Hello everyone! :)
Readers have been teasing me in comments and messages that they don't believe I can finish this story at five chapters. What can I say, they (you) are right!
I don't even know if it's right for a story to drag on a bit, or it's better to say, to fill with the moments, scenes, some little things that touch the soul. But I have point, where I am going to bring our favourite couple.
So, the fifth chapter (it turned out to be longer than the previous ones), and the sixth should definitely be the last one.
Enjoy reading!:)
Chapter 5.
She walked through the misty darkness, faster and faster, quickening her pace. She could see nothing, only the clammy darkness and the mist that enveloped her.
Her heart was beating in a frantic rhythm, it seemed to be pounding in her ears, her breath was getting heavier with each step, her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead, her arms and legs seemed to disobey her, but she kept going.
She so desperately wanted to reach, she so desperately wanted to find... A faint spark, something flickering close to her, a flame of hope that echoed somewhere in her throat, bringing a sob of joy and finally taking her breath away.
"This is my home. It must be my home, I can feel it," she almost said to herself, trying to look around in the darkness but seeing nothing.
The sound of glass breaking underfoot, the creak of an old wooden door. She could feel her hands and voice shaking, "Mother... Mummy, are you here? Pa, I'm home..."
She could feel herself reaching out and repeating, "Mother. Mummy. Pa. I'm here, I'm here, it's me, Katie Scarlett... Where are you?"
She tried to look around, but there was only darkness and a terrifying sense of emptiness.
"There's no one here. There's no one. No one. No one. No. No. No. No. No," the thoughts beat in her heart, in her throat, causing more and more shortness of breath and despair.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," she whispered softly, sobbing, her cheeks were wet with tears, throwing herself onto the pillow, her palms clutching the sheets, her heart pounding wildly in her ears.
"No, no, no... " a wild whisper, a step forward and the feeling of falling into the abyss.
A shudder and suddenly strong arms were wrapped around her shoulders. They gave protection, they gave hope, she felt that she would not fall, that she would be saved. She felt...
"Scarlett, baby..." she heard a familiar low whisper. Whose was it...
"Open your eyes, baby, it's me... Scarlett..."
She didn't open her eyes, but her body relaxed trustingly in his strong arms. She felt him gently lift her from the pillow and wrap his arms around her back, giving her a sense of support and whispering, "Come on, baby, open your eyes... Scarlett... It's me..."
"You... Who are you..." the last thought that linked her to the nightmare flashed through her mind and she weakly opened her tear-stained eyes.
"Rhett... You're here..." he heard her soft whisper and took a deep breath of relief, pulling her to him.
"Yes, I'm here, I'm with you... It's okay, Scarlett, I'm here."
He held her close to his chest, she could hear the soft rhythm of his heart and slowly a sense of reality began to creep into her consciousness.
"Rhett..." she whispered softly again and he moved over gently, running his hand over her wet cheek and then whispering softly, "Come here, baby, come on," and without letting go of her, he sat down on the headboard of the bed and laid her on his chest. He held her tightly, stroking her hair reverently, and remained silent, giving her time to finally wake up. He had never seen her so weak, so frightened, and God only knew how hard it was for him not to whisper the confessions that were screaming from his chest.
Scarlett clung to him quietly, looking around the dark bedroom, lit only by the moonlight through the window, then her eyes fell on the dress she had worn the night before, and as she whispered the words, "You're here..." she remembered the events of the previous evening.
It had been four days since their extended honeymoon and since that kiss that had made Scarlett's knees tingle and her cheeks redden at the memory of it. They had spent all the evenings before that in their suite, Scarlett's only complained to her foot and the fact that it would be uncomfortable for her to dance. They just had dinner in the restaurant and went up to their room.
In fact, her foot had long since healed, but Scarlett was afraid to go to another party for two reasons - afraid that everyone would start talking about her and her husband behind her back again. She'd grown madly tired of being gossiped during her engagement to Rhett, and now they were married, but the gossip hadn't stopped. "If it's going to happen here, I'm afraid to think what's going to happen in Atlanta," she remembered angrily about all those matrons. And even though she wasn't a coward, and the money would give her the freedom to communicate with whomever she chose, it made her stomach clenge to think that every bedroom in Atlanta would be discussing their intimate life. "And if he visits that woman again, I'll be disgraced," she thought glumly as she watched her husband reading calmly the newspaper in the chair near the fireplace.
And even that realization wasn't the most important thing. Scarlett was afraid to admit that she was just very interested and enjoyed spending evenings with him.
They played cards, Rhett even taught her some tricks, and sometimes, when she was angry with him, he'd let her win. They talked about everything, and he told her funny or slightly scary stories, but sometimes they were touching, and Scarlett would look up at him with interest, and he would smile crookedly and cover it up with jokes, or just start teasing her, or even tickling her.
He used to brush her hair before bed, sitting in the armchair in front of the fireplace with her sitting on the ottoman in front of him. It was on one of those evenings that she had quietly confessed one of her terrible secrets to him, taking his oath that he wouldn't tell anyone. Rhett had laughed and offered to swear on his blood, as he'd done with his friends when he was a boy, but when he heard her indignant snort and then the quietly serious story of the Yankee deserter, his smile quickly disappeared from his face and his hands froze with the brush.
That night it seemed to Scarlett that he only held her closer to him as she fell asleep, and she herself was at peace with what she had told him.
It seemed to Scarlett that these evenings were like hiding from everyone, and that with each one she was getting closer to the answer to her main question, "What was her obnoxious husband hiding?
But when they met some acquaintances in the restaurant that morning at breakfast before their walk, they received an insistent invitation to a reception that evening, and with a glance they agreed.
That evening, Rhett himself helped her button her green silk dress, with its gold bodice and gold patterned skirt. She felt the touch of his warm fingers on her skin, and a shiver ran through her body that she silently prayed he wouldn't notice.
They hadn't slept together in the last few days since the incident that night (though Rhett had been with her every night before that), and if she hadn't paid much attention to it at first, after his passionate, "winning" kiss the following nights, she had begun to ask questions for which she still had no answers.
It was a pleasant evening, although Scarlett was afraid of being alone and hearing some 'spicy' details about her husband and their marriage. They danced a lot with Rhett, he was her best partner, but the best part was the comments he would whisper in her ear as they danced, leaning close to her, tickling her skin lightly with his moustache and smiling at her reaction when she tried not to laugh at a joke.
"Rhett, you're going to embarrass us," she told him reproachfully when they were done dancing. They sat down on a cushioned bench against the wall and Scarlett straightened her dress.
"Come on, Darling, come on, admit it, you're having fun," he whispered in her ear again, giggling like a boy.
She tried to stifle her giggles, but she couldn't and just said to him, trying to keep a serious tone, "Ugh, you're impossible, Rhett! Everyone's already staring at us..."
"Well, let them stare," he replied nonchalantly.
"But... But they might gossip about us," Scarlett said suddenly, lowering her voice.
Rhett looked at her seriously, then took her hand, kissed it and just said, "They'll always gossip, Scarlett. Just ignore them."
Trying to think about his words, she just nodded and said, "Get us a drink, please, Rhett. It's really hot."
He just nodded and stepped back saying, "I'll be right back, Darling..."
But five, then ten minutes passed and Scarlett realized she was sitting alone. A few times she was distracted by her new acquaintances and they tried to politely invite her to join them, but she only replied that she "was waiting for her husband."
After ten minutes of waiting, Scarlett got up and decided to walk along the wall looking for Rhett, and was surprised to see him chatting gallantly with a young lady, drinking champagne.
Scarlett's eyes narrowed slightly and her hands clenched into fists, but only for a moment. She had to hold her face.
Scarlett was not used to being second best, and she had never been without a gentleman at her side at a ball, so she resented the situation. She remembered what one of the men had said about Rhett having "a widow in every port" and it made her nervous. The last straw was the woman's personal gesture of reaching for Rhett's silk scarf and adjusting it slightly, but he just grinned. At that moment, Scarlett wanted to scratch the blonde's face and the scoundrel's, she called 'husband'.
But the means of revenge was found in the person of a young man, Robert, from the North, who had been complimenting her for a long time and now came up to her and asked, "Why are you alone, Mrs Butler? Where is your husband?"
Scarlett smiled brightly at him, held out her gloved hand and said, "Mr Blake, what a pleasant meeting. My husband must be busy and I'm bored," she continued with an innocent pout, adding with a twinkle in her eye, "Perhaps you would like to ask me to dance? I love this melody..."
She didn't have to ask twice for him and soon they were twirling in a dance, but in several minutes Scarlett felt her back getting hot. She could feel his gaze on her.
The dance was short and as soon as the last chords were played, Scarlett had barely had time to thank Robert, as etiquette dictated, when she felt a firm arm around her waist and a metallic voice saying, "Mr Blake, thank you for keeping my wife from getting bored," and without waiting for a reply, adding in a tone that required no objection, "Darling, I think we should get back to the hotel so your foot doesn't get hurt again."
Scarlett just hummed, then smiled at Robert, turned and headed straight for the exit.
The carriage was silent, very silent. Not a word was spoken as they drove to the hotel, but Scarlett could feel the tension in the air.
And just as they entered the room and the door closed behind them, she heard his sarcastic tone, "Have you danced enough, Mrs Butler?"
"Have you talked enough, Mr Butler?" was her curt reply, and before Rhett could say a word she added with disgust, "That was one of your..." she interrupted, and he looked at her angrily and said plainly, "Look, you weren't in my past and I don't have to explain myself to you!"
She looked at him indignantly and exclaimed quickly, "You! You! You left your wife alone, you don't know how to behave like a gentleman, how..." she cut her off when saw the anger in his face.
"Come on, finish your sentence, Mrs Butler! How the Honourable Ashley Wilkes?!"
"Don't remember him now! I'm here with you, and there are two of us! And he's part of my past too, by the way," she shouted back at him.
"And maybe the future? And you're probably anxious to get away soon, aren't you?" Rhett raised his voice too and threw his jacket on the couch.
"Shut up!"
"Darling, I remind you that you are free to make your own decisions!" he said suddenly, looking intently into her eyes and Scarlett became even more angry. "Who does he think he is?" she though, crossing her arms over her chest and looking into his black eyes, "If you're serious, I'll pack my things and leave in the morning!"
He looked at her intently and replied quietly, "Leave."
Scarlett opened her mouth in indignation, but Rhett was already in the bedroom, she heard him walk across the room and decided to go in too, but met him at the threshold. He had a pillow in his hands and threw it on the living room couch without looking at her.
Scarlett paced the room, seething with anger and indignation. She was the one who should have decided where her husband belonged! "And that rascal left our bed so easily!"
She angrily threw off her jewellery, her gloves. She fumbled with the dress for a long time, tugging at the fabric, finally ripping a few buttons at the back, but she threw it off. She managed the corset too, it was not tightly laced.
Soon she found herself in bed, lying defiantly in the middle of it, staring at the ceiling and thinking desperately. Yes, she would leave for Atlanta, she had some money with her, but what would she say there...?
"I'll lie that Captain Butler had an urgent business and I wanted to be with my children. I'll be able to convince everyone," she told herself, shaking with indignation. "And then..." she asked herself, not finding an answer.
Scarlett stared at the ceiling, trying to listen for sounds in the living room, but it was quiet. She felt lonely and it irritated her, as if some heavy memories were coming back to her mind.
Finally she fell asleep and woke up trembling, wet with tears, in her husband's strong arms.
"Rhett... You're here..." she repeated softly again, as if she couldn't believe he was there for her, that he'd come to her like this after their fight and her words about leaving.
He just hugged her shoulder tighter, ran his other hand through her tangled hair and whispered back, "Of course I'm here... With you."
Scarlett was silent, enjoying his touch, his embrace. His scent soothed her, she didn't feel alone. But she didn't know what to say, so she just sat next to him, clutching the corner of the blanket in her hands. She was so afraid that he would laugh at her, make jokes, that she feared the dream like a little girl. A hateful nightmare.
But Rhett only asked softly, "Was it a nightmare?"
She nodded.
"Are you afraid now?" was his next question, and his voice was caring, Scarlett felt no trace of a joke.
She shook her head negatively, she wasn't afraid with him.
"Have you ever had a dream like this before Honey?" his tone almost made her cry again, no one had ever shown her concern at a time like this before and Scarlett just nodded.
"Are you going to tell me, baby?" he asked again and she thought he was kissing her hair.
"I was just... I was just alone... I looked for my parents, for my house, and I think I found it, but there was no one there... I was alone again. Then you showed up. That's all," she tried to string together incoherent sentences into a story.
"You're not alone, baby. Scarlett, listen to me," he spoke seriously, stroking her hair, "you can be strong. And I've always liked that strength in you, I've been proud of you, Darling."
"You never told me that," she said incredulously, "back in the day, before we were married, I thought you either hated me or laughed at me."
"What are you... There was no such thing... Of course you're strong, would a weak girl be able to pull the whole family and relatives not only in Atlanta but in Charleston?"
She was silent and he continued, "But you don't have to be strong all the time now. You got married, Darling, I'll remind you. And," he grinned with some bitterness, "even though your husband is far from your ideal, you can be sure of one thing."
She looked up at him and he continued, "I'll look after you and the children, you won't go hungry again. If you like to work, then work, but it's not your responsibility. Scarlett, I am a grown man and I got married knowing that I would not only be responsible for myself but for you as well."
She sat there looking at him intently, not knowing what to say or how close she could let him get to her. How much she could open up to him without letting her guard down. "But he's opening up to me now," she thought.
Scarlett didn't know what to do - to thank him or try to make a joke, she must have been so embarrassed, but the darkness of the night helped her. It helped them.
She reached up, lightly touched her lips to his cheek and whispered, "Thank you."
Rhett gently touched her chin with his hand, leaned in and she felt his warm lips on hers, then on her cheeks, then on her lips again...
Rhett didn't realize how quickly the kiss went from gentle to one that made him hot and his light trousers tight. First he savoured the softness of her lips, then the salty taste of her cheeks, then her lips again, then he felt her close and her small hand on his chest. Then he didn't notice how he had deepened the kiss, his hand moved from her shoulder to her waist and she arched up to meet him, he could feel her breasts heaving.
He heard her whisper his name, but stopped suddenly, then kissed her gently on the forehead and just said, looking away, "Scarlett, let's try and get some sleep, shall we?"
She seemed to sigh in disappointment, but Rhett decided to stop believing only her sighs and his own guesses and just said quietly, "Lie lower on the pillow."
Scarlett suddenly looked up at him, he could see the moonlight in her eyes in the twilight, and asked softly, "Will you stay?"
"Of course," he replied just as quietly and then added, trying to make a joke, "that couch is extremely uncomfortable to sleep on. It's more like I'm punishing myself."
"Why did you leave in the first place?" she asked quietly, lying on her side and letting him hug her from behind as he often did.
"I was angry at you and not thinking straight," he replied, wrapping his arms around her waist but trying not to get too close.
"I was angry too. You left me alone and that woman..."
"My late business partner's widow," he finished the sentence quietly for her, "I've been to their house for couple times, we got to talking, I wanted to introduce you, but it was too late. You were dancing with another man, I got angry and felt like a fool."
They were silent, lying in the stillness of the night, both afraid to move. It was the first time they had been so open with each other that they did not know how they would look into each other's eyes in the morning.
Scarlett fell asleep without another word. The nightmare had taken its toll on her, but Rhett's strong arms helped her relax and his story about the woman calmed her.
Rhett lay awake for a long time, holding her in his arms, listening to her steady breathing and occasionally kissing her hair.
This night had been another revelation for him, and he was actually grateful for the nightmare, for it had given him the chance to see her for who she really was. Her weakness. It had given them the chance to talk. It had given them the chance to wake up in the same bed in the morning.
The only thing he'd ever tried to control was their intimacy, or rather the lack of it, since that first her sigh. Rhett didn't really understand why he acted the way he did.
He didn't realize, how he was sleeping with her for the fifth night and could control himself, but he also felt that the further he moved away, the closer she came to him, like a moth to a flame. Rhett didn't know how it would finish, but intuitively he continued this voluntary abstinence, even though every night and every morning he wanted to send everything to hell and take her passionately, without hiding his feelings.
But not understanding all her motives, not understanding why she decided to prolong their honeymoon, he decided that it was not yet time.
"I will find a way to find out what my stubborn little wife is up to," he thought again, and then he moved close to her, smiling, kissing her hair and falling soundly asleep.