She was in a good mood today.
After the shitshow that has been the past few days, it was a miracle.
Her pale fingers plucked a slice of fish from the wooden bowl she hovered over and inspected the marinated meat with her bright pink eyes. Slimy, dripping unknown juices, faint steam seeping from it, just the way she liked it! She wiggled it between her pinched fingers before tossing her mouth, her cheeks bulging while she chewed.
Finally some tasty food, fresh from the Pilt river. Well, as fresh as it could be.
She had to admit, the Firelights had some talent after all. Wait. No. Just their chef. Everyone else was yet to be determined. Her eyes shifted to her right so she could take in the big hulking muscle man eating on the same bench just a few feet down. The half-bat looking Chirean. He ate his food as if he were pissed at it. So serious.
A worthy target.
She extended her pale arm outwards, chains rattling as she did so and tucked in her pinky and ring finger to form the shape of a gun with her hand. She tilted her head and clenched one eye to look down the barrel. The game of getting on target was nothing but an effort to keep her entertained. She shot her wrist back.
Bang.
The muscled man's green eyes narrowed sharply as his attention fell on her. A low growl in his throat spurred her excitement within her chest. What? Her wide, innocent eyes feigned ignorance and he snarled at her before turning back to his lunch. It was just so great that all the Firelights could be so easily fucked with. It really did make her day.
The sound of a smack teased her ears and she swiveled in her seat to see Caitlyn's hand swatting at her sister's sleeve.
"Will you slow down?" Caitlyn scolded. "You're making a mess."
Vi looked both bewildered and embarrassed as the fish in her mouth was poking out from her stuffed face. Hah! Yeah sis, what do you think of your girlfriend? Bet you didn't think you'd be getting scolded at the table. She's different, you know? A top-sider won't ever understand us, and I get sick just watching you follow her like a lost poro.
"Mmmph, I can't help it." Vi replied after making an effort to swallow the food in a single gulp. "It's so good! Didn't know you guys had food like this here, Little Man."
Her words were sent back across the table and over to her side of the bench. Ekko sat two spaces over, separated by her new fluffy friend. Which was for the best. She already lost her silverware privileges when she tried to stab Ekko's hand but really, who's bright idea was it to give her something sharp? Amatuers.
She giggled to herself while Ekko eyed her warily. He turned back to Vi.
"We do a lot to make sure we can sustain ourselves. Just so happens the harbor is the richest nearby food source, so we had to get good at preparing it."
Ah. Harbor nearby. It wasn't much, but the map of Piltover that was sketched in her mind was becoming smaller and smaller by the day. Subtle clues, casual mentions, it wouldn't be long before she had a good idea of where she was being held. And that was just the first of many steps towards her escape.
A glance down at her empty wooden bowl had her pouting and folding her arms across her chest. She didn't even realize she'd eaten all her food. She turned to peek at the yordle next to her. His bright, cheery disposition was blind to her jealous stare and his bowl was still mostly full, the result of careful eating with silverware and manners.
Don't mind if I do.
She lurched to the side and swiped a piece of fish from under his unsuspecting watch.
"Jinx!" She paused with her mouth open as her eyes found the voice that called her out. Caitlyn seemed to be particularly upset with her face put in a deep scowl.
What? What'd she do?
"Huh?"
"You can't just take other people's food without permission! Give it back."
Okay, now that was strange. Silco had told her that top-siders of all people knew how to take and steal. Practically knew how from birth. They'd done it to the people of Zaun for decades... besides, her whole upbringing she's learned to take what she wants. Anyone who complained and couldn't fend for themselves was weak. That's how the world works. She was confused.
"But...I want it?"
Blue eyes widened in response and she wasn't exactly sure what part of her statement was supposed to be so shocking. Was it because she was technically their prisoner? Sorry, but finders keepers.
"It's quite alright." Heimerdinger commented with an uplift in his mustache, "Us Yordles have a small appetite anyhow."
See. No harm done. The only one that's upset is you, princess. She didn't say those words aloud but the emotion in her eyes was clear as day as she tossed the fish into her mouth. She smirked as she chewed, loving how Caitlyn sighed with her loss and facepalmed in exhaustion.
"Although, it would be nice to have a little heads up next time, dear."
Her chewing paused. Ugh. She was getting soft. A sudden twist in her gut at the professor's words actually had her feeling some sort of...remorse? She wasn't very good at identifying it, but her shoulders slumped as she sat down on the bench.
"Fine…" She grumbled. This whole thing wouldn't be a problem if they gave her more food to begin with though.
Their little afternoon "picnic" as she called it, continued after the scene she'd caused and damnit she was so bored. The downsides of being chained wherever you go, you have to wait on other people's whims. With a groan she let her forehead fall to the wooden table, right next to her empty bowl. Pink eyes stared through the small space between the table edge and the bench she sat on to watch her feet dance in the dirt below.
It wasn't much fun when her ankles were still locked together.
"We've been tracking Sevika's men with a few of our scouts. As far as what she's planning, she's keeping it close to The Last Drop."
Holy cow! The Ogre was still alive? She remembered seeing the bitch upside down, missing her special mecha arm while the purple shimmer made an even bigger mess in the aftermath of her sister's battle. But still, Jinx couldn't care less. As far as she was concerned, Sevika wasn't even on her radar.
Of course, her older sister nearly killed herself trying to brawl with the woman. Hah! She would have made quick work of the both of them with a few well placed shots between the eyes. Oh! An idea!
"Psst. Can I see a piece of that, Dingy?" She whispered while a chipped, blue nail pointed at his food.
"I suppose," He sighed, as he cut a small fraction of the filet and dropped it in her palm. "It's Heimerdinger."
Yeah. Yeah. She'd remember his name later...maybe, it was sorta complicated. The type of name that was begging for a nickname, but she had more pressing matters to attend to. While the group continued to talk about whatever plans they had for Silco's second in command, she closed a single eye and calculated her aim.
"As far as the shimmer production, one plant is still active but they haven't made any effort to repai-'' Ekko was cut short in his discussion as a piece of slimy fish slapped against his cheek.
Pale cheeks puffed outwards and teeth bit down on her lips to seal the rising humor inside. She tried to hold in her laughter. She really did, but the piece of meat rolled down his skin so slowly and the pure, violent irritation in his eyes was just too perfect. Just like her aim. She clutched her stomach while she giggled. All eyes at the table were on her as she shakily pointed her finger to mock the boy savior.
"Bullseye!"
"I think she's had enough sunlight for today." He tried to sound intimidating in his threat, but she just couldn't take him seriously. The splotches of slime on his cheek took away any and all authority he had.
The pads of her fingers swiped the faint tears from the corners of her eyes as a dull ache settled in her stomach from all her joy. Sure sure. Lock her up in that stuffy room for the rest of the day. Whatever. She was in a good mood. No regrets either Little Man.
She spun on her heel to give the rest of the table an exaggerated salute as she was dragged away.
The Firelight community still avoided her like the plague. If nervousness and fear wasn't shown in their averting eyes, hatred certainly was. And she could feel it too. Almost as if it cast itself on her skin like another tattoo. While Ekko led her through the community by her chains, she observed the wide berth people gave them, like she had a forcefield around herself.
It didn't bother her in the slightest. Actually, she rather liked it. Silco's lesson was to be what they feared. Consider her goal achieved! The mental realization pricked the edge of her mind though. It was hard not to think of herself as a monster and also feel like Silco would be proud. Could someone have a monster as a daughter? Would they still love them the same?
No! She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She couldn't follow that line of thinking. It was already too unstable, too unsafe, and even she knew when to stop sometimes. Her shimmer-filled eyes were now alert and flashing back and forth, ahead and behind, left and right, almost expecting his bullet ridden ghost to be leaning against one of the many buildings in the area but she came up empty. Just Mylo and Claggor following from a distance, big surprise.
She spun her head to watch Ekko's back as he led her up the stairs of the giant tree that was her prison. A splash of color caught her attention. Bright pinks, blues, and a myriad of playful colors made her dizzy. Her breath caught in her throat and she questioned whether or not she was choking.
What was that?!
Heels planted into the ground and halted the two as her wide eyes stared at the graffitied wall. What was she looking at? Why did she see all her nightmares memorialized? Horror etched onto her face as the many scribbles of her mind seemed to breathe life into the faces she loved as they laid themselves over the portraits.
Like monsters coming alive…
She wished she could scream but her muscles had completely locked up, like something was holding her tightly within its grasp. Fear was powerful and right now, it gripped her with all its strength.
"W-what are-" Her finger shakily reached out to point to the mural that she struggled to comment on.
Was it even real? Was her mind breaking further? Had the cracks gone too long without repair? It was as if the whole world was splintering, fragmenting without reason. This wasn't reality, it couldn't be. She was imagining it. The thought didn't do anything to quell the terror that iced her veins.
"The price of our freedom." Ekko muttered from her side.
The chains that wrapped around her arms and legs were nothing compared to the ones that had suddenly latched onto her heart, squeezing so hard she was afraid it might burst. Why would anyone want this? This was permanent. Didn't they realize that? This little corner of the world was forever occupied by death and she was frightened at the idea that they could exist beyond her mind. It made her question if the ones she saw in her head were not the only ones out to get her.
"Those are all the loved ones we've lost. We honor their memory as Firelights. Not that you care."
"L-loved ones?" She questioned. So many faces, so many people, some of which she remembered killing.
A sharp ache pierced her head and she clutched her temple in response. No. They wouldn't come back. It wasn't possible! She didn't know them, so they couldn't haunt her. That's how it worked! Her knuckles started feverishly knocking against her skull. Get that disorienting pain out and replace it with something else! Get out! Get out!
She stopped hurting herself and froze at the face of her younger self that was like a beacon that drew her attention as she stared into her once beautiful, innocent eyes. Why was she up there? She was still here! She was still- Realization cut the thought short. Ah. So the Firelights understood it too then? Powder was dead. Dead. Gone, and in her place was something unloveable. Yes, that made sense.
"Let's go, people are staring." Ekko tugged on her chains but she wouldn't budge.
How could she? Didn't he see them? Didn't he see all the decayed hands that broke through the ground and held onto her as if they wanted to drag her down to hell. She could feel their grip on her. So many hands, all rotting and wrapped around her. It was hurting.
"Hey, I said-" His light brown eyes came into her vision as he made an attempt to get her attention but she was utterly still. His shock was just about the last thing she noticed.
Her lips were quivering. She felt cold. So cold. Like the ghostly spirits were draining her life with each passing second. The starving souls were looking for something to bring them back, but she wasn't enough. She couldn't bring any of them back.
"H-help."
A single whispered word felt so lonely as it passed through her lips, like she was shouting it into an abyss. No one was there to respond, no one ever was.
"Forget about the wall, let's go." He tugged once more at the metal that was attached to her.
"I can't."
"What do you mean y-?"
"I can't move! " Her voice grew increasingly stressed as the words were acknowledging what she wouldn't let go! "I don't wanna be here. I wanna go- I wanna go home."
Home . Where even was that these days? Was there a single place where she could feel safe? Was there any hope of her finding a place like that again? It seemed so distant, so impossibly out of reach.
A hand extended out and warmth burst on her shoulder as Ekko's palm placed itself on her chilled skin. Her eyes flashed towards the contact. It was so clearly contrasted to the shivers she felt all over that his touch almost burned.
Fearful eyes glanced up towards his own. He was silent, watching her with confusion and maybe something more akin to concern. Her voice had all but died in her throat and she could only hope that her continued plea for help could be seen in her pupils. She didn't care that she hated him. She didn't care that she'd been so humiliated in their battle on the bridge, or all the times she failed Silco by being unable to kill the boy. Please. This was life or death. She was hanging on the edge and she didn't want to fall.
Jinx couldn't fall down the well too. She couldn't. There'd be nothing left.
The many undead, ghostly hands were eventually ripped away as her whole body was lifted from the ground. One step took her farther away from them and she closed her eyes and placed her hands over her ears to block out their horrid moans, begging her to come back and give them what they were owed.
Her side was pulled further into Ekko and her body felt a movement as if she were on a boat. She bobbed and swayed with little control and that's when she realized that Ekko was carrying her, chains and all. She had to give him credit, he must've grown quite strong over the years if her body, wrapped in metal, did little to slow him down as he took her away.
Lips parted in shock and she tilted her head up to see the underside of his chin. His strong, determined gaze was facing forward while his expression was settled onto that confident, arrogant form that she loathed so much, only the usual smirk was missing from his lips. A brief consideration that she was grateful for Ekko left her head almost as quickly as it entered. Really. She didn't bat an eye at the thought, but the lingering warmth in her heart was spreading as he continued to travel up the stairs and towards her room.
Why was he so warm? Like a candle, no, a furnace on a cold, winter night. Her cheek pressed deeper into his chest, it was pleasant. This was okay right? She was just using him anyway. The comfort wasn't doing any harm and if he was uncomfortable, too damn bad.
When they arrived, she was dreading the extra heat she'd feel being locked in such a place but the alternative of helplessly struggling as corpses dragged her beneath the ground was decidedly much worse. He placed her on the floor, not a single word uttered as he linked the chains around metal pipes. Even if he wanted to talk about what happened, he didn't make any outward sign that he was going to ask.
Good. She didn't want to talk about it. She never wanted to talk about what she saw ever again. All those memories, all those corpses...She'd have to be more careful. The once thought to be harmless hideout was a hideous lie. There were things outside of her mind capable of breaking her now.
Ekko stopped at the edge of the doorway, his back still facing her but his head tilted to the side as if he was contemplating turning around. She watched him, waiting for a snide comment or hurtful joke at what he'd seen but instead he just huffed.
"I swear if you're faking…" He didn't finish his murmured thought and continued walking outside.
Faking?
Time ticked onwards, ever so slowly as the word registered in her head. Her lips parted while her eyes blankly stared forward. It was like a crank, similar to her toy monkey, was being twisted and twisted, harder and harder in her gut. Faking...the idea didn't seem real. Is that what he thought? She was faking all the twisted shit that lived inside her mind?
Faking…
But she'd lowered her guard for him...Asked him for help...
Faking...
Faking?! Her bubbling hatred surfaced in an instant. It was as if a switch was flicked on, flipping her into an entirely different state than before. Get back here you coward! Come back and look at me while you call me a liar! A little man. That's all you are! So little he was beneath her in every conceivable sense of the word.
"Fuck you!" She shouted after him so harshly that her throat immediately felt raw. "I'll kill you, every last one of you damn Firelights!" Her body lurched against the metal chains as she thrashed and spiraled into a red haze. Her eyes were glowing with the shimmer bursting in her veins. Pale hands were clenched, itching to be wrapped around his neck. She hated him. Hated him!
How dare he? Her rage masked the terrible ache in her heart. She wasn't faking. She wasn't a liar. Her body rocked as it swung from rage to sadness like a pendulum, entirely out of her control. Another regret was added to her near endless list as she thought about how she'd asked to be rescued. Dignity tossed aside, she pleaded for him to save her and he threw it in her face at the last moment. Didn't he know how much that hurt? How vulnerable- Stop! She clenched her teeth and snarled at her own thoughts. All she wanted was fury to cloud her mind. All she needed was that potent wrath to consume her. Not those… pathetic thoughts.
She'd show him. Oh she'd show him. Just like Silco once whispered in her ear. There was nothing good waiting for her enemies.
The door remained open, but his form never once made another appearance. Her chest heaved as she took huge gasps of air within her lungs. A sound, not quite coherent enough to form words, was screamed outwards towards the entrance to her cell.
Her screeching voice took everything she had including the passion that blazed within her iris'.
Maybe it was all pointless anyway. What use was her resentment here? If she could actually do anything about it, her death would just be delivered faster...Ekko was her enemy, her greatest threat. She was stupid to forget. Why waste her breath when he knew it too? He was smart enough to destroy her, no matter how much she wanted to believe otherwise.
She'd find no safety with him. No point in trying then.
When she exhausted herself of all the energy in her body, she crumpled to the floor. Pink eyes stared at her hands, wondering when exactly she'd lost all sense of control? She used to have authority over her emotions, containing them within a tiny little box inside. She could detach herself and find solace in her childish whims. The loose cannon! Unhinged in all the ways that made her unique, but strong of mind and will. If there was something she wanted, she had the determination and strength to get it.
But now, wait, now wasn't accurate enough. Ever since her operation , she's been a slave to her revolting feelings. Extreme and catastrophic in nature, she's always seconds away from snapping.
A small whimper left her at the thought and she held herself close.
Why couldn't she just be normal?
When night time came and the moon soared high in the starry sky above their hideout, she truly felt drained. Her confidence, her passion, it was all so distant. She stared blankly at the floor and for once embraced the boredom that came with her prison.
With boredom came silence and with silence came a static, numb feeling that wrapped around her brain and tempted her with it's promise of more time. So much time, ticking by slower and slower. It was almost magical to think she was prolonging the way she experienced her final month of life.
"Crazy how time works huh?" She asked aloud while staring at the ceiling. Her eyes turned to Vander who made a surprise appearance as he growled and roared in the corner of the room. She winced. Did he have to be so loud? Go bother someone else. She wasn't in the mood.
Of course her request was entirely out of her control. Sometimes they listened, sometimes they found ways to become even more irritating.
A faint knock against wood had her senses sharpen just enough to realize someone was coming inside. When her sister appeared in the doorway she didn't say anything. Her eyes didn't even acknowledge the woman. The only indication it was her sister was the bright red color on the edge of her vision and a greeting with that name she always used. Powder. She didn't even bother trying to fight it. Just tell me what you want and leave.
"I spoke with Ekko a few minutes ago" Vi started, her voice was gentle despite the rough nature of the woman's voice. "Said something about new restraints being ready. I think you'll be getting them tomorrow."
Oh! Cool! Thank you dear sister and thank you my gracious host for allowing me to remain your prisoner in the comfort of new restraints. The intense sarcasm came easily to her twisted mind. Perhaps afterwards you can grace me with another nibble of food to ease my rumbling stomach? Hah. She sounded like Caitlyn. She'd remember to use the exaggerated top-sided accent the next time she saw the girl.
When silence was the clear indicator that she didn't feel like talking, Vi took steps forward and looked at her with such comfort in her bright blue eyes that she made sure to never make direct eye contact. It didn't feel right. It felt…well, she really didn't have a name for how it felt.
"Would you like me to take you to the balcony you were at last night?" Violet asked.
A slight nod of her head was all she gave, but really, that was all that was needed. She heard the chains behind her rattle and with robotic-like movements she was shuffling her way out of the heated room and into the cool night's air. Mortality was weighing heavily on her now, with her limits finally being understood. The world was so full of danger, so full of horrors, and she'd just about managed to find them all. Nightmares, dreams, heroes and villains, everyone and everything she encountered was an enemy. If not right away, a little time would prove her right.
But was that because of them? Or because of her? Her headache returned and she mentally backed away from the question. Not worth confronting it now.
A few flights of stairs and a journey across a bridge had her back in the spot she'd been the night before.
Perhaps it's time you stop living in the past, my dear.
Wise words, but useless for a dead woman. The scales of fate had already been decided. She knew herself, knew what this next month would bring. If she didn't die by some freak breakdown where she'd take one step too far, she definitely would find some way to screw it up at the very end. Jinx couldn't even fake her way out of it. Not like she was now.
Would Silco be turning in his grave if he saw how she turned out? His pride and joy, worth more than the nation of Zaun. If he saw how little hope she had for herself, what would he think? Tears blurred her vision as she stared out towards the large stone walls that kept her out of society. She wouldn't let them fall. Not tonight.
Oh god. Was he even buried? Her heart ached painfully at the thought of his real corpse still sitting in that chair, surrounded by rubble and death, so alone. She wanted to see him again. Not the demon that she saw that night in the council tower. No. She wanted to see his soft, scarred face, gentle and content in his final expression. That's what she saw in the end. A man, so driven by his own ambitions, so unable to stop the march of progress that death was welcomed in the end. He could finally rest.
Would she embrace her ending the same way he did? Nothing but doubt was her automatic response.
Her palms gripped the railing tightly as she hovered over and made a silent vow to ask Caitlyn about it. Maybe she would go and check for her? A dry, humorless laugh echoed into the night. Yeah right. The request was just stupid, but a part of her just wanted to know. Maybe if she spun it in a way that made them more willing to oblige?
She was…haunted and wanted to make sure he was dead? No. Maybe…Ah! She'd use a line like, we are better than our enemies, we honor the fallen no matter what side. Yes! She'd have to tweak it a bit more but the idea was there. The officer would like that. There was a sense of duty and justice within that excuse.
But for now she wanted to forget. It wasn't worth getting excited over, at least, not right this moment.
She sat down and let her feet dangle over the edge of the platform. The gentle wind in the night was able to give her legs the slightest momentum to swing. She was content with the silence of the world right now, but she could tell the person behind her was not. Wooden platforms squeaked while Vi shifted her weight in her boots. She heard a footstep come creak against the floor as she came closer and could practically feel her sibling's need to reach out.
"I- ." Vi started, only to be cut off.
"Don't." Her voice was a light whisper that was spoken just loud enough for her sister to hear.
Don't talk. Don't ruin tonight. It might be considered one of my last. Spoken words meant conversation, it would bring unwanted volatile feelings. She was tired of it all. She didn't want to spiral out of control. She'd already done that once today and it left her with nothing but emptiness.
"Alright." The dejection in Vi's voice was easy to identify.
Sorry sis, you just don't get it.
Her sister's boot took one step away from her and suddenly she was reaching out. Wait! Pale fingers pinched the tiniest fold of fabric on Vi's rugged pants. The tug was so light that it could be easily ignored, but the gasp from above was enough to tell her that she'd noticed.
Don't. She repeated in her mind this time. A silent plea. Don't make me regret this. Don't make me angry. Don't leave. It meant so many things, all of them true.
The pink-haired girl seemed to understand the request and sat down while throwing her legs over the edge alongside her own. Vi leaned backwards to rest on her palms while staring into the night sky. Eyes filled with uncertainty watched her sister relax next to her, noticing the distance between them was still so vast. Despite the calm expression on her older sister's face, she could see the gears within her mind turning, wondering if the chance to speak would present itself.
Not likely.
Violet said she wouldn't leave her. She said she wouldn't run away. Jinx wasn't a fool. Lies upon lies spewed from Vi's mouth when she proclaimed such things. But maybe...maybe Vi didn't even realize she was lying to begin with. How could she possibly understand how broken her little sister was? How could she know how deep her insanity went? Not even she knew.
Some days it was all just one big surprise! A smile pulled at her lips while she thought about her inner excitement. There was just no way to predict the future. No way to know what would set her off tomorrow. But she did know some things. She was certain...if she killed Caitlyn, if she killed Ekko, if she burned this hideout and the people inside to the ground, any one of those acts, Vi would leave her. It was a fact, an inescapable truth, but her big sis wasn't ready to face such a reality. It wasn't even considered in that thick skull of hers.
Odd how Stillwater prison could harden someone so clearly on the outside but the inside was just as young and naive as she was under Vander's watchful eye. So exhausting. So disappointing. Then again, her sibling was sitting beside her. Not like she could really say that about anyone else in her life. Yeah. Mylo, Claggor, Vander, even younger Vi and Silco, she wouldn't count them in the roundup.
Sorry. She tilted her head in apologies towards her demons that clung to her shoulders. There was such a difference between the living and the dead, Jinx just had a more unique understanding than most.
The silence of the night that surrounded them was welcomed and did wonders to soothe the many emotions that itched inside her. It was…nice to share time with Violet in a way that didn't end up with her screaming, fighting, or Vi professing some stupidly profound sense of love. No. They were just together, under the night sky, sharing the edge of the platform above the Firelight's base and that was enough for now.
Bright pink eyes glanced towards her sister, tracing the woman's gaze into the many stars above. She tilted her head upwards to get the same view. When they both looked upon the brightly lit clouds, the glowing moon, and the twinkling stars that framed it all, did they see the same thing? She shook her head to correct her line of thinking. Did it matter if they saw something different?
If Vi could pretend to love someone like her for an entire month, she supposed she could pretend to be fine with it for a single night.