over double, panting and gasping for breath. "You can't use your powers in the game, El."
"Why not?" she asked.
"Because you're a Simia," he argued. "They don't have telekinetic abilities."
"They don't?"
"No."
"Oh," El swiped her arm through the air and Eddie and Steve floated gently to the ground in a heap. "Sorry."
"It's okay," Jake assured her, pushing his thick-rimmed glasses up his nose. Just then, Mike, Will and Vickie appeared, "Okay, unpause game!"
Eddie and Steve tried to clamber back onto their feet but Mike and the others dogpiled on top of them.
"Tie them back up!" Mike ordered.
It only took a few minutes for both Eddie and Steve to be dragged back to the campsite and tied to the same tree. While the others discussed what to do with them, Eddie muttered, "This wasn't how I'd envisioned my daring rescue attempt."
"Is LARPing always like this?" asked Steve.
"No. But I'll never say no to a little rope play."
Steve wondered if rope play was something campers did, but he thought better than to ask. He didn't want to admit to his lack of experience at this sort of thing. A few minutes later Mike and the others came over to speak to Steve and Eddie.
"It has been decided that you will both be offered to The Lifegiver—" Mike began.
"At sundown," Steve nodded. "Yeah, I remember you mentioning that the last time."
"To be offered to The Lifegiver is a great honor," said Mike angrily. "You should be thanking us."
"They'll be thanking us soon enough," said Will darkly.
Eddie waited for Mike and the others to leave before whispering, "What's The Lifegiver?"
"It's the thing we're supposed to catch to win this stupid game," said Steve.
"Dude, you gotta try and stay in character," Eddie reminded him.
Steve sighed. "Fine. It's the thing we were sent here to collect in order to complete this stupid mission."
"Did they say anything else about it?"
"No. But the way they talk about it makes it sound like it's alive."
"So, the tech we're after is organic in nature," said Eddie thoughtfully. "Maybe it's some kind of bioweapon?"
"Yeah, maybe," Steve replied.
There was a long silence before Eddie spoke up again. "You wanna play twenty questions?"
Steve frowned. "What?"
"Do you want to play twenty questions?" he asked again. "It's a guessing game where one player thinks of a person, place, or thing—"
"I know what twenty questions is," Steve bristled. "I thought we had to stay in character the whole time."
"Twenty questions is a game that could exist in the Alien universe," Eddie argued. "Come on, Harrington. Play with me!"
Steve sighed and shook his head. "It's not like we've got anything better to do, I suppose."
"Great," said Eddie brightly. "I'll go first."
Steve and Eddie spent the next couple of hours playing games to help pass the time. It wasn't much fun playing I Spy when the only things that were in their line of vision were leaves, branches and more leaves. The sun vanished behind steel gray clouds and there was a roll of thunder. The only thing that could make being tied to this tree any worse was if it started raining. When Mike and the others finally returned to take them to The Lifegiver, Steve was about ready to throw in the towel. They kept Steve and Eddie's hands tied as they escorted them deeper into the woods. They took their time climbing down a steep slope onto a dried riverbed towards a wooden bridge that was visible through the trees.
"What the hell is that?" asked Eddie.
Underneath the bridge, a small shrine had been built. At the center of the shrine was a large, papier-mâché egg with a cross cut across the top of it, surrounded by flowers and tealight candles. As they drew closer, Eddie's eyes widened with fear and he tried to make a run for it, but Mike and Will tackled him to the ground.
"Don't go near it, Harrington!" Eddie yelled. "Stay the hell away from that thing!"
Steve cocked an eyebrow at the paper egg. "What's is supposed to be?"
"It is The Lifegiver," said El with an air of gravitas.
"Yeah, I gathered as much, but what does it do?"
"It gives life," said Max mysteriously. "And it taketh away."
Vickie and El grabbed Steve by the elbows, marched him towards the shrine and forced him to kneel in front of it.
"No matter what happens, keep your mouth shut!" Eddie shouted.
"Silence!" Mike cried, jabbing Eddie in the ribs with his nerf gun.
"Ouch," Eddie whimpered. "That hurt."
"Shit. Sorry," Mike whispered.
El and the other apes began to chant. It probably would have been more unnerving if Steve had a clue what the hell was going on. He looked around confused as Eddie, who was still pinned to the ground, begged Steve to run for his life.
"It's opening!" Vickie gasped, pointing at the egg.
Steve turned to look at it. That's when Jake appeared from behind a tree. He hurried over, knelt in front of the egg and carefully unfolded it like the petals of a flower. He plunged his hand inside and pulled out a rubber glove that had been inflated and tied at the end. The chanting grew louder, drowning out Eddie's cries of despair as Jake made the glove crawl across the ground like a spider.
"What are you doing?" asked Steve.
"It's gonna get you, Harrington!" Eddie cried.
"What is?" he asked.
That's when Jake made the glove puppet leap through the air and smacked Steve right in the mouth with it. Steve spluttered and turned his head away shouting, "What the fuck?"
"The Lifegiver has chosen you as a sacrifice!" Mike yelled and the others cheered.
"Okay guys, time out," Steve cried, clambering to his feet with some difficulty. "I'm not playing anymore."
The cheering quickly died down and Jake stopped trying to stuff the rubber glove into Steve's mouth.
"I have no idea what is going on here," said Steve irritably. "And I'm not playing another second of this stupid game until someone explains what is happening."
"It's just a facehugger," said Will, pointing to the rubber glove.
Steve stared at him. "Am I supposed to know what that is?"
Jake huffed as he got back to his feet and wiped dirt from his knees. "So basically, in the Alien universe, there are these egg-like capsules that contain facehuggers. That's what these are," he explained, brandishing the glove. "If someone gets too close to an egg, a facehugger will jump out and latch onto the person's face."
"Okay," said Steve slowly. "Then what happens?"
"Well, then the facehugger lays another, smaller egg inside the host. It takes a few hours for the alien to fully gestate before it… you know…"
Jake made a violent gesture as though something were exploding out of his chest.
Steve made a face. "That's disgusting."
"That's Alien for you," Mike shrugged.
"So you guys were going to put one of those things in me and Eddie?"
"Yup," Max confirmed unabashedly. "You're going to be our sacrifice to the Sky God."
"The what now?" asked Steve.
"The Predator, dude," Mike groaned.
"Wait," Steve held up his hand. "I'm confused. Isn't Predator that movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger?"
"By golly, he knows what a Predator is," Eddie chuckled. "I'm impressed, Harrington."
"What's a Predator got to do with all of this?"
"If you play the game properly, all of that will be revealed," said Jake cryptically. "It helps if you're willing to immerse yourself in the world and stay in character."
"There's no point because I haven't got a clue what's going on!" said Steve angrily.
Just then, a battlecry rang out. Steve turned just in time to see Dustin, Lucas and Robin burst through the trees and charge towards them with their guns drawn. All hell broke loose as foam darts and arrows flew in all directions. Steve yelled and shielded his head with his arms as both teams shot him with a volley of projectiles. Eddie army-crawled towards a discarded nerf gun and shot El in the back. El cried out before falling to the ground like a marionette whose strings had been cut. Max bellowed in anger and shot Eddie in the chest with a foam arrow. Eddie spluttered and rolled over, pretending he was dead. Vickie was hiding behind a tree, cowering in fear as the rest of the group engaged in hand to hand combat, wrestling each other to the ground and screaming at each other. Dax, Erica and the other NPCs watched from the treeline with mild amusement at the chaos unfolding before their eyes.
"Stop!" Jake cried, waving his arms wildly above his head. "Stop fighting! We're not in play. I repeat: we are not in play!"
Dustin, who had Mike in a headlock, paused. "We're not?"
"No! The game was paused before you guys came charging in!"
"Shit," Dustin let go of Mike and helped him back to his feet.
"Does that mean everyone is still alive?" asked Max.
"For the time being," Jake confirmed. "It's fine. We can just reset the scene. You guys head back to the treeline and—"
A crack of thunder drowned out the rest of Jake's instructions and a moment later, torrential rain began to pour.
"Goddamnit," Dustin groaned.
"Protect the props!" Jake cried, gathering up the papier-mâché egg and other items as quickly as he could. "We can't let them get wet, they're too fragile!"
"What're we going to do now?" asked Lucas.
"We'll suspend play for the time being," said Erica, walking towards them. "We'll have dinner and get an early night. Hopefully by morning, the rain will stop and we can continue the game."
Reluctantly, everyone made their way back to the campsite. As darkness fell, everyone retreated to their tents for the night. Eddie lay on his back reading Stephen King's The Dark Tower by flashlight. Steve, meanwhile, sat hunched in the corner, scratching the mosquito bites all over his body and wishing he was at home in his own bed.
"Scratching only makes it worse," said Eddie without looking up.
"I can't help it," Steve replied through gritted teeth, scratching his neck with even more vigor.
Eddie rolled his eyes and closed his book. Pulling his backpack towards him, he rummaged through its contents before retrieving a packet of tylenol and a tall flask. "Here, this should take the edge off the itching."
Steve only hesitated a moment before accepting the medicine and flask of water. "Thanks."
Eddie lay back down and picked up his book. "I get the feeling that you're not really enjoying yourself."
"Oh, I'm having a great time," Steve replied sarcastically. "Who doesn't enjoy being eaten alive, tied to trees and getting shot?"
"Don't forget the rain," Eddie reminded him.
"The icing on the cake," Steve mumbled, pulling his shirt off over his head.
Eddie quickly lowered his gaze. "If it's any consolation, Henderson is loving every minute of it."
Steve paused wriggling out of his jeans. "You think?"
"Definitely. You've set a high bar, Harrington. It's gonna take a lot to top your bachelor party, however unconventional it's been."
That lifted Steve's spirits somewhat. He might be hating everything about this weekend, but it wasn't about him. The important thing was Dustin was having fun, a fact which even Eddie couldn't deny. Steve pulled the sleeping bag out of its stuff sack and laid it between him and Eddie.
"I don't suppose you brought your own sleeping bag?" asked Steve.
"Nope."
"Of course not," he sighed. "How are we going to do this?"
"I don't mind getting cozy if you don't," Eddie joked.
Steve, however, did mind. The thought of having his and Eddie's nearly naked bodies pressed together was making him feel a little panicky. But neither did he want to lie on the cold, hard ground all night, and with the storm raging outside, the temperature had dropped considerably. He concluded that cozying up to Eddie was the lesser of two evils, so with some effort, the two men managed to shimmy inside the sleeping bag. Their bodies pressed together in the tight space and Steve couldn't help the sharp intake of breath at how cold Eddie was.
"Jesus, you're freezing," he gasped.
"If you think that's bad, you should feel my feet."
Steve yelped as Eddie pressed the flats of his icy feet against his calves. Eddie laughed as Steve tried and failed to wriggle away from him.
"You're an asshole," Steve grumbled.
"Sorry but I couldn't resist," Eddie grinned.
Thankfully, it didn't take much time for Eddie to warm up. Steve closed his eyes and hoped that sleep would take him quickly. Unfortunately, he was finding it difficult to relax, let alone fall asleep. How could he when he could literally feel Eddie's chest rise and fall with each breath? Steve tried to focus on anything else—the howling wind, the tree branches creaking as they swayed—but he couldn't ignore Eddie's firm body pressed against his own, or the warmth of Eddie's breath on his neck.
"You doing okay there, Harrington?" asked Eddie suddenly.
"I'm fine," Steve replied quickly. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"The tension is practically radiating off of you."
"I'm not tense," he lied. "This is how I always sleep."
"If you're not comfortable sharing a sleeping bag, I don't mind going without," Eddie offered.
"I don't mind," Steve insisted. "Besides, you'll freeze your ass off if you sleep without one."
"Okay. Well, thanks for thinking of my ass," Eddie joked.
If Steve didn't already have his eyes closed, he would have rolled them. Silence fell between them as they both tried to get some sleep. Gradually, Steve grew accustomed to Eddie's legs brushing against his own and Eddie's slow, steady breaths tickling his neck. That familiar sensation of weightlessness washed over Steve and just as he was about to finally drift off, he felt Eddie's hand brush against his hip. Steve couldn't stop himself shivering at Eddie's touch.
"Are you cold?" asked Eddie, his voice low and husky.
"No," Steve whispered.
Eddie tentatively rested his hand on Steve's hip. When Steve didn't shake him off, Eddie slowly ran his fingertips across Steve's stomach. The air between them suddenly became electrified and Steve could hardly breathe. Eddie shifted slightly and pleasure pooled in the pit of Steve's stomach as he felt Eddie's erection press against his ass. He held his breath as Eddie's hand slipped beneath the hem of his boxers and grabbed his dick, which already felt impossibly hard. Eddie pressed a soft kiss to the back of Steve's neck and began to stroke Steve's cock back and forth in a slow, steady motion. Steve couldn't believe that this was really happening but god, it felt so right. Steve began rocking his hips back and forth to meet Eddie's strokes, he wasn't going to last much longer—
A crack of thunder jerked Steve awake from his dream. He looked around wildly, briefly confused as to why he wasn't in his own bed. It was pitch black but Eddie was beside him snoring loudly, completely oblivious to the storm currently taking place outside and inside Steve's mind.
Steve lay there in the darkness, his heart pounding in his chest, absolutely mortified at the intense sex dream he'd just experienced. His body and brain were at odds with each other: the boner he was currently sporting was wondering why the party had stopped while the rational part of his brain was insisting that he wasn't attracted to Eddie Munson. He wasn't attracted to any man. Steve Harrington liked women. He'd always liked women. So what had prompted him to have such a dream in the first place?
Before Steve could spiral any further, the sound of footsteps outside the tent caught his attention. Steve lay there listening intently. The storm was raging outside, who would be taking a nighttime stroll in the wind and rain? The footsteps moved closer and he sat bolt upright. The sudden movement stirred Eddie from his sleep and he snorted loudly.
"What's going on?" he slurred.
"Someone's outside our tent," Steve whispered.
"Who?"
"I don't know! I wasn't in a hurry to ask."
"It's probably one of the guys taking a leak."
"Then why are they circling our tent?"
Eddie switched on the flashlight and sat up next to Steve. "You don't think it's a bear, do you?"
Steve felt a stab of panic. "There are bears in these woods?"
"I don't know. Maybe?" Eddie replied, sounding uneasy.
The footsteps grew louder and came to a stop right outside the tent. Eddie grabbed Steve's arm and squeezed it tightly. "Okay, if it is a bear, I'm pretty sure we're supposed to play dead."
"That only applies to certain kinds of bears," Steve argued. "Other ones you're supposed to fight back."
"Which ones are you supposed to fight back?"
"I don't know," he admitted.
Steve was paralyzed with fear as he watched the zipper of their tent slowly be pulled open.
"Can bears open tents?" he stammered.
"I don't know how, they don't have thumbs," Eddie squeaked.
Steve wanted to cry out as a slimy gray hand with unnaturally long fingers pushed aside the flaps of the tent, but his voice was caught in his throat. He had long feared that something like this would happen, that something from The Upside Down would return to kill him and his friends. He never thought that he'd die in the middle of the woods cuddled up to Eddie Munson, but stranger things had happened. Eddie, however, had no problem vocalizing his fear as he screamed and tried desperately to scramble backwards away from the monster's hand.
That's when the hand lunged forward and grabbed Eddie's face. Eddie shrieked and fell backwards, swinging his arms back wildly yelling, "Get it off! Get it off!"
Beams of the flashlight cut erratically across the floor and ceiling of the darkened tent, so Steve only caught glimpses of whatever had a hold of Eddie. It was much too small to be a demogorgon, smaller than even a demodog. The creature was about the size of a racoon and appeared to have a long, spiked tail. Steve grabbed the creature by the tail and threw it across the tent. It slapped off the side of the tent and fell limply to the ground, but Steve knew better than to assume it was dead. He grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on, which turned out to be one of the nerf guns, and proceeded to beat the thing into the ground with the butt of the rifle over and over again.
"What are you doing?" came an angry cry outside the tent. Erica's exasperated face appeared and she grabbed the creature by the tail.
"Don't touch it!" Steve cried.
"Do you have any idea how much this cost?" she snapped, brandishing the creature in their faces. "Most of the budget went towards this prop and you've just beaten it to a pulp, Harrington!"
Eddie pointed the flashlight at the creature and groaned. "Jesus Christ, Erica. I thought that thing was real!"
"It's not?" asked Steve.
Eddie chuckled and shook his head. "It's a facehugger! A pretty realistic one at that."
"A pretty expensive one, too," Erica grumbled.
Steve's feelings of relief were immediately overcome with stupidity.
"What the hell were you thinking?" he demanded. "Attacking us in the middle of the night with that… that thing! "
"Relax, Steve," Erica replied. "It's just a nighttime raid."
"This is all part of the game?" he asked in disbelief.
"Obviously," she drawled.
Steve roughly pulled the zip back up on his tent. It wasn't nearly as dramatic as slamming a door in Erica's face, but he had to make do.
"Don't be like that, Steve!" Erica cried. "Everyone else thought it was funny."
"Go away," he snapped, crawling back into the sleeping bag next to Eddie.
A long silence followed before Eddie finally spoke.
"Thanks," he said. "For saving my life."
"I didn't save your life," Steve replied impatiently. "It wasn't real."
"But you thought it was real."
"So did you," Steve shot back.
"I sure did. All I'm saying is that actions speak louder than words," Steve could practically see the smile spreading across Eddie's face as he said, "You're my hero, Harrington."
"Shut up and go to sleep."
The storm was over by next morning but the ground was sodden from all of the rain. Steve's sneakers squelched as he and Eddie traipsed across the campsite towards Erica and the others who were waiting for them.
"Alright, now that we're all here, I'd first like to apologize for last night's miscommunication about the night raid," Erica began. "Everyone should have been warned about it in advance, and unfortunately, some of you weren't."
"You mean it was just Eddie and I who weren't prewarned," said Steve.
"Apparently so," she confirmed. "It was an oversight on my part and it won't happen again. Now, let's get everyone up to speed with last night's events: at approximately 2am, the marine's camp was attacked by a group of facehuggers; both Lucas and Robin were impregnated by the creature. Steve and Eddie managed to escape after a vicious assault that left a very expensive prop damaged beyond repair."
"If you had remembered to tell us your plans beforehand, we wouldn't have tried to kill it in the first place," Steve argued.
"Moving on," said Erica. "At 6am, the Simia—"
"That's the monkeys," El chipped in.
Erica sighed. "Sure. At approximately 6am, the "monkeys" discovered that the alien egg—the so-called Lifegiver—had been stolen from their village. As it stands, the egg remains unaccounted for, Lucas is scheduled to die in the next five minutes, and the final battle between the marines and monkeys will take place shortly thereafter. Does anyone have any questions?"
Steve had a million questions but it was Robin who raised her hand first. "When am I going to die?"
"Soon—unless you get into a hypersleep chamber in the next hour," said Erica.
"I've got a question," said Steve. "How did Henderson avoid being attacked by a facehugger? He was sharing a tent with Lucas."
"I was out taking a leak when the night raid happened," he shrugged. "I just got lucky."
"Everyone get in position," Erica instructed. "Gameplay resumes in five minutes!"
While everyone else rushed to grab their weapons and get in position, Eddie grabbed Steve's arm and whispered, "I don't get it. If it was the monkeys who attacked us last night, why would they say that the egg was stolen?"
"Yeah, that is weird. You think someone's playing both sides?" Steve wondered.
Eddie's eyes scanned across the group. "The thought has crossed my mind, yeah."
"Who could it be?"
"Well, it's definitely not us, we stayed inside the tent the entire night," Eddie reasoned. "I doubt it was Lucas or Robin, they wouldn't impregnate themselves with that thing on purpose."
Steve's gaze fell on Dustin who was kneeling on the ground next to Lucas. "You don't think it's Henderson?"
"We can't rule him out."
Steve's mind was spinning. "Why would he attack his own team?"
"I have an idea why," said Eddie gravely. "And there's only one way to prove it."
"How?"
"Just leave that to me," said Eddie.
Everyone got into position. Erica disappeared behind the trees with the other apes while Steve, Eddie, Robin and Dustin surrounded Lucas, who was lying on the ground. Jake stood watching nearby and cleared his throat to get their attention.
"Okay guys," he said. "Resume play now!"
Lucas immediately began screaming and rolling about the ground in agony.
"Argh, I'm dying!" Lucas cried. "I'm dying!"
"What can we do?" asked Robin desperately.
"Hold him down," Dustin instructed. "Steve, Eddie, grab his legs. Robin, you get his arms. I need him to be still so that I can take a look at him."
Everyone did as they were told and pinned Lucas to the ground. Dustin pulled a bottle from his coat pocket and squirted ketchup all over Lucas's chest. "Oh my god, the alien is eating its way out of Sinclair!"
Dustin splashed them all with ketchup and Robin screamed.
"Dude, not the hair!" Steve warned.
Dustin pulled a pair of scissors and a toy alien from his other pocket. He quickly cut a hole in Lucas's t-shirt (who was still gurgling and twitching in pain) and sat the toy on his chest.
"Oh my god," Eddie cried. "It was growing in him the whole time and he didn't even know it!"
"It used him for an incubator," said Dustin.
Lucas let out one scream of pain before collapsing back onto the ground dead. Jake hurried over, grabbed the toy alien and ran off into the trees with it.
"It's getting away!" Dustin yelled, rising to his feet. "We need to capture it." Eddie drew his nerf gun and fired at the alien, but Dustin grabbed the barrel. "Don't kill it!"
Steve pointed his weapon at Dustin. "Hands off the gun, Henderson."
Dustin let go of Eddie's rifle and raised his hands. Robin looked between Dustin and Steve with confusion.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Pretty convenient that you were out having a nighttime stroll when we were all being attacked by the facehugger," said Eddie, pointing his own gun at Dustin.
"Convenient for who?" Dustin spat. "If I had been there, I could have saved my friends!"
"Is that what you were doing?" Eddie challenged, rising to his feet. "When you stole the egg from the Simia's camp and set that creature loose on us?"
Dustin shook his head. "You're crazy."
"Am I?" said Eddie.
Without warning, Eddie fired one shot into Dustin's chest. Robin gasped as Dustin stumbled backwards, but he didn't fall to the ground dead. Instead, he unzipped his coat to reveal a circuit board sewn to his t-shirt.
"He's an android?" Lucas gasped. "Goddamnit, it's always an android causing trouble in this franchise!"
"Dude, you're supposed to be dead," Dustin reminded him.
"Oh yeah," Lucas closed his eyes and played dead again.
Dustin turned his attention to Eddie. "What gave me away?"
"You're the chief medical officer," Eddie explained. "You're the only one among us with the expertise to handle a biological weapon like the alien. Plus, facehuggers can only impregnate other living organisms. The only way anyone could handle the egg would have been if they weren't technically alive."
"Very good," Dustin smiled. "I'm surprised a grunt like you could work it out."
"Turns out I'm not just a pretty face," said Eddie. "So what was your plan: impregnate us all with the alien, stick us in cryosleep and fly us back home with those things inside of us?"
"Exactly," Dustin nodded. "Ideally, I'd have as many samples as possible, but one is more than enough."
Robin clutched her chest and shook her head. "You're not taking this thing back to Earth. It'll kill us all!"
"Maybe it'll kill all of you," Dustin smirked. "But I'll be perfectly safe."
"Why?" asked Steve. "Why would you do this to us?"
"Special Order 937, right?" asked Eddie.
Dustin nodded. "Priority one: ensure the return of the organism for analysis. All other considerations secondary. Crew expendable. Those are MOTHER's order directives."
"Who's MOTHER?" asked Steve.
"It's our ship's AI mainframe," Eddie explained. "It auto-pilots the ship while the crew is in hypersleep and monitors our activities. We might work for the government, but they get all of their tech from a company called Weyland-Yutani. The Company will have programmed specific directives into MOTHER's mainframe."
"The instructions were clear," said Dustin. "Retrieve the weapon by any means necessary. I was simply following orders."
"Screw your orders!" Eddie barked. "Sinclair is dead, Buckley is dying, and we're about to get our asses kicked by a bunch of space monkeys!"
Suddenly, Mike and the other apes came charging out of the treeline and rushed towards Steve and his team. Leading the charge was Erica clad head to toe in armor and wearing a hockey mask.
"Who's she supposed to be?" asked Steve.
"It's The Predator," said Eddie, firing shots at the charging group. "They call him The Sky God, remember?"
"Nope," Steve admitted, firing a couple of shots at the apes.
While Steve, Eddie and Robin dashed for cover behind some nearby trees, Dax and Jake grabbed Lucas's arms and dragged him away from the battleground. Dustin, meanwhile, ran in the direction of the parking lot.
"He's getting away!" said Robin.
Just as they began chasing after Dustin, they stuttered to a halt as Tanya, Kelly, April and Lucas appeared dressed in alien costumes complete with papier-mâché elongated heads.
"Crap, it's the xenomorphs!" she cried.
"Those are xenomorphs?" asked Steve.
"We're surrounded," Eddie shouted, firing shots at the approaching aliens.
"What're we going to do?" asked Robin. Suddenly, she clutched her chest and fell to the ground, "No, not yet!"
"Buckley!" cried Eddie, falling to Robin's side. "Get up, soldier. That's an order!"
"It's too late for me," Robin grabbed the barrel of Eddie's rifle and pointed it at her forehead. "You're gonna have to kill me, Munson."
"No! There's still a chance I can save you!"
"It's too late for me!" she argued. "Just put me outta my misery. I don't want to die like Sinclair did. But also, don't actually shoot me in the head, that'd hurt."
Eddie sniffed loudly. "I'm gonna miss you, Buckley."
Robin closed her eyes. "Just do it already."
Eddie shouted 'bang' and Robin fell limp in Eddie's arms. Steve cursed loudly as a foam arrow narrowly missed his head. "Careful where you're aiming those things!"
"We're trying to kill you," Mike shouted. "Where should we be aiming them?"
"Not at my face!"
As Lucas lumbered towards them, his vision obscured by the large, fake head, he didn't see the large tree root protruding from the ground. When his left foot got caught in the root, he lost his balance and fell forward. He hit the ground with a sickening snap followed by a genuine scream of pain.
"Oww! My ankle…" he whimpered.
Erica tore off her hockey mask and raised her hand. "PAUSE THE GAME!"
She rushed over to her brother's side to inspect the damage. Lucas winced with pain when he tried to move his foot.
"Shit," Erica hissed. "I think it's broken."
"It can't be," Lucas despaired. "I've got a game on Monday!"
"What's going on?" asked Dustin, running over to Lucas. "Why's everyone stopped playing?"
"I think Lucas has broken his ankle," said Erica.
"You're joking!" said Mike, pulling off his mask.
"Someone needs to call an ambulance," Vickie suggested.
"We're in the middle of the woods," Will reminded them. "There are no phones!"
"Then we'll need to take him to hospital ourselves," said Eddie. He put an arm around Lucas's shoulder and helped him back onto his feet. "Just put all of your weight on me, buddy."
The pair limped towards the parking lot.
"I'll drive him," Steve offered.
"I can do it," Eddie argued.
"No, I can," Steve shot back.
"Guys, this isn't time for a dick-measuring contest," Robin snapped. "Lucas is really hurt."
"It makes more sense for Steve to drive Lucas," said Dustin. "Me and Erica will come to the hospital with you guys. Eddie can drive the rest of you back to Hawkins."
Eddie looked like he wanted to argue, but instead he nodded curtly. "Makes sense. Don't worry about the camping gear, we'll come back for that later."
And so the fun and games were brought to an abrupt and unceremonious halt. While Erica helped her brother get into Steve's car, everyone else piled into the back of Eddie's van.
Steve didn't see Eddie come up behind him and patted him on the shoulder. "Tough luck, buddy. At least nobody will forget your bachelor party any time soon."
Eddie turned to leave. Remembering what Erica had asked him, Steve called out to Eddie, "Hey Munson, I got a big favor to ask, and I don't want you asking any questions."
Eddie stopped and turned to look at Steve with an intrigued look. "Okay, sure. What is it?"
Steve sighed and asked, "Can I have your autograph?"
Eddie's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Steve Harrington is asking for my autograph?"
"It's not for me," he argued. "It's for a friend."
"Sure it is," Eddie chuckled. "I got a couple of headshots in the van, I'll go grab you one. You uh… you want me to sign it to you personally?"
"No," Steve replied flatly.
"Suit yourself," Eddie smirked.
Steve watched Eddie walk away with a definite spring in his step. Not only had his grand plan to upstage Eddie ended in everyone being eaten alive by mosquitos and potentially ending Lucas's career in basketball before it had even started, now Eddie thought he was a fan. There was no question about it: Steve was the worst best man ever.