Chapter 37

Zuko frowned as he sat on the edge of his bed, his shoulders drooping tiredly. He had been staring at his ceiling, trying his best to calm his anger so he could try and get some sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Izara, bruised and bloody, partly falling in through his office door. The image of the massive purple and blue bruise that covered the right side of her ribcage. The angry red lines from partially healed cuts, the dried blood that had caked on her clothes, and her skin that had turned a rust-brown colour. Watching her drop to her knees in obeisance had flooded his mind with relief, worry and fury. Seeing her alive was a relief; her injuries caused worry, and knowing who was responsible ignited the fury. He'd spent the few days while she was gone bouncing between pacing as his mind raced with terror and enraged and wanting to set out on Appa and track her down. There was a part of him that had considered finding June and her shirshu, Nyla, to hire them to track Izara to the Supremacist camp. He would have gotten to that eventually if she hadn't returned and had already sent out some feelers to see if he could find June to prepare for that possibility. Zuko hadn't received word of success yet. It was no longer necessary since Izara had returned, much to his relief.

Izara had been purposely vague on precisely what had happened to her while she was at the Supremacist camp. He was still unsatisfied despite getting more information in the council meeting. He knew that she had clearly been tortured, and Katara's shocked gasps while she had been treating her were enough to tell him that it was brutal. Knowing that she had suffered for his sake and for the cause of peace only heightened his respect for her, but he was still upset that she had been hurt so terribly. His short temper had been tested since Izara had been back, not wanting her to be concerned about his state of mind while she was recovering. Thus, he bit his tongue many times and spent some nights unable to sleep due to his anger.

With a frustrated groan, he got up and marched out of his bedroom door. Izara's room was just around the corner, in the quieter part of the Palace, and he only had to walk around 20 metres to reach her door. There was a faint flickering on the ground from underneath the door, signalling that the light was on in her room, and he knocked softly. He heard her speak from the other side, permitting him entry, and he pushed the door open and closed it behind him after he walked inside. When he saw her lying in bed, he smiled gently.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I thought you might still be awake because of the light." Although Zuko spoke softly, his voice sounded through the room, which didn't have much furniture to absorb the sound.

"I've been reading, so you didn't really wake me," she answered, and he looked to see the now-closed book on her lap. "What are you doing here? You should be resting," Izara replied evenly from the bed in the corner of the room.

"That's the pot calling the kettle black." He retorted with a cheeky smirk before his expression changed to something akin to bashful. "I couldn't sleep. I wanted to check on you."

"I'm okay. You need to sleep, though." She said with a smile.

With a slight hesitation, he walked over and pulled the nearby chair next to her bed. Once she had come back, bruised and bloody, he had sat on that chair for days at a time. Although he wasn't sure how to phrase it, he wanted to ask as delicately as possible. Despite her tough exterior, he had begun to see the softer sides of her personality. He believed that she was much more sensitive than she let anyone realise. Hopefully, it was a sign that she was letting her walls down around him, and he wanted to help and support her through her healing process.

"Will you… tell me exactly what happened to you?" He enquired gently, sitting forward in the chair, and she huffed in reply.

"I'm okay. I promise." She saw right through him.

"But how can you say that? You're covered in scars and bruises." His frustration became more evident in his voice, but he couldn't seem to control it. It wasn't directed at her, but the situation.

"Come on, these things will heal. I got us some amazing intel, and we now have the upper hand." Her tone was so calm, and she even smiled at the mention of the information they had, and he felt the stranglehold he had on his emotions snap cleanly in half.

"Izara, they fucking tortured you! How are you so calm about it?!" As he raised his voice, he stood up so fast that the chair fell backwards.

"Because I did it for you!" she blurted out, her voice raised, and all traces of her casual approach disappeared.

Zuko leaned back in surprise, his eyes wide at her sudden admission. He watched her silently as she adjusted her seated position, pushing the blankets and placing her book aside carefully as if slowing each action would help get a hold of her own feelings. She moved to hang her legs over the side of the bed, facing him squarely. He hovered in concern about her hurting herself as she moved, but her face gave no indication of pain. She rarely ever broke her composure when talking about work-related matters, almost as if she was a different person. Still, it seemed that the two sides of her were mixing together.

"I'm not saying that it was easy or that it didn't hurt. But it was worth it because I did it for you. That's why I can justify it." She spoke slowly, contrasting with her earlier outburst.

He needed clarification as to which version of himself she was referring to: himself as the Fire Lord or the man he was underneath the formal robes. The man he was when they trained and occasionally had tea together in the library. The man who had flirted with her and even kissed her. Before he dared to ask, he righted the chair and sat back down, taking a breath. Depending on her answer, their relationship could change going forward. His desire for her and misinterpreting her words and actions as returning his feelings had already risked their friendship. But he still hoped he hadn't misunderstood, and she felt the same way.

"Do you mean for the Fire Lord or for me?" he asked, holding her gaze. They stayed that way for a long time before she finally looked away, staring at her hands in her lap.

She didn't answer, and he exhaled heavily before leaning back in his seat, staring at the ceiling. He reached up to run his fingers through his hair in a gesture that always seemed to comfort him, remembering his mother doing the same thing when he was a child. It hadn't lost its effect even after all those years. Zuko knew that he had certainly had some moments with Izara that weren't exactly normal between a boss and his employee or even between friends. They had flirted, and even though she had run away, they had kissed, and he thought she wanted it. He liked her for who she was, and he had concreted that idea further every time they had been in each other's presence. His feelings for her grew, and her silence made his heart sting in pain.

"Two sides of the same coin…" she muttered, and he scoffed in frustration at her before she took a slow breath.

"It was for you."

Her voice pulled him from his thoughts, and he stayed in the same position as he realised from her tone that she was referring to Zuko, not the Fire Lord. He moved in his seat to look at her, but she still looked in her lap. He wanted to talk about it, but she began speaking instead.

"When I first arrived, they had me tied to a chair. The same guy that took me came in and kept trying to ask me how to get into the bunker underneath the Palace. He backhanded me twice and punched me in the guts. I think that's when my ribs cracked. They starved me and deprived me of water, but I'd already gotten out of my bonds, so I could at least move around and treat my wounds. The next day, they asked me questions, and every time I didn't answer, they made a cut on my upper arm." She ran her fingers over the small lines, healed by Katara so they were barely visible in the low light of her bedroom.

"Aside from that, I was burned and hit a lot. To be honest, I expected worse. It's not my first experience with torture." She allowed herself to be vulnerable before him, and he appreciated her feeling comfortable enough to open up. He knew she was just trying to save him from the pain and worry by not telling him.

"I'm so sorry." Zuko knew he wouldn't like hearing it, but he reached over and took her hand in a comforting gesture.

"It's alright. As I said, it was worth it." She squeezed his hand to thank him for his apology and smiled reassuringly.

Zuko smiled back but kept holding her hand even though it was going over that line that had slowly become more blurred as they got to know one another. She grabbed his hand, even as she shuffled and winced faintly. With a soft gasp, Zuko went into mother hen mode, ushered her to lie down and pulled the covers back over her. He sat her book on her bedside table. He idly noticed that it was a title rather famous for its romantic storyline. Mentally noting to tease her for that later, he moved the chair back to its original place once she was in bed and prepared to leave before Izara's voice stopped him.

"Could I ask a favour?" She seemed apprehensive and didn't look at him, but she continued when he nodded. "Could you… stay for a while? I'm having trouble falling asleep. That's why I was reading."

Although his thoughts raced like crazy, he nodded briefly with a hint of a smile he couldn't hide. He walked back over and swallowed thickly as Izara slowly moved further to the other side of the bed to allow him space to lie down. Instead of questioning it, he just went along with it and made himself comfortable but didn't get under the covers. He wanted to be closer to her but didn't want to make her uncomfortable. She'd already technically rejected him by pushing him away after their kiss, and now was not the time to discuss it with her.

"Talk to me," she said as she snuggled into the covers, only her head visible.

"What do you want me to talk about?" He answered her with his own question and a soft laugh.

"I don't know… Tell me about what you've seen of the world."

"Okay. How about I tell you when I worked in a tea shop with my Uncle in Ba Sing Se?" Zuko was always happy to talk about his Uncle, and everyone who knew him was equally pleased to hear about him. Iroh adored Izara, and she admired him in return.

"You worked in a tea shop?" Izara's voice grew softer as she became more drowsy, but she laughed softly in disbelief.

Zuko took that as his cue to keep talking about how the Jasmine Dragon eventually came to be: how he and his Uncle worked in the other shop before they were offered one of their own. He talked more about Ba Sing Se. Although Izara's eyes were closed, Zuko knew she wasn't asleep yet, so he spoke about how he had met Aang and what had happened when he tried to join him. She huffed softly sometimes, signalling she was awake and listening to him as he regaled her with some of his past.

Eventually, her breathing became even, and she fell asleep, but Zuko found he was far too relaxed to move. It was probably because he'd barely slept and felt better with Izara beside him, knowing she was safe. He planned to close his eyes for a few minutes before getting up and returning to his room.

That didn't go as planned, and he ended up drifting into slumber, enjoying the presence of the woman lying next to him…