Engineer left the electric razor aside and removed a few balls of hairs in the way. And it appeared for everyone to see: a Sex Bom tattoo.

Medic muttered something in his language, not taking his eyes off of Scout, not blinking at all. Scout looked around him, in case he needed to ask for help.

"It's you...It's really you..." Engineer shook his head, like it was impossible for him to believe, and looked at Scout once again. "Nod if you are."

The hare in front of him nodded without hesitation. Engineer was a scientist, he had to accept all the evidences: the animal on the table was Scout.

"That means..." Sniper let out a groan, while covering his face with a hand, then leaned forward so he could talk to Scout closely. "Ah, bugger...Look, about the other day...I'm sorry, okay? I-I didn't know it was you, really—Ow!"

Scout had bitten him in the nose.

"Guess I deserve that." Was all Sniper said, to which Scout nodded again.

"The lad's a rabbit...The lad's a rabbit..." Demoman, sat in a corner, drank from the bottle while repeating that like a broken record. At that moment, he turned his eye at Scout and seemed to wake up. "Why the bloody hell are you a rabbit?"

How could he explain? He would need another blood bag.

"Wait." Engineer left the room and returned with a computer terminal, which he quickly installed, then offered him the keyboard.

The keys were a little too small for Scout's paw, but they could still make sense from the words he typed.

MERASMUS

"Sure, who else!" Demoman exclaimed.

They all left the room to grab their weapons. There was no need to say what would happen next.

"We'll take care of this, you stay here." Sniper told Scout.

Scout shook his head and thumped.

"What do you intend to do? You can't hold a weapon!"

As a response, Scout opened his mouth and snapped his teeth closed several times. Sniper smirked.

"Yeah, guess you can go for the toes."

He ruffled his head and left, both of them smiling.

Scout looked around, at the now empty room, and his smile faded. There was one he hadn't seen in a long while...

He found him outside, leaning against a wall, lost in thought. Though he had a cigarette in hand, it wasn't lit. Spy turned his eyes at him when he approached, just a few seconds, before averting them quickly.

«Don't worry, Spy, I'll act like none of what happened inside of your private space ever happened.»

Whatever he was thinking, Spy was quick to bury it deep down.

"...It was Merasmus, wasn't it?" He asked, confirming that he had disappeared shortly after his reveal. Scout nodded. "We forgot about him...Big mistake..." He was silent again for a long while, then looked back at him. "As much as I prefer you like this, that you can't talk, we need to return you to normal before the old woman knows about this and can send someone to dispose of you. Because I'm sorry to say that you are adorable but completely useless."

«Yeah, I hadn't thought of that...»

"...I suppose you're coming."

«You bet! I'm giving Merasmus the beating of his life!», Scout nodded, standing on his hind legs to kick the air with his front paws.

Spy nodded slightly.

"Well, I can't prevent you from doing that. You've shown that you are twice as slippery as a hare."

He threw the cigarette away, even if it was untouched, and was about to enter the base. He stopped. Scout thought he was going to say something. Frankly, it seemed like Spy himself thought that, too. But, in the end, he said nothing and simply left the door open a little bit for him to enter and ready, like the others.

Merasmus' life wasn't easy. Thanks to Soldier, he had lost his castle. He owed too much money to the Japanese mafia to be able to get himself a new house. They had kicked him out of that storage box because apparently there were clauses about not living inside of the units and the Bombinomicon counted as a pet. He had found this sleazy boarding house they would kick him out of the very second they found out the treasure he had promised them wasn't real. He couldn't relax and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. But that night he decided it was time to pamper himself a little. He deserved it. The shower he had taken had been freezing cold, but he had used this strawberry-scented soap he had bought at the convenience store down the lane and they had Little Women on the television. He would forget about his sad life for a while, just a while.

He walked out of the bathroom with only the bathrobe on and a towel wrapped around his head and turned on the television. Someone knocked at the door right when his behind was grazing the bed.

"Room service."

"Ah, just in time!" Merasmus smiled as he went to open the door. "Nothing better than a good snack while I—Wait a second..."

The door burst open, sending him to the ground in a very awkward posture which prevented the bathrobe from covering what it needed to cover. Scout hopped on his chest and glared at him with as much fury as a hare could inspire.

"You!" Merasmus exclaimed, seeing him.

"Merasmus! We came to beat you to a pulp!" Announced Soldier, carrying his rocket launcher on a shoulder.

"You did this; you're fixing it." Heavy pointed at Scout.

"Wait...Merasmus..." The wizard babbled.

Demoman was not willing to hear any excuses. He grabbed Merasmus from the collar, forcing him up, and shot him a piercing stare.

"It's for today!"

"Merasmus...Merasmus would, but..."

"But what?!"

"It's just that Merasmus can't revert it!"

"Liar!"

"Demo, Demo, calm down. Let me do this." Soldier softly pushed Demoman aside, so he could grab Merasmus himself and shake him like he was a maraca. "Enough with the bullcrap, Merasmus, and make him human again!"

"Merasmus is telling the truth, he doesn't know how to do it!" Merasmus nervously looked around him, to the other mercenaries who seemed a little more willing to listen, or at least weren't pushing him around. "I know how to curse people but the point is ruining the receiver's life, so there is no counter spell, and if there is, Merasmus has no idea of what it is!"

"There could be no cure?" Engineer exclaimed.

He turned his eyes to Scout, and saw his ears dropping, receiving the news like a blow. He looked back at Merasmus.

"Think well. There must be something."

"Who knows? Uh...Have you tried a true love's kiss?" Merasmus asked.

"Look at him, Merasmus, who could love something so pathetic and wimp?" Soldier replied, making Scout look at him with an offended expression.

"Then I can think of nothing else!"

"He's lying. Let's give him a good one, and see if that makes his mind get to work." Demoman cup his fist on his other hand. Pyro, by his side, let out a high-pitched groan, the tip of her flamethrower pointing at Merasmus' face...

The old man nervously looked around him. Yes, he could expect no mercy...His situation was pretty dire...

"I'm...I'm sorry!" He exclaimed.

And there was a flash of green which blinded them all. When it disappeared, Merasmus was gone.

"Wh—!"

"Where did he go?"

"There!"

He hadn't gone too far. He was at the door, trying to open it without making noise. Seeing that he had been caught, he decided to just run away.

"Don't let him escape!"

Scout had always been the fastest, and now that he was a hare, he was even more. He grabbed Merasmus by biting the back of his bathrobe and struggling to make him stop.

"Leave me alone! Leave me alone!"

A bullet grazed his nose. Spy was shooting at him.

Merasmus extended his arms and a dark portal appeared in front of him. Merasmus crossed it with Scout still hanging from his robe. Spy barely had enough time to cross it before it disappeared in a flash of light—Soldier, which was just a step behind, was left out.

"Son of a bitch!" He exclaimed out of frustration, looking around him, though they were gone, somewhere they couldn't follow...

It was so cold and dark it seemed like they were very deep into the Earth, or somewhere out of God's reach. Only some crystals glowing around with a bright green light helped see where they were, though there wasn't much to see: rocks, cracked soil, and nothing else.

Merasmus could finally grab Scout by the head and toss him away. He extended his arms and his robe was replaced by his usual black tunic, skullhat and staff.

"So you didn't die, huh? You're tougher to kill than I thought. But it's alright. Merasmus will fix his mistake right now..."

He pointed his staff at him and Scout barely had a mili-second to move out of the way before his magic destroyed him. He ran around, while Merasmus shot at him.

There was suddenly a bang, and Merasmus jumped, the staff knocked from his hand. Spy, behind him, was shooting at him.

"I will get to you later, first the annoying rabbit!" Merasmus roared, and rolled a bomb at his feet.

The explosion sent Spy flying.

«Spy!» Scout wanted to run to see if he was alright, but unwillingly gave Merasmus the chance to get him. He recovered his staff and hit him with it in the spine, making him squeal out of pain. Another blow and Scout rolled some meters away, feeling an intense pain which prevented him from getting up. He could only see Merasmus approaching. Not that he looked big from his perspective: he was actually turning massive, and he would crush him under his foot...

More gunshots. With one hand, Spy was holding his stomach, and with the other he had recovered his revolver and was shooting at Merasmus. One of the shots broke one of the horns of his hat.

Merasmus hesitated. It seemed evident that Scout couldn't move, so he decided to change his plans and take Spy out first.

"I have learned the lesson. I will not turn you into an animal, too. You, I am killing you right now..."

And it seemed that was precisely what he was going to do. Merasmus wasn't too bad to deal with when it was the nine of them, but him alone, because Scout didn't count...Spy quickly considered his options and had to admit that things looked pretty grim for them. They were somewhere the team couldn't come. He was wounded and could barely move. Merasmus walked towards him implacable, inevitable...

Scout tried to force himself to get up and help, but a sharp pain sent him back on his stomach.

Spy turned his eyes at him, then at Merasmus.

Ah, damn it all...Since it seemed they had no chance of surviving, he would die fighting his best.

He ignored the pain which made it difficult to move. Feeling his inside ripping with these movements, Spy jumped out of Merasmus' way, not before stabbing him in the chest and ripping. Merasmus let out a gasp, returned to his usual size and held his chest. His robe was too dark to see the blood, but it was starting to drip. He tried to turn around, but before he could do that, Spy stabbed him in the back of the neck.

There was a long, ear-piercing howl, and Merasmus convulsed in the air while shaking his arms desperately, trying to get the butterfly knife off of him.

"CURSE YOUUUUUUUUUU!" He shouted, before he disappeared.

Silence followed.

He would be back. Spy never once thought he had managed to kill him.

He looked for Scout around him before his vision became blurry and fell on his knees.