A/N: Apologies for the delay. Life stuff has been quite busy but I should be at least keeping it consistent with the weeks between uploads (anywhere between 2-3). I appreciate all of you wanting more updates and reviewing the story. I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!
Word Count: 6495
17. Deconstructing Love (Also Another Concussion)
Azula landed, perfectly in form. Her feet firmly planted in the sand shoulder width apart, expertly balanced, her back facing her opponent. She felt bubbly. The little fight had done wonders for how she'd felt about her talk with Percy before.
That was until she was bulldozed by an overwhelmingly heavy ostrich horse.
Suddenly, the princess was terrified again. Although this time it wasn't anxiety, but the multiple inch long talons that dug into the sand dangerously close to her midriff and head.
Siosi sat on her chest, squawking aggressively and extending its plumage outwards. She knew the animal could speak but she couldn't understand it, and that somehow made it even more scary to her. That this animal held what were basically six daggers to her body and it was more than intelligent enough to use them effectively. Azula definitely didn't like the position she was in.
That being said, there wasn't much she could do to get out of it. Not without injuring the ostrich horse but that would only make her life more difficult. And she had also grown on the princess. Not just the fact that Percy and Siosi were close, but even without comprehending what the animal was saying, she enjoyed them both in her company.
So Azula lay frozen, as she was slowly suffocated with the ostrich horse screeching at her and clawing angrily at the sand to either side.
There was a brief pause and the firebender took the opportunity to look at what had made Siosi so aggressive. A few feet away from her lay the unconscious body of her sparring mate.
The princess had thought she'd connected cleanly with her strike at Percy, but she didn't realise she'd kicked him that well. The ostrich horse let out a mix between a snort and a hiss, that Azula didn't know quite how she managed, before thankfully pushing herself off of the princess.
The girl just lay in the sand, still slightly shocked at how fast all of that had happened, watching Siosi trot over to the boy. Then, quite unexpectedly, the ostrich horse grabbed at the bottom of Percy's odd pants and started dragging him towards the lake by her beak.
Azula popped up out of her momentary lapse and started walking towards the two of them.
"What are you doing?" She asked, slightly concerned.
To her immense surprise, she swore she saw the ostrich horse roll her eyes at her and snort once more as she continued on her way down to the shoreline.
I know he's a waterbender, but they can still drown!
She started moving faster towards the pair, getting more worried.
"Hey! Wait! You can't-"
Azula was interrupted as Siosi abrupted let go of Percy before charging at her with wings spread, intimidating her again. The princess stumbled backwards in the shifting ground as she came to a halt. The ostrich horse screeched at her some more, before turning around and pulling the boy faster towards the water.
The girl stood up worriedly but followed much slower. They all moved down until the ostrich horse stepped out into the water. Azula kept reminding herself that this animal was intelligent enough to do this for a reason, but as Percy's body began to bob up and down in the shallow water, her conviction faltered.
Still, Siosi kept pulling him out into the lake. Azula moved until she was knee deep in the water, when Percy's head dropped below the surface. She was a few feet away from them and started splashing out much faster. Once more, the ostrich horse moved into her way, blocking her path as she helplessly watched the guy she knocked unconscious move further under the water.
She tried to side step the animal between her and the sinking body but her shorter legs meant that she could barely move at half the speed of the much taller ostrich horse.
"What are you doing?!" She started to yell exasperatedly. "You're going to kill him!"
Siosi squawked and neighed calmly, and it seemed to Azula like she was saying something along the lines of 'settle down'. After a few more minutes of Percy being underwater, she was getting desperate. The princess was on the verge of using her fire as a last resort, when the water out in the deeper part of the lake started bubbling and breaking with activity.
The firebender watched as schools of fish rushed towards them. She'd never seen anything like that, ever. And even weirder was moments later when they turned around and swam away from the shore in unison. Siosi seemed to take that as a cue to trot herself back towards the beach, as if nothing had ever happened.
Azula strode clumsily and in a panic to where she'd seen Percy drop. But when she got there, he was nowhere to be seen. She splashed and flailed around the area, her hair flying around erratically, almost hysterical in looking for him. The princess ignored what sounded like snorts from the ostrich horse as she was too focused on finding the stupid boy.
Did the fish take him? Are they eating him? Why would Siosi do that?!
All of a sudden, the snorting stopped and it was replaced by what sounded to her as self-righteous neighing. The pompous self-righteousness of it was all that stopped her from her search, as she couldn't fathom a reason for Siosi to be saying 'I told you so' at that moment. When she turned to the animal, it was flicking its head out past her and into the lake.
Going on nothing but resigned curiosity, her watery eyes followed where the ostrich horse was gesturing and saw the water bubbling fervently enough that it looked to be boiling. From where she was standing, she couldn't make out much. But she thought she could see the fish circling around.
What are they doing? What's going on?
Right as she was about to go back to looking for the expectedly dead body of Percy, the lake's surface exploded upwards. A shadow rose many feet into the air within a column of water, surrounding by fish leaping out of the water in rings. Azula just sat there, awestruck.
That can't be…
And, as if to just prove her wrong, the unmistakable body of Percy popped on top of the column as it all started to come back down towards the lake. He fell, being cushioned by the water all the way down. As his pillar crashed down to return to its rightful place, he slipped through the surface with barely a splash.
Azula slowly backed up, getting further and further out of the water with each step as she saw the top of Percy's head torpedoing towards her. Right as she stepped completely onto the sand, Percy stood in the shallow surf with a big grin on his face.
The princess could only gape as he walked calmly towards her. It was only when she really thought for a second did she realise she was still backtracking up the beach. She was pulled out of her silence and inaction as soon as Percy stepped out of the water. He doubled over, grabbing his temples.
"Ow. Yeah, that one hurt." He said.
He looked paler by the second and the firebender started towards him again. Only, Percy took one step back into the water and colour began returning to his features. Azula stopped in her tracks, watching his healing display with an inquisitive fascination.
Without a thought, the princess strode up to him and punched him in the shoulder.
"Ouch! What was that for?"
"I thought you were dead! I thought you drowned!" She yelled at him.
He let out a soft chuckle.
"Yeah, I've gotten that before, a lot." He nodded towards her clenched fist. "From you too, remember."
Azula could do nothing but cough out a laugh at the memory.
"But yeah, ow." Percy continued, holding his head and sitting down in the water. "I think I have a concussion."
"The thing that I had?" Azula winced.
"Yeah, I'd say that makes us even."
He smiled at her and almost immediately her face broke out into one similar to his. The waterbender turned back out to the lake and started massaging his temples again. The princess sat down in the water with him, seeing her robes were already completely soaked and it wouldn't matter.
That was when she realised Percy was bone dry. Even as the slight waves came in and over more of his clothes, it always remained dry.
"How are you doing that?" She asked, pointing to his legs.
He stopped soothing his head to look at where she was indicating to.
"Doing what?" He replied.
Azula didn't know if he was playing dumb or just being daft, though she got the feeling it was the latter.
"How are you staying dry?"
"Oh… umm… waterbending?"
He said it to her as more of a question, and Azula didn't believe it for a second.
"Right." She replied sceptically. "And how did you not die? You were underwater for minutes."
"Waterbending?" He answered again, even less convincingly.
"When you were unconscious?"
She raised her eyebrow at him and he seemed to realise that she wasn't going to accept that as an answer to either question. Percy almost immediately went back to massaging his head.
"Can I tell you another time? My head is killing me." He asked, hopefully.
Azula thought about it and was surprised with how okay she was about not knowing immediately. Though she did take note that the water had started soaking into his clothes, creating further questions she wanted answered in the future.
"Fine." She accepted. "But I want answers at some point."
They both turned out towards the open water again, sitting in silence. It seemed as though Siosi had retreated to the tree line to either get away from the low afternoon sun or as a break for all the hard work she'd put into doing what she had to 'save' Percy, however that had worked. The only sounds around them were the calmingly soft waves onto the sand and the odd animal or insect noise from in the forest.
The time of silence was interrupted by Percy, but Azula hung on his every word.
"You know that trip to the beach I took with my mum that I was telling you about?"
Azula hummed in recognition, her golden eyes trained on his face. It looked pleasantly nostalgic, like he was reliving the memory in front of her.
"I used to see my dad's face in the water."
He gestured out to the lake and the blood in Azula's veins froze. It took all of her willpower not to burst out that she saw her mum very similarly. But she just let him continue talking.
"At times I thought I was going crazy. Sometimes I thought that he was watching over me. But I always knew it was his face, without ever meeting him."
"Was he?"
"Huh?" He asked, distractedly.
Percy looked over at her and she saw his vibrant green eyes through the damp strands of her hair.
"Was he watching over you?"
"I guess, in a way, he was. Although it didn't really matter. At some point, you have to stop waiting for your parents to recognise you. Good parents will do that at every opportunity they can. Not wait for you to do good things for them to do it."
Azula turned away from him, dragging some fingers through her messy hair. Almost immediately, she pulled them out in disgust. Her hair was layered in sand from the spar on the beach. It'd embedded itself when she'd splashed around looking for the frustratingly poignant waterbender next to her.
Her eyes looked past the flecks of sand between her fingers to the surface of the water. The wisps of her mother's hair mirrored her own. The princess' lasting image of the night she'd left her, the first hug she'd received since that day on the beach followed by watching Ursa be enveloped by the shadows of the hallway. Not knowing why she felt sad, so choosing to be angry. Her mother had seemed to want to say something, but she never did. Azula had always hated her for that.
"Could I...?" Percy asked from beside her.
Her eyes flickered over to him only to see a comb made from ice held in his hand. The princess fought to hold back a blush.
"W-what?" She stuttered.
"Oh."
The waterbender looked down, shyly. It was the first time Azula had seen the boy like that, and she leant closer to him in response.
"I just… I used to do with back home with someone."
He scratched the back of his head with the comb.
"And I actually found it very therapeutic. Not to mention, it keeps my hands busy."
"Therapeutic?" She asked, without thinking.
"Oh, like, calming." He clarified.
Azula, very much red in the face, turned slightly so that the back of her head was closer to him. She felt and heard the sloshing of water as Percy moved to sit behind her. Her heart leapt slightly as she braced herself for the comb to come through her hair.
The princess felt a deep exhale hit the back of her neck, sending tingles down her spine. Immediately after, the cold tines of the comb touched her scalp. She shivered as it travelled down the length of her loose hair. Out of the corner of her almost closed eyes, she saw some water move up towards her. She felt its coolness on the top of her head.
With one more stroke of the comb, Azula's whole body relaxed and her eyes shut completely. She reflexively leant into the contact as he rhythmically brushed through her hair. The water pooling on top of her head soothing it as she felt the sand be gently pulled out.
"You've done this before?"
Her mouth moved disconnected from her brain.
"Yeah. I used to do it a lot. I wanted to practice..."
Azula's eyes fluttered open at the ambiguity.
"Practice?"
"Yeah. I practiced on my… on my old girlfriend."
"Oh."
Azula tried hard to make her emotions unknown, but she felt she hadn't done quite well enough.
"Is that why you liked doing it?" She tried to change the subject from her slight jealousy.
"Partially."
His hand took the comb down the side of her head and she leant to that side. They both fell silent as it seemed Percy was unwilling to go deeper into it. Azula tried to lighten the mood a little, but did it a little too well.
"So, did you do it to practice brushing hair?"
He chuckled slightly, although it appeared to be getting more painful.
"No. It's not something that's difficult to do."
The boy snivelled behind her and she realised that even as he was laughing, he was tearing up.
"You don't have to say if you don't want to." She told him.
And Azula meant it. She had attempted to sound soft, but feared she might've been a bit too blunt. She felt like she was prying him open and something about that just felt wrong. The princess also was uncomfortable. It was a position she'd never been in before.
"No, it's okay. It might be easier to show you, if you want?" He asked.
That peaked the princess' curiosity.
"Alright. Show me."
She turned and looked over her shoulder at him with a smile. When he returned it with one just as genuine, Azula had to turn away to hide her flushed cheeks.
After a few more scrapes through with the ice comb, Percy began slightly tugging on her hair. Within seconds, she felt different sections be split and looped through one another. It didn't feel too dissimilar to how her servants did it, but with him, it just seemed so personal.
In very little time, a braid was formed out of her black hair.
"This was what you were practicing?" Azula asked, in quiet disbelief.
She found it incredibly hard to comprehend that the same boy who'd just come out of an explosion of water would spend his days practicing hairstyles. That being said, the princess didn't really know what to expect from him anymore.
"Yeah."
His voice held such nostalgia and pain that the princess had to twist to look at him. Once she faced him, she saw him looking up to the golden afternoon sun with tears in his eyes. Azula was so close to him that every tear and crinkle on his face was visible. It was the first time imperfections had looked so… perfect to her.
"Was it for…" Azula trailed off.
She didn't want to accidentally say girlfriend spitefully or aggressively, so she just let it hang in the air.
"No, it wasn't for her. It was for my baby sister."
Tears started streaming out faster as Azula extended her hand to his. As she gripped it, he seemed to jolt out of his moment and look down at the water. Percy's hand retracted from hers slightly. The princess set her hand back down in her lap.
"You have a baby sister?" She asked.
Azula couldn't help but ask more questions, even though she felt like she shouldn't. That feeling only got worse with his response.
"I was going to have one." He corrected her sadly.
And suddenly she felt awful.
Oh no.
It would've explained a lot, and just have been truly terrible for him.
"What happened?" She asked, fearful of the answer.
"I never got to see her. I was brought here before I could."
She let out a silent breath of relief.
At least, as far as he knows, she's still alive.
"I-I'm…" Azula stuttered.
She didn't know what to say. Sorry just didn't feel right, and she had a particularly hard time with it anyway.
"It's not your fault." Percy said. "Just sucks."
He started laughing to himself, in between choking up from crying. Azula sat, confused at his shift.
"I would've given that little kid so much love. And so many terrible hairdos."
The princess smiled at him, only to realise her hands had been fiddling with the end of her braid. As she looked at it, she realised he'd done quite a good job for something she didn't know a lot about. It held together nicely and looked great.
"Well, if they looked like this, I'm sure that she would've loved them." Azula complimented.
Percy smiled at her, gratefully. Azula kept twisting her hair between her fingers, blushing at the implication that she also loved it.
They were both silent for a while, bathing in the moment. The princess saw the sandy shore line, picturing her dad sitting up the beach from where her mum had combed through her hair so long ago. A question she'd had sinking in the pit of her stomach came rising out of her.
"Did… did your father love you?"
The boy's hands started gliding through the water. She didn't know if that had something to do with her question, him being a waterbender and all, or if it was just keeping his hands busy like he'd said. His eyes followed his hands.
"I'd like to think he did. There were some rules preventing him from showing it a lot. But he tried to show it in other, small ways."
Azula nodded in understanding. That sounded awfully familiar and a part of her agreed in her circumstances. Percy just had to continue.
"But then again, it doesn't really matter, does it?"
"What do you mean?"
"If you really love someone, it doesn't matter what rules or expectations stand in your way. They're either going to show you and tell you that they love you, or they won't."
Azula looked down at her hands, imagining a fire dancing across them.
"And your father?"
His question caught her off guard and seemed slightly accusatory.
"Yes, he does." She replied, instantly.
Even Azula heard her own defensiveness, although she didn't know why she'd said it that way.
"Really?"
"Yes." Azula doubled down.
She heard Percy sigh from in front of her. She turned her head up to look into his swirling green irises.
"Have you ever loved, Azula?"
The princess could tell how seriously he was asking just through the pain in his eyes and voice. She had to think for a second.
"Yes, I love my father. And I love my nation." She said, her princess façade coming back slightly.
Percy's head dropped almost immediately.
"It'd be so much easier to get to know you without that mask of yours." He mumbled.
"What?" She asked, not because she didn't hear him, but because she didn't understand.
"Never mind." He sighed.
The princess looked at him sceptically, wanting to know what he meant by that, but he continued asking her questions.
"And why do you love them?" He asked, as though he already knew the answer.
Azula was surprised with how difficult she was finding it to respond to such a simple question.
"They gave me everything." She said, finally.
"Okay, and what is everything?"
The boy raised his eyes to match her again and she forced herself not to lean into him.
Power, being the princess, firebending, my destiny.
Azula was about to respond, when he interrupted her thoughts.
"And if your first thoughts aren't love, or don't involve love, then you don't love them. And they probably don't love you either."
The princess' eyebrows raised defensively.
"No, that's not true. That-"
"Means that they might care about you. Maybe." Percy calmly interjected again. "And you might appreciate them. Those aren't bad things. But if you were to ask me why I loved my mum, I could list hundreds of things that she's given me. It was her pretty much unconditional love and support though, that was the only thing that got me through. That is one of the first things that comes to me."
Azula stayed silent.
"There were times when I questioned some of her decision making, but at no point did I question the love she had for me. And she told me that she loved me every chance she got."
The princess found she couldn't use her voice.
"So no, I wouldn't say you've loved. If your father and your nation weren't a part of your life, how would you feel? Would you be sad at how they couldn't give you those things anymore, or would you be sad that you lost them, as a whole person or thing?"
His eyes pierced straight through her with an undeniably deep and true emotion.
"I've lost a lot of people, and I will forever be destroyed because of it, but it's not because of how they could've helped me now. It's not because of the things they could give me."
The firebender looked down into the water and thought she saw her mother's face.
"When did you start loving the Fire Nation? Was it when you were taught it?" He asked.
She turned away from him, sensing somewhere within her that he'd hit the truth. Some of the voices in her head tried to dispute his points, but Percy just kept talking.
"You can't be taught love; love isn't something that's ever pushed upon you. And you can't push it. In my experience, it has been something that, no matter how hard you try to deny it, it proves you wrong."
Azula felt enviousness rise within her, feeling unable to relate to what he was saying. He still continued talking, apparently lost in the memories of his love.
"Have you ever wanted to not like someone so badly, but everything in you just refuses?"
You.
It came into her head faster than she could push it out, very much proving his point to her. Her face flushed at all the thoughts that kept trying to explode into her brain.
"I've found, in my life, when you find true, reciprocated love, you have to hold onto it. Because you never know when it'll all be taken and stripped away from you."
He held onto the ice comb in his hands as tight as she'd seen him. It began to crack.
"You never know when it'll all slip through your fingers with you unable to do anything about it."
The comb melted. And with the final droplets of water falling back into the lake, Percy stood up completely dry and walked up the beach.
Percy trudged past Siosi, who was minding her own business by the cabin. The headache from his concussion had returned slightly after he'd left the lake. He pulled some of the frozen chunks of meat out for their dinner, as the sun seemed to be speeding its way down the sky.
He heard the princess slosh up behind him. He knew her robes were drenched through but he didn't offer to dry them. He hadn't seen any waterbender do it and didn't want to incur any more questions on the topic. Not with a throbbing headache.
Azula continued into the cabin, presumably to get changed, and the demigod made his way over towards their firepit. He let the meat sit, frozen, and brought forward his fire-starting pieces of timber. There were flashes of blue light from in between the small gaps in the wall of the cabin, but Percy chose to ignore them.
After a few minutes of trying and failing, he heard the rustling of feathers and footsteps approaching him. A shift in warmth let him know that Siosi had sat nearby.
"Would you like me to start that for you?"
He heard the princess' voice and looked up, her hand tugging and playing nervously at her braid. That wasn't what he first noticed though. She had changed, like he'd expected, but not back into whatever robes she was wearing before.
Percy's eyes travelled up a long skirt that opened just above her knee. Her midriff was exposed with an almost strapless top. An ornate golden necklace hung around her neck and seemed to be connected to the top but he couldn't be sure. She had yet more gold in an armband that sat high on her right arm.
The word beautiful was all that came into his head.
"Uhhh, yeah." He said, trying desperately not to stumble over his words.
Something in his reaction gave the princess a little more confidence, as she walked up to the firepit and blue flames leapt onto the wood. She moved and sat next to him on their log, sitting far too close for her not to want to talk about something. Percy had more talked at her sitting in the lake, so she probably had a lot to say in response. He'd meant every word though.
His mind did hope that there might be other reasons for the closeness, but he tried to force those thoughts out.
"I do love people."
When Percy looked at her out of the corner of his eye, she seemed to blush. Stuttering, Azula continued.
"I love my friends. And I love my brother. And-"
She caught herself, and he only slightly wanted to know what she was going to continue with.
"Okay, I believe you." He paused. "But have you told any of them that?"
Azula's mouth opened, only to have it promptly pop closed. It stayed shut as he continued.
"And how many times have you done things for them? Not for you, not for anything you wanted, just for their benefit?"
"Yes. I have done that." She said, proudly.
"Okay, good."
There was a slightly smile on his face and it seemed Azula appreciated it.
"But what would you do if their interests went against what you wanted?"
The princess stayed silent. Percy took that as a cue to start getting their food ready. He defrosted and skewered the meat for the two of them before setting it up above the flames. As he turned it, he saw the girl, looking insecurely at her hair once more.
It seemed Siosi wasn't one to let the awkward silence stop her from making a point.
'You're welcome, by the way.'
"For what?" He asked, completely bewildered at the change in topic.
'For saving your dumbass life from my saviour.'
"The concussion?"
'Exactly.'
"I wouldn't have died. I've had so many concussions before."
'But you would be hurting a lot more right now.'
The demigod sighed.
"Oh, why thank you, for attempting to drown me." He rolled his eyes.
'I'm going to ignore the sass and accept your thanks. Also, you can't drown. Don't fish for pity. It's not a good look on you. You're already half fish as it is, don't want you turning all the way.' She said.
"I'll splash you with water." He threatened her.
She squawked at him and flared her short wings out before turning away.
"I also thought she was going to drown you." Azula spoke up, having a half smile half questioning expression.
Siosi huffed with her back to them.
"Mmhmm." Percy hummed, still not really wanted to answer.
He saw she was still very much fiddling with her braid, anxiously.
"Your hair looks nice." His brain decided to blurt out.
Percy wanted to kick himself, but he didn't mind it after her eyes jumped to him and widened with hope.
It wasn't his smoothest moment, but he'd never actually been that smooth to begin with. Azula seemed to appreciate it, as she toyed with the end of the braid a little more confidently.
"I'd hope you'd think that, considering you were the one that did it."
She gave him a shy smirk and he was about to slap himself upside the head. He might've done it if his head wasn't still aching slightly.
Even for me, that sounds bad.
"No, I didn't mean it like that."
He sighed exasperatedly and he saw Azula smiling a little more. Percy even heard Siosi snickering behind the log the princess sat on. He thought he heard a 'dumbass' and he wasn't surprised.
"I didn't mean the style. I meant your hair." He said, trying desperately to get himself out of the hole he'd dug for himself. "It's very… you."
"Thank you." She said, after a second's pause.
Slowly the sunlight faded, leaving only the crackling orange of the fire to light up the area. The demigod whispered his promise and a 'hello' up to the first stars of the night, before returning his attention to what he was doing. Percy pulled the cooked meat off of the wood and placed it on the two plates. He handed her a plate and Azula took it. He couldn't tell but he swore she was blushing.
As he sat down, he felt her leaning towards him. The demigod didn't know why, but he felt himself leaning into her side as well. He looked at her to see her smiling widely, an expression that transformed her usually angular, intimidating features into much softer, kinder ones. They ate in comfortable silence.
Both their heads turned to Siosi as they heard the fluttering of feathers once more. Wordlessly, they looked to where the ostrich horse's head had turned. From the sky, a hawk flapped down towards them.
Almost immediately, Azula's whole mood shifted. He saw her back straighten and her face slip back into that mask he'd seen for so long. Her jaw and cheeks set sharply with her cold, gold eyes. Exactly the same as back locked up in the tank train and underneath Ba Sing Se.
The bird hopped next to her and had all the attention of their little group. The princess took out the scroll and the animal shot off into the air. Percy watched it fly off, unable to fight off the annoyance at its intrusion.
Once it'd disappeared, he turned his eyes back onto Azula. She also seemed to have been watching the bird, so they both found themselves looking at the scroll at the same moment.
At first, she seemed to pull it away from his sight. But then, whether trusting him with whatever information it held or that he was telling the truth about not knowing the language, she rolled it open in front of them both.
I mean, at least it's some trust.
As her eyes scanned down though, imperceptibly, her head dropped.
Azula had to return to the Fire Nation. Of course she did. Immediately.
The only solace she took was that in the message, it was just about the war meeting. Nothing to do with her. Just the invasion she'd reported to the Fire Lord's war ministers when she'd been debriefed on Ba Sing Se. Nothing directly about her father.
But did it have to be now?
She looked over at Percy to see that he'd stopped leaning towards her. He wasn't moving away, but there was a very clearly defined distance that she was finding she hated.
"You're being told to go back, aren't you?"
Azula heard a little more sadness this time, much to the fluttering in her stomach's delight. Though it was hard to enjoy it when she was being dragged away again.
"Yeah." She replied, just as sombrely.
It was all she felt like saying in response. The princess felt how stony her expression had become and unfortunately, her old habits came back.
"I have to."
Percy looked at her, unshaken.
"No, you don't." He countered, bluntly.
"Yes, I do."
"No, you-"
Percy was interrupted by some squawking from Siosi.
"Yes, I know." He said slightly irritated.
"Huh?" Azula asked him, desperately confused, her façade breaking slightly.
The waterbender began rubbing his temples.
Maybe his concussion, or whatever he called it, isn't as gone as I thought.
"She just said 'This isn't getting anyone anywhere.' Plus a few other choice words."
The princess sat still, before her train of thought was cut short by the boy.
"You don't."
Azula opened her mouth to interject once more but he continued before she had the chance.
"Pretty much everyone always has a choice. And what you choose to do is what matters. It makes us who we are."
The space between them seemed to grow even further, much to her dismay.
"Who are you, Azula?"
Her brain floundered, being put on the spot. It decided to rattle off the things that had been ingrained in her since she could remember.
"I'm the Fire Princess. The daughter of Fire Lord Ozai, a prodigy firebender and born lucky. Destined to lead my nation into glorious future."
It felt more like muscle memory, regurgitating that answer. She had no idea why she didn't like how it felt coming out of her mouth. It left a bitter taste on her tongue.
"No, that wasn't my question."
"But that is who I am." Azula said, stubbornly.
"No. I asked who are you. Not who you are to your father, not who you are to your nation. Who are you? Who is Azula?"
The firebender sat there, speechless.
"If you never take off the mask your father created, how will you ever be, or even know, who you are?"
She didn't know what to say. Again, her mind decided to pull from what she'd been taught.
"But that is who I am. I am destined to lead my nation. That is what I was born for."
And your destiny could be to sit by my side on the throne. She supplied for herself, hopefully.
A derisive chuckle came out of the boy sitting next to her.
"Yeah, you said something like that back Ba Sing Se, didn't you? Born to rule. Or the divine right to rule. Whatever rubbish that was."
Azula spluttered to try and form a retort but he kept going.
"No. That's not destiny. You can never know what your destiny is. I lived most of my life with a destiny to die hanging over my head. And yet here I stand, or sit I guess, but that's beside the point. Destiny isn't set, it's only what you make with what you're given that truly creates your destiny. And you never know where fate will take you."
She was suitably stumped. The aggressive voice in her head was screaming at her, but it was drowned out by the calming waves of Percy's.
"So you don't have to go back. It's your choice."
"No." She said shakily. "I do have to go back."
Percy shook his head sadly. The princess stood, fighting everything inside her that wanted to stay sitting down next to him.
She first went into the cabin to pick up her bag. She saw her fur blanket sitting on the floor and, in the darkness of the cabin, saw Percy's sitting on the other side of the room. Not thinking too much about it, she swapped the two, surrounding herself in the seaside scent.
Azula began her journey to her steed, knowing she had to leave immediately to even have a chance at getting back to do all the things she needed to do before the invasion. After passing Percy and the ostrich horse, and about halfway to her own animal, she realised that she hadn't fed it.
It's been days! What was I thinking?
She sped up her pace, knowing her two companions were following her. As soon as she arrived at her tied-up mount, she saw it was alive. Very restless, but still alive. That was when she saw all the remains of a part of an animal. Slight flecks of blood were left over on some of the mongoose dragon's appendages and face.
Azula turned around to see Percy there, with his ostrich horse hovering behind him.
"Did you feed it?"
Percy shrugged, but she saw Siosi bob her head up and down.
"Um, thank you." She said awkwardly, not being used to saying it.
"You're welcome." He replied, equally uncomfortably.
She placed her blanket over the saddle and tied her bag onto the side. Percy stood a few feet behind her, so when she turned around to face them, they were right in front of her.
Even just under the light of the moon and the stars, Azula could clearly make out the boy in front of her. He was watching her, as if trying to find something within her again. But, for once, she didn't wait to see if he found it.
All the voices disappeared from her head as she felt a kind of clarity she hadn't before. Her face lost its sharpness; her posture lost its stiffness. She felt herself floating in the lake, the serene calmness of her surroundings.
Azula stepped forward, her clenched hand finding the collar of his shirt.
She pulled him in.
And then she kissed him.
A/N: So... a fun and long chapter. Hope you did enjoy that one and that it was worth the wait. I thought about splitting this one but it really only read well as a single chapter. A lot happening. We have the end of the arc by the lake, one of my favourites that started with the flashbacks. We're now heading into the invasion arc but there is a bit more before then so we won't be getting straight into that. As always, let me know what you thought, and thank you for your continued reading!
Some review replies:
HellRaiderS/Jctherebel: Thank you both! I appreciate it and hope you continue to enjoy!
Artorias78: I'm glad you are still continuing to enjoy the story more and more! That's awesome! I couldn't agree more on your sentiment but you're right. A lot more character moments and potential growth in this chapter too. I'm definitely trying to keep this as original and unique a potential redemption story for Azula as possible. Let me know what you thought of this chapter.
Anvith Mithra: I'm glad you enjoyed them in the last chapter... might've gotten a few more in this one. There is a lot more development to come.
It is. I'm super glad at your declaration! It's much appreciated.
Junky: That's fair. I, personally, find her fun to write and an enjoyable character, but you can find her annoying. I can't make you like her character like I do.
Death Fury: Absolutely. I wanted to try to build any kind of relationship in this story as naturally as possible. No jumping in and skipping over interesting and characterful moments.
Callum Runchman: I completely understand that view point. I, myself, really enjoyed that it wasn't shown because that's often how mental health problems are. From the outside you can't see them, but you find yourself having a breaking point that seems to be a drastic shift in character. I think the ability for me to write the mentality and thoughts of Azula really helps smooth out the transition for the story though, so that's one of the main reasons I started writing this. I agree though, everyone needs someone in their corner to vent to, especially in childhood. I enjoy perzula fics for that reason too. Although I've tried to make it clear that even though she does have people to talk to now, those issues have not disappeared at all because that's how those things work. I hope you enjoy what I do with the story though.
CRUDEN: Ouch indeed, although I'm curious if this chapter is less or more of an ouch, in terms of words.
WildMan98: It's one of my favourite subtle through lines. Glad you picked up on that. It started in the flashback as a kid with Ozai and led to that. I'm really trying to show how even the smallest of terrible things Ozai does to Azula has its repercussions on her mental wellbeing.
GNWFreak1: That's awesome! I appreciate it and I hope you continue to read and enjoy!
Guest: I am updating! Sorry for the delay although I appreciate your enthusiasm!
Guest: I really appreciate that. You were right, I wasn't done with the chapter, editing it and everything, until yesterday. Thank you for saying that :)
Thank you all for your reviews, this is really what motivates me to write more. I look forward to seeing you next time.
-PS