I woke up to Jacob getting up in the early morning hours. The sky was still dark, and it didn't look like the sun was coming up for a while yet, he gently put me back onto the mattress and covered me in my quilt. My eyes falling back closed as I subconsciously listened to him leave the room, hearing a low ringing of a phone downstairs. I fell back to sleep with the lingering feeling of Jacob on my body, the rest of me was cold.
I woke up again to him laying back down, a tired heavy sigh of disagreement being woken up left my nose in a short whoosh. He brings me back to his body like I had been before, and I was asleep again the second I was in his arms again.
Waking up to Jacob groaning and gently removing my body from his, grey/golden light invaded my vision when I opened my eyes feeling something against my leg. Groggy vision I seen it, but when my head went back down on the mattress my eyes closed again. I started to wake up when he left the room to the bathroom, I lay there and stretched, I still felt heavy. My body coming out of survival mode is exhausted, my system is exhausted I could lay here for days, the feeling of being safe was something I felt when I was a toddler.
The day went fast, the morning filled with shopping for the house and us, and then coming back home, cleaning and putting everything away. Jacob let me get a lot of coloring books and sketchbooks, I currently have a section the kitchen floor covered in my art supplies while he cooks up some food. It was quiet, I was use to a TV in the background as white noise but all I hear is silence despite the gas stove.
I looked through all of the pages of coloring sheets until I found what one I wanted to razzle dazzle.
The days passed quickly, and I was falling in love with Jacob with each passing hour, always outside on the beach or driving around. Jacob started to teach me how to drive but I keep freaking out when I almost get the hang of it, he just laughs it off and he tries again the next day. He also started to teach me how to cook, a lot of things that I thought were common sense while cooking turned out to be the opposite for me, Jacob is always amused, grinning. I gave up on cooking, cleaning was a better strong suit for me, furniture arrived over the days, and the house was soon finished being furnished by the time it was time to start settling for school hours. The heat is a little difficult to get used to but the water helps a lot, if we're not out driving you'd find me sitting in the water or flopping around in it. Or I was cleaning the already spotless small family house.
I never failed to make Jacob laugh and I wasn't trying too, he takes one picture of me everyday, I don't know why he won't tell me. I've decided to stop questioning it, he only got frustrated with me once. Recently, I've been having this feeling in my lower stomach. And I don't know how to tell him how to explain it, he was trying to help me figure it out, but everything wasn't it and he was frustrated. I noticed the quick shift of heavy aggravation twisted his face before he turned away and went outside, the feeling was gone as soon as his face twisted, and I started to wonder if things were going to go wrong. I started to cry and went upstairs to grab my quilt, I cried and prayed that nothing would change but it only got better. He came back after fifteen minutes and the aggravation was gone, he came back with a pharmacy bag. He sat down beside me on the couch, I was curled up with my right side in the back of the cushions, I relaxed no matter how aggravated he had been he wasn't hostile and didn't stay long for the aggravation to grow.
"I'm sorry for my behavior…" he brushes hair out of the left side of my face, "I know it's hard for you to understand your feelings and decipher them. You have more patience than I do. I hope you can forgive me for my emotional rudeness," he gently caressed the left side of my cheek.
I forgave him, it was minor, extremely minor. We figured out what it was, he came back with tests, I was extremely confused I've never done anything, we've never done anything. But turns out I'm ovulating, and I have never been fully aware of bodily systems like this, and the feeling is I'm just… horny. I stayed in the bathroom for a while, I didn't want Jacob to know I was horny, I didn't know if I wanted him to know if I was ovulating. But I wasn't going to tell him I was pregnant because how? He wouldn't believe it anyways, ugh, okay, it's natural, it's normal, relax.
Jacob might be a wolf but he's not a dog. And it'll probably take me awhile to be ready to do that, especially with just healing, mentally and emotionally.
I needed a lot of healing before I made that decision, I can't handle that right now.
The days turned into weeks, and into months. Everyday was a new step for me, finished senior year of high school with flying colors. I might have our little house covered in my coloring sheets, Jacob might have found a couple of cars and motorcycles here and there, I would have to come outside to drag him in house because he got obsessive with his projects. I love it for him, I do, he's just… determined, passionate. Jacob had joined a couple clubs at the small town school, automotive club, the debate club I was surprised by that but he is very sharp witted in his debates he always wins effortlessly. I am his biggest fan, I made that very clear cheering for him like a lunatic, I made the judges mad but oh well, and he loves it. He deserved it. A couple, he only did two, he was more obsessed with his projects at home, and he will not let me cook.
I joined cooking club to at least give myself some leverage, no, I can only prep, I made my instructor sob, I joined drama and the academic decathlon after that. Like I am his biggest fan, he is mine, Jacob was able to hide his blush with his russet brown skin tone, my golden honey complexion turned rosy and he would leave me alone after seeing it at the first competition. We didn't have 'friends', just school friends, didn't want to get to close, didn't want anyone poking around, taking away the point of a low profile. Jacob turned eighteen early October, I got him a cake with some help of our school friends. I almost had a heart attack waking up one day and Jacob had facial hair, I mean he always had it but it was coming in a lot more around November. I grew two inches, 5'1, and still tiny but I'm in shape and my body was coming in.
We kissed for the first time on New Years Eve and we were finally able to talk to the pack, and everyone involved that night but that was before we kissed. The phone call was long but we got to hear from everybody, Jacobs pack stayed on the phone the longest demanding for a visit, and I mean demanding. Embry and Quil kept making fun of me I was regretting missing them but I know they missed me. Before it hit midnight Jacob chased me around the small beach, around the back and front years, and into the water before he caught me. He kissed me as soon as the neighbors let out fireworks signaling the year of 2008, we might've also fooled around a little that night too. But he still intimidates me in that way, he keeps his hair short and I swear he is growing with muscle every day. More than before like his already mature body was still maturing, it's intimidating because I've seen it, his print and it's … I will die.
Jacob's pictures of me everyday didn't stop. I started driving more, and I got my license, Jacob threw me in the ocean as a celebration. I tried speaking in English more, trying pronounce words, it's going… ehh.
Valentines Day had been eventful with school, we went out to dinner and it was night I told Jacob Te Amo, and we might've stayed in the water until early morning hours. We didn't go to school that morning having slept until 1 pm.
Around springtime and my 18th birthday Jacob and I continued to put in college applications and we were iffy being around each other. Getting sexually frustrated, so I started to please him more, I loved making him a blubbering mess, I still won't let him touch me that way yet. Pleasing him was all I needed, all I wanted. I almost got us caught around the end of the school taking him in my mouth in the lavatory, I almost give in when we got home. I know I'm torturing him but goodness gracious I could not muster up the courage to give in yet, could not muster up the courage to do that yet. We went graduation shopping with our school friends, we all got accepted into the same college and we kept our applications a secret and all ended up picking the same one. Jacob and I were going to same one regardless, but it gave me a feeling that they were meant to be in our lives.
I almost had another heart attack again, Jacob again, he's going to be the death of me one of these days. Boys. He's so stupid sometimes too, it's funny but he's stoopid. But I have never been happier, I have never felt so happy and hopeful for my future.
Tomorrow is graduation and I had deep sense that company was coming, Jacob hasn't been getting any calls from Washington for two weeks. He's been anxious and has been phasing more, I didn't have a bad feeling but that made him more anxious. I spent the whole morning cleaning the house, deep cleaning, Jacobs outside obsessing he found a new project last night. He's got like over eight vehicles around the right side of the house, it's not messy, he's very neat. It's ridiculously hot outside I was not going out, still after showering, I was not going outside today, I busied myself with coloring books on the couch. I got bored with that after fifteen minutes, I was watching TV but I got bored with that too, I was going upstairs when Jacob came back inside through the front.
He's covered in car grime, his skin has also gotten darker from being in the sun, I have started a skin routine at night. I have gotten him in it, always lotion after showering before bed always. Especially in this heat.
His face changed when he saw me going up the stairs, his eyes traveled south, "¿A dónde vas?" his tone has a hint of sultriness, a smirk playing across his lips as he closes the front door.
He going to try to get some, Jacob might be a little more tempted to make me give in, his head tilting as he watches me continue up to the hallway point.
My heart flutters softly in my chest, I couldn't help but smile, "piso superior," I continued up the stairs and still went to the bedroom.
"What are you doing upstairs?" the sultriness is increasing, and he's already coming up the steps.
I shrugged, "nada, bored."
"Come here," his tone is sultry playful, I can feel his presence behind me, but he's dirty.
I squealed and scurried away from him and into our bedroom, "Será mejor que te duches antes de tocarme, te corto," I said while pulling myself up onto the bed.
The bed is high, the frame makes it higher for my short self to get on it, I think Jake did it purposely. He just laughs but goes to the bathroom, I laid down in bed and curled in the blankets with the a/c blowing over me from the window at the bottom of the bed. I was falling asleep when Jacob came back into the room, freshly showered and coming under the blankets. Giggling as he kisses my face and wouldn't let me leave, kissing every inch of my face with different durations and pressure. When he kissed me and was lost in the kiss, my lips tingling and going numb and my heart fluttering in my chest, I let his hand go under my tank top leaving a trail of fire lingering behind. I hook my leg higher around his waist as I let him take my tank top off, kissing me again and continuing to slid his hand upwards to my naked chest. We would get as far as this until I chickened out after feeling his mouth on my breasts, I didn't stop him in this time, massaging and suckling on my breasts and nipples he bit the underside of my left breast when that nipple was erect.
The pain from it subsided when he licked the area, I let him unbutton my shorts and pull my bottoms off, I am aware of my moisture when the a/c blows over my flesh. I broke the kiss off with a soft gasp when he cupped my sex and started to tease my length, taking his time, my teeth grazed his bottom lip when he was finger fucking me with his thumb rubbing circles on my clit. His fingers are hot and melting my skin, mewling and whimpering as he worked my body talking lusciously sultry in my ear, he sent me over the end suckling on my right breast. My hands flying to his hand between my legs with them crossing and closing around his arm and arching off the bed, I fell back onto the bed he stroked a spot inside me. He replaced his hand with his mouth, holding my legs open and never letting me run away, I came apart again stronger and longer this time as he bit the inside of my thighs the pain subsiding when he licked them. He didn't let me do anything back to him, and he never declines that, he latched back onto my clit and added fingers this time. I arched off the bed into a somewhat sitting position crying out and trying to move Jacobs head and his hand as I looked down at him in an eccentric electrical euphoria coursing throughout my body.
He had three fingers fucking me, he kept swirling his tongue on my clit and bringing the engorged bundle of nerves into his mouth, I can't feel my legs. Kissing me with my essence coating his mouth and positioning himself, he slid his forearms under my upper back and cradling my head between his hands.
"Do you still want to do this?" he asks while kissing my neck and trailing to the back of my ear.
"Yés," I replied breathless, sultry, and thick in my Spanish accent.
"This might hurt a bit, I don't want to hurt you," he kisses my ear sweetly, he rests his forehead against mine locking eyes with me, "we can stop at anytime."
He never broke eye contact when he slipped his first inches he barely had to push before I felt some sharp prickling that had tears welling in my eyes, he kissed me as he rubbed my clit to relieve pressure. Getting pass my barrier and allowing me time to adjust with more clit teasing and his kisses, I cried in utter gratification when I came apart all around him. Feeling myself interlock with him as he rides me through my high, riding me through my strongest and longest orgasm, I tried hold onto him but he pulled himself back and held my legs into my chest. We spent the rest of the day in bed making love intensely.
Graduation was eventful, I was able to get a video recording of Jacob walking the stage making sure to keep my celebrations for home to get the graduation for his father and everyone else.
And life went on, as it does.
College was an experience in Colorado, both of us taking business classes and basic classes, we went to college parties and I tried marijuana and liquor for the first time. In junior year of college I got recognized to model for the local times magazine, Jacob was very unsure about it he wanted me to do it, but he was concerned about my location being given away. So we tried it, we tried it out after he called Washington, and I had killed the photoshoot, killed it. He didn't let me sleep the night that they were released, I was so sore and exhausted for two days, he popped the question a couple weeks after that. Senior year Jacob and I got iffy because of focusing on grades and he has been phasing a lot more than the past four years. He's almost seven foot and pure muscle, it's even more intimidating than before I might be chickening out more because of that, I'm still 5'1 and a quarter. I haven't started to be able to for English words, my accent is still thick but I was speaking English, Jacob creamed himself when I spoke a full sentence. One of our school friends started being weird around me but focusing her time on Jacob, he was trying to get out of the situation standing on his loyalty to me I seen the whole thing and she still didn't give up.
I have never been territorial before and she was pushing her limits, Jacob laughed at me when I put my perfume on him and some of my hair strands. Territorial, I don't care, he was my fiancé and even though I had nothing to worry about but it's just… her, she's relentless and embarrassing. She gave up when we got married before college graduation, and we all spilt up after graduation all ready for the next chapter of our lives. I was sad, I got attached and I didn't want to move back to Texas without them. But we had to, the second week of returning back to Texas, to our one bedroom house that had been unoccupied since we left four years earlier, I got a job in one of the office businesses. Walking back into the house I had déjà vu, it was a sad and happy moment when I remembered seeing Jacob for the first time and wishing that I could have a life with him.
I couldn't help but cry happy tears sitting on the shore with the blistering sun beaming down on me, I never want to leave this little home. I fell in love in this house, I have been living in this house.
The first eight months married was difficult, he would disappear for days and I would be losing my mind until he told me why a couple weeks ago. They were coming. They are coming. So Jacob was getting used to phasing in daylight hours, I wanted to move. He said we couldn't, he can't reach Washington and he can't connect to the packs, he's in the dark and he'd be damned to step right in the middle of the war and/or find them along the way back. He knew he needed to go back but he did not want me going anywhere near but he also wasn't going to leave me. It was one of the main things we argued about, I am scared to death its hard for me to go to work, he knew he hated being away from me and being on his own on this.
It's not like I don't see him sometimes, sometimes when I'm going to work I'll see him behind some dunes and other Texas foliage structures, at work I'll feel his eyes and I always know he's right there. He doesn't stay long, he can't, he doesn't have cover and it's very risky. We could've stayed in Colorado by the lake, if they came there all I had to do was drop into the lake, they wouldn't follow. And it'd be easier for him all the way around.
I miss my husband, I know that this is all for me but this has been for over eight months now, my 22nd birthday is in a month. I miss my husband, I want to move, I don't want to sit here; go to Australia. They wouldn't even fly that distance, they would handle a couple hours but not Australia. For one thing, I got away, we got away, and the game is important to them. It's heart wrenching to be away from Jacob, I'm cold all of the times, I've been sick, can't eat anything and I'm always tired. Well if I'm going to be honest, I don't think I'm sick, I keep falling asleep for a couple minutes at a time by my glances at the clock. I went downstairs to the kitchen trying to tire myself out, I just ended sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of ginger tea, looking out the windows.
The kitchen is earthy tones, it's needed with the sand and water, the living room is warm homey tones, the bedroom always changes always different colors and patterns same thing with the bathroom.
The moon moved lower in the sky slowly the more I sat there, an hour and half went by when I heard the front door open.