THE THORN IN HIS SIDE

Adam pulled his ten-year-old brother down the steps to the buckboard. He had the greatest difficulty in not kicking him right in the butt. He looked back and viewed the huge ruin of the plate-glass window with a sigh. Heaven knows what their father was going to say.

"Thanks, Adam." Little Joe grinned and clapped him on the back. "I knew you could do it."

Adam gave him a sour look as Joe climbed onto the seat next to him and they began to trot out of town. The kid began to whistle cheekily and his attitude irked Adam.

"You had a close shave today, Little Joe."

"Yeah, did I! But you did it. I knew you could. She's always liked you!"

"I wouldn't look so cheerful if I were you, Joe."

Joe's smile faltered. "Wh-what do you mean?"

" 'What do I mean?' You know what Pa said he'd do if you got into trouble again this term, don't you?"

The boy shifted uncomfortably. "You-you ain't gonna tell him, Adam?"

"I've got to, Little Joe. Pa'll find out anyway – the next time he talks to Miss Jones."

"B-but he's not due back til the end of the week. Surely you're not gonna make me wait all that time?"

"Perhaps you should've thought of that before you smashed up the schoolroom."

By this time they had the left the town behind them. Adam ushered up the horses to a light canter and Joe sat glumly, watching the blur of the countryside speed past him. He suddenly did not feel very well.

"Adam, please. You know what he'll do."

"Yeah, I know. But this is going to cost him a mint of money. He'll know the minute he looks at the books." Joe gathered up his knees to his chest. "And get your feet off the upholstery!"

"Adam, you're being very mean."

"Put yourself in my shoes. It's only a matter of time. A very short time, at that. When he finds out you've done this and I didn't tell him, he'll tongue-lash me as well as you."

"He'll do more than tongue-lash me."

"Well, as I said, if you will do these things, what do you expect?"

Adam was not going very fast, bearing in mind Cochise was tied to the back. But it was too quick for Little Joe, who had decided he really did not want to go home.

"It wasn't even really my fault."

Adam sighed and rolled his eyes. "It never is, Little Joe! Playing such a stupid prank, then fighting indoors where there are windows and furniture. Your own common sense should've told you...But I forgot. You don't have any, do you?"

"I have plenty!"

"I wish you'd show it from time to time, then."

"It was his fault. He'd been goading me all day and then he punched me right in the back of the head. He thought he could get away with it because we were inside and everyone was there. Well, he couldn't!"

"Joe, Pa's told you time and again! That wasn't the place or time. One of the other kids could've got hurt – as it was, Miss Jones nearly did. It's a wonder you didn't get expelled years ago."

"What was I supposed to do? I always get the blame even when it's not my fault!"

"And what about the chair? Did you have to chuck it out of the window?"

"I was aiming for him!"

"As it was, you broke the chair and the window! It's gonna cost Pa a fortune!"

"I keep telling you, it's not my fault."

"It is your fault if you don't control yourself, Joe. You've already been in trouble once this week. You could've been in San Francisco with Pa and Scamp if you could just behave yourself for five minutes!"

Joe seemed lost in thought. Despite his irritation Adam could not help but smile. What was going on in that sneaky little brain of his? He looked at him from time to time onto a curly mop of hair.

"Of course, there is one way..."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?"

"Well, you could tell Pa you'd already dealt with it. Then he wouldn't punish me."

"So you'd get off scott-free, is that it?"

"No. Y-you could set me some extra chores. Restrict me."

"Joe, there's only one way I'd punish you. And you definitely wouldn't like it."

Joe felt like jumping out of the buckboard and heading back to town. Minutes passed before he spoke again. "Adam, you can't spank me. You're my brother, not my father."

"You're right. I can't. That's why Pa'll be the one who'll do it. When he finds out."

"Gosh, Adam, you are rotten!"

"I just saved you from being expelled. I'd be careful what I said if I were you."

"You could just restrict me or give me extra chores. But oh no. You've got to be hateful, haven't you?"

"Hateful? Listen, Joe. Do you think Pa'd accept such a lenient punishment? What'd happen is you'd have the extra work and the restriction and still get the hiding when he got back. And before you say anything, I'm not lying to him. Not for you, not for anyone."

Joe brought down his hand on the seat. "I'd do it for you!"

"Would you? I don't think so. You can't lie for toffee. You stammer and go red. Besides, you can't ask me to lie, little brother. It's not fair and you know it."

"What's not fair is you threatening to take the skin off my behind!"

"What are you talking about? I haven't made any threats. It was you who brought all this up, not me."

"Well, you could just tap me a few times and call that it."

"Joe, I am not tapping you a few times. You either get a proper punishment or you don't get one at all. In fact, I'd prefer it that way – I've no desire to put up with your sulks. Pa should be the one to do it, not me. It's just unlucky for you he's away for a few days and you have to wait. I'm not Pa but he put me in charge of you and Hoss. So you'll just have to wait until the end of the week and that's all there is to it."

By the time they got home Joe had pondered the problem fully. The thought of waiting days for his doom had given him stomach ache.

"Adam?"

"Yeah?"

"Alright."

"You sure? I won't go easy on you."

"You don't have to go that hard on me."

"I'd say you deserved it, wouldn't you? After all, you did nearly get expelled."

"That was a misunderstanding."

"Really? Did Miss Abigail misunderstand when the windows got smashed or when you shoved her?"

"That was an accident."

"I know it was. But if you hadn't been fighting it wouldn't have happened."

"Gosh darn it, Adam!"

"Smashing the windows! Throwing chairs around!"

"It was window. One. Singular. Not windows."

"Who's counting?"

"Anyway, it was his fault."

"Look, Little Joe, you have to accept that you're responsible. Either you accept this and I tell Pa it's all dealt with or you wait for him to come back. Which is it to be?"

Joe sighed. "OK."

"Well, go upstairs, then. And no sulking afterwards. Remember, this is your idea."

"You're loving this, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. Just forget about it, then. I won't touch you, I'll just tell Pa when he gets home."

Adam turned to go but Joe grabbed his arm.

"Oh, please, Adam! Don't leave me to Pa! Don't make me wait days and days!"

"OK, then. Upstairs. And don't give me any grief about it. I don't like this any more than you do. I'm doing it so you don't have to wait for the rest of the week dreading Pa's return. Now, quit stalling and go to your room."

Joe sat, his stomach hurting more and more. Make the most of it, he told himself. Knowing Adam, he could say good-bye to sitting down again, at least for the rest of the day. What made it worse was that Adam was his brother, not his father. It was true the older boy had swatted his ear or legs from time to time when he was tiny but he had never severely punished him before. The embarrassment was going to kill him. But anything was better than having to face his father.

He did not have long to wait. Adam wanted this over as much as him. It rankled him that he had to take over their father's role and he did not like it. He wanted to spare Joe from having to wait for days but he would not go easy on him. The little wretch had nearly gotten himself expelled and it was only the good relationship he had with Miss Abigail that had prevented it. The poor woman had been shoved quite violently and if she had fallen she could have been injured. As he pulled Joe across his lap, he gulped, steeled himself, and launched himself into it with as much gusto as he could. Much to Joe's dismay Adam spanked just as hard as his father did, if not harder. As he was jerked to his feet he threw himself onto the bed and howled until his throat hurt. He still had his chores to do and he knew Adam would not do them for him. He shuffled around, his backside burning like the fires of hell and tried not to feel resentful. Adam had done him a favor in a way. He wished the spanking had not been so severe but at least he did not have to wait for days and days until his father's return, dreading, dreading, dreading until he felt sick.

He slid onto a chair, grimacing and trying not to cry out and picked at his supper. Adam knew he had been hard on him and felt sorry about it. But Joe had asked him to do it and he knew the favor he had done him. He tried to be cheerful and both he and Hoss were diplomatic. Ben had always allowed his children to eat in their room after a spanking, saving them from embarrassment, but Adam did not believe in that. Yet he did not suggest a cushion or refer to the punishment in any way. Joe was mortified enough.

"Say, Joe, you gonna eat that food or just say hello to it?"

Joe tried to smile. His face was still blotchy and swollen from his tears and stang almost as much as his bottom. "Not really that hungry, Adam."

"Gotta eat, little brother," said Hoss.

"What for?"

"Well, you're always going on about how small you are. Wanna grow? Then you gotta eat."

"What you gonna do tomorrow?"

The school had closed for a day for repairs. The window was a huge one and it would take some time to do. And the bill would wind up in Ben's hands.

"I dunno."

"Meeting up with any of your friends?"

"I'm missing Scamp."

"I know, buddy. But you'll see her in a few days."

"If I hadn't been such an idiot I'd be there with them." He chased a piece of chicken around with his fork. "But then I always seem to be an idiot, don't I, Adam?"

Adam cocked his head on one side and winked at him. "Well, you have your moments, Little Joe. I don't think you're stupid, though. Just a little..."

"Squirrelly," Hoss finished.

"Oh, yeah, I'm squirrelly alright."

"Sneaky?"

"Yeah, alright, Hoss." Joe eyed him as his older brothers started to laugh.

"Joking apart, Little Joe, you've got the whole of tomorrow free."

"Yeah, the world's your oyster," said Hoss.

Joe could not summon up much enthusiasm. He was missing his sister keenly, his behind was killing him, and he felt depressed. Adam knew he was not sulky, merely unhappy. Joe spent some time in the barn that evening and Adam joined Hoss on the stoop.

"He's been out there for ages."

"Don't worry, Hoss. He just wants a bit of time on his own, that's all."

"It's OK between you two?"

"I think so. It was his suggestion."

"You mean, he asked you to do this?"

Adam smiled wryly. "Well, not exactly. He was dreading waiting for Pa to come home. First he asked me not to tell him."

"Well, he's gonna find out pretty quick!"

"Yeah, the minute he looks at the books and sees a dirty great bill for glass and workmen! Then he told me I could just tell him I'd dealt with it. He suggested extra chores, restrictions, or at the most I could tap him." He began to laugh. "I said I was not going to lie to Pa and if he wanted me to deal with it, I would, but I'd do it my way. In return he'd not have to wait on tenterhooks for the rest of the week. Finally he agreed. But not very happily, I can tell you."

"Like I said – squirrelly. And just what are you going to tell Pa?"

"The truth. I'll tell him what happened and that I blistered Joe's backside for him. I know Pa, he won't undermine my authority. He might scold Joe but there'll be no further punishment. Pa knows the stuff Little Joe gets up to and I can't be expected to look after him if I can't control or correct him." The light was slowly leaving the day and they looked out towards the barn. "You know he shoved Miss Abigail, don't you?"

"What?!"

"Not deliberately, obviously. She tried to separate them and she got pushed against a desk. Nearly knocked her over. That's what stopped the fight. Joe was immediately concerned for her and went to see if she was OK. But she was hopping mad. Not surprisingly."

"This was after the window?"

"Yeah," Adam chuckled.

"And you managed to talk her down?"

"Just. She said as long as Pa was informed and Joe was punished she would not go to the school board. But it was a close one. She was mad she had to get workmen in and that the school would have to be closed."

"Well, she's got a lot of time for you, Adam. I reckon she's always been a bit sweet on you."

"Oh, please, Hoss!"

"When I see her, it's always, 'And how is your brother, Adam? Such a cultured and refined man. He's a credit to our community.' Never mind about me or Joe!"

"Well, I can't fault the woman on her taste." Hoss gave him a friendly dig and Adam sighed. "I'm going to talk to him."

Joe was standing at the side of the barn, polishing up the spare saddlery to a reddish gleam. Adam was surprised because Joe had an aversion to work, especially extra work. But he knew Joe did not want to be in the house at the moment.

"Heya, Little Joe."

"Hi, Adam."

"You OK?"

"Yeah, fine." Joe eyed him, rubbed his behind and drew in his breath through his teeth. "You spank darn hard, Adam. I reckon I won't be able to sit down for a week."

"I don't think it'll be that bad," Adam smiled. "I did tell you I wouldn't go easy on you."

"No risk of that!"

"Would you rather have waited for Pa?"

"If you'd asked me a couple of hours ago I might've said yes. But no. No, I wouldn't."

"So things are OK between us?"

"Yeah, they're OK. I know I mucked up. I know you had no choice, really. I just wish you hadn't done it so darn hard."

"It had to be hard, Joe. Do you think Pa would have been any gentler?"

"No, probably not!"

Adam approached him and just looked at him. He eventually put his arm around his shoulders and Joe leaned into his chest. Adam knew Joe was far too old for any overt demonstrations of affection but he could not help but brush his lips over the top of his head. "Little Joe, don't do this again, will you?"

"I just don't understand why you had to go so hard on me. After all, Pa wouldn't have known. He wouldn't have known if you'd just given me a couple of swats. You could've still told him you'd spanked me and it wouldn't've been a lie."

"I think you do know why, Joe. What you did was wrong. More than that, it was stupid. What if you'd injured Miss Jones?"

"I told you, that was an accident."

"And I told you, if you hadn't been fighting it wouldn't have happened." Joe had no answer. "Besides that, I want you to make something of yourself. And that doesn't include you getting expelled from school. Pa's told you time and again how important it is you get some sort of education. You should think yourself lucky. A lot of kids don't get the chance."

Joe pulled away. "Lucky?! You're kidding, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not." Adam sighed. "Listen, Joe. I know you don't like it. You've always hated it. But I think you're old enough to realize that you can't get anywhere if you're as thick as a brick. You certainly couldn't run a ranch. Anyway, you're not dumb. Far from it. That's what makes it so doggone frustrating."

The boy was silent for a moment. Adam was perched against the bench, his arms crossed, watching him calmly. Joe lowered his head and picked at a knot in the wood.

"I know you're right, Adam. It's just I get sick and tired of you and Scamp being held up as such paragons of virtue. 'Your brother is so smart. Your sister is such a clever girl.' It makes me feel dumb. And it's really, really annoying."

"But don't you understand if you applied yourself, you'd be a lot smarter? You're far from stupid, Little Joe. And you know Pa and I would always offer you any help you needed. You may never be quite at Scamp's level because quite honestly, she's the smartest kid I've ever known, and that includes myself. If she'd been a boy, she'd have been off to college the moment she reached eighteen. But you'd still be brighter than most of the kids in your class. You'd be at least in the top five. Our family does not produce dunces, Joseph." Adam leaned forward, grinning and even Joe had to laugh. "Hoss's cleverness is not with books but there's no-one cleverer than him when it comes to the ranch or the animals or managing the countryside. Puts Pa and me to shame. But you're different. You're as smart as a button despite you pretending otherwise."

Little Joe liked being praised and to his surprise found his brother's opinion meant a lot to him. "Y-you think so?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't. I don't lie, Little Joe."

"I know you don't. Alright. I'll try harder."

"That's all anyone's asking of you, buddy. And no more fighting, OK?"

"That I can't promise!"

"Well, just keep it outside, then. That poor woman! You run her ragged. You have got to control that temper of yours, Joe."

"Yeah, Pa says that. I do try."

"Without much success." Joe shot him a look but saw Adam was smiling.

"I can't help it, Adam. I guess it's just the way I'm made. I lose my temper quickly. But so does Scamp and no-one says anything to her."

"Yes, they do. Pa's always scolding her for fighting. He tears strips off her for being such a little tomboy. He's worried someone'll beat her to a pulp one day although she's been lucky so far."

"No-one had better try!"

"The way she goes on...She's fearless. But you could really do some damage. I know you don't want to really hurt anyone. You'd never forgive yourself if you did. You've got a pretty soft heart underneath it all."

"Ugh. Don't get mushy."

"Alright!" Adam chuckled. "I won't. So you'll try a bit harder? Give Miss Abigail less of a reason to expel you?"

"I said I would."

Adam went to tousle his hair but gave him a punch on the shoulder instead. "Attaboy."

Joe thought about Adam's words for some time. He was still dreading his father's return but at least he would not have to suffer any terrible punishment. Ben could give some pretty daunting scoldings and he was not looking forward to it. His relationship with Adam eased as the effects of the punishment faded. He felt a mixture of emotions, anger, hurt, resentment, gratitude, embarrassment and shame. He still thought his brother could have gone much easier on him although his basic honesty made him admit he had deserved it. He watched the others prepare to go out as he finished his breakfast.

Cocky little kid has lost some of his spark, Adam thought.

"Just what are you going to do today, Little Joe?"

"Dunno. Nothing, I guess."

"Well, you can't just stay in the house all day."

"Why not?"

Adam buckled on his gunbelt before reaching for his jacket. "Because...because it's not like you, that's why. You'll be bored to tears."

"I don't care," Joe said, shrugging.

Adam put his hand on his shoulder and smiled kindly. Joe flushed and lowered his eyes before his face relaxed into a tiny smile of its own.

"Come on, buddy. This isn't like you. I know yesterday was rough on you...I was rough on you. But don't let it go on for too long, eh?"

"It's not that, Adam. I...I don't feel angry or anything. I know I deserved it. It's just...I can't explain it."

"You feel embarrassed?"

"Yeah. A bit."

"We've all been through it, Joe! You more than anyone." Hoss started to laugh. "I'm surprised you're not used to it."

Joe glared at him for a moment. "That was different. That was Pa."

"This is why I didn't want to do it, Little Joe. In fact, I wish I hadn't."

"It's OK. Don't feel like that. You...you did me a favour in a way. I guess. I even understand why you did it so hard. I was pretty dumb. I still wish you hadn't, though!"

"Say, Joe. You know, we're going to see Mr Parker later, after lunch?"

"Yeah. To look over the horses. To make an offer."

"Well, I could sure use a bit of help. You've got a pretty good eye. Ready to give me a hand?"

Joe stared at him in astonishment. "But...but...Pa says I'm not old enough."

"Pa's not here, is he?"

"But...you really think I'm good enough?"

"Sure you are. Anyway, it'd give you a bit of practice, wouldn't it? And you could talk to Mr Parker. Hone your skills a bit."

"Gee, Adam! You...you think I'm that good?!"

Adam winked at Hoss who smothered a smile. "I think you could be. You're gonna have to learn one day, aren't you?"

"Mr Parker won't mind?"

"Of course he won't."

"Pa always said I had to be at least twelve before I could even start. He says I'm too young."

"You leave Pa to me."

"Y-you sure he won't be mad? I'm not exactly gonna be in his good books as it is."

"He will not be mad, Joseph. I will tell him I asked you to do it. If he wants to scold someone, it'll be me, not you. Anyway, he won't. He trusts me to look out for you when he's not here and he's not likely to question my methods."

"Scamp'll be pea-green with envy!"

"Yeah, she will."

"You just wait til I tell her!" he cried, jumping to his feet and running to the stairs. "I can just see the look on her face! She ain't gonna be happy, Adam, I can tell you that!"

Hoss was chortling, standing over the table, drinking a last-minute cup of coffee. "That was a good idea of yours, Adam."

"Well, I was missing the little scoundrel." Adam draped his arm around Hoss's shoulders and they went out, laughing. "He may be a thorn in my side but he's my little brother, after all!"