Blake Xiao Long
"How is she?" Blake skipped the welcome home that was no doubt the standard, right now that wasn't a priority. Questions upon questions burned in her mind, endless curiosities that demanded to be satiated held back only by her will. "Is she healthy? Smiling?" Some managed to leak out regardless.
Yang sighed. It wasn't that the questions were frustrating, rather it seemed she didn't know how to properly answer them. "I don't know." The most honest answer she could give, even if it was one neither of them liked. "Things are... Normal...?" What even was normal anymore? Their daughter had come back from the dead, and they were just continuing on as if the last fifty years had never happened. 'Normal' felt wrong. Ruby still filled that missing place in their lives, but that wound had begun to close overtime. Her return had forced it back open.
"I want to say that's a good thing..." It was, wasn't it? "But I just can't. Ruby is back and yet... We're just pretending nothing is wrong? We're just pretending that nothing has happened?" Giving her time to adjust, time to heal... It made sense after all that had happened. But when were they supposed to stop waiting? Ruby was back, yet they were still waiting for her. It had been Weiss' decision to do things this way... Well, she was the one that officially said it after everyone else started regardless. Blake was doing her best to not blame her.
Not looking into Blake's eyes, Yang whispered, "It's like she's a ticking time bomb... I... I'm scared of who's going to be there when it goes off." That was what Weiss was doing, most likely. Making sure that she was the one that took the brunt of it. "Ruby is there... But it's more strange than it is comforting. My sister is dead... My daughter is dead... That's The World I've lived in all this time... How do I stop?"
There was no guide on how to handle this, no right way to go about it. Whatever everyone chose to do was their own decision, even if Weiss had given them a way out of choosing. Of everyone, she seemed to be the strongest; Blake had no clue how she could hold herself together this well.
Turning away from the door, the both of them began to walk through the foyer. "How are the kids?" Blake asked before long.
Almost smiling, Yang shrugged and muttered, "Doing as good as you can expect. Argus is just happy more than anything to have her back... Or maybe he's just hiding the pain better than Weiss... And Summer... Well..." Silence followed for a moment. "It's not exactly simple... This situation. But I think she's doing the best she can to meet Ruby halfway. Or... As far as she can manage."
"She's braver than most of us..." Blake couldn't imagine what she was going through... She could scarcely imagine seeing her own parents again. What would they say? What would they do? Blake had rejected her role in life, she had rejected the prophecy; yet fulfilled it anyway. Would they be disappointed? Maybe just glad that she had done her duty even accidentally? What would they think of Yang? What would they think of their kids? "... Would they even care about any of them besides Sun...?" Faunas certainly did have their favourites.
Stopping for a moment, Blake frowned as her mind wandered. She thought of Menagerie, of the man that her son was named after... And of that night. Glancing at Yang's prosthetic, Blake's frown grew. If Adam had gotten a hold of any of her other children... What would he have done to them? Sun was spared only because he was a Faunas, there wasn't a doubt about that in her mind. Her thoughts then drifted to Ilia earlier that night... Of the way she spoke of her children.
Shame about Celica though.
The disappointment in her voice still rung through Blake's ears. Ilia had taken one look at Celica and decided that she was the one the prophecy spoke of... And it was the worst thing imaginable that she wasn't a Faunas. They had grown up hearing about the cursed lands outside of Menagerie, of the kingdoms ruled by people with cursed names. It was the stories they had heard before bed, the stories they heard when they wished for legends or grand epics. Asbeel the saviour, the one whose words promised salvation for all, even those outside of Menagerie.
Blake couldn't help but think it was all a bunch of shit now. She loved her children. She loved Celica, Sun, Jasper, and Ruby. Blake wouldn't trade them for anything, especially not some promise of something better. There was no better. She had wanted her family; they were here with her now. Nothing else was needed. That night, it lived in her mind constantly, it was when she had realised that she was still holding on to her old life when the one she wanted was passing by. If she had realised sooner, if she had stopped believing in those fairy tales before that night... Would Yang still have her arm?
It was the same trap Ozma had fallen into, wasn't it? The promise of something better, the allure of it so strong that you fail to enjoy what you have... Well... There was a difference. He had lost everything; Only then did The World promise to give him a better version of it. But... How? What happy ending awaited him after all of this? What happy ending could await him after all of this?
Shaking her head of these thoughts, Blake went to speak, but another voice spoke first. "You're back." Turning to the top of the stairs, both parents set their sights on Celica. "Did you talk to Aunt Ruby about what I asked?" This again...
"Celica..." Blake sighed gently, but she kept her mouth shut as Yang spoke.
"It isn't time yet." It hadn't even been a week. "Ruby needs time to... Adjust." The nice word for it, though Blake wasn't sure what other word could describe it. "I'll talk to her, I promise."
Glancing briefly at Blake, Celica sighed out, "I understand wanting to give her time, but you can't seem to decide if everything is alright or if everything's wrong." Walking down the stairs now, she continued, "Either she's fine or she isn't. In that case, just tell me she isn't and I'll stop pestering you about this." It was clear in her voice, the tinge of offence. Yang and Blake had been a bit dismissive this last week, but could they really be blamed for acting weird right now?
"You're not pestering us-" Blake started, only for Celica to cut her off.
"Aren't I?" Now at the bottom of the steps and standing with arms folded, her voice raised to almost a yell. "Sorry if mortality is such a boring and annoying subject to you both, but in case you've forgotten, your actual children still have that problem." Jasper and Celica were both still Hellhounds, and Sun was still a Faunas. Celica was clear in her want to change that; she wanted to be a Dragon like them. "Or are my worries not important?"
Stepping forward, Blake frowned and tried to sound more assertive. Celica's worries were valid, but she was still stepping out of line. "Your worries are important, but so are ours. It's not our choice, it's never been our choice. Weiss or Ruby herself has to decide to want to make you a Dragon-"
"You acting like you didn't just ask her?" Once again, Celica had cut her off. It was starting to get on Blake's nerves. "There was never even a question about whether or not she would say yes, and you knew that."
Yang was remaining silent; Blake was facing her daughter down and actually getting angry now. "Because both Ruby and Weiss had already expressed the want to make me one!" Celica had been first to raise her voice, Blake was the first to yell. "Are you even thinking about your brothers right now!? What do they want? You're saying that this is for all three of you, but does Jasper want to become a Dragon!? Does Sun want to-"
"Not be a Faunas anymore?" Cut off once more, but this time it struck a chord in Blake. She remained silent as Celica spoke. "That's still more important to you than anything else, isn't it? Even if you aren't one anymore; you still walk around in your mastery form to try and pretend you are." How could she deny that? Her horns were poking out from her hair as they spoke. "Aren't I more important than being a Faunas? Isn't Jasper or Sun? Isn't Mum!?" Blake didn't even dare to glance back at Yang right now, no doubt the expression would only hurt her. "Is it so weird to imagine that not everyone cares so much about what they are!? Why are Faunas more important than any other species? Oh, wait; They're not!"
Blake wanted to say something, she wanted to cut in and dispute... But why? She agreed with all of Celica's points, she knew that her daughter was right... So why did she want to disagree regardless of that? Was there still some part of her that longed to be a Faunas again? Even if there was, she would keep her lips sealed... This clearly wasn't a spur of the moment vent; this had been building inside Celica for a while.
"You treated Sun better than me and Jasper because of what he is!" Blake begged in her mind, hoped beyond hope that that wasn't true. "You hid your past from everyone because you didn't want to spill their secrets!" No, it was because she was ashamed of herself. Ashamed of the fact that she abandoned her family... Her mission. "You let a criminal into our home! You let her wander around and do as she pleased!" Illia. "YOU LET THEM TAKE MUM'S ARM!"
"ENOUGH!" Yang's voice jolted both Celica and Blake out of their lock, they jumped slightly from the sudden yell. "Celica, go to your room."
Frowning, she said, "I'm an adult-"
"Now!" Yang didn't let her finish; her voice was assertive and unbending. Even if her eyes weren't stuck in a constant crimson state, they would definitely still be red right now. Begrudgingly, Celica turned and made her ways up the steps again, hurrying away into the hall and no doubt heading straight for her room. Silence followed for a moment, both of them waiting before they heard the slam of a door. Waiting again for a bit longer, Blake turned to Yang with sorrow. "It wasn't your fault, Blake." Of course, Yang was instantly trying to make her feel better.
"It was." Blake moved closer, reaching a hand out and gently grabbing Yang's hand, her prosthetic. "This is my fault... You should have never been anywhere near him. If I didn't let Illia in... If I had told you right away who she was and arrested her we could have-"
"This? Nah." Yang shrugged her shoulders. "This is my fault for trying to fight a Harbinger." At first, Yang had been silent whenever her arm was brought up, then she eventually began to talk about it softly... Now adays, she joked about it, often saying how stupid she was for trying to attack Adam in the first place. "Honestly, what kind of-"
Reaching up, Blake cupped both her cheeks. "Yang!" She stared deep into her eyes. "This wasn't your fault. This was my fault. Please... Just blame me. Blame someone, anyone that isn't yourself." There was no end to the list of regrets and tragedies that Yang blamed herself for, every new one was just another on the pile. Those that weighed the heaviest were constantly eating away at her; Blake would do anything to take those away. The pain of her mother leaving... The guilt of Sun dying to save her... The loss of her arm... And Ruby's 'death'. None of them were her fault... But if things like that happen for long enough, eventually anyone would begin to blame themselves no matter how selfish they were.
And Yang was far from selfish. "I can't." It wasn't a sad voice that she spoke with, it was a cool and calm acceptance. A melancholic breeze rather than an emotional wind. "I can handle it. I can handle all of it." Reaching up, Yang cupped Blake's cheeks too. "So, I don't want anyone else to bare the weight. I want to take it all so you can rest easy-"
"I can't." Blake shook her head. "I can't rest, not knowing that you're like this." How many decades had she hated seeing this? How long had she despised hearing Yang's dismissal of herself? Any attempts to help were met with such a swift denial that it made Weiss envious... Blake could only talk about this when given the right chance. She had always failed before. This time... She had to succeed.
"Don't worry about me... Ok?" As if it were that simple.
"You're the love of my life, what makes you think I can do that?" There were unspoken words. Thoughts, feelings, frustrations, they were all dancing behind Yang's eyes yet she refused to let any of them out. "I've been too weak to help you. I won't let it go on any longer." Yang was a master at hiding her pain, better than any Schnee could ever be at hiding anything. If she didn't want to show it, Blake would have never known. Some part of her wanted Blake's help. It was just being drowned out.
Shaking her head, Yang insisted, "You're not weak." Yet again, she was trying to deflect by consoling Blake. But also, once more, Blake saw the flicker of something unsaid in Yang's eyes.
"What aren't you saying...?" Blake's gentle whisper was followed by her wings suddenly sprouting. Shock was what let Blake push Yang down, she made her sit on her knees and held her tight keeping her trapped in her warmth and wrapped in her wings. She leaned down, keeping Yang's head against her chest. "Tell me. Tell me everything. I want to hear all of it... I want to make it better." If Yang didn't want to let it out, Blake just had to do her best to listen to the one part of her that did.
Struggling momentarily, Yang looked up into Blake's eyes with a soft frown. "Blake, come on, let me go." There was something more there, a clear sign of discomfort, a flicker of pain. "I'm serious..."
"So am I." Blake refused to entertain the idea of letting her go. Neither of them were leaving this spot till she got what she wanted. "I've been a horrible wife, a horrible partner... A horrible mother too. I need to make things right... I need to make things better." Maybe she could coax out the truth by abusing Yang's need to console her. "Answer me, Yang. Tell me something, anything. I want to hear everything." Had she been a coward? Was that it? Was that what had kept her from pushing and revealing the pain locked away in Yang's heart? Or had she just been blind?
Finally, there was a difference, a change in her voice. "... That's not something anyone wants to hear." The vulnerability Blake had been looking for was revealed as quickly as it shut itself away. Yang had realised her mistake and quickly slapped on a smile as she tried her best to escape once again. "Blake, seriously, I'm fine." It's like she had two different personalities, the one that had remained hidden all this time was finally clawing at a chance for control. While she did struggle, she didn't transform or use any Magic. After all, if she did, that would basically be admitting that she was in fact not fine.
"I want to hear it." She ignored the lies. "I want to hear all of it; How many times do I need to say it?" Blake would say it as many times as it took. "How could I let things get this bad? How could I just ignore this for so long and not do anything about it?" She would have been ashamed of herself for ignoring something even a fraction of this... "... Celica was right. This is my fault." Tears welled in her eyes as she leaned down to look into Yang's own eyes closer. "I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry Yang... Please... Let me in. I promise... You don't have to handle it alone anymore." Was that not what marriage was? Had she not broken their original promise by failing to help her before now?
"You... You don't have anything to be sorry for..." Yang couldn't even keep up the persona anymore. Pretending wasn't an option, and her denial was slowly failing her. "I... I'm fine... I..." Words failed her too; Blake was slowly winning. "... I... I'm... Not... I'm not... Fine..." Admitting that was the first step, and Blake refused to let her stop walking now.
Wrapping her arms around Yang's neck, Blake leaned down and nodded, rubbing her cheek against her wife's head. "I know... Just like that... Tell me." Her voice was soft, a gentle coaxing to try and pull more on that brief glimpse of what lay locked deep inside where no one was allowed to go. "I want to make it better." The whisper was as sweet as she could make it, she recalled all her motherly experience to make it as perfect as could be.
They sat there for a while, Blake whispering sweetly and gently stroking Yang while she tried her best to say what she wanted yet refused to put into words. Sputtering, failings of a mumble, nothing came out of her mouth that resembled words for at least ten minutes. Yang couldn't say it, it was maybe the hardest thing she could say. But... There was another way she could share. "... It hurts..." Her lips never moved, but Blake heard the voice speaking into her mind regardless. "... It hurts... Knowing I'm not strong enough... Not good enough..."
A gentle smile curled over Blake's lips, but she didn't say anything save for gentle encouragements to keep going. "... My mum left before I even knew her... Even that small was I really that much of a disappointment...?" There was a gentle shudder across her body as tears began to leak from her eyes. "... I... I don't know what it feels like to be loved... Is this it? Is that how you feel...? Then why does it feel like you care more about them than me-" Yang's voice cut off too late, the telepathy ending as she tried to silence herself. That was further than Blake had thought she'd go, but it was exactly what she was looking for.
"That's it..." She gently whispered. "Blame me, Yang."
"But...!" Looking up at her, Yang spoke with her voice now. "It's not your-!"
"-Fault? Maybe... Maybe not. But it doesn't matter." Leaning in, Blake felt a bit guilty about enjoying the blush on Yang's face. "Either way, how you feel is valid. It's more than valid. I want to hear every thought, every fear, every want and need." How many years ago was it now that she had proudly declared that she chose her family over faunas? How many years had she lived with that lie? It ended now, it had to end now. "I've loved you for so long, and part of that has always been because you make me feel happy that I'm myself... It's pathetic of me, that I've failed to return the same."
Yang's eyes averted, she was so embarrassed, so hesitant and meek. Even after so long together, Blake was seeing a new side of her; and she felt more regret than anything that she had taken so long to find it. "... I'm not that great..."
"Lies." She whispered softly. "You're amazing, Yang. You've always put a smile on my face, on our kid's faces. I wake up every day knowing how amazing you are, and feeling giddy that you're mine." Blake could always proudly say that she was Yang's wife, there was never a moment she would feel anything but joy about that. "I love your dumb jokes. I love how confident you are, how unapologetically yourself you are."
"... I'm failing at that now, aren't I?"
"You're hurting, Yang." She sprinkled a few kisses over her face. "And it's my fault." Before Yang could say anything, Blake covered her lips with a finger. "What would I have if not for you? My life would be nothing if not for what you gave me. It's far past time that I repay as much of that as I can." Her life, her friends, her children, all the joy she had could trace back to her wife. The Faunas, the White Fang had led her to Sun, and Sun had led her to Vale... But finding Yang was what truly began her life proper.
Slowly unwrapping her wings and standing up, Blake drew Yang along with her. "Come on." Guiding her, they slowly made their way up the stairs and to their room. Inside, their movements were slow as Blake helped Yang get undressed. It was intimate, Blake was caring for her, doing her best to make Yang feel comfortable and warm at all times. Yang wasn't used to it; she wasn't used to being pampered like this because she had always avoided it. It wasn't as if Blake had never tried to make her feel this way, but all attempts were swiftly ended. This time, however, she would be getting her way. The doors were pried open, Yang was letting her in and it felt good in a way that Blake hadn't expected.
When they actually climbed into bed, Blake was still gently stroking her hair and softly humming. It really was closer to motherly affection than she had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't the strangest thing they had ever done. Besides, Yang was clearly enjoying it; A soft blush and gentle smile constantly on her face.
Eventually, when they did speak, it wasn't about how Yang felt. That would come later; The door was open now, but too much at once would do more harm than good. "... You know... Today I teased Ruby for having mummy issues..." Yang's gentle joke left her with a chuckle.
Blake meanwhile simply nodded. "Oh sure, you both do." It wasn't exactly hard to see why. Ruby had needed care nearly her whole life, Yang on the other hand had always wanted that gentle hand that she couldn't admit she craved. "Do you want to talk about her?"
"About Ruby...?" Yang's question was quiet, but they both knew Blake wasn't talking about Ruby. Eventually, she relented. "... I don't even know how I feel about her... Who knows... Maybe things would have been worse if she stayed... Maybe she would have been a terrible mother..."
"... Raven..." Blake had very particular thoughts when it came to Yang's mother. There was a venom deep in her Soul for that woman and her alone. But the mystery surrounding her situation and what exactly happened had always left a backdoor in Blake's heart. What was the truth of it? Did it even matter? Continuing to stroke Yang's head, Blake shook her own gently. "It doesn't matter... Even if Raven had stayed... We may never have met..." Despite the selfishness of it, Blake preferred this reality to that possible one. It wasn't as bad as it could be since their children's lives were dependent on them ending up together... But...
"I am a horrible person... But this family is mine. I won't do any harm to them anymore, just as I won't allow anyone else to bring them harm." If it came down to it, she would kill Raven herself if need be. Blake was a trained assassin; she had broken into Schnee castles more than anyone else on Remnant. If she wanted someone dead, they would die. It would only take time.
Stopping her strokes for a moment, Blake's eyes dropped to Yang's prosthetic once more. "... Illia... I'll kill you myself." This time, she really did mean it. Her choice was made and she had no more regrets. "I choose my family."