Words: stairs, blood, brother

There is one thing that the families of cops fear more than anything else.

Every day when their loved ones go on the hunt for criminals. When their loved ones put on the blue uniform. When their loved ones do everything they can to keep the city and the people who live in it safe. When they put their own lives at risk for the people of Chicago.

It is a sentence that begins with the words "We are sorry to inform you". One sentence that changes the rest of your life. A sentence that Hank Voight never wanted to hear either.

He had already lost a loved one too many times. His unborn daughter, Camille, Justin, Al. And he didn't want to experience another loss in his life. You know, not when he was finally happy again. When he had let another person into his heart. Had let HER into his heart. Kim Burgess.

" Shots have been fired," Trudy said as she walked up the stairs to Intelligence in a hurry.

"Where? Did someone get hit? How bad is it?" she was bombarded with questions as soon as she had climbed the last flight of stairs. The attention of Intelligence was instantly drawn to her.

One of their own was out today - on the street with the uniforms. Kim Burgess. Accompanying two officers on their patrol. Alone. And neither of them had heard from Kim since she'd left the precinct today. Not a single message. Nor a phone call.

"Officer Maldino radioed 1013 that shots had been fired. Since then we've had no contact," Trudy said.

"Maldino, that's the officer Kim's out with today. With Maldino and Jamko," said Adam. And that was the exact moment when everyone knew it. Realized the meaning of Trudys words. That it might be Kim who was in danger. She who might have been hit, might have been injured.

As Trudy nodded, Hank felt as if his heart had stopped beating. Like the air was being taken away from him. As if it was happening all over again. As though he was going to lose everything again. All the good things in his life. His happiness.

1013 - that meant 'Officer needed help'. One of them had been hit. Needed help. But who? Maldino, Jamko or even Burgess? Was Kim injured? Shot down by a bullet? Fatally hit? Well, none of them wanted to think about that. The idea was off limits. A forbidden thought.

Hank had to suppress the impulse to storm out of the building and head straight towards her. To Kim. To make sure she was all right. That it wasn't Kim who had been hit by bullets. That she was still alive. With him. So he hadn't lost her too. Just like he had lost Camille and Justin. The last thing he wanted was to lose Kim too. He didn't want to mourn the loss of a loved one again. Nor lose all hope in his life again - because then, then he would take his . . . Hank didn't want to think about what he would do if he lost Kim too. He shouldn't imagine the worst things. He should hope for the best. Hope that it was all a bad dream. That Kim was fine. That nothing had happened to her.

"Do we know anything? Do we know who's been hit?" Hank asked, hoping no one heard the trembling of his voice. Hank could feel his heart beating faster and faster. He was afraid. Afraid - for Kim. Afraid that he had lost her. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time.

"Only that Maldino radioed the message - none of them have responded since. So we don't know anything else," Trudy replied. This was all she could tell the team. If only she could have given them good news. But Trudy didn't know any more. However, she knew that, even though she had very little information, she still had to pass on the news of the call.

The members of Intelligence looked at each other. It could mean anything or nothing. They weren't supposed to assume the worst, but since they'd already lost Al . . . They couldn't lose anyone else.

"We have to head over there. Kim needs us," Adam blurted out. He couldn't and didn't want to imagine that his ex-fiancée was in danger. Or that it might have been her who had been hit by bullets. Fatally hit. Even though he was now very happy with Susie, his new girlfriend, Kim was still very important to him.

"Not until we know what happened. We have no idea what to expect. It could be an ambush. And I don't want to put any more people from my team in danger," Hank found it so difficult to say these words. He actually wanted to say something completely different. However, they were the right words to say in this kind of situation. They couldn't just rush headlong into a situation like this. The team had to be sure that they weren't putting themselves in danger.

"But-"

"Voight is right. We won't help Kim if we put ourselves in danger. And she wouldn't want that either. She would want us to make sure we're safe. You know how Kim is," Kevin intervened.

Kevin didn't really like it either. This whole situation, that he couldn't help his best friend. Or that he had to remain on the sidelines. Unfortunately. But they couldn't rush into a situation that they didn't know what it was going to look like. And besides, Trudy hadn't said anything about whether reinforcements had been sent out.

Then again, 1013 meant for every cop that another cop needed their help. Meaning Kim needed their help. And they did nothing. They just stood around idly and imagined the worst possible things.

They looked at Trudy with defeated faces. All of them hoping that she might know something that she hadn't said before. Although the team knew that Trudy hadn't held anything back and that she was just as clueless as they all were. She was just as worried about Kim as they were. And about Jamko and Maldino.

"Maybe your brother has already heard something," Hailey turned to Jay. Yes, maybe Will Halstead knew something. If a cop was shot, he or she was either taken to Lakeshore or Med. If the latter, then surely Will knew and could give them the answers they longed for. Could tell them if all three were still alive. Could tell them who had been hit by the bullet.

Jay nodded and reached for his phone to check with his brother.

The short message was quickly typed and sent. Now it was time to wait. For a reply. For any news. For them to find out who had been hit.

The minutes it took for the team to receive a reply seemed like hours to each and every one of them. Endlessly long. It dragged on. Waiting like this. If there was one thing cops hated, it had to be that. Waiting to hear if one of their own was okay. Whether all of them returned home safe and unharmed from duty. Home to their loved ones.

It was another phone that finally received the longed-for message. In other words, the message about who had been hit. And who was unharmed.

Hank's phone announced the arrival of a message. And he hoped it meant what he suspected. Namely that Kim had written to him. He quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket and read the message.

"It's Jamko," he said after reading the message twice, "Jamko has been shot and is now on his way to Med."

One could hear the sighs of relief around the room.

Of course it was terrible when a cop was shot, or even killed. But at that moment everyone was just grateful that it wasn't Kim who had been hit. In particular, Hank was grateful. Hank had never been so glad to hear that it was another cop who had been hit by the shots. Even if he would never admit it out loud. But it wasn't him who had to visit a loved one in the hospital. Kim was fine. She hadn't been hit. However, only when he had her with him again, when he held her in his arms, would this feeling disappear. You know, the fear that had taken hold of him at Trudy's words earlier. Fear of having lost someone again.

And until then, he should distract himself. Get back to the professionalism upon which he always insisted. After all, there were no relationships in his team. At least not if he could help it. One of his cardinal rules.

And he had stuck to it. Until Kim had wormed her way into his heart. Well, you know, some rules were meant to be broken.

"Okay, now that we know Kim's okay - back to work, people. We've got reports to write, criminals to chase. So let's go," Hank announced.

It took a moment, but then everyone on the team turned back to their duties. However, Hank's gaze slid once more to the stairs. Waiting. Searching. He hoped Kim would be coming soon. And that he could see for himself that she really was unharmed. To see that he really hadn't lost her. He just wanted to take her in his arms. And preferably never let her go again.

After one last glance towards the stairs, Hank went back to his office - maybe it would distract him if he turned his attention to the reports. Ruzek's handwriting was so fucking bad, it would distract him when he tried to decipher the words he had written. He had told him more than once that he should write the reports on the computer. But well, at least now he was grateful that Ruzek was still ignoring his instructions. Now he had something to distract him. He knew it would be a while before Kim was back at the precinct. Back with him. And so he turned his attention to the reports and Ruzek's terrible handwriting.

Still, Hank's thoughts kept wandering - to Kim.

In his mind, he conjured up the worst things. Waking up in the morning to an empty bed. An empty house. A thought that scared him. Just something he never wanted to experience again. Perhaps he should change things with Kim, change everything. Well, maybe it was finally going to be what he had always secretly wanted. The one thing he thought he had lost forever with Camille's death. Yes, he should finally accept his happiness, his relationship. Perhaps this was the very moment that made him realize how quickly happiness could disappear. Or how close he had come to losing it all.

Hank's thoughts began to wander in a different direction. To the little box in his safe. Its significance. Towards asking himself again and again when the right moment was. The right moment for this one question. That all-important question.

Hank put the pen aside, no, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on the reports today. Not until he had seen for himself that Kim was all right. Not until he had her in his arms again, and until then the reports could wait. Everything could wait. But not him. It was so hard for him. To wait. To wait for Kim. To pull her into his arms again. To hold her tight and never let go again.

Finally - Kim ran up the stairs to Intelligence's bullpen. Officer Jamko's blood was still splattered on her shirt. Now all she wanted to do was take a shower, get out of her clothes and go home. She wanted to forget about today and how close she had come to the moment when it could all have been over. Had she only been one step further to the left . . . Kim didn't want to think about it anymore. Just wanted one thing - to get home. To be with Hank. Hank who had finally managed to distract himself with the reports. Even if only until he heard the footsteps and excited voices from the bullpen.

His gaze slid out into the bullpen, and there she was. Kim. Surrounded by the members of Intelligence. Finally she was there. At last. Now Hank could see for himself that she was all right. That she was unharmed, just as she had written in her message. That he hadn't lost her. Well, not today at least.

Hank got up from his desk and left his office. Without hesitation, he walked towards Kim. And as she heard his footsteps, she raised her eyes and looked straight at him. The moment Hank stood in front of her, he had never been so happy to see Kim. Forgetting everything for a moment - where they were, what role they played in public. All that mattered was Kim. And that she was unharmed. That she was alive.

"Kim," he whispered her name as he stood right in front of her and then, without thinking of the consequences, he pulled her close. Into his arms. Kim buried her face in his shirt. For that one moment, it was just the two of them. They simply blocked out everything and everyone around them. Even the team around them, who looked at them both in surprise.

Everything could wait. Everything was unimportant. All that mattered was this moment. And that they could hold each other in their arms.

And their love for each other.