Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of the Abyss.

Chapter 35

Remday, Gnome-Decan 52, ND2019 – 11:20am local time (Southeast of Yulia City)

Florian held his breath, waiting for Tear to answer his question. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, partly with anticipation, but mostly with anger. Some of it was anger at Anise, but more of it was anger at Pamela and Oliver for being such a burden on their daughter. If those two idiots hadn't gotten themselves kidnapped, Anise would never have been forced to choose between them and Ion, Florian thought furiously.

Why had Anise chosen her parents over Ion? It made no sense. If Ion was still alive, and Pamela and Oliver were dead, Anise would be happier... right? Florian thought. She wouldn't have to worry so much about money, and she wouldn't have to worry about what kind of stupid things they might do when she wasn't watching over them. She'd be free to live her life, without them holding her back. And she would still have her beloved Ion, and... I'd be free to live my own life, too, Florian realized, with a pang of wistful sadness. I could be myself, without Anise or anyone else thinking of me as a replacement for Ion.

"I can't speak for Anise, or her choice," said Tear. "I just wish..." she trailed off, glancing away from Florian toward Anise's bunk.

"You wish she'd chosen Ion?" Florian asked. "I wish she'd chosen Ion."

"No... I wish she had asked us for help," Tear replied. "If only she had trusted us to stand by her, and see beyond her actions as a spy for Mohs, we might have been able to rescue her parents and keep Ion out of Mohs's hands."

"Oh," said Florian. "Yeah, that would have been better." Why didn't I think of that? he wondered. I shouldn't wish that Pamela and Oliver were dead. I know that's wrong. But I wish Anise was happy. It's not wrong to wish for someone to be happy, is it?

Tear gave Florian a quizzical look. "I'm surprised to hear that you wish she had chosen Ion. What do you think would have happened to you, if Ion was still alive?"

"Huh?" Florian asked, surprised by Tear's question.

"We found you being forced to read the Score at the Absorption Gate. Would you have been there, then, if..." Tear paused to swallow hard, "if Ion hadn't died reading a Score that Mohs refused to believe?"

"Um..." said Florian, "Maybe...? If you all had kept Ion safe from Mohs, then Mohs might still have..." Florian fell silent as he realized that he was about to say, used me instead. He didn't like the idea of anyone using him as a tool. He frowned.

Tear tilted her head slightly and said, "Now I'm curious: what was your life like, before reading the Score at the Absorption Gate? Where were you? What were you doing?"

"I don't remember much," Florian admitted. "I remember that I escaped from Mount Zaleho and lived in the forest for a while. I remember Mohs finding me. After that, I lived in a small room in the cathedral. Mohs brought me food and kept me safe. But I didn't do anything there, except eat and sleep. I never left the room, because Mohs told me not to. I guess I would probably still be there, doing nothing, if I hadn't been taken to the Absorption Gate."

"Actually, you would probably be dead of starvation by now," Tear pointed out, "if Mohs was the only one who knew you were in that room. Was he the only one who knew about you?"

"Yeah, I guess he was," Florian replied. "No one else brought me food. It was always Mohs."

Tear's curious expression intensified. "What did you think of him?"

"Mohs? He was okay. He took care of me, but he never stayed to talk to me, or gave me any books to read, or anything. He wasn't mean to me... but now that I look back, I think he wasn't very kind, either." After a moment, Florian added, "He wasn't keeping me as a prisoner, exactly." He was keeping me like a tool in a toolbox, and I never knew it, Florian thought indignantly. And he used Anise and her parents as tools. He even used Ion as a tool.

"Are you sad that Mohs is dead?" Tear asked.

"I should be, but I'm not," Florian answered honestly. "Especially not after reading about him in Luke's diary! All that time, he was doing horrible things, and I was in a little room doing nothing, knowing nothing. I wish I had been brave enough to leave that room. Maybe I could have done something to stop him!"

Tear blinked in surprise. "What do you think you could have done? You were like a newborn baby, back then. Do you think a baby could have stopped Mohs... or Van?"

"No," said Florian, feeling ashamed of himself.

Tear smiled softly at him. "There is a saying, Florian: 'If wishes were wings, we all would fly.'"

Florian was baffled by Tear's words. "What does that mean?"

"Everyone has regrets, Florian," Tear explained, "and everyone has things that they wish were different. But no one can change the past. What's done is done, and we can only go on from where we are." She sighed. "I wish I had known that Ion was planning to sacrifice himself to remove the miasma from my body. That was why he went along with Mohs and Anise. He knew we would come to rescue him. He could have made a different choice, but... it was what he wanted to do."

"Oh... yeah, that was in the diary, too," Florian remembered. He clenched his fists. "Damn it!" he exploded, making Tear flinch. "Didn't Ion realize how much it would hurt Anise?!"

"He believed that he could be replaced," Tear replied sadly. "He said to Luke, 'There are plenty of replacements for me.' I'll never forget what Luke said in reply: 'You're the only Ion who went to the Cheagle Woods with me.'" An odd little smile appeared briefly on her lips. "Luke could be very blunt sometimes."

"Wow," said Florian, astonished. "Now I wish I could punch Ion right in the face. He thought he could be replaced?! Well, I don't want to be his replacement! I want to live my own life!"

Tear nodded. "Yes. That was what we fought for: to defeat Van and to free the world from the Score, so that everyone, original or replica, could live their own lives."

"That's what we're still fighting for... right, Tear?" said Florian. Determination swelled in his chest, driving out the anger. "We're going to finish what Luke started. We'll fix the passage rings and free the sentiences, so that the disasters will stop and everyone can live their own lives!"

Tear smiled at Florian. "Yes, Florian," she said in a choked whisper. "Yes."

Florian smiled back. He knew, now, what he wanted to do. I'm going to live my own life, he thought fiercely, and make my own choices. Once this journey is over, I won't return to Daath!