The Prisoner of Zendai

By UCSBDad

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Farscape or anything of Anthony Hope's. Rating K. Time: Long, long ago in a Farscape galaxy near you.

It took two arns to cover in enormous detail the events of the past several

solar days. Tarlenheim acted like he'd happily have us repeat our story until

our tongues curled up and died, but he got a call. He waved us to the far end of

command and carried on a whispered conversation with someone.

Tarlenheim motioned to us to move back. "We're in orbit around the third moon of

our home world. It's a small moon too far out to be useful except as a base for

certain government activities that require privacy."

That, I didn't like one damned bit. I edged a little closer to Tarlenheim and

willed Aeryn to stay out of the way. Fat chance! Aeryn smiled at Tarlenheim and

took a step closer to him. He was smart, the bastard, he stepped back quickly

and covered us with his pistol and, to my shame, he grabbed Wynona and pointed

it right at Aeryn.

"Please," He said with a smile. "We wish you no harm. You should consider

yourselves our guests."

Of course, no one ever says, "Relax. We only want to murder you and bury the

remains on a miserable rock no one ever visits."

Aeryn continued to smile. "If we're your guests, can we leave?"

Tarlenheim smiled back. "Of course. You can't take this ship, it doesn't belong

to you, after all. And I can guarantee you that there is nothing in the range of

your transport pod except the Triple Monarchy. So, you may as well stay right

here."

I could really get to dislike Tarlenheim.

About a quarter of an arn later, I heard a bump. Someone had docked with the

ship.

Surprisingly, Tarlenheim's reinforcements consisted of one man. He was a big

dude, looking a little like a retired NFL lineman, big and blocky but light on

his feet. He was older than Tarlenheim and had white hair, cut very short and a

bushy white mustache. Aeryn had the same effect on him that she had on any other

male. He stopped in mid-stride and stared at her.

"By the Goddess, Tarlenheim! I thought you were exaggerating, but she's, she's..."

Words failed the newcomer. Happens to me when I look at Aeryn, too.

Tarlenheim smiled broadly. "Aeryn Sun and John Crichton, may I introduce Colonel

Sapt, Commander of Queen Flavia's Own Guard Regiment. Colonel, this is Aeryn Sun

and John Crichton, the people I told you about."

Sapt just stared at Aeryn. I could get to dislike him, too.

Finally, Sapt snapped out of it. He bowed to us, slightly. "My apologies. This ship

was carrying our Queen, Flavia, on a trip to the Outside. However, Tarlenheim

informs me that her body was not found. Is that correct?"

Aeryn and I nodded. Just in case a nod meant something different around here, I

added, "All of the bodies we found were put in storage and inspected by

Lieutenant Tarlenheim."

Aeryn continued for us. "We assure you we had nothing to do with this tragedy.

We'll be happy to give any evidence that we can to any investigation, or help in

any way we can."

I broke in, "Please believe us, we had absolutely nothing to do with whatever

happened to your Queen."

Surprisingly, that got a bark of laughter out of Sapt. "I believe you. No one

would be mad enough to send her to us." He gestured to Aeryn.

That was not good. Before Aeryn could say anything, I jumped in. "Colonel Sapt,

Aeryn has been a Peacekeeper, and I know I look like I might have been one, but

we have nothing to..."

Sapt broke in. "I'm not the least bit concerned that you are Peacekeepers, Mr.

Crichton. And, I am certain you had nothing to do with this. No one in their

right mind would try something like this."

I glanced at Aeryn. We were missing something, big time. My mind raced, trying

to see what we were missing. Tarlenheim came to our rescue.

"Perhaps, Colonel, our guests would like to see a picture of Queen Flavia." He

hit a control and a picture of a young woman came up. It took a few microts, but

then I saw it.

"Christ, Aeryn, that's you!"

Aeryn snorted. "In spite of your fantasies, I am not blonde, John."

I grabbed her arm and dragged her over to the clamshell. "Look, Honey. It's you.

A blonde you, but you. The eyes, the nose, the lips, everything. It's you, Aeryn,

except for the hair."

Aeryn stared hard at the image before us. "Well, maybe. A little bit."

Tarlenheim nodded. "Not just the face, either. Queen Flavia is about Aeryn Sun's

height and weight, and their bodies are nearly identical."

He gave Aeryn an appraising stare I didn't like at all.

AERYN

Tarlenheim kept showing pictures of Queen Flavia. The more that I saw of them,

the more I saw that John was right. She did look like me. Frell! She could have

been me.

I tore my eyes away from the pictures and turned to Sapt, the senior officer here.

"I really don't understand what this is all about, or what you expect of us."

Sapt leaned back against a console and began to explain. "We left Peacekeeper

jurisdiction twelve hundred cycles ago. We wanted to live our lives without the

regimentation that the Peacekeepers wanted to subject Sebacean society to. We

found this system by luck in the middle of a veritable interplanetary desert.

There's hardly a planet, let alone a habitable planet for nearly a hundred light

cycles. But here, there are three habitable planets."

Sapt tapped some instructions into the console and a graphic of three planets

came up on the clamshell.

"Strelsau was the first planet to be settled and still provides the name of the

entire system. Eventually, we settled on a second planet, Graustark, and lastly

we settled Strackenz. We who were born on Streslau tend to refer to our entire

nation as Streslau. Our neighbors on the other two planets refer to us as the

Triple Monarchy."

"Having been lost for so long, we have no desire to be found again, but we do

have to keep up with the Outside. We maintain a few very long-range ships to

trade with the Outside and keep up on the news of this end of the galaxy. It is

traditional for our monarch to make a trip so that she will have some knowledge

of the Outside."

John spoke up. "So, who went after Freddy Mercury?"

That got the usual blank looks, so I tried to ask a coherent question. "Who

would try to kidnap the Queen?"

Tarlenheim answered at once. "Mikeela the Red, of Graustark. She thinks she's a

Peacekeeper, the bitch. She not only has reason to attempt this obscenity, with

her so-called personal guards, she has the means."

Sapt snorted. "We have no proof, and we have other possibilities. We can't

misjudge the situation, Tarlenheim. The cost of an error on our part might be

civil war."

Tarlenheim stared at his feet, but I had the feeling he hadn't changed his mind.

John spoke up again. "Look, we can't tell the players without a program and we

don't have a clue what's going on here. Give us a break, will you?"

Sapt looked closely at John. He was obviously trying to figure this strange

Sebacean male out. He had no idea how much figuring he had in front of him.

"Mr. Crichton, we are aware of the looming war between the Peacekeepers and the

Scarrens. Both Peacekeeper and Scarren patrols have clashed on the edges of our

interstellar desert. Either, or both, sides could decide to explore this area of space

in hopes of finding something useful. Eventually, they'd find us. Most of our

population is perfectly satisfied with the status quo. They have no desire to come

to anyone's attention. Not the Peacekeepers, and certainly not the Scarrens.

There is, however, a small minority that supports the Peacekeepers and wants us

to contact them and offer an alliance against the Scarrens. Their leader is Crown

Princess Mikeela of Graustark."

"The one who kidnapped Queen Flavia." Interjected Tarlenheim. Sapt glared at him

and continued.

"Queen Flavia is to wed Grand Duke Rhennert of Strackenz. Strackenz is the

poorest and least developed of the planets, being the last one colonized. Many

on Strackenz resent their poverty and blame the richer worlds. A few passionate

nationalists would like to see the wedding called off. They would like to see

Strackenz an independent world. Insanity, given their poverty, but they say they

would rather be poor and free than wealthy slaves."

I noticed John nodding. "We have that type back home."

Sapt saw an opening. "And home is Mr. Crichton?"

John smiled. "Third star from the right and straight on till morning."

Every once in a while, I wondered what my life on Earth would be like. The rest

of the time I knew I'd end my days on a planet of lunatics with the lunatic I

loved the most.

Tarlenheim saw an opening, too. "And if Queen Flavia conveniently disappears the

next in the line of succession is Mikeela. Very convenient."

Sapt sighed. I had the feeling this argument had been going on for cycles. "We

have no faction that supports the Scarrens, but there have been ionized cesium

trails found near us that are consistent with Scarren technology. We have

intercepted a vanishingly small number of coded communications that resemble

Scarren cyphers."

Tarlenheim snorted. "Consistent with. Resemble! No one can find an actual

Scarren within a hundred light cycles. And the reason is simple. There are none."

"Lieutenant Tarlenheim, my duty is to protect my Queen as is yours. I must,

must, do you understand, consider every..."

"Possibility." Finished Tarlenheim. "And consider them while our Queen is a

prisoner of her own cousin, Mikeela."

John stepped between the two men and pushed them back. "Okay, folks. Move along.

Nothing to see here."

Both Sebaceans stopped and stared at John.

"Okay, now that I have your attention, what do you two want with Aeryn and me?"

Sapt cleared his throat and looked at Tarlenheim, then at John and me. "Nothing,

really. Just a small..."

That was all John needed. "Nothing? Okay, we can handle that. We'll just go have

some lunch and leave you two to get on with it."

John walked away from them and took my arm and headed for the passageway. We

almost made it.

"Wait!" Roared Sapt.

John sighed and we both turned around.

"You bellowed?" John asked politely.

Sapt didn't like this, I could see that. Neither did I. Neither did John.

"We need your help. Whoever has kidnapped our Queen intends to move quickly and

stage a coup d'etat. If they just wanted to sow panic and confusion, they would have

killed Her Majesty. They must be planning to use her as a figurehead for a new

government. We need Aeryn Sun to pretend to be Queen Flavia for a short period."

JOHN

"That's all, folks." I stared in disbelief at Sapt and Tarlenheim. "Send Aeryn out to be

a target for how many factions? Oh, that's right, you people don't frelling know how

many people are gunning for your queen. You don't even know that this Flavia is

alive. You think their plan must be to keep the queen alive. Well, my plan is to keep

Aeryn alive."

Suddenly, I was interrupted. By Aeryn.

"John, we need to talk."

I turned and stared at her. "Talk?"

She nodded. "Talk."

Frell. I had spent cycles trying to get the unbending Miss Sun to talk. Now she

had to talk to me. Aeryn smiled at Sapt and led me back out of command. We

stopped in a passageway just past the airlock.

I intended to have my say. "Aeryn. No. Don't listen to them, listen to me."

Aeryn put her hand up to silence me. "I was born a Peacekeeper, John."

That threw me. "You're not a Peacekeeper anymore, Hon."

Aeryn leaned against me. "I spent my whole life, before I met you, believing in

what I was doing. Believing, that all the pain and suffering we inflicted and

endured was for a greater good. That it all meant something. Something

important. It didn't mean a frelling thing."

Aeryn stopped and looked up at me. God, those eyes.

TBC