Hailey's heart sank at the mention of Erin's name. She fought back the wave of jealousy that rolled over her, and looked at the doctor, her voice steady. "She's not here. Is he okay?"
The doctor nodded. "Physically, he should make a full recovery, as long as he rests and gets plenty of care. But he's been asking for Erin nonstop."
Jay walked back into the waiting room, his knuckles bandaged from where he'd punched a wall in frustration. The unit looked up as he entered, their expressions a mix of relief and concern.
"Hey, man, you okay?" Kevin asked, noticing the bandages on his hand.
Jay nodded slightly, his eyes darting to the door of Voight's hospital room. "I'm fine," he said curtly. "What did the doctor say?"
"Seem like he's gonna pull through," Adam said, trying to sound optimistic. "But...he keeps asking for Erin."
There it was. The name Jay had been trying to avoid hearing. He gritted his teeth, clenching his bandaged hand into a fist.
"Yeah, well, she's not here," he said, his voice strained.
Hailey watched him clenching his hand, her heart breaking for him. She could see the pain in his eyes, the struggle he was having. She longed to touch him, to comfort him, but she could tell he wasn't in the mood to be touched right now.
The unit crowded into Voight's small hospital room, their faces a mixture of relief and worry. Voight lay in bed, looking pale and weak, but still holding on.
Jay took a seat next to his bedside, his expression stoic as he looked down at his sergeant.
"Hey, Sarge," he said, his voice low. "You scared us for a minute there."
Voight tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. "It'll take more than a bullet to take me down, kid," he said, his voice rough.
"Just that you were here," Voight said, looking at Jay. "She's worried about you, kid."
There was a moment of silence as Voight gathered his strength, then he spoke again.
"I called Erin," he said, his voice laced with fatigue. "She's asking after you."
The unit exchanged glances, their eyes darting to Jay. They could see the flicker of pain in his eyes, the struggle he was having to keep his emotions in check.
"What did you tell her?" Jay asked, keeping his voice steady.
Voight grunted as he shifted in bed, wincing at the pain in his chest. "Told her you're doing okay...for now," he said, his voice hoarse.
Jay clenched his jaw, his hand resting on his knee. He knew Voight was referring to him being okay physically, but he knew that Voight knew that he wasn't okay.
"Yeah, well, that's one way to put it," he muttered, his gaze fixed on a spot on the floor.
Voight chuckled weakly, his expression softening. "You always were a little too tough for your own good," he said, his voice gruff. "But it's okay to not be okay, kid."
Jay's eyes flashed to Voight's, surprised by the uncharacteristically gentle tone. He knew Voight was trying to comfort him, to let him know it was okay to show his emotions. But Jay had always been the strong one, the one who kept his feelings in check.
Voight took a deep, labored breath, his gaze sweeping over the unit. "You kids go get some coffee or something," he said, his voice still weak. "I need to have a word with Jay."
The unit looked at each other, knowing they weren't going to argue with the boss. They nodded and began to file out of the room, leaving Voight and Jay alone.
As the door closed behind the last member of the unit, Voight turned his gaze back to Jay. He scrutinized his young detective, taking in the tension in his shoulders, the tightness in his jaw, the haunted look in his eyes.
"You're not doing too good, are you?" Voight said, his tone firm but gentle.
Jay swallowed hard, his eyes darting to the floor. He knew he couldn't hide his feelings from Voight, not when the man knew him better than anyone.
"I'm fine," he muttered, the lie feeling bitter on his tongue.
Voight huffed out a strained laugh. "You think I don't know you better than that, kid?" he asked, his voice rough. "I can see the pain in your eyes. You can't hide from me, not when I've spent years watching you grow up."
Voight's expression softened as he saw the pain in Jay's eyes. He knew Jay was struggling with the fact that he still had feelings for Erin, that he couldn't completely forget her.
"I know you don't," he said, his tone gentle. "But you can't keep bottling these feelings up. You're going to explode eventually."
Jay swallowed hard, his heart clenching in his chest. He didn't want to admit it, but Voight was right. He needed to say it aloud, to verbalize the feelings he'd been keeping bottled up inside.
"I still love her," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to, but I can't seem to let her go."
Voight nodded, his expression softening further. "She loves you too, you know," he said gently.
"What?"
Voight chuckled weakly, a knowing smile on his face. "She didn't say it in so many words, but I could hear it in her voice. She still loves you, kiddo. As much as you still love her."
Jay swallowed hard, his heart aching in his chest. He hadn't expected to hear that from Voight, hadn't expected to hear that Erin still loved him.
"But...but she's been gone for years," he said raggedly. "I thought...I thought she'd moved on by now."
"You know Erin better than that," Voight said, his voice firm. "She loves fiercely and completely, and she doesn't let go easily. You left a mark on her, Jay. A mark that hasn't faded."
Tears stung at the corners of Jay's eyes, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed in a vise. hearing Voight confirm what he had secretly hoped for so long was too much.
"I...I don't know what to do," he muttered, his voice breaking. "Hailey...I can't hurt her. I love her. But I still love Erin too."
Voight reached out and grasped Jay's hand, his grip surprisingly strong given his condition. "Listen to me, kiddo. Loving two people at once ain't a crime. You gotta figure out what you really want, what your heart's telling you. But you can't keep living like this, torn in two directions. You gotta make a choice."
Jay felt a lump form in his throat as he listened to Voight's words. He knew the sergeant was right, that he couldn't keep going like this, torn between two women he loved.
"I just...I don't want to hurt anyone," he said, his voice soft. "Hailey...she's my world. But Erin..."
Jay swallowed hard, his heart aching in his chest as he processed Voight's words. He knew the sergeant was right, that he needed to confront his feelings and be honest with himself and with Hailey.
"Do you...do you know where she's staying?" he asked, his voice strained.
Voight chuckled softly, his expression becoming sly. "Of course I do. I'm a sergeant, I know everything."
Jay's heart rate picked up, excitement and fear mixing together in his chest. "Will you...will you tell me?" he asked hesitantly.
Voight nodded slowly, his smile still in place. "Yeah, I can give you the name of the hotel she's at. But on one condition."
Jay's heart skipped a beat as he waited for the condition, wondering what Voight would ask for in return for the information.
"You make sure you give her a proper apology," Voight said, his voice firm. "No pulling punches or acting tough. You show her that you're still the same Jay Halstead that she fell in love with all those years ago."
Jay swallowed hard, a mix of emotions rolling through him. Fear, trepidation, and most unexpectedly, hope. Could he really win her back after everything that had happened?
"I...I'll try," he said, his voice soft. "I'll do anything to make it right with her."
When Jay walked out of the room, Hailey approached him, asking if he was ready to head home, he made up a quick excuse.
"Uh, actually, I'm not feeling too well," he said, forcing a weak smile. "I think I'm just going to grab some coffee and clear my head for a bit."
The unit, sensing something off about Jay, exchanged glances. They knew there was something he wasn't telling them.
"You sure you're okay, man?" Adam asked, his voice laced with concern.
Kim gave him a careful look. "You've been awfully quiet since you talked with Voight."
The unit, sensing something off about Jay, exchanged glances. They knew there was something he wasn't telling them.
"You sure you're okay, man?" Adam asked, his voice laced with concern.
Kim gave him a careful look. "You've been awfully quiet since you talked with Voight."
Jay forced a casual shrug, trying to act like everything was fine. "Yeah, I'm good," he said, keeping his voice light. "Just...just need some caffeine, that's all."
The unit eyed him skeptically, not quite believing him.
"You know you can talk to us if something's going on, right?" Kevin said, his voice gentle.
Jay nodded, his heart twisting in his chest. He knew he should tell them the truth, that he was going to go and see Erin, that he had to make things right. But something held him back.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," he said, forcing another half-hearted smile. "I just...I just need some time to clear my head. Just...don't worry about me, okay?"
The unit shared another look, their concern escalating. They knew Jay well enough to know when he was shutting them out, keeping things from them. But they also knew he was stubborn as hell and wouldn't budge if he didn't want to talk.
"Okay," Adam said, his voice reluctant. "We'll give you some space. But you know we're here for you, man. No matter what."
Jay stood outside the hotel room, his heart racing and his palms clammy. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. This was it. He was about to see Erin for the first time in three years.
He raised his hand and knocked on the door, the sound seeming to echo in his ears. He waited, his heart in his throat, for any sign that someone was on the other side.
A few moments passed, and the door slowly opened. Standing there, framed in the doorway, was Erin.
She looked just as beautiful as he remembered. Her hair was styled a little differently, her makeup slightly heavier, but it was still distinctly her. And her eyes, those deep brown eyes that he had always gotten lost in...they were filled with surprise and something he couldn't quite pinpoint.
"Jay?"