Demoman returned to the base one morning, when his teammates least expected him, all soaked in some purple liquid.
"I've crossed half the bloody universe looking for Scout, beating every bloody alien race to a pulp...No sings of him!" The first thing he probably did back to Earth was getting drunk, for he started bawling, and reeked of alcohol.
The rest hadn't been any luckier. Soldier had finally accepted, after some long four days, that the BLU team, without their heads, could not have taken Scout away. Sniper had returned from Boston the previous day assuring that none of the people Scout could have aggravated in the past had seen him in years; some even tried to beat him in his place, to send him the message that if they ever crossed paths again...Engineer and Medic had analysed the clothes and objects Scout had left behind, finding no trace of DNA from another person. Heavy and Pyro searched the whole county, returning with nothing to report, except for a few towns mysteriously burning to the ground. No idea of what Spy did, but no one saw him in days and he returned empty-handed and very silent.
Engineer let out a long sigh and rose his eyes at the ceiling. "Where are you, kid...?", he muttered.
From the ground, a little hare looked at each one of them. Being honest, their sadness over his disappearance made him quite happy, because that meant they cared, just a little, but also pretty sad.
«Hey, come on, drop those long faces, I'm alive! I'm here!»
Once again, he tried to make them see that they didn't need to fear for his life, attracting their attention, only receiving disdain and a few distracted strokes from Engineer and Demoman. Sniper turned his eyes to the rodent which was going around, patting everybody's feet with his paw.
"Is that thing still alive?"
"Huuhhuuu!" Pyro was quick to forget that Scout was missing and wanted to grab him, making Scout cringe. Spy prevented it.
"Leave him alone, you're going to hurt him." To which Pyro protested, inflating her cheeks under her mask like a little child.
Spy and Scout exchanged a glance. Spy had told him something the day before he didn't understand, but it probably meant that he was allowed to get out of the smoking room and wander. Perhaps he considered that having no freedom of movement wasn't good for him, the proof being that he had escaped the other day. Which was thoughtful of him. Scout was starting to feel he was going mad, being trapped in such a small crate.
"Oh, come on, Spy, don't tell me you've become fond of him." Sniper frowned.
Spy looked around him and saw that Medic was looking at him with a fine, mocking smile. Yes, he supposed that was not like him at all. He had no shame in admitting he disliked most animals and wanted them away from his furniture and suits. He had barely tolerated Medic's doves to that day.
"I just think it is an impressively intelligent specimen that deserves to live." He explained, keeping a straight face.
"He is smart, the little son of a bitch. Look, he even looks as if he's understanding everything we're saying." Demoman pointed at the hare.
«Yeah, queer, ain't it?»
"This platoon could use a mascot. Since the bread monster tried to kill us all the time." Soldier said, grabbing Scout to caress him in such a rough way he jumped off his arms as soon as he could and hid behind Spy. "We could name him Red!"
"Or we could give him some use and train him to follow Scout's trail." Sniper said, glancing at Scout with despise before looking at his teammates. "Any other ideas?"
Silence.
"We will find Scout, wherever he is." Heavy said.
"Yeah. I'll go to Heaven or Hell if it's needed, but I'll come back with him!" Demoman joined him.
"We leave no man behind!" Soldier declared, swelling his chest.
"Yeah, there must be somewhere we didn't look, someone we've overlooked." Engineer nodded. "He couldn't have disintegrated."
"Or could he? I think it is not impossible to erase the flesh and leave the clothes intact!" Medic rose a finger to point out.
«Wow, you guys are gonna make me cry...of how stupid you are! Can't you see I'm right over here?!»
They seemed to be serious about going to whatever lengths to find him...He couldn't give up, either. They were going to get in trouble and even risk their lives for nothing.
The team split again to think in private and Scout, alone, sat on the floor, pensive.
«Okay. So, magic did this to me. What do I know about magic? Nothing, except all kinds of magical creatures've tried to steal my soul every Halloween for a few years now and it doesn't work like in fairy tales...Well, the true love kiss not working doesn't mean nothing will. Hmm...What else happened in fairy tales? Bullshit, like talking birds and...Wait...Talking...Hey! I can't talk to people, but animal can talk to each other?»
Because if he could talk to animals...He could get some help!
He had nothing to lose by trying it. He left the hall and ran to the infirmary. Luckily, the door was still open, because Medic was not doing anything special, just walking around the room, talking to himself under his breath, surely considering the disintegrating thing very seriously from the scientific point of view. He didn't even notice Scout walking in and heading towards the operating table, where three of his doves, Archimedes included, were perched.
The team could ignore him, but not Archimedes.
«Hey! Archimedes, hey! Hey! I'm Scout! The guy in whose chest you like to make your nest? Can you hear me? Can you understand what I'm saying?»
That was what he intended to say, but it sounded more like a series of squeaks. The birds tilted their heads, flapped their wings a little, looked at him with curiosity, but gave no response. Or perhaps they did answer him and the problem was that Scout didn't speak Dovish.
"Hey, you, get out of here!" Medic, on the other hand, heard him and tried to get him out by pushing him with the foot.
But Scout's brain had tried that thing they called thinking and was starting to take a liking to it. That made him fix his eyes on something hanging near the doves. A bag with blood; he didn't get to read whose. Not that it mattered. He had gotten an idea.
"Eh!" Medic exclaimed when the hare jumped over his foot and ran towards the stand the bag was hanging from. With a headbutt, he knocked it off, then grabbed the bag from the floor with with teeth.
"Give that back! Raus, raus!" Medic was shouting, chasing him all around the room. However, the hare not only didn't stop, but looked at him into the eyes and sank his front teeth into the bag, so he could rip it open.
«Blergh!» Scout fought the retches he was getting and soaked his paws with the blood.
"That's it! I'm dismembering you and sewing your ears in your owner, since he can't control you!" Medic threatened aloud.
He grabbed his bonesaw from a table, ready to fulfill his threat in that precise moment, but stopped. His anger vanished quickly when he found sense in the trace the rabbit was leaving all over the floor tiles with the blood on his paws.
C...O...U...
Not taking his eyes off of it, walking backwards, he left the infirmary and ran around the base, in search of his teammates.
"Uh...I think all of you should see this..."
They followed Medic, asking him what the matter was, because that face, in someone who was not easy to impress, could mean nothing good. Medic didn't reply. He was serious about them needing to see it by themselves.
As soon as they stepped into the infirmary, they became frozen, all of them.
Pyro tilted her head till her ear touched her shoulder. Engineer removed his googles, lips parted. So did Sniper, taking off his sunglasses, muttering a profanity. Demoman thought for a second that what he was seeing was a product of an excessive alcohol consumption, until he looked around him and saw that the others were as shocked as he was. Spy's cigarette hanged from his lips for a few seconds before falling to the floor. Heavy's eyebrows furrowed while his eyes opened wide.
SCOUT HERE
Scout underlined the words written with blood on the floor and sat to look at each one of them at the face.
"My God..." Soldier broke the dead silence. "The rabbit knows where Scout is!"
"Urgh! No, Soldier! The rabbit is Scout!" Sniper replied.
Soldier looked at the message, then at the hare, back at the message, back at the hare...
"Scout!" He finally gasped.
They all could swear that the animal grinned.