"Kacchan?" Izuku sat down on the couch in the main community room and carefully nestled his bag on his lap.

"Mmmm," he didn't look up from his phone.

"Where's your egg?"

"Egg?" He echoed, clearly concentrating on something else.

"For health class?" Izuku hit his shoulder.

"Oi!" He finally looked up. "What's your problem?"

"No problem, except," he looked around Kacchan's body. "Where's your egg?"

A cocky smile split his face, and he eyed the bundle in his lap with disdain. "Somewhere safe."

"But! You can't!" Izuku reached into his backpack one-handed, keeping the other one on his own egg. He managed to finally tug the assignment he'd printed out earlier, and shoved it towards him.

"What's that?" Bakugou leaned over to look at it, and then snorted loudly. Chuckling, he focused on his phone.

"Kacchan!" Izuku shook the paper. "The rules say you can't ever leave your egg!"

"I know, I know," he pushed him away. "And you fail if it breaks."

"Right!" Izuku clutched the little egg in his lap. "It's supposed to be your baby."

"In the event I get some guy pregnant?" His lips twitched upwards. "They are aware of biology, right?"

"I don't think that matters," Izuku protested lamely, shifting uncomfortably at the sudden flutter of warmth that rippled through him at that statement.

Bakugou grunted and went back to looking at his phone.

"Hey Midoriya, Bakugou."

Barely lifting his head as Kirishima ran up towards them, Bakugou ignored him.

"Hey Kiri," Izuku smiled and waved.

"Check it out," the big red-head grinned and pointed to a strange contraption strapped to his chest.

"What's that?" Izuku squinted at what looked like... "Wait, is that your face mask?"

"YES!" He laughed and twisted around showing off his... whatever. "See, I strapped my belts around my back and then ran 'em through my mouthpiece to ride here on my chest." He tapped the weird thing hanging off him proudly. "Then, I hooked my sweat sock on the points to make an egg hammock," he rolled the sock down and peered inside. "See, all snug as a bug."

"Your egg is in there?" Izuku blinked trying to decide if Kiri had lost his mind. "Aren't you afraid it'll get jostled or hit?"

"Myegg?" Kiri scoffed and waved at him dismissively. "LK takes after dad." He bragged.

"LK?"

"My nickname for the egg, Lil' Kiri."

Oh, you named it?"

"Hell yeah," he frowned, "didn't you?"

Izuku looked down at the bag in his lap feeling a rush of heat flush his cheeks. "No."

"Bullshit," Bakugou finally looked up from his phone. "You only make that stupid face when you're lying. You totally named it."

"Whaddya name it?" Kiri covered his egg carefully with his sock again.

"Yeah," Bakugou teased. "What'd you name it?"

"I - I... um, I didn't." Izuku stared down at the egg, trying to hide his face.

"Maybe name it, um, Whippy?" Kiri suggested thoughtfully.

"How about Dippy," Bakugou chuckled.

"Kacchan," Izuku huffed.

"I think Whippy is better," Kiri laughed. "Either way, want me to help you make something like this?"

"I'm fine," Izuku held up his velvet green bag. "I think this is the safest place."

"Hell no!" Kiri yelled, then his eyes grew wide, and he slapped his hand over his mouth. "Sorry LK," he whispered.

Bakugou clicked his tongue loudly and put down his phone.

Kiri grinned wide at him. "Pretty neat, huh? Are you impressed?"

"Only with the incredible amount of stupidity that spews from that brain of yours, Shitty Hair."

"That's completely uncalled for," Kiri huffed.

Bakugou stared at Kirishima for a moment. "What?"

Placing his fingers delicately on either side of his sweat sock, Kiri squared his shoulders. "I won't expose LK to any derogatory or inflammatory comments." Spinning on his heel, he marched off.

"What the hell was that?"

Izuku lifted the paper, "part of the-"

"Deku," He side eyed him menacingly. "Put that shit away."

Izuku could feel his cheeks growing hotter. "Kacchan..."

"If you tell me not to cuss around your egg... I swear to all that is-" He stopped abruptly and growled low.

Wrapping his hands around his egg to block their conversation, Izuku lifted his chin. "Don't cuss around my egg, Kacchan." The blonde's face turned practically purple before he went back to stare at his phone.

Sitting quietly, Izuku waited until his face returned to a normal color. "Kacchan?"

"Deku?"

"Where's your egg?"

"In preschool." He deadpanned, still scrolling.

"Really? Is that an approved-" Izuku looked at the sheet.

"Not on the assignment."

"But-"

"Look," he put down his phone. "Ever meetmymom.

"Uh... yeah," Izuku cringed involuntarily.

"Yeah, thought so," he went back to scrolling.

"What is preschool for an egg? And how does it apply to your mom?"

Letting out an exaggerated sigh, he clicked off his phone and tossed it onto the couch next to him. Turning he locked eyes with Izuku, whose heart skipped at least one... maybe two beats. "Deku," he quipped sarcastically. "From the beginning, I worried about the social ramifications of raising an egg in an uncontrolled environment such as UA." He tilted his head towards the direction Kirishima had disappeared. "Take Shitty Hair for example." Bakugou mused. "If my egg were exposed to such idiocy." He pointed to Izuku's egg still in his hands. "What chances does it have for normal development, let alone social interaction in the future."

"What?"

"Shitty Hair," he pointed down the hall. "Your egg," he gestured towards his lap. "It soaked that idiocy into its little embryo... what chances does it have to grow into a happy, healthy egg now?"

Izuku glanced at his egg. "Uhh.."

"Don't answer that," Bakugou clicked his tongue. "Now, your desire to conform to societal rules," he tapped the paper, "has already caused..." he paused. "No name?"

"Well-"

"Right," he shook his head disappointed. "No name. Anyhow, your compulsion to adhere to strict rules and regulations has already crippled No Name's chances to lead a normal life."

"That's... that's not the assignment," Izuku lifted the paper.

Ripping it from his hands, Bakugou crumpled it and tossed it over his shoulder. "So, according to you, what I'm supposed to be learning in this class is that the basics of raising a child is, don't ever leave it alone or let it crack. Right?"

"No... that's just the assignment."

"Deku, seriously?" He picked up his phone. "I expected more of you."

"Kacchan!" Izuku snapped. "The assignment was to take the egg with you everywhere you go, to simulate having a baby!"

"Why are there preschool centers?"

"What's that have to do with anything?" Izuku threw his hands up in frustration.

"Preschool is a place to nurture and grow a baby egg with other baby eggs."

"Kacchan," Izuku rolled his eyes.

"Here me out." He put down his phone again. "Your egg is in a dark bag with a helicopter parent afraid of even the slightest of movement, fearing shell busting for No Name on a constant basis." He laughed harshly. "That's gonna screw with its little head for the rest of its life. You do know that anxiety is one of the greatest health hazards for our generation."

"Kacchan, you're just trying to skip out on doing the assignment!"

"And you're being brainwashed into believing that you're incapable of making good decisions for your own egg. I know I'd be a shit parent. I'm just being realistic."

Jumping to his feet, Izuku snuggled his egg in his arms. "I have to go if you're going to continue cussing."

"Because clearly that's a sign of being a bad parent." Bakugou clicked his tongue again. "Nerd, maybe you should consider other options for your egg."

"I just want to pass the damn class Kacchan!" Izuku inhaled sharply and blushed furiously. Stomping off, he headed towards his room.

"Hold up! Deku!"

Spinning around, he saw him trotting towards him. "I'm just fuc- um..." he made a face. "Messing with you."

"Thanks, I guess." Izuku tilted his head. "Seriously, where's your egg?"

"In preschool, with eleven other eggs," he thumbed over his back.

"In the KITCHEN!" Izuku practically screeched.

Shoving his fingers in his ears playfully, Bakugou gave him a cocky grin. "Safest place for an egg."

"What if someone uses it for cooking?"

"Well Shhhhh-," he glanced down at Izuku's egg. "Shoot... I did a lot of research on the best egg preschool, and I chose the student kitchen."

"We have a kitchen?"

"Eggggsactly," Bakugou smiled at his pun. "Not only does no one even realize it exists, only Sato cooks, and for some stupid reason he does it in his room."

"There's really a student kitchen?" Izuku looks past him through the community room. He thought he knew everything about their building.

"It's in the back, they used it as part of the cafeteria but with all the security changes, it's only for students now."

Izuku stared at him looking for the cocky smile or something that he was pulling his leg. "You're serious?"

"Oi", Bakugou pointed to his egg. "Your ingraining serious trust issues into No Name."

Izuku clamped his lips together tight, but he could feel heat infusing his face all the way to his hairline.

Bakugou smirked. "You look like a Christmas tree," he reached out and flicked his forehead gently.

"And - And you're going to fail health class," Izuku sputtered back. "I think you already broke your egg, and this is some ploy to get mine."

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he narrowed his eyes and stared at him.

"What?" Izuku stepped back warily, he'd been guessing, but now he wondered if he was right.

Shrugging one shoulder towards the kitchen, Bakugou turned. "C'mon."

"Where?"

"The kitchen, Nerd, where else." He peered over his shoulder. "I think it's 'bring a guest day' today at preschool. No Name can come and meet all the other eggs."

Izuku let out an incredulous snort, but he was already walking through the community area into the dining hall. Looking at the elevators Izuku debated what to do, but he was curious now and he ran to catch up.

Slamming open the double doors, Bakugou stopped at a large commercial refrigerator that stood in the back of a roomy kitchen.

Looking around, Izuku gaped at the space he'd never seen before. "This is incredible, I can't believe no one told us about this!"

"They did." Bakugou was bent over, looking through the shelves.

"They did?"

"Yeah, Present Mic mentioned it about two months ago during announcements."

"Andyoulistened to him?" Izuku asked incredulously.

"Ha ha," Bakugou glared at him from under his arm. "I may not write down every scrap of useless information that passes through my brain," he snarked pointedly, "but I do pay attention." He clicked his tongue as he looked back into the refrigerator.

"I didn't mean-"

"Yes, you did."

"I meant... that no one does." Izuku shuffled closer, juggling his egg carefully between his hands.

"Well, that would make sense why no one knows about this place... Here we go." Pulling out a carton of eggs, he froze, weighing it in his hands, his face went white. "Shit," he muttered and quickly opened the lid revealing only three eggs.

Scooting closer, Izuku frowned. "Which one has Aizawa's mark?"

Quickly spinning the three eggs, Bakugou shut the lid. "None of them."

"Hey guys," Denki popped into the door carrying a plate. Going to the sink, Bakugou watched clearly horrified as he rinsed his dishes and put them into the dishwasher. Strolling over, Denki propped his hip on the counter by the fridge. "What's up?"

"What're you doing here?" Bakugou snapped.

Izuku sniffed and noticed the aroma of food permeating the air that he hadn't smelled when they'd come in earlier.

"Hey," Denki crossed his arms, "it's a student kitchen. I can be here as much as you."

"What..." Bakugou sucked in a sharp breath. "What they hell were you eating?"

"Omurice," he burped and patted his stomach. "There was some leftover fried rice and eggs, so I..." his voice trailed off as Bakugou lifted his hands, sparks starting to pop off his skin. "WAIT!" He stumbled back, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He jerked his hands up, getting ready to fire back.

"STOP!" Izuku jumped between the two of them.

"I don't care if I fry you, Deku!" He yelled, not moving his hands. "Fucking Sparky ate my egg!"

"Don't!" Izuku closed his eyes and held up his egg as a shield. "If you do that, you'll hurt baby Eggchan!"

Nothing happened.

Opening his eyes slowly, Bakugou was staring at him, his brow furrowed so deeply his forehead scrunched up on itself.

"I'm outta here!" Denki ducked around Izuku and dashed for the door.

The kitchen grew quiet.

Izuku lowered his egg and bit his lip. "Do... do you like the name I chose?" He played with the drawstring on his bag. "I thought about Kazuki too. But I decided on Eggchan."

"Eggchan?"

"Mmmm hmmm."

"Named after anyone I know?" He teased, putting the egg carton back in the fridge and stepped closer.

"M-Maybe?" Izuku's voice hitched.

"Can I see?"

"Oh, sure," Izuku shrugged, feeling slightly off-kilter with him so close and being, well, not Kacchan-like. Opening the bag, he pulled out the egg he'd been protecting.

"Eggchan," Bakugou repeated as if playing with the name on his lips.

"Um, so I guess you're gonna fail health?" Izuku put his egg back in and peeked up. His eyes were smoldering a rich red. "That means summer school... right?" He swallowed hard.

Reaching forward Bakugou put his arm around him and tapped Eggchan's bag. "Do you know the statistical analysis of single-parent households?"

"Statistical... what?"

"Well, technically, you come from a single-parent household. Was it tough on you and your mom?"

"Oh... well, sure." Izuku frowned. "I guess there were times that weren't easy."

"Exactly, eggs from single-parent households have trouble with confidence and expressing themselves. I'd hate for Eggchan to go through that."

Izuku tipped his head and let out a soft laugh, catching on. "What are youproposing, Kacchan?" He quipped sarcastically.

"If we're simulating a real-life situation, then you would've let me know about Eggchan at some point and I'm not a complete loser. I'd chip in, help with my little egg."

"You - You would?" Izuku cleared his throat, this was too much for him. "You're still doing summer class-"

"I'd rather not," he interrupted. "If I remember, I promised to train with you?"

"You did not. I asked but you said no."

"I did?" He sighed and started to walk them both back towards the community room. "I imagine I might be able to find time, at least ifI amthe baby egg daddy."

"Kacchan..."

"Deku..."

"I don't think-"

"Stop thinking in front of Eggchan, you might rub off," he ruffled his hair.

"Well, I think Eggchan takes after me anyway."

"Bull-oney," he finished and chuckled. "Totally looks like me.:

"Kacchan..."

"Deku..."

TOL - I heard about this being something taught in health class and cracked up thinking how this would look at UA... Hope you enjoyed a little silliness.